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Interchange, Vol. 39/2, 221–244, 2008. © Springer 2008DOI: 10.1007/s10780-008-9061-4

‘Beating the Odds,’ and Making Their Way in University:

The Case of Three Females of Immigrant Parents

CARL E. JAMES and LEANNE TAYLORYork University

ABSTRACT: This article explores the experiences, perceptions,and aspirations of three marginalized female university students.Their admission was facilitated by an access program designed tosupport the participation of young people who, while meetingentrance requirements, would otherwise not be able to attenduniversity because of their social and financial circumstances. Weexplore how gender, race, and generational/ immigrant statusfunction in the educational experiences of these students and howthey negotiated the structural barriers that stood in the way oftheir educational aspirations. The stories of the three studentsreflect the complex relationship between their optimism,conviction, and sense of accomplishment, and their doubts, fears,and struggles as related to institutional demands and parentalexpectations. Aware of the opportunity structures that exist withinthe society, and seemingly committed to meritocratic ideals, theyremain hopeful that those structures will facilitate them achievingthe rewards they believe postsecondary education can makepossible.

KEYWORDS: Marginalized students, parental expectations,generational status, gender, class, race, ethnicity, highereducation, access programs, meritocracy.

I found that I could take all of the struggles of my life and usethem as motivation to keep on going forward. Now I feel asthough I have my life under control, and I don’t need to be helddown by the shackles of my misery. Now, I try harder to not letthe problems in my life affect my marks, as school has becomemy top priority. I feel as though life can only go up from herebecause I am focused and determined to make something ofmyself and not let things hold me down. (Amy)

222 CARL E. JAMES and LEANNE TAYLOR

I am determined to break away from an antiquated traditionthat diminishes my role as a person simply because I am awoman. I am a capable and independent woman who haschoices in life. My choice, at the moment, is to pursue a post-secondary education. (Jasmine)

As hard as it is for me to admit it, I am a statistic. I am a youngPortuguese woman with no education, money, or backup. I amdetermined to make other choices for my life. I believe withperseverance, I will prevail over the shortcomings of my life.(Laura)

With these comments, Amy, Jasmine, and Laura (pseudonyms) soughtto explain (as they were asked in an application form) their socialsituation and make their respective arguments for admission into YorkUniversity. They were among twenty recruits into a university andcollege access program (Bridging the Solitudes) that was designed tofacilitate the entrance, and support the participation, of young peoplewho, while meeting entrance requirements, would otherwise not be ableto attend university or college because of their social, cultural, and/orfinancial circumstances. In their applications, each of these studentsrelated their experiences growing up and facing barriers that preventedthem from realizing their educational aspirations (and in some casestheir parents’ aspirations for them). In a compelling way, they expressedhow they would benefit from their university education, and noted whatthey understood were the choices they needed to make in order toimprove their lives. What emerges in the stories of these three youngwomen are parallels with respect to their aspirations, theirunderstanding of their individual choices, and how they have been ableto negotiate the barriers they recognize as having an impact on theirlives – barriers they understood to be related to their identities aswomen, as children of immigrants, and as marginalized individuals withlittle of the necessary economic, social, and cultural capital. Althoughthey were each acutely cognizant of the barriers or difficulties theyfaced, they seemed convinced that the university education they sought,would, as Amy put it, enable them to escape “the shackles of mymisery,” or as Jasmine said, the “antiquated tradition” that limited their“choices in life.” Yet, as their stories reveal, the very “shackles” theysought to escape contributed to challenges and problems as they livedthrough their university education.

‘BEATING THE ODDS’ – THE CASE OF THREE FEMALES 223

Relevant to this discussion is the fact that Amy, Jasmine, andLaura’s participation in university was made possible by an accessprogram. But as James and Mannette (2000) observe, access programsat Canadian institutions structured by the liberal ideology ofmulticulturalism and the myth of meritocracy, are merely a product oftinkering with admissions processes, while the inequitable universitystructures remain. The authors explain that marginalized students whogain entry to university as a result of these programs do so at a greatcost since they are likely to experience racism, classism, sexism,marginalization, and discrimination, while bearing the burden ofconvincing their peers and professors alike of their legitimate presencein the institution (Brathwaite, 2003; James, 1997; James & Haig-Brown, 2001).

The stories of Amy (Panamanian-Chinese), Jasmine (Sri Lankan),and Laura (Portuguese), as communicated to us (as researchers and alsoas confidants), provide insights into the complex and shiftingrelationships between their university and familial experiences andambitions to pursue postsecondary education. Our discussion is guidedby a number of questions. How do gender, ethnicity, race, andgenerational/immigrant status function in the educational experiencesand aspirations of these students? How do they deal with theexpectations, demands, and challenges of their families and educationalprograms? What are the implications for them in attending universitythrough an access program? Essentially, on the basis of their narrationand interpretation of their respective familial, community, anduniversity experiences, we discuss how these three students, perceivingthat university can provide the necessary opportunities and possibilitiesto achieve their educational and career aspirations, exercised agencyand engaged the university system in their bid to realize theireducational goals.

