Changing The Story: A Road Map For Addressing Violence Against Women And Girls In Nigeria

1

www.abovewhispers.com

CHANGING THE STORY: A ROAD MAP FOR ADDRESSING

VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS IN NIGERIA

3RD INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE ON GENDER: STRENGTHENING POLICY

IMPLEMENTATION IN A CHANGING WORLD, UNIVERSITY OF BENIN

SEPTEMBER 5TH 2016.

BISI ADELEYE-FAYEMI

CO-FOUNDER, AFRICAN WOMEN’S DEVELOPMENT FUND AND PARTNER, AMANDLA

CONSULTING.

2


CHANGING THE STORY

Mabel.

Mabel is a 42 year old woman. She has a job she loves and is very good at. She is

respected by all her colleagues and peers. She has three adorable children, who

are all doing well in their respective schools. She is very active in her church, she

is a member of two professional associations and is considering a run for the

Presidency of one of these associations. Every day, wherever she is at 5pm, her

heart begins to beat a little bit faster. By 6pm when she starts to gather her

papers to head home, the heartbeats increase and her palms become sweaty. As

her driver moves slowly through the traffic on her way home, she does not pay

any attention to the usual noise and drama commuters encounter on their way

home after work. Her mind is fixed on home. She is not looking forward to going

home, but she has to go. She does not know what mood her husband will be in

tonight. Two nights ago he was unhappy with her because she informed him she

had to travel to a meeting in Abuja next week. He showed his displeasure by

choking her. She was let off lightly then. The week before, he kicked her hard in

the ribs. Maybe that is why the nagging pain in her side won’t go away. She found

herself hoping that whatever he did, it should not be her face this time. There is

only so much make-up can cover. Not my face, she kept thinking to herself. She

looked at the file on her lap, wondering if having to stay up late tonight to finish

writing would incur his wrath again. She had to finish this task, she had a ruling

tomorrow. Mabel is a High Court Judge.

Mama Joke

Iya Joke felt herself drifting in and out of consciousness. The smoke was beginning

to overwhelm her. She no longer heard the screams and shouts of all the young

men hovering over her, holding her still so that the smoke from the burning

leaves could permeate every pore in her body. A week ago, these young men had

dragged her from her house, accusing her of being a witch. A young relative in her

compound, who was like a son to her, had been ill for some time. All efforts to

3


heal him had been to no avail. She had even accompanied his mother to places

trying to help. Now she was being accused of poisoning him with her witchcraft.

She was taken to the King’s palace. The King and his chiefs took her into an inner

chamber in the palace, where she was given a strange concoction to drink. She

was told that if she did not confess to her witchcraft within seven days, the

concoction would kill her. She was then released and she went back home.

Eight days later, the young men came back. The concoction had not killed her,

which ought to have been proof of her innocence, yet they were convinced of her

guilt. They lit a fire and burnt the sacred Obo leaves, which were meant to

identify witches. Any witch who inhaled the smoke from the leaves would have to

confess. So here she was, being beaten and held down by a screaming horde of

over twenty young men, all yelling at her to confess her crimes of witchcraft. Then

it all went dark. She woke up on her bed in her house, and even though she could

see her surroundings, she could not move. She closed her eyes again. Or so she

thought. In the morning, her cousin discovered her body, lifeless on the bed. She

ran her hand over her face to close her eyes. She is at peace now, her cousin

thought to herself.

I could tell you more stories. Tales of women hurt, debased, bought and sold,

humiliated, starved of affection, and driven to madness. Women butchered,

burnt, beaten and tortured literally to death. The stories usually start the same

way and have the same ending. Women and girls who are born thinking they are

human beings entitled to a life of dignity and respect, to be loved and cared for by

their families and communities. And in the course of their lives, they find out a

very uncomfortable truth. They have less value than boys when they are young.

When they are older, they are disposable and transferable, from fathers who

value their sons over their daughters, to husbands who become their lord and

master. Almost every man they come across is superior. The boy they beat to

second position in class, the male student who got a B to their A and the male

colleague who got promoted in her place because the board determined on her

4


behalf that she needed to spend more time with her young children. These stories

cut across class, education and social standing.

