The Squeaky Clean Legacy: Chapter 17.5 What Comes Out of the Fire: Part One

Whenwelastle+theSqueakyCleanLegacy,ourNinthGenera;onheiressElainehadputherbadrela;onshipwithAngusPleasantbehindher,andsheandIanLegacinahadadmiDedthattheirfeelingsforeachotherwentbeyondordinaryfriendship.

Thereisagooddealofthisgoingon.

Alsoagooddealofthis,becausewhileElaine’sfirstcousinNausicaaisaPleasureSim,sheverymuchdisapprovesofPDA.

ButnomaDerhowmuchaffec;onshefeelsforIan,ElainepersistsinbeingafraidofgeNngengaged.It’saclassicRomanceFear,butit’sunderstandableconsideringwhathappenedthelast;me.Mostoftheothercouplesinthehousehaveglitch‐freerela;onships.Well,almostglitch‐free.

ZaneMarius‐Jacquet:Hey!Thatballhurt!Ithoughtyouweren’tmadatmeanymore!

Lenore:Heh‐heh,sorry,Zane.Onenicepoint.Nothingpersonal.

YoudoalmostunderstandNausicaa’spointofview.Therereallyisquitealotofthis.

Atalmostany;meofday.

AtleastNausicaa’sboyfriendNinoCalientemakeshimselfusefularoundthehouse.

Ontheotherhand,Ianmakeshimselfusefularoundthehouse,too.

Andthentherearepar;es,inthiscase,agradua;onpartyforLyDon’syoungerdaughterRegina.

Gawaine:Heyhey,Bunthorne,youshouldgoforit.

Bunthorne:Um,ahem,hi,Dusty.

DustyBroke:You’renotgoingtogivemeahard;meaboutAngus,areyou?BecauseIswearIdidn’tknowhewasengaged.

Bunthorne:No.Elainedoesn’thaveaproblemwithit.WhyshouldI?No,IjustwantedtotellyouthatIthinkyoucandoalotbeDerthanthat.

Dusty:Really?

Bunthorne:Yes.Withme.

Dusty:Oh,you’repullingmyleg.

Bunthorne:HaveImen;onedthatI’maFortuneSimandthatmyfamilyownsabusinessatwhichwesellartworkofdubiousorigin?

Dusty:No,butIwanttohearallaboutthis.

Elaine:Congratula;onsongradua;ngSummaCumLaude,Regina!

Regina:Don’tsayanything.Justdon’t.

I’msureLyDonwillbehappytohavehisdaughterhome,thoughnotashappyasheistoplaywithhisandRubyBlue’spetdog,um,lamb,Baa‐Baa.

Attheboys’house,romancealsoproceedsapace.Thereareplentyoftogapar;estowhichPalomides’fiance,StaceytheGroceryGirl,isusuallyinvited.

Gawaine:See,Iknewthiswouldworkout.

Whydon’tyoufindyourowngirlfriend?

Gawaine:Becauseit’smuchmorefunfixingupotherpeople.

DustyadmiresBunthornebecausehe’sagoodcook.OK,I’veseenhimmakecreampuffs,andhe’sabitcreampuffyhimselfwhenhe’snotbeingapill,sothat’sfairenough.

Evenpeoplewhodon’tliveherefindromance.LinusBurbspentquiteoflotofhis;mewithhisboyfriendEthan.

Telemachus:*whine*

Oh,geez,you’dthinkI’daskedhimtodosomethinghideous.

ItreallydoesmakehimhappytoproposetoAsia.He’sjustpainfullyshy.

Idotrynottoinsertthestandardlineabout“oo,sparkly,”here,butthat’showAsiais.She’saFamilySimandshe’sgotthreeboltswithTelemachus,and‐‐

Asia:Ooo!Sparkly!

Thankyou.

Asia:Thankyou,swee;e.

IreallydonotlikegeNngpopupmessagesabouthowSaxe‐Coburg‐Gotha’sfooddishisalmostemptyandweneedtofillitrightaway.Ialwayspanic.Yourdishisfull,ok?

Ian:Wastheresomethingyouwanted?

Parsifal:Yes.IhaveaWanttoBeYourFriend.

Ian:OK.Makeitspeedy.

ItwouldbemuchspeedierifIanwasn’tsothornysome;mes.

Andifhedidn’tkeepgeNngdistracted.

Palomides:Remindmewhyweworkedsohardtogetthemtogetheragain?

Doc:DoyouevermissthepaDerofliDlefeetaroundthehouse?

