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Display Ad Content Audit Bank Every Cent From Your Content By Tia Dobi For

Tia Dobi Portfolio Piece Content Evaluation Luxury Item Display Ads

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Page 1: Tia Dobi Portfolio Piece Content Evaluation Luxury Item Display Ads

Display Ad Content Audit Bank Every Cent From Your Content

By Tia Dobi For

Page 2: Tia Dobi Portfolio Piece Content Evaluation Luxury Item Display Ads

Introductory Letter

Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by [email protected]

Stony Creek Brands

Ad audit and Recommendations for higher ROI April 5, 2013 Tia Dobi, Intelligent Creative

Introduction

This report reflects a comprehensive review of these two display ads:

Nilson’s Amethyst Jewelry Amadeo’s Golden Wine Glass

To begin, let’s consider . . .

What kinds of advertising copy and illustrations get the best results in print?

Our goal is to find out: do our print ads reflect best direct response tactics used by Claude Hopkins, John Caples, Eugene Schwartz, David Ogilvy and others who’ve shown us through decades of repeat testing, what elements are responsible for

performance?

Copy testing isn’t infallible

Errors occur frequently in copy testing because there are so many variables that throw off results. Here are some possible

problems affecting test validity:

1. Differences in the publications used. 2. Differences in page locations in the publications used.

3. Variations in reading habits, inquiry mood, and buying activity at different times of the year. 4. Natural variations resulting simply from the law of averages.

5. Differences in the general interest in the product offered. This can well be the most important of the foregoing

variables. Furthermore, product interest may vary among different products in a line or for the same products at different times of the year.

What is certain is this: print is really the best writer’s challenge. Unlike television (which enjoys the optional components of

music, voice, product demonstration, fast-paced movement and more), pulling with print relies on solid writing. It’s about crafting language. Along with the right approach, it’s solely about writing. And the most challenging writing? Stories.

Up next… Make or Break? Appeal must-haves

Page 3: Tia Dobi Portfolio Piece Content Evaluation Luxury Item Display Ads

Make or Break? APPEAL must-haves

Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by [email protected]

At first blush, we want to scrutinize the core ROI appeal of our ads:

Angle – Do our ideas… Nature’s Most Regal Gem and Toast to Romeo and Juliet… strategically hit the user-centric mark and

form the golden-thread theme necessary to pull the reader through the headline to the order?

Your big idea must…. Hook the prospect’s interest…. Confirm her prejudices… Resonate with her emotions… Stimulate desires….

Articulate a large, social, unspoken belief… Deliver a promise… Be simple enough so that your prospect can re-communicate it to someone else from memory. An idea can be implicit or stated in the headline. Revisit the sales strategy.

In 2000, "A Diamond is Forever" was named by AdAge magazine as the best advertising slogan of the twentieth century…

example of a big idea.

Headline – Consider benefit-oriented headlines hooking the dominant emotion of the target prospect… written into your irresistible promise (idea).

Example: Headline: “"Say you'd marry her all over again with a diamond anniversary ring", "A one carat diamond is one in a million," and "Is two months' salary too much to spend for something that lasts forever?" [De Beers Diamonds]

Note: This is not to imply our ads should mimic that writing as headers come in many styles…. And it’s not that our headlines

are “wrong”; they simply do not follow best direct response practices. They may be used as photo captions or lead headers. Story Content Strength – Emotive, clear, compelling stories are hard as heck to write. Here we have the added components

of conveying a story about the artist that serves the prospect, and product features/benefits (sorely missing). The copy, too, should involve the prospect by giving ideas on how to use the product and/or profit from the benefit. In short, establish a

relationship between the audience and the benefit.

Here, our stories are a great start. Would it be possible to write with more allure, intrigue, intimacy? Absolutely. We want to

write in a way that makes our reader feel the product. Essentially, we want to delight and enchant the prospect with our writing. To bring the human connection into every interaction with customer…. We must romance the product.

Mini example….

