Some say that his genitals are on up side down and that he could solve the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds.

All we know is, he's called Kenneth.

Some say he should be switched off at the mains overnight and that David

Hasslehoff calls him 'son'. All we know is, he's called

Kenneth.

Some say he's bored of being introduced like this, and that if

anyone's going to flog a dead horse it should be him. All we know is, he's

called Kenneth.

Some say he's banned from Oslo. And that in a recent late night deal, he

bought a slightly damaged white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Tönsberg. All

we know is, he's called Kenneth.

Some say he can swim seven lengths under water and he has webbed buttocks. All we know is, he's called Kenneth.

Some say that his skin is the texture of a dolphin's and that he has his own satellites. All

we know is, he's called Kenneth.

Some say that every week he sheds his entire skin, like a snake

and that for some reason he's allergic to the Dutch. All we know

is, he's called Kenneth.

Some say that he's Mac compatible, and that he once punched a horse to the floor.

All we know is, he's called Kenneth.

Some say it's almost impossible for him to wear socks. And that

he can open a bottle of beer with his testes. All we know is,

he's called Kenneth.

Some say that the outside of his nipples are shaped like the Titleist logo and that when there's a really important job to do, he skives off to play croquet. All we know is, he's

called Kenneth.

Some say he thought Star Wars was a documentary. And that he backed out of I'm A Celebrity at the last minute

because he's scared of Australia. And trees. And Koo Stark. All we know is,

he's called Kenneth.

Some say he never blinks and that he roams local woodland foraging for mouse meat. All

we know is, he's called Kenneth.

Some say he invented November. And that for some reason he's been in Brazil all weekend and he came back looking very pleased. All we know is,

he's called Kenneth.

Some say that after he makes love, he eats his partner's head. And that he's recently cut down on his binge

drinking, because it's gone up to 83:- a litre. All we know is, he's called

Kenneth.

Some say he's got a digital face, and that if he felt like it he could fire Petter Stordalen.

All we know is, he's called Kenneth.

Some say his scrotum actually generates a small

gravity field. All we know is, he's called Kenneth.

Some say he once wrestled an elephant to the ground using the

power of his mind and an alarming hairstyle. All we know is, he's

called Kenneth.

Some say he has a life size tattoo of his face, on his face. And that his droppings have been found as far north as Svalbard. All we know is,

he's called Kenneth

Some say he has a pink stripey jumper exactly like ours and that Some say he doesn't understand

queuing. All we know is, he's called Kenneth.

Some say that he invented the hostess trolley. And that he goes

to the same dance class as Fredrik Skavland. All we know is, he's

called Kenneth.

Some say he invented Mesost and that if you insult his

mother, he will headbutt you in the chest. All we know is, he's

called Kenneth.

Some say he doesn't appear on Hotel Caesar and that he'd be

the worst Big Brother contestant ever. All we know is,

he's called Kenneth.

Some say his watch goes up to 14, and that he thinks the

credit crunch is a new type of breakfast cereal. All we know is,

he's called Kenneth.

Some say he drinks by sucking the moisture out of ducks, and that his

crash golfballs is modelled of Britney Spears' nippels. All we know is, he's

called The Stig.

Some say he tastes exactly the same as watercress, and that he

was once arrested for flicking grapes at Fleksnes. All we know is,

he's called Kenneth.

Some say he doesn't understand clouds and that

his ear wax tastes like Turkish delight. All we know is, he's

called Kenneth.

Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught

fire he would burn for 1,000 days. All we know is, he's

called Kenneth.

Some say that by law he's not allowed within 100 yards of Terese Johaug and that he's

never seen Viasat Golf because he's a huge fan of Midsomer Murders. And ... it's almost

impossible for him to wear socks. All we know is, he's called Kenneth.

Some say he's a CIA experiment gone wrong, and that his blood smells of Root

Beer. All we know is, he's called Kenneth.

Some say that one of his eyes is a teste. And that he was turned down for I'm A Celebrity... because people have heard of him. All we know is,

he's called Kenneth.

Some say he's tired of being introduced like this, and if anyone's going to flog a dead horse it should be him. All we know is, he's called

Kenneth.

Some say that he have a brother. All we know is, he's

called The Stig.