At the doctor's...

"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!"

"Do you drink a lot?"

"Not really - I spill most of it!"

A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out

if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says.

"Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks.

"10..." says the doctor.

"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!"

he asks desperately.

"10...9...8...7...6...5...4...3...2...1........"

A boy walks into work, and both of his ears are all bandaged up. The boss says, "What happened to your ears?"

He says, "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and shhh!

I accidentally answered the iron."

The boss says, "Well, that explains one ear, but what happened to your other ear?"He says, "Well, jeez, I had to call the doctor!"