People still talk about some do-gooder. A good scout, the one

ForScottAllieForhisdetermination

Remember,Democracyneverlastslong.Itsoonwastes,exhausts,andmurdersitself.

—JOHNADAMS

Peoplestilltalkaboutsomedo-gooder.Agoodscout,theoneineverycrowd.Somealtarboy,someteacher’spetwalksintotheSoutheastPrecinct,lookingbothways,whisperingwithonehandcuppedbesidehismouth.Pastdarko’clock,it’smidnighto’clock,wheninwalksthekidwithhishoodup,headdown,wearingsunglasses,noless.He’snobody’sStevieWonder.Nowhitecane,nodog.Whisper-askscanhetalktosomebodyincharge.Asksthedesksergeantonduty.Whispers,“Iwanttoreportacrime’ssupposedtohappen.”

Thedesksergeant’sbeing,“GotsomeID?”

Wearingaballcapwiththebrimpulledlow,hishoodpulledupontopoftheballcap.Onlyhisnoseandmouthshowing,thispartypooper,concernedcitizen,sweatingdarkpatchesthroughthebackofhissweatshirt,he’sall,“It’snotmetellingyou,okay?”Shakinghishead.“Notinpublic,either.”

SoMr.DeskSergeant,hecallssomebody.Makesabigperformanceofpressingabutton,pickinguphistelephoneandtouch-toning,nevertakinghiseyesoffthiskidinthesunglasses,sergeantaskingcanadetectivecomedowntothelobbyandtakeastatement.Yeah,apossibletip.Sergeantlooksatthekid’shandshecan’tseeonaccountofthey’reshovedinthefrontpocketsofhishoodie,notagoodsign.Sergeantalwaysheadnodding.Pointingwithhischin,like,“WanttokeepyourhandswhereIcanseethem?”

Thekidobliging,butshiftinghisweightfromfoottofootlikeheforgottotakealeakforthepasthundredyears.Craningaroundlikehe’sexpectingsomebodytowalkinoffthestreetbehindhim.Kid’sall,“Ican’tbeexposedherelikethis.”

Thiskid,hisarmshangstraightwhilehe’shyperactivefromthewaistdown,likehe’sinRiverdance,orlikehe’sdoingporn,thesamewayapornstarkeepsthatcamera-sidearmslack,pulledback,paralyzed,whilehishipsbuck,likethatonearmisattemptingtofleethesceneinunderstandablehumiliation.

Sergeantondutybeing,“Emptyyourpockets.”Wavingthisgoody-two-shoesinthedirectionofametaldetectiontunneldealsameasatanyairport.

ThisEagleScoutextricateshiswalletandphoneandputsthemintheplasticbowl.Afteralonghesitation,hissunglasses.TheregularHomelandSecurityroutine.Thekid’seyestwitchy.Blueeyesunderworried-togethereyebrows.Makingafacethatwillgivehimwrinklesoneday.

Inthepolicestationthere’sasound,likeapop,likeashot,likeagungoingoffonlymuffled,maybeoutside.Kidjumps.Mostdefinitelyagunshot.

Detective’slike,“Youhigh,son?”

Kid’sgotthislooklikehe’sjustseenthewrongpersonnakedridingabicyclefrombehind.Hisvoicefallsoffacliff,goingshrillallthewaytothebottom,hesays,“CanIhavemywalletback?”

Detective’sall,“Firstthingsfirst.”Thedetectivegoes,“Youhereabouttheupcomingassassinations?”

Andthekid’slike,“Youguysknowalready?”

Thedetectiveaskswhoelsehasthekidtold.

Andthisusefulmemberofsociety,thiskid,hesays,“Justmyfolks.”

Thedetectivegivesbackthekid’swallet,hiskeysandsunglassesandtelephone,andasks,canthekidcallortexthisfolksandpersuadethemtocomehere,totheprecinctrightthismoment?

Thedetectivesmiles.“Ifyougotaminute,Icananswerallyourquestions.”Hejerkshisheadtowardthecameraontheceiling.“Nothere.”Detectiveleadsthiskid,America’snewesthero,downaconcretehallway,downafirestairs,throughacoupleofmetaldoorsmarkedAuthorizedPersonsOnly.Leadsthekidtoametaldoor.Unlocksitwithakey.Throwsthedooropen.

Thiskid’sfolks,theytextthey’recomingdowntohelphim.Theytextnottobescared.Insidethemetaldoorit’sdarkandstinks.Abacked-uptoiletstink.Kidfollowsthedetective.Hisfolkstextthey’reinthelobby.

Here’sthebestpart.Detectiveflipsonthelights.Thissnitch,thetattletaleseespiledinthecenteroftheroomaheapofbloodyclothes.Nextheseesthehandsattachedtoeachsleeve.It’sonlyclothesandshoesandhandsbecausetheheadsandfaceshavebeenobliterated.Adistantvoice,muffledfromanotherroom,says,“Theonlyqualitythattrulyunitesusisourdesiretobeunited...”

It’sthenouraltarboyturnstothedetectiveforhelpandseesnothingexceptthemuzzleaimedpoint-blankathisownface.

Soonasthelocatingservicescansforpipesandburiedelectricalcableshegivesthego-aheadtodig.Spencer’sRentaltrucksoverthebackhoe,theironewiththelargestbucket.

Thejob’sjusthalf-dugwhensaunteringacrossthepracticefieldscomessomebodytoooldtobeastudent.Somebodytenured.SomebusybodyinthoseIndia-print,cottondrawstringpants.Leathersandalsandsocks.Wearingasweatshirtprintedwiththewords“ThisIsWhataFeministLooksLike.”Somethingrolledupandtuckedunderhisarm.He’sgottheusualgraybeardandeyeglasses.Oncehe’syelling-close,graybeardraiseshisarmandwaves.Shouts,“Nicedayforit.”

Yes,andaponytail.Saunteringacrossthesoccerpitch.Baldexceptforthegrayponytailhanginghalfwaydownhisback.Sparklinginthesunshine,anearring.Onedazzle-brightdiamondearring.

Specificationscallforexcavatingarectanglethreehundredbythirtyfeet.Twelvedeep,withthebottomleveledandlayeredwithtwofeetofimperviousclay.Ontopofthat,aseamlessbarrierofpolyethylenesheetingtoretardpossibleleakageintothewatertable.Thissite,here,aminimumoffivehundredyardsfromanypotablewelloropenwatercourse.Thesearethesamespecsthey’reusingnationally,thesamespecsasaholdingpondatamill,onlyminusthecompressedclayhardpantheEPAwouldnormallyrequire.

Rolledupunderthegraybeard’sarm?It’sayogamat.Hegoes,“Whatareyougentlemenundertaking,here?”Aprofessorslummingitamongtheproles.

Rufusgoes,“Campusimprovement.”Howhesaysthiswithoutlaughing,whoknows,buthe’sall,“Long-termundergroundparkingforfaculty.”

Naylorlaughs,onlyheputsafisttohismouthandpretendsit’sacough.Ostermanngiveshimaharshlook.

Professorisall,“CallmeBrolly.Dr.Brolly.”Heoffersahandshakenobodyaccepts,notatfirst.NaylorlooksatWeise.Rufusheftshisclipboardandflipsthroughthethickstackofpaperitholds.Professor’shandhoversuntilOstermannshakesit.

Rufusshuffleshispages,being,“Brolly...Brolly...”Hisfingertiptracesdownsomelist,andRufusgoes,“Youteachsomethingcalled‘TheArrogantLegacyofPrivilegedEuro-ColonialCulturalImperialism’?”

Professornodstoindicatetheclipboard,himbeingall,“MayIasktowhatyou’rereferencing?”

Notmissingabeat,Rufuscomesrightbackwith,“Environmentalimpactstudy.”

NaylorandWeisebothguffaw.Totaljackasses.Theyturntheirbackstoeverybodyuntiltheycanregainaprofessionalcomposure.They’restillsnickeringuntilOstermanngoes,“Don’tbedicks!”

Professorred-facedbehindhisbeard.Heshiftshisyogamatfromunderonearmtoundertheother,going,“IonlyaskbecauseIserveontheuniversityCommitteeAgainstWoundingtheEarth.”

Consultinghislists,Rufusisall,“Vicechairperson,itsayshere.”

Naylorexcuseshimselftogoinformthebackhoeoperatoroftheneedtoslopethewestsideoftheexcavationseeinghowthat’sthesidethedumptruckswillbefillingitfrom.Nobodywantsittoslumpunderthatkindofweight.Weiseleansonhisshovel,noddingtogetProf’sattention,going,“Nicesweatshirt.”

Armup,sleevepulledbacktoshowawristwatch,Profmakesabigshowofcheckingthetime.Being,like,“I’dstillliketoknowwhatyoupeopleintend.”

Nosestillstuckinhispaperwork,Rufusgoes,“YourofficestillinPrinceLucienCampbellHall?Sixthfloor?”

Proflooksrattled.

Weisegoes,“Thatarealdiamond?”StuckthroughProf’sleftear,soperfect.

Thesoccergrassrunsrighttotheedgeofthedig.Underthatshowsalittlemarginofdark-browntopsoil.Belowthatisayea-widestripeofsubsoil,withunderthatancienthistory,dinosaurdeep.ThebelltoweroverbytheAdministrationBuildingbeginstotollfouro’clock.

Profgoesdownononeknee,rightattheedgeofthehole.Nothingbutrawdirtgoingdowndeeperthanaswimmingpool.Deeperthanabasement.Dirtandworms.Thesteepsidesclawedwithstripesfromtheteethonthebucket.Littleclodsbustlooseandrolltothebottom.

Kneelingthere,theprofessorleansoutoverthedrop.Contemplatingwhathecan’tunderstand,hecouldbelookingforfossils.Dumbasahogledtoslaughter,notrecognizingtheobvious,buttryingtoidentifysomelasttraceofavanishedcivilization.Whateverthecase,he’sgettingagoodlong,lingeringlookateverythingpitchdarkhe’sspenthisentirelifepretendingdoesn’texist.

Thebitsofbreakfastcerealclungtohisskinlikefruit-flavoredscabs.Hepeeledoffared-flavoredoneandateit.Itleftaghostonhisarmlikeatiny,round,redtattoo.Likehewasturningintoarainbow-coloredleopard.

ThatmorningNickwakesupinbedwithspilledFrootLoopsstickingtohisback.Littlecirclestainsinrainbowcolors,likeLifeSaversprintedonhissheets.Hereacheshisphoneoffthefloortotryandreconstructhiseveningbefore.

“Rewardofferedforinformation,”itreads.Atextthatcamethroughafewminutesaftermidnight.Hetriestoreturnthetext,butit’sablockednumber.

He’snotoutofbedbeforethephonerings.TheCallerIDsays:Private.Nickthumbsthescreenandis,like,“Talktome.”

Avoicegoes,“Nicolas?”Amalevoice,butnotWalter’s.Nothisdad,either.Raspyandwheezing,butcultured.NobodyNickknowscallshimNicolas.

Helies,“No,thisisNick’sfriend.”Heneedstopiss.Onthephone,he’sall,“Nick’ssteppedout.”

Thetelephonemanis,“Allowmetointroducemyself.”Rasping,“MynameisTalbottReynolds.ByanychancedoyouhappentoknowthewhereaboutsofaMissShastaSanchez?”Wheezing,“Thatmostcaptivatingandlovelyofcreatures.”

Nickliesagain.“Can’thelpyou.”

Overthephone,“YouareacquaintedwiththeenchantingMissSanchez?”

AndNick’sall,“Nope.”

“HaveyourecentlybeencontactedbyeitherthepoliceoroneWalterBaines?”asksthisTalbottperson.

Nick’sgettingthepicture.Walter.Walt,thescrew-up.Thelamehelplessloser.Everyoverdoseorcarcrash,itwentthiswaywithoutfail.ThetimeWalterdidbathsaltsandtriedtoeathishand,itwasNickwhohadtotakehimtoEmergency.Orworse,whenhetriedtodrillthathotSatanist.Notbotheringtohidetheangerinhisvoice,Nickgoes,“Neverheardofhim.”

Thevoiceoverthephonesoundsecho-y.Asifcallingfromaholesomewhere,thisTalbottsays,“BeassuredIamanexceedinglywell-offindividualwhowouldpaygreatlyforanyassistanceyoumightoffer.”

Nick’sfingersfeelamongthebedsheetsuntiltheycomeacrosssomethinground.AtenmilligramFlexerilbythesizeofit.Byreflexhebringsittohismouthwithoutlookingandchewsitwithoutwater.Ifthisphonecallisadrugdeal,Nickfretshemightgetdraggedintoit.Theeventsoflastnightcontinuetobealittlefoggyinhishead.He’swaitedtoolong,longenoughforsomebodytotriangulatethesignalfromhisphone.Timeenoughforsomebodytobeknockingathisdoor.Hegetsall,“LetmetakeamessageforNick.”

“Tellhim,”thevoicesays,thisTalbott,“nottogotothepolice.”Afteronlytheslightestofhesitations,“Assurehimthateverythingwillberesolvedinafewdays.”

Alreadyfeelinghismusclesloosenandrelax,Nickgoes,“What’sShastawrappedupin,thistime?”

Thevoice,thiswell-heeledgeezer,Talbott,he’sasking,“MayIhaveyourname?”

OnlyNickendsthecall.Heslipsoutofbedandsquintstoseethroughthebedroomcurtains.Nobodystandsathisdoor,notyet.Hepullsagreen-flavoredFrootLoopoffhisarmandchewsit,thinking.Beforeanythingelse,heswipesandthumbstodeactivatetheGPSonhisphone.Asanaddedsafetymeasurehesnapsopenthebackandslipsoutthebattery.

Rowsoffoldingchairsaresetup,evensothere’speopleleftstandingalongtheedgesandacrosstheback.Inthatbig-boxsportinggoodsplace,theonewiththewaterfallsandtroutstreamforindoorsfly-fishing,onlyit’safterhourssothewaterfall’sshutoffandthestreamisjustdryfiberglasspoolswiththetrouttuckedawayintanksbehindthescenes.LikeMotherNature’sgonehomeforthenight,there’snosoundtrackofsongbirdsorrecordedtrumpetingbullelk.

BingandEstebancheckoutthecrowd,mostlyabumpercropofBubbatypes.AsmatteringofJamals.Anarmyoflonewolves.Acrosstheaudienceisthatonedouchefromthegym,Colton-something,sittingwithhissignificantother,PeggyorPolly.Facingthecrowdissomemanasking,“Byashowofhands,whoknowswhypeoplecroptheearsofdogs?”

Beforeanybodycananswerorevenraiseahand,hegetsrevvedupabouthowancientshepherdscroppedtheearsoftheirpuppies.Topreventinfections.Topreventwolvesfromtakingholdduringfights.Shepherdsusedthesamescissorstheyshearedtheirsheepwith.Theygrilledthesnippedbits,cookedthemupandfedthemtothesamedogstomakethemfierce,noshit.

Sporting-goodsguy,heasksthecrowd,“HowmanyofyouknowancientAssyrianlaw?”Hegetsnotakers.Chargingforward,he’sall,“TheBabylonianCodeofHammurabipunishedlawbreakersbyslicingofftheirears?”Forextracredit,hegoesonhowKingHenryVIIIpunishedsixteenth-centuryvagrantsbycroppingtheirears.That,andAmericanlawallowedfolks’earstobeloppedoffaspunishmentforseditionormoraloffensesaslateas1839.

Makinghispoint,hegoes,“Itshouldn’tsurpriseyounonethatsincethebeginningofwarfare,mercenarieshavecollectedearstoexchangefortheirpay.”

Bingputsuphishand,going,“Soundsbloody.”

Sporting-goodsguyshakeshishead,going,“Not...,”hepointsupanindexfingertomakefolkswait,“ifyourtargetisdead.”

Thechiefadvantageoftakingscalps,hegoes,isthey’relightweight.Easytoharvestandtransport.Thedownsideisthey’remessy.Thesamegoesforhearts.Claimingaheartisslowgoing.Ears,ontheotherhand,earsareideal.Theleftear,tobespecific.

Earsareportableinlargenumbers.Easytoconceal.Ahundredearshardlystrainsapapershoppingbag.Thatamountstothreehundredthousandpossiblevotes,practicallybeingyourownpoliticalparty.

Sporting-goodsguy,heturnshisheadsidewaystoeverybodyandgoes,“Grabhold.”

Hemeanshisear.Estebanlooksaround.Nobody’sgrabbingsofinallyhestepsforwardandgrabstheman’sear.Itfeelswarmandstretchy.Themansays,“Giveitagoodtug.”Hedrillsthemontheregulations:Onlytheleftearcounts.Theleft.Onlyearsonthelist.RandomDNAtestingwillbeutilized,andifyou’refoundtohavesubmittedanearnotonthelistthenyou’refacingthedeathpenalty.Earsmaynotbeexchangedorsold,andonlythepersonharvestingtheearmaysubmititforvotingcredit.

Sporting-goodsguyyaksonaboutbullfighters.Aboutearsbeingthebody’sheatradiators.

Estebanstandingthere,he’sholdingontotheguy’searlikeit’scashmoney.

Plus,theguygoes,earsaredurable.“Evenwithaheadshottheear—youmighthavetohuntforit—buttheearwillremainintact.”ToEstebanstilltuggingonhisear,hegoes,“Youmayresumeyourseat.”

Thewaythesporting-goodsguyexplainsitanearismostly,theoutsidepart,thepinna,iscomposedofcartilageoftheelastictype.That,andtheouterperichondrium,whichsuppliesbloodandlymph.Aseasytosliceasatire.

Thebestmethod,hegoes,istoslicedownwardfromthehelixjunctiontothelobe.

Hegoes,“Ifyoucanslashatire,youcanharvestanear.”

Sporting-goodsguygetstomaintaininghowfolksneedastraightedge,fixedfour-inchbladewitha

fulltang,nofancyleatherhandleorboneorwood,butaneasy-to-grippolymer.Suchishisjob:Sellingstuff.“Whatyouwantishigh-carbonstainlesssteel.”Nopartial-tangknives.Partial-tangknivestendtobreak.Foldingbladesbreak.“Amancanharvestallthetargetshewants,butifhisknifebreakswhat’sthereward?”

Sporting-goodsguyisall,“Thedaycomes,peoplewillusetheirkitchenshears—buthowaretheygoingtoheadhomeandcutupachickenwiththesametooltheytookears?”

Loud,tooloud,Estebangoes,“Amen!”Folkslaugh.

This,thisbeingEsteban’sbrainstorm,thembecomingwarriorkingsandall.Histhinkingismostmenwon’tteamup.Men,they’refreelancers,likeinoldendays,thoseknightsforhire.Yourtypicalman,he’lltrytohitatargetandharvesttheear,himself.Alternatingtasksrequireshimtoconstantlyshiftgears.Slowinghimdown.Thesolution,Estebangoes,isforlaborspecialization.Bing’sacrackshot,Bingis,sohe’llputdownthetargetwhileEstebandoestheharvesting.Together,they’reahit-and-harvestduo.Togethertheycanestablishthefoundationofagloriousdynastytolastforever.Theirkidsandtheirkids’kids’kidswillbecrownedroyalty.

TheAdjustmentbeingonelastshotatdoingsomethingusefulwiththeirlives.

TheirswasjustlikeNatTurner’srebellionorJohnBrown’sraid.Alegacy.CometheNewCrusades,theOne-DayCrusade,andthey’llclaimsomethingcomparabletotheknightswho’dbeenawardedestates.Butapowersettooutlastbothlandandmoney.Becomeroyalblood.Withashoppingbagcrammedfullofearsthey’lltaketheirplaceinhistory.EstebanandBingandtheirdescendantswillcontrolamostmightynationforthecenturiestocome.

BackinhischairEstebanremovedatissueandtubeofcocoabutterfromhiscoatpocket.Hewasasleekapexpredatornow.Ifhewasgoingtogiveupalifetimeofgettinghand-me-downsandleftovers,he’dneedtogetthatman’swaxyearstinkoffhisfingers.

Shastadidn’tturnaround.Shewasaccustomedtocollegeboystrailingherthroughthehallsbetweenclasses,eye-rapingherFrenchvanillacurves,ear-rapingherwiththeirshoutsof,“Let’smountShasta!”Theserambunctiousdouchebagsshouting,“How’dyouliketosummitShasta?”

They’dpullatherdreadsandshout,“Shasta,letmegetbelowyourtreeline!”

Atthissheturned.ShehopeditwasWalt.ItsoundedlikeWalt’svoice.Butwhenshelookeditwasaburnertypewhosebreathsmelledlikeatorchedpartybowlofcheapkush.Helungedather,histongueoutandlipspursed,tryingtostealakiss.

Thestonerwent,“I’llmissyou,Shasta.”

Confused,shewasall,“ButI’mnotgoingaway!”Shesidesteppedashetriedtoswatherbottom.

Thensherealizedthathewasleaving.Thissadburnerdude,hewasgoingtodie.

Allthecollegeboysweregoingtodiepainful,awful,horribledeaths.

Thepoorguy.Theywerealltobepitied.

HereattheUniversityofOregon,nomatterhowintensetheteasinggrew,shedidn’ttakeitseriously.Theseboys,eventhosewhotriedtopinchheryogapants,sheknewforafacttheyactedoutsimplybecausetheywereterrified.

Dr.BrollywhotaughtPatternsinPoliticshadexplainedasmuch.

Forallin-comingfreshmen,he’dledamoduleexaminingabookbysomeGermanbraincase.Thesmarty-pantsacademic,GunnarHeinsohn,theorizedthatallmajorpoliticalupheavalsinhistorywereduetoanexcessofyoungmales.A“youthbulge,”thesavvykrautcalledit.TeachingtheconceptleftProfessorBrollybreathlesswithexcitement.Thebasicideaheldthatifatleastthirtypercentofapopulationconsistedofmalesbetweentheagesoffifteenandtwenty-nine—watchout!

Suchsurplusyoungmen,iftheyweresomewhateducatedandwellfed,theyyearnedforstatusandwouldcreatehavocinpursuitofit.Gunnarheldthatstarvingpeopledon’tstriveforrecognition.Likewise,illiterateboyswillneverrecognizehowhistoryignoresthem.Butiftheyouthbulgeisfed,wellfedandschooled,they’llbecomeapackofravenous,attention-seekingwolves.

Forhisfavoriteexample,Dr.BrollycitedSpainin1484.ThatyearthePope,InnocentVIII,declaredthatanyformofbirthcontrolwouldbepunishedbydeath,andthesizeoftheaverageSpanish

familyjumpedfromtwochildrentoseven.Onlythefirst-bornmalewouldinheritfamilyassets.Femalechildrenexpectedlittleatthetime.Butextramalechildrencravedstatus,power,recognition,andsocialposition.Itwasthissurgeofyoungmenwhocalledthemselvessecundones—inEnglish,“secondaries.”ItwasthesemenwhospilledintotheNewWorldwithChristopherColumbus’ssecondexpeditionandbecamethelegionsofconquistadoreswhoenslavedandpillagedtheinnocentMayaandAztecs.

IfWikipediawastobetrusted,GunnarHeinsohnhadbeenborninPolandin1943,whichofficiallymadehimsupergeriatric.ToShasta,evenwithhisshaggyblondhairandcooleuronamehewasonlymediumhot.

Throughouthistory,Dr.Brollylectured,similarbulgesoframbunctiousyouthfulmenhadtoppledgovernmentsandtriggeredwars.Eighteenth-centuryFranceexperiencedapopulationsurgethatincreasedthedemandforfood.Pricesrose,citizensrevolted,andthefrustratedyoungpeopleoverthrewtheLouisXVIaristocracyandloppedoffMarieAntoinette’sbejeweledhead.SamedealwiththeBolshevikRevolution.Itwassetinmotionbyafloodofextraneoussonsfromthecountrysidewhohadnofarmlandstoinherit.Inthe1930s,JapanexperiencedayouthbulgethatspurredtheinvasionofNanking.Inturn,Mao’srevolutionwaspoweredbyamaleyouthbulgeinChina.

Shastahadabsorbedeverydetail.Clearly,everybadeventinhumanhistoryhadbeencausedbyasurplusofcute,youngboyfriendmaterial.

AccordingtotheCouncilonForeignRelations,between1970and1999,someeightypercentofcivilconflictsoccurredinnationswheresixtypercentofthepopulationwasyoungerthanthirtyyearsold!Atpresentthereweresixty-sevencountrieswithso-calledyouthbulges,andsixtyofthemweresufferingsocialupheavalandinternalviolence.

AsifinleaguewithBrolly,Ms.Pettigrove,whotaughtGeneralitiesofGender,lecturedthateveryconflictthatcullsthemalepopulousincreasesthesocialvalueofmen.Inturn,thiscatalyzesarebirthofthepatriarchy.Withfewermentochoosefrom,womengoboycrazyandtoethelineforanythingwearingpants.

Itdidn’ttakemuchbrainpowertorealizewhythemalestudentbodyattheUniversityofOregonstruttedabout,brashandloud,butsecretlyterrified.TheUnitedStateswasonlydaysawayfromratifyingadeclarationofwarwiththeMiddleEast.Thatregionwasenduringitsownburgeoningbulgeofyoungmales,whiletheUnitedStateswasstrugglingwiththehyperactivityandstatusdemandsoftheMillennialgeneration—arguablythebiggestboybulgeinworldhistory.

InMissLanahan’sclass,BiologyofAnimalDynamics,sheshowedthemavideoaboutanimalrightsfilmedbyPETAorsomebody.Itshowedapoultryfarmwheresuper-cute,newlyhatchedchickswerecheckedfortheirgender.Thebabyhenswereplacedunderwarminglampsandgivenfoodandwater.Thebabyroosters,theygotdroppeddownadarkchute.TheypiledupinaDumpster,sodeeptheyformedafluffy,seethingmass,eachchickstrugglingtostayalive.AforkliftcarriedtheDumpsterintoabarrenfarmfieldandpoureditout.There,themalechicks,aliveanddeadalike,wereplowedunderasorganicfertilizer.

Theyoungmenintheclasshadhowledwithlaughterastheteeming,peepingfloodofEastercutiesspilledfromtheDumpster.Thetinyyellowballsoffluffstumbled,terrifiedandcold,acrossthebaredirt.Inatwinkling,gianttractortiresandthrashingfarmmachinerypulverizedeveryadorablenewlife.

Theboyslaughed,Shastaknew,notbecauseitwasfunnybutbecausethechickswerethemselves.

HowcouldtheseteenagersfocusonlearningcollageinArtorballroomdancinginPhysEdwhen,withthestrokeofagovernmentpen,theirliveswereabouttobeover?

Everyoneknewit.Theireighteenthbirthdayhadbeenadeathsentence.

Thiswashowpoliticianshadalwaysdealtwiththeburdenofsurplusmen.ItmadeShastasad,really.Reallysad.Theseloudmouthedjocksandstonersandnerds,theyweredeadmenwalking.AssoonasthedeclarationofwarwasratifieditwassolongmaleMillennials,hellonewlyrobustpatriarchy.

TheboyswhotrailedthehallwaysbehindShasta,tryingtosnapherbrastrapsandpepperingherwithsexuallysuggestiveinvectives,theywereallregisteredformilitaryservice.Mostofthemwouldbeshippedofftobebullet-rapedbyenemycombatants.

SowheneverShastastartedtotakeumbrageattheirharassment,sheconsideredhowmostofthemwouldsoonbebulldozedbeneatharidduneswithlikenumbersofboisterousandextraneousMiddleEasternboys.She’dscamperthroughhercourseworkwhilehermalepeerswouldbeconscripted.Theirmusclesandpimpleswouldbemangledundertanktreadsandblastedintoscreamingpiecesbylandminesjustliketheburied-alive,just-hatchedbabyroosterswhoseonlycrimehadbeenbeingbornthewronggender.

Shewouldgoontoearnherdegreeinsocialwork,justthebeginningofarich,longlife.

Andshe’dalwaysremembertowearapoppypinnedtoherlapeleveryRemembranceDay.

Behindheravoicehissed,“Shasta...”

Sheturned,readytoupbraidsomenewaccoster,butshewaswrong.HerewasNick.Aone-timeboyfriend.Nick,who’ddroppedoutattheendoffirstsemester,reasoningthathedidn’tneedPhysicsandCalculusIIforasuccessfulfuturecareerasshattered,bloodiedcannonfodder.Itwasnicetoseehim.

Tojudgefromthewanhalf-smileonhisface,hewashappytoseeheraswell.Beforethemomentcouldturnintoanythingstickyandromantic,heaskedher,“HaveyouseenWalterlately?”

Waltwashercurrentboyfriend.He’dalsodroppedoutofschool.HeworkedatStarbucks,earningafewdollarsandtryingtoenjoytheprecioussmidgenoflifelefttohim.No,shehadn’tseenhim.Notsincethedaybeforewhenhe’dbeenrantingaboutsomegrassrootsmassmurderconspiracy.

“Firstoff,”wentNick,“ifthepoliceask,youhaven’tseenme.”Hetookherhandandpulledhertowardanemptystoragespaceunderneaththeschool’ssouthstairs.Hewasbeingall,“Shasta,sugar,weneedtotalk.”Hereachedoutandbrushedthedreadsawayfromherface.“Honestly,I’mnotgoingtodate-rapeyou.”

Shastaallowedherselftobepulledin.

GregoryPiperhadreceivedasecondcallback.Hisagentwasthrilled.TheparthewasreadingforwasacharacternamedTalbottReynolds.Afictionalmonarchwhoruledanear-futureutopiaofwarriorsandmaidens,Talbottexistedabovecorruption.Thecharacterwasanimmortal,apoliticalsaintofsorts.Aprincipalroleinsometelevisionpilotinpreproduction.

Itwentwithoutsayingtheprojectsoundedlikeuttercrap.Anothercharactercutfromwholecardboard.Pipersighedtohimself.Regardless,itwasashopwindow.Facetime.Hehadn’tworked,notasingletelevisioncommercialorcartoonvoiceover,nothing,foralmostayear,andhewasseriouslyunderwateronhiscondo.

Ifneedbehe’dsurrenderhiscareertosadindependentproductions.Pilotsthatnevergotpickedupbyanetwork.He’dkowtowtofilmschoolauteursfundedwithlegalizedmarijuanamoney,whodidn’tknowakeylightfromalensfilter.Thushe’dalwaysfindhimselfre-blockingeverysceneandadvisingthecameraman,teachingthedirectorhowtoimplyacounternarrativethroughplacementoftheprincipalactors.

Granted,today’shiringcrewlookedtobeanotchbeloweventheusualHollywoodoutsidertypes.Themenwhoshookhishandabradedhispalmwiththeircalluses.Theysmelledofsweat.Theydrankcansofbeeratafoldingtableastheyloudlyarguedthemeritsofeachactor.Theirfingernailswererimmedwithdirt,andnosurgeonhadinjecteddermalfillersorstretchedtheskintoerasethecreasesintheirunsmiling,sun-damagedfaces.

ThecastingdirectorwasnamedClem.Just“Clem.”Hisknuckleswerebrownwithscabsofdriedblood,andhelookedmorelikeashopsteward.ClemshookPiper’smanicuredhandandgavehimtheauditionscript.He’dlikedPiper’sperformanceasRonaldReagan,thetimehe’dplayedhiminacablenetworkdocumentaryaboutthepresidentbeingshot.Clempumpedhishandandgushed,“Youweregreat,thewayyougrabbedyourgutsandkeptnot-dyingfortwohours.”

Amanwithabrokennoseandmutilatedcauliflowerearslikecabbagesstucktoeithersideofhisbaldheadsteppedupandintroducedhimselfasthecinematographer.HisnamewasLaManly.Nobodygavealastname.LaManlyhadadees-n-dohsaccentandaswastikatattooedonthesideofhisthickneck.LaManlylookedPiperupanddownandmuttered,“Sweetthreads.”

Thecastingcallhaddictatedforapplicantstowearasuitandtieasbefittedtheleaderofthefreeworld.Combedhair,shinedshoes.PipertookthistoheartandbrokeouthisbestSavileRowsingle-breasted.Aquickassessmentofthecompetitionassuredhimhemightgettherolebasedonhis

suit,alone.Theothersheretoreadwereromanticleadspasttheirprime.Handsomemenwho’dskatedontheirlanternjawsandjuttingbrows.Theywerewoodenactorswhospecializedinwoodencharacters:judges,lawyers,familydoctors.

Whensomeonecalledhisname,Pipertookhismarkbeforethevideocamera.Aposterstoodonatripodbesideit.Thehandwrittenlinesranlikealistundertheheading“ReadtheBelow.”Anassistantdirectorputhiseyetotheviewfinderasifcheckingthefocus.Withonehand,hedirectedPipertomovesidewaysahalf-step.Themanworeaplaidflannelshirt,unbuttoned,andashebentovertheviewfindertheshirtfellopentorevealastainedwife-beaterT-shirtandashoulderholstercontainingapistol.

Theassistantdirectorpointedastubbyindexfinger,makinghishandlikeafleshygun,andsignaledtobegin.Thethuggishcrewsatatanearbytableandwatchedhimonmonitors.

“Fellowcitizens,”Piperbegan,channelinghisbestReagan,“Ispeaktoyouastheheadofyournewgovernment.”ThesecrettodoingReaganwastokeepaslightburrinhisvoice.“Throughouthistory,powerhasbeenearned.”AnotherReaganrulewasthatthesilencebetweenwordswasasimportant,perhapsevenmoreimportant,thanthewordsthemselves.

“Historically,powerwasawarded,”Pipercontinued,“tothosewhodemonstratedit.Nonebutthebestwarriorswerecrowned.”

Piperloweredhischinalmostimperceptibly.“Nowpoliticshasdegradedpowertoapopularitycontest.”Bygazingup,hispupilshalfhiddenunderhistilted-downbrow,heimplieddisdain.Themenacingdisapprovalofacavemanwhoseeyesweresodeepsetastobelost.

Thesmallgroupofactorsawaitingtheirturncouldlearnavaluablelesson.PiperhadplayedLear.He’dplayedMoses.

“Untiltoday,”helectured,“modernleadershavepanderedfortheirpositioninsteadoffightingtoearnit.”Hepaused,lettingthewordstakeroot.

“SincethebeginningoftheIndustrialRevolution,”Pipersaid.Itwasatrickysegue.Abetterwriterwould’vemadeasmoothertransition,butanactorwhoknewhiscraftcouldalwaysfixtheflawsinbadwriting.Oftenbysimplyrepeatingtheopeningphrase,thus:“SincethebeginningoftheIndustrialRevolution,globalforceshaveimposedagreatstandardizationonhumanity.”

Withoutbreakingeyecontactwiththecamera,Pipercouldsensetherepetitionwasasuccess.Thecastingdirectornoddedandjottedanoteinhisscript.Twoothermen,aproducerandthescreenwriter,exchangedsmilesandcockedeyebrows.Nofeetwerebouncingwithimpatience.Noonedrummedhisfingertipsonthetable.Eventhedirectorceasedchewingthedoughnuthe’dbeenstuffingintohismouth,

Pipercontinued,“Inourlifetimewe’velivedunderthetyrannyofstandardizedtimezones,standardizedmeasurementsfortemperatureanddistance,requiredcodesofbehaviorandapprovedmethodsofexpression...”Therewasnoellipsehere,butPiperaddeditsothesubsequentpassagewouldhavegreatereffect.“...theseuniversalconventionshaverobbedusofourlives.”

Herehesmiledtoindicateanewsegue.Piperwatchedthedigitalcounteronthecamera.Theywantedthisbroughthomeinfourminutes,andhewouldhitthatmarkexactly.

“Theheroicactsoftodayhavefreedusfromthetyrannyoflong-standingconventions.”Hedrawledeachword,stretchedit,savoredit,togivethemessageaRoosevelt-fireside-chatjovialness.“Fromtodayforward,thepeoplewhorunournationareprovenheroes.”

Piper’sinflectionturnedpatronizing,pureHydeParksmug,dismissiveofanyfearshisaudiencemightharbor.Tolandthespeech,hepuncheditupwithJFKbombast.

“Thesenewleadersarethewarriorswhohavedeliveredusall,”hehalf-shouted.“Forgenerationstocome,theseliberatorswillsteerournation’snewcourseoffreedom.”

Thesewords,Piperknewtheydidn’tneedtomakesense.Theyonlyneededtoevokeapositiveemotionalreaction.

“Fromthisgreatday,”hedecreed.HisvoicesoundedasifitissuedfromagranitemouthonMountRushmore.ItseemedtoechoacrosstimeliketheGettysburgAddress.

“Fromthisgreatdaywerejectthelevelinganddumbing-downimposedbyglobalstandards,andwedevoteourlives...”Piperpausedasifovercomewithemotion.“Totherestorationofouridentity

andoursovereignty.”

Adecentactorstaystruetothescript.

Agreatactorknowswhentoimproviseanddrivehomeapointthewriterhasoverlooked.Goingoffscriptwouldeitherscuttlethisjoborclinchit.

GivingthecameraanLBJglower,Piperadlibbed.“Beforewecancreateanythingoflastingvalue,wemustfirstcreateourselves.”

Stillgazingsquarelyintothelens,headded,“Ithankyou.”

Fourminutes,exactly.

Theroomeruptedwithapplause.Therough-hewncrewmembersrosetostand,whistlingandstompingbootedfeet.EvenPiper’scompetition,hisfellowactorswho’dbeensittingonthesidelinesawaitingtheirturnstoread,eventheybegrudginglyapplaudedhistriumph.

Theknuckle-draggingcastingdirector,Clem,lurchedforward,hismeatyfacewreathedwithasmile.HeslappedPiperontheback,saying,“Yourbitabout‘creatingourselves’...sheerbrilliance.”Hethrustforwardasheetofprintedpaper,saying,“Beforeyouleaveyourmark,”indicatingthemaskingtapeonthefloor,“wouldyoureadthisintothecameraaswell?”

Withrough,scarredfingersClemofferedawhiteindexcard.Writtenonitwasasinglesentence.Piperreadthewordsandhandeditback.Hefixedthecamerawithasterngazeanddeliveredtheline:

“Donotseekitout,”Piperproclaimed.“Thelistdoesnotexist.”

Fromoff-camerathedirectorsaid,“Nextline.”

Piperread,“Asmileisyourbestbulletproofvest!”Astillphotographerhoveredinhisperipheralvision,snappingpictures.

Thedirectorordered,“Keepingrolling.Nextline.”

Pipernarrowedhiseyesandgavethecameraasagelookbeforereading,“Thedivinewagesaconstantbattletoproveitselftous.”

Minusacontext,heperformedhisbest.Reading,“Thosewhodemandpeacearethepeoplewhoalreadyholdpower.”

Theymadehimrepeatthelistofjingoisticslogansuntilheknewthembyheartandwasnolongerreading.Hewasreciting.Withoutpause,agoferhandedhimalargeblue-blackbook.Itwasroughlythesizeofacoffeetablealbum,thetypeusuallyfilledwithglossyartwork.Thecoverwasblanksaveforthetitleingildedlettering.AdjustmentDaybyTalbottReynolds.Hischaracter.Thephotographersnappedpicturesofhimholdingthebookopen,takenfromeveryangleanddistance.

Nooneapplaudedbutasenseoftheirdeep,noddingapprovalfilledtheroom.BeforePipercouldleavehismark,thedirectortoldhimtoreadfromthefirstpage.

Piperstudiedthetext.Printedacrossthetopofthepageinalargetypefacewas,“DeclarationofInterdependence.”

Therewerenoprotesters.TheNationalMall,stretchingfromtheCapitolBuildingtotheWashingtonMonument,itshould’vebeenfilledwithprotesters.Milling,chanting,sign-wavinghippy-dippyhordes.Millionsofantiwardemonstrators.Thephonesinhisoffice,theofficeofSenatorHolbrookDanielsonthefifthflooroftheHartSenateOfficeBuilding,thephonesshouldberingingoffthehook.Thephonesweresilent.Noneofthemillionsoffuriousemailshisstaffhadexpectedwereappearinginhissenatorialinbox.

No,theonlysignofactivitywasasmallcrewofconstructionworkers.Fromhishighwindow,SenatorDanielswatchedthemexcavatingawidetrench.ItwasroughlythedimensionsoftwoOlympic-sizedswimmingpoolsplacedend-to-end.TheworkwastakingplaceonthelawnbetweenFirstAvenueandtheCapitolsteps.

Thestupidblue-collarslobsdoingthedigging,thesenatoralmostpitiedthem.Hesettledintoaleatherdeskchairinhisair-conditioned,public-financedinnersanctum.Iftheyweren’tgoingofftodiesoon,theirsonswouldbe.Theirsonsandgrandsonsornephews.Theirapprenticesandtheir

journeymen.Thesurplusmalesofageneration.

WiththevoteontheNationalWarResolutiononlydaysaway,angryandfrightenedAmericansshould’vebeenbeatingdownhisdoor.Nonewere.Notonlywashisofficesilent,buteveryofficeinthebuildingseemedashushedasachurch.HisassistantsandpageshadcheckedwiththeswitchboardandtheITguys.Thephonesandserverswereworking.

HisbestguesswasthatAmericansweretoofracturedalongthefaultlinesofpersonalidentitypolitics.Itseemedthatnoonecaredaboutothersbeingcompelledtogirdtheirloinsandperish.Recentpoliticshadeffectivelybrandedyoungmenasaninternalenemy—perpetratorsofrapeculture,schoolshooters,andneo-Nazis—andmedia-frightenedAmericansweregladtoseethesebadapplesculled.

Themassmediahaddoneitsstate-instructedjobtodemonizedraft-agemen,greasingtheskidsfortheirinduction.

Beforetheendofthisweek,electedfederalofficialswouldvoteunanimouslytoreinstatethemilitarydraftandcommittwomillionyoungmentofightingawarinNorthAfrica.Likewise,theleadersofadozencountriesinWestAfricaandtheMiddleEastwouldpitanequalnumberofyoungmenagainsttheAmericans.

Grimbuttrue,rumorhaditthatthiswouldbethefastestworldwarinhistory.Oncethecombatantsweremusteredalongthebattlefront,athermonuclearstrikewoulderadicateeveryoneinvolved.Anonexistentterroristgroupwouldbeblamedforthenuke,andthewarringnationscouldwithdrawwithnolossofface.Thewarwouldbedeclareda“draw.”

Yetanotherwartoendallwars.

Fromhisofficewindow,Danielsmarveledathowfastthepitwasbeingdug.InD.C.publicworksprojectslastedforyearswhilethepartiesinvolvedlinedtheirpocketswithtaxpayermoney.WhatevermotivatedthecrewjustacrossConstitutionAvenue,ithadtobesomethingbeyondthemonetary.Evenashewatched,theearth-movingequipmentsunkdeeper,almostoutofsight,asthemoundofdirtgrewtalleralongoneedgeofthevasthole.

TheplansforthiswarhadbeenunfoldingsincethefirstoftheMillennialgenerationhadbeenborn.TheCensusBureauhadrecognizedthattheMillennialswouldbethelargestdemographicinnationalhistory.They’dbehealthyandwelleducated,andeventuallythey’dallwantrespectandpower.ThedynamichadplayeditselfoutincountrieslikeRwandaandIvoryCoast,wheresurplusyoungmenhadsparkedcivilwarsuntilthenationalinfrastructurehadbeendestroyedandtheentirepopulationreducedtogrindingpoverty.

Foratime,AmericanofficialshadkeptthelidonthishumanpowderkegbydosingtheboyswithRitalin.Afterthat,peacecameintheformofendlessonlinegamingandpornography—allcovertlysuppliedbygovernmentcontractors.Despitethoseeffortsthisgenerationwaswakinguptoitsmortality.Theywantedmorethandrugged,time-wastingnumbness.

UnlesstheUnitedStatescouldresolveasizableportionofitsrestlessbad-boyproblem,thisnationwouldbedoomedtothesamemiseryasHaitiandNigeria.America’sversionoftheArabSpringwasjustaroundthenextcorner.

Today,theMillennialmaleswerealreadycommittingskyrocketingratesofviolentcrimeinplaceslikeChicago,Philadelphia,andBaltimore.Theywerehackingintostatesecretssoitwasvitaltoimplementthenewwarandpurgetheyouthbulge.Ifthepublicevercaughtwindofthisplan,itmightleadtoarevolution.Familiesfightingtosavetheirsons.Menfightingtosavethemselves.

Asfarastheirlovedonesneedknow,theseyoungmenwoulddieheroes.They’dventureintobattleliketheirforefathersandsacrificetheirlivesforthecomfortandsecurityoftheirfellowAmericansbackhome.

Thesenatorlookeddownontheworkmendiggingawayintheafternoonsun.SweatinginthehumidPotomacsummer.Hesmirked,consideringhowinafewweekstherewouldbeasizablesurplusofwomen.Feminismwouldfadeout,andladieswouldhavetoplayniceorriskdyingaloneandbeingdevouredbytheircats.Lesssocialupheaval,moreavailablebabes.ForSenatorDanielsandmenlikehim,thewarresolutionwasawin-win.

Farbelowhim,thelaborersswarmedlikeants.Likeobedientdronesdoingthebiddingoftheirmaster.

Atlasttherealityoftheirprojectdawnedonthesenator.Itwasobvious.Theywerepreemptivelybuildingamemorialtothesoldierswho’dbedeadbyHalloween.Thiswassomeone’sextremelyefficientidea.Risingfromthatominouspitwouldbeawhite-marbleconfectionofGreco-Romanstatuesandcolumns,theusualemotionallycatharticfrou-frou.Itmadesensetobeginconstructionnow,evenbeforethewarwasdeclared.Thefasterthedeadcouldbehonored,thefastertheycouldbeforgotten.

Herewasanexpeditedshrine.Beingerectedevenbeforethecollegestudentsandpizzadeliveryboysandskateboardersreceivedtheirdraftnotices.Proactively,theirnameswerealreadybeingchiseledintomarbleplaquestohonorthedead.

Nowtheworldmadeperfect,logicalsense.Andslowly,betweenthesoftnessofhisleatherchair,thelulloftheairconditioning,andtheunassailedsilenceofhisoffice,SenatorHolbrookDanielsdriftedtosleep.

Frankie’sdadtoldhimthatsometimesfiremenneedtoburndownabadhouseonpurposeinordertosaveagoodneighborhood.Atypeofback-burn,theycalleditwhenfightingforestfires.

ThefatherandsonhadbeendrivingaroundinthewhiteFireMarshallcarwiththespecialstickeronthebackwindowandtheredlightonthedashboard,exceptthelightwasn’tswitchedon.Theydrovepastspray-paintedhouses,houseswithwoodnailedoverthegonewindows,houseswhereonlyabasementwasleft,likeaswimmingpoolfilledwithweedsandtreesgrowinginside.

TheydrovetoFrankie’soldschoolfrombeforehestartedremotelearningonthecomputerintheirkitchenathome.AfterthedaythatFrankie’sdadcalledtheLastStraw.Afterabunchofkidsdog-piledhimatlunch.Aftertheytookturnsstompinghisheadagainstthelunchroomfloor,somethingFrankiecouldn’tremember,evenaftertheteachershadshownthemthelunchroomvideoandthecameramoviessomekidshadpostedonWorldStarHipHop.

Today,sameasbefore,hisdadbroughtaSuperSoaker,thedeluxemodelwiththebiggertank,madetoshootlongerandfarther.

Firemenhaveaspecialkey,hisdadshowedhim.Itopenseverydoor.Anotherspecialkeyshutsoffthesecurityalarm.HetoldFrankienottomindaboutthesecurityvideos.Thehigh-upcameraswatchedthemgodowneveryhallway,walkingpastFrankie’soldlocker,pastthespotwherenobodydidanythingbesidesvideotapehimgettinghisfacestomped.Anytraceofbloodhadbeenscrubbedaway.

Sameasusual,hisdadworkedthepumpactionontheSuperSoaker,sprayingeverybulletinboardhungwithpaper.Hosingeveryschoolspiritbanner,withthatservicestationsmell.Astheystrolledthehallways,Frankie’sdadsquirt-gunnedthesmelloffillingthelawnmowerandcleaningpaintbrushes.Hesprayedtheceilingtilesuntiltheyweresosaturatedtheywarpedandsagged.

ThiswashissecretrecipeofStyrofoamgrounddowntojustitslittlewhiteballs,dissolvedingasolinewithVaselinestirredintomakeitthick,tomakeitstickysowhenhesprayedthegunkontheceilingitneverdripped,andwhenhesprayeditonwindowglassitdidn’trundown.

He’daddedsomepaintthinnerasasurfactant,hisdadexplained,tobreakthesurfacetensionsotheoozewouldn’tbeadupbutwouldcoateverythingmoreevenly.

ItwassummervacationsoFrankieknewnohamstersorgoldfishlivedinanyclassroom.

Hisdadtookaimandsoakedasecuritycamerathatwasspyingonthem.

Afterthedayofthelunchroombeat-downFrankiecouldn’tremember,hisdadneverlookedathim.IfhisdadlookedinhisdirectionallhesawwasthescarthatnowrandownthesideofFrankie’sface.AredlineshapedlikethecurvededgeofaNikebasketballshoewherethecheekskinhadtorn.Evennowwalkingdowntheemptysummerhallwaylinedwithlockersbutnopadlocks,Frankiecouldfeelhisdadsneaklooksatthescar.Frankie’sdadneversmiledathim,notafterthatday.Hescowled,buthewasscowlingatthescar.Theghostofthatfinallaststomp.Thelastdayinpublicschool.

Liningthehalls,bigpostersshowedsmilingkidsfromeveryplaceontheplanet.Holdinghandsunderarainbowwithcoveringtherainbowthewords“LoveComesinEveryColor.”

Hisdadhosedtheposter.Doingso,thelookonhisdad’sfacewasworsethananyscar.Fromhisexpression,hewantedtobesprayingthisfirejuiceintotheeyesandmouthsofthosekidswho’dlefttheirfootprintsonFrankiefortherestofhislife.

ThewholetimeFrankie’sdadsuper-soakeredtheschoolwalls,heyelledstufflike,“Eatit,culturalMarxism!”And,“Getfucked,vibrantethnicdiversity!”

Hisdadhosedtheposteruntilitsaggedandsliddownthewetwall.Bythenthesoakerwasemptyandhepitcheditalongways,almostallthewaytotheschooloffice.

“Inalittlebit,kid,”saidFrankie’sfather,“I’mgoingtodoyouasolidone.”

Frankiecouldn’tpicturethat.Thekidswho’dkickedhisass,theystillwenthere.Noneofthemhadbeensenthome.Butithelpedtoknowthataftertodaynobodywouldgohere.

“Maybetheycaughtusoff-guardonce,”hisdadsaid,“butwe’llgetourrevenge.”

Frankiefollowedhisdadintoabathroomandwaitedwhilehewashedhishands.

Hisdadsaid,“Nobodyisgoingtoshitonthisfamily,everagain.”

Beforetheywentouttothecar,hisdadtookouthisphoneandplacedacall.Hesaid,“Hello,mayIspeaktoyournewsdirector?”Withonehandheduginhispantspocket.“ThisisFireMarshallBenjaminHugh.We’recurrentlyrespondingtoreportsthattheGoldenParkElementarySchoolisablaze.”Fromhispockethewithdrewabookofmatches.Heendedthecallandplacedanother.

“Hello,mayIspeaktotheCityDesk?”Frankie’sfatherheldthematchesouttohisson.Frankietookthem.Waiting,hisfatherturnedawayfromthephoneandsaid,“Todayisjustpractice.Justtoseehowmanyshowup.”

Intothephone,hesaid,“I’vegottenwordthatarsonistshavestruckanotherlocalschool.”Helistened.“It’sGoldenParkElementary.”

