Build Self-Esteem

Part 1- What is self-esteem?

Part 3- 12 steps to grow your self-esteem

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Part 2- How to measure self-esteem?

Part 4- How to build children's self-esteem?

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2Part 1- Definition of self-esteem

* Self-worth

* Our confidence in our ability to think and cope with our life challenges

* Confidence in our right to be happy and successful

* A feeling that we are deserving, entitled to assert our needs and desires

Synonyms of self-esteem: self-worth, self-regard, self-respect, self-integrity, "amour propre"

3Part 1- Definition of self-esteem

* Abraham Maslow's pyramid model states that psychological health is not possible unless the essential core of the person is fundamentally accepted, loved and respected by others and by her or his self.

* Self-esteem allows people to face life with more confidence, benevolence and optimism, and thus easily reach their goals and self-actualize.

More about Maslow in the context of Positive Psychology, click on the

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* Established the construct of self-esteem. William James, late 19th century in “Principles of Psychology”

* Influence of Behaviorism minimized introspective study of mental processes, emotions and feelings - 20th century

* Phenomenology and humanistic psychotherapy made self-esteem gain prominence again, and it took a central role in personal self-actualization and disorders' treatment - Mid 20th cent.

* Unconditional acceptance and self-acceptance as the best way to improve self-esteem. Carl Rogers

* Self-esteem is a collection of the individual's attitudes toward himself, the evaluative perception of oneself. Robert Burns

Part 1- Definition of self esteem

Self-esteem in history

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* Heavy self-criticism and dissatisfaction.* Hypersensitivity to criticism with resentmentagainst critics and feelings of being attacked.

* Chronic indecision and an exaggerated fear of mistakes.* Excessive will to please and unwillingness to displease.* Perfectionism, which can lead to frustration when perfection is not achieved.

* Neurotic guilt, dwelling on past mistakes.* Floating hostility and general defensiveness and irritability without any proximate cause.* Pessimism and a general negative outlook.

Symptoms of low self-esteem

Part 2- Measuring self-esteem

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* like to meet new people.

* Not worried about how others will judge you.

* Have the courage to express themselves.

* Living a live enriched with each new encounter.

Recognizing high self-esteem

Part 2- Measuring self-esteem

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Rosenberg (1965) Heatherton & Polivy (1991)

Part 2- Measuring self-esteem

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Rosenberg (1965) Heatherton & Polivy (1991)

1. I feel confident about my abilities.2. I am worried about whether I am regarded as a success or failure.3. I feel satisfied with the way my body looks right now.4. I feel frustrated or rattled about my performance.5. I feel that I am having trouble understanding things that I read.6. I feel that others respect and admire me.7. I am dissatisfied with my weight.8. I feel self-conscious.9. I feel as smart as others.10. I feel displeased with myself.

11. I feel good about myself.12. I am pleased with my appearance right now.13. I am worried about what other people think of me.14. I feel confident that I understand things.15. I feel inferior to others at this moment.16. I feel unattractive.17. I feel concerned about the impression I am making.18. I feel that I have less scholastic ability right now than others.19. I feel like I’m not doing well.20. I am worried about looking foolish.

Not At All A Little Bit Somewhat Very Much Extremely

Part 2- Measuring self-esteem

9Part 3- 12 steps to grow your self-esteem

* Step 1: Forgive & forget your past mistakes.

* Step 2: Focus on your positive emotions.

* Step 3: Follow the example of successful people.

* Step 4: Become a self talker, improve your assertiveness

* Step : Exhibit a good attitude, manage your stress level (learning module)

* Step 6: Get plenty of sleep (learning module)

10Part 3- 12 steps to grow your self-esteem

Continued:

* Step 7: Make your work skills your own

* Step 8: Practice your talents

* Step 9: Become physically fit.

* Step 10: Learn new things.

* Step 11: Improve your personal relationships

* Step 12: Dress well!

11Part 4- Building children's self-esteem

* How much the child feels wanted, appreciated and loved

* How your child sees himself, often built from what parents and those close say

* His or her sense of achievement

* How the child relates to others

Source: http://www.more-selfesteem.com/

13Part 4- Building children's self-esteem

7. Show your child there is a way they can control their feelings.

8. Teach your child to set goals, follow through and complete projects: small and short in the beginning and then get more involved. Each positive event in your child's life is building a more positive self-esteem

9. Remind your child to think positive thoughts by putting notes around the house with smiley faces drawn on them.

10. Say "I love you" and mean it, everyday. Children need to hear it often, especially when it seems like they don't deserve it.

11. Positive Word Exercise. How do you want your child to feel? Happy, confident, calm, peaceful, smart, hard-working, cooperative, etc. Cut pieces of colored paper and write each word on a separate piece and then put up around the house or the child's room.

12Part 4- Building children's self-esteem

1. The higher the parents self-esteem, the morepositive the child's will be. Be a good role model.

2. Honest praise is the quickest way to build a person'sself-esteem. Find ways to praise your child every day.

3. Focus on the positive aspects of your child's behavior.Even if you don't like some of the behavior, findsomething positive to focus on.

4. Put a picture of your child with family members next to your child's bed. This is a subtle reminder to your child that he/she has family support and they are not alone in the world.

5. Communicate with your child. That means listening to how your child feels without making judgments about those feelings.

6. Keep criticism to a minimum. Criticism does not produce positive behavior. Praise does.

14Part 4- Building children's self-esteem

12. Teach your child to say and do good deeds. It builds good character and produces positive feelings within the child.

13. When your child is feeling down, help your child write aletter to a make believe child who is having a bad day also.Let your child give the other child advice on how to feel good.

14. Teach your child anger control. Building self-control can be a major source of pride for your child.

15. Once a day, have your child stand in front of a mirror, smile and give herself/himself a big hug and say "I love you.

16. Have your child write a name poem and then post it where it can be seen often. A name poem starts with "I am" and then under it go his/her name, one letter per line, and finishing with the last name.

15Part 4- Building children's self-esteem

Dr Katherine Ferdenzy, NHS Choice Video

Applying the learning from this module& boost your self-esteem:

* Self-esteem comes from every experience of your life.

* How you view yourself affects everything you do in life.

* High self-esteem gives you a good feeling about yourself.

* Low self-esteem distorts your view of yourself.

* Self-esteem can be taught and self-improved!

16In summary

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* wikipedia.com

* Branden, N. The psychology of self-esteem: a revolutionary approach to self-understanding that launched a new era in modern psychology. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2001* Burke, C. (2008)"Self-esteem: Why?; Why not?", 2008* Lerner, B "Self-Esteem and Excellence: The Choice and the Paradox", 1985.* Brown, D. Children's Self-Esteem and Parental Influence, Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association, 2011.* Baumeister, R., Campbell, J, Vohs K. and K. 2005. "Exploding the Self-Esteem Myth".Scientific American

* www.advancedlifeskillscentre.com* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosenberg_self-esteem_scale* kidshealth.org * www.psychologytoday.com/basics/self-esteem* www.self-esteem-nase.org* www.pickthebrain.com/.../10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence* www.selfesteem.org

Sources and References 17

Slide transcripts 18

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