My Bright Livelihood- LF Widder

Intro:Two months ago, I was unemployed and unfocused.

Nine weeks later, the image of my future - my purpose! - seems sharper. I’m still unemployed but I am training my lens to capture all of the possibilities for soul work.

Here, committed to “paper” is an e-journal created to keep my mind’s eye trained on what’s important. My favorite images, quotes, and words “seen” while studying the chapters highlight each principle.

My Bright Livelihoods project:

Begin.

Courage:“Everyone has (a) talent. What is rare is the courageto follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.”

- Erica Jong

The feedback that I received from this group of amazing, inspiring women sounds different from the voice in my head. They hear courage where I heard fear. The dark can be seductive and magical rather than gloomy and overwhelming: dark chocolate, blackberry jam, aubergine.

My visualization for courage:I was visited by the most courageous person I know (knew): My mother. We met on a beautiful bridge in an old city. She handed me a Post-It as the message was not very long. It read:

Write.

My timid “What now??” is being replaced by a resounding “What’s next?!”

my amazing mom

my fab auntie

Sunset ride - New Orleans, LA.

Seductive color palette - “Nomad”

Faith:“Faith is not belief. Belief is passive. Faith is active.”

- Edith Hamilton

My faith is informed by my Catholic upbringing and my explorations of shamanism, the teachings of Buddha, the celebration of Dia de los Muertos, Anne Lamott’s writing, naps in the sunshine... A mixed bag so full that I tend to “misplace” the difficult or challenging parts on purpose.

My visionary insights on faith:

✴The path toward soul work begins with better bridge work.✴Trust the process and engage in it, even when it gets deep.✴ I get distracted - I need to be more diligent incorporating meaningful ritual into my everyday life.

Be.

Gain strength from rituals

Nurture simple spirit

Acknowledge the difficult

Awareness:“I’ve been through it all, baby. I’m Mother Courage.”

- Elizabeth Taylor

Reviewing my personal and professional past is a lot like staring at old family photos. Some shots are all glossy, big grins and clowning around. In others the soft-focus almost obliterates the clenched teeth and uneasy smiles. Almost.

My visionary insights on awareness:

✴I have the ability to forge new routes to soul work.✴I’ve let traumatic and disappointing events bruise me. That shouldn’t be my legacy. I have a history of healing, too.

Moving on...

The old neighborhood - Chicago, IL

Memories in Marigny - New Orleans, LA

Guess who?! Lake Geneva, WI

Truth:“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

- Eleanor Roosevelt

I’ve spent a good portion of my life thinking myself “not good enough”. I have let others put me down in spite of some tremendous support (family, mentors, role models). That was my doing - I gave my power, my spirit, my potential for future soul work away.

My visionary insights on truth:

✴I continue to work on eliminating the self-medicating: sleep, noise, social media.✴Comparison is the thief of joy. I am easily deflated by other people’s Facebook status. My own seems so mundane - but true. Therein lies the answer.

Let it be.

I can write.

I can teach.

I can contribute.

Balance:“Keep breathing. “ - Sophie Tucker

I am a “second helping” kind of girl. If one glass of wine is good for the heart, then double-up!! Nothing will ever be in perfect balance. Why be the enemy of the good when I can shoot for a nice 60-40 split?

My visualization for balance:Cool teal green and deep, rich blue are the colors of the pool in my visualization. The water is warm and steamy despite the grey sky and snowfall. Outward balance, inward tension. My wrists and fingers ache. My head is calm. Practice makes peace; practice untangles the knot.

Equal - in opposite directions.

Yoga stretches the body beyond preconceived limits

Coffee invites conversation

Food & wine feed body & soul

Love:“Love...is the extremely difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.”

- Iris Murdoch

I haven’t loved myself as well as I should, or as well as I could. That has thwarted my ability to love others more completely. I have been loved and I am loved. It’s a good foundation. Forgiveness (of others, of myself) is frightening.