Frankiestoodby,holdingthematches,justashe’dstoodbyatMadisonMiddleSchoolandImmaculateHeartandthethreeschoolsbefore.Frankiefiguredthiswouldbethelastschool,andthathisdadhadonlyburnedtheotherssothisonewouldn’tlookspecial.Whenhisdadwasfinishedwiththelastphonecall,thenFrankieknewwhatcamenext.

Inhisheart,Frankieknewthatthebadpartsoftheworldwouldhavetobeburnedawaytosavethebestparts.

“Frankie,you...,”hisdadkneltinfrontofhimandtookbothofFrankie’ssmallhandsinhisown,saying,“Son,thesedipshitswillpayyoutributefortherestofyourlife!”HeletfalloneofthesmallhandsandreacheduptostrokethescaronthesideofFrankie’sinnocent,trustingface.“Myboy.Youwillgrowtobecomeaking!Andyoursonswillbeprinces!”Heliftedtheonesmallhandhestillheldandputittohisownlips.

Asaspecialtreat,hisfatherletFrankielightthematch.

Afterthattheywentoutsidetocounthowmanyreportersandcameramenwouldshowup.Atfirstitwasonlyacoupletelevisioncrews,butnoweverystationcame,plussomeforeignersintownfortheserialarsonstory.Thenewspapersentateam.Evenahelicopter.Radiostationssentpeople.Frankie’sdadtooknotesandstrategizedhisclearestanglesandbestshots,toseehoweasyhisworkwouldbewhentheactualdaycame.

OnlythendidFrankie’sdaddial9-1-1.

Beforeeverythingyou’vereadsofarinthisbook...beforethisbookwasabook,itwasthedreamofWalterBaines.

Backintheworldyoustillknow...backinBeforeTimes,here’showWalterhadalwaysdreamedofdoingit.

OnShasta’stwenty-fifthbirthdayhe’dsuggesttakingabus,thebusgoinguphill,theonethatmostdayscarrieshermomandtheotherhousecleanerstowork.He’dwearhisluckyLamborghiniscarfevenifit’ssooldit’sturningbackintodirtywool.

Thetwoofthemwouldcatchthelastbusofthenight,followingtheroutepastthathouse.NotthehouseMrs.ShastacleansbuttheonewithScarlettO’Haracolumnsliningthefrontporchandtherooflinesandlightningrodsandred-brickchimneysrisingabovetheancestraloaktrees.It’sthehouseShastahasalwaysgawkedatthewayadogeyeballsasquirrel,likethatpileofbricksandivyisherpornography.OnestoppastthehouseinquestionWalterwouldstepoffthebusandwalkbacktowherethewindowswouldbedark.Whenshepulledaway,he’dgether,tight,aroundone

wristandtug,gently,saying,“It’sasurprise,”leadingherpastastatuethatcreepshimout.

It’samonkeymadeoutofthatmetalwhereifyoutoucheditonacolddayyou’dbetouchingitforever,andanyonewhotouchedyouwouldstickaswouldpeoplewhotouchedthemuntileveryoneintheworldwouldbetrappedtogetherlikeIce-nineinVonnegut.Thelittlestatuebringstomindalittlemonkeydressedasaclown,maybetorideahorseonlywithhisfacepaintedwhite.LikeinJapan.

Walterwouldcrossthedampgrass,beyondtheKabuki-facedmonkey-clownstatuette,pastthelittleyellowsignforthealarmcompany.

Tomarktheoccasion,WalterwouldpullouthisluckypipeandtampthebowlfullofHinduKush.Everthegentleman,he’dofferShastathefirsthit.

He’dpathishippockettodoublecheckforabulge,aroundbulgelikeold-schoolKennedyhalfdollars,likepiratedoubloonsorchocolategeld—inrealityonlygoldfoil-wrappedcondomshismadistributeswholesale.Hisfingertipswouldtracetheoutlineofsomethingelse,coiled,alargercircle,aloopofsomethingtuckeddeepinhisbackpocket.

Walterwouldleadher,shivering,ontotheporch,whereandwhenshe’dhidebehindacolumn,standingsideways-skinnyintheshadows,blockedfromthestreet.She’dbetrustinghimbutbereadytorun.Thenandthere,he’dsay,“Letmegogetyourbirthdaypresent,”andhe’ddisappeararoundthesideofthehouse.

She’llcowerthere,hearingcricketschirpandthehissofin-groundsprinklers.Smellingthisandthat.Thenighttimeaircarriesswimmingpoolchlorineandthevanillafabricsoftenerofbillowingsteamfromsomedryervent.Aprivatesecuritypatrolwillcruisebyplayingitssearchlightoverthehedges.Sinceherfinger-paintingdays,thishousehasstoodhere,filledwithhistory,neverchanging,aplacewhereshecouldneverimaginefeelingafraid.Hereandnowshe’shuggingherselfbehindacolumn,lookingonherphoneforataxi,surfingtheNeighborhoodWatchsitestoseeifanyone’sreportedtwoprowlers.

Thefrontdoorcreaksopen.Asifbyitself,thepaneled,white-painteddoorwillswingasideonitsbrasshinges.Nightmareslow.Beforeshecanboltdownthesteps,comesawhisperfromthedarknessinsidethefronthallway,Walter’svoicewhispering,“HappyBirthday,Shasta.”

Walterwilledgehisheadoutuntiltheporchlightputsawhitemaskonhisface,waveahandforhertocomeinside.He’llwhisper,“It’sokay.”

She’llstandtherebetweenthefearshefeelsandwhatshewantsmost:theendofallfear.

He’llsay,“Hurry.”

She’llgivetheempty,darkstreetonelastlookandstepinside.

He’llshutthedoor.Thetwoofthemwillkissuntilhereyesadjustsoshecanlookaroundinthehalf-light.Takenoteofthebrasschandelierholdingaforestoffakecandlesabovetheirheads.Checkoutthestairwaycurvingdown,outofthedarkness.Thecarved,leather-scentedwoodofeverything.Fromsomewhere,Walterwillhearaclockticking,loudagainstthesilence.Littlesmearsoflightwillbounceoffaswinging,polishedsilverpendulum.Flickerinshadesofblueoffthemirroraboveafireplace.

ThethingaboutShastaisthetasteofhermouth.Inhisexperienceagirlcanbebeautifulwithallthetitsintheworld,longlegsandabuttonnose,butabad-tastingmouthmakesheronlyasgoodasporn.Shasta,theinsideofhermouthremindshimofhigh-fructosecornsyrup,likesoakingMaraschinocherriesstewedwithred#5andgelatinuntilhertonguehasthemouth-feelofaHostessfruitpieflakingsugarlikeababysnakesheddingitssweet,dead,sweetskin.UntileveryFrenchkissishimdeep-throatingasemi-molten,sugar-coatedsnake,likealittlegartersnakeoragardenvarietybrownboa.LikeWalter’smouthislockedovernightinadeliciouscombinationreptilehouseandDanishpastryshop.

She’llwhisperaboutthealarmsystem,andhe’llpointupward.Hergazewillfollowhisarmtoacameramountedhighononewall.Whenandwherehe’llgiveherasilentthumbs-up,A-Okay.He’llexplainthathehackedthesystem.Beforetheyevenboardedthebus,Walterdeactivatedeverything,remotely.Hefoundawindowunlockedintheback.He’dbeenplanningthisforweeks.Noonewilleverknowtheywerehere.

Asirrefutableevidencethathe’smorethanaslack-jawed,single-digitbraincellburner,he’llexplain

aboutnetworkenumerationandexploitation.Walterwillboastabouthisgeniuscryptographickeyswhileleadinghertowardthestairs.

Shastawillbeheeldragging,whisperingabouthomeownerswithshotguns.Aboutstand-your-groundlaws.

Ifanyonecatchesthem,Walterwillpromisetolie.He’llswearthatheluredherheretostrangleher.He’saserialkiller.He’sgotvictimsburiedinshallowgravesallovertheAmericanWest.He’llpretendtoajurythathe’dtoldherthiswashishouse.He’dplannedtoeatFrootLoopsoutofthebowlhe’dmakefromherskull.Usingherblood,he’dwriteHelterSkelterontheglassdooroftheSub-Zerowinecooler.Asanalmost-butcheredwoman,she’llgetoffscotfree.

Walterwillsaythathe’salreadysnoopedaround.Noone’shome.He’llreachintohisbackpocketandshowherthecoilofthinwire.It’sreadyforwhenthepolicefriskhim:Agarrote,forstranglingher,withasmallwoodenpegattachedtoeitherendsohecanpullittight.It’sherget-out-of-jail-freecard.Seeingcondomsandamurderweaponwillbealltheinsurancepolicyshe’llneed.Shecanrelax.

Sexissex,butsexplusdangerisgreat.TheloomingthreatofbeingserialkilledorgettingjailtimewillbringdownherjuicesfasterthangreenM&M’s.Thebothofthematangledknot,he’llgoatituntilthey’rehalfdead.They’llchristeneveryroom.Ifthere’sasafe,behindapaintingorasecretpanelinthewall,Walterwillfindit.He’llpresshisearnearthedialandlistentothetumblersspin.Beforeshesaysnotto,he’llthrowthehandleandopentheheavydoor,takingonlyenoughcashfortwofirst-classone-wayticketstoDenver.

InDenver,he’lltakeheronanotherbusridetowherebighousessitfarapart.He’llshowheronhisphonehowhereverse-engineeredthesecuritymonitoringsoftware,howeasy,andshe’llfollowhimaroundthesidesofahouseuntiltheyfindawindowunlatched.

Beforehereandnow,she’sonlyknownhimassomebakedchode.Ahammerednobodywhocanonlyaffordditchweedshakefullofseedsandstems.Helivesinhisma’sbasement,wheretheplumbinggrowlslikeastomachlikethesoundofanimpendingbadsmell.Shastalikeshimokay,butnotsomuchthatshe’dmarryhim.

ByDenver,she’sboughtintohissecretRobinHoodbad-boyside.Thewayhecanopendoors—abracadabra—andhumantrafficthetwoofthemintorich,forbiddenworlds.Aftertheymakeloveonabearskinrugandthrowthegoopycondomintoaroaringfireinastonefireplaceunderacrystalchandelier,aftertheydrinkstolenwineandshewashestheglassesandputseverythingback,thenhe’lllocateanothersafe.Thisone,hiddenunderthefalsebottomofaseeminglyemptybathroomcabinet,he’llhaveitopeninaflashandwithdrawjustthemoneytheyneedtoflytoChicago.

Thatbad-boyWalterwillcompletelywinherover.ChicagowillbearepeatofDenver.MinneapoliswilltakethemtoSeattle.Asasignofhernewfoundaweandrespect,shestartsreferringtohisjunkasthePenisdeMilo.InMinneapolissheslipsupandcallshim“daddy.”SeattleleadstoSanFrancisco,wherethey’llsneakpastthedoormanatsomeartdecoskyscraperthatthey’lljusthappentobepassingonenight.He’llhacktheelevatorcodeandridetothepenthouse.Usinghisphone,he’llshowhertheviewfromeverysecuritycameratoprovenobody’shome.WhileShastastandslookoutneartheelevator,he’lltripthelocks,thenhurryherinside.He’llremindheroftheback-upscenario.Him:Serialkiller.Her:Victim.Thetwoofthem,outlaws.Thenextdaythey’llbestrollingalongadockinSausalitowherehetargetsayacht.Theytakeitoutintothebay,notsailing,he’snotthatmuchofashow-off.He’llusethemotorandspendasunnydayonthewater.Onthedeck,catchingsomerays,she’llsay,“Showme,again.”Thenandtherehe’llpullthecoiledwireoutofhispocketanddemonstratehoweasilyitfitsaroundherneck.Justtogiveherpeaceofmind.

AlockerwillyieldanarrayofbikinisallinperfectSizeShasta.He’sneitheratitmannoralegmansoshe’shisphysicalideal,stretchedoutonadeckchair,suckingdownDurbanPoisonuntilherskinburnsthecolorofdeepdishchilicheesePepperoniStix.Thatsameevening,he’llmoortheyachtandlookforanewsafe,thisonehiddenbyaspicerackcamouflagedbehindapanelinthegalley.ThemoneyhefindswillgetthembothdowntoSanDiego.

Stillthey’retrespassersinparadise.Shemightbehavingaball,touringtheglamorouslifewithMr.DoucheDanger.Butshe’llnevermarryhim,andheknowsthat.

Aslongashervacationtimeholdsout,they’llhopfromSanDiegotoNewOrleanstoMiami.Inawaterfrontvilla,they’llbemakinglove.Inacanopybedbesidebigwindowsthatlookoutontheoceanunderafullmoon.Notaminuteafterthey’vetakeneachothertoHeavenandback,the

bedroomdoorswillburstopen.UniformedmentraintheirsidearmsonShasta.Thelightsblazebright,andshescreams,clutchingdampsheetsoverhernakedbody.NotlikeWalterpracticed,notexactly,shescreams,“He’saserialkiller,”meaninghim.Shescreams,“Hetoldmehelivedhere.”Somuchforheractingskills.Shesays,“Heplannedtostrangulateme!”

Avoiceamongtheuniformsyells,“Police!”Commands,“Putyourhandswherewecanseethem!”

Thisishowitends,theircross-countrycrimespree.BonnieandClydewithoutthebodycount.Withthespitstillwetoneachother,he’llclimboutofbedandfindhispants.He’llshowthepolicehisdriver’slicense.Keepinghishandsintheair,hispeckerstillstuckoutsoharditshines,stillwavingthefilledcondomlikealittlewhiteflag,he’llcrosstheroomtoanelegantantiqueFrenchdesk.

She’llstillbeinbed,openlyweeping,saying,“ThankGod,thankyou!Hecallsthislove,butheplanstodestroyme!”

Thepolicewon’tallowWaltertoactuallyopenthedeskdrawersohe’lldirectanofficertodoso.Revealedwithin,lyingontopinplainsight,willbeadeedofpropertyownership.Onit,notarizedanddulyrecordedinallpublicrecordswillbethesamenameasonthedriver’slicense.Hisname.Whereandwhen,intheelegantintonationsofalandedaristocrat,he’llexplain,smiling,naked,“Officers,Iownthishouse.”

Inthebed,theweepingwillstop.Shasta’svoicewillask,“Huh?”Thetwoofthemhadbeendrinkingredwine,andtheedgeofherglasswillhaveleftathin,redSalvadorDalimustachecurvingupfromthecornersofhermouth.

He’llexplain.Heownedeverything.InDenver,inSeattle,everyhouseishis.Heknewthecodes,thecombinationstothesafes.Thecashhetookwashisown.Heleftthewindowsunlockedandtippeddoormentolooktheotherway.Eventheyachtandthebikinis.Secretly,Walterdialed9-1-1tobringthecopsatthis,theperfectmoment.

Blithely,he’llpulloffthecondomandcastitside.Notonlyisheabrashbad-boydouchebagwiththestealthandcunningtoskatethroughlifeandshowagirlagoodtime,he’salsorich.He’llbethesameoldWaltershelikedbefore,onlyloaded.Theregularhim,butwithsomuchmoretolove.

Withthepoliceofficerslookingon,theirgunslowered,himstillnaked,hernaked,he’llkneelonthefloornearhispants.He’llreachintothepocketwherethegarroteishiddenandbringoutaring.He’llask,“Willyoumarryme?”

Abigdiamondring.

Thereandthen,acrewofcatererswillarrivewithchocolate-dippedstrawberriesandMountainDew–flavoredDoritoswithgarlicpopcornandextraranchdressingontheside.He’llfireupabig,juicypartybowlpackedwithNewPurplePower,andeventhecopswillgreedilypartake.ForthehoneymoonhimandShastawilllivehappilyeverafteronatropicalisleheowns,reforestedwithfieldsofWhiteRhino.Eitherthereormaybeunderageodesicdometerrariumsunkonthebottomoftheoceanwithself-contained,recyclingeverything,surroundedbyanever-changinggalaxyofcolorfultropicalsealife.

Whateverthecase,thisishowhe’llpropose.

There’snotenoughofhim,notyet,toconstituteanyone’severything.Whathehastodois,first,makeashit-tonofmoney.

TweedO’Neillandhercrewbeatthefirstenginecompanytotheragingschoolinferno.Ofcourse,theFireMarshallwasalreadyonthescene.Othertelevisionnewscrewsweresoontofollow,aligningtheirsatellitehook-ups,eachanglingforthebestviewoftheblaze.Itwasthecity’sfourthschooltogoupinflamesrecently.Everyoutletworkedfromthesamepressreleases,butthistimeTweedhadbroughtasecretweapon.

EnterDr.RamanthaSteiger-DeSoto,aseniorprofessorinGenderStudiesattheuniversity.Theladydoctorwasawell-spoken,camera-friendlyeggheadwithherownuniquespinonserialarson.

Tweedhadtextedthedoctorfromthetelevisionstudio,andthetwometupatthecrimesceneasflamesleapthighintothesky.Withthegymnasiumcollapsingslowlybehindthem,sendingupbrightgeysersofsparksandembers,Tweedblockedouttheinterview.Sheandthedoctorstoodatasafedistanceasthecameramanadjustedhisfocusandthesoundtechnicianwiredamicrophonetothelapelofthedoctor’sAnnTaylortrenchcoat.

ThroughherearpieceTweedcouldheartheanchorsdiscussingthefire.Inamomentthey’dthrow

theaudiencetoher,live,onlocation.Sheeyedhercompetition.Nonehadbroughtanythingnewtothestory.TheyweremerelypassingtheFireMarshallfromset-uptoset-up,andhewasgivingeachoutletthesamelistofofficialfacts.

Thedoctorappearedunfazedbythebrightcameralightsandthebillowing,acridsmoke.Someonehadsuggestedarumoredpropanetank,possiblyrelatedtotheschool’skiln,wasliabletoexplodeatanyinstant.NeverthelessDr.Steiger-DeSotolookeddeterminedtovoicehertheoryaboutrecentevents.Standingtall,almostaheadtallerthanTweed,herfrizzyblondehairwastiedupinasensiblebun.Shelookedeveryinchtheno-nonsensesociologistwhostoodreadytoenlightenthetelevisionviewers.

Thecameramanshoulderedhissteadycamandsignaled3-2-1withhisfingers,finallypointingtoindicatethey’dgonelive.

“TweedO’Neillhereatthesceneofyetanotherthree-alarmfire,”Tweedbegan.“Markingthedestructionofafourthlocalschoolthissummer.”

Thecameramanwidenedtheshottoincludebothwomen.

“WithmetonightisDr.RamanthaSteiger-DeSototopresentinsightintothemotivefortheserecentfires.”Tweedturnedtotheelegantacademic.Shetossed,“Yourthoughts,doctor?”

Thedoctorwasn’tfazedbytheattention.“Thankyou,Tweed.”Shefacedthecamerafull-on.“Federalcriminalprofilingshowstheaveragearsonisttobeawhitemalebetweentheagesofseventeenandtwenty-six.Forthisman,theactoffiresettingissexualinnature...”

Asifoncuetherumoredpropanetankexplodeddeepwithinthebuilding,aconcussiveboom-BOOMthatelicitedadeepmoanfromthecrowdpresent.

Thedoctorcontinued,“Forthepyrophiliac,theactofsprayingliquidaccelerantequatestoexpressinghissexualejaculateinasymbolicdegradingrapeofthestructure...”

Collapsingfireandsexmeantratingsgold,butTweedworriedthatthedoctor’slanguagewastoohighbrow.Shetriedtoredirect.“Butwho...?”

Thedoctornoddedsagely.“Self-isolatingmen.Right-wingadherentspoisonedbythetoxicmasculinityoftheso-calledMenGoingTheirOwnWaymovement.Theseareyourculprits.”

Tweedtriedtolightenthetone.“SoMaureenDowdwasright?”shejoked.“Thathavingmenaroundisjusttoohighapricetopayforsperm?”

Thedoctorsmiledweakly.“Forgenerationspopularculturehasbeenpromotingtheideathatallmenwilleventuallyattainhigh-statuspositionsinsociety.Globally,today’syoungmaleshavebeenraisedtofeelentitledtopowerandadmirationasabirthright.”

Tweedknewthestationwascominguponahardbreak.Tocapthesegment,sheasked,“Doctor,howcanwebestdealwithtoday’stroubledyoungmen?”

Backedbythehellishglareofflames,thedoctorproclaimed,“Meningeneralneedtoaccepttheirdiminishedstatusintheworld.”Againstabackdropofsmokeandshouting,sheadded,“Theimpendingwar,forexample,willbeanexcellentopportunityforthemtoearntheacclaimtheycrave.”

Tweedtossedtocommercial.“Thankyou,doctor.ThisisTweedO’Neillatthepointlessdestructionofanothercommunitylandmark.”

Thecameramansignaledthefeedhadcut.

Thedoctorfumbledwithherclip-onmic.Suddenlypensive,sheasked,“What’shedoing?”Sheglaredatsomethinginthemiddledistance.

Tweed’sgazefollowedhers.BothwomenlookedattheFireMarshall.Tweed’simpressionwasthathewastakingaheadcount.Hisattentionseemedtosettleforamomentoneachofthejournalistspresent,andheseemedtobecheckingthemoffalistheheld.Hiseyesmethers.Hishandholdingapendrewalinethroughsomethingonthepaperheldinhisoppositehand.

OnlynowdidTweednoticethelittleboy.Agradeschool–agedchildwithastrangediscoloredmarkrunningdownonesideofhisface.Thentherealitystruckher:Itwassocute.TheDistrictFireMarshallhadbroughthisownlittlesontowatchDaddyatwork.WatchingthetwoTweedmadea

mentalnotetospinthattouchingfather-and-sonmomentintoafeel-goodstoryshecouldpeddletonetworkprogrammers.

ForGarretDawsonitwasthecoffeefilters.Inthekitchen,workingtheMr.Coffee,hefoundtheywerealmostoutoffilters,again.Anotherfivehundredpotsofcoffeegone,anotheryear,morethanayear.

Hewasgrowingold.Garrethadrealizedthatfactwhenhemadeitahabittolookatsomething—ahouseplant,aclock,abook—beforelookingathiswife,Roxanne.Ifhewasattendingapartyandtalkingtoaprettyyoungwoman,somebody’steenageddaughter,forinstance...orevenwatchingabeautifulwomanreadthenewsoncabletelevision...andhelookedfromhersmoothfacedirectlyatRoxanne,itwastoojarring.Inherdayhiswifehadbeenbeautiful,butshewasnolongeryoung.Thusheneededabufferbetweenlookingatsomeoneyouthfulandlookingather.Anashtrayorapipewrench,somethingnot-human.

Atthesametimehenoticedherlookingfromhandsomeactorsinmovies,focusingonherpopcornbeforedirectingherattentionathim.Itmight’vebeenhisimagination.Aprojectionbasedonhisownbehavior.Butitremindedhimthathewasalsogettingolder.

TheTalbottbookputitsowell:

Beautifulpeoplebecomepowerfulbecausetheyrecognizethenatureofpower,early,andfearlosingit.Peoplebeautifulintheiryouthlearntotransferpowerbyinvestingitinsubsequentforms.Theytradetheiryouthforeducation.Theireducationtheyinvestindevelopingcontactsandexpertisein

askill.Theirmoneytheyinvestinredundantformsofpower,back-upresources.

Thatiswhyanexpiringformofmoneyiscrucial.Powerpassedfromgenerationtogenerationintheabstractformofwealthleadstoprivilegeandcorruption.Moneymustnotbehoardedforitsown

sakebutmustbecontinuallyemployedforafruitfulpurpose.

Thecoffeefilterswerethelaststraw.Atthemachineshop,Leonhadcomeathimwithsomecockamamieplantoseizecontrolofthegovernmentandreshapethenation.Itsoundedbogus,butatthispointanythingsoundedbetterthanbuyinganotherfivehundredcoffeefiltersandwatchingthemcountdownhisfinalyears.Hepouredgroundcoffeeintothelastfilterandfilledthemachinewithwater.Heflippedtheswitchtostartbrewing.CallingouttoRoxanneintheotherroom,hesaid,“Coffeereadyinasec.”Headded,“I’mgoingoutforaminute.”

He’dgiveLeonacall.Meethimdownbythetavern.Findoutifthisharebrainedschemewasafor-realproposition.Leonhadgivenhimtheblue-blackbook,whichsaid:

Imaginethere’snoGod.ThereisnoHeavenorHell.Thereisonlyyoursonandhissonandhisson,andtheworldyouleaveforthem.

Roxannecalledfromthediningroom,askingwherehewasheaded.

Ashepulledonhiscoat,hecheckedthepocketsforhiskeysandphone.Hesteppedintothedoorway,whereshesatatthedinnertable,somekindoftaxformsspreadoutinfrontofher.Heanswered,“Weneedcoffeefilters.”

Afteralongpullofsilence,notlookingup,sheasked,“Already?”Garretcouldhearthedefeatinhervoice.Lifewasgoingbyjustasquickforher.Anotherreasontoexploresomeradicaloptions.

Leaningover,hewhispered,“Igotithandled.”Andhekissedherontheforehead.

Therehadbeentheageofreligionwhencitiesweredominatedbytheircathedralormosque.Thedomesandspireshaddwarfedeverystructurethatcoweredaroundthem.Thenhadcometheageofcommerce,andtheskyscrapersofbusinessandflutedcolumnsofbankshaddwarfedthechurches.Factoriesoutgreweventhelargestmosques,andwarehousesovershadowedtemples.Mostrecentlyhadbeguntheageofgovernmentwhenthebuildingsregulatingciviclifehadexplodedonthehorizon.Thesewerevastmonolithscontainingapowerthatreligionandcommercecouldonlydreamofwielding.Thesewereopulentvesselsforprotectingandshowcasingthemightoflawgiversandjudges.

InthefinalweeksbeforetheAdjustment,itwasintothesegreatfortressesthatordinarypeopleventured,pretendingtobeawed,wanderingaroundasiftheyweremerelysightseers.Theysnappedphotographsandpretendedtobelostsotheycouldwanderintorestrictedareasandclaim

innocencewhentheywereapprehendedandaskedtoleave.Theymappedpossibleescaperoutestheywouldneedtobar.Andtheydeterminedthelocationsthatwouldgivethemthemost-clearlinesoffire.

Andastheymarveledbeneaththechandeliersandcranedtheirneckstoseethegloryofthemuralsandthegildedribsoftheloftydomes,theyknewthatfoodhadbuiltthis.Foodthatcould’vebeeneaten.Foodthathadbeentakenfromthem.Andsecurityhadbuiltthesemarbledstairways,securitythatcould’vebeentheirs.Andtheirliveshadbeensiphonedawaysothatthesewallscouldbepaneledwithpolishedmahogany,androsewood,stuffshippedfromaroundtheworldtoaddtothecomfortandpleasureoftherulingelite.Thesehillbilliesandrubeswiththeirslack-jawed,hang-dogexpressions,theypretendedrespect,andtheyactedoutadmirationforthesegrandstatehousesandthegrandpotentateswhoorchestratedtheirlivesfromwithin.

Theywhisperedonetotheother.Theymappedwithvideo.Theybegantoseethemselvesdoingthecoldtasktheyhadsettheirmindsondoing.

Andallknewthetruth:Hoardfoodanditrots.Hoardmoneyandyourot.Hoardpowerandthegovernmentrots.

Insteadofeverystupidpersonhavingonevote,thesmartest,bravest,most-boldwouldhaveonehundredorthreehundredoronethousandvoteswhiletheweakandlazyhadnone.Nolongerwouldthemostproductivebeslavestotheidle.Theidlewouldbemadetowork.

Ontip-toetheytrickledintothehallsofpower.Statelyedificestheirsweathaderectedandtowhichthey’dfortoolongsentthemselvesbyproxy.Theycameaswitnessestosurveythenoblesettingswheretheirliveswouldeitherbeginorend.

Whentheygazedupintothesoaringgranitevaultsordownattheacresofpolishedmarbletheyfelttinyandweak.Butwhentheycrammedintothespectatorsgallery,elbowtoelbow,kneetoknee,formingasinglemass,andtheysurveyedthethinnumbersofthedulyelected,theyfeltinvincible.

Theybridledatbeinggroupedintosmallherdsandherdedbyelderlytourguideswhodictatedbyrotethepoliticallyapprovedmeaningofeachflagandstatue.Theydaredtopicturethegreatchandeliersshottopieces.Theypicturedthegallerieswitheverypaintingslashedandallthestatuarytoppledinajumbletosuggestamassgraveofstoneheadsandseveredfingers.

Theyclosedtheireyestobetterenvisionthetallwindowsofthestatehouseorcourthouseshatteredandsparrowsbuildingnestsintherotunda’sgildedcornicesandniches.

Themedialabeledthissurgeofthecuriousasanuptickinpatriotism.Areengagementofcitizenswiththeirnation.Andonthatcountthemediawascorrect,butnotinthewaytheyassumed.Themediadepictedthepeopleaspilgrimssupplicatingthemselvesbeforetheirbetters.Andthemediaforesawagrowingfutureofpeaceandcooperation,andonthiscounttheywerealsocorrectbutnotinthewaythey’danticipated.

Fortheirpart,thesenewcomerskepttheireyesloweredandfeignedtimidity.Inkeepingwiththeirlowpositionasplainpeopletheysteppedasideindeferenceaseventhelowliestusherorinternschargedthroughtheirranks.

Inthelastdays,thetouristsfloodedintoeverybuildingofgovernment.Then,asifaswitchhadbeenflipped,thegawkershadceased.Thehallswereemptyexceptforthosewhodidbusiness.Theyexchangednodsandshookhandswiththeguardsonduty.Thoseinuniformandthoseinstreetclothesagreeingwiththeireyesaboutwhatneededtohappen.Allpartiesinconspiracytowardtheonedaythey’dacttogether.

Nonebutthesecurityguardtreatedthesepeoplewithrespectbecauseonlytheguardsandpeaceofficersrecognizedfromwhencetherealpowerofthenationarose.

Fornow,crouchedinthestoragespaceunderneaththesouthstairs,Nicksaid,“Idon’tknow.Iusedtolovethepolice.”Theyleanedagainstawallofboxescrammedwitholdbanduniforms.Goldbraidshowedthroughwherethecardboardhadsplit.Brassbuttonsglowedliketreasureinthedimlight.

Shasta’slegswerecramping.Mostlikelytheywerebreathingasbestosandcancerouschalkdust.Talcumpowderwaschalk,andtalccausedcervicalcancer.Theworldteeteredonthebrinkofwar,butShastalikedithere.Thigh-to-thighwithNick.Talkingfeltreal.Nothingimportanteverhappenedoveratelephone.

Thetruth,Nicksaid,usedtobeeasytofind.Thetruthwasinsidethenewspaperuntilitprintedan

obituaryforNick’sdad.Itsaid,“Abelovedhusbandandfather,thedeceaseddiedasaresultofacerebralhemorrhoid...”Thewebpickedupthetypoanditranasahumorpieceonhundredsofnewssites.Evenbecomingameme,typicallyapictureofRonaldReaganorGoreVidalbracketedwiththewordsDiedofa...alongthetopmarginofthepicture,andrunningalongthebottom,...cerebralhemorrhoid!!

Thewordeveryonewaslookingforwashemorrhage;Nick’sfatherhadbeenmowingthelawnwhenananeurysminhisbrainhadburst.Justthatoneword,andthenewspapercouldn’tgetitright.

Shastatookpityonhim.Shetriedtoexplain.

Dr.BrollyinMethodsoftheMedia,he’dexplainedhowmodernprintjournalism,dailynewspaperreporting,whatwethinkofwhenwethinkofobjective,thatbalancedtruthwaskilledbyCraigslist.CraigslistandMonsterandBackpageandeBay.Newspaperprofitshadalwayscomefromthesaleofclassifiedads.Thosepagesandpagesofpuppiesforsale,apartmentsforrent,usedcars,jobs,andSWMseekingSWF,thosehadbeenthefoundationuponwhichrestedthemassiveedificeoftheFourthEstate.

Allofthoseadsforgaragesalesandyardsalesandseal-pointSiamesekittens,thosepeopleseekingtobuyWWIIsouvenirsorFiestawareorsplit,seasonedfirewood,thoseweretheunderpinningsoftheoldestpoliticaldynasties.Atanickeloradollarperword,thosepageshadbeenthegoldminethathadfinancedthehighculture.TheeditorialsandbookreviewsandinvestigativereportingthatwasawardedPulitzerPrizes.AccordingtoDr.Brolly,ourbrightest,most-eruditeobservationsowedtheirexistencetopoorpeopletryingtounloadvintageAvoncolognebottlesandunwantedtimeshares.

“Moviesexist,”Dr.Brollytoldeveryclass,everyyear,“becausemoviesenabletheaterstochargeyoufivedollarsforpopcorn.”HispointwasthatworthlesspopcornsupportedtheglitteringworldofmoviestarsandtheAcademyAwards.Inthesamewaysingle,worthlesswordsprintedforafewdollarsperdayhadsupportedthecolossalnewspaperempires.

Withthepassingofnewspapersthecredibilityofeverythingcameintoquestion.Noonewasdictatingorarguingeffectively,definingqualityfromcrap,truthfromlies.Withoutagatekeeper,anarbiter,everythinghadequalvalue.

Dr.BrollyhadmadethemreadTheSiblingSocietybyRobertBly.Thebooksaidmodernsocietyhadlostitstraditionalhierarchy.Beitthepatriarchorthematriarch,mothersandfathershadbeenreducedtothesamestatusastheirchildren.Noonewantedtobeanadult,andpeoplewerefriends,peers,equals,ratherthanteachersandstudents.Reducedtosiblings.

Thisflatteningofthesocialhierarchy,Brollypredicted,wouldleadtopopulism.Insteadofafewenlightenedsages,vastnumbersofpeopleswayedbyemotionandgreedwouldseizethereinsofpower.

Belowthestairs,Nickinterrupted,“Youknowhe’sstonedallthetime?”

Shastaasked,“RobertBly?”

Nickshookhishead.“Dr.Brolly.”Andtoldaboutseeingatransdermalpatchstucktohisback,wherehisT-shirtpulledoutofhispants.BrollyworethesameT-shirteveryMay1st.Itwaswhiteexceptforunderthearmsandhadthewords“ParlorPinko”printedonthefrontinred.Itmeanthewasafag,peoplesaid.ThepatchwasFentanyl.Otherdayshewore“LimousineLiberal”or“ChampagneSocialist.”

EverykidattheUniversityofOregoncouldrecognizeaFentanylpatchoraPercocetseenfromouterspace.

Crouchedinthedustyspaceunderthestairs,Nickcountedonhisfingersthethingshe’dputhisfaithin.SantaClaus,theEasterBunny,theToothFairy,religion,thedailyOregonian,thegovernment,Dr.Brolly,andthepolice.Inschool,historychanged,geographychanged.Themomentafteryoupassedatest,thefactsyou’dlearnedwereobsolete.Nowhedidn’tknowwhattotrust.Hewantedtocheckhistelephonemessagesbutdidn’twanttoriskinstallingthebatteryandactivatinganyformoflocatingdevice.

Shastacheckedherphone.NowordfromWalter.Neitherhadhismomtextedback.Shewonderedifjustagirlfriendcouldfileamissingpersonsreport.Itsoundedlame.Thetruthalwaysdid.Butsheoffered,“Maybeweallneedtostarttrustingourselves.”

Tomakemattersworse,sheadded,“Maybeyouneedtotrustyourself.”

Nickscowledatheruntilshelookedaway.Hisvoicegotintense.“Tellme,”hedemanded,“everythingWalterknewaboutthisbigconspiracy.”

AfterPiperhadreadforthepart,thecastingcommitteehaddismissedtheotheractors.Thejobseemedasgoodashis.Stillthecommitteeconferred.Toassurethemselves,they’dgivenhimfragmentstoread.Platitudes,really.Forinstance,“Wemustdiscardpastmeasurementsandinventforourselveswhataminuteis...”Thesewerehandwrittenoncuecardsandheldnearthecamera.Anactor’sjobwastomaketheunrealbelievable.Tospinimaginarystrawintotangiblegold.

“Moments,”Piperread,“arethebuildingblocksofourlives.Andourlifetimesmustnotbemeasuredinweekends.OurtimeonEarthmustnotbejudgedbywagesearnedandtaxespaid.”

Acrewmemberreplacedthecuecard,andPiperread,“ThisisTalbottReynolds,absolutemonarchappointedbytheCouncilofTribes.”

Thedirector,theman,Rufus,askedforanothertake.“ThisisTalbottReynolds,”Piperintoned,“absolutemonarchappointedbytheCouncilofTribes.”

Thecastingcommitteeputtheirheadstogetherinconference.Thedirectoraskedforanothertake.Alightertone,morejovialthisgo-round.

Piperputasmileinhisvoice.“ThisisTalbottReynolds,”heliftedhisbrowslightlytogivehisfaceamore-openappeal,“absolutemonarchappointedbytheCouncilofTribes.”

Theychangedthecardsandhadhimread,“ArticleSevenoftheDeclarationofInterdependence.”

Hoardfoodanditrots.Hoardmoneyandyourot.Hoardpowerandthenationrots.

Theyrewoundtherecordingandwatchedhisdeliveryasecondandthirdtime.Theynoddedasifinmutualagreement.Theyreplacedthecuecardwithanother,saying,“Youarenotgoingtogetlovedbybeinglovable!!”

Nodding,thedirectorsaid,“Withthedoubleexclamation.”Headded,“Please.”

“Weneglectourowndestiny,”thenextcardsaid,“whileweimposeanarbitrarydestinyuponothers.Doingsoweruinbothourownlivesandtheirs.”

ToPiperitwasallgobbledygook,buthedeliveredeachspeechwithsolemndignity.Heread,“Eachofusmustpursuehisorherowndestinyandallowotherstopursuetheirs.”Heread,“Outofrespect,wemustnotdictatetheprogressorthegoalsofothers.”

Ahulkingbrutewhosmelledofgunsmoke,likefireworksandgasoline,approachedandusedafoldedpapernapkintodelicatelydabthesweatfromPiper’sforehead.

Thecrewreplacedthecardwithanother.Again,“ThisisTalbottReynolds,theabsolutemonarchappointedbytheCouncilofTribes.”Thetakewasruinedwhenhisstomachgrowled.

Thistime,thedirectororderedPipertoreadthecapitalizedlettersasiftheywerecapitalized.

Piperwingedit,“ThisisTalbottReynolds,aristocratsupreme,headhoncho,grandwizard,theabsolutemonarch...”Hedraggeditoutforever.

Inthesamewaythepeoplecametopayspecialhomagetothefinaldaysoftheirgovernment,theygatheredforlong,lastlooksatotherrelics.Theystoodincrowdssupervisingtelevisioncrewsbroadcastingfromcrimescenes.Andthereporterswereinwardlyflatteredandfeltthemselvestobecelebrated.Andthereportersfeltsmuginwhatseemedtobeproofoftheirrespectedauthorityintheworld.Likewise,thecrowdsflockedtowhattheyknewtobethefarewelllecturesbyesteemedacademics,andthosemuch-laudedlaureatestooksuchattentivemobstobeacompliment.Andtheseprofessorsfeltthefuture,forthefirsttimeinmanyyears,mightbeanimprovement.Andboththejournalistsandthelecturersweremistaken.

Forschoolinghadgiventhepeopleverylittleinexchangefortheirmoney.Andthemediahadgivennothinginexchangeforthepeople’stimeandattention.

Andnowwhenthecrowdscametowitnessthem,itwaswithbitternessandpity.Otherswatchedwithmorbidcuriosityandsadness,thewaytheymightlookuponthelastpassengerpigeoninexistence.Forthepeopleknewthesewerethefinaldaysofsuchinstitutions,andaneventwouldsoonoccurthatwoulddividethepresentfromthefuture.Theystudiedthetwilightofsuchprofessionssotheymightdescribethemtotheirchildren,someday.

Withnostalgiathepeoplestaredatthehollowpowerofthestatesman,thejournalist,andtheprofessor,andthepeoplesilentlybidthemfarewell.

FromoutsidePrinceLucienCampbellHall,toJamalstandingonthequad,thevenerableoldbuildinglookedlikethemodelforPoe’sHouseofUsher.Ofquaintandantiquedesign,ittoweredintotheStygiannighttimesky.Amellowrainbowofgreenandgoldglowedthroughonedistantsetofstained-glasswindows,andathreadofsmokespiraledupfromonlyonecrumblingchimneypottosuggestbutasinglelate-nightoccupant.

JamalmotionedforKeishauntogofirst,andthetwomenpushedpastthestout,heavilycarvedoakendoor,itsironhingescrustedredwithrust.Astheymadetheirwayinside,fallenplastercrunchedundertheirtread.Theflutterofbatwingsreeledthroughtheshadowsabovetheirbaseballcaps.Mountedatintervalsalongthewalls,theelaborategildedsconcesofabygoneepochthrewoffweakillumination,flickeringandpallidasgaslamps.

Thetwonavigatedthewarrenofnarrowhallways.Thesteep-pitchedflightsofstairs.Theybravedthegrimatticodorsofdustandsoot.ThestoneandtimberofthegreatstructureheldasilencesocompleteitmadeJamal’shungryearshallucinate.Inthesilenceheheardwords,spokenwords,ahushedjumbleoffaintvoiceslikerushingwater,likeanaudienceofphantomswhisperinginthosedankapartments.

Oneclusteroffetidroomsgavewaytoanotherjumbledhodgepodgeofrank,ruinedstallsandscholasticcarrels.Shelvesofbooks,theirleatherspinesfurredwithmold,stretchedoutofsight.Ametronomesoundofdrippingwatertickedoffthemoments,anddamphadblackenedthebuilding’selegantvelvethangings.Anightmareofbranchingcorridorsledthempastmusty,cavernouslecturehallswhereJamalwouldswearthesoulsoflostHumanitiesmajorsstillthirstedforrevenge.Demandedvengeance.Astheyoughtto,hereflected.Generationshadbeentaughttheworstbrandsofsocialengineering;they’dbeendrilledandtesteduntiltheseinstitutionallieshadreplacedanyrationalthinkingoftheirown.TheghoststhatinhabitedPrinceLucienCampbellHallwouldn’trestuntilJamalandKeishaunhadfoundtheanswertheysoughttonight.

Thepairlurchedfromoneruinedleveluptothenext,untilasinglenotestruckonapianocaughttheirattention.Aseriesofnotesfollowed.This,Chopin’sNocturneinE-flatmajor,ledthemtoanunlockedoffice.Beyondthatlayamolderingsuiteofrooms,andinthefurthestmosttheyfoundtheirobjective.

Herewasaninnersanctum,aplushoasishighinthebuilding,wheresomegreatman’sstaffoflackeyshadleftfortheday.HerethewallswereimpressivelypaneledinCircassianrosewood,andafirecrackledsoftlybelowanelaboratelycarvedovermantelofItalianmarble,richlydetailedwithcavortingputtiandheraldiciconography.AsettingnotatypicalforlearnedseniorprofessorsattheUniversityofOregon.Streamingraysofmoonlightlittherichstained-glasswindows,scatteringghostlycolorsthatfurtherdecoratedthearabesquepatternsoftheroom’selegantorientalcarpet.

ModerntouchesincludedaframedposterofCheGuevarahungabovethefireplace.AnAmericanflag,alsoframed,hadbeenhungupside-downabovetheprofessor’santiquedesk.Oneedgeoftheflaglookedeatenaway,blackenedwithsinge,fromsomelong-agoattempttoburnitinriotousprotest.Arrayeduponthedesktopwerevariousrarevolumesandcostlybibelots.WhatcaughtJamal’seyewasasignedsepia-tonephotographofEmmaGoldmanmountedonasmallbejeweledeasel.Nearitrestedarazor-sharpletteropenerofancientMoorishdesign.

Thegreatmanhimselfdozedinaleatherwingbackchair,anopencopyofRulesforRadicalslayagainsthischest,halfhiddenbyhisratted,graybeard.Despiteboththebeardandthebook,thesloganonhisT-shirtwasstilllegible.Itread,“ThisIsWhataFeministLooksLike.”

Thelegsofhiscotton,drawstringpantswererolledup,andhispale,wrinkledfeetweresubmergedinashallowplastictubofsteamingwater.Ready,besidethetub,afoldedbathtowelwaited.

Acrystaldecanterofrich,ambersherrysatonasmall,pricelesstablebesidehim.Anempty,thimble-sizedglassheldagoldentraceofhislastround.

JamalandKeishauncreptintotheroom,admiringitshistoricalfinery.Knowingtheseluxurieshadbeenbuiltwiththesweatandfaileddreamsofuncountableliberal-artsstudents.Thestrainsof

Chopinissuedfromashimmering,onyx-huedrecordalbumthatrevolvedslowlyonsomeancientheirloomgramophone.

Theesteemedscholar,Dr.EmmetBrolly,blinkedawake.“TowhatdoIowethispleasure?”heasked,hisrheumyeyesfixated,openlycaptivatedbyKeishaun’scloselyfittedslacks.

Toocowedtospeak,thestudentsshiftedtheirweightuncomfortablyandstareddownattheirworntennisshoes.AbruptlyJamallookedupandstammered,“Sir,doyourememberWalterBaines?”

Abeatlater,feelingnakedunderthebrilliantman’sleer,Keishauninsisted,“Wethinkhe’sintrouble.”

Thedoctorknittedhisbrow.Slowlyheclosedhisbookandsetitaside.“Whatbrandoftrouble?”

JamallookedtoKeishaun,andtheyregardedeachotherwithworriedeyes.ToBrolly,Jamalsaid,“It’ssomelist...”

Toclarify,Keishaunadded,“AlistontheInternet.”HeexplainedtherumorandwhatlittleWalterhadknown.Itseemedsimple:Ifyouthoughtapersonwasathreattosocietyyoucouldposthisorhernameonacertainwebsite.Ifnooneagreedwithyournominationthenamewoulddisappearwithinafewhours.Butifseveralpeoplesupportedthenominationthenamewouldlingertoattractmorepossiblevotes.Themorevotesapersongot,themoredangerheorshewasfacing.

Jamalinterjected,“It’slikeanunpopularitycontest!”

Hishystericaloutburstmadethemallcringe.Noonespokeastheburninglogsinthefireplacesoftlypoppedandsighed.

Atlast,Dr.Brollylaughed.Hiswasadeepheartychortle,dismissive,andscentedwithsherry.Itdisplayedeveryoneofhismarijuana-stainedteeth.Asafreethinkingscholarandmolderofyoungminds,itwasclearhe’dfacedmanysuchwitchhuntsinhislongcareer.Asiftocalmhimself,hereachedforthedecanterandpouredhissmallglassfull.Aftersippingit,heregardedtheamberliquidandsmiledwryly.“Yes,mychildren,”hesaid.“Therehasalwaysbeenalist!”

JamalandKeishaunhungonhiswords.Eyeswide.Theirsoulsfilledwithdread.

Thedoctorgesturedgrandlywiththetinyglass.“Sit,”hebadethem.

Thetwoyounglistenerssatcross-leggedonthecarpet,athisfeet.

Brollyspokedowntothem.“Therehasalwaysbeenalist.Oh,howhumanbeingslovetheirlists!”Hesmiledpatronizingly.“FromtheTenCommandmentstotheHollywoodBlackList.FromNixon’sEnemiesListtoSchindler’sListtotheNewYorkTimesBestsellerList.FromSantaClaus’slisttoGod’slistseparatingthesheepfromthegoats.”Hewentontodescribegenealogiesaslists,taxonomies,inventories.Hefinishedhisglassofsherry,pouredanother,drankthatandpouredanother.“Ourmuch-flauntedBillofRightsisalist!AswasMartinLuther’sNinety-FiveThesesnailedtothecathedraldoorduringthefestivalofFasching!”

WhenJamalandKeishaunlookedathimwithblankexpressions,hebellowed,“IfyoutwohadreadyourLewisHydeandVictorTurner—insteadofsmokingbathsaltsandplayingPokémonGo—you’dknowofwhatIspeak!”

Slippingeasilyintoalecturehe’ddeliveredcountlesstimes,hedeclared,“Power-reversalrituals!”

JamalandKeishaunsteeledthemselvesforalong-winded,didacticsermon.

Brolly’sdissertationgushedforth:Mostcivilsocietiesperpetuatedtheirstatusquobypracticingtheserituals.Forashortperiodeachyear,sometimesseasonally,thelowest-rankingcitizensweregrantedpowerovertheirsuperiors.InmodernsocietiesthisstilloccurredatHalloween,thejuncturebetweensummerandautumnandsupposedlybetweenthelivingandthedead.OnthenightofOctober31,powerlesschildrendonnedthecostumesofoutsiders—ofanimalsandthedeadandoutcastlonerssuchascowboysorhobos.Boysdressedasgirlsandgirlsasboys,andallofthesealienothershadthepowertoroamfreelyanddemandtributefromproperty-owninguprightmembersofsociety.IfnotributewaspaidthethreatofTrickorTreatpromisedpropertydamage.

“Why,”thedoctorsputtered,“bythe1920ssomanyhomeswereburnedandsomanytiresslashedthatnewspaperscolludedwithinsuranceandconfectionarycompaniestoinstitutetheritualofgivingawaycandy!”Hemarveled,“Pictureit!Thepoorburnedthehomesoftherich!Alloffensesoftheprecedingyearwererevenged!”

EvenChristmascaroling—heartwarming,traditionalChristmascaroling—hadbeenabloodsport.Thepoorcongregatedoutsidethehomesofthewealthyandsangasathreat.Nothingbutbribesofgoldandrichfoodwoulddispatchthemtothenexthouse.Ourpracticeofofferingflowersatafuneraloriginatedwithanancientritualwhereinthelocalpoorwouldgatherwildflowersandfragrantherbs.Theywouldarriveatthedeadman’scasketandhandthesegiftstothemournersinexchangeformoneyandbread.

Withobviouschildlikeenthusiasm,thedoctorsplashedhisbarefeetinthetubofwater.

Hedeclared,“Themilitaryisrifewithtraditionaloccasionswhenofficersmustobeytheirinferiorsforabriefperiod.”AboardnuclearsubmarineseverytourfeaturesaHefe’sCafénight.Dinneriscelebratedbytheship’sofficersdecoratingthemessasafancyrestaurantandthen,themselves,cookingandservingtheenlistedpersonnelagourmetmeal.Similarly,inantebellumAmericathepower-reversalritualwasknownasSaturnalia.AtChristmastimeaplantationownerwouldgivehisslavesgiftsandallowthemtotravelshortdistancestovisitrelativesonneighboringplantations.Alloftheslavesweregivenseveraldaysoffreedom.Theyreceivedalltheapplebrandytheycoulddrinkandalltheporktheycouldeat.AsreportedbyFrederickDouglass,theslaveswouldeat,drink,andcarouseuntiltheyweresick.Everyyear,thissicknessofexcessleftthemmiserable.Itconvincedtheslavestheywereweakwilled.Theyneededamastertocontrolthemandtheirbaseimpulses.Afterafewdaysofbingeingoneverything,theywerehappytoreturntobeingslaves.

Thisfaralong,thedoctor’slecturewaslongandliquoredandindulgent.

“FortheAmish,”Brollydronedon,“it’stheircuriouspracticeofRumspringa.Awordwhichtranslatestorunningorjumpingaround.Atthecuspofadulthood,Amishadolescentsareallowedtoenjoythefruitsoftheoutsideworld.LiketheslaveenjoyingSaturnalia,theAmishyoungstersinevitablyoverindulgeindrugs,insex,intediousminimum-wagelifestyles.Aftertheymakethemselvesmiserable,”Brollycrowed,“they’reonlytoohappytoreturntotheplainandsimpleAmishlife.”

