UnsellingUnselling

How Do We Un-sell? Lose Trust?How Do We Un-sell? Lose Trust?

Spouses Girlfriends/Boyfriends Family Members Bosses/Coworkers

Stalking Ignoring Unreliability Withholding information “Shady” Late Wandering eyes Dominating Controlling Manipulating Nagging Insecurity Needy De-motivating Undermining Negativity Bullying

Absence Speaking dumb Dirty Lying Breaking promises Highlighting weaknesses Talking of past girlfriend(s) Cheating No passion Unappreciative Condescending Undermining authority Badmouthing Back-stabbing Not team player Downers Financial insecurity Clingy

How Do We Un-sell? Lose Trust?Customers

Trust in 2011Trust in 2011We believe that confidence will be key for the economy and markets in 2011, as all too often it’s the way that people feel – not the actual facts – that drives the public’s spending and investment decisions. Today, despite six consecutive quarters of GDP growth, 13 months of private sector job gains and a 97% return in the S&P 500 since its March 2009 low, the 30-day moving average of a recent poll from Rasmussen shows that 64% of American adults believe that the U.S. economy is currently in recession.

- JP Morgan Chase

How to Alienate Customers/De-Motivate How to Alienate Customers/De-Motivate EmployeesEmployees Hotel: phone bill bigger than room bill Banking: $35 returned check fee Cellular: Best prices for new customers Airlines: $100 change fee Rental car: Gas refill @ 3x retail price

Communication that Un-SellsCommunication that Un-Sells Poor word choices

◦“Huh?”◦“Uh Huh.”◦“Pls”◦“Thx”◦“TY”

Top 5 Things that Un-sellTop 5 Things that Un-sell Talk too much More interested in themselves than me Haven’t done their homework Don’t show respect for their own people Promise things I know their people can’t

deliver

Qualities That Un-sellQualities That Un-sell Shady Exaggerate Believe they can solve everything Don’t show concern

Good to Bad RatiosGood to Bad Ratios To maintain a positive attitude (minimum)

◦3 positive to 1 negative interaction for business◦5 positive to 1 negative interaction in a marriage

Intonations Matter

The Experiment:The Experiment:“I didn’t say he beat his wife” Someone else said it I didn’t say it I implied it Someone else did the beating He shook her He beat someone else’s wife He beat his mistress

Responding to “Thank You”Responding to “Thank You”

Acknowledge the value in a “thank you” Don’t say “no problem”

The focus of sales and dating is the transfer of trust.The focus of sales and dating is the transfer of trust.

◦A. Women put emotion into a lot of our thinking while most men do not.

◦B. When men say they really aren't thinking about much of anything...they are not kidding.

Men think in checklistsMen think in checklists