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In Islam, it’s no secret that parents are a direct gateway to Jannah for their children. As Parents, you possess infinite importance, and this is mentioned numerous times throughout the Qur’an and teachings of the Prophet SAW. However, with great power comes great responsibility, and as parents you have the great responsibility of ensuring that your children grow up to lead Islamic-orientated lives in order to preserve the Ummah. One of your main duties as a parent involves selecting spouses for your children so they may cultivate fulfilling and successful marriages Insha’Allah. Over the years, we’ve been fortunate enough to have seen hundreds of parents register with Pure Matrimony in the hope of finding their children suitable spouses. We understand that it’s a daunting task, but it is one that carries much reward. We’ve also spent a lot of time helping and educating parents on how to make this process easier, which is why we put together this report. We wanted to make parents fully aware of the issues and problems of finding a spouse for their children, plus we also wanted to help parents support their children in the right way, as the Prophet SAW advised. Unfortunately, marriage in Western societies is taking a back seat, as ‘co-habitation’ and having numerous partners is the norm. Alhamdulillah, Muslims have been blessed with a faith that not only emphasises the significance of marriage, but strongly encourages it more than any other religion.
Citation preview
The Marriage
Dilemma:
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INTRODuCTION
In Islam, it’s no secret that parents are a direct gateway to Jannah for their
children. As Parents, you possess infinite importance, and this is mentioned
numerous times throughout the Qur’an and teachings of the Prophet SAW.
However, with great power comes great responsibility, and as parents you
have the great responsibility of ensuring that your children grow up to lead
Islamic-orientated lives in order to preserve the Ummah. One of your main
duties as a parent involves selecting spouses for your children so they may
cultivate fulfilling and successful marriages Insha’Allah.
Over the years, we’ve been fortunate enough to have seen hundreds of
parents register with Pure Matrimony in the hope of finding their children
suitable spouses. We understand that it’s a daunting task, but it is one that
carries much reward.
We’ve also spent a lot of time helping and educating parents on how to make
this process easier, which is why we put together this report. We wanted to
make parents fully aware of the issues and problems of finding a spouse for
their children, plus we also wanted to help parents support their children in
the right way, as the Prophet SAW advised.
Unfortunately, marriage in Western societies is taking a back seat, as ‘co-
habitation’ and having numerous partners is the norm. Alhamdulillah, Muslims
have been blessed with a faith that not only emphasises the significance of
marriage, but strongly encourages it more than any other religion. The Prophet
Muhammad SAW likens the importance of marriage to having completing half
of one’s Deen, and describes the virtues of marriage in several passages of the
Qur’an:
"And among His signs is this; that He created for you mates from among
yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love
and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for those who
reflect." (Surah Al Rum, Chapter 30 Verse 21)
The Prophet SAW himself married many times and also strongly encouraged others to marry. It has been reported that Prophet Muhammad SAW said:
“Do not delay in three things; 1) the offering of the obligatory prayer. 2) The offering of the funeral prayer when the deceased’s body is present. 3) The marriage of a woman when her couple is found.” (At-Tirmidhi)
However, despite the immense teachings and guidance given to us by the
Prophet SAW it is a common occurrence to see able individuals delay the
marriage process due to factors such as higher education and financial
instability. Moreover, it is quite alarming that parents have also encouraged
later marriages, in fear of expenses and other aspects. What’s rather
unfortunate is that sons and daughters have been waiting longer and growing
older before the decision is made to embark on the most beautiful and blessed
journey of their lives.
We at Pure Matrimony understand the difficulties that ensue when considering
marriage for your children. From financial difficulties to emotional
apprehension, many factors can prevent you from researching or taking active
steps towards considering marriage for your offspring.
However, we believe that the key to a successful parent – child relationship is
communication. Being open and honest with your children can help to make
the marriage process something to look forward to, rather than something to
be feared or dreaded. It will also help construct a realistic idea of what it
entails, subsequently helping to combat the very unrealistic expectations of
marriage you see in the media.
