惜缘Paul Yang

A reader commented on my last post, The Spirit of Tango, “A ten minute tands is a radical response to the dehumanizing reality of modern day-to-day living. It is an opportunity for two humans to embrace each other in the promotion of humanity. Don’t let the precious opportunity slip away because your partner isn’t a good enough dancer, tall enough, young enough, old enough, attractive enough, friendly enough, …whatever enough. Every embrace has a story – dance with it.”

I pondered on the comment, because it reminded me of a Chinese motto “ 惜缘” .

惜缘 (pronouncing shee-yuan) means cherishing the luck by which people are brought together.

On the wall of my office is a script written in beautiful penmanship by a Chinese calligrapher: “Cherishing those who are brought to you by fate. They enrich your life. They ate the footprints of your destiny.”

It’s an unfamiliar philosophy in America where human connections are not as appreciated as in some other cultures like China and Argentina.

Many Americans value individualism, independence and personal freedom. They live alone, act alone, work alone, die alone, are fierce fighters for gun right, but quite ignorant in communal life and relationships, and they often let the opportunity of affinity with people slip away.

But life is not a solo-dance even for Robison Crusoe.

If you think about it, your life is defined by people surrounding you: parents who raise you, teachers who educate you, friends who stand by you, mentors who guide you, colleagues who work with you, assistants who help you, etc.

Fortune only brings a limited number of people into each person’s life. These are the precious resources granted to us by fate.

Those who cherish such resources can build great companies and achieve lofty goals. Those who don’t, their life tends to be lonely, friendless, and unfruitful.

What is true in life is true in tango also. In each city there are only limited people who dance tango.

These people, despite their differences, share something in common: their hunger for connecting with other people, their belief in love and fraternity, their nostalgia, romanticism, sentimentalism and life attitude…

Those who cherish each other form a great tango community. Those who tear down the bridge and build walls, their community suffers.

Unfortunately, that is often the reality in our tango. Many of us do not appreciate enough the lot that brings us together.

They are haughty and prejudicial.

They see others as rivals and are indifferent and cold towards others.

They turn a blind eye to those who want to dance with them, thinking they are not worthy – attractive enough, young enough, slender enough, tall enough, white enough, skillful enough, etc.

They remain detached and uninvolved in the dance, focusing on themselves rather than their partner.

And they form cliques and squeeze out competitions, etc.

Individualism is incompatible with tango. I hope we can learn from the philosophy of 惜缘 and cherish what brings us together as a community, because that is what makes tango fascinating.

Tango is not only a skill. It is a fellowship or community, an appreciation of other human beings, and a philosophy of regaining humanity through connection and cooperation.

Instead of trying to change tango, I think we should let tango change us and turn us into a better connected and cooperative people.

More on this at yangningyuan.blogpost.com.