My visionary insights on love:

Forgive.

✴Holding on to my notion that simply “forgetting” will do has done me little good.✴Clarify what I want in order to get the love I need.

The nieces & nephew

Alice & Timber

Share the love.

Abundance:“Life’s what’s important...Birth and pain and joy.”

- Katharine Hepburn

It’s difficult not equating “abundance” with “stuff” and “stuff” with “security”. I get tangled up in the (false) purchasing power of unhappiness. Being out of work has reacquainted me with crafting, thrifting, stretching. I am spending my time not my money.

My visionary insights on abundance:

✴Consider the value of everything, of everyone, of myself.✴Reconsider what is a memento and what is just a knick-knack.

Enough.

So much hope...

So much beauty...

So much bounty...

Authenticity:“I want to grow old without facelifts.

I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I have made.”- Marilyn Monroe

Letting go of weaknesses is scarier than I thought. Weakness is a security blanket that insulates me from the difficult task of being true to myself. Owning up to it was an incredibly freeing experience.

My visionary insights on authenticity:

✴I am not the family “babysitter”. They don’t need me in that way. They need me to be happy. That is a much different role.✴My talents and interests are worth showcasing.

Real.

Interests: Travel

Style: Creatively cluttered

Talent: Writing

Creativity:“Rule of art: Can’t kills creativity!”

- Camille Paglia

There is no creativity without authenticity - no action! I think this is why I’ve had such a difficult time being creative about my dreams, about my budget, about my life over the last decade. Not pursuing soul work has drained me of my imagination.

✴My ideas for bridge work now include job sources that have the potential to enhance my creativity.✴There is still a lot of innovation with my make-believe.

My visionary insights on creativity:

Dream.

Try new methods

See new ideas

Play with new possibilities.

Integrity:“Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.”

- Janis Joplin

A hat is something that can be taken off, refurbished, embellished. I don’t have to wear the same hat(s) in the exact same way for the rest of my life.

My visionary insights on integrity:

✴Integrity - featuring a variation on the word gritty. It can be so when life, work, people force you to stand by your convictions. Get gritty, dirty - or forego the path to soul work.✴Live the mission statement:

Dream it...and write it down. Then, plan on it!

Light my way Commit to my route

Share my principles

Vision:“Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities.

Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.”- Gloria Steinem

I am turning away from what I think of as comfortable. This concept is foreign to a Scorpio; we like comfort, hate change. I haven’t been truly cozy in a decade. My bridge work has been more hair-shirt than cotton sweater.

My soul adventure insights:

✴Practice not relying on GPS, self-help books, articles on how other people “did it”. My process, my wrong turns, my discoveries. ✴Stop thinking that there are dire consequences around every blind corner!

Momentum.

Plan on it

Stop talking myself out of doing

Look toward the future

Commitment:“The difference between involvement and commitment is like ham and eggs.

The chicken is involved; the pig is committed!”- Martina Navratilova

What a novel concept: The short-, mid-, and long-range plan! I doubt I could’ve gotten to this point without going through the previous 11 steps. I had no real idea how to get from point A to point Z. I didn’t want to work on the B’s, C’s, and D’s.

And that was the point all along.

My visionary insights on the personal pledge:

✴I pledge to release fear and focus.✴I pledge to take honest, measured steps toward soul work.✴I pledge to battle through self-doubt and limiting beliefs.

Ready.

Open the door!

Cross the bridge (finally)!!!

Take the risk!!

Outro:It’s not suddenly all sundaes-with-cherries-on-top. I’m struggling with my plan, with my forgiveness, with my vision. But I’ve written it all down - and continue to do so. That is a big step for me. I’ve learned a lot about myself, how to recognize my soul work, and how to plan for it.

To Cindy H, Mindy, Anna, Cindy D, Kat, Jill, Kate, and of course Laurel - I couldn’t have made these discoveries without such caring, giving women.

Thank you.