PresentersSoror Patricia Moore Henegan

Internal Leadership Training for External Service Committee

Upsilon Sigma Omega Chapter Basileus

Group Dynamics: Can’t We All Just Get Along?

Objectives are:

To improve chapter effectiveness and productivity.

To arm you with powerful tips and tools to positively impact your personal and professional relationships.

“We don’t accomplish anything in this world alone…and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one’s life and all the weaving of individual threads from one to another that creates something.”

Sandra Day O’Conner

Representation in Chapters Same SororityDifferent Churches Schools Families Jobs Experiences

Natural forces that exist Old members vs. New members Charter members vs. All members Strong vs. Weak personalities Older Sorors vs. Younger Sorors

But we all must work together to complete tasks, lead and serve.

In order to do this, we must communicate.

DiversityWhen one honors differences, they find

harmony and success.

Political AffiliationsExperiencePersonalities Beliefs

EducationAttitudesBehaviorsFeelingsBackgrounds

Communication is a powerful force!

It causes people to change their mind.It inspires action.It builds a person’s self esteem.It unites.It triggers emotions.It clarifies.It energizes the entire chapter.And the list of its capabilities is limitless.

Types of Communication Verbal and Nonverbal

Verbal deals with what you say and how you say it…

Symbols and signs are the major signals that make up verbal communication.

Words act as symbols Signs include things like tone of voice,

blushing and facial expressions.

Non-Verbal Cues “Action Speaks Louder Than Words”Sometimes it is so loud it is deafening.Nonverbal communication, or body language, includes

our facial expressions, gestures, touch, eye contact, posture, and even the tone of our voice.

Nonverbal communication has huge impact on relationships:

Accurately read other people, including the emotions they’re feeling. Create trust and transparency. It shows others that you understand, notice and care.

.

Tone of Voice Makes a Difference“Come Here”Demanding

RomanticFriendlyFunny

Same Word – Different Connotation“Hey Baby”

Mother to Child Spouse to Spouse

Strange man to woman

Scenario One

Verbal Cues/Non-Verbal CuesYou are in a conversation at your chapter

meeting. You leave there feeling well understood and

respected.Site an example where you left a chapter

meeting feeling well understood and respected.

What made YOU feel understood? Respected?

Listened to without interruptionWelcoming tone of voiceAsked clarifying questionsDialoguedDid not drown out your voice with their points of

viewOffered opinions or supportMaintain eye contact with you?

What makes you feel Understood & Respected?

Verbal Cues

They took the time to listenHeld eye contactPosture was open, not aggressiveThey showed a genuine interestThey smiledDid not frownNodded their head

What makes you feel Understood & Respected?

Non-Verbal Cues

Scenario twoVerbal / Non-Verbal Cues

You are in a conversation at your chapter meeting. This time when you leave you feel upset,

unappreciated, misunderstood.Site an example where you left a chapter

meeting feeling upset, unappreciated, or misunderstood.

What made YOU feel upset? Misunderstood?

What makes you feel upset, unappreciated/misunderstood?

Verbal Cues

Talking to someone elseAngry voiceRaised voiceConstantly interruptingRefusing to listen

Insincere wordsTalking down Placing blameTrying to change the

subject

What makes you feel upset, unappreciated/misunderstood?

Non Verbal CuesFrowning or a smirk on faceEyes looking back and forthRolling eyesLooking away (ignoring me)Aggressive posture, like hands on hips, or arms

folded, head nodding “no” Walking awayUsing intimidation

1. Don’t attend meetings, but if you do, arrive late.2. If the weather is bad, then don’t even think

about going.3. Be sure to leave before the meeting adjourns.4. When you do go out to the meeting, be sure

and try to find fault with the president and the other officers.

5. Never accept an office, that way you can be sure to criticize those who do hold an office.

SIXTEEN WAYS TO WRECK A CHAPTER

6. If you go to meetings, don’t initiate new ideas. Then you can play “Devil’s Advocate” to those submitted by others.

7. When asked what your opinion is, reply that you have nothing to say. After the meeting, you will be able to tell everyone how things should be.

8. When you are appointed to a committee, do not go to the meetings and never give time or service.

9. Do nothing more than absolutely necessary, but when someone else comments about the lion’s share that some have done, tell everyone that the sorority is run by a clique.

SIXTEEN WAYS TO WRECK A CHAPTER

10. Vote to do everything at a meeting, but never do anything.11. Sit in the back and gripe with others about the meeting.12. Talk cooperation, but never cooperate.13. At every opportunity, threaten to resign and try to get others to

do the same.14. If asked to help, never have time.15. Don’t worry about paying dues or assessments; wait until you

have received two or three late notices.16. Don’t bother about getting any new members, let the other

members worry about it.

SIXTEEN WAYS TO WRECK A CHAPTER

by Soror Karen LigginsOmicron Theta Omega

What resolution will you make to do your part innot being a chapter wrecker as we all have beenguilty of at least one thing on this list?

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

SIXTEEN WAYS TO WRECK A CHAPTER

Behavior TypesWhat are their characteristics?

They will not disappear so how do you plan to respond to them?

The rambler oneThe stubborn oneThe Scrappers

The off-base oneThe silent oneThe resentful oneThe talkative one

Group Dynamics: Can’t We All Just Get Along?