Gender based violence is no respecter of age, class or education. Whilst education

and social standing might give women more choices, the huge burden of cultural

and societal expectations continues to wear women down into submission.

Experts on Violence against Women will tell you that there are three main forms

of Violence against Women:

Physical: Beatings, acid attacks, torture, kidnapping, trafficking, harmful

traditional practices such as dangerous widowhood rites, disinheritance, Female

Genital Mutilation, witch hunts, imposition of dress codes, forced seclusion, and

others.

Sexual: Rape, incest, indecent assault, sexual extortion and exploitation, marital

rape, child marriage, sexual slavery, forced prostitution, baby factories, virginity

testing, and ritual rape.

Psychological: Intimidation, sexual harassment, institutional discrimination,

neglect, verbal abuse, abandonment, stalking, cyber stalking and abuse, isolation

from friends and family, denial of livelihood opportunities, lack of voice in

decision making.

If a woman or girl has experienced any of these, it can be said that she is a victim

of violence. Conventional statistics put victims of one or a combination of these

forms of violence at 1 out of 3 women. Why should we care about Violence

against Women? We should care because it destroys women’s lives. It leaves

women scarred and scared for the rest of their lives. It erodes self-esteem and

confidence. It diminishes the capacity of women to fulfill their full potential. It

destroys families and communities. It affects our economy. It increases HIV/AIDS

rates, transmission of STDs, serious health conditions, commercial sex work and

numbers of people suffering from mental health disorders. Women who are

victims of violent sexual crimes are afraid to report for fear of stigma, blame and

5


rejection. As in many other parts of the world, when the cases are reported, it

takes so much effort to get a conviction, the process leaves the victims feeling

assaulted all over again. When there is no justice, they do not get closure and the

healing process takes so much longer.

For us to understand Violence against Women, we need an appreciation of the

structural and underlying causes which feed this menace from generation to

generation and which creates an almost unbreakable cycle of oppression. We all

grow up in societies firmly entrenched in patriarchal norms and values which

influence all the social, cultural, political, economic, educational and religious

institutions around which our lives are structured. It is these institutions, into

which we are all socialized, that determine the value and worth of women and

girls. As long as these institutions remain bastions of male dominance and control,

the empowerment of women will continue to be severely limited. Acts which

violate women and girls in public and private, are merely a symptom of the

effects of a culture that emphasizes the superiority of men over women and takes

women on a long journey of subjugation throughout their life-cycle.

The good news is that over the years, this cycle of oppression has been

challenged, and significant gains have been made. Thanks to the relentless

advocacy of generations of women’s rights activists and human rights advocates,

gender equality and women’s empowerment is no longer a strange concept.

Women are today better educated than they were in the past, they play key roles

in the formal and informal economy, they are more politically visible, and there

are many role models who have blazed trails and broken barriers for other

women. There are a respectable number of professional bodies and associations

created for and by women who seek to address some of the historical imbalances.

There are also several policies and laws in place at State and Federal level which

are meant to provide a basis for raising the status of women. At the global and

regional levels, it has been established that women’s human rights are universal,

inalienable, and indivisible, and that Governments at all levels have an obligation

to guarantee these rights.

6


However, in spite of all these gains and advancements, the status of women in

our communities remains a precarious one. Cultural, social and religious

institutions have not been transformed enough to provide women with the

dignity and respect they deserve. Gender based violence continues to rise, and

the inadequate investments in improving the livelihoods of women have led to

the feminization of poverty. With this has come the attendant consequences - an

overall diminished capacity for women and girls to achieve their full potential.

My submission therefore, is that if we are committed to ending, or at least

minimizing Violence against Women and Girls, we should be prepared to engage

in challenging and transforming all the institutions and processes which continue

to undermine the progress of women and girls, regardless of their age, class and

social standing. How can we give Mabel a different story? How does she get the

respect, self-esteem and confidence she needs to break away from her current

life of abuse, living in fear every day? Could we have changed Mama Joke’s fate?

Could we have saved her life? If any of these two women were standing before

you here today, what would you do for them to change their story?