In this guide, we take a look at the most common problems being faced by
parents as well as the problems being faced by the youth of today and offer
practical solutions to dealing with the marriage crisis.
The Problems Parents Face
Many parents want to support their children but feel at a loss as to how to do
this effectively. They will often go to their own network of friends and family to
see if there is a potential match for their children. If this fails, it becomes
stressful for parents who end up at the mercy of far-flung recommendations
and ‘strangers’.
Even worse, there are countless parents who unfortunately live in areas where
they are isolated from family and friends. These parents don't really have
access to Muslim communities and as such deeply struggle to find suitable
spouses for their children.
So what should parents who are facing this kind of problem do?
Look into alternative means - if there's no one suitable in your
immediate network of friends and family, then ask the local Imam to
help you.
Consider divorcees and reverts, since these are two groups of people
who really struggle to find spouses.
Marriage events are a good place to find some suitable prospects.
However, be aware that these can sometimes be more like cattle
markets especially if they are not organised properly. Never attend a
marriage event which does not have the proper Islamic environment in
place.
Increasingly parents are turning online to help find suitable spouses for
their children. There is absolutely no shame in this whatsoever, and this
can be an excellent way to see many different people without having to
get emotionally involved with any of them.
Please bear in mind one thing - not all Muslim matrimonial services are
the same! Many claim they are halal, but in actual fact they don't have
the necessary checks and balances in place to ensure that their services
really are halal. So what should you look for?
o Look for matrimonial services which take into account the proper
Islamic ethos
o This includes not openly displaying pictures, since this only
encourages ‘window shopping’. I'm sure you would not want your
son or daughter to be on public display like this where anyone is
free to download their pictures and use as they will!
o Sites which do not have open chat rooms – one of the worst sins
that take place on matrimonial sites is flirtatious chatting which
can often lead to haram and zina
o Choose a site which has fully moderated discussions. The Prophet
SAW said that when a man and woman are alone together the
third person is Shaytan (Bukhari). Therefore, stick to matrimonial
services which ensure that discussion is monitored to prevent
fitnah
o As a parent (particularly if you are a father), your main source of
stress will be ensuring that your daughter is properly taken care
of. It's essential that when choosing a matrimonial service you
choose one that allows the addition of a Wali
o As a father, you'll have the natural intuition of knowing whether a
brother is genuine or not - almost like a security blanket. Use this
to your advantage and make sure you're involved with the
discussions at every step of the way
What Happens if your Child Falls in Love With Someone Inappropriate?
If your child falls in love with someone who you feel is completely
inappropriate for them, there are a few things you can do. Firstly, try and
speak to them and hear their side of the story – without getting angry or
raising your voice.
It's important that your child feels heard. Although they are not little any more,
parental instincts always kick in when we feel as if our children are under some
kind of stress or threat. It's completely natural, but not the way your child will
see it!
Always remember first and foremost that loving guidance is key. Your children
may be adults and completely capable of making their own decisions, but
when it comes to love it's a different story altogether.
The saying that love is blind could not be truer. Usually in these circumstances
the one who is in love will fail to see reason or understand you and what you
have against the person they love.
So here are seven key strategies that will help you bridge that gap between
what is acceptable and what is not:
1. Be honest, open and respectful with your child - the more your child
understands why you don't approve of the person they have chosen, the
more likely they are to listen to you – provided you are not disrespectful
of their choice or disrespectful to them
2. Understand that your child will not accept your negativity towards the
one they love - so don't do it! If your child feels as if their future spouse
is being attacked, they will strongly oppose you. When this happens your
child will refuse to listen to you
3. Know your Islamic limits and rights - Islam doesn't allow you to force
your child into marriage. However, as your child’s parent, Islam gives you
certain rights to intervene if the person they are about to marry is
genuinely a very bad person...
Therefore, it's critical to understand the difference between not liking
someone because you just don't think they’re good enough and genuinely
having a concern based on hard facts. For example if your daughter wants to
marry a man who has a gambling problem then you are perfectly within your
rights not to approve the marriage.
