My CheesecakeThe White Legacy:Generation Five, Spares

SimMe: “Sheesh! Why did I make this hedge so flipping high!?”

SimMe: “HEY! SIS! IS ROSIE HOME!?”

LSWINR: “Computer room, Keika.”

SimMe: “THANKS!!”

LSWINR: “No need to shout, I can see your hand…”

SimMe: “Hi there, Rosie. You wouldn’t happen to be writing a chapter of your legacy right now, would you?”

Rosie: “Oh no, you don’t! I get enough snark from you in my legacy, I don’t need you reading over my shoulder here, too!”

SimMe: “Well, I’m going to go help myself to the contents of your fridge, then. Mine’s empty, you see.”

----------------------Rosie (WistfulRose), Author of The Legrand Legacy, and also my sister.

SimMe: “I found a cheesecake in your fridge. It’s pretty good, too.”

Rosie: “Keika…!”

SimMe: “I knew you wouldn’t mind.”

SimMe: “By the way, I’m also giving you and all the other simselves jobs so you show up more often. You’re welcome.”

Rosie: “M-my cheesecake…”

Mia: *muted* “Rose~! Let me in~!”

Rosie: “Hey, Mia! Door’s open!”

Keika: “Oh, no. Simselves. I’m about to get it, aren’t I?”

-----------------------Mia (Mia Moonstar), author of The Hill Asylum.

Mia: “Rose!”

Rosie: “Mia! It’s still a bit early, isn’t it?”

Mia: “Oh, I’m just the forward delegate. I’ve got about sixty pounds of pizza in my inventory. I’m here to help set up!”

Rosie: “Awesome!”

SimMe: “Um, have I missed something? What’s going on?”

Mia: “Oh, hey, Keika. What are you doing here? Don’t you have a spares update to write?”

SimMe: “Oh! That’s right! The spares update!”

SimMe: “Well, I usually do this in the comfort of my own home, but welcome to the spares update! We’re going to make a circuit around the valley and hit up most of the houses, so buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy, and probably very long, ride. But first, we’re going to go back in time…! Whooo…!”

Dane has just left for college, and as of the following night, Jade and Sun have begun their search for Arc and Merry. They’ve decided to start downtown, in the hopes of picking up a hint or a rumor. After all, Baltic spoke about a graveyard on their lot, and those graves had to come from somewhere. Someone must be talking about it, right? And what better place to look for those rumors than a poker and juice bar?

Sun: “Well, this was, like, your idea, Star. Where do we start?”

Jade: “The bar. I need some cranberry juice.”

Sun: “You know, I’ve always, like, wondered if there was maybe something totally stronger these places could, like, be serving, man.”

Neffy: “One more.”

Barkeep: “Coming right up, ma’am.”

Jade: “Does she look familiar?”

Sun: “You know, I was just, like, thinking the same thing. You totally read my mind, Star. Trippy.”

Jade: “I think I’ve got it. It’s been years… but…”

Jade: “…Neffy?”

Neffy: “Hey there, readers. I’m finally getting some face time.”

Please stay in character, Neffy. I don’t need you confusing anybody.

Neffy: “Have a finger gun.”

Neffy: “Jade. What are you doing here? Is that a vampire with you?”

Sun: “We’ve totally been married since she graduated from college. Like, where have you been, dudette? Under a rock?”

Neffy: “Look, don’t bother me. I’ve had a long day.”

Jade: “We won’t take long. We’re looking for Arc and Merry. Do you know where they are?”

Neffy: “You’re looking for that goatstack that killed my father, too?”

Jade: “What are we doing here?”

Neffy: “You’re kidding, right? I’ve been doing research on Arc and his whereabouts since I was a teenager. Do you want to see my notes or not?”

Sun: “Like, no need to get riled up, dudette. Breathe. It’s all cool. Don’t, like, fill the place up with negative vibes.”

Neffy: “Whatever, freak. Now, you should know just in case you see them… you know my brother, Zircon? He’s got a girlfriend. Some bimbo chef named Angeline. Natural three-bolters, you know how it is. I wouldn’t be surprised if Zircon pops the question soon.”

Angeline: “Oh, Zircon!”

