The Middle Way

The Human Reality

While feminine energy is yin and

masculine energy is yang, it has nothing to do

with gender. Men can tend more towards yin

energy and women can tend more towards

yang energy, and vice versa.

Feminine (yin) Characteristics: Sensitive, Nurturing,

Slower Moving, Intuitive, Relaxed, Imaginative, Quiet,

Introverted

Masculine (yang) Characteristics: Excited, Rational,

Direct, Mental, Enthusiastic, Outgoing, Changeable, Logical

Building Healthy Relationships

Mix sand and water together and shake the container hard and

soon you will have a muddy substance, then set the container

down and let it rest while the sediment falls to the bottom and

water once again becomes clear.

To build, live, and experience relationships in the middle path

means releasing illusions of control, and living in harmony

with the natural energy flux of back and forth experienced in

all relationships.

You cannot force a square block into a round hole, and even a

round block must be of the appropriate diameter, but no

matter the shape and size, you can always pour water (clarity)

into it.

Relational Assumptions of Good Will

Good will is present and shared between partners.

Good will is an overall feeling of generosity toward

your partner.

Good will is the attitude, “I am on your side, no

matter what. I am your ally, not your adversary.”

Good will means you value your relationship far

more than whatever challenges generally arise.

You understand that love has nothing to do with

fairness. Love is love.

The more you give love away, the more you

receive.

10 Characteristics That Reflect Real Love

Selfless-even when there is a desire to be selfish.

Thoughtful-even when one is to busy.

Giving-in spirit and time (more valuable than money or

gifts)

Supportive – not jealous or envious

Understanding – not angry, even when passionately arguing

Forgiving – no one is perfect

Attentive – truly knowing your partner because of it

Reflective – always thinking about how to make the

relationship better

Respectful – in voice and actions, under any circumstance

Faithful – always. If you truly love, this isn’t difficult

Balanced Giving and Taking

Fairness & equality are the bedrock of

relationships and generally embrace a 50-50

proposition.

Both partners have to give and take equally to

feel good.

Works well as long as both partners agree and

show a spirit of good will.

However, when one partner feels mistreated and

unable to negotiate successfully, options

become exhausted.

Holding the Balance Between the Extremes

Maintaining Relational Balance

On one side is the amount you are giving to

your partner's needs and the relationship.

On the other side is the amount you are taking

for yourself to care for your needs in the

relationship.

What lies within your control is (1) how much

and how often you take care of your partner,

even if at your own expense, and (2) how much

and how often you take care of yourself, even

if at your partner's expense.

Relationship Stuck in the Extremes:

Steps to Depolarizing an Impasse

Give up being right and relax the urgency of your position.

Look for Win-Win outcomes.

Step into the other person's shoes.

Balance good will with self-care and reduce the odds of

reverting to the extremes of either giving in or insisting on

your own way.

Take care of your partner and make a decision to adapt to

your partner's needs... (selflessness) is an act of love.

Take care of your needs... (sacred selfishness) is an act of

love. “Be gentle with yourself. In the noisy confusion of

life, keep peace in your soul.” ~Max Ehrmannwards

David Grinstead, MA, CHtLife Coach / Career Coach / Spiritual Coach

Website: www.linkedin.com/in/livealife

Email: becomplete@live.com

Phone: 336-380-0203