If however you don't like the fact that the brother is not earning enough, or
you don't think he's handsome enough or even if he happens to be a revert or
divorcee, then this is no reason or basis to prevent the marriage. Much of this
comes down to overcoming your own prejudices.
Abû Hurayrah relates that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "If a suitor
approaches whose religion and character please you, then let him marry.
Otherwise, there will be a lot of immorality and corruption in the world."
[Sunan al-Tirmidhî (1084) – authenticated by al-Albânî]
The truth is if the brother or sister is of a sound character and is a good
practising Muslim, then you really should not prevent the marriage. One thing
to remember here is that brothers do not need their parents’ permission in
order to get married, but sisters always need the permission of their wali.
Please don't abuse the rights that Allah has given you.
It’s also worth mentioning here that Sheikh Muhammad b.`Uthaymîn says the
following:
‘If a woman's guardian prevents her from marrying a suitable partner of good religion and character, then her guardianship is transferred to the next in line for guardianship among her relatives. If all of her guardians – in succession – refuse, as is usually the case in these matters, then guardianship transfers to the Islamic judge who will facilitate the woman's marriage. It is the duty of the judge to get the woman married once the matter comes before him and he knows of her guardians' refusal. This is because the judge has general jurisdiction over the matter once the specific jurisdiction of her blood relatives is annulled.’ The jurists mention that if the wali repeatedly refuses a woman's qualified
suitors, his character is deemed sinful and this disqualifies his guardianship. In
fact, many scholars are of the opinion that the right of such a man to lead
others in prayer is nullified. Subhan’Allah! What a serious matter this is!
Some people whom Allah has entrusted with guardianship refuse to allow the
women under their care to marry qualified suitors. The problem is
compounded by the fact that many young women are too shy or scared to say
anything or to approach the Shariah courts.
Approaching the Shariah courts in this case will likewise be a warning to other
guardians who could abuse their authority.
4. If there is genuine concern, then get tough – if for example, the person
that your child wants to marry is genuinely a bad person, then there are
a number of things that you can do to help situation.
a. Get the parents of the other person involved - this is crucial so you
can work out ways in which to deal with the situation
b. Do NOT get angry at the other parents or place the blame on them
or even tell them to control their son/daughter – doing so will
make matters worse
c. DELAY the marriage as MUCH as possible with the exception of
when you feel as if your child may commit zina. The hikmah
behind delaying the marriage is that as time goes on, the reality of
the situation will hopefully make your child want to back off
themselves
d. Involving the local imam or someone who your child respects and
will listen to – is a good way to get help if you feel you can’t
control the situation
e. Prevent your child from seeing this person as much as possible –
this includes speaking to them on the phone. Make your
boundaries clear of what is acceptable and what is not
5. Do your homework on the person your child wants to marry – this
means playing detective and finding out everything you can about them.
Ask their friends and the people that they work with what kind of
character this person possesses. Also ask about whether they are
genuinely a good person. Doing your homework will help both you and
your child make a more informed choice when it comes to marriage.
6. Seek counselling – it may be a good idea to get a counsellor involved if
you feel you are making very little progress with your child, and you
have no one else that can help. Sometimes counselling is an excellent
way to help your child understand exactly why they want to marry a bad
person in the first place.
What we mean by this is that sometimes it can be hard to let go of a
person that you are emotionally involved with. There have been many
cases of children being emotionally manipulated to marry people that
they really don't want to. In any of these cases speaking with a
counsellor may be just the thing to help face your fears and continue on
a deeper understanding of the problem at hand.
7. Know when to back down – you may get to a point where you have
exhausted all options, but your child refuses to let go of the person they
want to marry. In this case if you suspect that your child will fall into sin,
then sometimes the only way forward is to back down and allow them to
make their own mistakes.
As hurtful as this may be, if you genuinely feel that your child will not let
go, and it's causing them distress and misery then it may be better to go
ahead and let them marry the person they want to.