Jamallookedathiswristwatch.Keishaunresistedtheurgetocheckhistextmessages.Clearlytheprofessorwasonaroll.

Thedoctorpausedtocatchhisbreath.Withliquorshiningonhislips,andtheramblingwispsofhislonggrayhairthathadescapedhisponytail,helookedlikenothinglessthanawizard.Somejabberingheretic.Fixinghissmallaudiencewithagleamingeye,heasked,“Doyouknowwhythiscountry,supposedlythewisest,mostsuccessfulhumanexperiment,doesnotpracticeapower-reversalritual?”

Whenneitherofthetwoyoungmenspoke,thedoctorshouted,“Karneval!”Hebellowed,“Fasching!”

ThelatterwasawordderivedfromtheGermantermfor“lastcall.”ItwastheequivalentofmodernMardiGras,afinalcarnalindulgencebeforethehardshipsandself-denialofLent.Inseventeenth-centuryBavariathepower-reverseritualallowedpeasantstoeatandpartyandsometimescopulateinthechurchesandcathedralswhilethecelebratoryparadesfeaturedmonksandpriestsridingonwagons—theequivalentofourparadefloats—whilethrowingfecesattheonlookers.Theprofanebecamesacredandthesacred,profane.Butonlyforashorttime.

Nevertheless,itwaswithinthislawlesswindowthatMartinLuthermadehismove.HepostedhisobjectionstotheCatholicChurch.AndindoingsohefoundedProtestantism.

“You’llagreethattheUnitedStatesisnothingifnotaProtestantnation?”Brollyasked,adding,“Atleastatitsfounding.”

BecausetheProtestantreligionshadbeencreatedduringapower-reversalritual,thosereligionshavealwaysbeenwaryofsuchapractice.

Brollynodded,knowingly.“ThePope,HisHoliness,willcontinuetowashandkissthefeetofthepooronHolyThursday,buttheProtestantswillneverriskthesamevulnerability.”

Thatwasthefatalflawofthisgreatcountry,hesurmised.Itneverallowedtheweakest,thepoorestandmostdisenfranchisedtoenjoyevenanhourofritualizedpower.Yes,wehadcastratedversionslikeHalloweenandChristmascarolingforchildren,buttherewasnothingtoexhausttheadultunderclassesandleavethemcontentedtoremainpoorforanotheryear.

Jamalallowedarespectfulamountoftimetopassbeforehetriedtoredirect.“Sothelist?”

Desperate,Keishaunbegged.“Isitreal?”

Drowsyandalittlesoused,Dr.Brollytut-tutted.Heliftedapalehandandtoyedwithafewstrandsofhiswildhair.“AsaculturalanthropologistI’velongheardofthisfabledlist.”Heassuredthem,“Anditisanurbanmyth.Acompletefantasy.”

Thetwostudentscouldn’thelpbutlookcrestfallen.They’dcomehereaskingaboutWalter,tryingtodiscoveriftheprofessorcouldhelpthem.Hecouldnotorwouldnot.Thiswasadeadend.

Asifsensingtheirdisappointment,Dr.Brollystirred.Perhapstoappeasethem,maybejusttoflirt,heasked,“Thismythicallist?”Strictlyfromananthropologicalstandpoint,heasked,“Whathappensifanomineegetstoomanyvotes?”

Hiseyesdowncast,KeishaunedgedforwarduntilhekneltatBrolly’sfeet.Thewaterintheplastictubhadlongceasedtosteam.Keishaunreachedforthefoldedtowel.“It’slikethis,”hebegan,andgentlyliftedonepalefootfromthetepidwater,drieditwiththetowelandletitrestonthecarpet.Thestudentrepeatedtheprocesswiththeotherfootbeforebringingeachfoottohismouthandkissingthecold,wrinkledskin.

Dr.EmmetBrollystared,hishairyjawsagape,dumbfounded.

Havingdonethat,Keishaunreachedonehandaroundtothesmallofhisownback.Fromhiswaistbandheproducedasnub-nosedrevolverandfiredasingleshotintotheprofessor’sslack-jawedexpression.

Nofootstepscamerunning.Thedesolatebuildingwasdeserted.Jamalventured,“Nopunintended,butyou’vejumpedthegun.”

Brollysprawledinhischair,bloodfillingtheraggedcraterthathadreplacedhisface.Bloodsputteredintheopeningexposedatthetopofhisblastedwindpipe.Hewasn’tboringanyone,notanymore.Theentirearrayofhisresearchandeducationwassplatteredonthewalnutpanelinginbackofhischair.Hishandstrembledforamoment.Thenthebloodstoppedflowingdownhisgraybeard,andhewasofficiallydead.

Keishaunstashedthegunbackinhiswaistband.“Inafewdaysitwon’tmatter.”HemotionedforJamaltofetchthefancifulletteropenerfromthedesk.Heasked,“What’shisvalueupto?”

Jamalwasstudyinghisphone,scrollingthroughalonglistofnames.Hekeptscrolling.Thelistgotlongereverydayaspeoplesubmittedtheirlast-minutenominations.Atlasthesaid,“You’renotgoingtobelievethis...”

Keishaunfroze.“Tellme!”

Jamallookedupfromthescreen,beaming.“Sixteenhundredvotes...”

Hisfriendgasped.Thatpracticallymadethemtheirownpoliticalparty.Keishauncoveredhisownmouthwithbothhandsandwhisper-shriekedwithjoy.

AsJamalusedtheletteropenertocarveawaythedeadman’sear,hesighed,“ThankGodWaltertoldus.”

Keishaunshruggedhelplessly.Blushingalittle,weaklyheoffered,“PoorWalt.”Heyankedupthehemofthedeadman’sT-shirttoexposeanadhesivepatchontheskinbeneath.Peelingoffthepatchandslappingitontothesideofhisownneck,hesavoredtheinstantrushofFentanyl.

Jamalhandedovertheear,itsdiamondstillsparklinginthelobe.ThetwoyoungmenbumpedfistsoverthemutilatedremainsofDr.EmmetBrolly,theyslappedhigh-fives.Beforeleaving,Keishaunwenttotheframedflag,thathalf-charredrelicfromsomelong-forgottenprotestordemonstration.Hetookitdown,regardeditwithreverence,andrehungitright-sideup.

JamalleaneddowntopickuptheAlinskybook.Coollyassessingitspages,hesaid,“Thetimeforprettywordshasexpired.”Andhegentlyconsignedthefragilepapertothehungryflamesofthefireplace.

Piper’svoicerasped.Histhroathoarseanddry,hefeltexhausted.Afterthey’ddismissedtheotheractors,thecastingteamhadkepthimreadingrandomlines.Whathadbegunasanauditionwasbecomingamarathon,asiftheyweretestinghisendurance.ClemorNaylor,orwhoeverthecastingdirectorwas,he’dgrimaceandsay,“They’renotconvincedyou’remanenough.”AsifbaitingPiper,he’dsay,“Thepartcallsforlotsmoregumption.”

They’dputupanothercuecardfilledwithgibberish,andPiperwouldbehell-bentnottoread:

CaucasiaisatwarwithGaysia.CaucasiahasalwaysbeenatwarwithGaysia.

Theirstackofunreadcardsstillstoodthickasanold-schooltelephonebook.Someonewouldholdupanother,andPiperwouldreadaloud:

Thefiresconsumingourcitieshavebeensparkedbyloyalistforcesoftheoldregime.

They’dholdupcardaftercard.

Theworldwantsaunifiedfieldtheory.Asinglething,onesomethingthatexplainseverything—giveittothem.

Themeasureofamanisnotwhathedoesforwagesbutwhathedoesforleisure.

AgrandmilitaryprocessionalwillretakethedecimatedcityofPortland!

Thejoyoffictionisthatitonlyneedstosmelltrue.

Gibberishitwas.Utterandcompletebalderdashinventedbyhackwritersforaseriesthatwouldnevergetpickedupbyanynetwork.HoweverPiperdeliveredeachlinewithvigorandgusto.Heknewtheknotofhistiehadsaggedawayfromhiscollarbutton.Andthatstrandsofhishairhadcomeungluedandbeguntofallacrosshisforehead.Buthedidnotgiveup.Hisbloodshoteyesburned,buthewasnotgivingup.Evenasthecastingdirector,RufusorColtonorBrach,putupanewcuecard.

Beforethisbookwasabook...beforethediggingoftheburialpits...therewasjustWalter’sbigplantogetrich.

WalkingthestreetsofNewYorkCity,he’dpulledupsomepornonhisphone.Juststillimagestoperuseuntilhis’nadsfilledup.Justsothebloodwentdowntohisjunk,andhewasthinkingwiththefearlessbrainsbelowhiswaist.Aharddickwasneverscared.PorndidtohimwhatspinachdidtoPopeyeorragedidtotheIncredibleHulk.PuttinghiminastatewherehecouldWhere’sWaldotheceilingoftheSistineChapelandneverfindGodbecausethebuttsofalltheangelsaresoinfinitelyfuckable.

PornmadeofWalteraruthlesswolfpackofone.Onhisphonehe’dGoogled:

TedBundy

WayneWilliams

DeanCorll

RichardRamirez

AngeloBuono

DavidBerkowitz

Toetheline.Followthestraightandnarrow,andnoonecaresifyouliveordie.Waltercanstarvetodeathorstumbleintotrafficandgetmowedflat.Hecanshipouttosomecombatzoneandgetbayonet-raped.He’snobody’slittlebaby,notanymore.Nobodygivesacrapwhetherhelivesordies.Butkilloffafewofhisfellownobodies,andsocietywillmoveHeavenandearthtokeeptrackofhim.Abilliontaxpayerswillprovideforhisfoodandshelterfortherestofhislife.Dresshimincleanclothes.Stopeating,andthey’llshoveatubedownhisthroatandpumphimfulloffood,atreatmenthehasn’tenjoyedsincehewasafetus.

UntilthenhewalkedthestreetsofNewYork,apredatorinthelandofspringlambs.

Allthey’dtaughthiminschoolcouldonlygetapersonsofar,orelsehisalgebrainstructorwouldbeflyingonaprivatejetdrinkingchampagneoutofaslipper.Whattheyteachmoreorlessgetseveryonetothesameplace.Theysayyouneedtobecomeathing—alawyerorbookkeeperorliontamertobarterbitsofyourthingforothersomethings.Inplaceofonething,Walterwantstobeeverything.Buttoriseabovethefrayhe’llneedamentor.Somebillionaireso-and-sototakehim

underhisbillionairewingandshowhimtheropesonmoneyreproducingitselflikerabbits,oninsidertradingandleveragingcommodityfutures,thebloodlessworldofcorporatetakeoversandfundspilingupinsometaxhaveninsomebankaccountnumberedtoinfinity.

Today,Walterhadtoldhimselfhecoulddothis.First,he’ddonehishomework.HadreadthefinancialpagestoidentifysomeGeorgeSorosorKochbrother.Abig-namehedge-fundmogulorinvestmenttsar.He’dstrolledthroughthepagesofTownandCountrymagazineandtheFortune500Who’sWho.FoundhimselfsomeKingMidaswhopullsthestringsandspinsstrawintogold.

ThewayWaltersawit,hehadn’tbeenslacking.He’dbeenbidinghistime,conservinghisresources,waitingforhisonemainchance.He’dmadealistofwhathe’dbelievedin:

SantaClaus

CatholicGod

BaptistGod

BuddhistGod

PaganGod

Satan

TheEasterBunnyandtheToothFairy

TheSeattleSonicsandtheOklahomaOutlaws

GaryHartandWalterMondaleandAlGore

Circumcision

Todatehe’dbelievedindemocracyandManifestDestiny.He’dbelievedincapitalismandmoralrelativityandSocialMarxism.Ifhecouldputhisfaithinthem,hecouldbelieveinanything.Maybebelievinginthoseridiculousabstractionswasanexerciseinbelieving,period.

Hisonlyfaith,thesedayshisonlyreligion,wasShasta.He’ddippedtwofingersintohispantspocket.Pinchedoutapinkblob.Likeamarshmallowonlysmaller.Anearplug.OneafternooninToolsofIndustrialDesignShastahadshutdownthedrillpress.She’dpinchedthepinkfoamplugsfromherearsandsetthemaside.Whileshe’dgonetomakeacallWalterhadstolenone,andnowonthestreetsofNewYorkheliftedtheearplugtohisnoseandsniffed.HuffedthesweetecologyofShasta’sskinandbrains.

Granted,maybehisdadhadn’tbeenaworldheavyweightdouchesufficienttoscorehimabigtrustfund,butWaltercouldremedythat.Ifadadcanhavemorethanonekid,whycan’takidhavemorethanoneoldman?Andifaparentcanadoptakid,whycouldn’tWalteradoptanewparent?Arichone.Somebodytoslipthesilverspoonbetweenhishillbillyredneckwhite-trashlips.Him,thehimwalkingthestreetswithaconcealedweapon,abouttobecomethesonsomeCroesusneverknewhehad.

Cherry-picksomeT.BoonePickens.Likefantasyfootballonlywithhisownfamilylineage.

Moneybeingthepurestsoulofeverything,theformeverythingtakesbeforereincarnatingassomethingelse.WaltermadeofhimselfthatoriginalWalter,beforeopinionsandeducationandcautioncamepouringintohim.TheWalterthatwatchingpornturnedhiminto.

ThereonsomeMadisonAvenuehe’dbe,Walter’snewoldman,withhishard-boiledoil-paintingfaceandhisheadforfigures.MaybenottherichTopHatguyfromMonopolyinstripedpantsandtailcoat,butpatriarchenough.AndifWaltercouldpickupastraydogonthestreet,thenthisshouldbeeasy.Hekepttellinghimself,“Hostiletakeover.”Hostiletakeover.Lookedatfromtherightangle,itwouldbeacompliment,he’dtoldhimselfashe’dMarkDavidChapman’dtoNewYorkCityandputamidtownhotelroomonhiscreditcardsohecouldMarkDavidChapmanthecrowdedstreets,hopingtocrosspathswithhisnewoldman.Thefatherwhodidn’tknowhewas,notyet.

Onhisphonehe’dGoogled:Chapman’slistofapprovedpeopletokill.

JohnnyCarson

MarlonBrando

WalterCronkite

GeorgeC.Scott

JacquelineKennedyOnassis

JohnLennon

ElizabethTaylor

ThinkingwithhispornbrainsWalterhadlurkedthestreetswithhislist,trenchcoatpocketsbulging,onthelookoutforoneofseveralpotentialfathers.Beggarscouldn’tbechoosers.Someofhisprospectivementorsnotevenmen,butladystockbrokersorrealestatewheeler-dealers,justsolongastheycouldschoolhimintheirmoney-makinghoodoo.Walterpoundedthepavement,onrovingstakeout,thelistonhisphone,completewithphotographsandsuggestedlikelylocationsforhuntingdownfinanciers.He’dalwaysthought:Shasta.Thinking:Shasta’sfacialexpressionwhenheshowedupatherdormroom,instyle,drivingaprivatejetwithastringofpoloponiestospiritheraway,completewithBeyoncéashernewmaidofhonor.Onhisphonehe’dGoogled:CharlesManson’sdeathlist.

SteveMcQueen

RichardBurton

TomJones

FrankSinatra

ElizabethTaylor

Withtherollofducttapeinhiscoatpocket,he’dwalkedalongWallStreet.He’dwalkedupLexingtonAvenuetoBloomingdale’s,eyespeeled,notcertainhowhe’dhandleanactualcloseencounter.Blood-houndingbillionairesintheirnaturalhabitat.Couldbehe’dtrailhisnewoldmanforblockafterblockuntilthey’dgetcaughtataredlight,standingonthecornerof57thStreet,waitingfortheWalksignal.He’dsidleupbesidethisMichaelBloombergandask,“Aren’tyouWarrenBuffett?”

Hisaristocratic,patriarchalskinwouldlookaspaleandbrittle-dryasoldrollingpapers.He’dgiveWalterthemoldystinkeye,andWalterwouldcounterbysaying,“ItmightinterestyoutoknowIhaveaGlock15,”boldlydisplayingthebulgeinhiscoatpocket.

Thatwouldcapturetheman’sattention.ThereandthenWaltertoldhimtohailacab,andthey’dbothclimbedinside.WalterhadtoldthecabbieanaddressinQueens,aspotseveralblocksfromwherehe’dstashedhisrentalcar.Thetwoofthemhadrodethereinsharedsilence,Walter’sbulgepressedintotheman’skidneys,himWalter’stickettoalifewherehewouldn’thavetocramallofhislivingintoSaturdaynights.TosteelhisresolveWalterhadsurfedmoreporn.He’dpulledoutapackofskunkweedresin-infusedchewinggumandofferedthedriverastick.Thecabbiehadtakenit,notreallysurewhatitwas.WalthadofferedthisBernardArnaultastick,buthe’drefuseditsoWalterpoppedthegumintohisownmouthandbegantochew.He’dsaid,“I’mnotgoingtohurtyou.”

ThisAmancioOrtega,he’dasked,“Fornothurtingmeyouneedagun?”

Walterhadsaid,“Ionlyneedtoborrowyourbrainacoupledays.”

WiththearchitecturalgrandeurofNewYorkgoingbyoneveryside,thisKarlAlbrechthadasked,“Wastherenotlintonthatgum?”

Walterhadaskedback,“What?”

“Pocketlint,”he’dinformedWalter.“Onthegumyousogenerouslyofferedme.”Liftingbothhandspalm-up,he’daddressedtheroofofthecab,beseeching,“Atmyage,withthepreciouslittleoflifeIhaveremainingme,whyshouldItrustthisyoungruffianwhosogenerouslyoffersmecheapcandycoatedinfilth?”

Walterhadfeltthehairythreadsofsomethingbetweenhisteeth.Hischeekshadburnedwithshame,buthewouldn’twanttomakethemanrightbyspittingthegumoutthewindow.Instead,he’dsaid,“You’recrazy.Thisgumisgreat!”That’swhenhe’dneededtopullouthisphonebutdidn’twanthisnewoldmantoseehimgettinghispornrefill.

Thecabdriverhadspathisgumoutthewindow.Walterhadtoldthemboth,“Thisgumisdelicious!”

Sothecabbywouldn’tseehisrentedride,they’ddisembarkearly.Then,whenitwasjustWalterandthemanwalkingthroughQueens,whenWalterhadarrivedattherentalcarandopenedthetrunk,he’dnoddedforthisCarlosSlimtoclimbinside.Walterhadpromisedhim,“Oneweek,tops.”

WalthadpulledupthephotosofShastaonhisphone.Heldthescreenforhisnewoldmantosee.ScrollingthroughthephotosofShastasmilingandShastaasleepandShastaignoringhim,Walterhadsaid,“Thisismymotive.”

Theman’seyeshadgonetotheinsidetrunkreleaselever.Walterletthem,justsolongasthemanclimbedin.Lethimthinkhecanjumpoutatthefirsttrafficlight.He’dsighed,thisIngvarKamprad.Hisshouldershadslumped,andhe’dmuttered,“Oneweek,MisterTerroristtellsme!”CurlednexttothesparetireinWalter’strunkhe’dscrambledtoofferhiswristwatch,hisphoneandwallet,butWalterhadrefusedthem.Givingitasecondthought,Walterhadtakentheman’sphonesohecoulddeactivateitsGPS.Walterhadsaid,“Youdon’tfullycomprehendmymotives.”Hadsaid,“Idon’twantyourmoney.”

Walterhadsaid,“I’mnotanyterrorist,”andhe’dslammedthetrunklid.

OncethetrunkwaslockedshutWalterhadspatoutthescarychewinggum.Inhiscoatpockethe’dfoundtheone-hitterandsuckedhislungsfull,holdingthesmoke,lettinghismindwander.PoorElizabethTaylor,he’dthought.Twicetargeted.Hadn’tshealsobeenthetargetfortheelaboratecar-crashmurderplotinJ.G.Ballard’snovelCrash?Wheretheyplottedtodriveoffanoverpass—calledaflyoverinEngland—andsymbolicallyrapeherlimousinebycrushinghertodeathwiththeirsedan?Orweresomanyplotstokillheractuallytheultimatemeasureofhermoviestardom?

Throughtheclosedtrunklid,Walterhadsaidhewassorryaboutwhatwenton,abouttheHolocaustandall,butthiswasn’tgoingtobelikethat.Walterwasn’tprejudicedsincehe’dmadeadioramaabouttheFinalSolutioninmiddleschool.IthadbeenhisrebuttaltohatefulonlineHolocaustdeniers,completewithincensesmokerisingominouslyfromtheLegobuilding-blockchimneys.SandalwoodincensebecauseitwasallhisWal-Martcarried.He’dhadaTonkatoybulldozerbulldozingnakedBarbiesintoadirtholetohidethemfromadvancingAlliedliberationforces.Aworthyeffort,thatdiorama,butonethatgothimsenttothecounselor’sofficetowatchavideoaboutbeingawrong-headedculturaldouchebag.Sincethenhe’dalwaysstrovetomakeaspecialblood-and-guts,balls-outefforttopracticesensitivityinregardtootherdifferentlyreligiouspeople.

Whenhe’dputtheone-hitterbackinhispockethe’dfeltthecoilofwire.Thegarrote.

Thetruthwashedidn’thaveanygun.TheguninhiscoatwasinactualityasizablebaggieofCaliforniaUltraviolet.That,andtheducttapehe’dforgottentouse.He’dwhisper-toldthelockedtrunk,“Nobody’sgoingtogasyou.”

OnlythendidWalterriskanotherpornrefill.Allalonghehadn’tknownanything.Hadn’tyetseenthewholepicture.

Thisentireabductionwouldgosoeasy,soquietandpainlessandeasythatheshould’veknownsomethingwasterriblywrong.

Thetrunkhadsaidbackfromtheinside,“Who’stogas?”Hadsaid,“Me?I’mLutheran,MisterTerrorist.”Thenandthere,fromthemetalinsidehadcomemuffledpealsoftriumphantlaughter.

Sixtydaysoutthelistwasfrozen.Nomineeswithinsufficientsupportwereexpunged.Thosethatremainedhadtheirrewardvaluesfixed.Thesemeasureswouldensureplayerscouldn’tidentify,nominate,andup-voteoneanother.OnceAdjustmentDaycommencedthelistwouldbetakendown.Thelistwouldnotexist.

They’dmadePipersayitrepeatedly.Eachtimewithexactlythesameintonation,asifhewerearobot.

“AdjustmentDayisuponus,”hedutifullyrecited.

Again,“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”

“Irepeat,AdjustmentDayisuponus.”

He’dproducedthewordsuntilthey’dstoppedsoundinglikewords.Eachsentenceformedamantraoradrumbeat.Topreventlisping,he’dworkedtocontrolthehissingsibilantsoundsofthethreeevenlyspacedS’s.Everytakewasperfect,buttheassistantdirectorhadstoodbesidethecameraandpointedafingerathimtodeliveranother.

Piperhadaskedforabottleofwater.SomeonedugthroughthecrushediceinaStyrofoamcooler,buttheclosesttheyhadwaslitebeer.Thetapinghadbegunanew.

Repeating,“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”

Repeating,“Thelistdoesnotexist.”

Repeating,“ThefirstcasualtyofanywarisGod.”

Repeating,“Ifamancanfacerealityattheageoftwenty-five,atsixtyhecandictateit.”

Thecastingdirector,ClemorRufusorNaylor,studiedhisclipboard,nodding.Helookedup.“Greatjob,”hesaid.“NowweneedeverythinginSpanish.”

Pipercouldn’taffordtotakeoffense.Heneededthework.FinallyClempromisedtobeintouchwithPiper’sagentregardingthetermsofacontract.Thecastingboardmembershadeachcomeforwardtoshakehishandintheirrough,stainedhands.Eachpayinghisrespectwithagruff“Thankyou.”Thecinematographer,Colton,hadpressedamanilaenvelopeontohimandescortedhimtotheparkinglot.OncePiperhadclimbedintohiscar,withnooneinsight,he’dtornopentheenvelope.Insidewasabandedstackofonehundredhundred-dollarbills.Whetherthiswasaretainerorabribe,Piperhadnoidea.Everythingabouttheafternoonhadfeltthewayhe’dimaginedshootingapornmoviewouldfeel.Printedonthepaperbandwas“$10,000.”

AthisworkstationCharliepositionedarubberbumpercushioninthehydraulicpress.Atopithealignedasteelmountingflange,andthroughtheseheranabolt.Hisfootsteppedonthepedal.Thepresshissedandstampedthepartstogether,andCharlieaddedthelocknutandtorquedittospecifications.Hereleasedthepedal,removedthefinishedaxlestop,andtosseditintothewire-meshbinlabeledwiththepartnumber.Hereachedforanotherrubberbumper,anothersteelflange,anotherbolt.Whathadoncebeentedious,noweveryrepetitionfilledhimwithjoy.Everytaskcounteddowntowardthefuture,andforthefirsttimesincehewasalittleboyCharlielookedforwardtothefuturelikeChristmasEve.

Theimpossiblehadhappened.GarretDawsonhadsaid,“You.”He’djerkedhisthumbforCharlietocomeover.GarretDawson,thekingofthefactoryfloor.

That’showfastCharlie’slifehadbeensaved.

Thismanhadselectedhimoutofalltheloud,bullying,bullshitartistsinthefactory.Itwasflattering.Charliefeltanointed,likeintheBible.Visited,likebyanangel.Likehehadn’tevenbeenaliveuntilGarretDawsonhadwalkeduptohimaftertheirshiftendedandinformedCharliethathewasn’tlikeeveryoneelse,andCharliehadadestinyfarbeyondassemblywork.

Nobody,noteacherorpriestorsportscoachhadeverflat-outtoldCharliehecouldhelpruletheworld.

Charliewasaman.Twenty-sevenyearsold.Amanworkingonanassemblylinewhohadthreewarninglettersinhisfileandifhepunchedtheclocklatehe’dreceiveafourthletterandbefired.Andhisjobwasshit.Andhehatedhimselfforclingingtosuchashitjob.Sinceschool,he’dcometoexpectsolittlefromlife.Nothingspecial,justtobetreatedwithcourtesyandpolitenessbytheworld.Wantedpeopletoseehimandnotfearhim,notadmirehimbutjusttoseehim.Hewantedtoberecognizedsopeoplewouldthinktwicebeforebadgeringorinsultinghim.

Nowhehadbeenchosenforateam.Themostexclusiveteaminhumanhistory.Andifhisteamdidwelltheymightpooltheirvictories.Andifthatnumberwassizable,theymightbetheleadingbodyoflawmakersinthenewnation.Andthenationtheywouldleadwouldleadtheworld.Andthisfuturemadeithardtosleepatnight.

ThedayoftheinvitationGarretDawsonhadshownhimthelist,onDawson’sphone,shownhimwheretofindit,thewebaddress.DawsonhadseeninhimsomethingheroicandpredictedCharliecoulddohispartonAdjustmentDay.Charlie,Dawsonproclaimed,hadthestuffofmenthroughouttimewho’dtakenactiontoradicallyimprovetheirsocietyinasingleday.

ThisfromGarretDawson,himself,whohadn’tpunchedthetimeclocklateinseventeenyearsandhadnevergottenasingleletterofwarninginhisfile.Dawsonwhowaslivingproofthathardwork

haddignity.Himwithawifeandkids,hehadeverythingtolose,GarretDawsonhadstakedeverythingoninvitingCharlietojoin.

NotthatCharliewoulddisappointsuchtrust.ThemanhadtoldonlyCharlie,ofallthelineworkersatKMLIndustries,themanhadsoughtoutCharlie,watchedfromadistance,seenCharlie’squiet,self-withheldwayofconductinghimself.He’dsensedrightlythatCharliecouldkeepthesecret,wouldn’tbragaboutitandendangertheenterprise.He’dpickedoutthelatentstrengthanduntappedpotentialinCharlie.Whatnoonehadeverrecognized,notevenCharlie’soldman,GarretDawsonhadzeroedrightinon.

BycarefulobservationthemanknewCharliewouldbuythenecessaryweapon.Charliewoulddohispracticeshootingonmovingtargets.He’dprovetobeanassetcomeAdjustmentDayandasamemberoftherulingclassfordecadestocome.

Attheriskofsoundingastrological,DawsonhadtalkedabouttheSaturncycleofpeople’slives,andhowCharlie’shadbegunatagetwenty-seven,andbythetimeCharlieturnedthirty-onehe’dbeunrecognizabletohimself.Dawson,hespoketoCharlieabouthumanbrainphysiology.Hecitedstudiesthatprovethelastmajorchangesinthehumanbrainoccuraroundtheageofthirty-one.That’stheyearwhenaman’sexperienceandhiseducationmergetocreatesomethinggreaterthanthetwoelements.Ifamancouldlivebeyondtwenty-seven—thedeathyearforsomanyrockstars—thenhisgreatestambitionsstoodtocometruebytheageofthirty-one.

HowDawsonsawit,naturehadn’tgiftedhimabigproblem-solvingbrainsohecouldpunchinandspendhislifeputtingwidgetstogether.Thetwoofthem,himandCharlie,weretheendresultofmillenniaofsmartchoicesandbackbreakingwork.Dawsoncalleditcomical,howtheevolutionaryculminationofeverygeniusandmuscle-boundsavagewasstandinghere.HereatKMLIndustries,Charlieandhisbrethrenwereequippedfortheworstshitthatfatehadeverthrownatanyman,yetheretheywereworriedsickaboutgettingfired,andprayedtospendthenextfourdecadesthreadingnutsontobolts.

Theirancestors,Dawsonsaid,werewatchinganddidn’tgivearat’sasshowmanygadgetsCharliepiecedtogetherinanhour,eighthours,fiftyyears.EveryoneinthehereafterwantedtoseeCharliedisplaythesamecouragethey’dbequeathedhim.They’dgiventheirlivesforhimandexpectedCharlietodothesameforthefuture.

GarretDawsonlikenedthelineageoftheirancestorstothelineofpowerhewasinvitingCharlietojoin.TheyoungermanwasallearsasDawsonhaddescribedthesystem.HoweachlineofpowerradiatedfromamemberoftheCouncilofTribes.Thosesevenmembershadcreatedthelist.They’dchosenthefirstroundofsoldierstoenroll,cherry-pickingonlythesteady,theable,andtheresolute.Andeachofthosechosenhadinvitedasinglesoldier.Andthismethodallowedeachlineofpowertobetracedbacktoitsfounderonthecouncil.Andthefailureofonesoldierwouldbethefailureofeveryoneinthatlineage.Whilethesuccessofeachwouldbethesuccessofhislineage.

Bythistimeasecretnetworkofthechosenwascast.Ordinarymendoingtheirjobs.Normalpeople.Quietanddrawingnoattention,theycontinuedtoraisetheirfamiliesandpaytheirtaxesandtreatotherswithaknowingdignity,fullintheknowledgethatsoonthey’dbeunleashedtoresolvealltheflawscontainedinsociety.

ItwasCharlie’snextmovethatworriedhim.Hewantedtoenlisthisbrother-in-law.Tobringhimintothelineage.Ateveryfamilyget-togetherthetwoofthemsathunchedinfrontofthetelevision.Tokeepthepeace,theyspenttheirlivesnottalking.ThanksgivingorChristmas,everyholidaywasanechochamberwithcertainfamilymemberssquawkinglikeparrots,repeatingeachother’sapprovedopinionsabouttheworld.Toriskaconflictingideawouldbedroppingaturdinthehappinesspunchbowl,soCharlieandhisbrother-in-lawhunkereddown.Theykepttheirheadslowanddidn’tdrawanyfire.TheygobbledtheturkeyorEasterhamandpretendedthiswasn’ttheirlivesdisappearingintothepast.

Charlieknewhisbrother-in-lawwouldbeanexcellentassetonAdjustmentDay.Charliejustwasn’tcertainthemancouldkeephistrapshut,andifCharlie’ssisterfoundoutthatwouldendeverything.Shecertainlycouldn’tkeepasecret.Besides,shewasamongtheparrotswhosaidtheworldhadtostayacertainway,andshe’dliveanddietryingtoearngoldstarsfromteacherswhowantedtoearngoldstarsfromteacherswhoyearnedforgoldstars.

Hermouthwouldgetthemallkilled.Rumor,morethanrumor,lineageprotocoldecreedthatifanyonesnitchedthatplayerwouldbeterminated.Worseyet,theplayerwho’denlistedthatplayerwouldbeterminated.ThatmeantCharlieandhissisterandhisbrother-in-lawallwouldgettargetedbeforeAdjustmentDaywithnolegacyandnodynastyforanyofthem,andhisfamilywouldbeforeverleftoutofthesphereofnationalpower,andGarretDawson,poorDawson,would

feelstupidbecausehe’denrolledadipshitloserwho’dbetrayedthecause.Dawson,who’dwatchedCharlieandmeasuredhischaracterandstakedhisownlifeonthebeliefthatCharliewassolidandworthtrustingwitharoleinthegloriousnewfuture,GarretDawsonandtheentirelineagewouldfalterastepwhileotherlinesofpowerstretchedlonger.

Afewofthelinesofpowerhadstutteredandlostmomentumthisway.Someonehadnarcedandtwomenhadhadtobeputastopto,butthethirdmanbackhadchosenoncemoreandthelinehadmovedforward.Otherlineshadmovedforwardwithoutamisstepandthoselinesstretchedforhundredsandthoselineswouldtakethemosttargets.

ButforthattohappenCharliehadtofulfillhisfirstduty.Hisfirsttest.EvennowGarretDawsonwatchedhimfromacrosstheway.Charlieputarubberbumperintothepress.Insertedaflangeandabolt.Compressedtheassemblyandsecureditwithanut.

Livinginacastledidn’tmakeamanaking.Notanymorethanflyinginaprivatejetmadehimanastronaut.Orflexingmusclesmadehimstrong.Nordidhavingatrophywifemakeamanawinner.AllhislifeCharliehadsoughtthetrappingsofpower,neverrealizingthatonlypowerispower.

Onlycourageiscourage.Onlyactionscounted.Thebooksaidthat.GarretDawsonhadalsogivenCharliethefamousbook.

NowCharlieneededtoinvitethenextmembertohislineage.

Otherlinesweregrowingbytheday,bythehour,butCharlie’swasstuck.Stalled.Tochooseasnitchwouldgethimkilled.Tonotchoosewouldcripplethelineage,theveryprogressionofmenwho’dputtheirtrustinhim.Worse,ifhecouldn’ttakethisonebigrisk,howwouldheeverperformonAdjustmentDay?

Withitsblue-blackcoverthebookstoodoutlikeashavedhead.Toolargetobehiddeninapocket.Withitstitleembossedingold,itbadgedthemencarryingitonthestreetandreadingitonthebus.Brandedthemheroes.Herewasreadingasacovertactofrevolutioncarriedoutinplainsightbutrecognizedassuchonlybyothermenwiththebook.

If,forinstance,apatrolmanstoppedamanforspeedingandsawthebookrestingontheseatbesidethedriver,noticketwasissued.Ifawomannoticedamanreadingthebookandaskedaboutit,whenthemanrefusedtodescribeithewasinstantlymoreattractiveinhereyes.

AsDr.Brollyhadexplainedit,everyyouthbulgehadatext.Ithadabooktojustifytheactionsitsmenmusttake.TheConquistadorshadtheBible.Mao’sarmyhadhisbookofquotations.TheNazishadMeinKampfjustasAmericanradicalshadSaulAlinsky.

Parentsandteacherswerethrilledtoseeboyspickupabook.Boysandyoungmenwho’dneverwillinglyfinishedabook,theywereporingoverthesepagesforhoursatastretch.

Onlymenwho’dbeeninvitedintoalineageweregivencopies.Onlyamongsuchmencoulditbediscusseduntilallwho’dreaditknewthewordsbyheart.

Toreaditinpublicservedasanopenlybrazenpoliticalact.Eachblue-blackcoverwasadogwhistle.Astatusindicator.Readingitwasanideologicaladvertisementtothelike-minded.

Nolibraryhadacopy.Nobookstoresoldit,thisbookbyTalbottReynolds.

Itjumpedtocatchtheeye.Madetheholderaheroamongthosewhoknewtheplan.Readerscarriedittocatchtheeyeoffellowtravelers.Thebadgeofitsblue-blackcoverdisplayedtheirnumbersandbolsteredtheirconfidence.Itdeclaredthatthebravestamongthebravestamongthebravehadchosenitsbearerasanequal.Andmencarriedthebookeveryday,everywhere,asthey’dcarryaflagintobattle.

Thesameasallthemostimportantbooksitmadesenseonlytothefaithful.LiketheQuranortheBookofMormonorTheCommunistManifesto,ifanonbelieverwereevertoopenacopyshewouldbepuzzled,frustrated,andquicklydismissthetextandsetitaside.Anoutsidercouldneverfinishthebookwhileaconvertcouldreaditamilliontimesfromcovertocoverandfindfreshinsightineverypass.

Thosewhocarriedit,theyweretiredofbeingconsumers.Theywantedtobeconsumed.

Inlieuofchoosingavocationtheyhadbeenchosen.Eachofthesemenhadreceivedhiscalling.Aconscriptionlargerthanthegovernment’sdraftlottery.

Terrence’smotherfinallycaughthim.Hewasinbed,reading.He’dbeenreadingtheblue-blackbooksincehislasthospitalstay,sinceherfatherhaddelivereditviaasympatheticnursewho’dagreednottotellTerrence’smother.Hisfatherhadneverappearedinperson,notinTerrence’shospitalroom,buthe’dwrittenaninscriptiononthetitlepage:“Formyson.Inafewdaystheworldwillbeaverydifferentplace.Bestrong.”

Withinthebook,certainpassageswereunderlined.TerrenceknewenoughtohidethebookbyTalbottReynoldsfromhismother.He’dsmuggledithomewhenhewasdischarged.Thestaffphysicianshadn’tfoundanythingwrong,nothingtoexplainhisseizures.Theyneverdid.Toplayitsafethey’dsimplyincreasedallofhisdosagesofZoloft,prednisone,beta-adrenergicblockingagents,andcolloidalsilver.

Whateverhisfather’sintention,thebookbecameTerrence’sbible.Hereadituponwakingeachdaybecausedawnwastheonlytimehecould.Afterhetookhismorningroundofmedshismindcloudedandhehadhardlytheconcentrationneededtofollowthestorylineofatelevisioncartoon.

Today,forexample,he’dbeenreading:

Ahappypastcripplespeople.Theyclingtoitwithnowherebettertogo.Nothingtoimproveupon.

Whenhedredgedhismemory,theonlydetailhecouldretrieveabouthisfatherwasBrylcreem.ThesmellofBrylcreem,likeacombinationoflanolinandoldtypewriterribbons.ThewayhisfatherwouldpullthepointofacombthroughTerrence’shairtocreateapartalongoneside.Toduplicatehisfather’sownhaircut,onSundaysbeforetheywenttopayacallonGod.NofacedidTerrencesalvage.Nonothingelse.JusttheBrylcreemsmellandthescratchofthatcombalonghisscalpwasallhecouldrecover.

Thatcombdrawingalinelikethispencilhad.Likeaplow.ItthrilledTerrencetoimaginehisfatherunderliningthesewordswithlong,steadystrokes.Carefully,thoughtfullychoosingthemespeciallyforhim,hisson.Eachpassagewasarevelation.Inthepagemarginnexttomany,inthesamesternhandwritingasintheinscription,hisfatherhadwritten,“TellTerry.”Proofthemanwaslookingoutforhim,hoveringinthemargins.Thenexthighlightedpassageread:

Considerthatnoonewantsyoutodiscoveryourfullpotential.Theweakdonotwanttobearoundthestrong.Thestagnantcan’tbearthecompanyofthevigorouslygrowing.

Hewhisperedthewordstohimself,tryingtorepeatthemintohismemory.

Painandsicknesswillalwaysbefallmen.Chooseyours,beitthepainfrommanuallabororthesicknessofoverexertion.Scheduleit.Savorit.Useyourpainsoitwillnotuseyou.

Therewasnowarning.Perhapshe’dforgottentolockthedoor.Eitherthatorhismotherhadstealthilyusedherkeywhilehewasabsorbedinthebook.Thedoorswungaside,andthereshestoodbearinghisbreakfasttraywithitsperfectlycoddledegg,whole-wheattoast,andhalvedgrapefruit.Hereyesseizeduponthebookandblazed,butonlyforamoment.Thenhereyebrowsrelaxed.Hereyesnarrowedwithhostilesuspicion,andsheasked,“Whatareyoureading?”

Ofcoursesheknew.TheTalbottbookwasasensationhotlydebatedontelevisionandtheInternet.Likeallmysticaltexts,fromTheCelestineProphecytoJonathanLivingstonSeagull,thosewholikeditreveredit.Thosewhodidn’tdespisedit.Hismotherfellintothecampofthelatter.Shebenttosetthetrayonhisbedsidetable,slylyeyeingtheopenpages.

Whenhedidn’trespond,sheforcedasmileandsaid,“Gotyouapinkgrapefruit,today!”

Inbed,thefirstraysofdawnilluminatingthewords,silentlyTerrenceread:

Theweakwantyoutoforgoyourdestinyjustasthey’veshirkedtheirs.

Shemust’veknownwhenceitcame.Who’dgivenittohim.Foryearsshe’dkepthisfatheratbay,tellingthenurses,tellingTerrencethathisfatherwasabigoted,race-baitingpsychoobsessedwithmicro-aggressioningthetransgenderedandrape-culturingtipsycoeds.EversinceTerrencehadbegunhavinghismysteriousseizures,she’dbeenhiscaretakerandonlydailyhumancontact.

Shemotionedforhimtoscoochoversoshecouldsitontheedgeofhisbed,herhipspressingagainsthisblanketedthigh.Sheleanedclose,puffingthepillowbesidehishead.Doingsoshesnuckalookattheopenpages.Aloud,sheread:

Wemustalloweachindividualtopersevereortoperishashechooses.

Ascowltwistedhermouth.“Garbage,”shedeclared.Herdisgustedtone,shame-rapinghim.Oneofherhandsgrippedtheedgeofthecoverandshepulledgently.“Giveitsoyoucaneat.”

Whenheheldtightandrefusedtolookupfromthepage,sheasked,“Whatareyouhiding?”Withanotherlessgentletugatthebookshesaid,“You’dthinkIwasplanningtoburnthedamnedthing!”

Seeinghewasdetermined,shesatback.Coollyassessinghim,thebedclothes,thebook,herfacewasflat,expressionless.Amaskofcunning.Shechangedtacks.Inchingherselfcloser,sheleanedoverhim.Shereachedtopressonecoolpalmagainsthisforehead.Saying,“Youreyeslookglassy,”shestrokedhischeeks.“Youfeelwarm.”Brushingsomehairbackfromhistemples,shesaid,“You’reclosetohavinganotherseizure,aren’tyou?”

Thisishowitalwaysstarted.She’dpethisface.She’dcoo.Hismotherwouldlookdeepintohiseyes,tellinghimhelookedpale,hisskinfeltclammy.She’dcroonandpurr,“Mypoor,sickbaby...Myfragile,sickboy...”AndsweatwouldbegintopourdownTerrence’sface.Hiseyeswouldlosefocus.She’dprompt,“Yourearsareringing,aren’tthey?”Andhisearswouldring.

Next,likeacurse,she’dsummontheheadaches,migraines,chills,andthey’dallmanifestinhim.

Thistime,assheranherfingersthroughhishairandcalledforththefitsandspasmsthatwouldlandhimbackinthehospital,thistimeTerrencekepthiseyesontheopenpage.Reading:

Theblackthugconductsgangviolenceandthehomosexualindulgesinpromiscuitybecausebothactsdemonstratepoliticalidentity.Removetheoutsideobserverandyoueliminatetheimpetusfor

thebehavior.

Hervoiceloadedwithscorn,shebaitedhim.“Doyouknowwhatsensiblepeoplearecallingthatbook?”Whenhedidn’tbite,shesnapped,“They’recallingitthe‘newMeinKampf’!”

Terrencefeltthethreatofaseizurepass.Thetrancebroke.Hisbreathingsteadiedandgrewdeep.Hisheartnolongerraced.

Whenshesawherministrationsweren’thavingtheirusualeffect,hismothersatback.Onceagain,sheasked,“Whatareyousoashamedof?”Whenhedidn’trespond,sheasked,“Youdidn’thaveanothernocturnalemission,didyou?”Herhandsdugatthesheetsandblanketsasshedemanded,“Let’sseeyourcatheter!”

Toprotecthimself,Terrencestrainedtorollawayfromher.Huggingthebooktohischestheprotested,“Mother!I’mnineteenyearsold,andI’mtiredofwearingacatheter!”

She’dfoundthecollectionbag,aclear-plasticballoonswollenwithhisnighttimeoutput.Holdingthecollectionbagaloft,sheshookitforemphasis,sloshingandhorrible.“Wecandispensewiththecatheter,”sherailed,“whensomeonequitswettinghisbed!”

Thebedwettingwasonlyanexcuse,Terrenceknew.Yearbyyearforaslongashecouldrecallshe’dmeasuredtheoutputofhisbladderandbowelsandloggedtheresults.Towhatend,he’dneverquestioned,notbeforereadingtheTalbottbook.

Hismotherdroppedtheweightycollectionbagandmadeasudden,violentgrab,snarling,“Giveit!”

Terrenceclungtightlyasshelatchedontothespineandfoughttodragitfromhisgrasp.

Sheslidoffthebed,squattinglow,herfeetplantedonthefloor,pullingwithherfullweight.Withonehandshegrippedthebook.WithherfreehandshereachedforsomethingTerrencecouldn’tsee.Shebattledhalf-heartedlyasshefocusedonsometaskblockedfromhisvisionbytheedgeofthebed.

“Yourfather,”shehissed,“hedoesn’tknowhowsickandweakyouare!”

Terrence’seyesfelluponthecurrentpage.There,thewordssaid:

Whatyouresistpersists.Directoppositiononlystrengthensyouropponent.

Triumphantly,sheliftedherfreehandintotheair.Somehowshe’dmanagedtosnatchthelongtubethatloopedfromhiscatheter,andshe’dwrappedalengthofitaroundherfist.Ifhedidn’trelinquishhisfather’sgiftitwasclearshemeanttoyankthetubingcruelly.Shehadhimbythetackle.

“Handitover,”shegrowled.

Terrencepleaded,“Mother,no!”Buthissteadfastgripdidn’tloosenonthebinding.Theblanketshadfallenaway,revealinghispale,hairlesslegsandarms,therestofhimattiredinonlyawhitecottonT-shirtandbriefs.

Shegavethetubeawarningpull.Thefulllengthofitjumpedandwenttautwhereitenteredthefrontofhistentedunderpants.

Terrencecouldalreadyfeeltheominoustugandcriedout,“Mother,don’t!”Hisvoicecracked,“You’llpullitoff!”Stillheheldtighttohistreasure.

Onehandstillpullingatthecontestedvolume,hismotherusedtheothertogiveaferociousjerk.Thecathetersprangfree,thelongtubecrackinglikeabullwhip.Sprayinghoturineacrosshisbreakfasttray.Dissolvinghispreciousday’sworthofbenzodiazepine.UrinedrizzledontoTerrence’scoddledeggandlightlybutteredwhole-wheattoastwiththecrustsmeticulouslycutoff.

Apainrippedthrough,notjusthistenderjunkbutTerrence’sentireurinarytract,anagonythatmadehishandsspasmandreleasetheirgrip.Thebookslippedaway,andhismotherfellbackward.Thecatheterflailedintheair,jettingitssalty,ambercontents.Theblue-blackbookcameintoviolentcontactwiththeedgeofthebreakfasttray,knockingitfromthenighttable.Thetumblingplatesenteggsandmarmaladeflying.

Asshetumbled,theheavybooksoquicklyreleasedstruckherboldlyacrosstheface.Theimpactmadeadullthwack,followedbyhismother’sgutturalmoanofsuffering.

Hismothersprawledbackward,restingonherelbows.Steamingyellowwastestillshotfromthetubingthathadamereinstantbeforebeenlodgeddeepinherson’surethra.Undertheputridrainofthishellishfountainsheshrieked,“Seewhatyoumademedo!”

Thebook’simpacthadbrokenhernose,layingitsidewaysagainstonecheek.Afrothofbloodandmucuspouredfromhernostrils,makingherwordssputter.Theroomwasashambles,litteredwithurine,blood,andbacon.Thewallpaper,dappledwithorangejuiceandpartiallydissolvedserotoninreuptakeinhibitors.

Withonehand,Terrencegrippedhiswoundedmanhoodinanguish.Thetraumahadalmostturnedhiminsideout.Whiletheshameandrageburnedinhistear-stainedcheeks,hisoppositehandflewtohismouthandhefelltosuckingthethumbfeverishly.That’swhenavoicecametohim,avoicehechosetobelievewashisfather’s.Itbade,“Bestrong.”

Atthis,heswunghisthinlegsoffthesideofthebed.Despitehismother’scursesandsobs,heloweredhisbarefeettothecarpetandtookawobblysteptowardthebathroom.Ignoringtheshoutsthatfollowedhim,hestaggeredtowardthetoilet.Hishandsfumbledwithhisshortsasavoicescreamed,“ForChrist’ssake,putuptheseat!”

Heleftitdown.Straddlingthebowl,hislegsspreadwideapartlikethelegsofAtlas,forthefirsttimeinhislifeTerrenceWestontookhisfirststandingleak.

We’veallwatchedthelittleritual.Whenyougotopaywithafifty-dollarbillatthestore,orahundred,thecashieralwaysholdsitup.Shelooksatthelightshiningthroughandsquintstoseethewatermark.Thecashierwhipsoutafelt-tippedpenandswipesitacrossthefaceofthebill.Becausealazycounterfeiterwillusewell-wornpapermadefromwoodpulp,thepencontainsasolutionofiodinethatreactswiththestarchincelluloseandleavesablackstain.Realcurrencyisprintedonragpapermadefromcottonorlinenfibers.It’smorelikefabricthanpaper.That’swhyrealmoneysurvivesthewashingmachine.Onrealcurrencytheiodinepenleavesnomark.

Masiewouldbethefirsttoadmitshewasageekaboutmoney.Shestudiedthefeelofsecuritythreadswovenintobills.Shelovedwatermarksandcolor-changeinks.

That’showcomeMasieworkedlateattheprinter,tonight.Sheknewprinting,andsheknewmoney,butthiscontractjobwassomethingnew.Aspecialorder.Anewprocess.

Sheliftedoneoftheunprintedsheets.Eventhetermprintingwasinaccurate.Thisprocesswasmorelikeexposingphotographicpapertolight,likedevelopingapicture.

Eachsheetmeasuredanarm’slengthwide.Slipperyandshiny,morestiffthanpaper.Herinstructionsweretoplaceeachsheetinajig.She’dthenplaceatemplateonthesheet,akindofstencil.Andshe’dswitchonanultravioletlightandallowittoshineonthetemplateandsheetforoneminute.She’dremovethesheetandrunitthroughacutterthatdividedthefilmintothirty-six,stiff,thin...coupons,theyhadtobe.

Itwasapromotionalgimmick,Masieguessed.Asthecustomerhadexplained,thefinishedcouponswouldhaveasix-weeklifespan.Afterfifty-odddaysthepatternonthemwouldfadetonothing.

Thewaythecustomerhadexplainedit,thiswasanewtechnologyoriginallydevelopedforcreatingself-erasing,top-secretmilitarydocuments.Itusednanoparticlesofgoldorsilversandwichedwithinathingelsheet.Whentheparticleswereexposedtoultravioletlighttheybondedinthepatternoftheexposedarea.Thus,theybondedtocreatethepatternsallowedbythestencil.Sheetsimpregnatedwithgoldparticleswerered,andtheexposedareasbecamebluewheretheyfilledwiththebondedparticles.Sheetsimpregnatedwithsilverparticleslookedyellow,andtheexposedpatternsofparticlesturnedviolet.

