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The Good, The Bad, and The Uglacy, Back From the Dead, Chapter 7

9 Months ago I was writing my legacy, life was good. What happened, you ask? Did I suddenlyforget about the sims, move to a foreign country, change my name, disappear in the Bermuda Triangle?When we last left the Uglacy Legacy, Bobo and Victoria had just married, it was Christmas time,And everything was going well sure things were a little laggy, but nothing an old sim pro like mecouldnt handle.

And then it happened ERROR 12 !!!

My sims disappeared, sometimes one member of the family, sometimesmore. I tried reset sims, teleportation, taking out mods, downloads, even moving to another neighborhood, nothing worked. Worse mygame would not save, which made having a legacy impossible.

I looked up everything I could about Error 12, it is caused by allthe memories every sim has basically crashing your game. There isno cure, and although sim players have been begging for help in EAstechinical forum for years EA ignores it. They simply dont respond.

Why those son of a Exactly Victoria. Thats how I felt. My game shouldnt crashafter 3 generations. This is a major error a lot of players are having and EA cant be bothered to fix it. But Im not one to give up.

So I uploaded my sims to the exchange, uninstalled my game,re-installed my game, downloaded them, moved them to a new neighborhood, and after several haphazard attempts, it seems to have worked, for the moment.Fingers crossed

First, I moved the family on to the biggest lot in Moonlight Falls, and after buying that lot the family was left with $53,193.00. This was money theyhad earned, so it wasnt cheating, and I wasnt starting off on an empty lotwith toddler twins. Im not that sadistic. I built a small, economical home.

Welcome back to the Cartwright Legacy. This is generation 3. We are a legacy family, if you dont know what that means, google it. Bascally its a challenge, no cheats, trying to reachgeneration 10. But thats not hard enough, this is an Uglacy, so we are trying to create the ugliestsim possible in 10 generations. I am Bobo, I was an imaginary friend, oh if only I had stayedimaginary. Now I am Victoria Cartwrights plaything. WE were married briefly, before the game crashed and due to a mysterious error, did not save. I am basically the house slave. Now I haveto go, because I have toilets to fix, dinner to make, and a garden to tend to. Oh, and did I mentiontoddler twins? I am secretly hoping this damn game crashes again!An Introduction by Bobo Cartwright

Realizing I needed as little sims sucking up precious memories as necessary, I moved Heath, the vampire spare, out into his own small castle across town. Perfect digs for a vampire bachelor on the prowl.Isnt that stereotyping to think all vampires want a castle? Maybe I wanted a condo!

Finally, back to legacy living. First order of businessOH fine, fine, Ill marry him! Bring me the boy toy.

Oh this is the best day of my life, Victoria! I cant believe its finally happening!

Yeah, yeah, heres the ring. Now shut up about it already, Bobo.

Are we going somewhere exciting for our honey moon?

Um. sort of.

I cant believe I married such a beautiful woman

I cant believe I married this clown. Oh well. The sex is good.

And thus the honeymoon commenced in a tree. Dont judge me.

I thought we might go to China, or France or something

And freeze up in some foreign country, not on your life, lover boy.

For my lovely bride.

Oh Bobo, they look delicious!

Well okay then, moving on

Meanwhile, back in the house, Audra (future heir) was potty training Nick (useless twin, no idea why I let that happen).

Dont be such a drama queen, Audra, potty training isnt that bad okay maybe it is.

While Bobo saves Laura from starving to death.Daddy, no one fed me in days!

Thats because we were all frozen or disappeared, sweetie.Daddys back now.

Victoria was becoming a little better mom, she has this thing about readingbedtime stories to the kids. Usually they are already crashed by the time she does, but at least the thought is there.

Finally, it was time for the twins to age up, I was as excited as Audra looks.

Big Woo.

Exactly.

Laura grew up exceedingly average while Ramie eyeballed the birthday cake.

Is Lauras legs missing? Oh well. Lets hope thats not another glitch.

Nick grew up with severe lazy eye apparently.

I think I can see my own nose.

Nick does have an imaginary friend named Hester, but poor Hester didnt get the option to grow up. Just as well, because we cant spare extra memories anymore.

So Audra, who is doing poorly in school (D) gets an option to get hergrades up by going to France and interviewing a local for school.School trip, hell yes.

