Have you noticed Have you noticed that stairs are that stairs are

getting steeper. getting steeper. Groceries are Groceries are heavier. And, heavier. And,

everything everything is further away. is further away.

Yesterday I walked Yesterday I walked to the corner and I to the corner and I was dumbfounded was dumbfounded

to discover to discover how long our how long our

street had street had become! become! 

And, you know, And, you know, people are less people are less

considerate now, considerate now, especially the young especially the young

ones. They speak ones. They speak in whispers all the in whispers all the

time! If you ask time! If you ask them to speak up them to speak up

they just keep they just keep repeating repeating

themselves, themselves, endlessly mouthing endlessly mouthing

the the samesame silent  silent message until message until

they're red in the they're red in the face! face!

What do they think I What do they think I am, a lip reader?am, a lip reader?

I also think they I also think they are much younger are much younger than I was at the than I was at the same age. On the same age. On the

other hand, people other hand, people my own age are so my own age are so much older than I much older than I am. I ran into an am. I ran into an

old friend the old friend the other day and she other day and she has aged so much has aged so much

that she didn't that she didn't even recognize me.even recognize me.

I got to thinking I got to thinking about the poor about the poor

dear while I was dear while I was combing my hair combing my hair this morning, and this morning, and

in doing so, I in doing so, I glanced at my own glanced at my own

reflection…well, reflection…well, REALLY REALLY

NOW - even NOW - even mirrors are not mirrors are not

made the way they made the way they used to be! used to be! 

Another thing, Another thing, everyone drives everyone drives

so fast these days! so fast these days! You're risking life You're risking life

and limb if you and limb if you happen to pull onto happen to pull onto the freeway in front the freeway in front of them. All I can say of them. All I can say is, their brakes must is, their brakes must wear out awfully fast, wear out awfully fast,

the way I see them the way I see them screech and screech and

swerve in my rear swerve in my rear view mirror.view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these are less civilized these days. Why else would days. Why else would they suddenly start they suddenly start

labelling a size 10 or 12 labelling a size 10 or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do dress as 18 or 20? Do

they think no one they think no one notices? The people notices? The people who make bathroom who make bathroom scales are pulling the scales are pulling the same prank. Do they same prank. Do they

think I actually 'believe' think I actually 'believe' the number I see on that the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that let myself weigh that

much! Just who do these much! Just who do these people think they're people think they're

fooling? fooling? 

I'd like to call up I'd like to call up someone in someone in

authority to report authority to report what's going on -- what's going on -- but the telephone but the telephone

company is in on the company is in on the conspiracy too: conspiracy too:

they've printed the they've printed the phone books in phone books in

such such smallsmall type that  type that no one could ever no one could ever find a number in find a number in

there!there!

All I can do is All I can do is pass along this pass along this

warning:warning:WE ARE UNDER WE ARE UNDER

ATTACK! ATTACK! 

Unless Unless something something

drastic drastic happens, pretty happens, pretty soon everyone soon everyone

will have to will have to suffer these suffer these

awful awful indignities. indignities. 

PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS EVERYONE YOU KNOW AS

SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY GET THIS CONSPIRACY

STOPPED! STOPPED! PS: I am sending this to PS: I am sending this to you in a larger font size, you in a larger font size, because something has because something has

happened to my happened to my computer's fonts - they computer's fonts - they

are smaller than they once are smaller than they once were.were.