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Communication
Understanding the most significant aspect in Communication
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Based on the research of: Adler, R., Rosenfeld, L. and Proctor, R. (2001) Interplay: the process of interpersonal communicating (8th edn), Fort Worth, TX: Harcourt.
Listening"The reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is that we may listen the more
and talk the less."(Zeno of Citium)
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Understanding Listening
• Is the absorption of the meanings of individual sounds (letters, stress, rhythm and pauses)sentences by the brain
• The active process of receiving and responding to spoken (and sometimes unspoken) messages.
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Listening
• One of the most important skill one can have
• Has major impact on:– Job effectiveness– Quality of Relationships
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Modes of Listening
1. Competitive or Combative Listening
2. Passive or Attentive listening
3. Active or Reflective Listening
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Modes of Listening
• Competitive or Combative Listening– Pretend to be listening but are actually
formulating next question or comment – people are: • More focused on how they will respond• Waiting to jump right in with their own argument,
opinion or thought• Usually do more talking than listening
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Modes of Listening
• Passive or Attentive listening– Genuinely interested in hearing and
understanding the other’s point of view– Will be attentive and polite– Stay passive– Rely on assumptions– Never verify
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Modes of Listening
• Active or Reflective Listening– Most useful & Important listening skill – Genuinely interested in understanding what the
other person is saying, thinking and feeling– Totally engrossed in what is being said– Verify what they hear by paraphrasing or restating
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Benefits of Active Listening
• Makes workers more productive. • Active Listening helps you to: – Improve Personal Relationships, – Reduce Misunderstandings & Conflicts, – Strengthen Cooperation and – Foster Understanding.
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We Listen:
• To obtain information
• To understand
• For enjoyment
• To learn
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• Research suggests that: –we remember between 25 percent and 50
percent of what we hear.
• What does it mean?
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Solution?
• Become a Better Listener
Or for some of us who are bad at it• Improve your Listening Skills!
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How?
• Practice Active Listening
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Active Listening
HOW?
• Conscious Process
• Therefore, Can be improved by Regular Practice
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Ten Golden TipsImprove Your Active Listening Skills with these
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Ten Golden Tips: 1
• Face the Speaker:
– Sit up straight or lean forward slightly to show your attentiveness through body language.
– Note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting
– Avoid nervous tricks: wringing hands, picking at your nails
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Ten Golden Tips: 2
• Maintain Eye Contact:
– but don’t stare– To the degree that you all remain comfortable
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Ten Golden Tips: 3
• Minimise External Distractions:
– Turn off the TV– Silent your Mobile– Putdown your magazine or book..etc
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Ten Golden Tips: 4
• Respond Appropriately:
– Show that you understand• Use sounds like: (“uh-huh” and “um-hmm”• Nod or raise your eyebrows • Use words such as as “Really,” “Interesting,” OR • Direct prompts like: “What did you do then?” and
“What did she say?”
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Ten Golden Tips: 5
• Focus solely on what the speaker is saying:
– Stop thinking or rehearsing what you are going to say next
– Conversation will follow a logical flow after the speaker makes his/her point
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Ten Golden Tips: 6
• Minimise internal Distractions:
– Could be emotional, psychological or physical • Feeling upset, negative thoughts, hungry..etc
– Learn to tune out distractions as you would in a Meditation
– re-focus your attention on the speaker
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Ten Golden Tips: 7
• Keep an Open Mind:
– Try not to make assumptions– Defer judgment – Wait the speaker to finish before deciding that you
disagree– When disagreeing with the speaker, write down the
objections rather than tuning out the presenter– Listen with empathy
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Ten Golden Tips: 8
• Avoid letting the speaker know how you handled a similar situation:
– Unless specifically asked for it– Assume they just need to talk it out – Suspend all positive or negative association of
your experience
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Ten Golden Tips: 9
• Wait until they finish to defend yourself:
– Don’t interrupt with counter arguments, even if a complaint against you is launched• Advantage?
– Prevents the tendency to repeat– Will know the whole argument before you respond
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Ten Golden Tips: 10
• Engage yourself: – Ask questions for clarification (once the speaker has
finished)– Eg: “What do you mean when you say…”
» “Is this what you mean…”
– Reflect what is being said by Paraphrasing– Eg: “so you were saying……”
» “What I am hearing is….”» “Sounds like you are saying…”
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Questions?
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• “The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.”
-Rachel Naomi Remen