Hello maam, may I ask you a few questions about how awesome it is to be French?

But of course but first, I am looking for a daring soul whois willing to provide some assistance for an ample reward.

Er does that mean I cant interview you?

I need you to go into the catacombs of Paris and recover a book for me.

Lady, I just want a school interview.

I have given you some dried food and a tent, run along.

Dried food? I want croissants and champagne. What kind of vacation is this? My tour guide didnt say anything about no tent.

Youre fricking kidding me, right? I could be seeingthe Eiffel Tower and Im in this hole in the ground?!

Fine, whatever. Oh my, look, a secret door!

Arrrgh, this is so not worth it! Are these things poisonous?

Well if I had to guess

Why lookie there, someone forgot their big pile of money.

Yay, your vacation is paid for!

Vacation?! Wandering around tombs, being stung by poisonous centipedes. And you wonder why your game crashes?! Sim kharma!

Sooo, it says we recovered Margot Petits quest item, but guess what?

Its not in my inventory.

Yay, yet another glitch. And I am ripped off once more.

No matter, we shall enjoy Paris on Audras scooter! Oh how I love hernose, or lack of one. Best Sims 3 Uglacy Ive had so far, if it doesnt crash and burn.

The Hills are alive with the sound of music

Sorry just couldnt resist that.

Audra spent the rest of day meeting with French locals.The French greeting apparently is a lot like the Vulcan death grip.Who knew?

I then had Audra scope out potential guys, surely they have some ugly guys in France. We found this fellow in a shop, unfortunately he was married.

Wee, mademoiselle, but we French are very open. You could be my mistress.

Yea, never mind.

Then Audra found this sharp dressed young man hanging around the townsquare. Although I love his ensemble, I am afraid his big nose with her lackof any nose might produce normal children.

Not a chance I want to take.

A wander by was apparently not impressed.

Monsieur, do you have any idea how bad your clothes clash, my eyes are bleeding. You should be ashamed to call yourself French.

37

After a disappointing day of husband hunting, Audra went back to herBed and Breakfast, where this creepy paparazzi lady took pictures ofher all night.

I shall have the best story in Simquierer, Audra Cartwright Sleeps!

Where have you been young lady?!

Ive been to France, mom.

Dont you get smart with me! I saw those tabloid pictures of you sleeping alone. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Wha..what?

Daddy, Im going to the moon.

Okay dear, be back before dinner.

Cant somebody help me with my homework?

And waste precious time on you, dont be silly.

Bobo did get assigned to bake cookies for school, but hes been having one little problem. Dont those cookies look delicious! Charco-chip!

Uh, is that a police car outside?

I seriously thought it was a fire truck at first the way Bobo kept burning cookies. But itwas just the police bringing Audra home again. What a relief.

What are you doing Audra, thats the second night the police brought you home, youre coming in at all hours!

Like you care mother, you hate me!

Stop reading my relationship panel!

Do I have to eat burnt cookies for dinner?

Yes, your daddy had to take the good cookies to school and givethem to other children for his happy points.

Thats not fair, you guys got to eat cake and hot dogs! Why do I have to eat the burnt cookies?

Well when you can cook, you can make your own food.

Thats store bought birthday cake!

Err well cause I said so, thats why.

I dont know what it is about Nick, but he seriously breaks everything he touches! Grrrr. Youre a useless spare! Stop annoying the sims thatmatter!

Audra has done so much sneaking that now she is permanently stuckin sneak mode everywhere she goes.I am so stealth!

You are so glitched.

My favorite thing about Victoria is that if she is left to her own free willshe will always go riding. Usually at 3 AM in the morning in her nightgown and cowboy boots. And she rides over the graves like a boss.

Bobo, meanwhile, seems to have developed a fairy dust problem. I actually found him in town behind the dumpsters with a questionable fairy. This looked suspicious to me.

So, um, how much for a quarter sprinkle?

100 simoleans. Hey I hear you like old ladies, want some fairy godmother loving. Ill throw it in half price.

No thanks. Just the dust, and it better be the good stuff this time.

And that was when he showed up. Tristan Van Gould.

