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Read my Blog: http://iambetterthanthebest.blogspot.com no offense, but its really funny...
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SO MUCH......FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK
PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID
1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop." Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No." Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do
you see a pop-up menu?" Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" Customer : "Sure, you told me to write
'click' and I wrote 'click'."
2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the
same error message." Tech Support : "Did you install the
update?" Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to
install it to get it to work?"
3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done." Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?" Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
5).Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, canyou see
the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer : "Wow. How can you see
my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one." Tech support : ******_____####
7). Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ////-----+++
8). Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."
Tech support : ??????
9).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ?!%#$
10).Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer
won't boot properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech support : @@@@@
12). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
13). Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : *** ---- ++++
14). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply. Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support::(hush hush) Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented
DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKECOM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft
and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech support : (hush hush)
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions
about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.
15) customer care officer:I need a product identification number right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer? Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette
out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, nothing happens, it must be
really stuck. Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it
yet...it's still on my desk... sorry .
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the
left of the screen. Customer: Is that your left or my left?
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me
and..... Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting
technical onme! I'm not Bill Gates damn it !
Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of
the monitor, but the computer still says it can't find
it...
Customer: I have problems printing in red ... Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me inthe supermarket.
Helpdesk: And now hit F8. Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly? Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you
told me, butnothing's happening.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces
back. Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah ... that one does work!
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in
apple, a Capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
A customer couldn't get on the Internet: - Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right
password? Customer: Yes I'm sure. I watched my colleague
do it. Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password
was? Customer: Five stars.
Helpdesk: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape. Helpdesk: That's not an anti-virus
program. Customer: Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed screensaver on my
computer, butevery time I move the mouse, it
disappears !
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech Support, may I help you? Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hoursfor you. Can You please tell me how long it will take beforeyou can help me? Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem? Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the helpbutton more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
Helpdesk: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter " a ", but how do I
get the circle around
LIFE IS FUN
JUST KEEP SMILING