Neffy: “I’m telling you I’ve drawn a blank here, but I don’t know, here’s all my work anyway. Arctos White, born generation three, parents Notoro White and Aubrey Cho, both deceased. Current whereabouts unknown. Wife, Anne Lillard, son, Feldspar White. Both declared dead after a house fire. Siblings, Cygnus White, Pardus White, deceased, Desmodus White, deceased, Latimeria White.”

Jade: “Cygnus… he’s the only one of his siblings still alive who’s not also conspiring with him.”

Sun: “D’you suppose your uncle Cygnus would, like, know anything about Arc?”

Neffy: “You’re fooling yourself. Cygnus is ancient, probably senile, too. Besides, if he knew something, he would tell me!”

Jade: “All the same, I think we should talk to him. Thank you, Neffy.”

Neffy: “Don’t let the door hit you on the tail on your way out.”

Neffy: “Hmm… Cygnus…”

Zircon: “Hey Neffs, you okay in there? Angie made some sandwiches… last night… but they were really good, so I thought I’d bring you one this morning.”

Neffy: “…”

Zircon: “That is it, Neffy! I’m coming in!”

Zircon: “Eat this sandwich, Neffy.”

Neffy: “No. I’m not hungry. I’m busy. Go away.”

Zircon: “Nepheline White, you eat something now, or so help me, I’m going to shove it down your throat!”

Neffy: “You’re not my father, Zircon! My father is dead, and I am going to avenge him! Or do you not care, going off and getting married like you can just forget them and nothing’s even wrong!?”

Zircon: “You are not the only one who lost them, Neffy! They were my parents too!”

Neffy: “It was different for you! You were already a teenager! I was still just a kid!”

Zircon: “Oh, boohoo! Go cry me a river, like your brand of suffering is worse than everybody else’s! For your information, princess, I still think about them and I hurt every day, and your going off to seek revenge is not going to solve anything! Now eat that sandwich! I am not going to lose you the same way I lost Mom! You are not going to starve yourself to death, understand me!?”

Angeline: “Hello there, honey! Today’s the big day! You know, it’s bad luck to see the bride… before… oh, Zircon, honey, are you okay? What happened?”

Zircon: “I love you so much, Angie. I mean it.”

Angeline: “Aww, I love you too, Con.”

Zircon: “Let’s go get married, shall we?”

Angeline: “Did you talk to your sister? Is she going to come?”

Zircon: “Hmph. I doubt it.”

Neffy: “Congratulations, Zircon. She’s a good one. She’ll make you happy… you deserve that. …wait, what’s that?”

Neffy: “That couldn’t be… could it? He wouldn’t live in a house like that, would he? It’s too obvious! I mean… how could I have not seen that place before!?”

Sun: “D’you suppose Cygnus is even, like, still awake?”

Jade: “The lights are on… his children grew up and moved out long ago, so it should be just him and his wife still here.”

Sun: “I guess.”

Jade: “…”

Sun: “…”

Girl: “…”

Girl: “Who’re you?”

Sun: “Sorry dudette. We must, like, totally have the wrong house. Peace out, little dudette.”

Girl: “Why are you talking like that? You’re weird.”

“Gemini White!”

Calcite: “Sorry about that, folks. Gem, go get your pajamas on, it’s long past your bedtime.”

Gemini: “But Daddy…”

Calcite: “Go on princess, to bed. And make sure you give Grandpa a goodnight hug while you’re at it.”

Gemini: “Fine. If I have to.”

Calcite: “Upstairs with you, no dawdling. Hey, you’re Jade and Sun, right? Current monarchs over the legacy? Why don’t you come in?”

Sun: “Just waiting for an invitation, man.”

Calcite: “Well, you have it.”

Sun: “Sweet.”

Calcite: “Sorry about that. Never give a young, impressionable girl a princess-themed bedroom, you know what I mean?”

Sun: “Haha, she’s totally like Lyra was when she was, like, that age.”

Jade: “We know exactly what you mean. Is Cygnus here?”

Calcite: “Oh, sure.”

Calcite: “Hey, Dad. Jade and Sun here to see you.”

Cygnus: “Jade? Well, if it isn’t Dez’s daughter! Long time, no see!”

Cygnus: “You’re here to ask about Arc and Merry? My, I haven’t seen them in ages. Not since the barbecue, I think…”

*crash* *boom*

Calcite: “Hey Dad, Heather and I are going to go make sure Gem made it into bed. Do you need us?”

Cygnus: “No, go ahead.”

