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For many, life is good. For many others, it is not. We live in our own realities. But the fact is, as Guy de Maupassant wrote in his 1883 novel A Woman’s Life, “Life is never as good or as bad as one thinks.”
“I think, therefore I am.” (Discourse on the Method by Rene Descartes) In order to think there must be a thinking entity, the self. Human cognition is biased by personal experience, thus tends to be partial and rabid. Truth often lies in between two opposite views.
For this reason, Confucius argues that the gentlemen’s approach to life is to take a mean course, or to meet in the middle,
Meeting in the middle is not only a method of thinking or approach to life. It is also a civilized way to resolve a conflict.
Opposite parties insisting on having their own ways can be stalled, unable to reach an agreement. But if they are willing to meet in the middle, they become less divided and more united.
A compromised deal may not be as good as either party would like, but it is a common ground for them to move forward.
In fact, that is how nature works. The black tulip does not come from the original parent plants overnight, but through a series of small improvements or compromises over generations, as Alexandre Dumas wrote in his 1850 novel The Black Tulip.
Politicians often fight for a one-time deal. In actuality progress is a process. You move an inch through a compromise, then move another inch through another compromise. You probably will not get all you want. But everyone will be better off if they all agree to move forward by meeting in the middle.
The result is something better, the black tulip. Aristotle said, “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” When individual parts are united, it creates a total effect that is greater than the sum of the individual effects. You can easily break individual sticks, but you cannot break them if they are tied together.
Logically, the whole is the sufficient condition of its part, but the reverse is not true.
In other words, what is good for the society benefits all, but what is good for an individual does not necessarily benefit the society.
Individualism is erroneous as a methodology. It is also antidemocratic as an ideology, because it acts in accordance with the law of the jungle.
Those who insist on having their own way and refuse to take the concerns of others into account are tyrants. A democracy formed by such individuals does not work, as proven by the increasing uninhibitedness, uncooperativeness, hostility, polarization, inequality, aggression and lawlessness in American society.
If we still hold “all men are created equal” to be a self-evident truth, if we still believe that a united, cooperative and harmonious society is to the best interests of all its citizens, if we still need each other, and if we do not want to be disregarded by others, then we must take others into account and not insist on having our own way.
A democracy is government by people, not strong individuals. It is based on the cooperation of the people, not on antagonism and sabotage. It aims at the balance, harmony and well-being of all, not the self-interests of a few. It follows the Golden Rule, not law of the jungle. It requires us to resolve conflicts through compromise, not gun and force. A democracy must educate its people on its principles.
If we believe these to be true, then meeting in the middle is the sensible, practical and civil attitude we must have in our approach to each other, the approach of tango. I must add, right now we are not doing well in our politics, and in our dance.