Masieliftedastackofthefinishedcoupons.Thecolorswerevividred-and-blueoryellow-and-violet,patternedwithconvoluteddetailssimilartopapercurrency.Alacyborder,intricatebackgroundcrosshatching.Apictureofapompousmandominatedoneside.ThecaptionidentifiedhimasTalbottReynolds.“AbsoluteMonarchAppointedbytheCouncilofTribes,”thecaptionread.Helookedfamiliar,asifhecould’vebeenanactorshe’dseenonforgettabletelevisioncommercials.

Ontheoppositesideoftheredcouponsasloganread:“MoneyIsBetterBurntThanSpentonFolly.”

Ontheyellowcoupons,thesloganwas:“HoardedFoodRots.HoardedMoneyRotsMan.HoardedPowerRotsMankind.”

Itwasn’tvisible,notyet,butthetinyparticleswerealreadybeginningtobreaktheirbondsanddriftapart.Thecouponsmightbelegiblenow,butinsixweeksthey’dappearblank.

Itwasbuilt-inobsolescence.Talkingtoherself,Masiemuttered,“EzraPoundwould’velovedthis!”

Shecountedthecut-outcoupons,bandedthemwithpaperinstacksofonehundred,andpackedtheminboxesforshipmenttothecustomer.Whenthecrewswitchedduties,sherantheprinter—actuallyitwasavacuumframethatsuckedtheairoutandmadesurethetemplatewastightagainstthesheetoffilm.Thiswaytheimageswerecrispandsharp,althoughonlyshort-lived.

Asamoneygeek,she’dstudiedhowthepoetEzraPoundhadadvocatedforavegetable-basedcurrency.Assomeformofmoneythatwouldquicklyrot,itwouldforceholderstospenditorinvestitassoonaspossible.Noonecouldpileupgreatfortunesincash,andmoneywouldn’toutlastpeople.Itwouldbeasperishableasaloafofbreadorapassinghouroflabor.MasieknewitwasradicalthinkinglikethisthatattractedPoundtoFascism,particularlytoMussolini,particularlytothemoneytheoristSilvioGesell.Gesellurgedthatalllargedenominationcurrencyhaveanexpirationdatesothatitcouldnotbehoardedbytherichwhilethepoorstarvedforemployment.InPound’sdream,banksandrichmencouldneverenslaveanationwiththepowerofitsownmonetaryunits.

Thesecrazyideashadlandedhiminprisonsandmentalhospitalsformuchofhislife.

ToMasie,theideasdidn’tsoundsoinsane.TohermoneyoughttobeagatewaylikeSuperman’stelephonebooththatallowedtransformation.Moneywasagar,aether,undifferentiatedstuffthathadtotakeanewformquicklyorperish.

Asshepackedacartonwithstacksofredbills,Masiewonderedabouttheirpurpose.Whatforward-thinkingadvertisingagencywasbehindthis?Whatevertheiruse,ithadtobesoon.Withinweeksthey’dbeworthless.Theycouldstillberestoredusinganotherburstofultravioletlight,butonlytheoriginalcreatorswouldhavethetemplate.Whoeverownedthestencilownedthemeansofproducingmore.

Theshippinglabelsshowedtheboxeswereheadedtocitiesthroughoutthenation.Mostlikelyherswasn’ttheonlyshopproducingthem.WhatevertheCouncilofTribeswas,itwouldn’tbeasecretformuchlonger.

Thelisthadbeenajoke.Alisticle.Clickbait.Themosteasilyconsumedformofinformationinthepost-informationageofchurnalism.Nooneknewwhofirstpostedit.Late-nighttalk-showwagsjokedthattheyweren’thatedasmuchasothertalk-showwags.Otherssawitasawaytorebrandthemselvesasvillainsorvictims.Forhateisaformofpassionateattachment,andtobedespisedseemsbetterthantobeunknown.

Thuspeoplewhofeltneglected,theynominatedthemselvesandwerehurtnottobeseconded.Hatetooktheplaceofloveasourmeasurementofpopularity.Forittakeseverythingtobeloved.Tobelovedistoserveasaslave.Hatedemonstratesacompletefreedomfrompleasingothers.Likewildfirealmosteveryonealivewasnominated,butfewreceivedthevotestheyneededtosustain

anyrank.Thosewhoremainedwerepublicfigureswho’dbetrayedhugegroupsoffollowers.Thestaggeringvotetotalswenttomediafigures,actors,journalists.Byfarthemosthatewenttoteachersandprofessorswho’dbeenexposedforteachingstudentswhattothinkinplaceofhowtothink.

Howeverthegreatesttalliesofragewereheapeduponpoliticalfigures.Thosepreeningpublicservantswhoconstantlycreatedbiggerproblemsandofferedthemselvesastheonlysolution.

Visitorstothesitemarveledovertheskyrocketingscores.TheyscrolledthroughthelistofAmerica’sLeastWantedandlookedfortheonesnearestthemselves.Thispornographyofpublichatred.

Thenamesofordinarypeopledroppedawayevenasthevotessnowballedforthefamous.Newdistractionspresentedthemselves,andmostpeopleforgotthelist.DismisseditastheyhadtheTamagotchi...theBeanieBabies...pogs.

Butinobscuritythelistcontinuedtoswell.Theremainingnamestickedupwardintothemillionsofvotes.Andnoonegaveathoughttothelistexceptforthemysteriousteamthathadcreatedit.Visitorsdownloadedcopiesofthefinalversion.Andjustasmysteriouslyasthelisthadonceappeared,suddenlyitwasgone.

Thelistdidnotexist.

Charliewasdeterminednottolook,notatfirst.

Andthenhe’dlooked,andhewasn’tgoingtolookanymore,butthenhelookedsomemore.Andwhathe’ddreadedmosthadcometrue.Boththeirnameswereonthelist.

Henotedthedateonwhicheachnamehadbeenposted.Thefirsthadbeenpostedonlyadaybeforethesecond.Neitherofthetwohadenoughvotestostayonthelistpastthethree-weekmark.EverydayCharliechecked,andeverydayheprayedbothnameswouldjustdropoffthelistforlackofvotes.

Justhoursbeforethethreshold,bothnameshadrackeduptoomanyvotes.Theywerebothtargets.Bothweregoingtodie.

Thetwoweren’tinCharlie’sregion,butthey’dbetargetsforsomelineage.Anditwascompletelyunethical,buthedrovearoundalldaySundayuntilhefoundaphoneboothsoisolatednoonewouldoverhearhisconversation.Theboothstoodattheedgeofapayparkinglotnearthetrainstation.Charlieboughtlatexglovestopreventleavinghisfingerprintsonthebuttons,andhedumpedouttheMasonjarwherehecollectedsparechangeandpickedoutallthequarters.Heworesunglassesandabaseballcapwiththebrimpulledlow.Heparkedawaysfromthephoneboothandwalkedaroundblockafterblock,alwaysmakingsurenobodywasfollowinghim.Andassurreptitiouslyasslidingintothedoorofadirtybookstore,heside-steppedintothephonebooth.

Hispocketsloadedwithquarters,theweightofthesequarterstugginghispantslowonhiships,Charliestuffedhishandsinthelatexglovesanddialedalong-distancenumberheknewbyheart.

Thephonerangattheoppositeend,andCharlieprayedforsomeonetopickup.

“Hello?”Aman’svoice.

Charliesaid,“Dad?”

Hisfatherasked,“Charlie?”Awayfromthephone,heshouted,“Honey,pickuptheextension.It’sthedropoutcalling!”

Charliescannedthesurroundingparkinglot.Intothereceiverheasked,“HowsooncanyouandMomgettoCanada?”

Aclickwasfollowedbyhismother’svoice.“You’reinCanada?”

“No,”Charlieinsisted.“YouandDadneedtogettoCanada,fast!”

Hisfatherchuckled.“Withthebigwarcoming,it’syouwhoneedstodothedraftdodging!”

Hismotheradded,“Ifyouwerestillincollegeandhittingthebooks,Charlie,youwouldn’tbeeligibleforgettingdrafted.”

Charliedidn’twanttoargue,buthedidn’twanttotiphishand,either.“Mom,thatwasVietnam.Thisisdifferent.”Hisnervousfingerswentbacktohispantspocket,frompockettophone,andcontinuedtodropquarter,quarter,quarterintotheslot.Eachcoinsetoffabell.Betweenandbehindtheirwords,thebellkepttolling.

Hecouldn’tsayasmuch,buttheywerebothonthelist.Evenifhetoldthemthefullsituationthey’druntothepoliceandthepolicewouldmostlikelykillthemforknowing.Afterthat,thepoliceorsomeonewouldkillCharliefortellingthem.Theironlyhopewastofleethecountry.Becauseeveniftheyhidout,stayedathome,whatever,someone,somedaywouldtargetthem.

Charlietriedtoreasonwiththem.Heasked,“Dad,ifyouandIwereinalifeboatwithmyson,andIcouldonlysaveyouorhim,whodoyouthinkIshouldsave?”

Hismothergasped,“Charlie!Youhaveason?”Shesoundedshockedanddelighted.

“Theoretically,Mom,”hereplied.“ShouldIsaveyouormykid?”

ToCharlie,thecomingslaughterwouldelevatehimandallhisdescendantstothestatusofroyalty.Butitwouldalsokillhisparents.Aconundrum.Theywerebothprofessorsatajuniorcollege,theydabbledinlocalcityandcountypolitics,therewereadozenreasonsforpeoplewantingthemrubbedout.But,still,theywerehismomanddad.Itwasdifficulttoweighthelovehefeltforthemagainstthelovehe’dfeelsomedayforhisfuturesonsandgrandsons.Hisloveforthemwasconflicted.Hisloveforhisunbornsonswasunqualified.

“So,”heapproachedtheissuefromanewdirection,“ifIgetdrafted,doyouwantmetokillpeople?”

Withouthesitation,hisfathersaid,“Tosaveournation,yes.”

Thebellrangandrang.

Ashefedthephonequarters,Charlieasked,“WhatifIdie?”

Hismothersaid,“Godforbid!”

Anotherquarterrangthebell.

Charlieasked,“Andifitmeantsavingourcountry,wouldyouwantmetokillsomeone’sparents?”

Hisfingerssweatinginsidethelatexglove,hishandwenttohispocketandfounditempty.He’drunoutofquarters.Thebellshadstopped.

Afterapause,hisfathersaid,“Yes,ifthat’syourmission.”

Toclarify,Charlieasked,“You’dwantmetomurdersomeone’smomanddad?”

Hismotherasked,“What’sthatsound?”Sheasked,“Areyoucrying?”

Yes,hewascrying.Charliewascrying.Hesniffedastearswasheddownhischeeks.

Hisfatherasked,“Isthisaboutdrugs?Charlieboy,areyouhigh?”

Beforethey’dbecutoff,Charliechokedoutthewords,“Iloveyouguys.”

Hisfathersaid,“Thenwhythebigboo-hooing?”

Andthat’swhentheconnectionwentdead.

GregoryPiperwatchedtelevision,waitingforafinaldecisiononhisaudition.TelevisionwasbetterthantheInternet.Ifheranacrosshimselfontelevisionitwasbyaccidentanditcouldstillsendafrissonofchemicaleuphoriaintohisbloodstream.Surfingthewebitwastooeasytosearchhimselfandbuildalifetimeoutofwatchingvideoofhisworkandperusingstillimagesofhimself.TooSunsetBoulevard.OntheInternet,apersoncouldspendalifetimeinegomaniacalself-worship.

Sittingonthecouch,heconsideredthecash.Thetenthousanddollars.Consideredwhetherheoughttomentionittohisagentornot.Hishandsqueezedtheremote,bouncingbetweenchannels.Onone,theactorJohnWayneappeared,andheambledintothecenterofawhitespaceandfixedthecamerawithhistrademarkglower.Clearlythiswasasequencedigitallyliftedfromsomeclassicfilmandinsertedintoanewcontext.TheDukewhippedoffhisStetsonanddashedthehatagainstthedustylegofhischaps.“Shucks,pilgrim,”hedrawled.“Iain’tmadeittothetoiletthistime...”

Piperclickedtheremoteandtheimagefroze.

Itwasacommercialtosellabsorbentunderpants.

Hewatchedinshock.Clearlytheactor’sestatewaswillingtolicenseWayne’simageforanything.Thiswassomethingfewactorsforesaw.Howtheirresidualcelluloidselfcouldbecomputermanipulatedtoserveasaslave,adigitalzombiebeyonddeath.TheactorRobinWilliamshadbeenamongthefirsttodraftawillforbiddingelectronicmisuseofhisimage.Astarwithlessforesight,adigitalizedAudreyHepburncontinuedtowork,shillingforGalaxyChocolates.FredAstairesoldvacuumcleaners.MarilynMonroehawkedSnickerscandybars.

Likeghosts,Piperthought.

Anearworm,likeasong,echoedinhishead.

“AdjustmentDayisuponus,”herepeatedtohimselfashewatchedthetelevision.He’dbeenaskedtorecitethatlinesooftenhe’dprobablynevervanquishitfromhishead.

Theenvelopeofcashwasstashedinhiskitchen,inacabinet,stuffedinsideanemptycerealbox.Hewouldspendsomeonalawyer.WouldfinallywritehisownLastWillandTestament.He’dmakesurenoonecouldharnesshisimageafterhisdeath.Thatdemisebeingpeacefulandpainlessandinthedistant,distantfuture,hesupposed.

BackinBeforeTimes...intheworldyouwanttothinkisstillreal...WalterhaddrivenwestthroughIllinois.He’drantedthatthegreatestproofoflove’spoweristhatitcouldn’tbereducedtowords.Loveisn’tascientificexperimentthatcouldbereplicated.Nomanhastobearocketsurgeontorecognizelove.It’slikethatpoemaboutignorantarmiesthatclashbynight.Thatpoem.Wherethere’snojoyorcureforpain.

Whilehiskidnappednewoldmanhadlistenedorsleptordiedinthetrunkofthecar,WalterhaddescribedShasta.EverydetailaboutShasta.

He’dsurmisedthatloveisamissionamangoesoneveryday.Amissionamannevercompletesuntildeath.Inthatway,trueloveisasuicidemission.

Dawsonwasdeterminednottolook.Butthenhe’dlooked,andhewasn’tgoingtolookanymore,butthenhelookedsomemore.Andwhat’swhenhesawthenameonthelist.

Thenamehadalreadyrackedupanimpressivetally.Itwouldn’tbeDawson’slineage,butsomelineagewasgoingtoearnbigvotesonthistarget.Futileasitseemed,Dawsonknewhe’dstillhavetomakeaneffort.SomedayRoxannewouldaskifhe’dmadeaneffort,andhe’dhavetoexplain.Tellherhowhe’dtried.

Dawsonboughtathrowawayphoneatthe7-ElevenandtookittothecenterspanoftheMorrisonBridge,aplacewherenoonewouldoverhear.Notoverthesoundoftraffic.Hedialedanumberfrommemory.Asitrangontheotherend,helookeddownonthedarkwateroftheWillametteRiverandprayedthenumberwasstillvalid.Ithadbeenalongtime.

“Hello?”Aboy’svoice.

Dawsonasked,“Quentin?”

Hissonasked,“Dad?”Musicblaredinthebackground.“Dad,Icanbarelyhearyou.”

Dawsonshouted,“Turndownyourmusic!”

Againstthemusic,hissonshouted,“IsMomokay?”

Dawsonshouted,“Yourmotherisfine,butyouneedtogetyourasstoCanada!”Outhereinpublic,shoutinglikethiswasrisky.Carspassed,butthebridge’ssidewalkwasempty.

Hissonshouted,“Ifyoumeanthewar,I’mjoiningup.Dr.Steiger-DeSotosaysit’smydutyasapan-genderedindividualtoshowtheworldthatcourageknowsnogender!”

Whateverhiskidhadjustannounced,Dawsonwasn’tcertain.Inresponse,heshouted,“Therewon’tbeawar!”

Hissonshouted,“Dr.Steiger-DeSotosaysthewarisnecessarytopreservehumanrights!”

ItwasDawsonshouting,“I’mtryingtosaveyourlife!”

Hissonshouted,“Dr.Steiger-DeSotosaysI’mnotachildanymore!”

Dawsonshouted,“Turndownyourstereo!”

Againstthemusic,hissonshouted,“Dr.Steiger-DeSotosaysI’mhermostpromisinggradstudentandthatIshouldstartthinkingformyself!”

Dawsonriskedeverything.IfhetoldandQuentinwenttothepolice,they’dbothbekilled.Roxannewouldbealoneinthecomingnewworld.Noonewouldbenefit.Still,Dawsontold.“Yournameisonalisttobekilled!”

Hissonlaughed.Laughedandlaughed.“Dad,”hesaid,catchinghisbreath,“Iknow!Isn’titgreat!”

Dawsondidn’tunderstand.

“Ievenvotedformyself!”laughedhisson.“It’snothing.”Hesighed.“Dad,don’tworry.It’slike...it’slikethenewFacebook!”

Dawsontriedtoexplainthetruth.Abeepinterrupted.

Hissonsaid,“Dad?”

Thebeepinterrupted.

Hissonsaid,“Dad,Dr.Steiger-DeSotoisontheotherline.”

Thebeepinterrupted.

Hissonsaid,“Dad,Iloveyou.Seeyouafterthewar!”Andtheconnectionwentdead.

AndDawsonthoughtofthequotefromtheTalbottbook:

Wemustkillthosewhowouldhaveuskilloneanother.

AndDawsonletthephoneslipfromhisfingersanddroptodisappearwithhardlyasplashintothedeepestpointintheriver’sdeepwater.

Jamalcalledhismomtotellherhewouldn’tmakeitfordinneronSunday.HecalledfromahotelsuiteinAlbany.Eatingaroundhim,perchedonvariouschairsandsofasaswellasseatedonthefloor,thegroupofthemeatingroomservice,hisfellowteammatesawaitedtheirturnonthephone.Nothiswholelineage,justasegmentofhissquad.Theyweresilentlydrinkingwineandbeerfromtheminibar.Theywerelisteningaseachtookthephoneandcalledhisfamily.Hewantedtosharethesecret.TotellhismamaabouttheDeclarationofInterdependenceandhowitpromisedahomelandwherenoracewouldliveunderanotherlikeanoccupyingarmy.Eachracewouldcalltheshotsinitsownhomelandandnominoritywouldbecalledoutbythehostilestaresofthemajority.Like-mindedcoulddictatetheirownculture.Childrenwouldn’tbeschooledtoserveashumancoloniesofanalienculturalimperialism.

Onthephone,shedemanded,“Whatdoyoumeanyou’renotstoppingby?”

Hewantedtotellherabouthislineage.Forthefirsttimeinhumanhistoryeachlineofpowerwasn’tgoingtobebasedonbloodandmarriagealliances.Jamallookedatthemanwho’dinvitedhim,thenatthemanhehadinvited.Thiscohortwasonlyasmallsegmentofalineagethatcrisscrossedthenation,tonight.Thesemen,eatingroom-servicepizza,eatingclubsandwichesandsliders,andpretendingnottoeavesdrop,theirbrotherhoodwasbasedonmutualrespectandtrustandadmiration.Herehewasonelinkinthischainofmen,noneofwhomwerehisenemy.Everyoneofwhichexpectedhimtobenothinglessthanahero.

HewantedtoreadtoherfromtheTalbottbook,thepassagethatwent:

Thelastthingablackmanwantstobeisanotherfakewhiteman.

Thelastthingahomosexualwantstobeisanotherimitationheterosexual.

Thelastthingawhitemanwantstobeisanotherphonyparagon.

Onthephone,hismamaasked,“Jamal?”Notallscreechylikebefore,sheasked,“Whataren’tyoutellingme?”

Ifhetoldheranything,she’drushdownandinsinuateherself.Thatwasherway.

Tonight,onthelastnightoftheoldregime,thelinesofpowerwereassemblingoutsidestatehousesandcourthouses.Thoseinvitedbytheinvitedbytheinvitedinlineageslinkedbytrust,theymettheirfellowsforthefirsttimeandgaspedinhappyaweattheirownnumbers.Tribeschosenfromthebest,nottheweakest,theygatheredtowaitoutsideofcityhallsandalltheplaceswhereelectedtraitorswouldreturnthecomingmorning.

Ifatarget’svotecountwasastronomical,ateammightbedispatchedtolieinambushoutsidethetarget’shome.Otherwisetheycampedinreadygroups,noonementioningtheirtask.Thetimeforpracticingandplanninghadpassed.Theircomingactionshadtobeasautomaticasputtingontheirpantsbeforetheirshoes.

Mostwerequiet,savingeverythingforthenextday’swork.

Tohiseyesthegroupinthehotelsuitelookedlikethatpainting,thatchurchpaintingshowingChristandhishomeboyschowingdown.ThatLastSupperpicture.Onlywiththempassingaphoneso,manbyman,eachcouldcallhomeandmakehisgood-byes.Nottoexplainhimself,buttomakehispeace.

Theywereanarmyoflonewolves.

ForJamaltheideaofpowerdidn’ttranslateintosexanddrugs.Ashesawit,thoseshort-termpleasureswerethedistractionsmensoughtwhentheyhadnorealpower.Towieldpower,realpower,meantapeaceofmindandsatisfactionbeyondthenumbnessanddumbnessthatthebongandthewhorecouldprovide.

Powermeantaccesstoanythingandeverything.Meaningamanwouldn’tneedtohustleandhoard.Itmeantalifeunencumberedbyback-upplans.Alternateroutes.Secondchoices.

TheTalbottbookstateditsowell:

Eachgroupmustinhabitahomelandwhereitconstitutesthenorm.Otherwiseeitherself-destroyingself-hatredorother-attackingself-aggrandizingoccurs.Drinking,drugs,andtoxicsexualbehaviors

arisewhenculturesarecompelledtosharepublicspace.Nocultureshouldbeheldtotheexpectationsandsubjectedtothewitheringgazeofanother.

Youngpeopleintheirownnationstate,they’dbereleasedfromthecollege-prepstandardsofthealienEuropeanculturethatsoughttostandardizeeveryhumanbeingregardlessofhisnaturaltalentsandinclinations.Thecurrentlyimposedone-size-fits-allcodeofhumanbehavior.PowermeantJamalnothavingtopresenthimselfasanimperfectcopyofsomeonehe’dneverwantedtobeinthefirstplace.

Hislineagehadrejectedtheproscribed,standardizedeverythingoflawsandschools.Thatchutes-and-laddersgameofrulesandtaxeswhereittookforevertoclimb,butonlyonemisstepsentamanintopovertyorprison.

Jamalsensedhowotherswerewaitingtomaketheircalls.Helistenedtohismother’sworriedbreathingandthekitchennoisebehindher.Hewantedtotellherthataftertomorrowtheworldwouldbedifferent.Throughhim,herlifewouldbeimprovedandnoble.They’d,allofthem,beasclosetoroyaltyastheDeclarationofInterdependenceallowed.

Everyone’ssuccessdependedoneveryone.Andduetothat,nonewantedtodisappointsuchhighexpectations.Eachstrovetobeworthyofthehonorbestoweduponhimbyhiscomrades.Byhistribe.

Jamalwantedtotellhismamaeverything.Hewantedtosayhelovedher,buteverybodywouldhear.Instead,heasked,“Feedmydog?”

Shesoundedrelieved.“YouwantIshouldfeedBouncer?”

Hecouldhearherdeciding.Likeshewantedtoyellandtellhimtodraghisasshomeandfeedhisowndamneddog,butlikeshedidn’twanttoyellifthismightbetheirlasttalkonEarth.Heexchangedlookswiththemanhe’dinvited.AmanwhoknewhowJamal’smamacouldget.Finally,heasked,“Please?”

Somethinghe’dneverheardheheardnow.Overthephonehismamastartedtocry.Soevenwithhisteamlistening,hesaid,“Iloveyou,Mama.”Hesniffed.Hecouldn’thelpit.“Justfeedmydog,okay?”

Hismamasniffed.Hushedsohecouldbarelyhear,shesaid,“Okay.”Hervoice,scared.

Jamalendedthecallandhandedthephonetothenextman.

Amongthosewhowaitedforthedawnweretheformerjournalists.Theybidedtheselastfewhoursoutsidewhatremainedofthemajornewspapers.Theyloiteredonthesidewalksaroundthetelevisionheadquarters.Honingtheirresolvewastheknowledgethatthefewjournalistswho’dretainedtheircareersdidsobyinflatingliestoterrifyandenragethepublictrust.Tellingthetruthwasn’tsufficientpower.

Asconsolationtheremainingjournalistsconvincedthemselvesthatnoabsolutetruthsexisted.Thisnewuntruththeypropagatedasthenewtruth.Theentertainmentvalue,theabilitytotitillateorprovoke,cametobethelitmustestofanynewtruth.

Theirgoalnowwastoshapepeople’smindsandwarpinformationtothatpurpose.Honestreportage,whichpeopleinademocracyneededasbadlyastheyneededtobreathe,ceasedtobeapriorityfortheFourthEstate.Thosejournalistswhocouldn’tbecorrupted,theywerediscarded.

Theytestedeachotherwithphotosdisplayedontheirphones.Eachasmilingheadshotofadistinguishedmanorwomanwithneatlystyledhairandagleamingsmile.Grayhairordyed.Wearinganecktieorpearlnecklace.Andthechallengewastonamethepersonandgivehisorhervotetallyfromthelist.Ortorecognizethatthephotowasaninnocentwho’dneverappearedonthelistandwasn’tdeemedatarget.

Thesewerethehollow-cheeked,flinty-eyedformernewshoundswhogatheredoutsideradiostationsandcablenetworks,readytoreturnobjectivitytothepublicairways.

Onthatsamenight,EstebanandBingbidadozenoftheirclosestfriendsattendapotluck.Suppingfrompaperplatesloadedwithmulligatawnyandmoledepollo,thelocalsegmentoftheirlineagefinalizedtheirlistoftargets.Despitetheirweeksofdrilling,apprehensionhungintheairlikethepungentcurry.

Astheassembledmenate,EstebanreadaloudfromtheTalbottbook:

It’slivingamongheterosexualsthatmakesthehomosexualfeelabnormal.Onlyamongwhitesdoblacksfeelinadequate.Andonlyamonghomosexualsandblacksdowhitesfeelthreatenedandguilty.Nogroupshouldbeblightedbytheintellectualexpectationsandthemoralyardstickof

another.

Standinginthecenterofthegroup,thebookopeninhishands,heread:

Artshouldnotbesocialengineering.Artthatseekstorepairpeoplemustberootedfromsociety.

Thenextline,Bingknewbyheart:

Bearingthatinmind,wemustalloweachmantodecideuponhisownhappiness.

BeforehewaswithEsteban,tinyBinghadbeenembroiledinanunhealthyrelationshipwithhispimp.DespiteAudreyHepburnbeinghislifetimeidol,Bing’slifehadbeenafarcryfromthatdepictedinBreakfastatTiffany’s:swankynightclubsandjumpingoutthetopofsuper-sizedbirthdaycakestothevociferousapplauseofmobsoflove-struckShriners.No,inactualitywhenBing’sformerpimpspoke,hewasallthetime,“Thesedicksain’tgoingtosuckthemselves,bitch!”

SowhenEstebanhadmadehisplay,thetiny,youngermanlistened.Theolder,sophisticatedCubanhadinvitedhimtotakeuparmsintheirlineageofpower,andBingrecognizedanimprovedcircumstancewhenhesawit.

ClosingtheTalbottbookandcarefullysettingitaside,Estebanproclaimed,“QueerbodieshavealwaysbeentheshocktroopsinWesterncivilization.”

Wheninnercitieshadrotteddowntothecharredskeletonsoftheironce-eleganthousingstock,hesaid,itwasqueerbodiesthathadbroughtbackthosecrime-riddenneighborhoods.Queerhomesteadershadnochildrentoriskinthefailedschoolsystems.Strongqueerbacksandbrightqueermindshadnothingexcepttheirownlivestorisk!ThoseintrepidpioneershadsettledtheharshwildernessofdecayedSavannahandthederelictwastelandsofBaltimoreandDetroit.Thosequeersettlershadarrestedthedeathspiralofeachlocaltaxbase.Withqueerresolvethey’dtamed

thelawlessurbanfrontier.Withqueersweatequitythey’dboostedthelandvalues.

Hereandthere,hushedcriesof“Amen,brother”punctuatedEsteban’sfevereddelivery.

“Whennobodyelsedared,”hecalledout,“itwasqueercouragethatnailedtheroofsbackonthosehouses!Itwasqueerdeterminationthatrepairedthedryrotandmadetheghettointoasafeinvestmentforwhitebankers.”

Hedescribedhowrisingpropertyvalueshadattractedaspateofheterosexuals.Improvedschoolsandcloseproximitytocityserviceshadbroughtmanymore.Clearly,Estebanhadmerelystartedtobuildhiscase.

Helookedfromlistenertolistener,lettingastretchofquietpassbeforeheredirected.

“Forbetterorworse—”hejabbedaplasticforkforwardforemphasis“—queerbodieshavealwaysbeentheadvanceguardinemergingpolitics,too!”

Citingrecentscholarlywritingsasproof,hedescribedhowMalcolmXhadgoneonthedownlow,servicingthewealthywhitemenhe’dlaterreturntorob.“Butdowecelebratethesubversivequeerenergyoftheman?”hedemanded.“Thatherowhosoughttosubvertpowerbyanymeanspossible?”

Ageneralchorusof“No!”and“Hell,no!”wentupfromthesmallcrowd.

“Don’tevengetmestartedonJamesBaldwin!”Estebanwailed.“Theman...theprophet...thepoetlaureatewhowrotetheliturgyofhisentirerace,andhispeoplewon’tcelebratehisqueerspirit!”

NotonlydidEstebanstewameanchickenmarsala,buthewasholdingforthwithapeptalkthepowerofwhichBinghadneverheard.

Foodanddrinkswentignoredandpeoplesetdowntheirspicymealsandraisedtheirhandsandswayedtogetherintheirshowofunity.TinyBingcouldonlygrin;hewasproudtowitnesstherhetoricalmightofhisman.

“Notsohelpful,butjustashistoricandjustasignored,”wailedEsteban,“wasanotherlittlequeerboy!”

Teasinghislisteners,hedescribedachildwildlyinlovewithaclassmatewhorejectedhim.Thissameboyhadgrowntobecomeadecoratedsoldierbeforefindinghimselfimpoverished.Hisyouthhadopenedthedoorsandwalletsofwealthymaleadmirers,andtheyoungmansoonfoundhimselfleadingapoliticalparty.Andnotlongafter,helminganentirecountry.

“Arguablythemostpowerfulleaderofthetwentiethcentury.”Estebanspatthewordsindisdain.“Andnobodywillspeakofhowhisqueerheartbroughthimtogreatness.”

Thisdemagogue,thislovelornmustachioedgigolohadbuiltanentourageoflike-mindedqueerleadersandlaunchedastyleofvisualimagerythatcontinuestobeemulatedtothisday.Butwhentheradicalqueernessofhispoliticalmovementwasexposedandridiculedbytheworldpress,thatsameleadercalledforthewholesaleexecutionofhisentirequeerpowerstructure.

“Inonenight,”Estebanranted,“theyweresummarilyexecutedandthemanhimselfwastheonlysurvivor,forcedtohidehisqueershameandsufferittohissuicide.”

HisaudiencehungonEsteban’severyastonishingutterance.

“Thatman,”heswore,“inallhisqueerpowerandcowardice,wasnoneotherthan—”HelookedtoBing.

Theyoungermanoffered,“NotAdolfHitler!”

Estebannoddedinwordlessaffirmation.

Herehisaudiencegasped.TheboywhomlittleAdolfhadlovedingrammarschool,herevealed,wasLudwigWittgenstein,atalentedJewwhowouldmaturetobecomeakindofanti-Hitler,abrilliantphilosopherandteacherunafraidtoconcealhisqueerself.InventorofWittgenstein’sDuck-Rabbit.AsforthenightwhensomanyofHitler’scompatriotswereslaughtered,thatwasthelegendaryNightoftheLongKniveswhentheNaziPartypurgeditselfofitsfoundingqueermembers.

Unspoolingbeforethespellboundpotluckerswasahistoryheretoforeforbiddentotheirears.

“Yes,”Estebanforgedonward,“eveninthenobleWomen’sMovement...”

AftertheworkofBettyFreidan,afterthelaborofthe1960s,andthebloodspilledbyagenerationofqueerwomen,theleadershadevictedtheirqueersistersinanefforttomakeliberationmorepalatabletomainstream,middle-classwomen.Heterosexualwomen.Historywouldalwaysrepeatthispattern:Queerfootsoldiersblazingthepathandbeingdismissedoncetheheavyliftingwascomplete.

Alreadybeingdistributedamongthem—amongallthetribesandlineages—wasabook.Becauseallgreatdoingsrequiretheirmanifesto.Everycopyofthisbookwasboundintherichestblue-blackandboreitstitleandthenameoftheauthoronthecoveringildedlettering.BeitTheCommunistManifesto,theBible,theKoran,TheFeminineMystique,orSaulAlinsky.

“Considereveryhipster,”Estebansighed.Onehandflutteredtodemonstratehowwordsnowfailed.Heshookhisheadasifperplexed.“They’recoveredwithtattoosandriddledwithpiercings,butfewofthemknowthenameJeanGenet.AndnoneknowoftheUrbanAboriginalcultureof1970squeerSanFranciscothatrevivedtheprimitiveartsofbodymodification!”

Heallowedtheenergyintheroomtosettle.Everyoneofthemfelttheburdenoffailure.Thesteadfastmannerinwhichhistoryhadrefusedtocelebrateorevenacknowledgetheeventsofqueerhistory.Manysniffedbacktears.Theirfeastofunitybegantofeellikeafuneral.EstebansnuckaglanceatBingtoreassurehimthatallwasnotlost.

“Beginningtomorrow,”hesaidinasoftgrowl,“historywillnolongerignoreus.”Hisvoicerising,hecontinued,“Ourlineageofpowerwillproveitself!Wewillharvestmanytargets,manymorethananyotherlineage!”Heshoutedtobeheardovertherumblingagreementaroundhim.

Bingtookuptherallyingcry.“Wewillproveourqueerpowerandearntherighttocontrolthenation...thatcontrolstheworld!”

Lostwereanyfurtherindividualwordsasthelustyhuzzahsofallfilledtheloft.

Charlieandhisfellowsbowedtheirheadsandprayedforthesoulsofmenwhohadneverfoundtheirdestiny.Theyinvokedthedeadandinvitedthoseancestorstojointhem.Andthewarpartiesswelledwiththelivingandthenot.AsGarretDawsonhadinvitedCharliedidCharlieeventuallyinviteMartinwho’dinvitedPatrickwho’dinvitedMichaelwho’dinvitedTrevoruntiltheirlineagestretchedfromoceantooceanandcitytocity.Andonthatnightthegreatchieftainlineswerecomplete.

Theirswasatailgateparty,theairscentedwithcharcoalandbarbequesauce.Roughmenattiredinbrimmedcapsandcamouflage-printhuntingensembles.

Abovethemrearedthestatehouse,thewayallgrandioseedificesaredesignedtomakethepeopleoutsidefeelpowerlessandthoseshowcasedwithinfeelomnipotent.Thebloated,uselessshapeofitsmarbledome,itwasacitadeltobetaken.ThenewBastille.GarretDawsonglaredupatitliketheridiculousstagesetitwas.Hispaleblueeyesfilledwithcontempt.

Themarbledome,washedwithfloodlights,appearedsolikeafullmoonfrozenonthehorizon.LikeMolochfedonslaughteredchildrenyetalwayshungry.Itloomedabovethem.Nopoliceofficersaskedtheirbusiness.Noonegavethemasecondglance.

Tomorrowthey’dnolongerbemenwhomeasuredtheirtimebyredtrafficlightsandtheirpleasurebypintsofmicrobrews.

Charlieputtwofingertipsintohismouthandcalledforsilencewithalong,deafeningwhistle.Dawsonwasabouttospeak.

Notatallman,butbuiltstrongandmadeleanbyalifetimeontheshopfloor,Dawsonmodestlyacceptedthecrowd’ssilentattention.

“Thequeers...,”saidhe,andhefaltered.

Beginningwithanewbreath,herepeated,“Thequeersbecameartistsbecausenothingtheycoulddoinpubliccamenaturally.”

Fromtheirfirstawareness,heexplained,they’dhadtostudyandmimicbehaviorinstinctualtoallothers.Tosurvivetheyneededtoobserveandremember,andindoingsothey’dservedasthe

scholars,artists,andclericsofcivilization.

Likewisetheblackshadraisedfamilies.Tosurvivethey’dbuiltcareersandbusinesses.Blackshadestablishedchurchesandfoughtassoldiersandsetthemselvesasmoralparagonsofvirtuethatoutshonetheirwhitecounterparts.

“Butidentitypolitics,”Dawsoncontinued,“hasreducedthehomosexualtonothingbuthissexualpreference.Ithasreducedtheblacktoonlyhisskin.Andeachhasbecomeacaricatureofhisformerdignifiedself.”

MenlikeDawsonandCharliehadnotlefttheirdrillpressesandlathesinordertorescuethegaysandblacks.Theirlineshadformedtobattlethesamecorruptidentitypoliticsthatwerenowforcingthewhiteracesintoonemonstrousstereotype.

Theirswasperhapsthemeanestofallcaricatures.

Insteadofbeingsalt-of-the-Earthmachinistsandcarpenters,theywerebeingcompelledbymodernpoliticstorallyunderoneflagasgoose-steppingNaziNASCARstormtroopers.

Gayshadbeencoercedintoatwo-dimensionalidentitythathadreducedthemtohypersexualbehavior,andthatbehaviorhaddecimatedtheirnumbers.Blackshadbeentoldtheywerepowerlessunlesstheybecamethugs,sothatanythingthatcouldbeconstruedasdisrespectledtothemmurderingoneanotherinstaggeringnumbers.

“Whitemen,”Dawsonvowed,“willnotbestampededintoadoptingasimilarself-image.”

Onthecontrary,theactionstheytook,theactionsofallthelineageswoulddestroytheideologicalslaveryofcurrentpoliticsandreplaceitwithaworldwhereprovenheroeswouldsteerthecourse.

Veiledbythesmokeofgrillingmeats,themenprayedtobeworthyofthemyriadcreaturesthathaddiedtobringthemlife.Theysurrenderedthemselvestotheirdestinyandaskedforthestrengthtofulfilltheirlabors.

Asthey’dcalledupontheirforefathers,theyreachedouttotheirsonsyettobebornandrecruitedthemtolendtheirstrength.

Latethatsameevening,SenatorHolbrookDanielsdismissedhisusualcontingentofbodyguardsandjoggedalonealongtheNationalMall.Histrimphysiquefilledhimwithasecretpride.Indoordeskworkandlightweightresistancetraininghadlefthimaspryspecimenofmasculinity,andhereflectedonhisprivilegedstatusamongtheWashingtonelite.He’deasilylivetobeonehundred.

Itwasasweetdeal,beingaUnitedStatessenator.Tomorrowpromisedafreehaircutinthesenatorialbarbershop,followedbyaheftyluncheonbillhecouldignoreinanyofthecity’sfinesteateries.Anendlessstreamofwide-eyedcongressionalpageswerewaitingtobegroomedasinterns,evenassexycollege-agedinternswerebeingmarshaledforhissexualpleasure.And—lestheforget—therewasthewarresolutiontorubberstamp.

Twomillionsurplusmen,undistinguishedyoungmen,tomorrowheneededtoresolvetheirliveswithastrokeofhispen.Itwasallinaday’swork.

Atoughjob,hechuckledtohimself,butsomebodyhadtodoit!

Ashejoggedthroughthedarkness,thenightbreezecarriedthearomaofbarbequedpork.Flamesflickeredorangefromalineofgrills.Asthesenatorpassed,agrimcompanyofworking-classmenfellsilentandwatchedhim.Bottlesofbeerlookedsmallintheirhairyfists.Onebeardedruffiancranedhisneckandemittedathunderousbelch.TheirsilentgazeunnervedDaniels,somuchsothathealmoststumbledovertheedgeofaseeminglybottomlesspit.

There,sunkinthelawnatthefootoftheCapitolsteps,yawnedthehugeexcavationhe’dwatchedgrowfromhisofficewindow.Anotherstride,andDanielswould’vetumbledintoitsdepths.Thatnoonehadfenceditoffwithbarricades,itwasinsane.Suchahazard.Hesensedthebeerdrinkers’eyesonhim,andDanielsturnedtoconfrontthem.

Self-consciousandsuddenlyfeelingvulnerable,hewantedtotellthemtheyweretrespassing.Themallwasclosedtocook-outsandalcohol.Butsomethingintheircoldeyesmadehimholdhistongue.Manyofthemheldcamerasandfilmedhim.Othersswilledbeer.Thesteakshissedandspat,drippinggobbetsofhotfatthatsentupgeysersofbrightsparks.Menglaredsullenlyathimastheyliftedribsanddrumstickstotheirmouths.Theirhugeteethmadeahorriblesound,gnawingagainstthebonesandstrippingawaythegristle.

Inhisfutileanger,thesenatorstoodatthelipofthedeepholeandpointedintoitsemptiness,shouting,“Whenwillthisbefilled?”Whennooneresponded,heshouted,“Thisisahazard!”Anoafishbrutebrokewind.Determinedtohavethefinalword,SenatorDanielsshrieked,“Someonecouldgetkilled!”

Hewasn’tonCNN.Withouttheacousticsofamarblechamber,withoutabankofmicrophonesandamplifiers,hisvoicesoundedfrailandshrillintheopen-airdarkness.

Severaloftheroughneckslookedfromhimtosomethingnearby.Hefollowedtheirpointedglance.

There,neatlystackedalongoneedgeoftheabyss,werebagsofsomething.Piledasneatlyasbricks,whitecanvasbagsformedawallalmostastallasthemen.Danielssquintedtoreadthelabelsprintedonthebags.Intheflickeringlightofscorchinggrease,andthroughthedensesmokeofburningflesh,thelabelswerealmostillegible.

AsacarpassedalongFirstAvenue,itsheadlightssweptthescene.Foraninstant,theywereallilluminated:thesenator,thebeerdrinkers,theirraggedhole,andthebaggedsuppliesstagedbesideit.

Inthatmoment,thesenatorcouldreadthelabels.

Quicklime,thewordssaid.

Aninexplicablefrissonofterrorprickedthehaironthebackofhisneck.Ittookallofhislean,gym-trainedmuscles,allofhisself-disciplinetoturnawayfromthesceneandbeginrunning.Puttingdistancebetweenhimandthemobwitheverystride,Danielsboiledwithconfusionandrage.Tomorrow,hesworetohimself,he’dmakeafewtelephonecalls.

Tomorrowheadswouldroll,damnit,andthatdirty,dangerousholewouldbefilled!

HistelephonewokeGregoryPiperbeforedawn.Accordingtothescreenitwashisagentcalling,butPiperknewbetter.He’dpickup,anditwouldbeayoungvoice,entry-levelyoung,anassistanttellinghim,“HoldforacallfromMr.Leventhal,please.”Aloudclickwouldindicatehe’dbeenputonhold,towaitwhilehisagentfinishedanothercall.Ortwo.Piperknewwherehestoodinthepeckingorder.

Helookedatthebedsideclock.Five-thirty,PacificStandardTime.Itwasn’tevenbanker’shoursinNewYork.Overthephoneavoiceasked,“Gregory?”

Pipersatuprightinbed,stunnedtohearhisagent.Itwasdarkoutside.Hecouldhardlyhearthefreeway.

Thevoicecontinued,“Haveyouseenthetelevision?”

Usinghisfreehand,Piperdugamongthesheetsandblanketsfortheremotecontrol.“Whichchannel?”

Hisagentsnapped,“Anyofthem.”Headded,“Allofthem!”

Piperfoundtheremoteandswitchedonthetelevisionnearthefootofthebed.Fillingthescreenwashimself,wearinghisblueSavileRowsingle-breastedsuit.Lookingdirectlyintothecamera,hesaid,“ThisisTalbottReynolds...”

Piperswitchedchannels,andtherehewasoncemore,saying,“...absolutemonarch...”

Pipertriedanewchannel,andhewasthereagain,saying,“...appointedbytheCouncilofTribes.”

Overthephone,hisagentdemanded,“Didyousignanything?”Withoutwaitingforananswer,hesaid,“We’restillwaitingonthosecontracts.”

Betweeneverytelevisedglimpseofhimself,Piperfoundnosports,nomusicvideos,noadvertisements.Onafourthtelevisionstation,hewassaying,“Eldiadeajustamientoestasobrenosotros.”

Heconsideredtheenvelopeofcashandifacceptingithadimpliedacontractualagreement.Itwasstupid,buthehadn’tmentionedthemoneytoanyone.Ifhecouldavoidthetaxobligationhewould.Onanewtelevisionchannelhewasproclaiming,“Beforecreatinganythingoflastingvalue...”

Thatwashisimprovisedline.Nowthebeer-swilling,cruller-munchingproductioncrew,they’dhave

togivehimawritingcreditontheproject.

Anotherchannelshowedhimsaying,“...wemustfirstcreateourselves.”

Theclock-radioonhisbedsidetablewentoff,butinsteadofamorningtrafficreport,itwashisvoicesaying,“...wemustfirstcreateourselves.”

Overthephone,hisagentstormed.“We’vealreadyissuedaceaseanddesist!”

Thedoorbellchimed.

Ontelevision,dignifiedandhandsome,deliveringhisbestRonaldReagantingedwithhisbestJFK,Piperdeclared,“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”

Thephoneheldbetweenhishunchedshoulderandhisear,Piperrosefromthebedandfoundhisbathrobe.Thedoorbellchimed,again,ashetiedthebelt.

Thetelevisionrepeated,“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”Toanyoneexcepthimthiswouldlooklikearepetitionofthelasttake,butPiperheardtheslightvariationinhowhestressedeachword.

Inhisear,hisagentswore,“It’sontheradioandallovertheweb!”Overthephone’stinyspeakercamethelayersofsound,eachoffsetbyamicrosecond.“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”AnentirechoircomprisedofTalbottReynolds.Thesynchronizedvoicesresonatinglikeachant.

“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”

Pipercrossedhislivingroomandsquintedthroughthepeepholeonhisfrontdoor.

Fromthebedroomtelevision.Overhisphone.Fromneighboringapartments,thewordscame.“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”

Athisdoorstoodthemanwiththecauliflowerearsandnecktattooofaswastika.Piperwrackedhismemoryforaname.Thelow-rentcinematographer.Intothephone,hesaid,“They’rehere.”Itwasdawnwiththelightrisingbehindthevisitor.Edgingtowardmorningrushhour,thenoiseofthe101grewlouder.

Hisagentasked,“Who’shere?”

Thechorusofwordsseemedtofadeandblur.“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”Becomingaudiowallpaper.Anewnormal.Whitenoise,likethefreeway.Roomtone.

Piperopenedthedoor.Hehadthename,“You’reLaManly,right?”

Hisphonedemanded,“Who’sLaManly?”

Fromeverydirection,“Thelistdoesnotexist.”

Theman,LaManly,reachedintohisjacketandproducedapistol.WithoutawordheleveleditatPiper’schest.

Fromaneighbor’swindow,“Thelistdoesnotexist.”

Asmuchastheimpact,thenoiseofthegunshotrockedPiperbackonhisbareheels.Hisbathrobebillowedopen,revealingwhiteundershirt.Grayedchesthair.Hedroppedthephonebutdidn’tcollapse.Notatfirst.

Hisownvoice,richandechoingnowfromhisowntelephone,begantorepeat,“ThefirstcasualtyinanywarisGod.”Echoingfromthetelevisioninthenextroom.Hisfieldofvisionbegantonarrowuntilhewaslookingdownalong,darktunneltowherethegunmanwaswalkingaway,followingthesidewalktoacarparkedatthecurb.Arushingsoundlouderthanthefreewayroaredinhisears.Nearthecarthemanmuttered,“Damn,”andslappedhimselfontheforeheadwiththebuttofhispalm.Withfaststepshehurriedbacktotheapartmentdoorway.Hereachedin,grabbingthedoorknob,andpulledthedoorclosedbehindhim.Theknobrattledasifheweretestingtomakecertainitwaslocked.Outsidethecloseddoor,hisrapidfootstepsfadedintothedistance.Avoice,Piper’svoice,proclaimed:

Mayeachmanstrivetobehated.Nothingturnsamanintoamonsterfasterthantheneedtobeloved.

Thislefttheactoraloneinhislivingroom.Hisownvoice,recorded,duplicated,overdubbed,

immortal,thevoiceofTalbottReynolds,continuedonandon,evenasGregoryPipersanktohiskneesandbledoutontheruginfrontofhisownimageontelevision.

TheSenatemajorityleadertookthefinalvote,anditwasunanimous.AsheannouncedpassageoftheWarResolutionActavoiceshoutedfromthespectator’sgallery.

“Friends,Romans,Countrymen,”amanshouted,“lendmeyourears.”ItwasCharlieinamomentforallthehistorybooksofthenewfuture.Thoseborrowedwords,wordsCharlie’slineagehaddeliberatedover.WordsthatwouldbecomeasfamousasNathanHale’s.

Themajorityleadergaveledforsilence.HecalledfortheCaptainoftheGuardtoremovethedisruptiveyoungman.Theguardtooknoaction.InthegalleryasecondmanstoodandshoulderedaDragunovsniperrifleandtheredpinprickofitslasersightfoundthecenterofthesenator’sforehead.ThetriggermanwasGarretDawson.

Thatsameyear,grousehuntingseasonneveropened.

Nickhadlivedthroughworse.Atfirstheworriedthepolicewereafterhim.Hecaughtawhiffofsmokeandwenttolookoutthewindow.FlamesrolledupthebricksidesofanUrbanOutfittersdowntheblock.Nosirenswailed.Moreworrisome,noonestoodinthestreettowatch.WhatscaredNickmostwasthefactthatnobodywaslooting.

Hedialedemergencybutcouldn’tgetasignal.Notasmuchasarecordedmessage.

He’dspentthelastfewnightshidinginthecoffeeshopwhereShastahadworkedlast.They’dmadethemistakeofgivingherkeysandthealarmcodebeforeeventuallyfiringher.He’descapedhisplacewithnothingbuthisstashandtheclothesonhisback.He’deatenallthechocolate-dippedbiscottiandwasmildlycuriouswhenthemorningmanagerwouldarrivetoevicthim.That’swhenhe’dsmelledthesmoke.Thewindwasdrivingthefireinhisdirection.

Nickfoamedsomemilkandmixedinadozenshotsofespressoandsomevanillasyrupandcalleditbreakfast.Nobodyhadmessedwiththecansofspraywhippedcreamsoheworkedeachnozzletohuffthenitrousoffthetop.Hecheckedtheselldatesonthegrilledchickenciabattas.Hewashedhisfaceatthebathroomsinkandfinger-combedhishair.WhenhelookednextthefirehadjumpedtoBaskin-Robbins.Consideringhowmuchstockhe’deatenandalltheplaceshe’dlefthisfingerprints,hewasn’tunhappytoseetheinfernobearingdown.Justthisteenybitfuckedup,he’dstartedtofeelsafeagain.

Anyway,itwasaroundtimeforthemarijuanadispensariestoopenup.ThatwoulddountilFirstMethodistatlunchtime,theNarcoticsAnonymousmeeting,theprimoplacetoscore.