Cygnus: “Hey, I know! You want to hear all about why there’s a precious little child in the house rather than just a grumpy old man, right?”

Sun: “Um…”

Jade: “Actually…”

Cygnus: “Well, I’ll tell you.”

This is how it all started. Cal went up to the university for a big football game and saw Heather there. Love at first sight, he tells me—on his part, anyway. She wasn’t as receptive.

Castor Nova: “Dude! Pay attention, will ya!”

Cal: “Uh, sorry, man. I’m, um, a bit distracted.”

Castor Nova: “I’ll say!”

Heather: “What a dork, huh Tiffany?”

It took him a while to convince her otherwise, but that boy is not one for becoming discouraged. I did good raising him, I think.

Of course, Hex—our cat, you know, Cal bought her to replace Skip when he died—anyway, she seems to like Heather almost as much as Cal does.

He proposed over by that pond in the back, you know. They got married there after she was all graduated, too.

And of course, little Gem came along not long after that. Spitting image of her mother, that one.

We all adore her, the cute little thing, except for Hex. I’ve always wondered why that is.

My wife Elle finally reached her lifetime want—Become Hand of Poseidon, that is—and passed away only a few days later. It was a horrible, rainy evening. It’s been lonely without her; I miss her quite a bit.

Elle was the first one to be buried at the new Peachtree Valley graveyard, Tranquil Acres. I like to go visit her there once in a while, you know, to keep her spirits up. I shouldn’t be much longer after her, anyway.

Calcite: “Come on Dad, don’t talk like that. You’re going to be around for a long time yet.”

Cygnus: “That’s what I’m afraid of. How’s Gem?”

Calcite: “Fine. She pulled the drawers out of her dresser again. Heather’s helping her get them back in.”

Sun: “You have, like, a great family, man.”

Cygnus: “I know.”

Sun: “But what about, like, Arc, man?”

Cygnus: “Arc? Oh yes, we were talking about him, weren’t we?”

Cygnus: “I’m sorry, but I don’t really know what to tell you. Last I heard of him, he’d killed Par. I haven’t seen him myself since his house burned down, and you know, I haven’t really tried to keep in contact, either with him or Merry.”

Calcite: “You could try asking Aunt Arie.”

Jade: “Arie?”

Calcite: “Sure. She’s the only sim alive older than Dad, you know. She might know something.”

Jade: “Thanks for your help, Uncle Cygnus.”

Cygnus: “Anytime, sweetie.”

Cygnus: “Goodbye! Come visit again soon!”

Sun: “You know, I think Neffy might be, like, on to something. Your uncle could be, like, getting a little old.”

Jade: “Hush. I’m not exactly young either.”

Sun: “Sure you are, Star.”

Cygnus: “Such a nice couple.”

Calcite: “No… Dad…”

Witch: “Hello! I’m Jocelyn Wise, and I represent the neutral magic order of Riverblossom Hills! How are you? How’s your day been?”

Calcite: “Right now really isn’t the time…”

Jocelyn: “So, are you Calcite White? The neutral warlock?”

Calcite: *sniff* “Where’s the rest of your order, then?”

Jocelyn: “Weeeeell… I might be the only one in it right now…”

Jocelyn: “Which is why I’m so excited to welcome you into the order!! I can’t believe you’re a neutral warlock, too!”

Seraphine: “For the last time, I didn’t betray you!!”

Arc: “Oh?”

Arc: “Then how is it the heir not only ran to you for help, but also knew your name?”

Seraphine: “I don’t know!! Maybe he heard about me from somewhere! How am I supposed to know!? When could I possibly even have had a chance to go talk to him, anyway!? I’ve been here! You know I’ve been here!”

Merry: “Get her out of the way already, will you, Arc? The useless girl is in the way of my execution!”

Seraphine: “I DIDN’T BETRAY YOU!! You can’t do this!!”

Baltic: “Seraphine, just get out of the way. I’m the only one they want gone.”

Seraphine: “Well, I don’t see why you don’t just kill me, too!! I’ve grown out of being able to see the future, what more do you want of me!? Just get rid of me already!!”

Arc: “Don’t tempt me. I’ve had a trying day.”

Baltic: “Seraphine… go. You’re going to end up dead, too.”

Seraphine: “NO!!”

Seraphine: “Oof!”