Moving Forward

1. Address structural and underlying causes of violence against women

1.1: Institutions and communities

Institutions which predetermine the status and roles of women should be

redefined. Educational, religious, cultural and social spaces need to be sites

of empowerment and transformation, not tools for the abuse of women

Gender equality continues to remain a priority. Women’s economic

empowerment and their full and equal participation in public and political

life are vital for addressing the structural causes of violence against women

and girls.

7


We need to stop fuelling practices, beliefs and stereotypes that undermine

the physical and emotional well-being of women and girls.

All harmful traditional practices which minimize the personhood of women

should be avoided. Their time has past. Widow abuse, FGM, child marriage,

male preference, disinheritance of women and so on, are not compatible

with the doctrine of inalienable human rights.

Religious institutions should be places where women and girls are valued

and respected, and where their potential is not limited by manipulative

interpretations of religious texts.

We live in times when most of our cultural reference points have become

globalized. The films we watch, food we eat, music we listen and dance to,

the clothes we wear and what we read all have local and global contexts

and applications. In this globalized world, we have to deal with the good,

the bad and the ugly. At the center of all this is the representation of

women. In a world were women and girls are consistently over-sexualised,

this permeates our consciousness to the point of believing that women’s

bodies are available for sale, use and abuse. Musical lyrics, musical videos,

exhibitionism, endless beauty pageants, irresponsible use of social media,

questionable role models, celebration of mediocrity over substance, does

not provide an enabling environment for a culture of respect for women

and their bodies to thrive.

1.2: The role of families

Parents should raise their daughters with a healthy dose of self-respect and

self esteem

8


Girls and boys should be raised with an understanding of equal

responsibilities, obligations and mutual respect

Parents should reflect on the choice of schools for their children and be

sure they are making informed decisions. Learn to make the distinction

between discipline and abuse.

Parents, especially mothers, should be wary of how your daughters are

looked after in your absence. Listen to your daughter if she tells you about

inappropriate behavior and take action immediately.

People should think deeply about their choice of place of worship and the

implications for themselves and their children. If you are attending a place

of worship where you are told that your wife, sister, child, mother, and so

on, are behind your misfortunes, you need to worship elsewhere.

Families of victims should not accept the ‘Rape and Beg’ syndrome. It fuels

impunity and does not bring closure.

Young people should learn to be responsible for their actions and decisions.

It is good to be free, independent and adventurous, but not at the risk of

your safety or even life.

Boys and men need a new understanding and definition of masculinity. Our

societies need strong men who can be providers, carers and nurturers of

values that embody respect and accountability. There should be no place

for those who derive their power from the abuse, exploitation and

intimidation of women and girls.

The institution of marriage is a sacred one which binds two people together

in love, to live in peace and harmony, and to serve as a place where

9


subsequent generations can come into the world and be nurtured with

values which can build good character. Marriage between two people who

cherish and value each other, and who develop the capacity to weather

storms together, through the good times and the bad, is beautiful.

Marriage is not meant to be a dictatorship where one person is right all the

time and the other party has to obey blindly without question. Marriage is a

partnership which thrives on love, fear of God, mutual respect, trust and

commitment. It is a contract which is only binding for as long as both

parties are happy with the arrangement and return on emotional

investments they make. Parents, religious leaders, families, and friends

should STOP making marriage sound like an iron- gated prison for women

from which there is no escape, and which has to be endured till the day

they literally die from abuse.

2. Provision and implementation of strong legal and policy frameworks

As mentioned above, there have been some attempts made to address

violence against women in Nigeria, through the adoption of relevant laws

at federal and state level. However, implementation and enforcement of

these laws remains woefully inadequate, creating the basis for a pervasive

culture of impunity. We still have significant gaps and challenges, and we

should all be concerned about our lack of institutional capacity to enforce

laws and policies. Inadequate implementation frameworks, lack of reliable

data, lack of financial, technical, material and human resources, lack of

cohesion and coordination, insufficient analysis and research, lack of

continuity, and much more, make implementation extremely difficult. At

the minimum, we require:

Domestication of the Violence against Persons Prohibition Act of

2015

10


Domestication of the Child Rights Act by the States in Nigeria who

have not already done so. This is a priority in order to have

institutional mechanisms to protect young girls from various acts of

violence.

