Advice on How to Tell the Kids You Have

Cancer

How do you really

tell your children that

one of the most

important people in

their lives has

cancer?

Give them the lowdown

This situation has a name and it's called cancer. Use the word "cancer" when

describing your illness. The amount of detail you give and the specific words

you use will depend on the age of your children. If you are talking to children

of different ages at the same time, speak in terms that the youngest one will

understand. You can always have additional conversations with the older

children if necessary.

Be honest

You may be tempted to downplay the seriousness of this

situation, but this could damage the trust you worked so

hard to build over the years. Throughout the entire

process, be honest, yet optimistic, which can actually bring

kids tremendous comfort.

Make no promises or guarantees about the

outcome

We all want to promise our children that we will never die. But

this is not realistic, nor is this a promise we can keep.

Cancer isn't contagious

You might be shocked to learn some of the myths your kids

had heard about cancer. Did Daddy catch it from someone?

Did he do something to cause the cancer? Since Daddy had

cancer, did that mean they were going to get it too? Set the

facts straight.

Good news travels fast - Bad news travels faster

It's important to let the parents of your children's friends and school

teachers know what's going on. You should also assume that any email

you send out, post you write on a personal blog or conversation you have

will be forwarded or repeated to the world. Let's face it... people are

concerned about you, so they talk about it. Just as with any story, all the

facts may not be repeated in a manner you approve. So, be careful what

you put out there. If there is news to share -- either positive or negative --

tell it to your children first.

Keep in mind that you don't have to tell your children

everything at once. If it appears that your child is not

coping well, get help. Many cancer centers and local

support groups have therapists on staff who can advise

you. Additionally, your pediatrician may be able to

recommend a child psychologist or family therapist who

has experience in helping children cope with cancer.

Remember, a diagnosis of cancer affects everyone in

the family. Your children may ask questions right

away or they may need time to digest what you've

told them. Let your children know you are there for

them. Reassure them of your love.

And move forward one step at a time.

For resources, financial assistance, knowledge and inspiration,

please visit

cancerhawk.com