In this situation it’s imperative that you involve the parents of the one
who wants to marry your child and come to some common terms. There
have been many cases of brothers and sisters who have wanted to
marry someone their parents would not approve of and those same
people have ended up either committing major sin or running away and
eloping.
In some rare and extreme cases, there have been cases of suicide which
in itself is a major, major sin. All of these are highly destructive and a
source of major sin. Allowing your child to marry is always better than
your child ruining their own reputation or yours or even taking their own
lives.
The Issue of Forced Marriages
Forced marriages are more common than you think. There’s a huge difference
between an arranged marriage and a forced marriage. Arranged marriages
always take place with the consent of both parties, whereas forced marriages
are where the child has no choice.
This is extremely common in families from the Asian subcontinent where
cultural expectations from extended family and friends can mean unrealistic
expectations with regards to marriage. Unfortunately, the practice of staying
within the culture or limiting yourself to staying within your caste is not from
the Sunnah.
In many cases where families have extended families abroad, expectations of
helping these families come into play. These parents will selfishly marry their
children off to cousins or other family members abroad without consulting or
taking into account their children's wishes.
The first thing to realise here is that Islam gives your child a choice. That is
their divine right from Allah SWT - which no one including you as a parent
can take this away from your child.
Secondly you have to look at the bigger picture. What do you think would
happen if you push your children into marriages where they are deeply
unhappy?
The truth is these marriages rarely succeed, ending in divorce and separation.
If they then go on to have children, it's the children that suffer when parents
split apart. Islam is designed to hold the fabric of society together with mutual
love and respect. If two people are being brought together who really dislike
one another, then the reality of the situation is that marital breakdown will
occur at some point.
There are thousands of cases each year in the UK and in other Western
societies of children being given into foster care as a result of forced marriages.
This is appalling and completely unacceptable, since many of these children
will go into care with non-Muslim families.
Unfortunately in cases like these it's not just the parents of the children that
are held to account. Allah SWT will also hold the elders who pushed their
children into these marriages in the first place into account.
As harsh as it may sound, the Muslim Ummah becomes weak when situations
like this occur. Children forced into marriages will hate or resent their parents,
often abandoning them as they get older.
But there is something that is a lot more serious than this. When you force
your child against their wishes to marry someone they don't want to, then in
reality their nikkah could be invalid.
In other words, your child would be in a haram relationship, and the sin of zina
would be upon you as parents. You should also be aware that children which
are born as a result of this haram relationship would be illegitimate - so the sin
of this would also fall on your head.
This is a very grave situation, and one that tens of thousands of parents
worldwide are in without even knowing it. Can you imagine standing before
the Almighty on the Day of Resurrection with such a huge sin on your head?
Even if you are a highly practising Muslim, this one sin can very easily drag you
into the hellfire.
So how can you stop this ever becoming a problem in your family?
Here's some tips:
Fear Allah and always ask your children for their permission when you
consider a spouse for them
Talk to your children about their goals and ambitions in life. It is your
duty as a parents to help them find someone who will help support their
goals
Remember that your children have a right to their own life. They should
never be blackmailed emotionally or forced to make decisions just to
please you
Parents should remember that they will be held to account for
everything that results from poor decisions they make about their
children
Parents should keep an open mind and help consult their children and
guide their children into making the right decisions. The right decisions
are not for you as a parent – rather what is right for your child
A big tip here is that you should respect your children so they will
respect you. Pushing your selfish needs on your children will actually
make them resent you
Always think long-term - it's not about you. It's about your children who
have a right to live their own lives. You have lived your life, so give them
a chance to live life on their own terms in a halal relationship which is
brought about by mutual consent and is entered into with happiness
Problems Our Youth Face – Parents Take Note!
As parents, it can be sometimes be hard to recollect the difficulties that
unmarried youngsters can face within their day to day lives. With the rise of
the Internet, mobile phones and social interaction, fitna is more common place
than ever. Places like Facebook mean it’s now completely possible to speak to
strangers from across the world and form relationships from a distance.