Gender, Class and Race: Theoretical Considerations

Our discussion of how Amy, Jasmine, and Laura negotiate universityalong with family and community takes as its starting point theunderstanding that the educational system is not equitable andmeritocratic as is the common perception, and as such often fails torespond to the diverse needs, interests, and aspirations of marginalizedstudents (Maynes, 2001; Pease-Alvarez & Schecter, 2005; Portelli &Solomon, 2001). Critical education theories (including feminism, anti-


racism feminism, and anti-racism education) are useful in helping usexamine and understand the ways in which students participate ineducational institutions which are understood to be conflicting,incongruous and contested sites of power relations (Apple, 2001; Dei &dCalliste, 2001; Freire, 1995; Kumashiro, 2000; McCarthy, Crichlow,Dimitriadis, & Dolby, 2005; McLaren, 1998). These theories drawattention to the fact that social characteristics, such as gender,ethnicity, race, immigrant status, and social class interact withinstitutional factors to influence the aspirations, successes, and/orfailures of students. Accordingly, institutions through their variousauthoritative discourses and inequitable practices both privilege andmarginalize, reward and oppress students. These perspectives revealhow social and cultural capital figure into the identities of students, andaccount for their educational and occupational experiences andoutcomes (James, 2005).

In her work on qualitative social research and social justice,Michelle Weis suggests that we must recognize the variety of factorsthat play into how women understand, imagine and construct theirlives. She points out, for example, that gender, race, and social classprefigure the ways in which individuals understand issues of family,community, and the economy, and “their demographic characteristicsmean both that they have different experiences and that they offerdiffering interpretations of experiences that may, in fact, be similar”(2004, p. 28). Furthermore, how individuals see, understand, and engagein the world is determined by how they are located and positioned in theworld, and as a result develop different perspectives, goals, andambitions. Hence, our analyses of the experiences of Amy, Jasmine, andLaura go beyond gender; for as feminist theorist, Spelman insists:

To talk simply about relations between whites and blacks, betweenrich and poor, between colonizer and colonized, masks genderdistinctions within each group; for example, the problem with anexplanation of inequality based simply on class ignores inequalitiesbased on gender, but for similar reasons, talking simply aboutrelations between men and women masks race and classdistinctions among men and among women. (cited in Weis, 2004,p. 30)

Educational researchers have pointed out that social class “mostsignificantly affects post-secondary participation and is the hardest toalter” (Anisef, Okihiro, & James, 1982 p. 119). In fact, Livingstone andStowe (2001, p.1) found in their study of the educational attainment ofyoung Canadians across generations, those from “professional/


managerial families remain more than three times as likely to attain adegree as those from working class origins” (p.1). And as Proweller(1998) argues, social class “remains a relatively unspoken descriptor,commonly filtered through discourses of gender, race, and ethnicity” (p.69). Nevertheless, class has been shown to have a significant effect onstudents’ acquisition of the necessary cultural capital to take advantageof needed educational opportunities (see Anisef, Axelrod, Baichman,James & Turrittin, 2000; Maynes, 2001; Mclaren, 1998). For instance,as Brantlinger (2003) points out with reference to working classstudents, “even when they attend heterogeneous schools, trackingresults in students of different classes not having the sameopportunities for learning” (p. 14) and the tendency of teachers to makeuse of curriculum that reference middle class experiences and valuesresults in lower and working class children often feeling inferior in theirknowledge, and/or less deserving of future educational opportunities(Brantlinger, 2003).

However, as Ng reminds us, “class is not a static category” but aprocess in which individuals engage, doing so in ways that bothconstruct and alter their relations to “the productive and reproductiveforces of society, using whatever means they have at their disposal”(1993, p. 50). In this regard, immigrant parents motivated by theirambitions of a “better life” for themselves and their children make everyeffort to surmount the lower socioeconomic or entry class status barriersin society that conspire to limit their opportunities and frustrate theirrealization of ambitions. And in cases where parents, because of theirlimited resources and/or unfamiliarity with the educational,occupational and social systems, are unable to pass on the social andcultural capital necessary to access the resources and institutionsneeded to succeed economically and socially in the society, they tend tolook to, and place their faith in educational institutions. In such acontext, immigrant parents often encourage and expect their childrento seek out postsecondary educational opportunities as a way ofensuring their social and economic success (James & Haig-Brown, 2001;Plaza, 2004).

Noteworthy here is the notion that individual student achievementsalso come to represent, in many cases, those of the minority ethno-racialcommunity of which they are members (James, 2005). This collectivesense of achievement is part of the “we-ness” which tends tocharacterize minority communities – the construction or definition ofwhich, in large part, has to do with race, ethnicity, birthplace, and avariety of other characteristics. Such characterization in turn operates


to position them in the lower stratum of the social stratification system.This sense of belonging to a community and having to adhere to acommon set of values and aspirations, not only tends to provideparameters for living, but often serves to inculcate in individuals andfamilies feelings of responsibility to live up to the understood values andexpectations of the community (Handa, 2003). Ironically, while on theone hand, parents seek to thwart the limitations due to social class, onthe other, they knowingly or unknowingly, place other kinds oflimitations on their children as they function as custodians or guardiansof the perceived values and expectations of their respectivecommunities,