Rate as (1) Seldom to (4) Often.

1. Struggle daily with my own self-understanding.2. Gets along with difficult people.3. Communicates on a person-to-person basis. 4. Communicates well among groups. 5. Guiding and leading others is hard for me.6. Motivates and inspires members of my chapter or people in my personal life. 7. Enlist volunteer workers at Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority meetings/programs.8. Maintains control of my feelings when I am angry.9. Builds trust with chapter members and others. 10. Resolves/manages personal conflict or criticism. 11. Works with people in small groups. 12. Shows respect to those in my chapter or individuals I interact with. 13. Acts based on my own feelings/values. 14. Lead based on my relationship to others.

What does this assessment say about you?Your Score1.______2.______3.______4._______5._______6._______

7._______

8._______9._______10.______11.______12.______

13.______14.______

Total: _____

Nelson Mandela wrote “To make peace with an enemy one must work with that enemy,

and that enemy becomes one’s partner.”

One must have a balance in their life. That balance requires you to understand the concept of peace and how it becomes a tapestry of your existence. Does your tapestry represent confusion every time someone meets you? Does your tapestry represent an element of peace and harmony where individuals are delighted to be in your company. How do you want to be perceived in this world? Your style of operation represents a unique component of your personality. How effective your current style in approaching problems, opportunities and interacting with others often determines the level of peace and harmony that exist in your universe. It is my hope that you will take time to explore the scales of peace and harmony by reflecting on questions that require soul searching in-depth analysis of who you really think you are.

Interpersonal Skills ReflectionsThere are no right or wrong responses. Every Soror is unique.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” --(Mahatma Gandhi)

1. What do you value most in a relationship?

2. How many of your friendships have lasted over ten years?

3. Which of your current friends do you feel will be important to you 10 years from now?

4. How forgiving are you when your friends let you down?

5. In conversations do you tend to listen or talk more?

6. What is your belief system?

7. What do you want in life? Name three things.A___________________B___________________C___________________

8. Identify characteristics of behaviors that are disruptive and frustrating..

Valuing Human BeingsYou take responsibility for the energy you bring

to any situation.Everyone wants to be heard. People want to be treated with respect, trusted,

appreciated and understoodPeople want to feel validated – Do you see me?

Do you hear me? Does what I say mean anything?

(LISTEN TO ME WITH YOUR EYES)

SELF REFLECTION

We all see the specks in others’ eyes better than the beams in our own.

It’s easy to look around and see the unsisterly behavior of other sisters, but take a second and look at the sister in the mirror. What message are we sending?

SELF REFLECTION

Consider how others are blind to their own faults, and ask yourself if you suffer from the same kind of blindness.

Be the person in your chapter that is known for solving problems, not making problems.

Be a builder, not a destroyer.Keep in mind that sometimes life offers us lemons,

and we have to make the lemonade.Seek the good in others, and they will be more likely

to find it in you.

When you are listening to someone speak, what are some things about that person’s communication that

makes you listen?

What are some things that make you tune them out?

I AM AN IVY ON THE WALL(AREAS OF STRENGTH)

EXAMPLE – Strong leadership in directing and managing.

___________________ __________________________________________________

___________________ __________________________________________________

___________________ __________________________________________________

___________________ __________________________________________________

I NEED TO START A CLIMB(AREAS TO IMPROVE)

EXAMPLE – Following other leaders more effectively.

___________________ __________________________________________________

___________________ __________________________________________________

___________________ __________________________________________________

MY PERSONAL COMMITMENT TO THE BOND OF SISTERHOOD

To my sorors – my sistersI will offer a face of beautiful

smiles and loving grace

To my sorors – my sistersI will offer my eyes to help clearly

see the futureWhere our destiny lies

To my sorors – my sisters

I will offer my lipsTo speak words of encouragement

in times of hardships

To my sorors – my sistersI will offer my hands

And work diligently with you in service to mankind

To my sorors – my sistersI will offer my feet

And stand firmly beside you through bitter cold or scorching heat

To my sorors – my sistersI will offer my shoulder

Lean on me – rest on me – I’m your rock – your boulder

To my sorors – my sisters

I offer my heartRenewed bond – renewed

loyalty – renewed loveAnd a new start.

Soror Gwendolyn M. RainerRho Alpha Omega Chapter

Code of Ethics for Getting Along With Our Sisters

Common SenseHow to get along with people

Be cheerful, Keep the corners of your mouth turned up. Hide your pains ,worries and disappointments under a smile. Laugh at good stories and learn to tell them.

Preserve an open mind on all debatable questions. Discuss, but not argue. It is a mark of superior minds to disagree and yet be friendly.

Be careful of another’s feelings. WIT and humor at the other fellow’s expense are rarely worth the effort.

Never let an opportunity pass by to say a kind and encouraging thing to or about somebody.

Let everyone you meet however humble, feel that you regard him as one of importance.

Common SensePromise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To think only of the best and expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of

others as you are about your own. To forget about the mistakes of the past and press

on to the greater achievements of the future. To give so much time to the improvement of

yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Anonymous

Life is full of vicissitudes. …Here today and gone tomorrow.

Focus on the time we have.

Group Dynamics:

WECAN

Get Along!