Baltic: “Sorry, Seraphine.”

Arc: “…”

Arc: “Merry, stop.”

Merry: “Whaaat!? Why!?”

Arc: “Seraphine. Baltic...”

Arc: “You would do anything for each other, wouldn’t you?”

Seraphine: “Hey. Baltic. Psst. You in there?”

Baltic: “Seraphine!? Where are you? How’d you know I was here!?”

Seraphine: “Other side of the bookcase, Baltic. They locked me in there once too, remember? When I dyed my hair?”

Baltic: “Oh, yeah. I remember. Back when we were teenagers.”

Seraphine: “Yeah… I still feel kind of like a teenager sometimes, though.”

Baltic: “Hey, Seraphine…”

Seraphine: “Yeah?”

Baltic: “I’m really sorry. This is all kind of my fault.”

Seraphine: “Don’t be stupid. None of this is your fault.”

Baltic: “…”

Seraphine: “Don’t worry. I’ll get you out of that tower.”

Arc: “Wishing isn’t going to get him out of there. That’s the beauty of towers—no doors, you know. You’re going to need a teleportation spell.”

Seraphine: “Let him go!!”

Arc: “Sure.”

Seraphine: “I keep telling you, I never—wait, what do you mean ‘sure’!?”

Baltic: *muted* “Seraphine? What’s going on out there?”

Arc: “You see, I need certain elements of the trap for the legacy brats checked on. The couch, the table, don’t forget Dez’s urn. And I need someone in the kitchen, waiting for when they show up, to make sure all our guests make it to the parlor, just in case they go astray.”

Seraphine: “And you want me to do it!? After what you did to Baltic!?”

Arc: “Well, someone’s got to do it. And it seems to me like someone here might want to prove their loyalty, to make sure their boyfriend stays safely tucked away in that tower, and not on the wrong end of Latimeria’s wand. Maybe eventually we could even talk about release…”

Seraphine: “He’s not my—”

Arc: “Whatever you say.”

Seraphine: “Fine! I’ll do what you want, if you let Baltic go!”

Arc: “Sure. Someday.”

Arie: “Are you out of your flipping mind!?”

Arie: “Great idea to go searching for Arc and Merry. No, really. A woman past her prime and a vampire ignorant of the sun that just might kill him trying to hunt down a man and a witch who, though older than the two of them, haven't matured a bit neither in looks nor physical abilities. That seems like a greaaaaat plan.”

Arie: “I am being sarcastic.”

Sun: “Whoa. Chill out. Talk about negative vibes.”

Arie: “Oh, and did I mention, they're going to face A FREAKING WITCH? WITH A COVEN?”

Arie: “Oh, you two are going to kill me.”

Jade: “…”

Sun: “…”

*doorbell*

Arie: “Not now, not now…”

Arie: “Kevin, what are you doing here. On my doorstep. In the middle of the night.”

Kevin: “Well, I searched far and wide for a flower that could outshine you, and this is the closest I came. I brought them to you so I could compare them to your glory, but it’s pretty obvious that they don’t even come closing to being more beautiful than you. I hope you’ll take these flowers anyway.”

Arie: “Alright, Kevin. I’ve told you this before, but I’ll tell you again. Leave. Me. Alone.”

Kevin: “Know what’s on the menu?”

Arie: *sigh* “What?”

Kevin: “Me-n-u!”

Arie: “That was bad, even for you.”

Kevin: “Me without you is like a nerd without braces, a shoe without laces, asentencewithoutspaces…!”

Arie: “Ugh!”

Sun: *whispering* “Some of his lines are actually, like, totally rad. I might have to, like, steal some…”

Jade: *also whispering* “Don’t you dare.”

Arie: “Ugh. Sorry about that. He seems to think he’s cute or something. Which he most certainly is not!”

Kevin: *muted* “You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall is in love with me!”

Arie: “Horrible.”

Jade: “Where did you meet him?”

Arie: “Girls’ night out with Callie and Gizmo. He’s been regularly showing up on my doorstep ever since.”

Arie: “But this isn’t about me! It’s about you, thinking you can go off and raid a witch’s house on your own!”

Jade: “We’ll be fine.”

Arie: “You won’t! They’ve already killed at least once, who’s to say they won’t do it again? Tell me, Jade, what’s more important—recovering Dez’s tombstone, which by the way is an inanimate object, or keeping your life intact? Huh?”