Ulysses:Um,no.

Doc:Good.NeitherdoI.

TheirdaughterMollyisquiteenoughforanyone.Foronething,she’sgotawickedaimwithadart.

She’salsoveryobviouslyababyKnowledgeSim.SherollsSkillWantsagain...

Andagain...

Andagain.

Doc:Scholarshipsahoy!

No;cetheeggplantjuiceonthecounter?That’showUlyssesmaxedhisskillsbeforehewasateenager,andifit’sgoodenoughforherdaddy,it’sgoodenoughforher.

Theonedownsideaboutbeingavampire’sdaughteristhatheisn’tavailabletohelpyouwithhomeworkwhenyoucomehomefromschool,soMollyracksoutonthesofainstead.

IsupposeitwouldhavebeenpossibletohaveDocorAchillesdoit.

ButUlyssesreallywantedto.HealwaysrollsSkillWantsforhisdaughter,unlesshe’srollingthewanttoEncouragehertoBeGrouchy,encouragementthatshedoesnotneed.

Also,thismakesthemBestFriends,soit’sworthit.

Molly:AndIwantedtoaskforhomeworkhelp,soitallworksout.

ThisiswhyIsayMollyisababyKnowledgeSim.Shekeepsdoingthisautonomously.

Daddy’savampire,UncleAchillesisaRockGod,andMommy’sintheCriminaltrack,sothey’reallnightpeople.

Doc:Shooflee?Is;nk?

Molly:Youwanttobuylemonade,UncleAchilles.

Achilles:Ido?EnoughtogetoutofthehottubwhereIwaswithoneofmygirlfriends?

Molly:Yup.

Yeah,I’msorrytosaythatMollygetspreDymuchwhatevershewants.

DocandUlyssesareanextremelystalkycouplewhenhe’supandaround.

Datesdohavetocometoanendatsomepoint,though.

Ithinkyoushouldkissyourhusbandgoodbyebeforeheburnsup.Notwithpassion.Literally.

Mollyalsogotabird.CallhimPsmith.The“p”issilent,asin“psiDacosis.”

__ShamelesslyrippedofffromPGWodehouse.

Childrencan’tteachbirdstotalk,soDochadto.

Doc:Globalwarming.

Psmith:Glugglywalnuts.

Molly:Andwhileyouswoopdownandaimforhiseyes,I’llli+hiswallet,ok?

Molly:Youmayfirewhenready,Gridley.

Cueuptheseventeenth;methishashappenedtoday—

Doc:Congratula;ons,Ulysses,you’rehot.

Nausicaa:Agh,dotheyhavetodothat?

Well,youknowthey’regoingtodoitanyway.

Everybodyinthefamilyhastobethere,ofcourse,includingMolly’solderbrotherandsister,andtheyoughttobeusedtoallthestalkingbynow.

Sheismuchtoosmarttosayanythingaboutherwishes,butIwillbetitissomethingscary.

Andthefirstsetofboosterrocketsgooff!

Sophia:Gogirl!

Doc:Notterribleclothing!

MollygrewupWell.Andlucky.Heroufitsuitsher.ShejusthadtobeKnowledge.Ididn’tevenroll.

Doc:Congratula;onsonafabulousweddingparty,Ulysses!

Ulysses:Thanks!Hey,didMollyjustearnascholarship?

Doc:Also,youarehot.

Psmith:Let’stalkfinancialreform.

Telemachus:Dowehaveto?

KaiistheyoungestoftheGoodytwoshoesknights,andhe’sPop,sohehadtohaveacellphone.HehappenedtomeetMollywhilehewasoutbuyingone.

Makingfriendswentwellinsomeways‐‐

Notsowellinotherways.

Molly:Youaredead,doyouhearme?DEAD.

Molly:AreyouguystoobusyforaTalkThroughBearorwhat?

GardenClubGuy:Thanksforinvi;ngusforaninspec;on,Mr.Goodytwoshoes.Ididn’tknowyouwereinterestedingardening.

Achilles:I’mnot,really.Mybrother’sthegardener,buthe’sasleepinhiscoffinrightnow,andIcoulduseaWishingWell.

“Excuseme,youappeartobehavinganemergencyonyourlot.Mayberightnowisn’tthebest;meforaninspec;on.”

TheGardenClub.Alwayshelpful.

Docjustwentpermaplat.She’saCriminalMastermindnow.

AndMollytoppedherTeenCareer,soshe’llbereadytogotocollegewhenKaiisreadytogo.