Domestication of the National Gender Policy of 2005 (Revised in

2015) by all States of the Federation.

Immediate passage of the Gender and Equal Opportunities Bill to

protect women, girls and other marginalized people from all forms of

discrimination

Implementation of existing laws against harmful traditional practices

such as Female Genital Mutilation and Widowhood practices

More women are needed at all levels of decision making, and the

quest for increased numbers should also be in tandem with the need

to have women committed to the goals of gender justice.

Relevant institutions such as government machineries, schools,

tertiary institutions, religious bodies, corporate entities and so on,

need to have Gender Policies to guide how women are treated and

socialized, with the goal of increasing and not decreasing

opportunities for women.

The Nigerian government needs to open up Sexual Offenders

Registers throughout the country to ensure that they can keep track

of sexual predators who have a history of acts of sexual violence

against women and girls.

11


3. Multi-sectoral and inter-agency services to respond to Violence Against

Women

A key challenge in the implementation of strategies to prevent violence against

women or to support and rehabilitate survivors, is the lack of inter-agency

collaboration and capacity. Without these, efforts to address this issue, no matter

how well meaning, will not be sustainable. The following issues should therefore

be addressed:

There is a need to scale up Inter-agency collaboration to provide

counselling, pyscho-social support, therapy and rehabilitative services for

survivors of gender based violence. We badly need competent health care

services, counselling and therapy facilities, well-resourced shelters and half-

way houses, and skilled personnel all working together with a common

goal.

There are many civil society organisations, women’s organisations, religious

and social groups and educational organisations, professional bodies and

unions, who have played a role in addressing violence against women in

various capacities. Their resourcefulness and dedication should be

applauded. There is however a need to work together to exchange

information and identify mutual strengths, gaps, overlaps and areas of

collaboration, to avoid working at cross purposes.

One of the greatest impediments to success in the desire to minimize acts

of violence against women is combating the culture of impunity. Our law

enforcement agencies and criminal justice system need to play a more

active role in this, because with things as they are now, chances of securing

convictions in cases of sexual assault are very slim. When cases fizzle out

due to a combination of lack of forensic evidence, lack of commitment on

the part of law enforcement, indifference of the judiciary and pressure

from the families and associates of suspects, this prevents other victims of

12


sexual assaults from coming forward, and leaves perpetrators with a feeling

of invincibility, paving the way for future attacks on other victims.

The agencies who are the first to deal with victims of sexual assault such as

the police and health care providers, should have the capacity to handle

cases with the utmost sensitivity, there should be appropriate tools to

collect forensic evidence such as Rape Kits, and those who have this

training need to be kept within the system for as long as is feasible.

We need to work closely with our traditional rulers and make them

partners in progress. Some traditional rulers are keen to uphold positive

cultural values and frown on acts of violence against citizens. They can be

encouraged to persuade their subjects to shun harmful traditional

practices. We should try as much as possible to seek allies amongst them.

There are also groups of female chiefs (both traditional and honorary) in

some of our communities who are seen as role models for other women

and who command respect. They too can be coopted to support our

community based advocacy efforts. The many women’s associations,

networks and age-grade unions should also make this part of their agenda.

The time has come for us to be our sister’s keeper and not the ones

mounting surveillance on other women, turning ourselves into foot soldiers

in the army of patriarchal oppression.

Our religious institutions have a vital role to play in supporting these issues.

It is very sad to note that some religious leaders perpetrate and perpetuate

acts of violence against women and children. We need all religious bodies

to take a firm stance against gender based violence, and work with their

congregations to provide the necessary support, in ways which do not

continue to endanger the lives of women and children.

13


There is a lot of work that needs to be done to draw in men as allies in the

efforts to address Gender based violence. The work of the UN Secretary

General’s Network of Men Leaders to end Violence against Women needs

to be replicated in all our communities.