Our youth are constantly battling their nafs and innate human instincts in
order to better their faith and their relationship with Allah. However, this is no
easy process, particularly when it comes to dealing with members of the
opposite gender.
Mixed gender schools and workplaces can often be a breeding ground for fitna.
Constant daily interaction with the opposite gender can allow for illicit
friendships to form, completely disregarding the Islamic method that was used
and loved in the time of the Prophet SAW.
These things can make it extremely difficult for the youth to stay on the
straight and narrow path. Therefore, in order to aid the Ummah in dealing with
these problems, the Prophet SAW advised that all those able to marry young,
should do so in order to gain control of one’s natural urges and to live a life
confined by the guideline of Islam.
"O you young men! Whoever is able to marry should marry, for that will help him to lower his gaze and guard his modesty." [Al-Bukhari]
Despite the golden advice given by the Prophet SAW there are still
miscommunications between parents and children in regard to marriage. As
parents, it makes sense to follow the tried and tested methods that was used
by generations before, such as arranged or assisted marriages.
However, as we have already mentioned, this particular method can often be
abused, in the form of forced marriages, which can seriously harm the children
pushed into these farcical marriages.
There is a much more menacing prospect which is prevalent these days,
occurring in many Muslim homes, whereby young adults may find partners for
themselves which they know to be worthy, however their marriage is
prevented by their parents who refuse to accept it. As parents, you are
obviously a major part in deciding potential partners for your children, but, if
they do find someone for themselves, it helps to be open and accepting to the
idea, and approach such prospective marriages with an open mind.
Again, we have to stress that the Prophet SAW advised us that if your child has
sought a potential spouse whose Islamic principals are in line, and possesses a
good character, then you should accept their proposal.
"When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth." (Tirmidhi)
This should be regardless of culture or creed. Many parents are afraid to allow
their children to marry reverts of other cultures, though this should not be the
case. This will not only be in line with the teachings of the Prophet SAW but it
will also help the Revert society flourish and blend in with the existing Muslim
society, helping them to feel more accepted.
We understand that it may be difficult or that you might feel in yourself a little
out of your comfort zone to accept this, however, you need to realize a cold,
hard truth.
Remember that the Prophet SAW was the best of us and the ultimate example
- he married many women who could be considered as reverts to Islam. The
Prophet SAW himself was the first ever Muslim and his first wife Khadeeja RA
was the first ever revert to Islam.
Reverts are such a blessing – ask any family who has accepted them into their
homes! They are strong Muslims who have had to shun an entire way of life to
accept Islam and leave all their desires behind – so why should they not be
fully embraced within our homes and our families?
To learn more about parental involvement in marriage, make sure you watch
our two webinars on ‘Marriage and Parents: A Recipe for Disaster or Success’
which can be found on the Pure Matrimony YouTube channel.
Recommendations When Choosing a Matrimonial Site
With literally dozens of new matrimonial services popping up daily, it’s hard to
choose the right service which is going to help maximise your safety. Sisters in
particular are always vulnerable and should never engage in conversations
with a potential spouse without her family knowing – and certainly never
without a wali.
We really cannot stress this enough! It’s about YOUR security, YOUR safety and
YOUR respect! If you don’t respect your own safety, then chances are the
other person won’t either!
As a practicing Muslim looking to get married, which sites should you be
looking for and which should you avoid?
Here’s our top tips:
Choose a matrimonial site which doesn’t display your photos publicly as
this instantly puts you at risk from bad characters and even stalkers!
Keep away from sites where the majority of the people on the site are
NOT practising. The truth is, many of these sites tout themselves as
being for Muslims, but are more like dating sites. You only need to take
one look at some of the pictures to see what we mean!
Avoid sites which don’t keep an eye on conversations! The Prophet SAW
said that when a man and woman are alone, the third person is always
shaytan (Bukhari), and this includes sites where men and women are
freely conversing with one another
Choose a matrimonial service which monitors all discussions and
interactions so there’s an additional layer of security for the members
Stay clear from sites which don’t allow you to include your wali into
conversations, since this is a BIG cause of problems long term. It’s not
enough for your family to know you are looking to get married and have
registered with a site – your wali should absolutely be included in the
communications!