Thenthefirstvanarrivedatthecurb.Outsidethefrontwindowasecondvanscreechedtoahalt.Thefirstwasheftingasatellitedishandaligningitwiththesky.Afamiliarwomantookherplaceinfrontofacameraandbegantonarratethefirescene.Acircuslikethisshould’vedrawnacrowdofthecurious.Thatwasthescarypart.Noonegatheredtowatch.Nocarsslowedtorubberneck.Therewerenocars,period.Thestreetwasotherwiseempty.

Anothernewscrewarrivedandsetuptobroadcast.Asdidafourth.Awallofnewscastersstationedthemselvesinfrontoftheblaze.

Nick’sassvibrated.Thebackpocketofhisjeans.Hisphone,withacallcomingin.Keepinghiseyesonthefirescene,heputthephonetohisearandasked,“Walter?”Withnoimmediatereply,hetried,“Shasta?”Aman’svoicesaid,“AdjustmentDayisuponus.”Anautomatedrobocall.

ThecallerIDread“Private.”Thevoicerepeated,“AdjustmentDayisupon—,”butNickhungup.Alreadythephonewasvibratingwithacallfromthesameprivatenumber.

Lastonthesceneweretheemergencyresponders.Apolicesquadcar,followedbyasingleenginecompany.Withoutunrollinghosesortappinghydrantsthefirefightersandofficerspositionedthemselvesinaperimeteroutsidethefilming.Camerasswiveledtowatchthem.Nickstudieditallthroughthecoffee-shopwindow.Insomerecessofhisbrainheknewwhatwasabouttooccur.Insteadofwatchingcontentbeingmade,hewaswatchinghistorybeingmade.ThiswasjustlikethatbatshitstorythatWalterhadbeentryingtosellhim.Thatwasit.Morethanever,hehadtofindhisbuddy.Walterwouldexplainwhatwasgoingdown.

BecausejustlikeWalterhadpredicted,thepoliceofficersdrewtheirservicerevolvers.Thefirefightersunbuckledtheirslickersandshoulderedrifles.AndjustasWaltersaiditwouldhappen,thisunlikelyfiringsquadletloosewithaJulyFourthflurryofblasts,asbriefasastringof

firecrackers,fillingtheairwithdriftinggustsofwhitebrimstonesmoke.Andbeforethelastechohaddiedawaytheuniformedmenwerewadingamongthefallenjournalists.

Seizingeachbyafistfulofperfectlycoiffedhair,theyliftedeachhead.Followingclosebehind,amanholdingsomethingbrightwasdraggingaburlapsack.Ateachheadhebroughthisbrighttooldownwithasinglestroke.Aknife,Nickrealized.Andthemanreachedbacktodropsomethingintohisbag.

Anear.Waltersaidthey’dtaketheears.Earssmearedwithpinkmakeupandpowderedwithtalc.Earswithtinytransmittersstillpluggedintothem.

Themanwiththeknifehadaname.Nickknewhimfromsomewhere.No,nothackingoffdeadears,butsomeplaceregular.AndrepeatinginNick’sheadwasamemoryofaman’svoice,thissamemanreciting,“Hi,mynameisClem...”Repeating,“I’mClem,andI’majunkie...”

AdjustmentDayisamisnomer.Alteringhumanhistorytooklittlemorethananhour.

Thepolicestoodaside.Afteryearsofbeingbrandedvillainsbypoliticiansandthemedia,thepoliceturnedablindeyeascitizensluggeddufflebagsintoeverystatehouse,everycourthouse,cityhall,intoeverycollegeadministrationbuilding.Thatmorning,thepoliceknewthecallstoreportfiresandmurderswereonlybait,luresthrownouttodrawthemediaintoanambush.

Everyyearvotersandtaxpayerswerekilledbycriminals.Policemenwerekilledbycriminals.Thisyearcrimewouldseekoutthelawmakers.

Participating,here,inAdjustmentDaywouldexpungeallofBing’sandEsteban’scriminalchargesandwarrants.ItwouldeliminateJamal’sstudentdebt.

Straytargets,ofcourse,hadtobestalkeddownemergencyfireexits,acrossparkinglots,underneathparkedcarswheretheycowered,weeping.Othershidbehindlockedofficedoorsthatrequiredbreakingdownwithfireaxes.Evenwiththesestragglerstheoldregimewouldbeeradicatedbylunchtime.

Thewordsofaformerteachercametomind.Awhileback,aprofessorhadlecturedJamal.ProfessorBrollytalkedaboutthecultureoftheHellenisticGreeks,howtheGreekshadvaluedcomedyaboveallothertheater.Theircomedicplayshadfaroutnumberedtheirtragediesbecausetheybelievedthatallhumanendeavorslookedtrivialandlaughabletothegodswhowatchedfromonhigh.Thegodsfoundmankindendlesslyfunny.

ButwhenChristianculturesupplantedtheGreeks,theChristiansdestroyedmostofthecomedies.StoriesoftragedyreinforcedtheChristianviewpointsothechurchpreservedOedipustheKingandMedeaandPrometheusBoundanderadicatedallthatdidnotcelebratethechurch’sidealsofsufferingandmartyrdom.

FortheancientGreekstheabsurdwasclosertotheprofoundthanthetragicwas.ThisoccupiedhismindasJamallookeddownlikethegodsofOlympus.

Belowtherailingofthespectator’sgallery,thesquealing,teemingcarnivalofthewoundedandtheblindedstatesmen,thiscircusofwailing,flailing,richandpowerful,thesegore-choked,gaspingclownswerethepinnacleofhumanfolly.Hilariously,theyhunchedforwardandtriedtogatherarmfulsoftheirownburst,stinkingintestines.Theirpalehandsheldtogetherthebrainsspillingfromshatteredskulls.Thesewerethesamepencil-pushingbureaucratswho’dvotedmomentsbeforetosendhimandallofhisfriendstobesimilarlyresolved.

AsJamalpickedofftargetaftertarget,hiseverymuzzleflashanotheroldman,athoughtflashed.Theprofessor,Dr.Brolly,inAnthropologyhadexplainedatheoryaboutpratfallhumor.Thegagswhereinsomeonetripsandfallssuddenly.Thosebitsofclumsyphysicalcomedy.Accordingtoanthropologistswelaughoutofsomeprehistoricreflex.

Whenprimitivemanwasprey,whenheandhistriberaninterrorfromasaber-toothedtigerorwhatever,themanwhofellwouldbeeaten.Foreveryoneelse,hisdeathwouldoccurasahugerelief.AccordingtoBrollyallhumorarisesfromescapingdeath.

ForyearsJamalhadwalkedinconstantterror.Beforehewasregisteredfor...notthedraft,heandhisfriendscalleditregisteringforthedeath...beforetheideaofanotherworldwarhadeverappearedonthehorizon...he’dknownhe’ddieyoung.Nervegas-rapedinbattle.

Instead,fromtodayonward,hewasthesaber-toothedtiger.

ThepaininBing’striggerfingermeantmoretohimthanthebullet-shatteredoldmenwhocrawledacrossthesmearedmarblefloorbelowhim.Hisrifle’sblastbotheredhimmorethantheirscreams.Therecoiloftheriflebuttagainsthisshoulderhurthimmorethanshot-to-shitpoliticalBrahminswhotriedtoclawpasteachotherforanothermomentoflife.

Heandothermembersofhislineagestoodinthegallery,avantagepointthey’doccupiedandfilmedfromforweeks.Theykneweveryavenueofescapeatargetmighttake.They’dtakenpositionstoshootaroundanyobstacleonthefloorbelow.

Thescreamsmadeiteasy.ThescreamingmadeBinghatethemmore,ifthatwaspossible,theseoldladiesandoldmenwhocouldn’ttellthetruth.Everystatementthey’dmadewashedgedandqualifiedandconditional.Thesescreamsconstitutedthefirsthonestsoundoutoftheirmouthssinceadulthood.

Whatasight:Richoldmenpoundingandpushing,climbingoveroneanothertofindsafety.

Theystampededlikepanickedfatcats.Wrestled,pilingthemselvesagainstlockedexitdoors.Theyhuddledandweptbeneathdesks.Forhelmetstheyopenedthickvolumesoflawandheldthosebookscuppedovertheirheads.IthelpedforBingtoenvisionthemassround-upandcullingofwildanimals.Avideohadcirculatedbetweenmembersofhistribe.Itshowedfootageofdolphinscorralledinnetsandclubbedastheseawateritselffoamedintoabloodyfroth.Thatslippery,squirmingmassofthedeadanddying,itwasharderforBingtowatchthebeautifuldolphinsdiethanitwastoseethesuitedstatesmendie.OntheInternethe’dwatchedwildrabbitsstampededintopens,greatleapingwavesofrabbitsheavinginonedirection,thenanother,asmenwadedamongthemandcrushedtheirskullswithmetalhammers.Binghadwatchedthevideosofkangaroosandbabyseals.Thecullingoflegislatorswasnothingcomparedtotheclubbingoftinybabyharpseals.

Therecoiloftheriflebuttramminghisshoulder,thatpainstokedBing’sangerandmadehimtakeaimateverysignofmovementinthechamberbelow.

Withtheblessingofthepolicetheseskirmishestookplace.Forthepolicehadalreadybeensacrificedforpoliticalcorrectness.Andthemassexterminationoftheyoungwaspreventedbyforfeitingacomparativelytinynumberofthosealreadyneardeath,who’dalreadyraisedtheirchildrenandbeenfeted.

Thecourtroom,theassemblychambersandon-locationnewscasts,thelecturehalls,theystunkofgunsmokeandspilledshit.

Notuntilthesnipersgavethego-aheaddidtheharvestersventureamongthedead.Hereaseeminglydeadbodyscreamedattheknifepointandatargetwasfoundtobeplayingopossum.HereBingwassummonedtocomedownfromthegallery,andthetargetshriekedsocowardlythatitwasapleasuretoseehimdead.

Thingshappenedtoofasttothink.Somethingmoved,andCharliewouldsqueezeoffashot.Transfixed.Hiseyeswatchedformotion.Movementacrosshisretina.Somethingalive.Anymotionseemedtobypasshisbrain,hisconscience,andputhiminatrancestatethesameasplayingvideogames,sameasadogwatchingasquirreloracatwaitingatamousehole,orlikehisownoldmanonariverbankwatchedthesamered-and-whitefishingbobberafloatthereinthewater,waitingforatrouttotakeabite.

Thetrancekepthimfromimaginingwhatwasnodoubthappeningtohismotherandfatheratthissamemoment.

Anythinkinghe’ddoneatimeago.Inthebackofhismind,Charliehadmulledoverhisreasonsfortakingpart.He’dlostfaithinalltheregular,gradualmethodsforself-improvement.Afteralifetimeofpostingonblogsandvideotapinghiseverymoveandemotionforsocialmedia,hewasfacingnothinglessthanidentityfatigue.Therewerenomorefreshstarts.He’destablishedhisbrandsothoroughly.Documentedhimselfforposterity.TherewasnofrontierwheretheInternethadn’talreadytoldtheworldallabouthimsincehe’dfirstlearnedtokeyboard.

AdjustmentDaywouldgivehimafreshstart.Whetheritworkedornot,itwouldbearadicalshift.He’dbedeadorinprisonorarevolutionaryhero,butanyofthosewouldbeanimprovementonthehappy-sad,hopeful-fearfulordinarynobodytheonlineworldcouldwatchgettingolder,gettingtaller,butneveractuallygettinganywhere.

Suppressinghystericallaughter,hepoppedrichmenandwealthyoldwomen,onlypausingtoreload.Charliewentforkillshotstothebackoftheskull.Anentrancewoundatthetopofthespinewiththeexitwoundthroughthescreamingmouth.Lessclean-upthatway.Proteinisamazingshit,heknew,itwasthegluethatstickstoeverything.CutabodyinhalfwithanAKandyourlineagewillstillhavetoscrapeawayallthescraps.

Wellingupfromdeepinsidehimwassomething.Afeeling.Somethingenormous.TheonlywordforitwasGlee.Forthefirsttimeinhislifehedidn’tneedtoworryaboutthedraft.He’dnevergivenhisfuturemuchthoughtbecausethedraftornuclearwarhadalwaysloomedthere.Itwasinevitablethatafterheturnedeighteenhe’ddie.Buthere,forthefirsttimehecouldseeafuture.Fromthispointonhehadsomecontrol.

Allhislifehe’dbeentaughtthatmenwereprotectorsandguards,andthatthemost-nobledestinyhecouldattainwouldbetodieinordertopreserveanotherperson’slife.Ifhumorcomesfromanything,itarisesfromanimmensefeelingofrelief.Charliefeltjoynowbecauseforoncedeathwasoutsidehim.

Thescenebelowhimwasuglyasuglygets.Bloodyasbloodygets.Butitwasn’ttheworstthatcouldhappen.

AccordingtotheTalbottbook,historywouldneverknowitsgreatestmistakebecausenoonewouldbelefttorecordit.Thetaskathandlookedlikeabloodbath,butitmostcertainlypreemptedanuclearwar.Aglobalfamine.Apandemicthatwipedoutbillions.

AllhislifeCharliehadbeentoldthatheandhiskindweretheevilpatriarchaloppressors,thehaterswho’dcolonizedtheglobeandenslavedthegentlesavagesofRousseau’sparadise.Thankyou,academics.Charliecouldwearthat.Theworse-than-Hitlerlabel.Todayhe’dgivepeopletheprooftheywereright.

Itwaslikethosenewsstorieswherethey’dinterviewtheneighborsandlifelongbestfriendsofaserialkiller,andeveryonesworethekillerwasaregular,friendly,nicest-fellah-on-Earth.AfterAdjustmentDaytheworldwouldknowanewtruthaboutCharliegoodguy144.

Hewastiredoflearninghistory.Hewantedtobeit.Charliewantedthehistoryofthefuturetobehim.

SenatorDanielslaystillamonghisdeadcolleagues.He’dburrowedandwormedhisbodybetweentheleadencorpsesuntiltheirbloodsoakedthroughhiscustom-tailoredsuit.He’dbeenamongthefirsttotakecover,andtheslaughteredhadtoppled,staggeringandtumbling,andfallenbesideanduponhim.He’dfeltthetwitchesandlittlekicksasthelifehadgoneoutofbodies.Theirbloodpaintedthehairflattohisheadandgummedhiseyesshut.Bloodstuckhispantstighttotheskinofhisthinlegsandwebbedhisfingers.Hisbreathswerethequick,shallowsniffsofarabbitplayingdead.Helayfacedownatophishandstohidetheirtrembling.

Thegunshotshadstopped.Thescreams,also.Voicesmovedthroughtheroom,men’swordsandthegruntsofexertion.Theweightonhisbackliftedandwasgone.Thebodybesidehimwaspulledaway.Ahandgrippedhimaroundoneupperarm,andDanielsfelthimselfbeingrolledfaceup.Hisbreathingstoppedashelethimselfbedraggedbyonearm,askiddingdistanceacrossthestonefloorslickwithblood.Thehandletgo,andhelethisarmfalllimp,andhecontinuednottobreathe.Helayfrozenwithshockbutsweatingoffhismaskofblood,fearfulshiveringwouldbetrayhim.

Fingertipspinchedhisear,andajaggedagonybitathisheadwherethetopoftheearmethisscalp.Thesenatorscreamed,tearingopenhisstickyeyelidsandhislipspastedtogether.

Thefingershadreleasedtheirgrip.Amanstoodoverhim,asavagewearingcamouflage-patternedbiboverallsandholdingahuntingknife.Alaborerfromthebarbequethenightbefore.Hislatex-glovedhandwassmearedwithred,butnotbarbecuesauce.Hiseyesmetthesenator’sforamoment,greeneyes,widewithsurprise.

Danielswhisper-begged,“Please.”Prayingforpity,forthesavagetomovealongandleavehimamongthedead.Tearssprangtohiseyesandwashedcleanstreaksdownhisface.

Instead,themantwistedhisheadtowardothervoicesandcalled,“Gotaliveone!”

Discovered,Danielsstruggledtositup.Aroundhimsimilarbloodiedsavageslookedupfromwheretheywerewadingamongthedead.Theheapsanddriftsofbodiesandhalf-bodiesandheadlessbodiesanddeskssmashedtoscrapsofwood.Anearbysavageheldsomethingbloodybetweentwofingersbeforetuckingitintohishippocket.Thisothermancalledback,“Puthimwiththe

leftovers.”Andwithhisowndrippinghuntingknife,themanpointedacrossthechamber.

There,aclusterofweepingmensquattedagainstawall.Baldandpot-bellied.Skeletalandstooped.Likehim,theywereoldmendrenchedinotherpeople’sblood.

Athirdsavage,afewstepsaway,wasleaningover,sawingatsomeonewithhisknife.Heliftedsomethingsmallthattrailedathincoilofwire.Thewirestretcheddowntoliftasmallbox.Whenthecoiledwireandtheboxfellawayfromtheman’shand,Danielsrealizedithadbeenahearingaid.Whatthemanheldwasaseveredear,whichhestuffedintohisbackpocket.

ThemanwhostoodoverDanielssmiled.Itwasawicked,lopsidedsmile,butnotwithoutpity.“Yourememberthathole,outside?”Hejerkedhisheadtowardthebloodygroupofsurvivors.“Youguys’job...”Withhisknifehegesturedbroadlyoverthebutchered.“You’regoingtopilethisbigmessintothathole.Gotit?”

Daniels’sfingerscrepttohisear,towherethepainstillburned.Theyfeltthewarmbloodstillstreaming,stillwarm.Notdead.

“Nowgo,”orderedthesmilingsavage.“Getwithyourfriends.”

SenatorDanielsnoddedslowly,beforescramblingtohisfeet.

BackinBeforeTimes...beforethepitswerebeingfilled...drivingbacktoPortland,Oregon,WalterhadtakenturnswithTalbottReynolds,yellingoutagamethey’dinventedtokeepprovinghewasalive.AtthewheelWalterwouldyell,“A-1SteakSauce.”

FrominsidethetrunkTalbottwouldyell,“Formula409.”

Walterwouldyell,“Seven-Up.”

Talbott,he’dyell,“ChanelNumberFive.”

Walter,“WD-40.”

Alullwouldfalloverthecar.OnlythesoundofIdahohadrushedaroundthemlikeatunnel.HerewereallWalter’sdreams,ofromancingShastawithmoney,ofrisingabovetheeconomicmysteriesthatsubmergemostpeople,hisdreamsmightbedeadinthetrunk.Inhisheadhadbeentheideatoturnaroundandhuntdownanalternatementor.Yes,toburythisdeadoneandlocateareplacement.

Thenavoicewouldyellout,“Icould’vehadaV8!”

Joy.Everythingintheworldwouldmakesenseandwouldn’tbejustjumbledchaos.Thedeadwerebroughtbacktous.Jubilant,Walterwouldforgetthiswasarentalandhe’dputamatchtoafatty.

ThiswouldeatupthemilesuntilTalbottReynoldswouldyell,“Enough!”Fromthedepthsofthetrunk,he’dyell,“Ihopeyoulovethetasteoffat,whiteNazidick...!”

Theyweretallied,thedumped-outsacksofears.Theearsdugfrompockets.Blackearsandwhiteears.Earspluggedwithhearingaids.Earsdanglinghoopearrings.Earshairywithageandearsstreakedwithorangetanningspray.

Ineachstatehouse,aGarretDawsonoraJamalSpiceraddressedthesmall,remaininggroupoftrembling,bloodiedleftovers.“Youwillremain,”hereadfromtheapprovedpageoftheTalbottbook,“yousurvivetodothebiddingofthevotinglineagesandconductallnecessarybusiness.”Thoseallowedtosurvivewouldburythedead.“Youneitherproposeorimposeanynewlaws.Youwillserveasmerelyclerks.”Themenreadingtheselinesincourthousesandcollegelecturehallssaid,“Yourtermwillbeforlife,andifyoufailatyourdutiesavoteoftheelectoratecancallforyourexecution.”

TheTalbottbookmadeitsoundsimple.Onlypeoplewho’dharvestedtargetsonthelistwouldgettovote.Thetallyofeachtarget,combined,determinedthenumberofvoteseachlineagewasallotted.Thereasonbeingthatonlypeoplewithvoteshadmadetheirsacrificeforthecause.Thisensuresthatnobodyhijacksthemovement,becausethepeoplewhorackedupthemostnumberswillallywitheachotherandelectoneoftheirown,andbecauseonlythesepeoplewillhavethegumptiontoholdontopowerviathesameactiontheytooktoattainit.

Officially,liberatedassetsaresupposedtogotothenewgovernment,tooffsetthecostofestablishingthecorrectsystem.Andtheygotocompensatedisplacedpersonsforcedtoforfeit

propertyduetorelocationtothecorrectjurisdiction.

“Oncethebodiesareresolved,”readeachmantohiscaptives,“yourfirstitemofgovernmentalbusinessistoinstitutetheHomelandRelocationAct.”

Backbeforethisbookwasabook...ontheridebacktoPortland,Oregon...TalbottReynoldshadbeenlockedinthecar’strunk,alwaysgoing,“You’dbettergetusedtobeingsomepassed-aroundprisonbitchgettingyourshitholesoldforcigarettes!”

Ashe’dtoldit,Talbotthadasurgicallyimplantedtrackingchip.Implantedhe-wouldn’t-say-where,butjustunderhisskin.ItgaveoffaGPSsignalthattheFBIwouldusetofindhim.Oncethecarstopped,itwouldonlyrequireanhourortwoforagentstotriangulatethechip’slocation.

He’dcitedkidnappinglawsgoingbacktotheLindberghbaby.Saying,“You’regoingtolearnallthesubtleflavordifferencesbetweenNazidickandblackdickandMestizo.”

EvenasWalterhadmarchedhimdownthebasementstairsofanabandonedhouse,andhe’dstrappedtheoldmantoaheavychair,sometinydevicehadbeenpingingtheirwhereabouts.Anyminutenowtheoutsidedoorwouldbustopen,andhe’dbebusted,awaitingtrial,convicted,sentencedtoservewithnotanothermomentofShasta.

Gameover,unlesshecouldfindandexcisethishomingdevice.Cutitoutoftheoldman’shide,whereveritwasburied.Justoneflickwitharazorblade,aswipewithrubbingalcohol,alittledigging,anditwouldbeWalter’stocrushundertheheelofhisshoe.Closethewound.Wounds.Deathbyathousandpapercuts.

Withthisinmind,Walterhadroundedupabottleofrubbingalcohol.Arazorblade.BandagesandSuperGlue.Preparingforhistreasurehunt.

He’dslicedtheclothesofftheoldman,lookingforalittlescartoindicatewherethechipwasburied.Cuttingtheseamsandpeelingawaythearmsofthesuit,thecollaroftheshirt,asifhewerepeelinganorange.Startingfromtheextremities,thewristsandankles,andworkinghiswayinward.He’dfindalumpononeforearmandask,“Isthisit?”

Talbotthadtensed,going,“Findout.”

Walterhadswabbedonrubbingalcoholtocleantheskin,thensunkinonecorneroftherazorblade.Hisfingersslippery,sliding,slimywithblood,himwithoutlatexgloves,hisfingernailsrimedwithred,hiseyesoverflowinginsympathy,thisnotbeinganyWalterwhoWalterhadeverplannedtobe:somebodywhotorturesanoldmanstrappedtoachair,razorbladingaholeinonearm,pickingcarefullyaroundthebiggerveinsandtendons.

Thehunthadturnedupacyst.Thesearchhadtogoon.

Walterhadpeeledbackenoughpantlegtodiscoverasmallhardnessintheskincoveringawastedcalfmuscle.He’dlookedupatthewincing,flinching,gigglingTalbottandasked,“Isithere?”

GigglingTalbott,thecrazyoldgeezer,clearlygettingoffonWalter’ssqueamishagony,he’dgone,“You’llbeverypopularinprison.”

ForcingWaltertosloshonmorealcohol.Rubbingtolocatethelittlehardnessundertheskin.Tryingtopinchit,toholditinplaceashesinkstherazorbladenexttoit.Exceptthehardnessslips.Itmigrates,slidingunderthehairyskin,skinnowgreasywithblood.ForcingWalter’srazorbladetochaseafterit,makingalittleincisionlonger,makingitcutsidewaystofollow,finallystrikingpaydirtonlytofishoutanotherfalsealarm.Alumpoffat.

Despitehisnewoldmanspringingleaksallover,ifWalterhitsomespotinacertainwaythebloodwouldspoutlikesomuchketchup-coloredjizz.Withasmelllikemashingitwithsomebabewho’sbeendeadandburiedinthegroundforthepasttenyears.

OldTalbott,alwaysshakingthenwithlaughter,notholdingstill,tearsstreamingdownhischeeksandeverywrinkleinhisfacestretchedtight.He’dsquirmedagainstthebeltsholdinghisarmstothearmsandhislegstothelegsofthechair.Thedeathbyathousandcutswasn’tkilling,butitwasparingaway,flaying,whittlingawaythehumanpartofWaltersothatthenextlikelylumpwaslessefforttoexcavateandtheoneafterthattooknoefforttolance.Theblood,atfirstsoalarming,hadfadedtoonlyanannoyance,andWalter’ssympathyhadsouredtorage.Afterthathe’ddugindiscriminately.Theempathyburnedoutofhim,Walterhaddugtotorturetheoldmanfornottellinghimthechip’slocationfromthestart.Slicinghimtostripsofbaitsotheoldmanwouldtell.Wouldcryuncle.OnlytohaveTalbottkeeplaughing,swearingatWalter’sineptnessasthe

razorbladehadtotrenchandexploreacrosstheman’sscalpanddownhisbackandWalterbegansplashingcoldalcoholoncutsalreadyopenedtorinsethemsohe’dnotcutthemasecondtime,andTalbott’sheadhadhunglimponhisneck,hisfacepaleandhislaughterreducedtoahissing,likesomeonelaughinginhissleep.

Forfortitude,Walthadsurfedpornonhisphone.Hisfavoritevideos,theclipsthatfeaturedonlydeadpeoplefuckingandgivingblowjobs.Alivewhentheywerefilmed,butdeadnow.Thefactthattheycouldstillexcitehimevenfrombeyondthegravewasthemostproofofahumansoulhe’deverfound.Thosecarnalsaints,theirancestralbeautyhadmadeitokaytosliceupsomebodywhoremainedonlyfleshandblood.

Still,Walter’sfingertipshadfoundnochip.Nodiode.Onlylumpsofscartissue.Justclumpsoffatorwarmcystshe’dhadtopinchoutandexaminetobesure.Precancerouscellclusters.Calcifiedforeignobjects.Bitsofgravelortinycubesofsafetyglass,leftoversouvenirsfromacarorabicyclecrashalifetimeago.

WalterhadcarvedawaytheT-shirtandboxershorts,rubbinghiswetfingersinlittlecircles,searchingforthatforeignanythingthatevennowwasrelayinghislocation,thisabandonedhouse,thisbloodycrimescene,himdrippingwithsweat,wincinginsympathyasheswipedtherazorbladeonlytouncoverabolusoffat...anenlargedlymphnode...somethinghardandfirm,oranin-grownhair,thestinkofacarbuncleburstinginhisface,aboilhe’dlancedbyaccident.Hisnewoldmanflinchingtomakethebladegowrong,laughing,hysterical.

Thepolice,tracingtheping,thesilentdistresscall,thepoliceeverypinggettingthatmuchcloser.

AfterAdjustmentDay,thebookwaseverywhere.Tobeseenwithoutacopyoftheblue-blackbookwastoriskbeingreported.Whatcameofthat,noonewassure.

Despiteithavingbrokenhernose,Terrence’smotherhadallowedhimtokeephiscopy.Urineandcolloidalsilverdappledthepages,buthecouldstillreadthenoteshisfatherhadmadeforhim.Amongthemwasalist.Onthefinalblankpage,undertheheading“MyDreamsforYou,”hisfatherhadwritten:

ExcellentHealthandStrength

HighStatus

Wisdom

Courage

BecomingaGreatHealer

Inbed,Terrencecontinuedtobegineachdaybyreading.Today,forinstance,theTalbottbookdecreed:

TheAmericanoftheformerlyunitedstateswasconstantlyheldincheck.

Hisschoolingwascomprisedoftheconstantrepetitionofthesamenarrativemodel.InthemostclassicstoriesofAmericanfiction,theonesmostpromotedbycriticsandtheschoolsystem,the

samefatesbefalleachofthreemaincharacters.Themeekandobedientdestroyshimself.Themostaggressiveandopenlyrebelliousismurdered.Andnooneexcepttheoftenmute,yetalways

watchfulcharacterisleftbehindtorecountthestory.

Asuicide.Amurder.Awitness.

Alwaysthesuicideoccursfirst.Thisisachildlikeinnocent.InOneFlewOvertheCuckoo’sNestit’stheobedientson,BillyBibbit,who’scommittedhimselftoamentalhospitalinordertopleasehismother.Aftersexwithaprostitutehekillshimselfratherthanfacehismother’sdisapproval.

Therebelismurderednext.Inthesamenovel,thebrashIrishman,RandlePatrickMcMurphy,issmotheredinhisbed.Thewitness,theunspeakingBigChief,breaksoutoftheheavilybarredwardandescapesintotheworldtorelatethestory.

Likewise,inTheGreatGatsby,thedesperateMyrtleWilsonthrowsherselfinfrontofacar.FromthefirsttimesheentersthestoryFitzgeralddescribesherasasuicide.Soonafter,thenewmoneyJayGatsbyisshottodeathinhisswimmingpool.Followingthat,thenarrator,NickCarraway—soundslike“carryaway”—escapesbacktotheMidwestanddeliversthestory’s“takeaway”lesson.

Thisisnottheonlymodel,butitistheidealforAmericans,andtheenduringsuccessofanybookisdeterminedbyhowclosethestoryhewstothispattern.

Oftenoutspokenfemalecharactersaren’tkilled;instead,they’rebanishedorshunned.InGonewiththeWind,theobedientMelanieWilkeschoosestodie,attemptingtohaveachildshe’sbeentoldwillkillher,butwantingtopleaseherhusbandwithalargefamily.Inthenextturn,theboldScarlettO’Haraisexcommunicatedfromhercommunityandherfamily,whiletheunderstatedRhettButlertakeshisleaveforCharleston,escapingthescenelikeBigChiefandNickCarraway.ThesamevariationtakesplaceinValleyoftheDollswherethebeautifulJenniferNorthworksconstantlytopleasehermotherbutfinallykillsherselfoutofthefearthatatumorinherbreastwilldestroyherbeauty.Theambitious,outspokenNeelyO’Hara—afictionalcharacterwho’schosenherstagenamefromanearlierfictionalcharacter—issoondiscardedforhershow-businesstransgressions.Andthebookendsontheplacid,etherealAnneWelles,theoutsider,anescapeefromadistantNewEnglandfamilynotunlikeBigChief’stribe,asthemostunscathed.

InTheDeadPoetsSociety,astudentcommitssuicideoutoffearofhisfather’sdisapproval,ateacherisbanishedforbeingunorthodox,andanoutsiderisleftasthewitness.

EvenaseeminglytransgressivenovellikeFightClubtracedthesamepattern.ThemostinventiveaspectofFightClubwashowitcollapsedallthreeofthearchetypes.Bykillinghimself,themartyrmurderstherebelandbydoingsocreatesanintegratedpassive/activevoicethatrecountsthestoryasanewself-awarenarrator.

Overandover,thelessontoAmericansisnottobetoopassiveoraggressive,buttopayattentionandtoavoidnotice.Toescape,tosurviveandtellthetale.

TobelieveTalbott,halfthepopulationoftheformerlyunitedstateswasalwaysforcedtoliveastheslavesoftheotherhalf.Andthisrelationshipshiftedalmosteveryfouryears.Voterswerecompelledtobeslavesortyrants,tyrantsorslaves,dependingonelectionresults.Theirliteraturewascalibratedtokeeppeoplesanedespitethesewildreversalsofpower.

Terrenceclosedthebookandhelditinhislap.Ifmerelytostayalive,that’swhatTerrencewantedtodo:Escapethisformulaaltogether.Andthat’swhyheknewhe’dhavetofindanotheroption.Somethingalifetimeofbooksandmovieshadn’tprimedhimtochoose.

Halfalive,Talbotthadadmittedtohavingnotrackingdevice.Ithadallbeenalie.ItwasatesttoseehowfarWalterwouldgotoachievehisgoals.Howmercilesslyhecouldact.

Sputteringthewords,breathlessandbonepale,ashenlipped,theoldmanhadsaid,“I’msoproudofyou.”

Walter,notthesameWalter.Walterhadturnedintosomeonehedidn’tknow,hewasslickwiththeoldman’sblood.Stifffingered.

Hisnewoldmanhadgasped,“I’mveryproudofyou.”Hiseyelidshadflutteredandhe’dfalteredasifreadytodie,buthe’drallied.FixingWalterwithred-rimmedeyes,he’dsaid,“Listenclosely.”He’dsaid,“ForIamagreedtoteachyouallthesecretsofsuccess.”He’dswallowedhardandcoughedtoclearhisthroat.“Writethisdown,”he’dordered,“Write:‘DeclarationofInterdependence.’”

Andattheoldman’surgingWalterhadrushedawaytofindapenandanotebook.

Shastacheckedthebatteryicononherphoneandpressedtheswitchtoturnitoff.Thebatteryshowedasmostlydead.Sheknewthefeeling.

ShewatchedTalbottReynoldsontelevisionandtriedtofeelreassured.Noteveryonewasterrified.Themanwhodeliveredfirewood,herprofessorswhoweren’tshotdeadandbeingburiedinthepitonthesoccerpracticefields,mostpeopleappearedtobeexuberantaboutthereshapingofsociety.Noneoftheoldsolutionshaddoneanythingbutmakesocialproblemsworse.Peopleseemedwillingtotrysomethingradicallydifferent.

WhattheTalbottbookreferredtowasn’tawhollynewconcept.LeadingpoliticalfigureslikeKeithEllisonhadlongbeforecalledforseparatehomelands.Infact,Talbott’splanmimickedEllison’sbyrequiringSouthernstatestobeunitedasasinglenation,tobeoccupiedexclusivelybypeopleofAfricandescent.TheremainingstateswouldbereservedexclusivelyforcitizensofEuropeanancestry.WiththeexceptionofCalifornia—theSunshineStatewouldbesetasideforaspecial

purpose.

Strangenewscastersappearedontelevisiontoreplacethosewho’dbeentargeted.Theyexplainedhowthenationalcensusandcollegeapplicationsprovidedtheinitialrollsforracialidentification.Tofurtherrefinetheprocess,thedataofInternet-basedgenetictestingservicesweresubpoenaed.TheGeneticInformationNondiscriminationActwas,noduh,suspended.Thepopularityofsuchtestinghadestablishedaready-maderosterforidentifyingthosecitizensineachregionwhowouldneedtoberelocatedandcompensated.

Shastadidn’twanttobecaughtinadragnet.Blindsidedbyaskeletoninhergeneticcloset.Toplayitsafe,she’dfoundawebsitethatstilltookBitcoin,andshe’dsubmittedasalivasampleunderafakename.Theyweretosendherthetestresultsbytextmessage,toamobilephoneshe’dboughtfromaraggedhoboonMartinLutherKingBoulevard.Thestrangerhadaskedforfiftydollarscashanddidn’tofferachargingcord.Fingerprintsofdriedbloodsuggestedaviolentpast,butShastawasquicktoscrubthemoffwithanantibacterialwipeatSafeway.Thebatterywashalfdeadwhenshegotit.

Thewaitingwasworsethanapregnancytest.Shetriedtocalmhernerveswiththereminderthatbothofherparentswerewhite.Bothpairsofhergrandparentswerewhite.Still,thewaitfeltworsethansomeAIDStest.

InthenewworlddecreedbytheDeclarationofInterdependence,agreatmanypeoplewereenduringthesameordeal.Others,interracialcouplesandfamiliesmostly,weremakingabeelinefortheCanadianborderandseekingrefugeestatus.Othershadself-exiledtoEuropeorMexico,buttheTalbottbookdecreeddoingsomeantforfeitingthebulkoftheirpropertyandassets.Itproposedlike-for-likecompensationonlyforcitizenswhowillinglysurrenderedtheirhomesandbusinessesandrelocatedtotheappropriatehomeland.

Ontelevision,TalbottReynoldsassuagedfears,repeatingthatthedeathsquadshadcompletedtheirwork.Thosewho’dliberatedtheformerlyunitedstateswouldoverseetherelocationprocesswithonlytheforceappropriatetoanyresistancetheymet.

Asshecarriedtheswitched-offphone,tryingtosavethebatteryfortheeventualtext,Shastawrestledwiththeideaofimminentracialseparatism.Nogroupwasamonolith.Notevengays.Especiallynotgays.Queeridentitycleavedfasterthanacelldividingintheuterus.Resistingtheurgetopowerupherphone,ShastarecalledthebrilliantwriterZoraNealeHurstonfromBlackHistoryMonth,whosaidAfricanAmericanscomein

Highyellow

Yellow

Highbrown

Vaselinebrown

Sealbrown

Lowbrown

Darkbrown

NottobeoutdonebythecreamoftheHarlemRenaissance,Shastasystematicallybrokedownwhitenesstothefollowingscale:

Ricewhite

Buttermilk

Been-in-prisonpale

Vampire

Peeledpotato

Ecru

Grocerybag

RegularBarbie

Asfarassheknewshewasnomoreethnicthanpeeledpotato.

Therewasnotellinghowmuchtimehadelapsed,butshecouldn’tresistanylonger.Sheswitchedonthephone.Itchimedwithanewtext.

Talbott,ontelevision,overtheradio,decreedtemporarymeasures.Allpublicemployeesmustremainservantsofthepeople.Theymustforgettheirdreamsofearlyretirement.Yes,they’dpostponedtheirdreamsinexchangeforsecurityandthepromisethatonedaytheyoungwouldrelievethem.Butnowtheyounghadseizedcontrolandweregiddywithpower.Boyswho’dneverexpectedtoattaindrinkingage—they’dbeengrantedafuture—andthelastthingtheywantedwastodelivermailorwriteparkingtickets.SoTalbotthadcalledatemporaryhalttoretirementsandsabbaticalsandvacationsinthepublicsector.Strictlyasashort-term,stop-gapmeasure.Forhowlongnoonecouldsay.Exemptwerethepoliceandmilitaryfortheyhadaidedthetribes.

Foraperiodthenationcontinuedtolurchforward,headless.Theagencieswhosepurposeitwastodelivermailandtowriteparkingticketscontinuedtodelivermailandtowriteparkingticketsbecausetheycouldrallynocounterattackandbecausenooneknewwhotheattackershadbeeninthefirstplaceandbecausenoonewantedtodrawthefocusandbecomethenexttarget.

Thethreatofrepercussionspromptedpublicemployeestorethinkanybadmood.Itmotivatedwithlesscarrot,allstick.

Topreemptfurtherviolence,Talbottappearedonbillboards,abeamingimageofhim,withtheslogan:

ASmileIsYourBestBulletproofVest!

Thesameimageandsloganappearedonpostersandbusstopsandinemployeelunchrooms.Peoplerecognizeditwasasmile-or-be-shotedict,butwhatchoicedidtheyhave?

Itbecamenotuncommontoseeclerksinthepostofficegrinningwidelywhilebeadsofsweatblisteredtheirforeheads.Fortheirsoleexitstrategywasviaadirtholefilledwithquicklime.Thuspublicemployeesconstitutedanewserfclass,tiedtotheirtasks.Heldlikechattels.

AspertheTalbottbookpeoplewerekeptconfused,livingonthebrinkofchaosforsolongthatthey’dbegratefultoacceptthetermsofanynewgoverningbody.Thewordgratefulfallsshort.Absenttheconstantthreatofdeath,theyweregleeful,joyouswithrelief.Willingtopledgeallegiancetoanynewordersolongasitkeptthepeace.

Moneywasnolongerpower.Merelyashort-livedtool.

Thedollar,Talbottdeclared,wasdead,andthenewcurrencyhadtoflowdownwardthroughthemembersofeachlineage.Throughthememberstotheirfamiliesandlovedones.Evensothenewcurrencywasshortlived,fadingtoplasticfilminfewerthanahundreddays.Andbecausemoneycouldnotbehoardedithadtobetradedforbreadandwine,andbecausemorebreadandwinewereneededmorepeoplewereemployedinraisingwheatandgrowinggrapes.

Andalwaystherewasthepossibilityofanewlist,thisonedirectedatunpopularbusdriversandmetermaids,andthisspurredterrifiedsmilesandagrovelinghumilityamongcivilservants.Everyoneelsekeptalowprofileandforonceweregladnottobegovernmentworkers.TotheMillennialsoftheyouthbulgethestreetsweeperwasjustasguiltyasthesenatorandjustasreadytoseethenewgenerationmarchedofftowar.JustastheFrenchReignofTerrorhadcommencedbybeheadingroyals,thenexpandedtoseveringtheheadsofclericsandclerksandservants,thedangerexistedthatAdjustmentDaywouldbecomeanannualevent.

Fromwhenitbrokeoverthedistanthorizon,thefigurelookedlikeahaunt.Thinandshimmeringinthedesertheat,wavering,flickeringlikeaflame,itgrewtallerwitheachstepalongthehighway.Itbroughttomindabandonedanimals.Thedogspoorpeopletookouttothecountrysidetodump,hopinghouseholdpetscouldfendforthemselves.Starvedafewdays,thoselapdogsandpedigreedmuttsalwaysresorttoeatingtheshitofotheranimals.Thatshit,lacedwiththeeggsofblackflies,eggsreadytohatchoutworms.Theresultbeingadumpedanimalstarvesallthefaster,eatingmoreshit,hatchingmoremouthstofeed,andfinallyfindingabush,atree,afence,butshadeenoughwhereapooranimalcancollapse,panting,anddie.

That’swhattheghostlyfigurebroughttomind.

GarretDawsonhadonlytoturnhisheadtowatchthestranger’sprogress.Formershopsteward,

princeofCaucasia’smost-powerfullineage,helayonthedustyroadside.Withhistophalfunderhistruck,hishandstwistedabearingcapoffthedrivelineU-joint.Hislegsstretchedacrosstheroad’sgravelshoulder,fullinthehotsunshine,untilhisjeansfeltsteam-ironedtohislegsandhistoesfeltbakedinsidehisboots.

Hepickedtheneedlebearingsfromthecapandcleanedeachinhismouth,spittingawaytheburntgrease.Peekingtoseethestrangercomeanotherstretchcloser.Byfeel,hisfingerspressedthebearingsbackintotheirrace.Thedifferentialinputyokewasalmosttoohottotouch.Histoolboxsethalfintheshade,socketsetsandextensionsjustalongreachaway.

Theradiowasplaying,turnedupsohecouldlisten.Thatman,Talbott,wason.Nomusic.Nobroadcastballgames.TheentiretyoftelevisionandradioplayednothingbutTalbottReynolds.Newrulingpotentate,mostlikelyhelivedinacastle,luckysumbitch,waitedonhandandfootbyteenagevirgins.Thevoicerattledinhistinnydashspeakers:

Paradiseisn’tcreatedbysplendidarchitectureordramaticscenerybutbythequalityofsoulsthatpopulatetheplace.

Thegreatman’svoiceechoedacrossthesandandsagebrush.InthetimesinceDawsonhadfirstheardhisbearingburnout,notonecarhadgonepast.Hisvisitorhecouldseewassomethingwoman-y.Minusherdustyclothes,hefiguredshehadn’tthebootytohideherbackhole.Andwhatthesunhaddonetoherblisteredskin,ithaddonetwiceovertoherscorchedhair.Thewindhadknottedthestrands,andsweathadplastereditflattoherheadwithdust.Talbott’svoicedeclared:

Ifamancanfacerealityattheageoftwenty-five,atsixtyhecandictateit.

Shedidn’tlooklikemuch,butjustincaseDawsonslippedoffhisweddingringandstuffeditinafrontpocketofhisjeans.Herolledaneedlebearinginhismouth,suckingoffthescorchedgrease.Hespatblack.

Tuckeddeepinhispocket,hisfingertipsfeltaslipofsomething.Asheetofpaper.Waddedandsoftwithage,thepaperlistedtheitemshe’dpromisedhiswife,Roxanne,he’dbringhome.Herhandwritingwouldbeillegiblenow,creasedwithwrinklesandwashedwithhissweat,butheknewthelistbyheart:

Coffeefilters

AAbatteries(forkitchenremote)

Avocados(notHass)

Toiletpaper

Peacocktongues

Lifehadn’tslowedany,hereckoned.Exceptnowtheymeasuredtheirpassingdaysinpeacocktongues.

Aheartbeatlatertheabandonedwomanhadstaggeredwithinspittingdistance.She’dcometostandbesidehisrig,histoolboxatherfeet.

Assheedgedwithinhearingoftheradio,thewomanhesitatedasifspookedbythevoice.Theradiopreached:

Whentheyrun,huntthem.Findthestragglerswheretheyshelter.Theshametheyfeelcomesfromsquanderingtheauthoritybuiltupforthembygenerationsoffathers.

ToDawson’smindthereweredifferentdegreesofsunburn.FirstwasRoofer’sTan,fromlayingtarpaperandstaplingshinglesonplywooddeckingangledtoofferamanlikesomuchblisteringsteakforthesuntobroil.Theevendarkershadesincluded:

CastawayinaLifeboatintheOpenOceanLiver-Colored

HawaiianTropicSPF#5BondiBeachUnder-the-Ozone-HoleSuicideRed

BaindeSoleilSaint-TropezOrange

ArnoldSchwarzeneggerRoll-OnPro-TanBronze

DementedTucsonBagLadyBakedBrown

Thisstrangerwasnoneoftheabove.Hersunburnredhadblisteredandpeeledawaytorevealovalsoflily-white.Herswasthefirstsunexposureofacossetedlifetime.

Dawson’slips,hefigured,wereblackwithgrease,butherswherefrostedwhitewithflakesofdriedskin.Herteethlookedstraightandwhiteasamoviestar’s.

ItwascommonknowledgethatmanytargetshadsidesteppedAdjustmentDay.Mostlyacademicshadmanagedtoevadesquadssinceschoolsofhigherlearningkeptnotoriouslyerraticschedules.Wordwasthesefugitiveswereplayingdress-upinragsandtryingtopassthemselvesoffasnormalswhiletheypickedtheirwaytowardtheCanadianborder.Mexicodidn’twantthem,butCanadahadn’tclosedthedoorentirely.WashingtonStateRoute21rollednorthacrossthecalichescablandsofeasternWashingtonState,straighttotheborder,butonlyabornidiotwouldhikeitinhotweather.

IftherewasanythingDawsonknewaboutacademics,itwasthefactthattheyweren’ttoobright.

TheclosesttownbackthatwayswasKahlotus,agoodtwelveclicks.Shesteppedclosertohistoolboxandsquatteddowntoseeunderthetruck.“Heymister,”shedrawled.Hervoicesoundedput-on,pickedupfromrerunsofHeeHaworTheBeverlyHillbillies.“Hitcharide?”

Dawsonrolledtooneside,facingher.Hesnakedthephonefromhisshirtpocketandframedherblisteredface.Ifthestrangerknewaboutfacerecognitionsoftware,shewastootiredtocare.Hesnappedapictureandtextedit.Totesther,heheldouthishand,palmup.“Youwanttoreachmethat7/8thsextra-deepsocketontheoffsetextension?”

Herfadedblueeyeswenttothearrayofchromedtoolsinthebox’stoptray.Hereyestwitchedoverthehexnutdriversandsnapwrenches.

Roxannewould’veknownthecorrecttoolonsight.

Dawsonrolledtheneedlebearingbetweenhislipslikeatoothpick.Toshowhisimpatience,hesnappedhisgrease-stainedfingers.

Couldbeaheartbeatlater,sheslappedsomethinghotmetalintohishand,andwhenhebroughtitintosightitwasaclosed-end5/8thswrench.

Hisphonechimed.Thedatabasehadherpegged.Thisstarvedwretch,crouchedhere,herfeetflappingintornbasketballshoes,herlegsandarmslostinbaggycoverallspatchedwithducttape,thetapecurledupattheedgesandblackwithgrime,hernamewasRamantha.She’dgonemissingfromtheUniversityofOregonwhereshe’dheadedtheSelected-GenderPathwaysDepartment.Butshewasadeadacademicwalking.Asmallarmyofbountyhunterswereclosingin,fast.Thenearestwasonlyalittlewaysback,andhereshe’dwanderedintoDawson’slife.Awindfall.Alreadydoomed.

Hervotetallywasameaslyelevenhundred.Itwasn’tadynasty,buthecouldmakeasmallfortunebyvotingthewayofthehighestbiddereveryelection.Whetherhecouldmurderher,andhow,wasanotherquestion.

Maybeshereadthisinhiseyes.Shesaid,“Isupposeyou’regoingtokillme?”Hervoicehadlostitsyokeltwang.Itsoundedcosmopolitan,cultured.Nowadays,culturedwasbad.Culturedgotyoukilled.

Fromthecabofthetruck,Talbottlecturedatfullvolume:

AdjustmentDayisnotaboutvengeance.Thehunterdoesnothatetheelk.Heholdsgreatrespectforhisprey,butthehunterknowstheanimalmustdieforhisownsurvival.

ItstruckDawsonasashame.Lookingather,destitutelikethis,gritcrustedaroundhercrackednostrilsandcakedinthecornersofhermouth,herneckfesteringwithmosquitobitesandrawscratchmarks,hiddenunderherunwashedstenchandherclaptrappoliticalideologyhecouldtellshehadoncebeenaprettyfine-lookingyounglady.

Shetwistedhernecktolookbackoveroneshoulder.Squinting,hereyessearchedthehorizonforpursuers.Tonooneinparticular,shesaid,“Itwasn’tsomerun-of-the-millpantyraid...”Hoarsewithmisery,hervoicewasbarelyaudible.“Theyhadguns.”Thesquadshadleftheralive,shesaid,andthey’dorderedhertohaulherdeadcoworkerstotheburialpits.“Myentirestaff...”

Notaheartbeatlater,herkneesbuckledandshedroppedfromsquattingtokneelingdefeatedinthesharpgravel.Withherheadbowed,herhairdangledtohideherface.Ahumansacrifice.She’ddugalinoleumknifeoutofhistoolboxandofferedit.“Takeit,”shesaid.“I’mbegging.”Herotherhanddrewthefriedhairbacktouncoverherear.“Cutitoff,buttakemetotheborder,please...”Shekneltthereinthedustasiftootiredtorunanyfarther.Ifhedidn’ttargether,someoneelsewould.

Tortureornot,shewantedhimtoreportherasdead.He’dpocketthevotes,andshe’descapeintoCanada.Whatwasleftofher.Itlookedlikeawin-win.

AgainDawsonsnappedhisfingers,butthistimehepointedatthesockethewanted.Thefirstbountyhunterwasliabletocatchupsoon.“Samantha?”hesaid.

“Ramantha,”shesaid,correctinghim.Shehadthatmuchprideleft.Shesetasidetheknifeandretrievedthesocket.Sheseemedtogetthemessage.

Nobodywasgettingcarvedup,andnobodywasgoinganywhereuntilhecouldgetthisdrivelineattached.

Aregularnotebookhadn’tworked.InaworldbeforeTheList...theworldyouthinkissostable...Walterhadn’tbeenabletowritethatfast.Noonecould’ve,notasfastasTalbottReynoldshadtalked,crazedashe’dbeen.Giddywithbloodlossfromtherazornicksanddiggingsthathadkeptleakingblood,hisheadhadlolled,andhiseyelidshadfluttered,woozywiththeecstasyofhispain.Stillnakedandstrappedtoachairthatstoodinthepuddleofthegreatman’sownsweatandpissandblood,longstringsofspithadloopedfromthecornersofhismouthasheraved.Ajabberingcadaver.Anoracledeliriousonanoverdoseofendorphins.