All our best intentions will amount to nothing if communities do not own

the issue of violence against women and girls. We have to make the

necessary investments in sensitization and awareness raising to make

everyone a stakeholder in this issue. Every abused woman or girl is

someone’s mother, daughter, wife, sister, and friend. Communities,

especially in rural areas, should be sensitized to work with relevant bodies

on a range of intervention strategies such as mediation, counselling,

reporting incidents of abuse, legal literacy, aiding the criminal justice

system, and providing a strong support network for survivors of abuse.

Communities should not take laws into their hands, but they should be

prepared to support the implementation of laws and not obstruct justice

which is what happens in many instances.

The media has played a key role in addressing issues of violence against

women and girls, and many stories carried by various media institutions

have led to public outrage and action. However, there is still a lot of work

to be done with the media in this regard. Training and sensitisation on how

to report stories of violence and abuse, how to protect the identities of

survivors, and consistent follow-up to expose conspiracies and acts of

impunity is very important. Investigative journalism is becoming a dying art

in this country, and this is one of the ways in which the media can support

this agenda.

There is a lot of support that is required from philanthropic institutions

both public and private to address gender based violence, because the

government cannot do it all. Corporate funding in Nigeria to support

14


women’s rights work is negligible. There is a business case to be made for

the prevention of violence against women and girls. A trafficked and

abused girl will not grow up to become the senior executive who will be

able to afford the new car, state of the art equipment, house or other

things your company is selling.

The woman suffering from domestic violence will spend her money and

time in and out of hospital or church, and will not have resources for your

latest cell phone or refrigerator. The survivor of a violent sexual assault

who happens to be one of your most promising employees will become a

shadow of herself and all what you have invested in her training goes down

the drain. The Corporate Social Responsibility goals of corporate bodies

need to be revisited to allow for the inculcation of values and principles

that espouse gender equality and women’s empowerment.

If you can invest in reality shows, beauty pageants, musical concerts and

cooking competitions, you can afford to fund a rehabilitation center for

survivors of violence, you can fund training programs for agencies on the

issue and you can stop using the half- naked bodies of women to advertise

your products.

4. Improving the knowledge base

Another major challenge policy makers and practitioners have faced is the dearth

of reliable data on prevalence rates, reporting processes, convictions, referral

points and front line service providers. We need investments in the following:

More research and knowledge on all these issues in various communities

Training, capacity building and peer learning exchanges within and outside

the country to assess how others have addressed these issues

15


Support for the growing number of Gender and Women’s Studies programs

in Universities around the country

Conclusion

For this agenda of eradicating or at least, minimizing violence against women and

girls, we need one critical issue - strong political will. Without political will, we will

not see any traction on any of these proposals. Political will is what will determine

the level of financial, technical and material investments in eradicating gender

based violence. Political will leads by example and models the way for a culture of

impunity to end. Political will implies a decision to fulfil the social contract that

leaders have with their people – the guarantee of peace, economic

empowerment, social well-being and a life of dignity and respect in return for the

trust imposed in them by the people.

Between 2010 and October 2014, there was demonstrable political will in Ekiti

State for the empowerment of women and a culture of zero tolerance for

violence against women and girls. Ekiti State became the first state to

domesticate the National Gender Policy, the Gender Based Violence Prohibition

Law was signed in November 2011, the Family Court was established in 2012, a

Shelter and Rehabilitation Center for women was opened in 2013, and the Equal

Opportunities Law was signed in December 2013. In addition, the GBV Law made

provision for a Survivor’s Fund, which helped support over 150 survivors of

violence to rebuild their lives.

As we call for more political will to end violence against women, we should say,

Enough is Enough. How many more of us need to die? How many more need to

be kidnapped, raped, tortured, maimed and abused? For how long do we want to

continue blaming the victims? Back to changing the story. Sometimes what is

needed is a kind word, empathy, an intervention, courage and sacrifice.

Remember the statistics- 1 in 3. It could be you. It could be me.

16


Close your eyes. Remember all the women you know who have been victims of

one form of abuse or the other. Move your lips and say her name, not out loud,

but to yourself. If that woman is you, say your own name. Then let us say out loud

together, ‘You are a Survivor’.

Thank you.

Government & Nonprofit

Changing The Story: A Road Map For Addressing Violence Against Women And Girls In Nigeria