Page 4: Tia Dobi Portfolio Piece Content Evaluation Luxury Item Display Ads

Make or Break? APPEAL must-haves

Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by [email protected]

PAINT A STRONGER PICTURE - - > >

The J. Peterman Company World-travel purveyors. Masters of storytelling. We have double-duty, however… artisan plus product story. A hybrid. Recommendations: Headline hooks into prospect’s dominant emotion… or curiosity. Write MANY. Rewrite stories so they take the prospect on an emotional journey that the prospect wants to be on. Add product details. Play up the exclusivity, and no two are made alike. (It’s buried) Write an exhaustive list of features/benefits… this is the mojo that may uncover a new idea or reader interest/solution that’s untapped in current copy. Writing conveys how the product benefits the buyer’s life (helping the artisan is not enough to sell off a page… and it’s recommended even that be said in a romantic way). Write to convey how the product feels to the touch and how it makes the buyer feel. Include product usages, i.e. Wineglasses… tell them to pack into their picnic basket (if appropriate!). Include dialogue. CREATE A SIGNATURE FORMULA FOR YOUR STORYTELLING << -- This is everything. J. Peterman establishes the storyteller…. We see that by their logo… there are a few approaches we can take.

Page 5: Tia Dobi Portfolio Piece Content Evaluation Luxury Item Display Ads

Make or Break? APPEAL must-haves

Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by [email protected]

Recommendation: Include the artist’s signature! More regal, more credibility, increases value image.

Page 6: Tia Dobi Portfolio Piece Content Evaluation Luxury Item Display Ads

25-Point Creative Evaluation Checklist

Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by [email protected]

25-Point Creative Evaluation Checklist

Advertising techniques that attract attention, create interest, arouse desire, and stimulate action.

Creative Development

Sculpted Gemstone

Jewelry of Brazil by Nilson

Amedeo’s

Golden Wine

Glass

1. Big Idea Golden thread theme runs throughout. Prospect: Did it make me gasp when I

saw it? Competitor: Do I wish I had thought of it myself? Is it unique? Does it fit the

strategy to perfection? Can it be used for 30 years? We need a better sales angle.

No

No

2. Core Buying Emotion Fundamental emotion that drives the sale. Stir… 1 core emotion.

Emphasize… 1 good idea. Tell… 1 captivating story. Direct your prospect to… 1 inevitable response!

No

No

3. Emotionally powerful headline with appealing benefit to reader Presents a prime benefit (from the reader’s POV) and a complete thought (with words your reader would

use).

No

No

COPY

Sculpted Gemstone

Jewelry of Brazil by Nilson

Amedeo’s

Golden Wine

Glass

4. Makes reader ‘feel’ product We’re selling a fantasy, not a necessity. Colorful and

descriptive language moves buyers to action. Current copy tells rather than shows. We need more persuasive copy to romance the prospect.

Yes/No

Yes/No

5. Offers benefits throughout Benefits connect the prospect’s emotion desires with your

product. Answers what’s in it for me? Picture the benefit clearly, simply, and as large as possible. Or offers curiosity… intrigue…

No

No

6. Features/Benefits Clear connection between features and benefits No

No

7. Concise and conversational Although copy is simplistic (good!)… could be improved. Yes/No

Yes/No

8. Scannable breaks Enticing subheads keep the copy in your ad powering forward.

Some people will only read subheads. The best subheads can be read in order to tell

your whole story.

No

No

Page 7: Tia Dobi Portfolio Piece Content Evaluation Luxury Item Display Ads

25-Point Creative Evaluation Checklist

Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by [email protected]

COPY

Sculpted Gemstone

Jewelry of Brazil

by Nilson

Amedeo’s

Golden Wine

Glass

9. Pass ‘out loud’ test How does the copy sound when you read it out loud? Do any

sections seem confusing or awkward? (The copy should sound as good as it reads.) Needs better transitions/storytelling.

No

No

10. Shows the reader where this fits into her world Mentions uses or occasions product

especially appropriate for?

No

No

11. Answers why prospect might want more than one

No

No

12. Product details main features and benefits summarized at the end No

No

13. Includes dialogue Yes No

14. Call-out quotes Either by artist, testimonial, or quotes recognizable person

(opportunity to put our welcome customer responses to use)

No

No

15. On brand We have such juicy brands… meaning/value needs to illuminated

Yes/No Yes/No

16. Differentiation Does the copy differentiate the product from the competition? (Will the product stand out in a crowd of look-alikes?)

No

No

GRAPHICS

Sculpted Gemstone

Jewelry of Brazil by Nilson

Amedeo’s

Golden Wine

Glass

17. Takes advantage of spokesperson’s attractiveness Artist look is relevant to the situation and matches people’s expectations.

