Do not make assumptions, ask questions!

Anne-Cécile Graber @annececilegrbr "Thoughts on Organizational Management" - www.organizationalmanagment.blogspot.com

Do not make assumptions, ask questions!

Your assumptions may silence the voices of others.

http://www.organizationalmanagment.blogspot.com/


Introduction

• Are all assumptions dangerous?

• The dangers of Assumptions.

• Why do we assume things?

• How can we stop our assumptions for overcoming us?

• Reducing our assumptions will…




Are all assumptions dangerous?

• Not if we assume people to follow a set of rules defined by society*

– Driving rules

– Tango steps

– …

• Yes if we make assumptions based on people’s

– gender

– color

– sexual orientation

– political opinion

– …

They may lead you to several negative behavior

*Unfortunately some rules are discriminative and should be improved.





The dangers of Assumptions

Close minded reactions

Categorizing & labeling people

Refuting individuality

Discrimination

Lack or absence of creativity

Lack or absence of empathy

Lack or absence of connection

with others

Lack or absence of curiosity

Lack or absence of

understanding

Lack or absence of anticipation

What else would you add ?(write

a comment)


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Assumptions mislead you

• No one experiences the world with your perspective

– Some people are color blind

– What is high for you is maybe low to someone else.

– Mathematic is maybe your thing but it is not everyone's cup of tea.

• No one live in this world exactly like you

– Some people eat with different tools. It does not make them more or less educated. It is just another way of eating.

We are all a unique combination of genes, experiences and more.




“Assumptions are shortcuts in the mind” - Margherita from theCrystallotus.Com

The victim feels:

• Shut down

• Ignored

• Misunderstood

• Ignorant

• Upset

• Obliged to follow a path chosen for them

• …

The consequences for the relationship

• Dispute

• Separation

• Escalation of violence

• Dangerous behavior

• Exclusion

• …




Why do we assume things?

• Because it is easier to use shortcuts

• Because we are afraid not to know

• Because we feel unsecure about the world around us

• Because we fear the unknown

• Because we were told “This is true and this is wrong”

• Because we are afraid of the choices we may have to take if we do not assume



How can we stop our assumptions for overcoming us?

OUR AIM SHOULD BE TO REDUCE OUR ASSUMPTIONS TO TRULY CONNECT WITH THE PERSON IN FRONT OF US.



3 WAYS TO REDUCE OUR ASSUMPTIONS

1. Being Aware of our assumptions

2. Asking to clarify

3. Group Exercise



1. AWARENESS OF OUR ASSUMPTIONS

• Our assumptions make us believe that everyone share our perspective

• We should remember our uniqueness and its consequences; a myriad of perspectives.

• Assumptions is a “I am right and you are wrong” game.




2. ASKING QUESTIONS TO CLARIFY

No more assumptions

I need to understand

you, can you tell me more?

Could you explain me

your point of view?

Why did / would you do

that?

Ask questions that help you understand the person.



https://twitter.com/AnneCecileGrbr




3. USE GROUP EXERCISES

• Another way is to use the “The blind men and the elephant” - Conflict & Communication Workshop Exercise

http://organizationalmanagment.blogspot.de/2014/05/the-blind-men-and-elephant-conflict.html















REDUCING OUR ASSUMPTIONS WILL:

• Acknowledge the person existence and uniqueness

• Clarify our understanding of the person and situation

• Stop shaming people for ignoring what they “should know”

• Give back their voice to people

• Increase our decision power

• Give place and develop our emotional intelligence

• Better handle our emotions



WHEN IT COMES TO SOMEONE NEVER ASSUME ANYTHING.

However, we cannot live without assumptions, just learn to listen.


Leadership & Management

Do not make assumptions, ask questions!