Hidden and not so hidden in the social class discourse is referenceto race. In fact, social class is often used as a substitute for the termrace. So any comprehensive or deep analysis of the experiences ofmarginalized individuals must necessarily take into account theinterlocking relationship of race and class. Critical race theory, then, isa useful additional lens with which to ascertain how race operates ininfluencing the educational lives of these three students of colour.Although one of our participants, Laura, is white and Portuguese, werefer to all three as being of colour. For we are persuaded by LuisAguiar’s (2001) argument in which he likened his experiences as aworking class Portuguese student in university, or as he puts it, “inwhite academia,” to that of Blacks – a term which for him refers to“political colour” and marginality (p. 179). Aguiar writes that “thePortuguese experience in Canada is of ‘racial middleness’ … that racialmiddleness is [an] experience of marginality vis-a-vis whiteness, and anexperience of whiteness and belonging vis-a-vis blackness” (p. 178).1 Inthis regard, as Duncan asserts,

Given its emphasis on placing the stories that people of colour tellof their experiences at the center of analysis, critical race theory(CRT) is an especially useful tool for examining how sociotemporalnotions of race inform the naturalization of oppression and thenormalization of racial inequality in public schools and society.(2005, p. 94; see also Dixon & Rousseau, 2005)

Anti-racism feminist theorists further acknowledge the interlockingrelationship of race and gender as needing particular attention in anyanalyses (Calliste & Dei, 2000; Dua, 1999; Wood, 2005). Dua (1999)explains that anti-racism feminism “attempts to integrate the way raceand gender function together in structuring social inequality” (p. 9). Andgiving attention to the heterogeneity within racialized or marginalizedgroups and communities, Calliste and Dei (2000) maintain that “the


contextual specificities of raced and gendered subjectivity means thatindividuals and groups negotiate their entry into society at differentlevels” (p. 166). Recognizing the normative, hegemonic ideologies likemeritocracy, which encourage students to believe that they arerewarded on the basis of merit and that everyone has equal opportunityto succeed if they work hard, anti-racism feminism advocates for thepositioning of racial minority women not simply as victims but as activeagents capable of challenging and resisting inequalities.

Critical scholars argue for the utilization of “personal narratives andstories as valid forms of ‘evidence’” in documenting the experiences ofmarginalized individuals. Doing so, they contend, not only provides theopportunity to share and hear the different voices (to which we shouldlisten), but also allows for a personal expression of the experiences ofand lessons learned by marginalized individuals, as well as theknowledge they possess (Dixon and Rousseau, 2005, pp.10-11). This actof enabling voices serves to empower, and as Teranishi asserts, is“instrumental in providing a voice for students who are otherwise notheard, thus allowing students to provide their own perspectives on theireducational experiences” (cited in Dixon and Rousseau, 2005, p.11).However, Goodson (1995) advises that how individuals present andnarrate their lives within educational studies and research “is deeplyconnected to storylines derived from elsewhere” and is based on a “priorscript” – “a script written elsewhere, by others for other purposes” (p.66). In this regard, we must be cognizant of how “stories, like the livesthey tell about, are always open-ended, inconclusive, and ambiguous,and subject to multiple interpretations” (Denzin, 1989, p. 81).

The following discussion of these immigrant women’s stories then,provides us with some insight into their experiences, perceptions, andexpectations of higher education as they are mediated by their familial,peer, and community relationships. Their articulation of theseexperiences do not merely describe their situation, but provide us withtheir own complex interpretations of their contexts and situations whichare, of course, influenced and conceptualized within particular social,economic, cultural, and political contexts (Denzin, 1996; Munro, 1998).Further, these women’s stories are not mere snapshots of their lives atone point of their educational career. Rather, their stories (collected overa two year period) reveal their shifts, changes, and growth, as well asthe conflicts and tensions that are integral to their experiences,ambitions, and aspirations (see Handa, 2003; James, 2002; Wood, 2005).As well, their stories provide a view of how these students’ locations asworking class, immigrant, ethnic, and racial minority women contribute


to the unique challenges they face at school and within their immigrantfamilies,

Bridging the Solitudes Project: Getting the StoriesWhile the project provided marginalized young people the chance to gaina university and college education, it also provided us the opportunityto document their experiences while providing needed educational andsocial supports (such as the weekly group meetings). Beyond gaininginsights into their first and second year experiences in, and perceptionsof, university, particularly as facilitated through an access program, wealso learn of how these students navigated the educational structures,the expectations of their family, peers, and communities, and thetensions that resulted from their pursuit of a university education.

The stories we tell emerge from a variety of qualitative researchmethodologies (Denzin & Lincoln, 2000). The data were collectedthrough individual life history interviews, weekly one-hour groupsessions/meetings, application statements, and personal journals whichparticipants kept (specifically for the purpose of this research)throughout their involvement in the program. Participants wereinterviewed individually three times over the two years – when theyentered the program, and at the end of their first and second years. Allinterviews and group discussions were tape-recorded and transcribedand students gave us their signed consent to use all the informationthey provided.2 In the various data collection methods, we sought tohave participants recognize that beyond their individual and familycircumstances, structural factors – for example, the university entrancerequirement, course assignments, and expectations – also shaped theirlives. For as Sparkes (1995) notes:

People often only dimly see, if at all, the operation of widerstructural forces upon their lives in relation to, for example,gender, race and ethnicity, age, ability, social class, and sexualorientation – even though they experience their effects in anintensely personal way. (p. 86)

We recognize that the ways in which participants responded to ourquestions (in interviews or in group discussions) – as well as ourinterpretation of their comments and stories are all influenced by ourown locations as faculty member and researchers, as well as ourpersonal biographies (as related to, among other factors race andgender). So, for example, the fact that L, (a woman of colour) conductedthe interviews, facilitated the weekly sessions, and engaged in


numerous personal/social conversations with all three young women,(and their familiarity with the various researchers) undoubtedly playeda role in how and the extent to which they willingly shared theirschooling and familial experiences.