Kai:Hey,didyouknowthatphonecalljustmadeusBestFriends?Soyoudon’twanttokillmea+erall?

AttheSqueakyCleanLegacyhouse,it’sbusinessasusual.PenelopeandDinadancon;nuetheirthreeboltstalkiness.They’retheoneswhogotthemselvestogetherinthefirstplace,andI’veneverregreDedit.

Penelope:Look!IhaveakiDen!

Dinadan:I’vegotonetoo.

Therearefinger‐gunningServos:

Killick:WhichitIsa^&(^%^Tin’honortobepumpin’thebilgesoutaroundhere,swelpme.

Andthereareghostswhocan’tfigureouthowtogetthroughawall.Theydothisallnightlong.Ithinkthey’retryingtogettotheirbedinthebasement,onlytheycan’treachit.Nobed,nocheer,noscaringanyone.

Thefi+hgenera;onheiressRubyistoobrighttogetstuckandmanagestogetinagoodHauntortwo.NodoubtthisiswhyKillickmissesherandkeepsrollingthewanttoseeherghost.

LyDonseemstohavedecidedtodropbytheLegacyHousetocheckuponthings.

LyDon:Iamthefamilyhistorian,a+erall.

AndDe/Fireflowerdroppedin—becauseshe’sasimselfandtheydothatkindofthing?

SinceKaiandMollyareBestFriends,whynotletthemSneakOut,right?ItwasaSnowDayanyway,andtheydidn’tgetcaught.

ItoccurstomethattherehavebeenfartoofewkiDenpictureslately.Iwilltrytomakeupforthis.

Don’taskwhichonesarewhich.Ican’treallytellthemapartatthisstage.

Thenextseveralcap;onsaresomeversionof“D’aw.”

Kai:KiDensarewhatwedo.

SinceKai’sPopularity,andobviouslywehavesome;metokillbeforethekiDensgrowup,whynothaveaparty?

Kai:Party!Yessss!

Molly:OfcourseIwasinvited.

Gawaine:OfcourseIwasinvited.Ithrowmostofthepar;esatschool.

It’strue,Molly,youwanttobenicetohim.

Molly:Didyouknowyourlegsareglitchingthroughtheendofthetable?

Let’smakeitaNewYear’sBash!We’veneverhadoneofthosebefore!

YayyyHappyNewYearyaaay!

Molly:YayyyHappyNewYearyaaay!

Penelope:Thisisabitdisappoin;ng.

Kindofliketherealthing.

Palomides:AndTHATiscreepy.

ToddlerNewYearreallyiscreepy.

Babiesarenotsupposedtosmustle.

ButKaigetshisfirstRoofRaiserpartyoutofit,soitwasworthit.

Ooo!TimeforkiDensgrowingup!Thisiswhatwewerewai;ngfor!

Caramel‐‐

Cappucino‐‐

‐‐whogrowsuphalfinandhalfoutoftheliDerbox.

Theylookiden;cal.Andstriking.

AndChocolate.

They’rejustasnicewhenthey’recats,people.

Wehaven’thadenoughcatpictures,either.MoreChocolate.

Therearefourotherbeds.

Eventuallyshefoundone.

Cecil:Myclockappearstohaveweatheredmyabsence.

Clearlyhemissedit.

IthinkCecilworriedaboutthefish,too,butit’snicetoseeCeciliabondingwithMax.

Sparklewaswatchingthemtheen;re;me.

Fish:Ournervescannotstandmuchmore.

Ceciliaseemstohaveacceptedtherealitythatherhusbandisgone,andthatherPapaandhersonarealive.

Sheismuchsadder,butsheseemsmuchmoremature.

Also,likeeveryoneelseinthehouse,shecheatsatchess.Andherfamilyhasnotstoppedworryingabouther.

Max:Mama?

Max:Mama,whatareyoudoing?Areyouquitecertainyoufeelwell?

Cecilia:Ithought—Ithoughtsinceyouhaveyourgarden,thatmaybeIcouldaddaliDlebrightness,aliDlecolor...

They’renotimportant;they’rejustflowers.ButIdolikethem,Max.

Max:Sinceyouarefondofthem...

Max:‐‐Idonotseewhatharmitcoulddo.

Andyet,Maxs;lltendshisgardenatmidnight.

Max:IfMamanolongerrequiresmyassistance—Iwishsomeonewouldletmeknow.

Yous;llworryabouther.

Max:Yes.

To be continued. . .