Is the site taking an active interest in helping you achieve your religious
duties? Are they helping to educate you? If not, then ask yourself the
TRUE value of the site. Marriage is not just about the nikkah, it’s about
STAYING together, avoiding haram and building a solid foundation for
future generations.
Choosing a matrimonial service should be straightforward process when you
know what to look for and more importantly what to avoid!
A site such as Pure Matrimony is perfect for practicing Muslims looking to get
married in a safe, halal way, and where security is the number one priority.
The Pure Matrimony website offers the following big benefits:
Private profiles - Communication is encouraged based on Islamic values,
personality and character rather than looks. You won’t catch any photos
on Pure Matrimony until you have established compatibility with a
prospective spouse. This has the big advantage of preventing ‘window
shopping’
Wali Support - Your wali can be included in all correspondences with
other members in real time, so they are fully involved in the process if
you want them to be. Apart from fulfilling an Islamic right, having a wali
can PREVENT you from becoming the victim of fraud online and is an
additional security layer for you
Enhanced Profile Moderation - Every profile is carefully checked to stop
time wasters and those looking for ‘fun’ or dating, so your imaan is
never compromised
Discussions are Monitored and moderated to ensure the safety of our
members and also because the Prophet SAW forbid us to be in seclusion
with members of the opposite gender. Keeping discussions monitored
means your safety isn’t compromised and you can search for a spouse
with confidence
Shariah compliant - Endorsed by some of the largest Dawah
organisations and most respected Sheikhs in the West
Measurable Success - On average, three couples a week find their Pure
Match, and of these, two people EVERY week go on to get married
through Pure Matrimony
Regular webinars and education is provided to our community on many
marital and pre-marital issues
LEARN MORE ABOUT PURE MATRIMONY...
Let’s talk more about the points we covered above and explain a little more so
you can make an empowered choice as a parent and help your child find
someone suitable. And for your peace of mind, we’ll also explain more about
some of the rules we have on our site so you can join with or on behalf of your
child with confidence...
Pure Matrimony is a Matrimonial site with a difference! We are the World's
Largest Muslim Matrimonial Website Exclusively catering for Practising Single
Muslims. Our website has taken its inspiration from the Qur’anic verse
"women of purity are for men of purity and men of purity are for women of
purity" (Qur'an 24:26).
The aim of Pure Matrimony is to create an online environment in which we
attract only those Single Muslim profiles who take their Deen seriously thus
increasing the likelihood of compatibility. Our dedicated team of Moderators
ensure that members who have good Islamic etiquettes are allowed to join and
remain on the site. Furthermore, Pure Matrimony is backed by the World's
Largest Dawah Organisations in the West. So you could say we know a little
something about match making.
But here’s where Pure Matrimony is relevant for you. We’ve helped many
parents find suitable spouses for their children, plus because we stick strictly to
the Sunnah ordained by the Prophet SAW, we are trusted to deliver on our
promises of providing a safe and halal environment in accordance to the
Shariah.
Although many matrimonial sites have had bad press lately, Pure Matrimony is
significantly different in its approach to finding suitable spouses. With an array
of different features incorporated in the site to ensure it’s easy to use, parent
friendly and most importantly, halal, it’s easy to see why Pure Matrimony is
the site of choice for many practising Muslims.
There are many ways in which Pure Matrimony differs from the conventional
match making websites. First and foremost, we strongly encourage the
involvement of parents in the marriage process. When creating individual
profiles, females are encouraged to share the details of their wali. This will
often be father, guardian or even the local imam. Brothers even have the
option to contact the wali directly if they are interested in a sister, ensuring
that parents have a large input into making the ultimate decision.
Also, as a wali, you will have access to the active conversations that your
daughter is partaking in. This counts as a present third party, meaning that any
contact between your daughter and a potential is valid and more importantly,
complies with the Sunnah. Active conversations between potentials are also
viewed by external moderators, as the Prophet SAW mentioned that if a boy
and girl were left alone in seclusion, shaytan would be the third among them.