Although the three young women selected for this paper are typicalof the participants in terms of their working class and immigrantbackgrounds, the fact that they grew up in different areas of the cityand represent the ethno-racial diversity that was to be found among thegroup, gave their stories a particular appeal. All of the women are thefirst in their respective families to attend university, and all have had(while in school and/or at work) to take on particular genderedresponsibilities (e.g., care for their parents and siblings). They similarlytalked about receiving contradictory messages from their parents – thatis, being expected and encouraged to attend university while at thesame time criticized for spending their time on educational activitiesand not getting a job that would earn money to support themselves andfamily members. Moreover, Amy, Jasmine, and Laura were three of themost consistent participants in attending the weekly sessions andproviding research information (Creswell, 1994).

The Participants: A Profile in BriefAmyAmy was one of the program’s youngest applicants, When we first mether (at age 18), she looked even younger than her age, but appearedlively, friendly, and sociable. Dressed in noticeably stylish clothing anddisplaying visible energy, she interacted with the group with an easeand comfort that suggested a socially outgoing nature. Amy was born inPanama of Chinese parents (both parents were born in different regionsof China and moved to Panama when they were relatively young). Herparents immigrated to Canada (Toronto) with seven and a half year oldAmy and her sister. (Her brother was born in Canada later). Amy grewup in one of Toronto’s downtown inner-city neighbourhoods andcontinued to reside there while in university. She accepted York’s offerof admission despite her parents’ expectations that she would attend theUniversity of Toronto (a university where she was also accepted). At thetime of admission, Amy had planned to pursue Sociology and UrbanStudies. However, shortly after she was admitted, she changed hermajor to Human Resources. Amy revealed that because of her father’saddiction and legal problems, as well as, but to a lesser extent, hermother’s health problems (resulting in her inability to work) her parents


could not financially assist her to attend university, hence the Bridgingprogram provided a welcome opportunity. Although her parents werehappy that she was attending university, they believed that she hadwon a scholarship that would pay for much of her education. However,on several occasions (in interviews and weekly sessions) Amycommented on how her parents were quite disappointed that she hadchosen to attend York, even though it was York that had the degreeprogram in which she was most interested. Amy’s decision to attendYork also represented a struggle for her because accepting to participatein the Bridging access program (which she referred to as a scholarship,the details of which she kept a secret) meant that she had to revealmany of the difficulties that she was experiencing at home.

JasmineJasmine arrived for her first Bridging interview (August, 2001) with hermother, who seemed very eager to participate in all matters pertainingto her daughter’s education. Jasmine presented herself as a very open,attentive, and eager young woman (age 20 at the time) who wanted to“get a headstart” at realizing her ambitions. Her candid nature (keepingin mind that her mother was present and just outside the interviewroom) was striking, During the interview, and throughout herparticipation in the Bridging program, she openly described many of thedifficult experiences she has had growing up and in school, Sheexplained that she came to Canada with her parents and two youngersisters at the age of 13. By the age of 19, Jasmine, a married woman (ather parents’ insistence), found herself responsible (as the eldest in thefamily) for helping to financially support her mother and two youngersisters as a result of her parents’ divorce. In her interviews andapplication, Jasmine discussed the struggles she experienced while ina violently abusive marriage to a man whom she ultimately left (afterless than a year) and who subsequently left her with a $15,000 debt (thelast time we spoke she has was in the process of getting a legal divorce),This debt delayed Jasmine’s entry to both the Bridging program anduniversity for a year, during which time (while still in high school) she,her sister and mother worked overtime (20-30 hours/week) to pay off thedebt and raise enough money for her to start university. She eventuallycame to York one year later in September, 2002. Upon her admission,she registered into the Administrative Studies program. Whileattending university, Jasmine’s mother expected her to work full-time


to support the family, especially in light of the fact that the familycontinued to accumulate a great deal of debt.

LauraAt the first introductory Bridging the Solitudes meeting in the summerof 2002, Laura entered the room (which was already filled with morethan a dozen other Bridging students) with an air of confidence. Shemade her presence known not only through her physical appearance(high heels, trendy short skirt, and sunglasses), but in her obviouscomfort speaking in front of a group and being one of the few to askquestions. Laura was born in Canada to Portuguese immigrant parentsand entered university through the Bridging program at the age of 23,She had attended Seneca College a few years prior, but was pressuredby her boyfriend at the time to drop out part-way through the program.She is the middle child in a family of 3 girls. Her mother, she told us,had “no real formal education” and her father, who is divorced from hermother, had some high school education and had been on disability(sustained in construction) for about six years at that time. Laura choseto attend York’s Glendon campus to pursue English and Linguistics. Shetold us that she chose Glendon campus not only for its French languageopportunities (which she wanted to develop) but because she preferredthe middle to upper class neighbourhood in which that campus waslocated. By her choice of university campus, Laura seemed to besignaling that she wanted, as much as possible, to ensconce herself inmiddle class surroundings. During October of her second year at York,Laura married her long-time boyfriend and gave birth to their first babythe following March, Shortly after the birth of her son, she discoveredshe was pregnant again and had a second baby the following year,Throughout her marriage and two pregnancies, Laura attendedresearch meetings and stayed enrolled in school.