Anotebookhadn’tworkedsoWalterhadtradeditforalaptopcomputer.HisfingersracingtokeepabreastofTalbott’swords.HowthiswasgoingtomakehisfortunesohecouldproposetoShasta,Walterhadnoidea.

Ashetappedthekeyshisfingertipsleftredfingerprints.Leavingthekeyboardsticky.SpiralsandwhorlsofTalbott’sblood.

Talbottdictated,“Thehomosexualwillalwaysbeanengineofwealthproductionbecausehedoesnotsuffertheexpenseofraisinghisownchildren.”HepausedtowatchWalter.Tobecertainhiswordswerenotwasted.“Thenextgenerationofhomosexuals,”hecontinued,“isalwaysborneandraisedbyheterosexualsbeforeleavingtojoinitsbrethren.Thustheindustryoftheadulthomosexualmayaccumulatewhiletheindustryofheterosexualsissiphonedawayforchildrearingcosts,whichultimatelybenefitthehomosexualcommunity.”

Waltercompletedthepassage,repeatingaloud,“Homosexualcommunity,”toindicatehe’dcaughtup.

“Plusthetimeofthehomosexual,”Talbottlectured,“isnotfritteredawayinchildproductionandmaybeallocatedtoimprovinghisskillsetorsimplylaboringlongerhourswithoutthecostofneglectingafamily...”

Walterkeyboarded,echoingthefinalwordsaloud,“...thehomosexualstatewillalwaysenjoyacost-freeinfluxofnewcitizens.”

Todate,therichmanhadadvisedWaltertopresentapatternandallowothermentofulfillit.Walterwastosetinmotionamachinethatnoonewouldbeabletostop.Amachinethatwouldrunitself.ThatevenWalterwouldnotbeabletostop.

Howthiswouldmakehimrich,Walterhadn’tthefoggiest.Likemostwritershe’dbeentoobusytypingtothink.

“Inordertopreservetheintegrityofmutuallyexclusivehetero-andhomosexualnationstates,”Talbottcontinued,“theheterosexualchildrenborntolesbiansandthehomosexualsborntoheterosexualsmustbeswapped...”

Waltercompletedthesentencealoud,“...inequalnumbers.”

Talbotthadgasped.Hismutilatedtorsohadtwistedagainsthisbonds.“Ifanunequalnumberofpersonsmustbeexchanged...”

Speakingthewordsashetypedthem,Walterhadsaid,“...thenadowryorransomwillbepaidtocompensatetheparentsnotreceivingachild.”

Soithadgone,dayafterday.TheoldmanhadspewedwordsandWalterhadfaithfullycollectedthem.Theonlyothertask,theonlytangibletaskthatTalbotthadorderedhimtocarryout,wastobuildawebsite.WheneverthemanhadsleptWalterhadtinkeredwiththesite,anditwasalmostcomplete.

Aproposofnothing,asifinamomentofdelirium,theoldmanhadfixedWalterwithamanicgrinandshouted,“Asmileisyourbestbulletproofvest!”

Gibberishornot,Walterkeyedthewordsintohisdocument.Trusting,alwaysfaithfulthattheramblingsofthisoldcootweregoingsomewhere.Thathewasn’twastinghislifedocumentingthedyingwordsofalunatic.

Thewebsite,forinstance,theoneTalbotthadtoldhimtobuild,ithardlyseemedlikeahigh-techmoneymaker.

Itstillhadn’tlaunched,notyet.ButWalterhadbuiltitexactlyaccordingtoTalbott’sinstructions,rightdowntothestupidname.Anothingname.Nothingclever.Thisyammering,grimacing,dementedoldmanhaddemandedthesitebecalledsimplyTheList.

Thepostofficeclerkreachedunderhersideofthecounterandretrievedaform.FormNumber346,ApplicationforResettlementinAppropriateHomeland.AsshehandedthepaperacrossthecountertoGavyn,shesmiled,lickingherlips,andsaid,“Funny,butyoudon’tlookblack.”

Gavyntooktheform,saying,“I’mnot.”

Hereyeslingeredoverhishair,suchredhair,hiswidejawline,hisbroadchest,andshesighed.“Whatacryingshame.”

Whatcouldhesay?He’ddonenothingwrong.Hewassimplyfollowingthenewlaw.Gavyntoldherthanksandtooktheformtoacounterunderthewindowswherehecouldfillitout.Peoplestoodinlinewaitingtomailpackages.Peoplewaitedtoexchangesmallamountsoftheiroldmoneyforthenewperishableskinsmoney.

Thefirstlineoftheformaskedforhisname.GavynBakerMcInnes,hewrote.

Hefilledinhisplaceofresidence.Hiscurrenthomeland.Hisparents’names.

Underage,hewroteeighteen.

AtWorkSkills,hehesitated.Hewasanexpertatmanythings,noneofwhichhecouldenteronanyofficialgovernmentform.

UnderHighestLevelofEducationAttained,hewrotethathe’dgraduatedfromhighschoolandgavethedate.Ithadbeenyesterday.

BeforeAdjustmentDay,beforeanytalkofhomelandsandrelocatingpopulationsaccordingly,backinninthgradeGavynhadlearnedathingortwo.Forinstance,heknewthatteachersteachalotofstuff,butonlywhattheywantakidtoknow.Theimportantthings,he’dhadtodiscoveronhisown.

He’dlistenedashisteacher,awomanwho’dneverbeenbeyondNorthAmerica,explainedthewholeofEuropeandAsia.Gavynhadtakennotesasanotherteacher,who’dneverwrittensomuchasashortstory,dissectedFaulkner,Fitzgerald,andDonne.Whenheechoedbacktheirpalemisconceptionstheypraisedhimandpronouncedhimsmart.Smart,yes,smartenoughtoknowhestillunderstoodnothingandthathisteacherswereidiots.Nothingexcepthisownhuntintherealworldwouldevereducatehim.

UnderReasonforRelocation,againhehesitated.

Gavyncravedahappinessthatwouldmakehisparentsvomittowitness.Heyearnedforalovethatwouldcompletelydestroytheirloveforhim.Hislifewasaneither/orproposition.He’dsomedayhavetochoosebetweenhisownhappinessandtheirs.

UnderCriminalRecord,heliedandwrote,“None.”Officiallythatwastrue.Hedidn’twanthisrelocationtobenixedforanyreason.

Hewonderedwhatitfeltliketowipeawaysomeone’slifetomakeroomforyourown.He’dtrainedhimselfnottowantanything.Christmasandbirthdaysweretheworst,occasionsbuiltaroundthewantingofthings.WhenhisparentshadaskedhimtowritehislistforSantaClaus,Gavynhadhadtoconsulthisclassmates.Asifhewereconductingananthropologicalstudy,he’dsurveyboysabout

whatwouldmakethemhappy.LegosetsorNintendo,whatevergotthemostvotes,that’swhathe’dpretendtowant.Unwrappingit,he’dhavetopretendhisdelight.Hecouldn’tallowhimselftoconsiderwhathereallywanted.

Thenextquestionasked:Haveyousoughtprofessionalmentalhealthcounseling?

He’dbegunhissecretlifebyshopliftingclothes.He’dwalkthroughSearsandtryonshirts,walkingoutwearinganewshirtunderneathhisoldshirt.Acoatunderneathhiscoat.AfterSears,he’dhitJCPenneyorNordstrom.Hecouldneverexplainashoppingbagfilledwithleatherjacketstohismother.ThesolutionwastotakehisloottothemallofficeandrelinquishitattheLostandFound,alwaysfillingoutacardwithhisnameandcontactinformation.Afterthreeweeks,whennooneappearedtoclaimtheseitemsnoonehadactuallylost,themallwouldphonetosaytheywerehis.Problemsolved.

Itwastheperfectlaunderingscheme.Butitcouldn’tkeeppacewithhisstealing.Themallstaffandhisparentswouldonlyaccepthimdiscoveringsomanywindfallbagsofdesignershoesandbelts.Everythingalwayshisexactsize.Hewasimmenselyproudofhisskillatsomethinghecouldneversharewithhisparents.

Besides,owningtheclotheswasn’tthepoint.Thejoywasinfindingtheitemandstalkingit.Circlingit.Waitinginalustfultrance.Readytopounce.Intheclutchesofsomeimpulsehecouldn’tcontrol,hebidedhistime.Oftentheshirtwasn’tanythinghe’deverwear.Hemightevenhateit,butagain,theexcitementwasn’taboutowningitforever.

Ifanything,owningtheshirtorthejeansfilledhimwithshame.Theyservedasremindersofhiswerewolfsideandhoweasilyhecouldthrowawayhislaw-abidinglife.Tothatend,Gavynhadbeguntoburntheplunderinthefamily’sbasementfireplace.Onafternoonswhenhisparentswerestillatworkhe’dholdashirtatarm’slengthandplaytheflameofamatchalongtheluridpaisleycloth.Burningtheclotheswasalmostasenjoyableasstealingthem.He’dlayflamingpantsacrosstheandironsandkeepaddingshirtsandsweatersuntilthey,allofthem,werereducedtopowderygrayash.

Hisdownfallhadbeenaleatherbomberjacket.Redleather.Oxblood.Thesatinlininghadburnedashadtheknittedcollarandcuffs,buttheleatheritselfhadgivenoffblack,stinkingsmoke,thesmellofastrandofhairheldinacandleflame.He’dbeenfranticallyfanningthesmolderingpilewhenhismotherhadwalkedintothebasementgameroom.

Hetoldhereverything.Okay,halfofeverything.Thehalfhethoughtheunderstood.Theshopliftingpart.Andsheaskedifhe’dagreetoseeacounselor.

EnterDr.Ashanti.TuesdayafternoonsGavyntookabustothebasementoffice,downtown,partofthecounty’smentalhealthservicesprogram.Paymentwasaccordingtoaslidingscale,butitstillmeanthismotherhadtopickupextrahoursatwork.He’dsitinthewaitingroomwithotherpimplyboyshisownage.Someaccompaniedbyparents,mostnot.

ForonehoureveryTuesday,GavynsatlisteningasDr.Ashantiexplainedthatshopliftingwasapre-sexualimpulse.Textbookwords.Instalkingclothes,Gavynwaspracticingtheskillsofseduction.Followedbyacquisition.Endingindivestitureofthedesiredobject.Itmadesense.

WhatGavynshoulddowiththisimpulsewasanothermatter.

Thereinthebasementoffice,thewallscoveredincorkboardsquares,pushpinsholdingthecornersofpostersshowingsailboatscanteddramaticallyabovecaptionslike“FindtheWindThat’sGoingWhereYouWanttoBe,”Gavyneventuallybroke.Hewasslumpedinabeanbagchair.Thedoctorsatinaswivelchairpulledawayfromhisdesk.

Gavynwaslookingatasandcandleonthedesk.Hecouldn’tlookatanyone’sfacewhenhefinallysaidit.“IthinkI’mgay.”Inawhisper,incasethewaiting-roomkidscouldhear.

Ashanti’sresponsewasinstant.“No,”heshookhishead,“you’renot.”

Stunned,Gavyncouldn’tthinkofarebuttal.Thedenialdidn’tresolveanything.Gavynriskedalookathim.

Thedoctorhadsteepledhisfingertipstogether.“Aftertalkingtoyousoregularly,Icansafelysaythisisaphase.”Heshuthiseyesandsnortedsoftlyasifamused.

Atthesametime,Gavynfeltgratefulandenraged.Theonefearcentraltohisself-identity,itwasbeingflat-outdenied.

Ashantispokewiththecertaintyofafaithhealer.“You’renothomosexual.”

Alltheextrahourshismotherhadworked.Afterallthemoneyshe’dpaidtohelpresolvethiscrisis,thedoctorwasgoingtodenyanyissueexisted.Themoneyandtimewouldbewasted,andGavynwouldbebackatsquareone.

Dr.Ashantiglancedattheclockonhisdesk.Thesessionstillhadtwentyminutesremaining.“Don’tyoufeelbetter?”heasked.Hissmugsmirkandarchedeyebrowseemedmocking.

Gavyndidnotfeelbetter.Whathappenednextwaslesssexthanitwasapoliticalact.Gavynwastakingpartinagameofchicken.Heslowlyrolledhimselfoutofthebeanbagchairandmadehiswayacrossthecarpet.Ashantididn’tstophim.NotevenwhenGavynkneltbetweenhislegsandfoundthemanalreadyerect.Gavynundidthebelt,thetopbutton,andpulleddownthezippercarefully,stealthily,asifhisplanwassimplytostealtheman’spants.

Gavynsmirked.Ashanti’sfacehadgoneslack,hisbreathingshallow.HiseyesmetGavyn’sevenasthehighschoolfreshmansqueezedafistaroundtheerectionthatwaslikeathirdpersonintheroomandslidbacktheforeskintorevealitsleakypurplemushroom.Gavynclosedhismoutharounditanddidn’tflinchwhenthefirstjetofraweggwhite,thathotsyrupofsourcream,salt,andonionshitthebackofhisthroat.Anothersurgesplashedupintohissinusesandbubbledouthisnostril.

Hewasnolongeravirgin,atleastnothisthroat.Thisfeltlesslikeasexualactthanlikesomeonewithabadsinusinfectionhadsneezedinhismouth.

He’dmadethedoctorwrong.Gavynhadprovedhewassmarter.Heatleastknewhimself.Theclockshowedthatelevenminutesremainedinthesession.

Thedoctorpanted,bonelessinhischair.Brownmolesspottedhisscrotuminprofusionandwirygraypubichairexplodedfromaroundthebaseofhislimppenis.Hisuntuckeddressshirtstretchedtocoverhisroundbelly,andfromthislowanglethelooseskinofhisneckwasgatheredintoasinglefoldthatlookedlikeashavedvaginajustabovetheknotofhistie.

Asunappealingasthemanlooked,hewasstillGavyn’sfirst,andGavynknewhewouldalwaysrememberthismoment.Victoryornot,itfeltmoreexcitingthanshoplifting,butonlymarginally.

Intheweekstocome,hismother’sextraworkandmoneywouldbepayingforsomethingdifferent.Tuesdays,Dr.AshantiwouldvehementlydenyGavyn’spreferenceandGavynwouldprovehimwrong.Learningtovarytheexperience,paceit,plotitlikeathrillingmovie,andfinallybringthingstoaclimaxwithinscantsecondsofthesession’sendtime.

OncemoreGavyngrewtobeanexpertataskillhecouldneversharewithhisparents.

WhenhefirstheardaboutTheList,he’dgoneonlineandpostedthenameDr.AnthonyAshanti.Itseemedlikeasafewaytochannelhishate.Everyoneassumedthelistwasajoke.

Whenwithinafewhoursseventeenhundredpeoplehadpostedtheirvotestothename,Gavyn’seyeswereopened.Hebegantograsptheman’spatientloadandthesecrethistoryofhislongcareer.Thewaitingroomoutsidehisofficefilledwithbroodingteenagerssuddenlytookonanewmeaning.Aharem.TherewasnooverestimatingAshanti’sstamina.

Ashanti,apparently,hadputtherapistintherapist.

GavynhadlongstoppedhiscourseoftreatmentbythetimeAdjustmentDayresolvedthedoctor’slife.

Undercounseling,hewrote,“None.”

ThealleyinbackofFirstMethodistwascrowdedwithtweakers.Everyonewaitingforthedoorstounlockandtheregularmeeting.Peopleampedaboutgettingglassed.NickscopedoutatalkykidandaskedifhehadanyVitaminVtosell.

“Shitwasforreal,”marveledthekid,scratchinganddancing.

Everyoneknewsomeonefromrecoverywho’dbeenagunman.

“Dudetriedtorecruitme,”anothersworemorosely.“WishI’dlistened.I’dberich.”

Nickcountered,“IjustneedsomeVitaminH.”

Thekidcountered,“Yougotthenewmoney?”

Nickknewwhathemeant;but,no,hedidn’thaveany.

Thechurchdoorsdidn’tunlock.

Peoplewerehungry.Drinkingwaterwasgettingscarce.Thesocialorderwasinchaoswithnogasoline,andelectricitybrowningout,peoplerobbingpeopleoftheirfood,andwhispersofpeopleeatingcatsanddogs,andevenpeopleeatingpeople.ButNickknewthemagicbullettomakeallthisape-shitdisastermovieagonyinstantlyA-Okaywasafatbaggieofhydrocodone.Givenayear’ssupplyofVicodinheneedn’tsweatfindingfoodoraplacetoshit.Hecouldrideoutthemisery.

Thetalkykid,himandallthetweakers,weredispersing.Afewobviouslyheadedforthenextmeeting,toseeifthey’dopenthedoorsatEcumenicalMinistries.Walkinghiswaywasaguywithadog,ablackguyholdingadogbyaleashwithonehandandcarryingabigblue-blackbookinhisother.Whitefurcoveredthedogexceptablackspotaroundoneeye,apitmixsortofdog.Fromtalkingdistancetheguysaid,“Nick.”

Nickasked,“Youholding?”

Theguyshookhisheadandsmiled.“Forgetthatshit.”HisnamewasJamal,aregularatthismeetinguntilhe’ddroppedoutacouplemonthsback.Everyonethoughthewasdead,butherehewas.Jamalreachedintoonebackpocketandbroughtoutahandfulofsomething.Likeplayingcards.Likeaweirdlycoloreddeckofcards.Heofferedthestack,saying,“Takethese,Igotplenty.Butyouneedtospendthemwithinacoupleofweeks,okay?”

Thecardswereslippery,thinsheetsofstiffplastic.Eachshowedthefaceofaman,likesomebody’sdadontelevision,ahandsomefacelikeanactorwouldhaveonatelevisioncommercialsellinggoldcoins.Nickacceptedthecardsandfannedthemtocounthowmany.Theywerethenewmoneyhe’dheardabout.Nobodyhadany,notunlesstheyworkedforoneofthevigilantes.Droppingtooneknee,hestashedthecardsinthetopofhissock.Somehestuffedinhispockets.Plentyofhungrypeoplearoundthesedays,itdidn’tpaytotakechances.

Jamalnoddedatthedog.“BouncerandIareboardingaplaneinafewdays,headedforanewlife.”HemeantinBlacktopia,thenationpartitionedexclusivelyforanyonewithapreponderanceofsub-SaharanDNA.Hesaid,“It’sbeenaninterestingexperiment,butit’sover.”

Hewasreferringtoblackpeopleandwhitepeoplelivingtogether,thewholeunitedstatesthing,Nickfigured.

Jamalasked,“Inschool,youeverreadthatGrapesofWrathbook?”Heshookhisheadindisgust.“Thosepeoplerunningallover.Sayingtheyneedtostrikebacktofixthesystem.Buttheyneverdoanything,justdigditchesforanickelandgivebirthtodeadbabies.”Hespatontheground.“Thatbook’sbullshit.”

Nickkeptonehandtuckedinhispocket,touchinghiswindfall.“Yeah,wereadit.”

Jamalasked,“Whatdoyousupposewasthesenseofreadingaboutthoseuselesspeople?”Heturnedtoaddressthedog,asking,“Youeverwonderwhatthatbookwasreallyteachingus?”ToNickheofferedtheblue-blackbookinhishand.“Talbottsaysit’sokaytokillyourselfwithdrugs.Buthesaysthere’snogreaterhightobegottenthankillingyouroppressors.”Abigdiamondglintedinoneofhisearlobes.

Nickasked,“DidyoukillBrolly?”

Jamalasked,“YoueverhearofthePeabodyPlantation?”Heturnedandspoketothedog.“Weownit.Don’twe,Bouncer?Oneentirevalleyofforestsandfarmland,andanimpressiveGreekRevivalmansionsetdowninthecenterofit.”

Nickguessedthiswasinsomeformerstate,whatusedtobeGeorgiaorNorthCarolina.“Youhavepeopleusedtobeslavesthere?”Hedidn’tmeananythingharsh.Suchanowherehousejustseemedlikeanoddchoiceforaone-timedruggie.ItwastoughtoimagineJamalasafarmer.

Jamalduginhispocketandofferedupanotherhandfulofthemoneycards.“Takeit.Ican’tspenditbeforeitallexpires.”Heofferedthebookandthenewmoneyinthesamehandlikeapackagedeal.“It’sthelaw.You’llgetarrestedfornotcarryingthisbook.”

Nicktookthemboth.Herewassomebody,oneamongthemanyhe’dneverseeagain.

“Comeon,dog,”Jamalsaid.Hetuggedtheleashandthepitfollowed.Thetwowalkedaway.

Cashinhand,Nicksprintedinheart-racing,sweatystridesintheoppositedirection.ToscoreamountainofOxyorhydroandgetsofluffedthestateoftheworldwouldn’tmatter.Tocatchthetalkykidbeforehesoldhisstashtosomeoneelse.

ToJamal,AdjustmentDaywasdoingtheoppositeofthatGrapesofWrathbook.Thebookpeoplehadtoreadforseventh-gradeEnglish.Wherewhitepeoplearebulliedofftheirfarm.Atractorrunsovertheirhouse,andtheydonothing.Aloanofficerorsomesuchcomesandtellsthemtomoveon,andthisfamilydoesnothing.Yeah,theytalkaboutgettinggunsandstormingthebanktokillthebankers,buttheyneverdoit.

InsteadthiswhitefamilyhaulsasstoCaliforniawheretheygetdumpedonbythepoliceandworkedtodeathforsmallchange.Buttheystilldonothing.Theykeeptalkingaboutoneday.Talkingabouttakinguparmsinsomerevolutionagainsttherichman,andallalongtheydonothingexceptlettheiroldfolksdieandgetburiedinunmarkedgraves.Theylettheirkidsstarve.ForhundredsofpagesJamalkeptreading,expectingtherevolution,andintheendit’sjustadeadbabydumpedintoacreekandsomeolddyingoldmangettingtosuckonsomeyounggirl’stitty.Theauthor,JohnSteinbeck,hadbeenapussy,tooafraidtomakeanythinghappen.He’dabandonedhischaracterstosuffer.

AshadGod.

Onlyawhitemanhadtheinflatedself-worthtowritethatbook,andonlyawhitemanwouldhavethesecretpridetoreadit.

It’sonlythewhitemanwhoclingstohisguilt.GuiltforAdam’sfall.GuiltforChrist’ssacrificeandforblackAfricanslavery.ItwascleartoJamalthatforwhitestheirguiltconstitutedauniquelywhiteformofboasting.Theirbreastbeatingwasahumblebragalwayssaying:Wedidthis!WethwartedGodintheGarden!Wekilledhisson!Wewhitepeoplewilldowithotherracesandnaturalresourcesasweseefit!

Showingoffdisguisedasameaculpa.

Forthewhiteman,hisguiltwashisbiggestbadgeofaccomplishment.Onlywhiteskilledtheplanetwithglobalwarmingsoonlywhitescouldsaveit.Theirboastingneverletup.

Itwasthewhiteracket:Creatingproblemssotheycouldrescueeverybody.

AndwhileschoolforcedkidstoreadthatpatheticGrapesbook...kidsvolunteeredtoreadTheFountainheadbyAynRand.KidsyearnedtobeHowardRoarkonthewitnessstand.Schoolsdespisedthefactthatgeniusonlytouchesafewmen.Geniusesrecognizetheschoolteachers’mediocrecampaigntoteachmediocritytothemediocre.Andkidsrejecttheideaoflifelongsufferingandfailure.

InTheFountainhead,somebodydoeswhatSteinbeckonlytalksabout.That’swhykidsloveRand’sbook.

HowJamalsawAdjustmentDay,itamountedtothehappyendingthatGrapesbookfailedtodeliver.

Andtoday,Jamalandthreeofhiscohortsreturnedtothestatehouse,victorious.

That’snottosayJamaldidn’tfeelconflicted.

Peopleaskwhatitfeltlike.AdjustmentDay,thatis.Hetoldthemthatwhathe’ddonefeltlike

walkingintotheworld’sskuzziestbusstation.Likewalkingintoastinkingworldofvomit-coatedconcretefloorsandface-downwinos.LikewadingthroughthisstinktofindtheMen’sRoom,ashitholeofdrippingpipesandbacked-updrains.Sidesteppingthepuddlestogettoatoilet,thensittingbare-assedonthestill-warm,gooeytoiletseat,breathingairthat’snothingbutaccumulatedfarts.Andthenlookingdownandspottingsomethingonthefloor.

Likelookingover,andtherenexttothefilth-streakedtoiletbowl,stucktothecrap-dappled,sperm-sprinkledconcretefloor,there’sanalmost-pristine-looking800milligramOxycontin.

Tohelp,youtellyourselfit’smedicine.Andbyitsverynaturemedicinekillsgerms.Somewheresomedoctorhadprescribedit.Ascientistinalaboratoryhadmadeit,evenifit’sspottedwithoversprayfromabunchofdiseasedbusstationperverts.

Allthatneedsdoingistobendoverandprythatpilloffthefloor.Onlythatone,quick,nastyjob.Justpopthatpillinyourmouthandswallowitandeverythingwillbeallright.Betterthanallright,everythingwillbeperfect.Likeaperfectionyoucan’tevenimagine.

That’showAdjustmentDayoccurredforJamalinretrospect.Andherehewasreturningtothesceneofhis...notcrime,buttriumph.Inthestatehouse,thejanitorshadscrubbedawaythebloodbecausetheycouldimaginenootheroption.Somewherethewidowswept,butthedeadwerenotJamal’sdead.Thewidowscountedasnothing,notcomparedtothewidowsandmotherswho’dbewailingifthewarhadbeendeclaredandhisentiregenerationhadbeenshippedtosomebureaucrat-organized,offshoremassexecution.

Amanrepresentinghislineagestoodatthefrontofthegreatroom.Everyonecarriedacopyoftheblue-blackbook,andeveryonesmiled.Itwasn’tthelaw,butholdingacopyofthebook,everywherepublic,allthetime,wasmotivatedbysomethingmorefrighteningthanthelaw.

Thebulletholesinthepaintingscouldn’tbehelped.Norcouldthedivotswherericochetshadbouncedoffthemarblecolumnsandpanels.Detailsthatfuturetouristswouldmarveloverandphotograph.Thefewremainingsenatorsscurriedaroundtheplace,doingeveryone’sbidding.Thoseoldmenlookedgaunt,eatenawayonacellularlevel.Onemanhadascarnotchedatthetopofhisear.Heapproached,bowingandscraping,andplacedadossieronJamal’sdesk,thenbackedaway,stillbowing.

Themanatthelecternleanedintoamicrophoneandannounced,“Ourfirstorderofbusiness...”Thewarmthoftelevisioncamerasbathedthem.

Asdirected,JamalstoodandheldtheTalbottbookopeninbothhandsandbegantoreadaloud,“ActOne,ArticleOneoftheDeclarationofInterdependence...”

Ahushfellovertheroomashecontinued.Jamalriskedaglanceupwardandsearchedamongthefacesinthespectators’balcony.Timestretchedintoforever.Thesilencewaited.Hesearchedamongthefacesforaparticularwoman.Thewaiting,watchingfaces.Andthere,standingwherehe’dstoodonAdjustmentDay,therethewomanstoodsohighabovehim.

OnlythendidJamalreturntothebookandresumereading,“Allpersonscompelledtosurrenderrealpropertyandtorelocatetoanappropriatehomelandmustbecompensatedwithanamountofpropertyequaltoorgreaterthanthatrelinquished...”

Hersmilebeameddownuponhim.Hereyessoproud,therestoodhismother.

Peoplehadseenthenewmoneyontelevision:slightlystiff-feelingslipsofplastic,toorigidtofold.Thecolors:vividcombinationsofred-and-blueoryellow-and-violet.Officially,theordercalledthemTalbotts,buteveryoneknewthemasskins.Rumorwasthefirstbatcheswererefinedfrom,somehowcraftedfromthestretchedandbleachedskintakenfromtargetedpersons.Peopleseemedtotakeahystericaljoyfromtheidea.

Insteadofbeingbackedbygoldorthefullfaithofgovernmentorsomesuch,thismoneywasbackedbydeath.Thesuggestionwasalwaysthatfailuretoacceptthenewcurrencyandhonoritsfacevaluemightresultintherejecterbeingtargeted.Neverwasthisstated,notovertly,butthemessagewasalwaysontelevisionandbillboards:PleaseReportAnyoneFailingtoHonortheTalbott.Thebillsheldtheirfacevalueforaslongasaseason,butfadedfasterinstronglightandfastestinsunlight.Afadedbillheldlessvalueasthemarkersalongtheedgesbecameillegible.Butevenwhentheskinhadfadedtoaslipofwhite-ish,slightlyopaqueplastic,notunlikeableachedanddriedrectangleofparchmentorlambskin,fuelingtherumorseachwasasouvenirscalpedfromatelevisionnewscasterorcollegeprofessor,evenwhentheskinswereanonymouswhite-ishcards,theystillheldaslightvalue.Thesefadedblanks—mostreferredtothemasblanks—couldstillbe

returnedtothegovernmentforasmallrefund.Childrencollectedthemfromtrashbins,orthehomelessgatheredthemfromthegutterlikealuminumcansandglassbottlesforrecycling.Ahundredblankswereworthafive-Talbottnote,thustheyweretheequivalentofanold-ordernickel.Incentivesufficienttokeepchildrenrecoveringthem.

Thelineagesthatforsolonghadsunkthemselves,deeperanddeeper,manbyman,liketaprootsintosociety,they’dcometoformlongchainsthatpermeatedacrossallsocialgroups.Nowthesechannelsofmenwereusedtosuffusethenewsocietywithitscurrency.

Themanabovehim,GarretDawson,gaveCharlieacardboardboxcontainingonehundredthousandTalbottsandtoldhimtospendwhathecouldandpassthebalancetothemanbelowhimalongwiththesameorders.Charlieboughtanecktieandplannedtokeeptherestofthemoney,butthenextdayGarretcametohimwithanotherbox,andathirdonthethirdday.AllalongtheTalbottswerefadinginfinitesimally,andCharliewasforcedbygoodsensetobeginpassingthemalongtothenextmanwhospentwhathecouldandpassedthebalancetothenext.Inthiswaythemoneyfloweddownthelengthofeachlineage,makingthosemenwealthybeyondtheirdreamsandmakingthepeoplewhoknewthemwealthyandthepeoplewhoknewthosepeoplerichandthosewhoknewthoserichpeoplebecamewelloff,andinthiswaytheneweconomybegantofloatandstabilizeitself.

Thenewmoneycascadeddown.Itbucketedfrommantoman.

Becausethemoneycouldnotbehoardedmanytriedtotradeitforgoldanddiamonds,butthosewhoheldthegoldanddiamondsrefusedtosell,andthusgoldanddiamondsfelloutofcirculationandlostallvalue.Theybecamelikemasterpiecepaintings,itemstradedamongtherichassignsofstatus,buttheymeantnothingtothemajorityofpeople.Asthelargestfortunesoftheoldtimeslosttheirwealth,becausetheycouldnotusemoneytomakemoney,andknewnootherwaytosurvive,theirpossessionscametothemarket.

Oh,andthewomen.TheyleftCharliebreathless,thewomenwhomigratedtohimindroves,youngwomen,olderwomenpresentingtheirdaughters,womenwhounderstoodthevalueoftheirbeautyandvitalityinthismarket.TothemCharlie,skinnyCharlie,ridiculousCharliewho’dhardlyfinishedhighschoolandcouldonlyoperateadrillpress,thesewomenwho’donlyeversnubbedhim—thatis,ifthey’devenrealizedhewasalive—thesedaystheyfoughtamongthemselvesmerelytocatchhiseye.

MondaysandTuesdaysCharliesatinachairattheheadofatablelitteredwithphotographs.Thetablehadbelongedtoamedievalking,andthechairtoaRenaissancecountorwhatnot,thenamesofneitherCharliecouldremember.Notthatitmattered.Nowthetableandchairandthesuitsofarmorclutchinglancesthatlinedthehallwaysandtheflagsthatflutteredatoptheturrets,theybelongedtoCharlie.Afireblazed,continuallyreplenishedwithlogscarriedinbymenonCharlie’spayroll.Whileothermenfannedhimwithpeacockfeathers,andotherspresentedbraisedpeacocktonguesandpeeledgrapes,neitherofwhichCharliecouldbringhimselftoeat,andevenwiththeexpensesinvolvedintheupkeepofsuchahouseholdCharliecouldnotspendthenewmoneyasfastasthelineagerequired.Mostofitpassedontothenextmanandthemenbeyondhim.

MondaysandTuesdaysanagentinhisemploybroughtaselectionofwomenwho’dbeenchosen,handpickedfromthethrongswho’dsubmitteddetailedapplications.Womenwithmovie-starfacesandporn-moviebodies,theysatintheouterroomsandassessedoneanother,andtheagentescortedeach,womanbywoman,tothereceivinghallwhereCharliemoreorlessheldcourt.

MostCharliedismissedwithaglanceandapolite“Thankyou.”Somehe’dinvitetocomecloser.Ofthewomensomebroughtbusinesspropositions.Somewantedtobeappointedtoapositioninthenewgovernment.Whateverthecase,Charlieconsideredthemallwiththesameintent.

Withinaseasontheoldordersubsided.Thenewlineagesbecametheknightscrowned,dukesandlordswhoheldtheirrewardsbyasinglesuccessfulbattle,andthosewhowerefamilytothembenefited,andthosewholearnedtobeofservicetothosefreshnoblefamilies,housedinancientestatesrecentlyacquired,thosewhoservedthembest,withlabor,withfood,withentertainment,theywerethenextmostprosperous.Andlastly,thepersonswhocouldoffernoskillexcepttheirprowessatmanipulatingtheoldcurrency,restrictingitsflowanddollingitoutforfees,thatclassofpersonswiththeiroutdatedfieldofexpertise,theywerelefttowanderinthestreetseekingouttheblanksthattheycarriedbythedirtypapersack-load,likeonceearshadbeencarried,tothecountingstations.

Regardlessofhowtheskinsarriveatthecountinghouses,theretheyarecleaned,fittedunderastencil,andre-exposedtotheultravioletlight.Revitalizedforanotherthreemonths,theseTalbottsreentercirculationatthetopofthelineagechains.

Peopleacceptedthenewcurrencywithallitsflawsbecausetherewasnootheroption.Asstatedintheblue-blackbook:

Firstmakeyourselfdespicable,thenindispensable.

Thereplacementeconomywaslikeaballoonbeingfilledwithwaterfromaspigot.Asmoremoneypouredintoit,theballoonswelledandhungheavier,butuntilitwasfillednoonecouldsayhowlargeitwouldgroworwhatshapeitwouldultimatelyassume.

IfanyoneaskedMissJosephinePeabody,thelostpoliticianswereshow-offs,showboatingsnake-oilfakirswhosesummaryexecutionstheyhadcoming.GoodriddanceandGodbless.Restinpeace.No,thenaturalorder,ifonefollowedtheclassicmodelsofbeautyandgovernance,heldthatpropertyownersaloneshoulddeterminewhatwasbestforpeople,foronlytheownershadthepropervestedinterest.PlantersinparticularintheagrariantraditionofJefferson,withoutthecorruptinginfluenceoftheJewandtoalesserextenttheCatholicinterests.

Ifanyoneasked,thatis,butnoonehad.No,ittookArabellacomingupfromthekitchenonemorningtosuggestMissJosephineturnontheidiotboxonaccountofthesamemanappearingoneverychannel.Aloathsomehabit,watchingtelevisionbeforesupper,butArabellainsisted,standingbyMissJosephine’schairwhilethismanannounced:

Ahouseisnotahomeland.Thiscallsforthepartitioningoftheformerlyunitedstatesinordertoprovideseparate,distinctautonomousnationswhereineachpeoplecanconducttheirlives.Itiswrongforoneculturetoimposeitselfuponanothereitherbyactionsorexpectations.Therefore

eachmustexistfreeofthedemandsplacedonitbytheother.

MissJosephinepointedtheremotecontrollikeascepter,tobanishtheman,buthisimageandpontificatingpersisted:

Eachgroupmustinhabitahomelandwherethatgroupconstitutesthenorm.Otherwiseeitherself-destroying,self-hatred,orother-attackingself-aggrandizingoccurs.Drinking,drugs,andtoxicsexualbehaviorsarisewhenculturesarecompelledtosharepublicspace.Nocultureshouldbe

heldtotheexpectationsandsubjectedtothewitheringgazeofanother.

Arabellaworeherapronandtwistedadishtowelbetweenherhands.Sheasked,“What’sitmean?”Itdidn’tsignify,MissJosephineassuredherandsentherbacktoshellingpeas.Arabelladidn’tappearconvinced,andlefttheroomslowasmolasses,walkingbackwardsoshecouldkeephereyesonthescreen.Therethemanwasspeechifying:

Justasthegendersareseparatedinmostathleticcompetitionssoshouldtheculturesberemovedeachfromtheotherssothatoneculturemightnotalwaysdominate.

TheunhappyresultofwhichbeingthatArabella’sman,Lewis,feltithisdutytoshowhimselfintohersittingroomdoorwaywhereheapproachednocloserthanthethresholdandtriedtoclaimthatGeorgiawasnolongerastateoftheseUnitedStates,buthadbeengivenoveralongwithFlorida,Louisiana,Mississippi,andAlabamatocreatesomesortofMartinLutherKingdomdesignatedtobeinhabitedbyonlyblacks,andatthisMissJosephinewheeledherselftothedoorandshutitinhisface.

Despitetheevidenceofhereyesandears,thePeabodyPlantationremainedherpropertyandherhome.Andbeforeherclanownedit,thelandhadbelongedtotheMuscogeeCreekandYamacrawtribes.Nogerrymanderingtomfoolerywouldchangematters.

Hereshehadstature.Ifsheallowedherselftobeuprootedandcartednorthwardoroutwest,why,she’dbereducedtonothingmorethanagardenvarietyoldlady,aspinsterinpossessionofthirty-sixfullplacesettingsofCrownDarby.

Sometreesweretoooldandparticulartotoleratetransplanting.LestArabellaandtheothersforget,MissJosephinewasthesouloftheplantation.Noonebutherknewtheidiosyncrasiesofthewellpumporhowtodrainthecistern.Onlysheknewtherotationofsorghumversustobacco.Why,withoutherexpertisetheoilburnerandthefurnacefanwouldburndownthehousewithinayear’stime.Justletthem,Arabellaandherman,Lewis,andtheirboys,ChesterandLewisJr.,andtheirgirl,littleLuray,letthemsee.Letthemtryandruntheplacewithouthersay-so.

Suchknowledgewaspartandparcelherprovinceandhersalone.Tothateffecttheyagreeditonlyfittingshetakeupresidenceintheatticofthemainhouse,anarrowsuiteofdustyrooms,hardlyspacesufficienttocontainthefamilytreasuressheinsistedfollowherintohiding.Thetureensandswords,theoilpaintingsofDaddyandhispeople.Buttheatticwouldsufficeonlyuntilsuchtime

thatthismoment’spoliticalmadnessshouldcometoacessation.Atthatpointshewouldbereinstatedasmistresswithfullreign.

Mornings,whenArabellabroughtuphertray,MissJosephineasked,“DidyoucallaroundtotheIvesandtheCaldwellslikeIasked?”

Arabellaleftthetrayandwenttomakingthebed.“Icalled,”shesaid,“butwasn’tnobodyleft.Theyrelocated.”

IfArabellawastobebelievedanymore,everyfamilyofEuropeandescenthaddecampedGeorgia.

Whenitcametostubborn,MissJosephinecouldteachamuleathingortwo.She,herself,wouldnotbesoeasilydislodged.

Lestanyonegetotherideas,shecreptoutnights.Oncethehouseholdwasabed,shetiptoedherwaydowntheatticstairs,tracingthebackstairstothekitchen.Nightsshemightmakeitherforaytoloosenthepressurescrewonthepropaneline,adefectonlysheknewhowtorepair.Othernightsshe’dbleedairintothewatermainuntilthepumplostitsprime.Thismischiefamountedtonotsomuchsabotageasmerelygentleremindersthathermindwasthemindofthehomeplace.Theanchoriteandsoulofthehouse.Shealonecouldperformthesecretritualstorestartthereverseosmosisfilters;otherwisethehousewaterwasundrinkable.

RegardlessoftheMartinLutherKingdomthesepeoplewantedtoimposeonGeorgia,theplantationremainedamoney-makingconcern,andshewaskeytokeepingitprofitable.

Alwaysontelevisionandtheradiowasthatman.Talbottwhoever,preaching:

Alloweachcultureitsowncourtsoflaw.Alloweachtoevolveinisolation.Fortoolongthedifferingstrainsofmankindhavebeenblendedintoanincreasinglyblanderpool.Acultureofsharedmediocritythatonlyservesasabroaderfieldofconsumersreceptivetothesamegeneric

advertisingandthussteeredtodesiringlargeamountsofanarrowspectrumofproducts.Culturesdevelopedovermillenniainrelativeisolation,inclimatesandconditionsthatpromptedeachtocreateitsownimageryandrituals,allofthesearebeingdisplacedbytheglobalstandard.To

preservetheintegrityofeach,theculturesmustbeallottedlivingspaceawayfromtheinfluenceofothercultures.

Eggedonbysomemisguidedefforttobehelpful,Arabella’smantrompeduptheatticstairsoneafternoontofetchherabook.Lewisoffereditinbothhands,saying,“Here’sthewaythingsare.”Whenshewouldn’tacceptthegift,heplaceditonthetablebesideherchair,andhetookhisleave.

Itamountedtoalargeblue-blackvolumesupposedlypennedbythatmanTalbott.Thetelevisionman.Ahodgepodgeofhalf-bakedobservationsconcerningtheobvious,itwas.Pageafterpageof,forexample:

In-groupcrimesmayonlybedealtwithwithinthesamegroup.Gaysdecimatetheirownkindinhugenumberswithdisease.Blacksannihilateblacksinviolentcrimes.WhiteswouldappeartobelessadangertofellowwhitesuntilweconsiderWorldWarII,WorldWarI,theAmericanCivilWar,theOneHundredYearsWar,etc.Therefore,thecrimesofeachgroupmustbejudgedonlyby

memberswithinthatgroup.

Toalearnedpersonagesuchasherself,thiswasclearlytheworkoftheJew,theJewinleaguewiththePapist,bothpartiesattemptingtoagitatethepreexistingnegrosituationanddispossesstheregion’sScots-Irishoftheirancientbirthright.Thelandhadbeenawildernessuntilthearrivalofherancestors,anditwouldreverttothesamewithoutthem.LetArabellaandherpeopletryandruntheplacewithouther.Nonebutshecouldcomprehendwhycertainsumpsandhollowsheldwaterwholesummerswhileotherswentdry.

Thatnight,shetiptoeddowntothecellarandloosenedthelidoneveryotherjarofpreservessothecontentswouldspoil.

Themorningthatfollowed,Arabellabroughtupthebreakfasttrayandsetitonthedrinkstableinfrontofthesettee.SheshookoutthefoldednapkinandspreaditoverMissJosephine’slap,saying,“Thenewlawsaysyou’llberightlycompensated...”Arabellapouredthecoffeeandmoveditwithinreach.Sheadded,“It’snothealthy,youaloneinthisatticdayandnight.”

MissJosephinewouldnotbudge.Itwentwithoutsayingthatshouldshedepartonfootorinabox,thelandwouldwither,thankyouverymuch.

Arabellasurveyedherwithsoulfuleyes.She’dbeenbornandbredontheplace.Nodoubtshe

lookedtotakeoverasthenewmistress.MissJosephinedismissedherwithacurt,“Thankyou,thatwillbeall.”Alone,shecouldn’tbringherselftoeat.Athoughthauntedher:WhatifArabellaandherpeoplesoughttopoisonher?Whowouldknow?Nottheneighbors.Theoldfamilieshadrelocated.Topoisonherandburyher...worse,feedherbodytothehogs.Thatwouldbetheperfectdemise.

Buthowtodefendherself?Howcouldsheproveherselfsonecessarythatfolkswouldcontinuetofeedandlookafterher?

Thenextday,Arabellabroughtherbreakfasttrayandtookthewarmingcoverofftheeggs.Pouringthecoffeeshesaid,“Youshouldbegladit’snotthehomosexualsgettingthisplace.”AsArabellaexplainedit,thestateofCaliforniahadbeensetasidetocreateahomelandformaleandfemalesodomites.Arabellasighedandwincedattheveryidea.

Thesordiddetailsofthis,MissJosephinehadnodesiretoknow.ButArabellapersisted,saying,“Folksshouldresideamongtheirownkind...that’stheidea.”Shewatchedasifwaitingforareaction.Acornerofhermouthtwitched.“MissJosephine,you’vegottoappreciatethatandmoveforwardwithyourlife.”

Hidinghermalice,MissJosephinegavethewomanabrightsmile.“Thatwillbeall,Arabella.”

Soonasshewasalone,justasshehadthedayprior,shecuttheeggs,friedhamsteak,andtoastintobite-sizedpieces.Followingthatshecarriedtheplateintothetinyatticbathroomandflushedthemealdownthecommode.

Bynightfallshewasravenous.Herwheelchairhadalwaysbeenmoreofaconveniencethananecessity,andaftermidnightshecreptdowntothekitchenandfilledashoppingbagwithasmuchcannedtunafish—awfulstuff—cannedmilk,andSaltinesasshecouldcarrybackupstairs.

IfArabellaevertooknoteofthemissingitemsshenevermentionedit.Everymorningshebroughtupthetray,andeveryafternoonshebroughtupsupper.EverybiteofwhichMissJosephineputdownthecommode.

Historybookswerefilledwithsimilarstoriesoftheright-mindedwhowentintohidinguntilthestormoftyrannyhadpassed.Thoseindividualstrappedbyevilideologies.Why,thenationofIsraelhadpracticallybeenfoundedonthediaryofone,asweetpersecutedgirlwho’dsoughtrefugeinjustsuchanatticapartment!

Lord,no,MissJosephinewouldnotberunoff.HerswasstillthenationofThomasJeffersonandherdaddy,Godresthissoul,andtheirsweretheChristianidealsforhertouphold.Why,ifyouaskedherdaddyithadn’tbeenuntilthe1890sandthefloodofimmigrantsfromtheBalticregionthatconditionshaddestabilized.In1890thenationhadfewerthanahalfmillionJews.By1920ithadmillions.

Nights,ifitwasraining,she’dventureouttospreadrocksaltinthegarden.Orshe’dsitinthedarkandeatherpurloinedtunafish.Readingtheblue-blackbook.Thelastbookshe’dreadinitsentiretyhadbeenToKillaMockingbird,andthathadbeenmistakeenoughforher,thankyou.WhowasthisMr.Talbotttogoagainsther?Noamountofpoliticalvoodooorcivil-rightsmumbojumbowouldpersuadeher.

Days,Lewiswouldtrompupthestairstocomplain.He’dfrethowthecellarstunkandwasfulloffliesandthesepticpumphadquitonhim.ThegardenhadwiltedanddiedalmostovernightsonoweverythingneededtobeboughtatthePigglyWiggly.Heshowedhersomethinglikeplayingcards.Plasticcardscoloredredandyellow.

“It’sthenewmoney,”hetoldher,“butitdon’tlast.”Hedescribedhowfolkshadtoworkallthetimebecausethemoneycouldn’tbesaved.“Anymoneyweearnweneedtospendbeforeitdisappears.”

Ifthecoastwasclear,MissJosephinewouldaccompanyhimdownstairsandoutbacktothebarn.There,she’daskhimtofetchthisorthattooltoberidofhimwhileshereplacedawidgetshe’dstolenfromthethresherorthetractorsomenightsbefore.He’dmarvelasshebroughteachpieceofmachinerybacktolife.

OnenightshesatreadingtheTalbottbook.Havingflushedherdinnerofporksidemeatandwildrice.EatingSaltinesanddrinkingtapwater,shecameacrosstheline:

Abountyshouldbepaidforinformationregardinganypersonlivingoutsidehisappropriatehomeland.

Notwaitingtoreadanotherword,shesnuckdownanddisabledthekitchenstove.Shejimmiedthe

gateonthehenhouse.

MorningbroughtArabellawiththebreakfasttrayandthenewsthattheyhadnoeggsonaccountofraccoonshavingkilledeverylasthen.Therewasnobaconoroatmealbecausethestovehadquitonthem.Whatshebroughtinsteadwastoastwithpeanutbutter.MissJosephineputthis,too,downthecommode.

Thenextnightshedecommissionedthetoaster.

Shetookthesheet-metalbackofftheclotheswasherandstoleoutagadget.

Shedisabledthetelevisionandthekitchenradio,hobbledthedishwasher.

Alwayspreyinguponher,eatingatherwasthefearthatArabellaandLewismightbetrayherforrewardmoney.Sheneededtobemorevaluabletothemthananybounty,morevaluablealivethanpoisoned.

AtArabella’srequestsheventuredforththenextdaytotinkerwiththestove.Shesentthewomantosearchforascrewdriverwhileshereattachedthewireshe’dloosenedinthetoaster.

“Iseeyoufixedit,”Arabellasaid,notsmilingwiththeusualrelief,herarmsfoldedacrossherchest.Withtheday’splagueoftroublesbanished,thewomangaveMissJosephinealengthyhalf-eyedstare.Shesetthescrewdriveronthekitchentableandsaid,“Funnyain’tit,howthingsjustbust.”Herstarenotlettingup,shesaid,“IfIdidn’tknowbetter,I’dthinkwehadagremlin.”

MissJosephinepooh-poohedtheidea.ShelaughedthatArabellaandherpeopleblamedeverythingonhaunts.

Arabelladidn’tsharethelaugh.“Youailing?”sheasked,somethinginhervoice,notahelpfulconcernbutaprying.

MissJosephinemadeasifshehadn’theard.

“Ionlyask,”thehouseservantsaid,“becausetheotherdayIheardyourtoilet,must’veflushedfifteen,twentytimesinarow.”

Hearingthat,Josephineresolvednottoflushinthedaytime.Shecouldholdtheday’sfood,setitasideinhersewingbasket,andflushitlateatnightafterArabellaandhermanLewishadretiredtotheirownlittlehouse.Shelaughedandpickedupthescrewdriveroffthetableandbegantototteroff.

BehindherArabellaasked,“Whereyouheaded?”

Notbotheringtohideherannoyance,MissJosephineanswered,“Tofixthewasher.”Shegaspedasiftosuckthewordsback.Hermouthfrozeopen.

Atfirst,Arabellasaidnothing.Hernot-talkingfilledupthekitchen.Withelaborateslowness,inlow-slungtonessheasked,“Thewasher’sbroke?”Abig,broadvictoryhunginhervoice.

MissJosephineturnedtofaceher.Shelaughedtoshakeoffthemood,saying,“Isn’tit?”

Arabellasaid,“Searchme.”Shesuckedherteethandcockedherheadasiftostudytheoldwomanfromafreshangle.

MissJosephinefelthercheeksburn.Shelethereyesdriftandshookherheadasifstymiedbytheyoungerwoman’sforgetfulness.Thestolengadgethungheavyinthepocketofherhousecoat.Thescrewdriverdroppedfromherhandandclatteredonthelinoleumfloor.

Nick,Nickwassmart,notbooksmartperse,buthisparents’houseusedtogettaggedbygraffitipunks.NosoonerthanNick’sdadhadthelatesttagpaintedoverorscrubbedaway,butanotherlate-nightvandalwouldthrowupsomenewmasterpiece.Insteadofinstallingacameraandtryingtogetthecitytopayattentiontotheproblem,Nickactuallysolvedit.

