Emotional Intelligence and Your Leadership

RoleJewel Daniels Radford

Communication

Defining Communication

…Skilled Communicators…Communicating Effectively

•Your best•Your worst

Emotional Intelligence

The ability to… Understand the needs and

feelings of oneself and other people

Manage one’s own feelings Respond to others in

appropriate ways

Emotional IntelligenceBarriers to Leadership

Insensitivity to others, abrasive, intimidating, bulling style

Cold, aloof, arrogant Betrayal of trust Over-managing – Failing to delegate, build a

team Overly ambitious – playing politics Failing to staff effectively Unable to think strategically Unable to adapt to boss with a different style

Emotional Intelligence

Why is EI / EQ Important? Knowledge and relationship are

the currency of the new economy

EQ links job and bottom line performance

Emotional Intelligence

EQ is the ability to recognize and understand “emotions” [yours and those of the people you interact with] and the skill to use that awareness to effectively manage yourself and your relationships with others!

EQ is a major indicator of achievement. it explains why individuals with similar intelligence can reach vastly different levels of success in their professional and personal lives.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

Self-Awareness—The Ability to Recognize Your Own Emotions as They Happen and Understand Your General Tendencies for Responding to Different People and Situations.

Social Awareness—Recognizing and Understanding the Emotions and Perspectives of Others.

Self-Management—Using the Awareness of Emotions to Chose What You Say and Do to Positively Direct Behavior.

Relationship Management—Using Awareness of Emotions and the Emotions of Others to Manager Interactions Successfully

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

SUCCESS STORIES

Emotional Intelligence

How Do You Achieve It?

Increasing Self Awareness: Learn to “step outside yourself! Watch and listen to your emotions and

responses carefully and consistently; Track tendencies in emotionally charged

situations and learn how your emotions are affected by different people and situations.

Understand what it is about the person or a situation that elicits your reaction/response.

How Do You Achieve It?

Self Management: Pause—take time to analyze and problem

solve before responding to significant challenges!

Learn to catch your emotions before they initiate!

Plan & prepare for difficult situations from what you’ve learned from self awareness.

Discipline yourself! learn to reshape & direct your reactions!

How Do You Achieve It?

Social Awareness: Empathize! “Tune-In”— Focus and Maximize Your

Powers of Observation on the Emotions, Actions and Reactions of Others.

Ask, Listen and Learn what Other People are Feeling.

Look into and Understand their Perspectives and Sensibilities.

Determine the Factors that Influence them Positively & Negatively

Success Steps Conduct a “personal inventory.” Analyze the setting & identify skills

needed. Enlist trusted friends. Focus on a few competencies. Practice, practice, practice. Be observant and reflective. Don’t expect immediate results. Learn from your mistakes. Acknowledge your successes.

EQ Development

Questions:

•Self-Awareness•Self-Management•Social Awareness •Relationship Management

Communication Barriers

• Experience• Emotions• Background• Attitudes• Culture• Subject Knowledge• Prejudice• Mood

• Wording• Education• Noise Level• Ambiguity• Perceptions• Non-verbal

messages• Hearing difficulties

Interpersonal Communication Skills

• Stay focused• Listen carefully• See things from other’s perspective• Take responsibility• Balance criticism with empathy• Seek compromise

• Step back• Stay committed• Watch the you & I • Seek help when

necessary• Reward and affirm• Understand and impact

Asking Questions

There are two kinds of questions:• Open • Closed

There are five ways to probe other people:• Ask an open question• Pause• Reflective or mirroring question• Paraphrasing • Summary question

Listening Skills

Active listening has three stages: • Non-verbal• Cues• Paraphrasing, clarifying, and

summarizing questions

Listening Skills

Time for a Quiz

Johari Windows Exercise

Open1

Partially Open

2Partially

Open3

Hidden4

Known to Others Not Known to Others

Known to Oneself

Not Known to Oneself

Frame of Reference

• Your frame of reference is made up of your beliefs, assumptions, values, feeling, judgments, emotions, advice, moods, thoughts, and stress levels.

• Is personal and deeply imbedded making it difficult to practice suspending it.

• When you are dealing with others, stop and look at things from their perspective.

• Cease judgment – attempt to walk in the shoes of others.

Five Approaches to Relationships

• Mystery-Mastery• Structural• Sympathy-Supportive• Empathy-Collaborative• Mutual-Confrontative

Focused Leadership Plan

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