No Yes

18. Distinct look “Put a face on the brand,” she said. “A strong brand should be hard to

copy.” Could be strengthened…

Yes/No Yes/No

19. Font usage makes sense Too many fonts; lose purple font (or use in a different way).

Some of the fonts match the brand. Could be better. Yes/No Yes/No

Page 8: Tia Dobi Portfolio Piece Content Evaluation Luxury Item Display Ads

25-Point Creative Evaluation Checklist

Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by [email protected]

CALL TO ACTION Sculpted Gemstone

Jewelry of Brazil by Nilson

Amedeo’s

Golden Wine

Glass

20. Easy to order

Yes Yes

21. Command language

Yes Yes

22. Highlight the end date “Hurry! Call today. This offer ends on March 15.”

No No

23. Risk reversal Guarantee

Yes Yes

READABILITY Sculpted Gemstone

Jewelry of Brazil by Nilson

Amedeo’s

Golden Wine

Glass

24. Black type on a white background for easy reading …

Yes Yes

25. Proofread

No No

Up next… In summary

Page 9: Tia Dobi Portfolio Piece Content Evaluation Luxury Item Display Ads

In summary

Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by [email protected]

In Summary

Is it the prestige?

The innocence? The elegance?

The simplicity? The unspoken sense of confidence?

Whatever it is, our prospects are looking for something to make them feel good.

Your ads needs to offer her a glimpse into what you can do for her… the ideas, the suggestions of value, (how our products will change her life)… with more product details and benefits… layout that distinguishes the brand…. maybe even graphics with

unusual illustrations … use sales angles and storytelling that resonate with her thought-sequence.

Recommendation: Complete rewrites

Use lyrical language. Create a signature style for your ad layout and content that, overtime, becomes immediately recognizable

from 20 paces (now’s the time—out of the gate!).

Terri, thank you for the opportunity to review your display ads and provide recommendations. I look forward to helping you making these ads winners.

Just let me know when and how you’d like me to proceed!

Sincerely,

Tia D. (310) 839-2468

[email protected]

Page 10: Tia Dobi Portfolio Piece Content Evaluation Luxury Item Display Ads

In summary

Display Ad Content Audit: Stony Creek Brands, LLC prepared by [email protected]

COMING ATTRACTIONS

DEAR SLIDESHARE READER, PLEASE DOWNLOAD THIS .PDF SO YOU CAN READ THE INSERTED YELLOW STICKY NOTES IN THE UPCOMING 2 ADS, THANK YOU. TIA DOBI

Page 11: Tia Dobi Portfolio Piece Content Evaluation Luxury Item Display Ads

One only needs to remember Shake-speare’s famous play to understand the role that family pride plays in the medi-eval city of Verona.

As we meander through the ancient streets of this town in Northern Italy, we quickly forget how much the rest of the world has changed since Shakespeare’s day.

At the Villa Gritta, we find ourselves in animated conversation with Valentino, a prominent son of the town committed to telling the story of Verona’s long commit-ment to the arts.

Before long, we are breaking bread with Valentino, his brother Roberto, and fa-ther Amedeo as they give us a private tour of their workshop. Side by side, the father and his two sons work long days bringing beauty to the world. The workshop has been in the family since the 1800s when it was opened by Amedeo’s great grandfather.

Sketches of nature, city scenes and fantasy

cover the walls. We begin discussing wine, and Roberto grabs a pencil and in a moment sketches a grape motif.

Then Amedeo asks us whether we’d like to see the design brought to life.

Roberto reaches for a glass platter, some stucco and a paint brush. We watch him painstakingly build up a textured design on the plate, layer upon layer. He does this free hand and we are astonished, since we can barely see the design in this mass of white.

But then, after the stucco has dried, we watch him take a new brush and with even more precision, apply the rich gold leaf.

Many hours later, the gold leaf is ready to take on color. Roberto paints layer upon layer of transparent glazes.

Of course, it is still not done! Roberto must buff and polish it until the luster is just right, and then he hands us the finished piece. MAGNIFICO!

“Now, how about bringing the grape design to a wine glass?”

Each magnificent wine glass is decorated uno alla volta®, one at a time®. No two are alike.

Own a piece of Verona. Enjoy the wine, and don’t forget to toast Verona’s most famous lovers!

Amadeo crafts only xxx wine glasses each month

Amedeo’s Golden Wine Glass $65 $49 eachPlus shipping and Handling

Call Now, supplies are limited!

1-800-625-1866Promotion Code: VER1301Or visit us at

Artisantable.com/VER1301

Take advantage of this very limited offer. We Guar-antee you will be delighted! Try it with no risk for 60 days. If you are not com-pletely satisfied, return it to us for a full refund (shipping charge not refundable).