Pure Matrimony monitors the conversation to prevent shaytan from
interfering, and by allowing brothers and sisters to talk about inappropriate
matters unseen. This also helps us to weed out the non-genuine or
inappropriate members.
Pure Matrimony, also allows you as parents, to create profiles for your
children as long as they are aware and have given you consent to do so. This
enables you to vet potentials with your child and ultimately puts you in the
driving seat, enabling you to choose potentials that your child will admire but
that you will approve of also.
With easy to follow instructions, you’ll easily be able to create and account for
your child. You do not need advanced computing skills to navigate around the
site. Profiles are moderated by a team of administrators to check they are
clean, halal and appropriate. We take the privacy and security of our members
very seriously. By checking each profile manually, we eliminate those who are
looking for a ‘good time’ or reasons other than marriage. If Pure Matrimony
admin come across content that is not of an honest Islamic nature, the profile
is banned.
Accounts can be suspended for a variety of reasons:
Breaching the site rules in your communications (e.g. by distributing
personal contact details before mutual compatibility had been
established, being rude or aggressive to another member, etc)
Opening multiple accounts - the duplicates will all be suspended
If we discover that you've deliberately misrepresented information on
your profile
Regular misuse of your account, e.g. by uploading inappropriate
photos, or making inappropriate statements within your profile
Not being qualified to register on the site (e.g. you may be under-age,
or a non-practising Muslim, etc)
This list is non-exhaustive. As a general rule, if we come across any
activity that is not befitting for a practising Muslim searching for a
marriage partner in a halal manner to engage in, we will take
appropriate action.
Therefore, the profiles present on Pure Matrimony are trust worthy and
legitimate and are also worth your consideration.
In order to ensure that any communication taking place is for the intention of
marriage and matrimony, there is an imposed limit on the amount active
conversations that an individual can partake in at any one time. We recognise
that members may be communicating with more than one member at a time
in the search for a marriage partner.
However, in order to ensure that our members are serious in their
communications, and aren't simply spamming other members, we've
implemented a limit as to how many conversations a user can be engaged in. If
attempts are made to open more conversation than this limit, then our
moderators are alerted. We encourage our members to complete their
conversations with those users with whom they're already engaged, rather
than pursuing other options.
Also, in case you are worried about the reliability of profile photos used on the
website, we have put in place strict guideline that must be complied with in
regards to photos on display.
Profile photos have to meet the following criteria:
No sunglasses
Clear shot and not fuzzy or dark pictures
‘face-on’ shot and not a side shot
Must be a colour photo and not black and white
No third person in the shot unless it is a child
Close up photo only and not a distant shot
Unless the above criteria are met, there is a risk that the picture used will not
be an accurate representation of what the individual really looks like.
Uploading a photo is completely optional. However, you may find that your
profile generates less interest without photos, as many members find early
establishment of physical attraction very important in their search for a spouse
online. The Prophet SAW stressed the importance of being able to look upon
and potential partner as physical attraction to your partner may keep away the
path of fitna.
All these features make our website different from all the other ‘match
making’ websites out there at the moment. Pure matrimony can aid you as
parents in the often difficult search for spouses for you children, and though it
may seem that no one will be worthy of your child, marriage is an important
part of life and the Sunnah.
Parental input is welcome and valued here at Pure Matrimony. The
implementation of a wali into the system is a completely foreign concept to
traditional match making websites, but it is something we are passionate
about as complying with the Sunnah is our first and foremost concern. If
marriage truly represents half our Deen, then it must be done correctly and in
a method that is in compliance with Islam. We at Pure Matrimony can help you
do that Insha’Allah.
Register today to help your son or daughter find their Pure Match at:
www.PureMatrimony.com and experience the Pure Matrimony difference.
May Allah SWT help you find a righteous spouse for your child ameen.
The Pure Matrimony Team