ETFO Social Justice and Equity Conference for Male Educators Keynote. Friday Mar 27

THE LADDER OF MANHOOD

Jeff PereraCommunity Engagement Manager

[email protected]: @jeffperera

white ribbon

Conversations we need to have

with men, young men

and boys

whiteribbon.ca

whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon

Key to Success?Idea of Self

Ideas of who we can

or can’t be.

Explore through the lens of Gender

“If we want to create safe learning

environments, we need to take a hard look at how power disparities influence who

feels safe and who doesn’t – and how we can challenge those power disparities as

educators, parents, colleagues, fellow students, and fellow human beings.

- Steph Guthrie

whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca

Group Agreement

@WhiteRibbon@JeffPerera

Questions Not

Answers

What is your

dream?

How does your

Gender impact your

dream?


www.whiteribbon.ca@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera

Who are you in

this picture?


whiteribbon.ca

“Good teams have good players. Great teams have great teammates.”

- Roy Rana

Reality

For

Women

And

Girls


More than 1000 Aboriginal Women have been murdered, are missing or feared dead...



“Being a woman or girl online, is like being in a dark alley”

– Ramona Pringle

By the age of 12, 1 in 4 girls will

experience street

harassment in the form of unwanted

attention in public.

By the age of 19 that number is

nearly 90 percent.

From ‘Street Harassment: Every Women’s War” by Ebony Magazine’s Kristin Braswell


Role and Responsibility vs.

‘Blame and Shame’


whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca






@jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.caLabels

What does it mean to be a girl?


Courageous vs. Conscientiousness


Sugar and Spice:What a girl ‘can and can’t be’





What does it mean to be a boy?



ToughAggressive

Not EmotionalSmart

Keep in inside

StrongKnows all about Sex

“Be A Man”In control

Can take itTake charge

Capable

HardPush people around

Don’t back downDon’t Cry

Emotional, Soft, Weak, Have feelings, Vulnerable,

Cry, Need help, Expressive, Passive …feminine.


The Ladder of Manhood





Gender

What do you like or dislike

about identifying as a

specific gender?

white ribbon



Boys

What do you like or not like about being a boy?




Identity

@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera

Growing Up: Ascent or

Descent into

Manhood?



Created Ideas of Manhood

DOWN HAPPY EXCITED DEPRESSED LOVING TENDER RELIEVED PERKY FRIGHTENED OPTIMISTIC DOWN

SYMPATHETIC FASCINATED JOYFULANXIOUS DEJECTED SOFT LOVING

RESENTFUL VITALITY HOPE PATIENT CHEERFUL FEAR CONFIDENCE SHAME

HAPPY PANIC ASTONISHED TRUST ASHAMED ENVY APPRECIATION

ELATION OFFENDED DETERMINED


Men and Mental Health



Men with disabilities

Avatar’s Jake Sully

‘damaged goods’ ‘not beautiful’


What does

‘being a man’

look like

for students

in their school,

in their community?

white ribbon

The Performance of Masculinity


http://vimeo.com/421534

http://vimeo.com/421534



whiteribbon.ca#WhatMakesAManUTSC @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon



The Greatest Insult


LA Lakers rookies Tarik Black and Jordan Clarkson with fake baby.

(They have to wear pink

backpacks and push the strollers

to games all season)



...are a big part of the problem.




www.whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon

Power and Privilege



whiteribbon.ca#WhatMakesAManUTSC @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon


Pretending


Domination.

Not having power only heightens masculine insecurities.

If manhood is about power and control, not being powerful means you are not a man.

Again, violence becomes a means to prove otherwise to yourself

and others”

-Michael Kaufman

code of the boardroom

@jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca

superhero zero


…to have and to holddoes not mean

to have and hold down

- Lishai Peel






Women and Girls as rungs


In a hyper masculine world, you see people as tools. Now I see them as family.

- Terry Crews


Ideas of Gender enforced by society



“Homophobia and Transphobia

isViolence Against

Women”



violence





This issue affects us all

“It’s an important moment for mento look at themselves and decide

who they want to be in this world.”

- Hannah Markham


B L U E P R I N T S F O R C H A N G E

Inspiring male-identified

brothers, fathers, sons,

husbands, co-workers. friends

and romantic partners to

embrace how they can

be a part of change.

White Ribbon is the world’s

largest grassroots effort

engaging men and boys

to redefine masculinity and

help end gender-based

violence.


19911993200020052007+

Growth of the WRC


“Always have a dream that will last beyond

your lifetime”Jack Layton

co-founder of the White Ribbon Campaign

Wearing a White Ribbon is a personal pledge to never

commit, condone or remain silent about violence against

women and girls.

Wearing a white ribbon is a way of saying, “Our future

has no violence against women.”

StrengthBased Approach

to Engaging Men

www.whiteribbon.ca

Engaging Boys and Men in

Ending Violence Against

Women – A Life Cycle

Approach

White Ribbon Campaign

University & College Students

Facilitators of WR Clubs

Mentors and role models

WRC campus & community

organizers

Peer educators, engaged

bystanders

High School Students

(grades 9-12)

White Ribbon Clubs

Common Ground Conferences (with Boys &

Girls) Youth Education and Action Kit

Peer & Near Peer Educators

Elementary Students

(grades 7-8)

Boys Conferences

Youth Education and Action Kit

Campaign in a Box

Adults

It Starts With You, Facilitators of WR

Clubs Parents, teachers, mentors,

volunteers, community leaders & role

models WRC community organizers &

supporters Peer educators, engaged

bystanders

The WRC Lifecycle Approach – An Example

The fundamental question has shifted

from “why” we should work with men and boys, to “how” we work

with men and boys.

www.whiteribbon.ca/issuebrief

whiteribbon.ca

White Ribbon held an Ontario Men’s Attitudinal Survey on

Violence Against Women

The findings show that 94% of men in Ontario believe violence against

women and girls is a concern to them

87% think violence against women and girls affects all women including

the women in their life.

97% agree that they can personally make a difference in promoting healthy,

respectful, non-violent relationships

How to Be An Ally?

Raising our awareness


Examine your own actions,

attitudes and

behaviour…


Being A Role Model



Peer motivation is a powerful force for men.


February 2010whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca

whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @NSB_Speakerswhiteribbon.ca

Speaking in a Language of Consent



Consent starts before you even interact with someone.

It starts internally with exploring your wants,

motivations and intentions.


Research suggests that the strongest influence on men’s

behavior is other men


Give Love Get Love:Involved

Fatherhood



Fathers

Family Members

Educators

Coaches & Leaders

It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.

It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.

It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.

Shifting the culture and climate



But I’m a good guy!



Who do you want to be in this picture?


Even if we taught every woman in the world to defend themselves, why would we ever accept a world in which they have to.

- @ElliottBayev


OPEN THE DOOR TO THE CONVERSATIONOpen the door to a continuous ongoing conversation. Boys have questions and it doesn't stop growing into adulthood. Open up pathways for conversation and consciousness

full spectrumof

Your Self

a Conversation

of us.

being assertiveness and ambitiousness isnot a masculine

trait

love, kindness and emotional literacy

is not a femininetrait

it is Human.

let’s work towards a change that affects us all.

There is help. No one deserves to live with violence.

Look for emergency or distress services in the front of your local

phone book



www.whatmakesaman.org


Keep the conversation going.


Presentations & Public Speaking

ETFO Social Justice and Equity Conference for Male Educators Keynote. Friday Mar 27