Jade: “His spirit is tied to it. Also, Merry is a witch capable of using it to make him a zombie.”

Arie: “So? Tell me Jade, what would your father say if he were given the choice between becoming a zombie and seeing his daughter survive, or having her rescue him and get killed in the process?”

Jade: “He wouldn’t say anything.”

Arie: “That’s beside the point! Besides, this whole thing is probably just a trap to lure you in! I mean, why else would Arc waltz into your house, in the middle of a family meeting no less, just to run away again the first time he’s threatened? He wanted you to know he was behind it, Jade!”

Jade: “I’m not the important one, you know. I’m old.”

Sun: “You are not.”

Jade: “I’ve had my time in the spotlight. I’ve had my kids, and I’ve declared my heir.”

Arie: “You know, don’t hate me for saying this, but you’re right. You’re not the important one. If this is a trap, it’s not for you, it’s for…”

Arie: “…a bunch of impetuous kids who don’t think before they run right to…”

Arie: “I’ll call the kids!”

Jade: “I’ll call a taxi for the school!”

Sun: “I’ll… I’ll do something!”

Arie: “Hyde! Thank goodness you’re still at the Greek house. Listen, don’t you go anywhere or do anything stupid, alright? Can I talk to Andi? …What do you mean, she, Lyra, and Dane are missing!? You stupid kids!! YES, I really mean that!! Pay attention, okay? Call me the instant they show up, you understand me?”

Jade: “No, you don’t understand, dispatcher. I know it’s four in the morning. I know everyone’s sleeping. I need a taxi to Sim State immediately. Wake someone up!”

Sun: “If those children went to Arc and Merry’s house… if those two did anything to hurt them…”

Arie: “Sun, calm down. Deep breaths.”

Sun: “I am going to RIP SOMEONE’S HEAD OFF!!”

Arie: “You couldn’t get a taxi?”

Jade: “…no.”

Sun: *muttering* “…going to grab him by the ears, and—”

Arie: “I guess there’s nothing for it to wait until they call, then… you know, it’s getting close to dawn…”

Sun: *growling* “We can wait.”

Jade: “…”

Sun: *livid*

Arie: “……I feel like I should be doing more than this.”

Jade: “Like what?”

Arie: “I don’t know…”

Arie: “Hello? Hello? Hyde? Are they home? Are they safe? …oh.”

………………right, then.

I believe we are now more or less caught up to the events of university this last go around.

Mia: “What do you think, Rosie? Balloons right here?”

The rest of the spares’ stories you’re about to see will be taking place at the present day. Just thought I’d pop in and mention that. Next stop: Spar’s house!

Kaylynn: “Celestine! Spinel! It’s so good to see you!”

Celestine: “Hey, Kaylynn. Is Spar home? We’ve got something to tell him.”

Kaylynn: “He sure is, he’s just in his study. Come on in!”

Kaylynn: “HONEY, YOUR SISTERS ARE HERE!”

Spar: “WHICH ONES?”

Kaylynn: “CELESTINE AND SPINEL!”

Spar: “I’LL BE RIGHT OUT!”

Mail Lady: “My, but it’s a lovely day for some photobombing, don’t you think?”

Spinel: “So, how’ve things been going? I don’t think we’ve seen you two since you and Spar got married.”

Kaylynn: “Oh, life has been fabulous! Just wait till you see Spar, I think you’ll be impressed!”

Kaylynn: “See, we made a deal pretty soon after we got married. I bought new clothes…

Kaylynn: “…and he got a haircut.”

Kaylynn: “I think he looks very dashing now.”

Spar: “Hey now, are you talking about me behind my back again?”

Kaylynn: “Only about how very handsome you are, sugarbuns. But you know, someday I’ll get you to actually shave the stubble off your cheeks, and maybe cut your hair even shorter.”

Spar: “Never! I will never concede! …Unless you ask me, because I will do it. I just love you that much.”

Spinel: *gag*

Celestine: “Spar! It’s so great to see you!”

Spar: “Celestine! Spinel!”

Spinel: “Spar, I hope you plan to add more windows to this room. It’s really kind of gloomy in here, you hermit Knowledge Sim you.”

Spinel: “Spar, Kaylynn, there’s something we really need to talk to you about…”

Spar: “Hold on, let me get this chair pulled up so I can sit down…”

Spar: “Ah, there we go. So, what’s up?”