Onenight,betweentaggers,hewentoutwithhisowncanofspraypaint.Alldowntwosidesofthehousehewroteswastikasastallashecouldreach.Hesprayedthewords“KillQueers”and“NiggersSuck.”Thewholejobtooklessthanacanofpaint.NotthatNickwasaNazi,hejusthadaplan.

Hewenttobed.Hedidn’ttellhisfatherormother.

Thenextmorningtheirdoorbellrang.Atelevisioncrewwasoutside.Thestreetwascrowdedwithpeopletakingpictures.Hisparentswereconfusedandangry,buthecouldtelltheydidn’tmindthesympathy.Afterbeingignoredforsolong,dealingwiththegraffitialone,theyweregladthattheproblemnowbelongedtotheentirecity.ThemayorofPortlandcalledapressconferencetocondemnhatespeech,andextrapolicepatrolswereadded.Notaggerpunkswoulddaretouchtheirhouseinthefutureandriskbeingaccusedofthishatemess.Themedialaudedhisparentsasbrave,long-sufferingheroes.AndNicknevertoldthem.

That’sthekindofsmartNickwas.

Afterthehouseholdwasabed,MissJosephinesoundlesslydescendedtheatticstairs.Sheneedednolight.Everysqueakyfloorboardwasanoldfriend.Noshadowheldanysurpriseforhertostumbleover.Fifty-sevenstepsleddowntothenarrowkitchendoor.Sheheldonepalmflatagainstit,pushingsoftlysothelatchwouldnotclackasherotherhandturnedtheknob.

Thedoorwouldn’tbudge.Theknobturned,butsomethingkeptherfrompushingitopen.Shebracedthesatinshoulderofherdressinggownagainstthewoodandplantedherbarefeetamitewider.MissJosephineboreintothedoorwithallofherweightuntiltheoldwoodbarkedoutacrackingsound.Itwaslocked.Thehingepins,locatedontheoutside.

Voiceswhisperedinthebreathingofthekitchenairconditioner.Shefanciedshecouldhearthemeasuredheartbeatoftheclockinthefronthallway,butshewouldn’tswearthatwhatsheactuallyheardwasn’therlifelongmemoryofhearingthatclock.Inthedarksheheardpeopletalkingwho’dbeendeadsinceshewasagirl.

Sheloweredherselfcarefullyuntilshesatontheloweststep,huggedherkneestoherchest,andlistenedforanything,andwhenthefirstbirdssignaledthesunrisesheretracedherfootstepsbacktobed.

BackinBeforeTimes,Walterhadclosedhiseyestoseebetterwithhisfingertips.Hisfingershadtappedandstabbedatthekeysofhislaptop.HisfingershaddancedoutthewordsasTalbottspokethem.

AbountywouldbepaidforphotographicevidenceofanyoneinpublicnotcarryingacopyoftheTalbottbook.

TalbotthaddictatedandWalterhadwritten:

Abountywouldbepaidforproofofanyindividualfakingadisability.

Theoldmanhaddecreed:

Abountywouldbepaidforinformationregardinganypersonlivingoutsidehisappropriatehomeland.

ThewebsiteWalterhadlaunchedatTalbott’sinstructionwasalreadyprovingtobeasuccess.America’sLeastWanted.Peoplewereloggingonandregisteringthenamesofpoliticians,academics,andjournalists.Hundredsofnames.Theregisterednameswererackingupvotes.Millionsofvotes.Howthiswouldmakehimrich,Waltercouldn’tbegintoguess.Hewasanapprenticewhocouldn’tyetseethebigpicture.Hesimplytooknotesashisnewoldmanrambledon.

AccordingtoTalbottReynoldsthenationneededanaristocracy.ThekingsofEuropeandAsiahadn’tbeenvotedintopower.They’dspilledblood,andwhoeverspilledthemostbloodgainedthemostpower.TheQueenofEnglandandthekingsofSwedenandSpainstoodatopamountainofbutcheredmen.Strappedtohischair,shellackedinafewdropsofbloodleakedfromeachofadoublehundredsmallincisions,heranted,“Whywaittableswhenahailofbulletswillbeyourcoronation?”

Democracywasashort-livedaberration.He’dinsistedthatAmericaneededarulingclassofmenwho’dseizepowerthewaymenhadalwaysseizedpower.Menwhotakeactionwillbecomethisnewroyalty.Learningatradewasfine.Collegewasn’tforeveryman.Butthirtyyearsintoframinghousesorwiringbuildingsandwhatwillbecomeofyourbody?Onceaman’skneesorhisbackage,howwillheearnhislivelihood?AdjustmentDaywasaboutmenjoiningforces.

Walterhadlookedupfromhistyping.“SothisislikeFightClub?”

Hisnewoldmanhadshakenhishead.He’dasked,“Areyoureferringtothenovel?”

“Whatnovel?”hadaskedWalter.Hisfingerspoisedabovethekeyboard.

Talbotthadsmirked.“Hardly.”He’dsaid,“FightClubwasaboutempoweringeachmanthroughaseriesofexercises.”Hisghastlyfaceshinedwithitscoatingofblood.“FightClubtaughteachmanthathehadcapacitybeyondhisgreatestconceptofhimself.Then,itseteachmanfreetofulfillhisdestiny:tobuildahouse,towriteabook,topaintaself-portrait.”

Waltercouldrecallthatmuchfromthefilm.

Shakinghisheaddismissively,Talbottmuttered,“Palahniuk.Allofhisworkisaboutcastration.Castrationorabortion.”

AdjustmentDay,Talbotthadexplained,wastobeamodelforhowmencouldformanarmyinordertoattainpermanenthighstatus.Itwoulddraftthemtotakeactionbeforesocietydraftedthem.Thesemenwouldkillontheirownbehalf,fortheirownbenefit,ratherthanforthebenefitofthosewhoalreadyheldpowerandassets.

“Whatmenwant,”he’dsaid,“isastructureforcommunion.”

AsTalbotthadseenit,ademographicexplosionofyoungmenwerebecomingmen,menwithgoodeducations,healthyandwellfed,who’dbeenraisedtoexpectagloriousfutureforthemselves.Nosuchfutureawaitedthem.Thedemocracyofcapitalismguaranteedthatonlythemostbanalmen,themenwiththemostmoderateintellectandmostreadilyappealinglooksandtalents,wouldrisetonotoriety.Andthesewouldonlybeahandfulfromamongthemillions.

Walterhadwaited,uncertainifthismeritedwritingdown.“Whathappenstotherestofus?”

Talbotthadsmiledandsighed.Hiseyesblink-blinkedanddriftedtoconsidertheblood-fleckedcementfloor.“Whathappensiswhatalwayshappens.”

Goingon,he’dclaimedthatthegovernmenthadalwaysknownPearlHarborwouldbeattackedbytheJapanese.He’dinsistedthegovernmenthadknownallalongabouttheimpendingdestructionoftheWorldTradeCenter.Thebattleshipssunkhadbeenpracticallyobsolete.TheTwinTowerswereanecessaryexpenditure.Inbothcases,whatthenationhadreallyneededwasawartoculltheimpendinggenerationofyoungmenreachingadulthood.Suchawarwouldcutdownthelaborpoolandensureasizablewagetothesurvivors.Itwouldthrowthesurplusmenofmanycountriesintocombatandstimulateeconomiestheworldover.

“Mostimportantly,”Talbotthadsaid,“theconflictwouldcreateashortageofmenandpreservethepatriarchy.”

Walterhadn’twantedtobuythattheory.He’dhesitatedtocontradicthismentor,butthepoliceandthemilitarywouldstompoutthesortofgrassrootsinsurrectionTalbotthaddescribed.

“Oncethepolicehadbeensufficientlyhumiliatedandblamedforcrime...,”Talbotthadreplied.“Oncethemilitaryrealizesit’sbeingledtoslaughter...”BothwouldlooktheotherwaywhenAdjustmentDaycametopass.Membersofbothmightevenjointheattack,especiallyifitguaranteedthattheirdescendantswouldholdpowerforgenerationstocome.

Amanmighthesitatetokillifitmeantonlyhisownbenefit,butifhisactionwouldcrownhissonsand,inturn,theirsonsandtheirsonsasroyaltyinanewsociety,thatmanwhohadnooptionbuttocommitmurderinsomeoneelse’swar,thatmanwouldgladlycreateameritocracybasedonmurder.

AtthisTalbotthadfallensilent.HisgazehadcometorestonthecomputerinWalter’slap.Itwasclearthediscussionhadbeenoverforthetimebeingwhenhe’dpronounced:

Withtheexceptionofmembersofthepoliceandmilitary,allretirementfrompublicserviceissuspendeduntilfurthernotice.

Andinfullfaith,stillnotcomprehendingwhereanyofthiswasheaded,Walterhaddutifullytypedoutthewords.AsTalbottsawthesituationtheclerksandbureaucratsoftheworldhadtradedtheirunstableyouthforsecurityandroutine,andnowthatwouldbeallthey’deverhave.ItwastoolateforthemtokiteofftoTuscanyanddabbleatbeingspainters.Itwastoolateforthemtobeanyonebutthemselves.

Mid-lecture,Talbottasked,“HaveyoureadFlaubert’sBouvardandPécuchet?”Inthenoveltwoclerksinheritafortuneandleavetheirjobstodabbleinartandliterature,eventuallyrealizingthattheyhavenotalentforleisure.Intheendtheyreturntotheirboring,steady,structuredlivesas

clerks.TheBabyBoomerswouldhavetoacceptasimilarfate.Underanewregimethey’dberequiredtoworkandsupporttheMillennialgenerationuntilawhollynewsystemwasputinplace.

Jamalwandered,awestruck,throughtheroomsofhisnewhome.Hispitbull,Bouncer,lopedafewstepsahead,sniffingbehindachair,pawingatacabinetdoor,asiftoflushoutwhateveranimalsmightbehidingthere.Eachroomopenedintoalargerroom,thewallslinedwithpicturesofwhitepeople,linedwithfireplacesandshelvespackedtightwithbooks.Brightsunlightlitupbig,cleanwindowsandwhitepaint.He’drequisitionedthehousefromalonglistofsurrenderedproperties.PhotographspostedontheInternet.Todaymarkedthefirsttimeinhislifehewasn’tlivingunderhismama’sroof.

Thepaintingslookingdown,they’dbeenalineageoftheoldworld.Thestuck-upfacesofhighandmightydeadfolks.Thepaintingscouldgo.Thebookshe’dkeep.WithAdjustmentDaypast,whatJamaltrulywantedtodowaswrite,tobeanauthorwhoputaworldofsymbolsandimagesintopeople’smindswithhiscareful,steadystreamofwords.ThewayTalbotthaddone.AsTalbotthadphrasedit:

Nomanisanadultwhilehisparentsarealive.Untiltheydieheismerelyaperformancetoeitherpleaseorpunishthem.

Fortoolongthewhiteshaveactedasthefinger-waggingparentsofblacks.

Forevenlongerheterosexualshaveactedastheshamingparentsofhomosexuals.

ToJamalitseemedhe’dalwaysbeenexpectedtobackdown,toforeverdefer,stepaside.He’dalwaysplayedthesubmissivegoodguybecausetheonlyotherrolewastobeathug.Everythinghe’ddonewasmeanttokeeppeoplehappy.Killingpeoplewasn’tidealbutitwasthefirsttimehewasn’ttryingtomakethemalllovehim.Itmostlyfeltstrange—strangenotbad—becausehewasn’ttryingtopleasethesepeople.Itfeltnicetojustshootthemandnotworryaboutwhetherornotitmadethemhappy.ThatreliefmadeJamalhappy.

Oppositionseemedunlikely.Thedowntroddenhadalwaysturnedtochurch,andtheirnumbershadswelleduntilaleaderappearedtoorganizetheirpower.Thistime,history’sdisplaced,thedisenfranchisedhadlongagolaughedofftheideaofGod.Theirchurcheshadbeencollegesandgovernmentoffices,andthesedaystheirpreacherswereburiedinmassgraves.Thenewpeasantrymighthaveadvanceddegreesandawardsgalore,buttheyhadnochurchestoharborandcomfortthem.

Smartermenmightexist.Strongermen.ButJamalwastheonewhopulledthetriggersotheywouldworkforhim.

Whoevertheownersofthishousehadbeen,they’dlongsincerelocatedtotheappropriatehomeland.Traveledlight,fromthelookofit.They’dleftbehindtheirfurniture,eventheclothesandshoesintheclosets.Notthatitmattered.Fromtodayonthiswouldbehishouse,hisland,hisfarm.Jamal’smotherwasinstalledinahouseintown,nicerthananywhereshe’deverlivedbutnotnearasniceashisplace.Threefloors,fromthelookofit,withGreektemplecolumnsoutfront,theonlywordthatseemedfittingwasgrand.Justashe’dalwaysimagineditwouldbe.Heopeneddoorstofindonlymorerooms,moredoorsandstaircases.Behindonedoorhefoundthekitchen.Awomanhismama’sagestoodatthestove.Sheworeanold-timeuniform,justagraydresswithawhiteaprontiedoverit.Herhairwasnettedtighttoherhead.

“Pardonme,”hesaid.Thiscouldbeamix-up.Shewasblack,too.Couldbethewebsitehadallocatedthepropertytotwopartiesbymistake.Hisstatusinalineagegavehimhigherrank,ofcourse,buthedidn’trelishtheideaofputtingsomebodyoutofahouseshe’dcometothinkofashome.

“Iliveontheplace,”sheoffered.Thesoundofboiling.“Meandmyfamilylookafterthings.”

BouncernosedhiswaypastJamalandmoseyedovertopresshismuzzlealongsidethewoman’sthicklegs.

Whenhedidn’tspeak,sheasked,“Youthenewowner?”Shelookedintothepanasshespoke,likewhatevershewascooking,shehatedittothepointofsadness.

Heletoutthebreathhewasn’tawarehe’dbeenholding.Eventhekitchenaroundherwasamarvel,allknobsanddrawers,hangingpotsandcoppersinksandmachinesandallofithis.Itwouldtakehimmonths,mightbeyears,togrowintosuchaplace.Itrelievedhim,thethoughthewouldn’tbelivingherealone.Bouncerleftthewomanandwenttosniffandpawatadoor,anarrow

doorwithabrassknob.Thedogwhined.Hesniffedatthekeyhole.

ThewomanfollowedJamal’seyestothedoor.“It’slocked,”shesaid.“Beenlockedsincewemisplacedthekey.”

Thedogcontinuedtosniffalongthecrackrunningbeneathit.Onepawscratchedatthewoodenfloor.

“Mustbehesmellsmice,”thewomansaid.Sheturnedbacktothepanshewasmindingonthestovetop.“Nothingupthosestairsbuttheattic.”Hervoicewassing-song,featherweight,saying,“Nope,justoneemptyoldattic.”

Jamalwentandcollaredthedog,draggingBouncerawayfromthelockeddoor.“Wherearemymanners,”hesaid,andheofferedherhisfreehand.“MynameisJamalSpicer.”

Shedidadouble-take,oneeyebrowarched,lookinghimupanddown,slow,asifforthefirsttime.Hershoulderssaggedandsheshookherheadasiftoclearhervision.“YoutheonefromtheTV?”

Fromthefirstlineageiswhatshemeant.Thestatemediahadbeenrunninglittlebiographiestointroducepeopletothesystemofmenwho’dberunningthenewnationofBlacktopia.EachmaninhistribehadreadaloudfromtheTalbottbook,andthesereadingsrotatednightandday.SeeinghimselfontelevisionhadmadeJamalfeelsickwiththelimitedrealityofhimself,hiscrookedteethandbigears,butgettingrecognizedhadbeguntomakehimproudtobethemanheturnedout.

Thewomanwipedherhandsinherapronandacceptedhishandshake.“Pleasedtomakeyouracquaintance,”shesaid,hervoicebreathlesswithamazement.Asmilerelaxedherface.Agladsmile,notlikepartoftheuniformshewasforcedtowear.“Myname’sArabella.”

Folksheretocookandcleanforhim,itwouldseemhe’dwalkedintoaready-madefamily.“Here’sBouncer,”hesaid,shakingthedogbyitscollar.AndJamalreturnedhersmile.

Thewaitstoodashisonlyoption.Gavynhadregisteredasaresidentalien,gonetothepostofficeandfilledouttheforms,declaredhishomosexualityandtakenanoathtothesame.Theclerkwho’dadministeredtheoathfixedhimwithasternlook.

“Youknowyoucan’twork,”she’dwarned,“notlegally.”

GavynhadreadasmuchintheTalbottbook.

“Youcan’tvoteoroperateamotorvehicle,either,”theclerkhadsaid.

Gavynsaid,“Iunderstand.”

Theclerkslippedapamphletfromapacketofpapers.Sheread,“Untilrelocationcanbeapproved,residentaliensmustreporttheircurrentplaceofresidenceandanychangesinsaidplacetotheappropriateauthorities.”

Thatmeanthisparents’house.Fatchancehecouldmoveout,notwithoutajoboradriver’slicense.TheDeclarationofInterdependenceguaranteedmutualrespectbetweenallracesandsexualities,butrespectwaseasierwheneachwasisolated,snuginhisownhomeland.Gavynwasanoutsider,stuckamongheterosexuals.Forhowlong,nobodycouldsay.

Tomakemattersworse,theclockwasticking.Tobequeer,atleastuntilAdjustmentDay,meantalmosttwodecadesoftorture.Beingcalled“Gay-vin”andgettingpoundedintolockersonaweeklybasis,withparentswhohadn’taclueaboutwhataqueerkidneededtoknow.Butthepayoffwasturningeighteen.Thatbirthdayvaultedapersonfrombeingtheweakest,mostvictimizedmemberofsocietytotheheightsofbecomingoneofthemostpowerful.

Womenknewthistransformation.Onedaythey’reoff-limits,horsey,coltishjailbait.Ignored.Dismissed.Andthenextdaythey’releadingmenaroundbythenose.Richmen.Powerfulmen.Themostattractivemenintheworldarevyingforayoungwoman’sattention.Itwasaformofpowerthatdidn’tlastforever,butitwaspower.Anditcouldbeleveragedformoneyandeducationandaccesstopeople,eventuallytoamore-lastingformofpower.Sure,somedayhe’dbealawyeroranengineer,butfornowGavynmerelywantedtobebeautifulandpullthefocuseverytimeheenteredaroom.Aftersolonggettingridiculedandslammedintowalls,hedeservedhismomentinthespotlight.

Thewindowofyouthopenedateighteen,andithadashelflife.Gavynlovedhisparents,buthecouldn’twaittoemigratetoaworldwherehe’dbenormal.

Untilthenhewasmoreorlessahostage.

TheholdupcameintheformoftheCompensationClause.TheTalbotbookheldthathomosexualsaccruewealthandskillsfasterbecausethey’renotburdenedwithbearingandraisingtheiryoung.Liketheeggofacuckoo,thehomosexualchildwasbornintoaheterosexualhomeandfledgedtojoinhishomosexualfamily.Thustheheterosexualexhaustedtimeandresourcesthatultimatelybenefitedthehomosexualworld.Aconstantexportofnewadultsfromthewhiteandblackhomelandstothehomosexualrepresentedatradeimbalanceofthecruelestkind.Young,vital,fullyschooledoffspringweresiphonedawaytotheirappropriatehomelandwhiletheirparentswereleftwithoutcompensationorsupportintheirwaningyears.

Itwasn’tideal,Gavynunderstoodthat.

TheCompensationClausehadbeenenactedtobalancethesituation.Itstatedthatahomosexualadultraisedbyheterosexualscouldemigrateonlywhenaheterosexualraisedbyhomosexualswasreadytoemigrate.Somewhere,Gavynprayedakidwascomingoutasstraighttohislesbianparents.Thatkidwould,likeGavyn,getsenttothepostofficewhereaclerkwouldgivehimtheformsGavynhadjustnowfilledout.Thatdisapproving,cluck-cluckingclerkwouldwarnthestraightkidnottoseekemploymentoroperateavehicleorattempttovoteinanyelection.Andthatkid,theanti-Gavyn,wouldgobacktohistwomommiesortwodaddiesorwhateverthecasemightbe,toprayforaphonecall.

Senioryear,they’ddoneaunitonAdjustmentDayandthenewnationstates.Theteacherswhowereleft,theoneswhoweren’tburiedintheendzoneofFranklinHighSchool’sfootballfield,thoseteachersweregiddywithpraiseforthelineages.Tolistentothem,thelineageguyswereheroes.Ifitwasn’tfortheheroes,Gavyn’sgenerationwould’vebeenmarchedofftodieinthefalseflagwar.Gavynincluded,thankstostupidequalcivilstupidrights.

Whenhisteachershadn’tbeenreadingaloudfromtheTalbottbook,they’dbeenlecturingthatthemenhadbeenjustified.Studentsheldupcameraphonesandtriedtocatchanyonenotcarryingtheblue-blackbookornotexpressinglovefortheneworder.Thelineageswerejustified,aspertheteachers,duetothefactthatmalebabiesusedtohavetheirgenitalsroutinelymutilatedandthecourtsoflawwerebiasedagainstmeninchildcustodyandno-faultdivorcecases,andbecausetheprisonsweresofilledwithmenthatthemalesuicideratewasmorethanfourtimesthefemalesuiciderate.

Betweenlecturesthey’dwatchedaneducationalfilm:Bulldozerspushinggreatmolderingheapsofsomething.Thismesswasn’ttheusualslaughteroftinybabyroosters.Screamingflocksofseagullswheeledintheair,circlingthebulldozersandthegarbagebeingburied.Agulldovetograbsomething,thenflewpastthecamera.Pinchedinoneofthebird’stalonswasanear.Themoundsofgray,squashedstuffbeinggroundbeneaththebulldozertreadsandbladedintothedirt,theywereuntoldnumbersofhumanears.

Whencalledupon,studentswereexpectedtoknoweacharticleoftheTalbottbookbyheart.Forexample:

BountywillbepaidforinformationleadingtothearrestofanypersonusinganyunitofcurrencyotherthantheTalbott.

AsanalienresidentGavynwasn’teligibletoearnbountymoney.

IntheoryGavynshould’vebeenhappy.Onlynobodymentionedallthebloodandhowpeoplecouldfindbulletholesinthecafeteriawallbehindwherethetargetswerelinedup.Noduh,ahomosexualhomelandsoundedgreattoGavyn,buthefeltconflicted.Asifhe’dmetayoungpriestwearingashort-sleevedshirt,onlytheguyhassexytattoos,onlyhe’sapriest,onlyhisarmsareastonishinglymuscular,onlythetattoosarefullofswastikas.Thatkindofamixedblessing.

Gavynhadn’tbeenaskedtowearapinktriangle,butthatdidn’tseemveryfardowntheroad.Onlytherewasn’tmuchchoice.Thiswasthenewrealworldsohewasgoinghometositandwaitbythephone.

BackintheBeforeTimes,Walter’sfingershadslowedasifwalkingbehindTalbott’svoice.Walter’swriting,theshadowoftheoldman’stalk.He’dexpoundedontheideaofperishablemoneyandhowitwouldcreateaferociousclimateofearningandspending.Suchmoneywouldbeamediuminsteadofanasset,itwouldnolongerkeephumantimeandenergysuspendedinlockedvaults.

Ithadbeenslowgoing.Whetherfrombloodlossorage,theoldmanhadrambled:

ThePrincipleofFatalContrariansholdsthatsocietyhasworkedagainstthebenefitofcertainindividualsforsolongthatthosepersonswillnevertrustit.Theywillcontinuetopositionthemselvesagainstsocietyregardlessofitsaims,evenifthosegoalsultimatelyworkinthe

contrarian’sbestinterests.

Talbotthadgaspedawake.Hisheadhadlolledonhisstringyneck,andthedriedbloodhadcrustedinhiswrinkles,thosefurrowsacrosshisforehead,andthecrow’s-feetradiatingfromthecornersofeacheye.Flakesofredlitteredhisshouldersashedictated:

Peoplewillcelebratebeautyorgeniusbutnotwhentheyoccurinthesameperson.Tofindbothqualitiesinoneindividualoccursasaninjusticenoonewilltolerate.Whenithappenseitheroneor

bothgiftsmustbedestroyed.

Walterhadcheckedonthelisteveryhour.Nameshadappearedandvanished,andthosethatremainedwerecollectingimpressivevotes.Thepoliticians,especially.Talbottwouldnodoff,hisheadfloppedtooneside,andWalterwouldtoggletoTheListwebsite.Withasnort,hisnewoldmanwouldjerkawakeandannounce:

Drugsarepopularbecausetheygivetheuserawindowofmadnessorillnessthatcanbescheduled.Unlikesickness,drugscansynchronizetheinfection,derangement,andrecuperationofagroupof

people.

Pronouncementmade,theoldmanhadcollapsedintoanotherdroolingstupor.

Asforthelist’spurpose,Walterhadnoidea.Itconsistedofonlynamesandnumbers,namesandnumbers.AsperTalbott’sinstructions,ifsomeonepostedanameanditdidn’tattractatleastthreethousandvoteswithinaweekWalterwastodeleteit.Toguessbythepattern,thewaythenumbersseemedtodoubleeveryday,thendoublethenext,knowledgeofthewebsitewasspreadingbywordofmouth.

Onanimpulse,Walterhadenteredthenameofhisleastfavoriteprofessor.Themanhadfailedhimforrefusingtoaccepteverylectureasgospel.WalterhadtypedthenameDr.EmmetBrollyandhitEntertopostit.Thelisthadautomaticallyscrolledtoshowwherethenameoccurredinthealphabeticalorder,sandwichedbetweenastatesenatorandacablenewsanchor.

Evenashe’dwatched,asinglevoteappearedbesideBrolly’sname.Atworeplacedtheone.Athreereplacedthetwo.

NoparentsevernamedtheirchildDeliciousBastille.That’sthenameshechoseforherimmigrationpapers.Anewhomeland,anewname.BeginningonAdjustmentDay,everyemigranttookadvantageofafreshstart.AristidesandAristotles.BaccaratsandBeauregards.AndDelicious,whowithoutquestionshouldnothavewornbuttermilk-yellowcrepemuslin,notifshe’dsuspecteditwouldrain,donningaskintightdresswithoutacoatorwrap.Noamountofelasticandunderwirecouldimproveupontheeye-poppingcurvesofherbodysoshedidwithout.Halfwayfromwhereshe’dparked,theskieshadopenedup,everydroppaintingthepalefabrictoheruntilthedresshidnomoreofhermochaskinthanwouldalayerofmeltedbutter.

Everylesbianeyesnuckpeeksather.Attheswellingbreaststhatseemedtolungeup,up,andawayfromDeliciousBastille’schest.Thenipples,twoobviouspurplebull’s-eyesbeneathherclingingbodice.Strangerseye-rapedthetautmusclesofhertawnythighs,thesavorycleftofheramplebuttocks,allsoclearlydelineatedthroughherrain-soakedskirt.

Letthemstare,shetoldherself.Theirstareshadpreventedherfromlookingaroundtherestaurant.Ifshe’dmettheirleeringeyes,she’dneverbeabletohideherfrustrationandrage.

Hereshesat,nakedforallintentsandpurposes,pickinghalf-heartedlyathersalad.Shekepthereyesfixedononlyimmediateobjects:herglassofpinotnoir,herbreadplate,thesinglepinkroseinthetable’scenter.Sheshutoutthebuzzingdiningroomfilledwithgaysandlesbians.Excepthere,theyweren’tgaysandlesbians.Inthecompleteabsenceofheterosexuals,thepeopleseatedatthetablesaroundheramountedtomeremenandwomen.Womenandmen.

Tohelpavoidsomanyeyes,shefocusedonherdinnercompanion.Acrossthetablesatawomansportingawildblazeofredhair.Thepost-relocationnameshewentbywasGingerPrestige,andshewasthelatestofmanyblinddatesarrangedforDeliciousbythewomenintheaerospacecorporation.Noneofhercoworkersseemedabletotolerateanunmarriedfemaleintheirranks,sotheywereforeverthrowingDelicioustogetherwithsinglewomennamedCalyxorEsteem.Delicioussuspectedthatasinglegalwasathreatinthepaired-up,domesticatedworldofmiddle-agedwomen’ssociety.

Theredheadliftedlongfingerstotoywithadanglingcurlbesideherface.ShemetDelicious’sgazeandasked,“Soyou’reanaerospaceengineer?”

Delicioussippedfromherglassofwine.Shegaveamodestnod.

Thewoman,Ginger,lookedsheepishlyatDelicious’stransparentdress,whichstretchedtauttocoverhertinywaist.Theadmirationshinedinherblueeyesasshesaid,“Whatyou’redoingissoheroic.”

WhatshereferredtowasthemissiontoMars—atentpole,nationwidecampaigntounitethefledglinghomelandandclaim,atleastsymbolicallyclaim,theentireplanetofMarsinthenameoftheOscarWildeset.Deliciouswasoneofthehomeland’sleadingexpertsinrocketry,arguablythelinchpinofthenation’sracetoputsame-sex-orientedastronautsontheredplanet.

Delicioushadonlytakenasinglesipofwine.Toavoidtemptation,shesignaledforthewaitertotakeawayhernearlyfullglass.

Ginger’slongfingersandfulllipsinvitedfantasy.DeliciousshudderedwithafrissonofsensationassheimaginedGinger’sfreckled-pinkfaceatworkbetweenherowncocoathighs.Thebrilliantaerospaceengineercaughtherselfandshookofftheappealingvision.She’dbeenalonetoolong,tryingtoremainfaithful.ThefantasysaidlessaboutGinger’ssexinessthanitdidabouthowlongDelicioushadabstainedfromsex.

Gingerwavedforthewaitertorefillherownglass,saying,“I’mdrinkingfortwo.”OfDelicioussheasked,“Whatsignareyou?”

Deliciousrearrangedthenapkinspreadatopherlittlelap,saying,“LateMay.”

Gingersmiled.“AGemini.”

WhenDeliciousfailedtoengage,theredheadasked,“Soasanaerospaceguru,whatdoyouthinkofthewholeflyingpyramidthing?”

Delicioushadbeencelibateforfivemonths.Twentysoul-crushing,lonelyweekshadgonebysinceshe’denteredthisstrangenation.Shebeganfork-rapinghersaladgreensinsearchofanartichokeheart.Liftinghereyestorequestaglassoforangejuice,anotherboringglassoforangejuicewhenwhatshecravedwasavodkamartini,avodkamartiniwiththreegarlic-stuffedolivesandacertainblondman’smassive,rock-harderectionbringinghertoatoe-curlingclimax...whensheglancedupforawaitershesawtheblondman.

Hesatinanarrowboothatthefaredgeoftheroom.Athinwhiteman,skinny,with,atbest,atennisplayer’sbuild,butinactualityhardlymorethanskinandbone.Sherecognizedhisblondhair,cutlongernowandcombedinaboyishsprayacrosshiswide,ivoryforehead.HesatsidewaystohersoDeliciouscouldseehisfullprofile.Acrossfromhimateaheavilymuscledgiant,ablackmanbarelycontainedinatoo-tightjerseypullover.Thegiant’sjeans-cladlegswerevisiblebeneaththetable,andDeliciouswatchedashewedgedbothmeatykneesbetweenthekneesoftheslenderwhitemanandslowlybeganforcingthoseboneykneesapart.

Theslightlybuiltmanpulledaway,buttheconfinesoftheboothdidn’tallowroomforhimtofullyescapecontact,andDeliciouswatchedasthepredatorygiantspreadtheunwillingman’sscrawnylegs.Blushing,holdingbacktearsofhumiliation,theslenderblondseemedtosenseDeliciouswatchingandturnedtomeethergaze.

Shelookedaway.Herheartknockedagainstherribs.Hereawomanriskedeverythingifshestaredamomenttoolongataman.Shecouldbefiredfromherjob,evictedfromherhome.Thegovernmentcouldtakecustodyofherchildren,andshe’dbedeportedtoahomeland,whiteorblack,wherenoonethoughtitaperversionforwomenandmentobeintimate.

Iftheredheadhadnoticed,shesaidnothing.Shesippedherwineandruminatedaboutthebaby-makingrace.Everyhourheterosexualswerecreatinghomosexuals.Thehomosexualscouldneverkeeppace.They’dneverprovidematchingnumbersofheterosexualchildrentoexchange,andthatmeantasteadybacklogofhomosexualchildrentrappedinheterosexualhomelands.Herofficewiththegovernmenttrackedthenumbers,sheexplained.Inanattempttobalancethebooks,theywereproposingacashequivalentbepaidforchildrenwhocouldn’tbetradedforchildren.Akindofdowrywouldbepaidtotheheterosexualparentsascompensationfortheireffortsandtohelpfundtheiroldage.Calleda“liberationfund,”itamountedtohundredsofmillionsofdollars,butthemoniescouldberaisedthroughdonations.

Deliciousonlyhalflistened.Ittookeverystrengthshepossessedtonotturnandlookattheblondman.Shesensedhiseyesonher,onthesoftcurveofherbreasts,andshegrittedherteethinhereffortnottoweep.

AsthepalaceofSanSimeonistoitsisolatedstretchofCaliforniacoastlinesoisMaryhillcastletothePacificNorthwest.Eachisthesteel-reinforcedconcretelegacyofawealthytycoonsheathedinOldWorldarchitecturaldetailsandfurnishedwiththetreasuresboughtatfire-salepricesfromimpoverishedroyalfamilies.Bothedificesstandatopheights,overlookingthedramaticlandscapeformiles.Eachwasnicknamedbyitsrespectivebuilderas“theRanch.”

Allmagnificenceappearsasfollyatfirst.AstheEiffelTowerdaredtoriseaboveParisin1887,theFrenchculturalmavenVictorHugocondemneditasahideousoilderrickthatwoulddefacethecity.Likewise,astheEmpireStateBuildingwascompletedin1931andsatthroughtheDepressionwithouttenants,thepeopleofNewYorkbegantoderidetheirnewlandmarkasthe“EmptyStateBuilding.”Timelegitimizestheoutrageous.

Maryhill,thatimprobableItalianpalazzo,isnolessimpressivethanitsCaliforniarivalbecauseofitsgrimsituation.Adesertsurroundsit,littleasidefrombarren,wind-scouredscablands.OrnatebronzegrillswroughtinsomeRenaissancestylebarthewindows,makingitasmuchaprisonasafortress,foraccumulatedwithinareSlavicthronesandcrowns,TsaristportraitsandpricelessporcelainlootedfromtheOrient.Anditwasinthisready-madekingdomthatCharlieestablishedhishousehold.HisincomeamountedtotheonlysourceofTalbottdollarsintheregionsothedestitutefrommilesaroundpresentedthemselvesathisdoor.Hatinhand,eachaskedtobetakenintohispatronage.Themostcomelyamongthem,Charlieacceptedasteamwives,withthemarginallymoreattractivemadetoserveinhishouseholdwhilethelesserwouldlaborasfieldwives.Toawoman,theywerealltowearrippablebodices,andthemenweretowearkiltsortrewsastheweatherdiddictate.

Charliehimselffavoredanovertunicdenselyembroideredingold,worntocoveralinenshirtfeaturingcommodioussleeves.Velvet-panedtrunkhoseadornedhislowerlimbs,thefabricmadefastabouthiscalvesandanklesbyacrisscrossingofleatherthongs.ForsuchacostumewasinkeepingwiththenascentculturalidentityofCaucasia.

Amongthelonglistofarduoustaskswastherenamingofeverything.Foreverymountainandwatercourseneedberechristenedinaccordwiththeemergentsociety.InadditiondidCharlieordertheerectionofastoutstonebrewhouseforthemanufactureofmead.AshedidsummonthewatersofthemightyColumbiaRiver—fromhenceforthtobereferredtoasthe“CharlieBourne”—hedecreedthatwatersenoughbepipedandcompelleduplandastoprovideforthefarmingofexpansivefields.AgrandenterprisedidCharlieundertaketofound,hispalacewasquicklythecenterofexpansesofcurlyendivegivingwaytogreatswathsofsugarbeets,cilantro,andasurplusofrutabagas.

InaccordwiththeculturalvaluesofCaucasiadidcommonmenroamthecountrysideattiredintunicsandcassocksandcapes,shodinbootsorsandalsdependentupontheseason,whileatoptheirheadssatheadgeardenotingtheirrank.Liveriedweremanyindoubletsfeaturinggoredsleevesofflashingruby-coloredbrocades.Abouttheirshoulderstheycarriedthejewelsplunderedfromnofewmuseumsandmore,forpearlscouldbeboughtfromtheformerlywell-offforthepriceofanegg,andgoldhadusetoneitherthestarvingnorthedead.

SoCharlieandhiscourtiersdidsquireandbindtothemselvestheyoungestandmostlovelywhomcouldbeflushedout.AndbythewearingofsuchraimentdidCharlieandhisfellowchieftainsofCaucasiarediscovertheirnobleheritage.AndtrussedinVenetianbreechesdidtheygrippewterflasksofheartyaleandclangthosetankardstogetherwithboisteroustoaststooneanother.Busywerethehomewivesall,thosemultitudinousteamsofwives,sewingsporrans.

Thechallengeofprovinghimselfaherogavewaytothebusinessofmanagingdomesticaffairs,andCharliewastoobusytoquestionwhetherornothewaseversatisfied.Yetevenwhilehedidgadaboutattiredintabardsandbrigandines,quiltedgambesons,jerkins,andhouppelandes,eventhendidanemptinessassailhim.InresponsedidCharlieappointaCommitteefortheRevivalofProperCulture,whichrevivedtheminuet.Revivedgallantryandcourtierhandkissing.InstitutedthemandatorypracticeofWhite-Speak.AndfurthermoretosuffusehisrealmwithmeaningdidhereinstatetheworshipofOdinandThor,andtothatenddidpioneerthebuildingofanantiquecathedralcompletewithflyingbuttressesandnaves,butevenashekneltattherailandpartookofthenewlyinventedancientsacraments,eventhendidCharliefeeldissatisfied.

Busyandfedwerehissubjects.Theydidconsultneglectedtextsinsearchofrecipesfordyesandpatternsforthetattingofforgottenlaces.Andastunicsgrewshorter,theboldestoftheircompany

donnedcodpiecesofgildedleatherencrustedwithpearls.Andinthevicinityofthesecodpieceswereteamwivesalwayspreparedtobeinterferedwith.AswainmightdoffhisTudorcaporplumedtricorn,butthechivalrymoreoftendedthere!

ThisaforementionedemptinessputCharlieinmindofhighschool.HeharkenedbacktoEnglishclassandthestudyofFlaubert’sunfinishednovelBouvardandPécuchet.Whilehismore-vibrantschoolmatescutcapersandbandiedaboutenticementstoattainsexualecstasy,boyCharliehadporedoverthebook,retainingitsbasicpremise:Twoclerksarebestowedafortuneandleavetheirnormallivesinordertodiscovergreatersatisfactioninamoreennoblingpassion.Thetwotearthroughwine,art,horseracing,andfindnonesufficientlyfulfilling.Intheendtheyreturntotheirformerlivesofnumbercrunchingandscribblinginledgers.

ThatparablenowstuckinCharlie’scrawasifhewereswallowingapeanutbuttersandwicheatentoofastintoo-bigbites.Wasitpossiblethathewasincapableofsavoringlifeasapotentate?Hadherisentoofarabovehisnaturalstationasalowlygreasemonkeyoftheshopfloor?

He’dheardtalesofnascentrockmusicians.Avant-gardefigurescastfromthesamemoldasKurtCobain,who,oncetheywererewardedwithafortune,boughttherequisitemanorhousesimplybecauseitseemedthenextriteofpassage.Onlyforyearsafterthey’doccupyasingleroomofthesame,oftenthesmallestroom,oftenonlyalargecloset.

Consideringthatprecedent,Charlieresolvednottoshrinkfromhisdestiny.Buttograduallyexpandintohisnewrole.Andwhilethewomenfolkofhishouseholdwerecompliantandprivilegedtobearhisprogeny,heneededonewhocouldhelpshouldertheburdenofhisreign.

Itdawneduponhimthathisnextchallenge—perhapshisgreatestchallenge—wouldbetobalancetheinequitybetweenthemenandwomenofhislands.Tothatendwouldhetrackdownandmasteranexceptionalfemaleforthepurposeofgroominghertoserveasasuitablepublicwife.Whereasthewomendidallofthestoopedlaborinthefields,andwomenkepttidythechambersofhisMaryhillpalace,whilemenfolkdidquafflagerandswaggeraboutsowingtheseedsofthenextgeneration,ifCharlieweretograntwealthandpowertoasinglefemale,raisinghertothestatusofdeity,thatactwouldcounterbalancethelowpositionofallherfemaleunderlings.

TheenzymesinPiper’scellsbegantheirself-destructprocessofautolysis,digestingthecellularwallsandreleasingtheliquefiedmesswithin.Bacteriapresentinhislungs,hismouth,sinuses,anddigestivetractgorgedthemselvesonthisamberfloodofaminoacids.Fliesfoundtheeyes,therectum,genitals,andnostrilsandbegantolaytheireggs.Larvaehatchedandburrowedbeneaththeskintodevourthelayerofsubcutaneousfat.

Theeyescollapsed.

Theintestineshadalreadycollapsed,effectivelysealingthemselvesandtrappingthegasproducedbythebacteriainthedigestivetract,andthebellybegantobloat.Trappedbacteriaswelledthefaceandgenitals,swellingthetongueuntilitextendedbetweenthestretchedandswollenlips.Thepenisexpandedinafinalmockerection,turgidwiththebyproductsofbacteria.Theonlysoundwasthenoiseofmaggotsdevouringtheface.Acracklingsound.Theexactsamenoiseasstuddedsnowtiresmakedrivingslowlyoverbarepavement.

Theabdominalwallruptured,thegasvented,andthetorsocollapsedintoafoul,spreadingpuddle.Thebacteriainthemouthdigestedthepalateandattackedthebrain,whichdissolvedquickly,escapingfromtheears.Meat-eatingbeetles,AnthrenusverbasciandDermesteslardarius,arrivedtofeastonthemuscles.

Thenpossiblyonlytheskinandbonesremained.Mostlikely,thebeetlesresortedtoeatingtheskin.

Allthewhilethetelevisionremainedon.Thesamemanbeingdevouredbybeetles,devouredbymaggots,helookedoutuponhismortalremainsandsaid:

Thecowardtakesoffenseonbehalfofothers.Leteachmantakeresponsibilityforonlyhisownreaction.

Themaggotsmaturedintofliesandlaidmoreeggs.Andthehandsomemanonthetelevisionscreentoldthefliescrawlingoverhisskeleton:

Tomakeacareerofrescuingpeopleisalsotocreateapermanentclassinneedofrescue.

Flieslinedthewindowsofthecondominium.Deadfliescoveredthewindowsills,andstillmoreflieslaidtheireggs.Maggotsandmoremaggotshatched.AndthemaninhisbespokeSavileRowsuit

toldthem:

Wemustalloweachindividualtopersevereortoperishashechooses.

Eachnewgenerationofflieslaiditseggsandmaturedanddiedtryingtoreachthesunshineoutsidetheclosedwindowsuntilthesubcutaneousfatwasconsumedandthelastamongthelastgenerationoffliesfelldeadonthewindowsill.Eventhenthemanonthetelevision,whosefacemightbethatofakingorsaintorpresident,helookedovertheskullandbonesonthefloorbeneathhimandtoldit:

Amanisnotgoingtogetlovedbybeinglovable.

Foremigrationshe’dchosenhisname:GentryTate.He’dchosenDeliciousBastilleforher.They’dtoastedtheirnewmonikerswithchampagne,butnotmuchbecauseshe’ddesperatelywantedtogetpregnant.Hidinghadkeptthemtogether,butanydaytheknockcouldcometotheirdoor.

He’dbedeported,relocatedtotheethnicstateforwhites.She’dbeheldthere,intheformerstateofLouisiana,renamedpartofBlacktopia.Ifsheboreachilditwouldbetestedandassignedanappropriatehomeland.They’dfirstplannedtoescapetoCanada,butamillioninterracialcoupleshadhatchedthesameidea.Tostemtherush,Ottawahadclosedtheborders.

Leavingthemwithoneoptioniftheywantedtoremaintogether.Nottogether-together,notasmanandwife,notevenasfriendsoracquaintanceswhometoccasionallyinpassing.

No,passingashomosexualswastheironlyoption.Thequeernationadmittedbothblacksandwhites,andnogenetictestingcouldbetraytheiractualsexualities.Notthatthehomosexualsdidn’tforeseetheseattempts.Rumorhaditthatdesperatemixed-racefamiliesweresplittingaparttemporarilyandemigrating,thensurreptitiouslyreuniting.Mexicohadlongagostoppedacceptingrefugees.

Delicioushaddatedawomanwhoworkedinthefrauddetectiondivisionofimmigrationpolicy.Thewomanhadmadeitclearthatimmigrantscaughtengagingincovertheterosexualactivitieswouldbeimprisoned.DuetothehighnumberofhomosexualyouthsinCaucasiawaitingforexitvisas,thequeernationwasaggressivelysearchingforclosetedheterosexualsinordertotradethemforthewould-begayemigrants.

Iffoundout,Deliciouswouldberelocatedposthaste.Gentry,too,buteachtoadifferentethnicstate.Itdidpresentaconundrum.

They’djokedaboutseekingeachotherlateatnightingrimyunisexpublictoilets.Kissesstoleninfilthybackalleys.Demeaninganddegradingasthosecircumstancesloomed,attheveryleastDeliciousandGentrywouldpreservetheirattachmenttoeachother.Theirloveandtheirfuturechild.Untilthechildwastheagetodeclarehisorhersexuality,untilthentheycouldbealittlefamily.Theymightevensharecustody,handingoffthechildingritty,grimyadultbookstoreswhentheymetfortrystsinsomeunspeakablywretched,sticky-flooredpornographyarcadeswheretheirfellowsecretiveheterosexualswenttoconsummatetheirfrowned-uponpassions.Sordidconjugalvisitsinpitsofsleaze.

Consideringsuchatableau,Deliciouscouldn’thelpbutthinkoftheHolySaviorborninadirtystable.Thathadturnedoutwell,moreorless.

Shedespisedthethoughtofherchildbeingusedasapawnininternationalpolitics,butthatdecisionwaseighteenyearsinthefuture.Itwaspossiblethatbythenlawswouldchange.IfthechildchosetobegayitmightevenserveasananchorbabytokeepherandGentryinthesamehomeland.

Oneblessingaboutorangejuiceisthatitgaveheraconstantexcusetotinkle.Shedabbedatthecornersofhermouthwithhernapkinandfixedherdatewithameeksmile.“Naturecalls.”Sherosefromherchair,deliberatelynotglancinginthedirectionofGentryandhisaggressivehe-man,dareshethink“date”?Betweentheopenstaresregardinghertransparentyellowdress,andherdeliberatelyslowpromenadeacrossthediningroom,elaboratelycircumnavigatingit,wendingherwaybetweentablesasifconfusedaboutthelocationofthetoilets,withboththosefactorstoheradvantageshecouldonlyhopeherhusbandwouldnoticeherandhurrytocatchup.

Shastafoundthewebsite.Thebannerread“BrideofKings”andbelowthatitlistedeachmemberofeachlineagecurrentlyreviewingprospectivebrides.OnenamedBrach,aformerforkliftoperatorwho’dtakenpossessionofanislandestatenearSeattlewherehelivedwithhisharemofteamwives,thesitelistedhimasseekingadditionalmatches.

Brachownedagrowingchainofdiners.Shastahadseentherevolvingsignsthattoweredabovefreewayexits.Inboldblacklettersagainstalightedbackground,thesignsread“WhitesOnly.”Whetherthiswasaboastoranironicexpressionofresignation,Shastacouldn’tbegintoguess.ThemenuofferedNazipennepasta,aKlanburger,aHitlerveggietacosalad.

Brachandhisilk,princesandbaronstheycalledthemselves.Lastmonth’sgreasemonkeysanddoggroomers.Anaristocracyofformersteamfittersandgarbagehaulers.They’dpickedupgunsandblownthebrainsoutofcivilization.They’dreadtheTalbottbook.Theylivedbyit.Byreadingitherselfshecouldguesshowherlifeasateamwifewouldturnout.Asabroodmare,poppingoutwhitebabiestorepopulatethenewnationstate.Astringofbabiesbornayearorlessapart,whatherownmomusedtocall“Irishtwins.”

Insmallsettlementsandcampspeopleassembledtovote.Theyelectedtheirmostattractiveyoungwomanandpooledtheirresourcestogroomheranddressher.Andequippedwithanentourageofstylistsandhelpmates,eachofthesebeautyqueenswassentforthtothecourtsofmenineachlineage.Fortohaveadaughtermarryintothelineageensuredacommunitywouldnotbeneglected.Asthewifeofalineageprinceshecouldexertherinfluenceforthebenefitofherbirthplace.

Andtheyjourneyedforth,thesepartiesofyoungladies,eachwasapotentialqueenaccompaniedbyherhandmaidens.Andtheystreamedfromcourttocourt,fundedbythehopeanddreamsoftheirhamlets.Formercheerleadersandhomecomingdanceroyals,harvestqueensandrodeoprincesses.

Andasateamthegroupshowcasedtheirleadersoshemightforgeapowerfulalliance.Andinpreparationforeachmeeting,theladiesinwaitingcurledandpeeled.Theypluckedandcombed.

PerTalbott,peopleneededtoestablishamoratoriumonprogress.Forthenexthundredyears,thereshouldbeaholdondevelopingnewtechnologyandmarvelsofengineering.Fortoolongwhitemenhadbeensublimatingtheirnaturalimpulsesthroughscience,sofromhereonthoseenergiesmustbechanneledintheirnaturaldirection.WhitemenneededtobackofffromtheIndustrialRevolutionortheInformationAgeorwhateverthiswas.Whitesneededtokickback,drinkbeer,havesomeoutdoorfun,andmakenothingbuthealthybabies.“GenerationSex”wasthemotto.

Thedukesandearls,theylovedtheirsportsterminology.Teamwivessuggestedwidereceivers,tightends,fullbacks.FieldwivesbroughttomindthepackedfieldofcontendersinNASCAR.Everyhumanendeavorfromtirefactoriestotruckfarmswasfallingunderthepatronageofsomelocalprince’sfiefdom.Newmoneyhadtobeearnedandspentquickly.Talbottsaidthecurrencywouldbegivenalongerlifeonceitwasestablished.Butforthepresentaskinhadtobuybread,gasoline,toothpaste,somegrapes,amovieticket,apairofsocks,passingthroughthatmanyhandsinasingleday.

Shasta’sownparents’marriagehadsurvivedbecausesometimeshermotherwouldleaveherweddingringbesidetheirbathroomsinkandgoouttohavedinnerforafewdays.Othertimes,herfatherwenttodinnerwithouthisring.

Onthewebsite,ChieftainCharliehadcaughtShasta’seyebecausehewasoneofthefewwhodidn’tlayclaimtotargetingtheactualpresidentoftheformerlyunitedstates.

She’duploadedacouplegoodselfies,oneafaceshot,oneafullbody.Shefollowedtheprompts.PositionSought:Leadwife.Wouldsheconsiderservingasateamwife:Yes.Height:Fivefoot,nineinches.Weight:Onehundredtwenty-fivepounds.Anyhistoryofhereditaryphysicalormentalillness:None.Hair:Blonde.Eyes:Periwinkle.Race:Caucasian.

ShehitEnter.Apromptappeared.“Asaconditionofacceptancetheapplicantmustsubmittogenetictestingtoconfirmoverallhealthandracialheritage.”

ShastahadclickedtheboxlabeledAgree.