A HANdCRAfTEd

Toast to Romeo and Juliet

dIRECT fROM VERONA

Artisan Table 242 Branford Rd. North Branford CT 06471. Copyright 2013. All rights reserve.

Tia
Sticky Note
Great idea...only who's Amadeo? Rec: Edit copy to clarify. All readers: are 1st-timers
Tia
Sticky Note
Ultimately... if you take my recs, the copy will increase & the real estate atop will decrease somewhat. Are all the ad buys same size?
Tia
Sticky Note
:-D Ah... if only all Americans automatically knew where/what Verona is... any copy that's confusing will stop reader in her trax. Edit.
Tia
Sticky Note
Rewrite header to be more user centric, WIIFM OR... depending on the creative approach... intriguing.
Tia
Sticky Note
Put the prospect in the picture - bring her into the copy with product usages, see herself using the product, some future benefit.
Tia
Sticky Note
What's the significance of bolded, purple lettering? Confusing.
Tia
Sticky Note
Poor transition. Rec: Copy rewrite.
Tia
Sticky Note
Never break a proper noun.
Tia
Sticky Note
Prominent son - poor word choice... overall, this writing is confusing and needs better structure and flow.
Tia
Sticky Note
Uno alla volta = needs more clarification. IF this needs to be a bigger part of the story then we need to bring it out.
Tia
Sticky Note
Perhaps... however by toasting Verona's most famous lovers we're taking our prospect OUT of the picture. Show how she'll be toasting her LOVE story. We want to BE Romeo & Juliet.
Tia
Sticky Note
I'm confused. He already asked if we wanted to see it come to life... so we're doubling up in a way & we have more important things to do with our real estate.
Tia
Sticky Note
ALL CAPS isn't regal.
Tia
Sticky Note
Where's our value proposition, tagline, or positioning statement?
Tia
Sticky Note
Use © Also proofread these ads: reserve should be reserved (mute point for copy, use ©)
Tia
Sticky Note
Oh noooo... rewrite for exclusivity angle. We're not selling supplies!
Tia
Sticky Note
Put a time/day stamp on the limited offer. Make it as specific as you possible can. This is why we need to make the writing more direct response centric - we're going for the buy right now in the ad.
Tia
Sticky Note
Do processes sell? If so.... this needs to be rewritten... I was lost. He made leafs first in white stucco? Sounds intriguing but I had to reread it a few times to GET THAT. I got the stucco... just not that the stucco is designed as a leaf.
Tia
Sticky Note
Never use words like "Pain" or "difficult" or "committed"... they're harsh and effect our central nervous system. Rewrite.
Tia
Sticky Note
Ad needs product description - how many oz does this glass hold for instance? Is it dishwasher safe? Features/benefits rule. (I'm not saying to use those words... it's an example of exhaust all those features/benefits first. then choose a few appropriate for the brand experience that matter to the buyer) Leave nothing to the imagination!
Tia
Sticky Note
"Try it with no risk" Copy rewrite.
Tia
Sticky Note
Will someone please pick up the glass in her hand and tell me how it feels? Smooth as silk... the wine? No this glass.... sometimes people are afraid of cutting their hands on these types of pieces... or their lips.. how much do they weigh? Show show show the experience thru words.
Page 12: Tia Dobi Portfolio Piece Content Evaluation Luxury Item Display Ads

A decade ago, my friend and neighbor Suzy was making frequent business trips to South America. There, her life took an unexpected turn and she fell in love... quite literally.

As Suzy and her Brazilian born husband Ed were wandering through one of the most impoverished areas of Rio de Janiero, serendipity led them to Nilson, a young artist who had dropped out of school at 15 to support his family.

Awed as much by Nilson’s humble soul as by the beauty of his work, Suzy and Ed placed a small order for their gallery in Connecticut. Nilson, marveling at his good fortune, used every centavo of profit to buy much needed milk for the children at the local orphanage.

Suzy introduced Uno Alla Volta to Nilson in 2011. Our customers fell in love — with the beauty of the natural amethyst crys-tals, with Nilson's organic designs, and with Nilson himself.

Today, Nilson employs all of his family and as well as some of his neighbors. And he is able to give to his daughter the education he never had.

Under Ed’s tutelage, Nilson is also invest-ing in his business so that he can raise more of his neighbors from poverty with meaningful employment. He is also hop-ing one day he can buy a cow for the local orphanage, ensuring their milk supply for the long term.