Celestine: “Spar… Dad’s gone. He passed away the other night. Cal said—”

Spar: “—that he had been talking with Jade and Sun, and he collapsed pretty much right after they left. I know.”

Celestine: “He already called you?”

Spar: “Yeah.”

Celestine: “Well… okay, then.”

Spar: “Don’t think I’m calloused… I do miss him a lot, really. Even though he wasn’t my biological father, he was my dad.”

Spinel: “That’s right, how is your search for your biological father going? Not to sound, how’d you put it, calloused or anything, since Dad just, you know, passed away, but…”

Spar: “No, it’s fine to ask, but it’s not going well, actually. The orphanage refuses to tell me anything about how I came to be put up for adoption, except that my mother died in a house fire and my father could still be alive somewhere. They won’t even tell me which neighborhood it happened in! I’ve been reduced to flipping through old newspaper articles to see if any of the fires match my case.”

Kaylynn: “Honey, aren’t you going to tell them about our kids?”

Spinel: “Kids? Really? How come you never called us!?”

Spar: “Well, um, it’s not exactly what you think…”

Liriel the Cat: “Mrowr?”

Spar: “That’s Liriel, my cat, and there’s another one around here somewhere named Rufio, and he’s Kaylynn’s. We’re hoping for kittens soon.”

Kaylynn: “We’re still talking about human children. We’ll call you for sure if that ever happens.”

Spar: “You know, it’s been a while since I’ve seen Sulfur. How’s he doing? Anything exciting happening?”

Celestine: “Don’t tell him I said this, but no. His son Orion just recently hit his teenage birthday, if you call that interesting.”

Sulfur: “Orion, would you please go next door and get Callie to stop this thunderstorm already? It’s been going on since 3 in the blessed AM! There’s no call for it. She doesn’t need to be using her magic to make all the rest of us miserable!”

Orion: “What, you want me to ask again? She never listens, Dad!”

Sulfur: “Just give it a shot, please.”

Orion: “Hey, Callie… um, my dad wanted to know when you were going to stop the rain.”

Callie: “Oh, really? Hasn’t your dad taught you to never disturb a witch when she’s working?”

Orion: “Um…”

Callie: “Tell you what. I’ll stop the rain…”

Callie: “…when my sister’s children stop screaming! And while we’re at it, how about she takes her husband and her triplets and moves out of my little two-bedroom house, huh? Does that sound like a good idea, Orion?”

Gizmo: “La-di-da.”

Orion: “Um… sure…?”

Later that night…

Gizmo: “Remember, Callie. Aranea doesn’t go to sleep unless there’s hard rock music playing in the background. Vulpecula won’t eat unless Mr. Cuddles is in the high chair with her. Sagitta’s pretty easy going, but she hates mashed carrots and will try to rub them in your face if you give them to her.”

Callie: “Seriously, Giz. Go. I can handle the Terrors. Go have your date with Mr. Darcy here and don’t bother about us.”

Gizmo: “Thanks, Callie. It means a lot.”

Callie: “Sure, sure. Go have a good time. And keep your phone handy; if the hospital calls to tell you I’m dead, you’ll know why. Those girls will be the death of me, mark my words.”

Callie: “You know, witches in fairy tales used to eat children. Suddenly I see why. Those witches hadn’t even had their dining rooms rearranged to accommodate those kids.”

Callie: “Eh, you’re too cute to eat. I was never much into cannibalism, anyway. But don’t you go telling your parents I said that, y’hear? I love you guys, but I still want you to move out!”

Sagitta: “Gween!”

Callie: “It goes in this hole, silly goose.”

Tigris: “Hey, Mom. Whatcha working on?”

Aquamarine: “My thesis.”

Tigris: “Oh? I didn’t know you were getting your degree.”

Aquamarine: “I’m not. I’m writing a thesis anyway.”

Tigris: “O-kay. What about?”

Aquamarine: “The habitual lack of face time we as spares are given, and the fact that this family only gets two slides when there finally is a big update devoted to spares and cousins like us.”

Corona: “Well, all that’s really happened with us lately is that Tigris and I became teenagers.”

Aquamarine: “And that’s an entire section of my paper: ‘The Lack of Anything Resembling Plot Associated with Boring Spares.’”