Okay boys and girls, we all know who this looks like. The sugar coated vampireof so many teenage girls dreams Oh I am going to have fun with this

Dear Edward fans, I apologize in advance, but keep in mind, this is joke, only a joke! Please keep deaththreats to a minimum.

Oh hi, I didnt see you there. Who are you, a new guy in town?

My name is Edward Cullen, I mean . My family just lives up the road. Weve been arounda very, very long time.

Oh? Since the 90s?

Exactly. Were practically ancient.

Oh my gosh, youre so hot!

I know.

Hey mister, want to play chess?

Move along little boy, youre in my photo shot.

So do you have a girlfriend?

I did. Her name was Bella, she was the love of my life, and than she ran off with someloser director, it was all over the tabloids. That s how she repaid me for giving her eternal life. That and a really awesome 2011 Volvo.

That tramp! How dare her!

Exactly, that Volvo got incredible gas mileage.

Audra, all this sneaking out and failing school has to stop! Its time I lectured you.That and youre hanging out with emo vampires.

Cool it Bobo, I refuse to be lectured by someone who is glitched the wrong direction, and kindly get your elbow out of my shoulder!

To spite her bad grades, Audra did manage to graduate, aas exhibited here, by her sneaking out to her graduation*sigh* Love the sneak glitch

I managed to snap a family shot before the graduation, Laura of course hadto be difficult and stand somewhere else.

This family looks so excited. Like those 1800 photos where you thinkWow, those people look really, really miserable.

Audra, where is Laura and BoBo? Arent they coming?

Yea, I just shoved them in the trunk. Theyll be fine.

I got to pee, I got to pee! Audra stuck me in the trunk over an hour ago, and she hit every speed bump here!

Oh stop whining, Laura. If you had to go that bad, why didnt you peein the trunk?.

I did!

Is my suit wet? OH gross.

Quick everybody, follow me, and be very, very sneaky.

OH brother!

Hmmm, hey little girl, I wanna be your friend.

Hey, hey, is that my kid in your thought bubble?! Get the hellaway from my daughter, you freak!

Crap, did he just see my thought bubble?

And so everyone gathered for the graduation festivities, including the town pervert.

Laura: Can we go inside now, that guy is creeping me out.

And Audras graduation was apparently very boring. Like most graduations. Who knows what happens in those sims rabbit holes? On the plus side, the town pervert had slithered off.

Laura immediately grows up, with Bobo rooting for her. Victoria couldnt be there because, well, she hates Audra.Seriously, their panels are red, I am talking loathing, burning hate.

No surprises. Same old Audra.

Yeah, except Im of age. Partay time!

And Audra did go out on the town, to the Toadstool, the hot hangoutin Moonlight Falls. I can only describe it as Bunch of Freaks.

At this moment, I really, really wish my heir was a man.

Oh this is pure Uglacy material. I hope something breeds with her.

Audra also went to the Red Velvet Lounge, but honestly, it wasnt any classier.

She has an alien nose. Im so proud, *sniff*.

While Audra was out celebrating, the Uglacy household was having birthdays left and right. First, Laura, than Bobo.

I see a sparkle dad!

Oh nooo.

Yay dad. You look great!

Really?

Um, you got a free sweater out of the deal.

Nick grew up too. Thats all Im going to say.

Up to now I couldnt pick any traits for the twins becausethey were raised so badly, but finally I got the option and gavethem the family trait Equestrian.

Im sneaking back in. Hope no one sees me. I am sooo sneaky.

Youre of age, Audra, this is not necessary. *Sigh*

Grandma, please. Can I play with the dollhouse now. You had your turn when you were alive!

Oh dear, I have no words for Nick. His choice in sleep wear and stupid facial expressions says it all.

I just inserted this picture to prove the animals are still alive.Thats Ramie (The chow), Sonny in front, and Angel standingoff in the distance. By now, I should have gotten Sonny a girlfriend,so I can keep my horse line going, but I am afraid to add more to this lot.

What?! Im getting cheated out of a mare because of an error message?! Thats crap EA!!!

Poor Sonny. He could try EAs forum, but alas, they would onlyignore his pleads for help.

And so this is where I will leave my fan base, if I still have one out there.

I will continue on battling any errors with my usual sarcasm.Until next time Happy Simming!