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Changes in our relationship willimpact what we want and need fromthe relationship
Change is inevitable in life
Disagreements in a relationship are not only normal
It brings fear, anxiety, sadness, tension, anger , irritation, fight, violence
Emotional Impact brings Depression and Trauma
Relationship trauma isthe kind of emotionaland psychologicaltrauma that occurswithin the context ofrelationships
Relationships tend also to be where the effects of relationship trauma reemerge
Ways in which they reemerge are in being easily triggered, bringing old patterns into new
relationships (reenactment patterns)
Transferences in the family onto partners and children
Transferences onto friends
We have many difficulties in our relationship toregulate strong feelings such as fear, hostility,anger, rage, anxiety, sadness
When we feel we can’t do nothing to change the situation we’re in
We form a pattern of helplessness, weakness, defenselessness
We give up
When our relationships became unreliable
We experience a loss of trust and faith inrelationships and in life’s ability to repair andrenew itself
When we are hyper vigilant we carry a level of Anxiety
We scan our environment and relationships for signs of potential danger
We became easily triggered and hyper-reactive with others
The limbic system regulates mood
When we are deregulated in our emotional system we may have trouble regulating feelings such as anger, sadness and fear, all of which may
contribute to depression
When our family unit is spinning out of control, we will tell ourselves whatever is necessary to
allow ourselves to stay connected
This kind of reasoning can be immature and distorted
It also produces core beliefs about life and relationships upon which we build more distorted reasoning and that we live out
throughout our lives
The freezing response of our emotional restriction leads us to a loss of ability to take in
caring and support from others
Additionally, as mistrust grows, so does our willingness to accept love and support
We engaged in chronic high risk behaviors by trying to do a couple of things, to stimulating a
rush of feel good and to alter the mood
Some examples of high risk behaviors Speeding, sexual acting out, spending, fighting,
drugging…..
When we are consistently being wounded emotionally and are not able to address it openly and honestly, we develop mechanical defenses to
manage our fear and pain
Dissociation, denial, splitting, repression, minimization,
intellectualization, projection are some examples
Traumatic bonds in relationship between parent and child, couples, friends may be left to care for
each other
To love each other
Addictions A sort of self-administered medication
Drugs and alcohol, for the trauma survivor, can provide a way to quiet the mind and the body, to
control a turbulent, troubled inner world
The reenactment dynamic is one of the core features of how trauma from one generation gets
passed down through subsequent generations
We tend to recreate those circumstances in our lives that feel
unresolved and unconscious