Each piece of jewelry is unique — no two are ever exactly alike. JJust as Mother nature creates each crystal, Nilson crafts each sculp-tural setting, one at a time.

Nilson shapes each piece from brass for

its strength and durability, plates it in glistening chrome, and then searches for just the right stone to fit each setting.

Adorn yourself or one you love in majes-tic beauty and shape the life of Nilson, his family and neighbors.

Call Now, supplies are limited!1-800-625-1866Promotion Code: NIL1301Or visit us at unoallavolta.com/NIL1301

Take advantage of this very limited of-fer. We Guarantee you will be delighted! Try it with no risk for 60 days. If you are not completely satisfied, return it to us for a full refund (shipping charges not included).

Nilson crafts only 250 necklaces each month

Uno Alla Volta and One at a Time, are registered service marks of UnoAlla Volta LLC. 242 Branford Rd. North Branford CT 06471. Copyright 2013. All rights reserved.

AmethystCollar Necklace: $180 $128Cuff Bracelet: $138 $98Adjustable Ring: $80 $58Plus shipping and Handling

CERTIFICATE of AUTHENTICITY included.

One Artisan Nature's Most Regal Gem

A STUNNINg JEwELRy COLLECTION

Nilson, on the left, working on a piece of jewelry

Amethyst

` Symbolizes royalty, piety, humility,

sincerity, and spiritual wisdom.

` Adorns many a monarch’s crown.

` Thought to focus energy and is used

in meditation and healing.

` Found in abundance in Brazil

not far from Nilson’s home.

FPO

Tia
Sticky Note
Too many ideas or sentences that don't instantly connect in a headline space can be uber confusing. We have other headline style choices we can discuss if we decide to work together on copy improvements.
Tia
Sticky Note
Who the heck is Nilson? :-D I just got here! Luv the idea behind this.... execution could be improved with copy tweaking and/or placement.
Tia
Sticky Note
Well... we almost hate to admit it but attractiveness in photos builds instant credibility and helps further the sale. Are there other options to illustrate the story?
Tia
Sticky Note
Is Suzy enrapturing for our audience? Is there context here? Not sure there is... overall the story seems fragmented. Hmmm... gemstones at Nison's feet in the most impoverished areas of Rio de Janiero? That sounds interesting....
Tia
Sticky Note
Photo = seems murky. May not jazz our readers.
Tia
Sticky Note
Depending on the approach (as more copy could help sell product right off the page)... the photo real estate may lesson a little.
Tia
Sticky Note
Too many ideas - 1) One Artisan (what is that?) 2) Nature's Most Regal Gem and 3) A stunning jewelry collection. However... copy must make good on the promise of the headline... headlines need to be easy to understand. Then the copy goes into a story about the artist not about Nature's Most Regal Gem. ONE IDEA = sales.
Tia
Sticky Note
Somewhere in our conversations I heard these 2 products are = bestsellers. However, I don't see that in this copy. Or... does best seller take away from the Limited aspect or is the price reduction a limited offer?
Tia
Sticky Note
Is this Nature's most regal gem? Why do I care... show me. Lots of elements here in this an and they seem a bit fragmented. Will I feel like a king? More at ease? Why do I care that the gem is found in abundance in Brazil not far from Nilson's home? (All of this COULD be exciting... )
Tia
Sticky Note
JJust = proofread
Tia
Sticky Note
Ooooo... certificate is cool. Tell me more! Show me.
Tia
Sticky Note
Exclusive limited edition
Tia
Sticky Note
At this price, why not order one for yourself and your dearest friend? She'll love you for it... and so will Nilson, his family and friends. And if you decide to keep them both... we won't tell. I would still edit that ... the key is never OR rather AND. :-D We want to sell more, not less.
Tia
Sticky Note
I know this is a true story and Suzy was awed... I'm wondering if this might sound contrived.. even tho we don't mean it to be. Rec: rewrite.
Tia
Sticky Note
Why? Why did our customers fall in love with Nilson himself. Specificity sells!!
Tia
Sticky Note
These are highly unusual - we need an approach in the copy that capitalises on that.
Tia
Sticky Note
Wear these gems with no obligation. ( What to say: Risk Free. How to say it: Let the copywriter write it :-D)
Tia
Sticky Note
Be sure and use a headline that makes sense to the reader. (These 3 lines are confusing... alone or together :-D)