Accessing University and Struggling with the Expectations of Home and School

Recall that these young women got the chance to attend universitythrough an access program which was introduced to them by theirschool and community counsellors. They all thought that the programwas a great opportunity, or as Laura put it, “a door opener,” and as Amydescribed, “a wonderful scholarship.” In their applications they usedwords such as capable, confident, mature, motivated, smart, anddetermined, in their attempts to demonstrate that they were not


failures and were well able to handle university education (James &Mannette, 2000), Their contention seems to be that they utilized theBridging program because they did not have the resources and support,especially from their parents, to attend university. Here is how Laurastated it in her application.

This [Bridging] opportunity came to me by surprise when I hadexpressed my desire to go to university with a counsellor at St.Christopher’s House. I have grown to be a confident maturingwoman and strongly feel the need to learn and challenge myself.To financially support myself, I have to work many hours as aCSR [customer service representative]. .... I see myself as a smartperson, but I am not an educated person. This research projectis an open door. If I go through it, I will be breaking the moldthat my family has had to live with for generations. I will not bemaking the same mistake my parents did when they gave up oneducation. Even though this opportunity was presented to mepast the deadline, I have hope. .... Although I have overcomemany obstacles, I am still only qualified to earn a base salarywhich only allows me to afford a life in areas of poverty. .... I amdetermined to make other choices for my life. I believe withperseverance, I will prevail over the shortcomings of my life.

Here, as in the introductory quote, Laura makes reference to her ethnicbackground (that is, “I am a young Portuguese woman with noeducation, money, or backup”) and signaled her related marginalizationas playing an important role in her motivation to pursue a universityeducation. In this regard, saying that she did not wish to become “astatistic” and that she wished to use this opportunity to break “the moldthat my family has had to live with for generations,” was an implicitreference to the existing information about Portuguese students andtheir low educational achievements in school (James & Burnaby, 2003;Nunes, 1998). Furthermore, Laura went on to say, “with the experienceof university, I can be a role model to someone and more importantlyhave the connections and time to be involved in the community.”Evidently, the community remains a very significant and instrumentalpart of what also motivated Laura and the others. They wanted to avoidbeing part of the stereotypes, and in doing so, as Laura said, become “arole model” not only to prove that members of their community couldattend university, but also by helping the community through theirinvolvement (James, 2005).


Like Laura, Amy talked about the lack of finance and her desire notto incur debt as that which made the Bridging program “a goodopportunity” for her.

My family was going through a lot of financial stuff. It wascrazy, so I saw the opportunity. I spoke with a counsellor andthey just suggested it, because I had been talking to them abouthow I don’t know how I’m going to do this and I don’t want to beon OSAP and doing all this stuff, I had my scholarship fund allready for me but family problems [intervened] that couldn’t be apriority because of other things that were going on, So, it waslike, what about my education? Doesn’t my family care aboutthat? But there were other bigger things that needed to be takencare of, so the money was actually taken away from myscholarship fund. So, I saw this opportunity and I thought, ‘ohgreat.’ And yeah, I kinda looked at it like, Laura, you know,there are lower income people who need help to get throughuniversity because there was nothing else that they could go to.And that was the way I saw it ... but I need it too. And it’s a goodopportunity and York has what I need and it’s offering what Iwant; so I took it. But then not once did I think, because I’mtaking this I’m going to feel sorry for myself or say I’ve gotta takeall this help from other people. I took it as an opportunity for meto get where I want and also because at that time I couldn’tafford it, there was just no way. The only thing, I would becarrying this large debt; that for sure I didn’t want. I mean Icould have gone to U of T. I got accepted. I could have gone there,taken OSAP, [and] gone into a program that I didn’t want. Butit would have been convenient for me, it would have been goodfor my mom. My parents would have been happy, My parents arenot happy with me coming here first of all. They’re happy aboutthe scholarship because it’s helping me, and my dad isconstantly blaming himself that he had to take the money fromme ’cause now I’m on this – I’m on support from Bridging andit’s just terrible….

That Amy’s parents had established a scholarship fund for her, can beseen as evidence that her parents did expect that she would attenduniversity; but an institution that they regarded as prestigious – theUniversity of Toronto. They also expected that she would do so withoutincurring financial debt. This expectation is consistent with immigrantparents’ ambitions to attain social mobility for themselves and/or theirchildren. To this end, Amy’s parents were prepared to put in place, to


the extent possible, the means by which Amy could realize theseambitions without a financial burden and in so doing maintain familypride (see Anisef, et al., 2000). Knowing this, or having internalizedthese ideas and values, it is understandable that Amy would wish toattend university without incurring a “large debt” through OSAP(Ontario Student Assistant Program); and was not prepared to rely onhandouts like the financial support the Bridging program offered.However, understanding and having accepted the value of a universityeducation, and recognizing that her parents could not afford tofinancially assist her, she did the pragmatic thing and used the Bridgingprogram as an opportunity. In this context, therefore, Amy (like theothers in the group) conceived of the program as a scholarship sheachieved because “she did pretty well” in school. Framing her support inthis way avoided the “terrible” stigma, embarrassment and loss of pridethat thinking of the program as financial support would have causedboth herself and her parents.

