What I lost and how I gained

The power of shifting perspectives

in life and in coaching

Agenda

• Part 1: The story of the experience

• Part 2: Life Lessons

• Part 3: Discovering the gift

• Part 4: Relevance to coaching

• Questions

Part 1:

The experience

South America Adventure

O.R Tambo 31st March, 2013

Buenos Aires

9 de Julio

Part 2:

Life Lessons

https://blog.focus-mediation.co.uk/2013/12/10/the_grieving_cycle_and_relationship_break_down/

Grief Cycle

Different Forms

• Non-attachment – belief

that everything is transitory

• Less attached to the ego –

you are transitory

Letting Go

“The teacher comes

when the student is

ready.” – Gregory David Roberts (2003), Shantaram

Part 3:

Discovering the gift

Loss versus Gain

http://www.relatably.com/q/quotes-about-life-lessons-pinterest

http://www.spring.org.uk/2015/01/nasal-spray-effective-treatment-for-memory-loss-and-alzheimers-study-finds.php

Becoming More Ourselves

• Pre-planned life

paths

• Crumbling masks

• Discovering our

authentic selves

• Passionately curios

Part 4:

Relevance to coaching

“Of course, the alchemy that transmutes

bad experiences to good ones, emotional

lead to gold, doesn’t happen by default. It

requires a particular kind of magic”

– Martha Beck (2008) Steering by Starlight

I can learn anything I want to.

When I’m frustrated, I persevere.

I want to challenge myself.

When I fail, I learn.

My effort and attitude determine

everything.

I’m either good at it, or I’m not.

When I’m frustrated I give up.

I don’t like to be challenged.

When I fail, I am no good.

If you succeed, I feel threatened.

My perceived abilities & past

determine everything.

Mindset & Thinking ProcessForward ThinkingStuck

Our Lens

•Past experiences

•Fixed assumptions

•Challenge habitual

thinking

•Stretch

Focus

Powerful Questioning1. What have you learnt from this experience?

2. What do you believe the lessons were from this

experience?

3. Is there anything new that you discovered about

yourself that surprised you from this experience?

4. What have been the positive outcomes from this

experience?

5. If anything, what about this experience are you

grateful for?

6. What is the most helpful thing you could do next?

7. What are your key takeaways from this

experience?

8. What parts of your personality will be helpful tools

to help you move forward?

The Future

• Everything happens for a reason

• Acceptance

• Developing insights

• Deeper understanding

• Cultivating gratitude

• Bulking up our tool kits

Questions?