Alrighty then, let’s move on to Andi, shall we? I know you’ve just been dying to see how she and Dane have been getting on since graduating from college. I think to avoid snide comments like those from Aquamarine—

Aquamarine: “I’m onto you, Author!!”

—I’m going to switch to a more traditional observational style for Andi and Dane. Just the basic facts. I hope you don’t mind the slight change in style. Oh, well, whatever. Here we go!

This is her house. As you can see, she had an indoor basketball court appended to it.

She and The Jonathan held a, ahem, romantic private wedding ceremony in the best feature of their house. Andi even wore one of Lyra’s dresses for the occasion.

Jonathan was arrested for wearing a bowl cut.

Oh, you know I’m just kidding. The police in this game are too incompetent to actually arrest anyone. Nah, Andi and Jonathan adopted a cute little puppy named Otis.

Isn’t he adorable? I love golden retrievers.

And that’s about it for this household. See, Andi and Jonathan are planning on having kids, but I want them to wait. I’ve told them that they need to get Otis trained up first before they can trust him with toddlers, but really I just want the first children of Generation Six to be born to Hyde.

On to the final house in the rotation!

Hey. Hey, Dane.

Dane: *sigh* “What is it, Author?”

Whoa, never mind. Why so down, buddy?

Dane: “I still can’t get my big break! What is wrong with these directors? Can’t they see that I am pure acting gold? Don’t they know I will be the next big star of the big screen?” *sigh* “I’m working as the Hand of Poseidon to pay the bills. It’s not exactly glamorous work.”

Since when is being the mortal right-hand man of the sea god not glamorous?

Dane: “Is it getting me a star on the Walk of Simfame?”

Well… no.

Dane: “Precisely.”

Right. So when are you going to marry Lucy? She’s waiting for you, you know.

Dane: *slurp*

Alright, I believe that covers it! Many thanks to—hold on just a second.

Would you keep it down!? Some of us are trying to narrate here!!

Anyway! Many thanks to Mia, who in her hilarious reaction to chapter four of generation four more or less wrote Arie’s dialogue this chapter. I just changed a couple of words to make it more relevant to the conversation; most of it is directly quoted. I guess I’ll be seeing… you… later… why am I still getting messages from Peachtree Valley? Did I miss someone?

Kali: “There. That should keep them down for a little while longer. …this isn’t getting any easier.”

Contessa: “KALI!! Upstairs!”

Kali: “Oh boy…”

Kali: “You needed me, Contessa?”

Contessa: “Yes. Bring me another sheep. This one’s empty.”

Kali: “Yes, your grace.”

Contessa: “And then take over from Romi.”

Kali: “Yes, Contessa.”

Kali: “Hey Romi. Go get something to drink; I’m here to relieve you.”

Romi: “Sorry, but I’m not going to be relieved until there’s more of us here than just you, me, the Contessa, and Percy Nutjob here.”

Percy: “HAHAHAHA!!” *singing* “There’s magic in the blood just like there’s godly power in the blood it runs long and red and glitters when there’s magic in the blood tasty tasty blood! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

Romi: “I just don’t understand it! Why is it taking so long? I mean, the Count got his body rebuilt in weeks! That wretched legacy heiress we almost caught has already had her children, and those children have grown up and graduated college, and we’re still waiting on any one of our loathe members to revive! And not only that, but we’re having to deal with Perseus, who’s gone rogue, with just the two of us keeping him under control! And the Contessa is drinking so much that we’re almost out of sheep! We can’t hunt here anymore or people are going to start noticing their friends are going missing! Why is this so hard!?”

Perseus: “LET ME OUT!! I’M THIRSTY!! I WANT THE WITCHLING!!”

Romi: “Get back away from the bars, Perseus!”

Perseus: “ARGH!!”

Right, then. Have a map of Peachtree Valley, as it stands presently, halfway through the challenge. That seems cheery and un-creepy, right? It’s newly spruced up! (I believe in trees, you see. That includes spruces. Sorry, I just couldn’t let that horrible, horrible pun go unsaid.)

Okay, that really is it for this spares update this time. I will soon be releasing a family tree-slash-recap everything that’s happened up to this point, so if all the different sims in this chapter confused you, that’s okay. Hopefully you will soon be de-confused. Until then, happy simming!

One last joke before I go… ------------->

Arie: “OUCH!!”