It seems that all three participants wanted to believe thatmeritocracy was at work and that they attained entry to university onmerit. This thought process was likely necessary for them to maintaintheir belief that they were not poor or bound by racial, ethnic, orgendered stereotypes, but were qualified and legitimate universitystudents fully capable of doing university work – something perceivedto be uncommon for access students (James, 1997). So going throughuniversity, they did everything they could to hide the reality of theirscholarships to their family and peers alike. In the case of Amy andJasmine, for instance, they wanted to convey the idea that they were notviolating the privacy of the family by reporting on the financial andsocial problems that they were experiencing. Maintaining theimpression that they were on a university scholarship was thought tocontribute to family pride, and helped re-enforce the belief among theirfamily members that they are “smart.” As Amy stated, “it just would benot good. I don’t think I’ll ever tell them. They just think that I’m smart.I am smart.” Moreover, being the oldest children in their respectivefamilies, they wanted to be, in Jasmine’s words, “a good role model” fortheir younger siblings.

In a similar way, when it came to their peers, particularly those atuniversity, participants kept their involvement in the Bridging programa private matter, rationalizing, as Jasmine did, that it is not that she isshamed or anything but that doing so would generate “questions afterquestions, and just to avoid all this confusion and curiosity, I kept it formyself. And I just say I have to go to a meeting. Sorry, I just don want


to talk about it. I tell them I not trying to be rude or anything I just donfeel like talking about it.” Jasmine’s comment represents the fact thatshe, like most of the participants in the program, was also trying toavoid giving her peers the impression that they were access students,hence avoiding the associated stereotypes, for example, having financialand academic problems (James & Mannette, 2000). Instead, it wasimportant for them, as Amy asserted, to make their university peersbelieve that they were scholarship students. Amy: From the very beginning I just thought well I don’t think my

troubles are that huge so it must have been because I had apretty good average and you know, only a few people know; butother people I just tell them it’s a scholarship and I got thisbecause I had good marks and I fit the description of what theywanted. And they always ask me, “Why do you go to meetings?Can I come?” [I reply] “Well, if you want.” … This one guy in my“Future of Work” class was so suspicious of this program. .... He’slike, “Wait, so who are those people?” ’Cause I would sit with ...like the scholarship group. And he would overhear us talking. ...And he kept asking me questions. And he’s like, “Well you get somuch money. What’s going on?”

L.: So what did you tell him?Amy: I don’t think I ever gave him an explanation, which is why he

was always like [questioning].This insistence of Amy, Jasmine, and Laura that they were scholarshipstudents is also a reflection of the ways in which gendered structuresand barriers have informed their experiences, and in turn, theassumptions and perceptions they held of themselves as women,particularly as daughters of immigrant parents who are struggling tomake it in Canadian society (see Elabor-Idemudia, 2005; Handa, 2003).For them, a university education, and most importantly one attainedthrough a scholarship, is more than a personal achievement, but is alsoevidence of their capacity to meet the challenges and transcend thegendered barriers (including stigma and lack of opportunities) theyfaced. For example, in thinking of her situation as a young woman witha dissolved marriage, and having a divorced mother with three childrento support, it was important for Jasmine to keep hidden the financialproblems they were having in order to prevent her family from beingviewed with suspicion and as failures by members of her ethniccommunity (Desai & Subramanian, 2003; Handa, 2003). Jasmineexplained that:


It’s a common thing if you’re alone as a female single mother. ...They think that the only way that a person could be supportedwas by being with her husband. ... If she leaves her husband dueto some personal reasons, they don’t care; but the rumourbecomes something else different, that “oh she won’t live to bewith someone that’s probably why.” Or “she basically lets herdaughter go with different people that’s how they try to get themoney … [and] support each other.”

Aware of these sentiments, Jasmine understood the pressure hermother was placing on her to work in order to be able to financiallysupport, and take some responsibility for the welfare and survival of,the family, Jasmine: There must be a lot of issues with her that she probably went

through. And I guess she thinks that she has a lot ofresponsibilities. And we’re female in a totally new country.So it’s basically like a survival thing and how we canaccomplish, you know, and overcome that. So it’s like abattle and how you’re going to survive … social expectations.A lot of issues. So she’s stressed about that. And me, I beingthe first one [daughter], there is a lot of stress on me fromher… on my studies.

In the face of family issues, stresses, and responsibilities, as well as thedemands of her part-time job, Jasmine remained focused on andcommitted to her education which was her way of exercising agency inbuilding up her family’s pride and status, and regaining lost respect;because she understood that in the end “it’s the prestige that matters”(see Handa, 2003).

However, despite Jasmine, Amy, and Laura’s seeming confidencethat their university education was going to pay off, and that they werejustified in keeping the truth about the program from their parents,they would often lapse into self-doubts, wondering if they werebetraying their parents by being in a program that required them todivulge family secrets. For this reason, they would try to rationalizethat it was appropriate for them not to tell their parents about theprogram, since it was because of their parents’ actions that they neededthe financial support that the Bridging program provided. Amy was themost articulate on this point. “It would be,” she said, “a betrayal to tellthem that you’re [her parents] the reason … why I got this money. You’rethe reason why I’m in this program. You’re the reason why I wrote aboutyou, and I let other people know. I let outsiders know. We’re a very


private family.” According to Amy, then, on the basis of maintaining theprivacy of her parents, at least to have them believe that is the case, itwas important not to tell her parents the truth, for to do so would be tobetray them and hence undermine their confidence and trust in her.

These self-doubts also surfaced as Amy, Jasmine, and Laura talkedabout what will happen after they graduate from university. Theywondered: will they get jobs and will they be appropriatelycompensated? While they tried to maintain that they were verycommitted to their education, they were at times fearful and uncertainabout the decisions they were making, especially in terms of thesignificant impact their decisions were having on their familyrelationships and sense of honesty. Therefore, seen as an investment,they seemed to look for assurances that they were doing the right thingin attending university. The following exchange represents Jasmine’sand Amy’s concerns: Jasmine: Sometimes I’m scared to make the wrong decisions and

regret it later. You know let’s say, for example … I got thisopportunity and I have a chance to finish my studies and it’sjust having a clash. Like I have to make a choice.

L.: Like between working and finishing your studies.Jasmine: Like it’s so scary sometimes because you don’t know what the

future looks like. And then you have to make a decision andit’s just going to turn and rip your dreams everything. Itcould backfire on you. ... I also found out that it’s not onlyyour education that they’re looking for. It’s also the workexperience, plus the education. It’s so hard. If you want to getup there, it’s just so much of ladders that you have to pass.It just feels like everything is a stepping stone when actuallyit’s a very long process. ... It’s very hard to find a steady job,especially a permanent job, these days. We have moreoutsourcing. Like people hire you like that, there are certainjobs where you are under contract which I am right now,and they take you as a temp. Basically the managementwhen they look at you, they just don’t want to pay more.

Amy: I’m just really disappointed that entry level positions onlypay like 30-50k. I mean I don’t want to sound like I’maiming too high or whatever, but how I’ve been going toschool for four years and I plan to be in school for howeverlong because I want to get another degree and I come out andthis is what I get.


These comments indicate that while these young women recognized thevalue of education and felt that they were academically capable, theystill, at times, questioned whether this was the right course of action asthey came to the realization that success was not necessarilyguaranteed.

Nonetheless, the stories of Amy, Jasmine, and Laura reflect acomplex set of relationships between their doubts, ambivalence, fearsand complicity with institutional demands against their parents’expectations and their own optimism, conviction, and sense ofaccomplishment. These latter sentiments were reflected in theirconstant references to the potential of their university education toenable them to take advantage of opportunities and distance themselvesfrom the problems, difficulties, and stereotypes they were experiencingat home. In other words, attending university was conceived as anescape route from their social class problems and gendered oppression.Notably, it provided both physical and mental escapes in that being atuniversity afforded them time away from their homes, family members,and communities, and nurtured their hope, ambitions, and convictionthat they were not limited by their class and gendered expectations andresponsibilities. Laura expressed this sense of optimism and hope bestwhen she said:

When I looked to my family for a positive role model I would seenone. All I could see was a factory worker or cleaning lady, andno one even graduated from high school, college, or university.Every time my file was reviewed for social assistance, thecaseworker would ask me questions such as “Where are yourparents?” “Are you pregnant or a single mother?” “Are you astreet kid?” These questions made me feel uncomfortable becauseI felt stereotyped. With a lot of hard work and common sense, Ihave not succumbed to the stereotypes of life on welfare and ofviolence. For now I think that I have fought and beat the odds ofbecoming a statistic because I had never spent a night on thestreet or became a young single mother.

It is escaping these stereotypes and fate that inspired these youngwomen to have a desire to be in university – a place away from theirworking class communities where, from their perspective, they couldacquire the necessary social and cultural capital. For as Laura put it, “Ijust want to be more cultured and knowledgeable for discussions withpeople to know what’s going on. To improve my English skills. ...and mywriting skills.” And in recognition of their likely role as mothers, Amynoted: “I’m going to teach my kids all these proper things,” and Laura


concurred: “I want to improve my future children’s chances of becominginfluential people in this society.” Paradoxically, while on the one hand,Amy and Laura wished not to be defined or circumscribed by theirgender, on the other, they seemed to accept that as women, they had toplan for when they become mothers. Accordingly, reflecting on their owncircumstances with their parents, they seemed to feel that they must actresponsibly and not only attend university, but acquire the necessaryknowledge and skills that are important for their future gender roles,

Conclusion: Weighing the Costs and Maintaining HopeThe stories from Amy, Jasmine, and Laura’s pursuit of higher educationindicate not only hopes and promises but also costs and tensions. Thepromise is that they were able to take advantage of the opportunity toattend university through the university access program (Bridging) andfulfill (at least in part or by perception) their desire to “do this on myown” without making it a “burden” on their immigrant parents whowere dealing with financial problems themselves. In this context, then,“doing it on their own” represents an accomplishment – evidence thatthey are “smart.” As Jasmine stated, “it’s just a treat when you get yourdegree, ‘oh look what I’ve achieved’.” Being in university also meant thatthey were able to remove themselves physically and mentally from theirrestrictive family and community situations (if only for a few hours ofthe day), and engage in learning that they felt would provide them thecultural capital and possibilities to meet the social, occupational, andfamilial challenges that they will have to confront in the future.

But the opportunities of which they were taking advantage, and theescape that university provided came at a cost. There were times of self-doubts and fears, as well as personal and familial struggles, tensionsand conflicts brought on by their decision to be part of a program thatrequired them to divulge private family information – something aboutwhich they agonized. Their agony came from the apparent deceptionand distance that seemed to emerge between themselves and theirparents as they became more educated. As well, they struggled withtheir feelings of obligation to be true to the cultural values andexpectations of their parents whom they appreciated and who, asimmigrants and minorities, had sacrificed and endured much hardshipin their move to establish themselves in this society. In dealing withthese tensions, they rationalized their decisions and behavioursreasoning that a university education is what their parents also wishedfor them, and that their education would not only benefit them, but also


their parents, their communities, and the children that they expect toparent in the future. So what does it matter, then, that they hadrepresented their presence in university as based on scholarship?Afterall, they had worked hard in high school and had the marks asevidence to show that they were “smart” and deserving of thescholarship. Furthermore, their educational accomplishments would, asthey saw it, restore family pride.

This logic of winning a scholarship because of their hard work,abilities, and good high school grades, was not merely devised for theirparents, but was also an important and valuable feature of these youngwomen’s interactions with their university peers. It was their way ofjustifying to their peers (who sometimes questioned their presence inuniversity or their involvement in the “special program”) that they werequalified, deserving, and legitimate university students. This logic alsoreflects their belief that the meritocratic system is working for them andthat what they are doing and will continue to do, is apply themselves totheir work. Such beliefs enable these young women to remain optimisticabout and confident in their abilities, skills, and hard work, and betterequip them to continue on a path that sometimes proves to be difficultand challenging. Without the hope and belief that success is possible,and that they could successfully exercise agency, they might not havemade it that far in university. Thus, although each of them was wellaware of the various boundaries they faced, not just at home but in theiruniversity classes with peers and professors, they continued to maintaintheir high hopes and aspirations,

It is important to give consideration to the gendered nature of theseyoung women’s behaviour and experiences (Weis, 2004; Wood, 2005). Inthe absence of a parallel analysis of males in a similar situation, we areunable to fully ascertain how similarly positioned male students mightunderstand and engage university. However, it seems likely that therationalizations of these participants, in part, are related to their statusas women in that their duties at home were in many ways related totheir roles as daughters with responsibilities to help to maintain thefamily honour and help realize the family’s social and economicambitions (see Handa, 2003; Weis, 2004). And as big sisters, as in thecases of both Jasmine and Amy, there was the responsibility to care fortheir ill mothers and their younger sisters and in the process act as rolemodels. These responsibilities made it difficult for these young womento leave home (an action they each wanted to take) when their familywas experiencing difficulties or when they wanted to “go it alone.” 3


Amy, Jasmine, and Laura’s stories reveal that despite the familial,cultural, social, and emotional costs and tensions of their universityeducation, they continued to believe that it provides importantopportunities and possibilities. And while the cultural, social, andfamilial structures that shape their lives seem inescapable, in that theyseemed to constantly return to the values and expectations of theirparents, they remained determined and committed to escape. As well,they remained hopeful that these structures will eventually shift. Inthis regard, they are holding on to the possibility and inevitability ofchange, while also believing that their own agency will help to createpossibilities – afterall, as they all explained, they got themselves intouniversity through hard work and determination, and believe that intime, with a foot firmly positioned in the door of opportunity, thestructures will inevitably transform enough for them to step throughentirely.

NOTES1. Aguiar borrows this idea from Karen Brodkin (1998) who was writingabout the position of Jews in the United Sates. 2. Participants were advised upon entering the program that Bridging theSolitude was also a research project, and that we would be documentingtheir experiences. To this end, they were asked to sign consent forms.3. Consistent with Teranishi’s argument (in Dixon & Rousseau, 2005) theprocess of hearing and documenting stories and narratives has the abilityto “empower” those whose voices are seldom heard and create opportunitiesfor them to “provide their own perspectives on their educationalexperiences” (p. 11). For instance, at the end of their participation in theBridging program, all three women continued to attend university and inthe degree programs in which they started. In our last communication,Jasmine told us that she has left home (against her mother and sisters’wishes) and now lives with relatives. Laura is now married with twochildren and, with the support of her husband and his family, is continuingwith her education. And Amy, who significantly relied on the program andits facilitators for support, has gained enough confidence to now live withfriends on a trial basis.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTSWe wish to express our appreciation to Dr. Ali Abdi for his assistance andsupport for this paper. Thanks also to Dr. Bob Drummond for his leadershipthroughout the research project.

A draft of this paper was presented at the international conference,Educating for Human Rights and Global Citizenship at the University ofAlberta in 2004.


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Authors Addresses:Carl E. JamesDepartment of Sociology2073 Vari HallYork UniversityToronto, ON CANADA M3J 1P3EMAIL: [email protected]

Leanne Taylor 502 - 28 Empress Ave.Toronto, ONCANADA M2N 3T3EMAIL: [email protected],ca