Inroomsofanysize,sparklingcrystalsetonsilvertraysheldhooch,excellenthooch,andJamalpouredhimselfaglasstoenjoywhilehetouredhisnewdomain.Hesurveyedthetalloilpaintingsthatstretchedalmosttotheceiling.Withtheirbad-assswordsandmedals,thesemenhadbeentheplayersoftheirtime.They’dunderstandhimtakingthisplaceoffthehandsoftheirsoft-hearteddescendants.Thesesoldiermenhadtakenlivesinordertolivehere,tobuildthesewallsandmatewiththewomenwho’ddressedthisplaceinfrilledeverything.

Arabellaandherkinweregonehometotheirplace,asmallerhouseawaysoffontheproperty.Thishouse,thebighouse,hehadtohimself.

Butahousedidn’tmakeanyonepowerful.

JamaltookuphiscopyoftheTalbottbookandhisglassofgoodhooch,andhewenttothebiggestchairinfrontofthebiggestfireplaceandsettledhimself.ToreadTalbottwastoenterintothepatternofhismind.TofeelyourownthoughtspatternedafterTalbott’s.Thatwaspower:Tolivewithinthemindsofothers.Toreorganizetheirmindsinaccordwithyourown.ToJamal,thatwasthegreatestpower.

Hecouldn’trecallthelasttimehe’dsatawakeallnight,inthesilentdark,absorbingthewordsarrangedbyawriter’smind.Butthat’showheread,tonight.Thegrandoldclocks,inthehallways,onthemantel,tickedlikeold-timebombs.

AsTalbottputit:

Whetherit’sbybreedingchildrenorpreaching,it’swhatmendo:Thisconstantdisseminationofself.

Tolookatwhitementhesedays,somethingvitalhadbeenbredoutofthem.Howhadthosemen,theVikingsandtheNorse,menwho’dsailedtheirlongboatsuptheRhine,theVolga,theDnieper,andDanubetoburnandpillageandturnmostofacontinentblondandblue-eyed,howhadtheydisappearedsocompletely?Hesuspectedthatformostwhitemen,itwasprideenoughtonotbeblackorqueer.Thatwasreasonplentyforseparatehomelands.Itwouldforcemen,allmen,toearnareasontofeelsuperior.

Notoneofthesepaintedmenwiththeirmutton-chopsideburnsandbeardsandgoldbraidhadbeenborngreat.Eachhadriskedeverythingforachanceatsomethingbetter,andtoamantheystoodtriumphantatopahundreddeadenemiesorathousanddeadenemies.Victorsandvanquishedalike,theywerealldeadalikeandcongratulatingeachotheronthevalortheyhadshown.

That’swhenhehearditfirst.Thatlatenight.Aloneinthehouse.Jamaldidn’twanttoentertaintheideaofspookshauntinghim,butthat’swhathismindseizedupon.Consideringthetargetshe’dputdown,thosepeopletalliedandburied,someterrorsenthisthoughtsdownthatguilt-riddenpath.

Exceptitwasn’tanysoundusuallyassociatedwithaghost.Hesethisemptyglassonatable.Hisglassonhistableinhishouse,andhewasn’tgoingtoberunoffbyalate-nightnoise.Especiallynotthatparticularnoise.

Thatthunderofwatersomewhereandtheshudderofsomethingthrougholdpipes.Itcameagainandagain.

Fastbutunmistakable,itwasthesoundofsomebodyonafloorfaroverheadflushingatoilet.

Delicioussat,amidtheranksmellsandtheadjacentwetsplashes,lockedwithintheunisextoiletattherestaurant.Aknocksoundedatthedoor,followedbyawhispered,“Susan?”

Sheleanedforward,whispering,“Gentry?”Sheunlatchedthedoorandswungitopen.Herdressstillclungtohercurves.Shewaitedfullyclothedtherein.

Thescrawnywhiteboywhostoodinthehalf-opendoorwaysaid,“Don’tcallmethat.”

Hisname,beforeimmigrating,hisnamehadbeendifferent.Helookedbothwaysinthepassageoutsidethecubicle,thenquicklysteppedinside,pullingthedoorclosedandlockingit.Hisarmswereinstantlyaroundher.Hismouthonhers.Deliciousfelthisfingersinchingthedampskirtupherthighs.

Hislipsnuzzledthesideofherneck.Hiserectionproddedatherthroughhischinos.

Deliciouswonderedabouthisburlyblackdinnerpartner.Shecouldonlyhopethatbulked-up,hot-bloodedbrotherwasn’ttappingherhusband’sbonywhiteboy’sbackdoor.Shetoldherselftochill.Shetoldherselfitwasharderforabrotherbeinggay.Asistercouldflirtandbecoy,butadawgwasexpected,especiallyagaydawg,tobedickingorgettingdickedonamore-or-lessnonstopbasis.Still,asGentry’slipsrovedoverherbreasts,shehadtoask.

“Brian?”HisnamebeforewasBrian.Sheasked,“Isthatdawgbeenupinyou?”

Hismouthstillexploringher,hisfingerspawingthedressdownhershoulderandexposingher,Gentrymumbledsomething.Hehelduphishandandwaveditwithhisfingersspread.Agoldringglitteredaroundonefinger.Aweddingring.Andnottheoneshe’dgivenhimattheirownwedding.

Tooloudforalittletoiletcubicle,Deliciousblasted,“Youmarriedhim?”

Granted,sheknewthebestwaytoavoidsexwastogetmarried.Nothingkilledthegoodtimesfaster.Butdidhehavetohookupwiththefirstbighe-monster?OrwasGaysialikeamen’sprison,whereyouneededtobeoneinmate’sbitchoryou’dbepunkedbyeveryone?

Gentrysurfacedforair.Panting,hetoldher,“Neither.”

“Neither,what?”Deliciousdemanded.

Yeah,hewasmarriedtothebrother,Gentryexplained,buttheyweren’tdoingit.

Deliciouswasconfused.Gentryhaddroppedtohiskneesandwasworkinghiswayupinsideherdressinsteadofdown.WhatlookedlikeapregnancywasGentry’sbigwhiteblockheadstretchingherskirtatthebelly.Hishotbreathgargledsomethingintohersex.

Deliciousasked,“What?”Shewantedanswers,buttheirtimewaslimited,andshedidn’twanthimtostop.

Aknockcameatthedoor.Gentry’stonguestoppeditsrunningaroundbetweenherlegs.

Fromoutside,avoiceasked,“Delicious?”Itwastheredhead,GingerPrestige.Sheasked,“Youokay?”Whisperingclosetothedoor,sheasked,“You’renothavingoneofthosetoiletbabies,areyou?”

Gentrystartedtolaugh.WithhismouthcuppedoverDelicious,hewaslaughingairintoher.Hewasgoingtogiveherpussyfarts.Shemadeafistandrappedonhisheadwithherknucklestostop.Tothenosyredhead,shewentnuclear.Shehissed,“Don’tberacist.”

ItwastheworstaccusationyoucouldlevelinGaysia.Itdidn’tmakecompletesenseinthissituation,butitdidthetrick.

Thevoicesaid,“Mybad.”Footstepsseemedtotrailaway.

Hisheadstillstretchingthehelloutofherdampskirt,Gentrysaid,“Jarvisisn’tthatway.”

Themuscled-upgymratmakingthebigshowofpushingherskinnyhusband’slegsapartandhumiliatinghimasadown-rightbitchrighthereinpublic,accordingtoGentry,thebrotherwasheterosexual.He’demigratedseparatefromhiswhitewifeandhadspentthepastsevenmonthstryingtofindher.Forthetimebeing,heandGentryhadgottenmarriedsoeachcouldactastheother’sbeard.Itwasalottoexplainwithhisfaceshovedintohersnatch,buthesoundedsincere.ThebigdisplayofsexuallyhumiliatingGentrywasanact.Othertimes,they’daccuseoneanotherofcruisingsomeoneatanearbytableandlaunchintoascreamingslapfight.

Gentrywasgettingtohisfeet.Hewasgentlybutinsistentlyturningheraroundandliftingthebackofherskirt.Hetookhimselfout.

Thepubliccatfightsandsexualhazing,thiswasn’thowactualgaysbehavedinGaysia.Itwasstrictlytheoutsiderinterpretationoftwoheterosexuals,butitkeptpeoplefromgettingtooclose.

Deliciouswantedtoaskhowthey’dmet.Shewantedtofindaniceheterosexualgalandgethitched,herself.ButnowGentryputhimselfinsideherfrombehindsoshesteppedherfeetaswideasthelittlecubicalallowed.Sheleanedoverthetoiletandpushedherassbackagainsthisthrust.

Thecandleswerevexing.Theywouldn’tstaylit.Theyteeteredandtoppledandfell.Shastawatchedayoungwomannavigatethesidewalkinthetinystepsageishamighttake.Thegirlheldherheadpainfullyerect,crownedwithawreathofscratchyhollyleavesandpoisonousmistletoeberries.Sixtall,whitecandlesjuttedupfromthiscrown,eachtippedwithaflickeringflame.

EvenasShastawatched,oneofthegirl’scandlestilted.Itdrizzledmeltedwaxdownthebodiceofthegirl’sheavilyembroidereddirndl.Theoff-kiltertaperfell.Thegirl’shandssprangintoaction,beatingatasmallfiretheflamingwickhadignitedinthefoldsofherlinenskirt.Thesuddenmovementscatteredtheremainingcandlesfromherhead.Somerolledinthestreet.OthersdroppedintothegutterwheretheysetfiretousedcondomsanddiscardedpapermoneyfromtheBeforeTimes.

Thecandles,thecrownsofthorns,theywereasmuchatestofpoiseastheywereaCaucasianfashionstatement.Shastafiguredasmuch.

Andwearingthisbullshitfripperywasn’tsomuchaquirkytrendasitwasthelaw.

Thedirndlgirlcursedquietlyasshestrippedoffthesmokingruinsofherskirtsandpetticoats.Shastaengagedhercoremusclesandheldherspineramrodstraight.Yearsofyogahadpaidoff,keepingherowncandlessteady.Herswastheregalbearingofamonarchintrainingasshestrolledpasttheunfortunatescene.

Fromelsewhere,avoicecalled,“Chica!”Amalevoice.“Nicecandles!”

Turningtolooktookasloweternity—alwaysthecandlestoworryabout—butShastarecognizedtheyoungmanwalkingtowardher.Hecarriedadufflebagunderonearm.Inonehandheclutchedapaperbackbookasthickasabrick.HewasabrotherofherfriendEsteban,fromschool.GayEsteban.Shestruggledtomatchanametohisface.

“Xavier,”heoffered.Hewasthestraightbrother.“Wheredoyougetoffondressingallwhitegirl?”

Shedidn’tbothertoexplainaboutflunkingherDNAtest.Noduh,buthavingtwograndparentsfromQuintanaRoohadbitherintheass.Shewasover-the-lineHispanic.Andnotoneofthegoodkind,likefromSpain,either.Sheaskedifhe’dseenWalter.

Xaviershookhishead.Hesaid,“Youhaveacandleout.”

“Damn,”ShastasaidassheopenedherKateSpadetotebag.RevealedinsidewasasquashedjumbleofDanishpastriesandjellydoughnuts.Shegrimacedassheworkedherfingersintothemessofpuffpastry,Bavariancream,andpowderedsugar.

Xavierrecoiledfromthesightofmasheddelicacies,sneeringindisgust.“Whatareyousupposedtobe?”

Liftinghergazeslowly,shelookedpointedlyatthevariousotherwomenwhocarefullysippedlattesorwalkeddogsonleashesastheybalancedacrownofblazingcandlesatoptheirheads.“It’sScandinavianorsomething.”Thepricklyleavesanddrippingwaxstungherscalp.“It’stheScandinavianversionofdreadlocks.”

Xavierrolledhiseyes.“Well,itlooksstupid.”

Shastasnapped,“Well,it’sthelaw.”Herfingersfoundtheobjectofhersearch,andshepulledacigarettelightersmearedwithcustardfromthegummymorass.Sheofferedit,asking,“Please?”

Xaviertookthestickylighter.Hesniffeditlightly,asifhemightlickitclean.Attheflickofhisthumb,thelighteremittedahissingblueflame.

Shastastoopedtobringhercandleswithinhisreach.Doingsoshegothimaroundonewristandtwistedhishandsoshecouldreadthetitleofthebookheheld.AtlasShrugged.Dr.Brollyhadtaughtthebooklastsemester.

Asheputthelightertoeachwick,Xavierbegantosing,“Happybirthdaytoyou...”Thenhestoppedsingingandsaid,“We’reallself-deporting.TheentireMexicanDiasporaisgoingGalt.”MeaningallHispanics,Latinos,Chicanoswereheadedsouthoftheborder.“Thesewhitepeoplearemuyloco,”helaughed.“Aftertheyallstarveorwipeouteachother,we’llcomepickupthepieces.”

Mexicointhemeantimewould,asXavierputit,“blossomlikesomethingoutoftheItalianRenaissance.”

Shastakeptherheadbowedslightly.Staringatherwoodenclogs,sheasked,“Istherewaxinmyhair?”

“Europeanarcheology,”Xaviercontinued,“hasimposeditsownbogusnarrativeonPre-Columbianeverything.”Forexample,hecitedthepaintingsandcarvingsreputedtoshowAztecsrippingouttheheartsofhumansacrifices.HeknewforafactsuchartworkactuallydepictedMesoamericansconductingsuccessfulhearttransplantsurgeries.Theloftystoneslabsatoptheirpyramidswereinactualityoperatingtablesplacedwherethehealthydaylightwasstrongest.

“Evenmoreamazing,”continuedXavier,“thepaintingsthatshowedtribesmenseveringheadsandholdingthemintheairasbloodgushedandveinsdangledfromtheseverednecks...”

Shastacringed.

Thosegristlyscenes,heexplained,were,intruth,proofofsuccessfulfullheadtransplants.

“Whitescientists,”theyoungmanhalf-shouted,“havetodenywhattheythemselvescan’treplicate!”

Nearthemayoungwomansteppeduptopeerintoashopwindow.Thecandlessproutingfromhercrownsettheshop’sstripedawningonfire.Notfaroff,anotheryoungwomansippedamochaatasidewalkcafe,unawarethathercandleswereslowlyignitingtheCinzanoumbrellaaboveherhead.

Xavierheldthecigarettelighterforhertotake.“Comewithme,”hedemanded.“Leavethesecrazygringostodestroythemselves.”

Itwastempting,andShastadefinitelyfelttempted.Herparentshadalreadyself-deportedtotheYucatanPeninsula.NottomentionthatXavierlookedalphamachohotwithjustenoughdirtsmudgedonhiship-huggingwhitejeansthattheydidn’treadasgay.HisgaybrotherhadprobablyskatedofftoGaysia.NowonderXavierwantedcompany.Hewassoalone.

Sheacceptedthelighterandsnappedopenherpurse.“I’msupposedtogivethesepastriestostrangers.”Shesunkthelighterintothesugarymuck.“It’saweirdritualthatgoeswithwearingacandlehat.”Shastawasstalling,notwantingtobreakXavier’sheart.ButshereallyneededtofindWalter.Toredirect,sheofferedtheopenpurse.“Here’sachocolateéclairthatdoesn’tlooktoomangled.”

Xaviergotthemessage.Hetookthedamagedéclair.Thewhippedcreambristledwithstrayhairs.Itsflakygoodnesswasfleckedwithpurselintandembeddedwithstraybreathmints.“Thanks,”hesighed.Helookedwoundedbutstillhighlydoable.

“Thankyouforlightingmycandle,”shesaidlamely.Sheturnedslowlyand,stepbycarefulstep,balancingherhalooffire,forcedherselftowalkaway.

Itwasanationaldisgrace.Nothinglessthanabadgeofshame,asfarasCharliesawit.Blacktopiahadonlyrecentlyannouncedasuccessfullaunchofitsnewflyingpyramid,basedonalong-forgottenantigravitytechnologysuppressedbyEurocentricinterests.AftercenturiesofwhitedenialtheblackshadproventhatpyramidsbuiltbytheEgyptianpharaohswereinfactflyingmachines.

WhilewhiteshadbeenhiringesteemedfilmdirectorStanleyKubricktodummyupconvincingmoonlandingfootageintheNewMexicodesert,theblackshadkepttheirownfunctionalmethodofspacetravelasecretfortencenturies.

Well,thesecretwasout.CharliecrouchedinfrontofthetelevisionandwatchednewsfootagebroadcastfromBlacktopia.ItclearlyshowedgargantuanCheops-sizedpyramidslevitatingoffthegroundatamilitaryinstallation.Theseimpossiblestoneshipsroseintoabluesky.Onegreatshiphadalreadylandedsafelyonthemoon,nearthesiteNASAhadclaimedastheirowninthefictionallate1960sstunt.Inamatterofdaysblackastronautswouldventureforthtoexplorethesite.They’dfindnoAmericanflag.Nogolfballsormoonbuggytiretracks.

ThewhiteethnostateofCaucasiateeteredonthebrinkoftotalhumiliation.

Todistracthimselffromtheinevitable,CharliecrackedopenacopyoftheTalbottbook.Hereadfromitevenwhilehishandlersenteredhisgreatthroneroomtopresentselectionsofcomelyyoungwomenwhohopedtobecomehisbride.

Thetelevisioncontinuedtogoadwithimagesofhugepyramidsfloatingaboveaprosperouslandscapepeopledbyproud,beautifulblacks.Theirdashikisflashedvividcolors.Theycarriedthemselves—men,women,andchildrenalike—withthepostureofnobility,withtheirspinesstraight,theirshouldersthrownback,asifeverycitizenwereanaristocrat.

HowTalbottReynoldsexplainedit,thesmartestmostdeterminedfactionofblackshadbeenonalaborstrikesince1600orthereabouts.TheideaofAdjustmentDayhadresidedwithinthemlikeaseedforgenerations.Tothisendthey’dpracticedtheirfiercenessbytargetingoneanother,knowingthoseinpowerwouldn’ttakenoteofabrotherwastingabrother.AccordingtoTalbott,whiteshadpracticedforAdjustmentDaywithschoolandworkplaceshootings.GayshadwastedgayswithAIDS.Thehomoswenttogymsandlearnedtodestroywiththeirbeauty.Allthefactionshadbeenbuildingacold-bloodedabilitytowardthefuturetakeover.

Iftheycouldacclimatetokillingtheirownbrothersandsisterswithouthesitationorremorse,surelytheycouldslaughtertheirmastersinpolitics,media,andacademia.Whenthetimecame,they’dceasekillingeachotherandturntheirrageoutward.

Thisin-groupcollateraldamagestokedeacharmy’sfurytowardthosesafe,insulated,so-calledleaderswho’dcometotheforebuoyedongoodspeechwritersandkissingbabies,butwho’dneverdemonstratedanyrealphysicalpowerintheworld.

Theopioid-addled,NASCARrubes...thegrill-grinning,thuggishblacks...thesex-crazedqueers...they’drehearsedforAdjustmentDayonsofttargetsintheirowncommunities,andnoonesuspectedanythingwouldmanifestbeyondthesein-groupkillings.Andthepracticetaughtblackstoshootbetter.Ittaughtthequeershowtosmiletheirwayhandsomelyintoanyone’strust.Anditschooledthewhitesaboutthepatternsofflightthatamassofterrifiedpeopleunderfirewilltake.

AsTalbottexplainedevents,theyweren’tafluke.AdjustmentDayhadcomeadaycloserwitheverydrive-byshooting,everyviraltransmission,everylettercarriergoingpostal.Oncethosegroupshadfullyshedtheirhumanity,itwasonlyinevitabletheydecimatetheirsharedoppressors.

Ontelevision,avast,flyingpyramidhoveredinthesunny,cloudlessskyabovethedancing,cheeringhordesofBlacktopia.Theirgoldjewelryflashed,asdidtheirsmilesofcompletejoyandunboundedpride.

Itfeltasifthewhiteracehadlostitsway.Itnolongerhadblacksandqueerstofeelsuperiortosoakeysourceofitspridewasgone.Whiteshadbeenlikeawealthyfamilywhoperformedanongoingpageantofmoralityandingenuitytoimpressahouseholdofidiotanddegenerateservants.Intheabsenceofqueersandblacks,Charlieandhisfellowwhiteshadlosttheirmotivationtolivesuperiorlives.Withoutunderlingstodazzle,thewhiteethnostateseemedtobefloundering.

Hemutedthetelevision’ssoundandwatchedthejubilant,dancingcitizensofBlacktopia.

Thewhiteracewaslikeafatherwho’dsurvivedhischildren.Hehadnoonearoundtoharangueorimpress.Noweak,flawedversionofhimselftolectureorrescue.Likeagodwho’dwatchedhislastcreationdie.Inthenew,neat,orderlyworldofthewhiteethnostate,whatdidthefuturehold?Thewhiteracehadmetitseverychallenge.Couldtheymakethegrassgreener?Makethetrainsrunmoreexactlyonschedule?

MomentslikethismadeAdjustmentDayfeellikeagiantstepbackward.Followingtheriskysocialexperimentsofthelastthreehundredyears,whitepeoplecouldonlyreturntoaworldofknightsandaristocrat,s.AfortressofNormanRockwell,Reader’sDigestprettiness.

AvoicewhisperedinCharlie’sear.Hismajordomoalertinghim,“Somefemaleguestsforyourreview,sir.”

Theheel-clicking,kowtowingflunkyfilledhimwithsickdisdain.Anymanwhohadn’ttakenpart,hands-on,inthebutcherysickenedCharlie.He’dmadehismark,Charliehadprovenhisvalor,andthatmeantfortherestofhislifeweakermenwouldavoidhim.Cowardswouldresentanddespisehisachievements.Hewouldexistaloneformostoftherestofhislife,withnonebuthisowncounsel,becausehistruepeerswerefew.That’swhatmadetheselectionoftheperfectmatesoall-firedimportant.Importantbuthardlyeasy.

Charliesetasidethebookandclickedtheremotetoresolvetheimagesontelevision.Hescarcelyneededtoturnhisheadtotakeinthesightofthenubileyoungfilliesbeingherdedin.Dressedinshort,pastelskirtsthatsuggestedEastereggs,theyfidgeted.Theirdoeeyestriedtocaptureandholdhisattention.Eyelashesbatted.Glisteninglipspursed.Somedrewdeepbreathsandthrustouttheirchests.Hewasn’tfooled.Howcouldtheyunderstandwhatitwastobeanythingbeyondbeingfemale?Theylivedsuchcorporeallives,notbelievinginanythingbeyondthevisible,thetangible,theopenlystated.

Amidthischaosofpreening,onedrewhisfocus.Oneamongthemstoodwitharegalstillness,herwillowylimbsmotionless,apotentialqueen.Herhoneyedhairpooledontheshouldersofherrichlyembroideredpeasantsmock.Charliecouldpictureherswingingascytheinfertilefieldsofgoldenwheat.Herloinswouldpushforthanewgenerationofgods.Charliewouldsireinherahordeofinventorsandartiststorevitalizethewhiterace.

Hestudiedherivoryarmsandthepear-shapedswellofeachinnocentbreast.Hersmallfeetwereotherwisebareinsimple,leathersandals.Herperiwinkleeyeshintedatadocile,animalintelligence.Charlieindicatedherwiththeslightestflickofhisfingertips,bidding,“Littleone...”

Atmost,sheappearedtobeonlyayearortwohisjunior.Usinghislordliestvoice,heinquired,“Howareyoucalled,girlchild?”

Forabreathshestaredback,speechless.Perhapsshe’dheardhow,forweeks,he’ddonelittlemorethanglanceattheparadeofprospectivewives.He’dyettospeakdirectlytoanyofthelegionsofattractivefemales.Hermutenessaddedtoherappeal,andCharliefelthissexexciteattheideaofhavinghersoon.

Whenshefailedtospeak,themajordomobrokein.“Sire,”themansaid,“hernameisShasta.”

Shasta.QueenShasta.

Shewouldbehis,Charlie’sperfectAryanconsort.

Fewthoughtsinhermindwereherown,livingonsodacrackersandginasshewas.MissJosephinedarednoteatthefoodArabellabroughtup.Sheassiduouslyflusheditinbite-sizedchunks,butonlylateatnightwhennoonewouldhear.Nightanddayshe’dtakentoleavingherlittletelevisionplay.Sheneededthecompany,despitehowitwasalwaysjustthatTalbottman.AccordingtohimthewhitefolksweregladtosurrenderJackson,Mississippi.JustasgladastheblacksweretoabandonDetroit.Hesaiditwasathree-hundred-yearembarrassmenttoethnoEuropeansthattheycouldn’ttilltheirriceplantationsorcuttheirowntobaccoorsugarcaneintheswelteringheat.Michiganamountedtolittlemorethansnowandrustedfenders.Whitesneededwinter,saidTalbott,neededanenforcedrest,otherwisetheywentcrazywiththeirlabors.Blacksdespisedtheridiculoussnow.

OnecouldpictureTalbott,aperformanceonpaperinhisbook,fullyincharacterassayingsuch.Instancesoflunaticinsight,MissJosephinecalledthem.Aninsanitythatpassesasthenewsanity.

HesaidsouthernwhiteshadbalkedatmigratingnorthimmediatelyaftertheWarofNorthernAggressionbecausetheydidn’twanttoprovetheNewYorkTimesright.TheyhadnobusinessinGeorgiaorMississippiorLouisiana.ButtotucktheirtailsandrelinquishtheSouthtoitsrightfuloccupantswouldbetoallowthesecondshoeofthewartofinallydrop.EthnoEuropeanswouldn’tmissthoselandscapesofkudzuandwatermoccasins.ToretainFloridawastoposesmilingwithadeadbody,thebodyofaninfantdaughterwearingalacechristeninggownandatinypearlnecklaceandtopretendthatgirlwouldsomedaycomebacktohealth.Floridawasdeathtowhitepeople.

AsifhespokedirectlytoMissJosephine,Talbottwaxedeloquentconcerningthemiasmasandtheswampland’sconstantpulltowarddecayandcorruption.NothingonEarthcouldsustainthewhitesoftheSouthexcepttheirownScots-Irishobstinacy.Malignantbreezesandthesteamingevergladesofferedwhitesnothingexceptskincancerandmalaria.IntheNorth,citieslikeChicagoandPhiladelphiaafflictedblackswithvitaminDdeficiencies,malnutrition,andfrostbite.

MissJosephine,perchedonhighinthiscrampedsuiteofrooms,roomscrowdedasajunkshopwitheverysilvercupandtrophy,everydiploma,diary,memory,andfamilyBible,shewasthebrainofthings.Asentryinanisolatedoutpost.Thespirit,spiritedupstairs,amongthespiritsofthecellar’swealth,she’dorderedtheentireinventoryofbrandyandMaderaportinterredwithherforsafekeeping.Thecasesofit,smuggledbyblockaderunnersduringthewarforseccession.

Adrunken,fleetingimpulsedawneduponMissJo.Shecouldburnthesetreasures.Thepastrestedinherhandsasastewardoranexecutioner.Shecouldburnthishouseandalltheflawedrelicswithinit.

Charlieknewwhattheproblemwas.Yousee,thewhiteracehadlearnedtosublimateitssexualimpulses.Ithadlearnedtodelaygratificationandtoinventelectriclightsandmammogramsandbotanyinsteadofjustjerkingofftopornorpolingeveryskankwhoneededit.Theresultwasthatwhitepeople,mostlywhitemen,inallhonesty,hadcreatedtechnologyandgottenthekudosofaperfectcivilizationwherestuffworked.Troublecamewhenotherracesdidn’tsublimateliketheyoughtto,theyjustkeptonrailingeverypieceofsnatch,AIDSornot,herpesornot,andkeptcrankingoutthebabies.Yousee,thewhitemenhadtradedbabiesforthepatentoneverythinggoodandtheroyalties,whichwereconsiderable,exceptthewhitemanhadneglectedthebigrace.Thepopulationrace.That’showCharliesawthesituation.Seeinghowthewhitemanwassobusynotfuckingthathehadenergyleftovertoinventsolarenergy.Butthislefthimlosingthereins.It’sallinStoddard.Yousee,technologyandbabiesalwaysseekabalancethroughouthistory.Whentechnologygotahead,babiesfelloff.Andwhenbabiesgotahead,thencivilizationfellbehind.Rightnowmankind’sprogresswasabouttogetswallowedinaseaofotherpeople’sbabies,andthatmeantgivingupvulcanizedrubberandreverseosmosisbecausetherewouldn’tbethesmartpeopleneededtorunthosesegmentsofsociety.

Ifwhitepeoplecouldslackoff.Iftheycouldjusttakeabreakfromanodizingeverythingandmaybejustnailsomepussy,thencivilizationwouldhaveachance.Notthatwhitewomenweremuchhelp.No,theywereonlyjustgettingtheirfeetwetwithinventingX-raysandeBay,andtheyobviouslydidnotsavortheideaofgivinguppublicaccoladesandputtingtheirlegsintheair.That’swhyAdjustmentDayhadgonedown.Itwouldgivethefewremainingalphastudsthechancetoboostwhitenumbers.ItwouldremovethetemptationofWomen’sStudiesdegreesandotherhorseshitthatbaitedladiestolettheirpreciousAryaneggsdryup.

AdjustmentDaygavemenlikeCharlie,withloadsofspermandnotthebestgraspofCalculusII,theopportunitytocatchupthegameforthewhiteteam.

Simpleasthat.

Dawsonhadn’tthehearttocutoffthewoman’sear.Itdidn’tmatterhowmuchshe’dbegged.She’dfinallysnatchedupthecarpetcutterandbegantodoitherself,thengaveupintears.

Shekneltthereinthedustathisfeet.Standingoverher,hecouldseethetopofherrightearwascrustedwithdriedblood.Apparentlyshe’dtried,likelyseveraltimes,tosliceofftheearbyherself.

DetailfolloweddetailaboutherAdjustmentDay.First,despiteherrequestthatstudentssilencetheirphones,aphonebegantosoundanalarm.Anotherjoinedit.Achorusofphonesweremarkingthesamemoment.Beepsandsqueaksanddogbarks,acacophony.Anditwasn’tasifasmatteringofstudentsinthehugeauditoriumreachedintotheirHelloKittyandG.I.Joebackpacksandproducedguns.Theprofessorandherteamofgraduateassistantslookedoninconfusionaseveryhandreacheddownalongsideadesk.Adeafeningchorusofcountlesszippersroared.Everystudentsatupright,extendinganarm,andgrippedineveryraisedhandwasafirearm.

“Itlooked,”shesaid,hervoicefaltering.Oneofhertremblinghandsflailedintheair.“Aforestofblackstickswerepointingatus.”Theshortbarrelsofpistols,thelongerbarrelsofriflesandshotguns,andinbetweenwerethemuzzlesofrevolvers.

Theblacksticksbelchedfire,awallofmuzzleflashandsmoke,thesmellofblackpowder,andagraduatestudentcrashedtothestagewithtwothuds.Shecouldhearnothingafterthefirstblast.

Thegraduatestudentdraggedhimselftowardher.Hislegsremainedwherethey’dfallen,buthistorsoandarmsdraggedthemselvespatheticallytowardsafety,dragginghisravagedbowelslikegreasyfringebehindhim.He’d,crawledhiswaynearwhereshecrouchedbehindthepodium.Bulletsandblastsofbuckshotexplodedthescreenbehindthemandpunchedholesintheplasterwalls.

Theonlysoundwastheconstantfiring.Shecouldn’thearifhe’dactuallysaidthewords,butasthegraduatestudentextendedhisblue,dying,alreadydeadhandtowardher,hisdeadman’slipsformedthewords,“Helpme...”

Aroundher,herpreciousteamofadjunctprofessors,theteamshe’dcarefullyhandpickedandspentyearsassemblingandrecruitingfromotherinstitutions,theywerefloppinglikebeacheddolphins,mangledbeyondanythingalivebutkeptleapinglikepuppetsandobscenelyjerkingasordinanceslammedintotheircorpses.

She’driskedreachingoutfrombehindthepodium.Herfingerslacedthemselvesbetweentheboy’sicyfingersandshedraggedhissoddenbulktosafety.Hisheadrestingonherlap,helookedtobe

asleep.

Dawsonclenchedhisjawtokeephimselffromaskingthegraduatestudent’sname.

NowwithDawson,thewomannolongersobbing,shelookedatthegroundmorosely,muttering,“Onlydaysshyofcompletinghisdoctoralthesisongenderfluidity...”Herentirebodyseemedtoconvulsewiththeemotionalpain.“Justbecausehemadesomeundergradsreadbellhooks!”

Theypromenadedthroughhisgardens,Charlieandhisbride-to-be.IdlingamongtheancientRomanbirdbathsandclassicalHellenisticlawnornamentsrequisitionedfromleadingmuseumsthroughouttheformerlyunitedstates.HepointedoutaBabyloniangardenornamenthefoundwhentheysackedtheGetty.Hopingtoimpressher,hecalledherattentiontoamessofyellowpetuniasplantedinaMesopotamiancarved-stonethinghegotattheNationalMuseuminWashington,D.C.Peacocksparadedtheirglory,buttheywerenothingcomparedtoShasta.

Dulyimpressed,she’dlookedatthemillion-year-oldEgyptianstatueofsomelady.CharliehadhisteampaintitKellygreentomatchhisnewlawnfurniture.Shastasawitandsaid,“Neat-o.”

Hewantedtoshowherthebossstuffhe’dscoredfromtheArtInstituteofChicago.Reallyoldstuff.Stuffhehopedshe’dlike,too.Thecourtshipscreeningwasjustaboutcomplete.Theystillneededhergenetictesttoproveshewasofficiallywhite,butthatwasjustaformality.Onelookandheknewshewaswhite.Theclearskymight’vebeenmodeledafterherperiwinkleblueeyes.Birdsongcouldnotcompetewithherlaugh.Suchaninnocentshewas,sosweet,sonaïve.ShestillbelievedinglobalwarmingandtheHolocaust.

Charliesuspectedhewasear-rapingher,buthewasnervous.Hecouldn’tstoptalking.

Hemadeherstandandadmirethebigcandleholdershe’dpickedupatsomechurchoranotheronFifthAvenue.Solidgoldorsomethingsoitwasokaytouseoutdoors,year-round.Hemadehersquatdown,putherhandsaroundone,andtrytoliftittoseehowheavy.Shecouldn’t.

“Prettycool,”sheagreed.

Newjunkwasarrivingdaily.MoreolddustcatchersfromtheGetty,stufffromtheMetropolitanMuseumofArtinNewYork,even.Acrewofguysdidnothingbutunpackthecratesandtrytofindspotstostickeverything.

Astheystrolled,hetriedtoimpressuponherthedifficultiesofhislife.Livingasanaristocrattooksomegettingusedto.Like,allthelivesthathungonhiseveryutterance.Nottomentiontherichfoodomnipotentmogulswereexpectedtoeat.Thismorning,forinstance,hefeltpositivelypoop-rapedbyhismorningbowelmovement.

Thustheirformalcourtshiphadbegun,andwithitShasta’seducation.AndCharliereadtoherpassagesfromthebookofTalbott.Slowly,hereadthatawomandecidesearlywhethertolovethesoulwithinherwomb,ortodiscardit.Oncethatbellychildisbirthednaturally,beitblackorbrownorAsian,shecan’thelpbutfeelloveandprideforit.Animpulsethatexplainedsomuchofwomen’sartwork.

Onthecontrary,awhitemanmustfindthenewborntobeahealthyfacsimileofhimselfbeforehelovesit.Forwhitemenaresoconstantlyundersiege,besetbycorruptideasandthedegradingeffortsoflesserraces,thatthewhitemanmustbecertainhisoffspringwillbehisloyalally.

Inthegloriousnewworld,Charlieassuredher,allchildrenwouldhavevalue.Notevenahomosexualchildwasworthless.Onceitreachedtheageofdeclarationitcouldbeexchangedforaninnocentboyorgirlheterosexualraisedbymistakeincaptivitybyhomosexuals.

Asminstrelsserenadedthemonlyresandpipesindaisy-densefields,CharliereadaloudtoherfromtheTalbottbook:

Godalonecancreateanythingnew.Wecanonlyrecognizepatterns,identifytheunseen,andcombinethingstocreateslightvariations.

Heread:

AdjustmentDaywasbroughtaboutbytheresolutionofresolution.

AsperTalbott,technologyandmoralityhavecreatedaclimatewherenothingshortofdeathresolvesanything.FeudsliveeternallyontheInternet.Noonecanescapeanymomentofhispast.Nothingisforgotten.Conversely,menhaveadaptedtoacceptshameandhumiliationasapassing

obstacle.Nopublicfigure,nomatterhowexposedandrevealedtobeadegenerate,leavesthepubliceyeforlong.Therewasnoclosureinclosure.AdjustmentDayoccurredtoresolvethefactthatnothingcouldberesolved.

Ontheradio,Talbottreadthenews:“TheunifiedcouncilofthelineagesreportthatthebodyofthePresidentoftheformerlyunitedstateshasnotbeenrecovered.HehasbeenmissingsinceAdjustmentDay,andofficialsareinvestigatingthepossibilitythathefledthegovernment,assistedbyagentsofaforeignpower.

“Lineagespokesmenreportthatabombhasbeendetonatedinacrowdedpublicstreetinthewhiteethnostate...InBlacktopia...inGaysia...andtwopersons...sixpersons...eighteenpersonsarebelievedtobekilledasaresult.

“Terroristsworkinginleaguewiththeformerpresidenthaveclaimedresponsibilityforthegasattack...arson...actsofsabotage...Citizenswithinformationaboutthesecrimesshouldcontactalineagerepresentativeimmediately.”

Astheblue-blackbookpredicted:

Duringtimesofgreatestmoralandethicalcrisispeoplewillsidewiththosenobleleaderswhopossessthegreatestnumberofguns.

AsTalbotthadforeseen,aformofStockholmsyndrometookhold.Peopleacceptedthenewleadersbecausepeoplewantedleadersandtheformerweredead.Thedetailsofwhowouldrunthegovernmentweresecondarytotheeverydaydetailsoftheirownlives.Providingfortheirchildren,forexample.Orcompletingtheirworkoreducation.Orfindingamate.Thosepersonswhostoodtobemostaffectedbytheimpendingwarfeltarushofrelief.Thecitizenrywasaccustomedtoadaptingtothegovernment’sdemands.Theexactnatureofthegovernmentwasoflessconsequence.

Naturally,manywereoffendedbytheviolentmeanstaken,butnoonesomuchthathewantedtothrowawayhisownlifeinprotest.Thedeadweredead.

Eachpersonhadbeengiftedwithadollopofintelligence.Eachdollopmetandsharedwithothers.AsperTalbott,oursoulsclinguntoourbodiesthewaynon-swimmersgriptheedgeofaswimmingpool.

Planescrisscrossedthesky.Eachplaneloadapopulationbeingrelocatedtotheirappropriatehomeland.Theyoungamongthemhappytotakepartinthelargestsocialimprovementinmodernhistory.Theolder,defeated.Householdswerepackedandshipped.Thosesurrenderingtheirpropertyhadgoneonlineandselectedanavailablehomeofequalvaluefromamongthoseforfeitedbyotherrelocatedpopulations.Inairports,familieskepttheirchildrencloseandstudiedthephotosontheirphones,thevideotoursofhomes,farms,andapartmentsforwhichtheyqualified.

Tocallthisasocialexperimentwasincorrect.Itwouldneverbeallowedtofail.Thoseinvolvedmustmakeitasuccess.

Ahundredyearspastmidnight,Deliciousandherhusbandlingeredineachother’sarmsafteraconjugalvisitinabusstationtoiletstall.

“TheycallJarvisan‘UncleTomofFinland,’”saidGentry.

Deliciousasked,“What’sthatmean?”

Gentryshruggedandshookhishead.“Somethingabouttoomanymuscles,”hesaid.“It’snotacompliment.”Hegazeddownamomenttoolong,studyingthemuckonthetoiletstallfloor.Heasked,“IsthataPercocet?”

DeliciouswantedtoaskifheandJarvisfucked.Menwouldfuckmud.Butshedidn’twantthewronganswersoshekeptsilent.

Perhapswhiteshadsuspected.Inrecentyearswhitepopularculturehadstumbledperilouslyclosetodiscoveringtheimmensewisdomandpowerblackshadlongconcealed.Whiteshadimbuedthefictionalcharacteroftheso-calledmagicnegrowithpsychictalentsandspiritualabilitiesthathintedattheimmensegiftsblacksactuallyheldincheck.ButwiththeadventofBlacktopiaatlastthesisterswho’dactedthepartsofbasedcrackheadsandmorbidlyobesewelfarecheats,goingsofarastogluewhitewomen’shairtotheirownheadsinamockeryofwhitebeautystandardsthattheself-centeredwhitebuffoonstooktobeacompliment,theseregalblacksisterscouldfinallycastofftheirFalstaffianrolesandtaketheirrightfulplaceasunstoppablehealersandknowersofgreat

cosmictruths.

Inkeepingwiththeirbirthright,BlacktopiansstrodelanguidlythebroadavenuesoftheirEarth-friendlycities.Theirlonglimbsglowing.Theirwomen,willowyandglossywithconfidentwisdom.Immaculatespiresjuttedgracefullyintotheclearskies,defyingtheStoneAgephysicsofthebackwardwhiteman.

Blacksdidn’tsomuchsaunterastheyglidedincontinuousmovement.TheirswerenotthejerkingstepstakenbycitizensofCaucasia.Thewhiteman’slanguagehadnowordsformovementthisfluid,smoothedbeyondsmooth.Moresowitheachsuchshortcoming,thewhitelanguagewasfallingbythewaysideandBlacktopiaresurrecteditsownancienttongue.

Whereaswhitehistorywaswritteninwords,blackhistorywaswritteninmelodies.

Brothersshruggedoffthemantleofviolentpsychotickillers,characterizationssobroadandcoarsethatonlythecrudewhiteswereeverfooled.Ithadbecomeaninsidejoke:Howoutlandishlycouldthebrothersbehave?Howfarcouldtheypushwiththeirmusicbeforethewhiteoppressorsmightbegintowonderifthewholeperformancewasfortheirbenefit?

Iftheyspokeloudlyandlaughedlouderitwastohidethetruththatmostoftheircommunicationwithoneanothertookplacethroughmentaltelepathy.

Freetoassumetheirlegacyaslearnedshamans,thebrothersgleefullyshedtheirbrimmedcapsandknottedkerchiefs,redandbluetrappingsoftheirpretendgangaffiliations.Theylaughedafinalgood-byetotheslipperyEbonicswithwhichthey’dhiddentheirgeniusfromthewhiteman.Maskedbythosecodedwordsweretheformulasforalchemizingpreciousdiamondsfromsand,andthenewlyfreedbrotherscalledforthmassquantitiesofdiamonds,andmanifestedalikebulkofrubiesandflawlessemeralds,andfashionedthetotalofthesejewelstocreateimmensepalacesthatcaughtthesunlightandblazedwithinlikeheavenlyrainbowsthelikesofwhichthewhiteman’spunystained-glasscathedralwindowscouldneverapproach.

InBlacktopiathepeoplecontinuedtosingtheirpraisetotheEarth,andingratitudediamondssproutedthroughtheground,thesizeofskyscrapers,andlancedthecloudslikeminarets.Andmoltengoldbubbledupandhardenedinstantlytoformdomedpalacestohousethefaithful.

Shelteredinthisparadiseofcolor,theblacksretookthedestinythathadbeenwithheldfromthemunderwhiterule.Forthefirsttimeinrecordedhistory,blackeffortswouldbenefitonlyblacksandnotlinethecoffersofanenemy.AndthecitiesknownasAtlantaandBirminghamandMiami,whitecitiesall,theywerelaidwasteto,andthemajesticblacks,theirmuscularbacksgleamingwithcleansweat,theysangintoexistenceglorioustemplestohonortheirpredecessors,andtheseedificesexcitedtheskylinewithshapestooastoundingforwhitestoenvision,andwithinthesemammothvillasthebrothersandthesisterslivedinperfectaccordwithallanimals,inimpeccableharmonywithnatureandthespiritworld.

ThefewwhitesallowedtoseteyesuponthewondersofBlacktopia,theyretreatedinweepingawe.Andtopreservetheirstubborn,cavemanfantasyofsuperiority,thesewhitemenloudlyandvehementlyclaimedthejeweledpalacesandinterplanetaryflyingpyramidswereliesandoutrightillusions.AndwhenthesistershaderadicatedallformsofcancerfromBlacktopia,jealouswhitesdemandedproof,butwhatproofcanbeprovidedofwhatdoesnotexist?ForintheirwisdomthesistershadsourcedtheagelessspiritsandenlistedthosehauntstobanishcancerandAIDSandherpesuntilnotasingleblackwasafflicted.

Andwhilethewhitesstrivedtoincreasetheirnumbers,whitescienceandtechnologystalled.AndcertainwhiteswerenotaboveinfiltratingBlacktopiatoplunderitsbrilliance.Forwhitescienceandmathematicshadbeenharnessedonlytobuildatomicbombswhileblackintellectyielded,daily,newwondersthatenrichedlife,especiallythelivesofwomen,forBlacktopiahelditssistersasitsgreatesttreasure.

AndfollowingthepatternofwhitemensuchasjournalistJohnGriffin,whodarkenedhisfacewithmethoxsalenandultravioletlightandslitheredforthtoappropriateblackachievementandblackexperienceandpresentitashisowninthebookBlackLikeMe,andindoingsomakehisfortune...inthesameway,whitemenofCaucasiamaskedthemselvesandwormedtheirwayacrosstheborder.

Suchfolly!Forthewhitesknewonlytomimictheridiculouselaboratehandshakesandsaggy-pantsgibberishspeaktheblackshadaffected,andthebrothersrecognizedatoncetheseshufflingimposters.Would-bethieves,thesesquabbling,gun-waving,hip-shaking,crotch-grabbingcrackersinblackface,theywerehumoredandledtobelievethey’dsuccessfullyinfiltratedBlacktopia.There,

thebrothersschooledthemtopartakeoftheirownurineasasupposedcureforcancer,andthewould-beculturalthievesranhome,andprettymuchallwhitesadoptedthepractice.

Theinstructionsheetspecifiedmachine-washableonlyanddurability.Gavynpulledthedrycleaner’splasticoffhisfavoriteSandshirtandundidthebuttons.Heloopeditoffthehanger.Sotailored.Theorangesandredssosaturated.He’dwornittwice,afraidhemightstainitorthatthecolorswouldfade.Holdingthecollartuckedunderhischin,hefoldedtheshirtagainsthischest,matchingthesleeves.Hefoldedthefoldedshirtasecondtimeandathirdtomakeasmoothneatpacketheplacedintotheemptysuitcaseonhisbed.

Avoice.Nothismother’s.Hissister,Charm,said,“That’ssonot-the-rightshirt.”Shestoodleaningsidewaysinhisdoorway,herarmscrossed.Charmheldupastop-signhandtohushanybacktalk.Shewenttotheopenclosetandhershouldersslumpedinresignation.Thearrayofretrocowboyshirtswithpearlizedsnaps.TheDolceknock-offpulloverswithmetalicizeddetailing.VintageVersace.BeforeherwasthetrousseauGavynhadbuiltforhisadultlife.Hishomosexualhopechest,asitwere.

Hissisterpluckedatthefrontofherownarmysurplusuniformshirt.“Thiswillwearlikeiron.”Olivedrab.Untucked,thetailshunghalfwaytothekneesofherbluejeans.Theclosestthingshecouldfindinhisclosetwasathriftstoreshirtofcanvas-likekhaki-greenmaterialenlivenedwithembroideredpatches.AsecondhandBoyScoutuniformcompletewithEagleScoutbadge.

Gavynprotested,“It’spermanentpress.”

CharmtossedasidetheSandshirtandreplaceditwiththekhaki.“It’snotafashionshow,”shesaid.“It’saconcentrationcamp.”

TheTalbottbookcalledtheplaceanInventoryRetentionCenter.Untilrecently,untilAdjustmentDay,theparticularonewhereGavynhadbeenassignedhadbeenalow-securityprison.

TheyearofInitialRelocationneareditsend.Thosebornintothewronghomeland—homosexualsborntoheterosexuals,orthosewithaninappropriatepreponderanceofsub-SaharanorCaucasoidDNA—they’dbesurrenderedbytheirsourcefamilies,togovernmentcustodyuntilalikemis-birthintheappropriatehomelandcouldbeidentifiedforexchange.SomewhereinGaysia,Godwilling,aneighteen-year-oldheterosexualwaspackingasuitcase,headedforasimilarholdingcamp.Afteralmosttwodecadesofbeingfed,dressed,andeducated,Gavynandhisilkrepresentedtoobigofaninvestmenttobeleftunattended.IftheyattemptedtoemigrateillegallyorescapetoCanadaortocommitsuicide,thenationstoodtoloseasizableexportcommodity.

Hewondered,idly,iftherewasanundergroundrailroadtoallowmis-birthsamorespeedypathtotheirrightfulhomeland.Tosidestepthenormalwaitforasuitablecandidatefortheexchange.Asystemofsafehouses.Humantraffickers.Maybethereexistedcoyoteshecouldpaytoguidehimthroughtheborderlands.

CharmpulledoutthetopdrawerofthebureauanddugamongGavyn’ssocks.Ofthesesheselectedtwopairsdarkblue,threeblack,apairplaingreen,andsixpairsofwhitesweatsocks.Tuckingthemintothesuitcase,shesaid,“Atleastyou’renotbaby-makingmachineryforsomechieftain.”

Fatchanceshe’dendupachieftain’swife,notwithhersunburnedfaceandcroppedhair.Anotherreasonhewassurrenderingforretentionandexport.Ifanequivalenttradewasn’tavailable,theacceptinghomelandwouldhavetopayupwardsofahalfmillionTalbottsincompensation.Gavyn’sparentscouldusethemoney.EvenCharmhadtoknowthat.Theycouldbuyabusiness,asmallfarm,seedcorn,livestock,allthestaplesthey’dneedtobeself-sufficientintheneweconomy.Otherwise,they’dbecomelikealltheirfellowformer-white-collar,former-information-technology,former-paper-pushingprofessionals:Tosurvivethey’dneedtosubmitthemselvesasserfstoalocalchieftain.

Othersmighthightailitfortheborder.Orsuckdeathfromthetailpipeinaclosedgarage.Butwithsomepatience,Gavynfiguredthiscouldendasawin-win.He’dassimilateinGaysia,andhissourcefamilywouldowntheirlivelihoodandtheirfreedom.

Hissisterkneltbesidethebedandreachedunderneath,pullingouttennisshoesandloafers.Apairofeachshebaggedinplasticgrocerysacksandnestledintothesuitcasebesideafoldedpairofcargoshortsshe’dselected.ShortsGavynhated.Thesesatontopofcamopantsshe’drecommendedbecausethey’dnevershowstains.Sandwichedbetweenthese,sheplacedaplasticTupperwareboxcontaininghistoothbrush,hisrazor,toothpaste,andcomb.HisSandshirt,beautifulandimpracticalinallitsorangeplaidglory,layonthebedwhereshe’drelegatedit.

Whathissistersaidnext,hedidn’tcatch.

“Iasked,”Charmrepeated,“didyouhearaboutthatguy,Walter?”

Gavynlookedaroundhisroomforalong,lasttime.“Walterwho?”

Sheprompted,“WhousedtogowithShastafromschool?”

Heshookhishead.“Why?”

Hissisterlookedatthespaceremaininginthesuitcase.Shepulledaheavywoolsweaterandalightercottononefromthetopshelfofthecloset.Thesesheballedupandpacked.BackatthebureausheignoredtheAndrewChristianmicrofiber,stylized,butt-baringathleticsupportersinfavorofhisold-schoolY-fronttightywhities.Sherolledupabaggypairofdrawstringshortsshesaidcoulddodoubledutyasswimwear.

Sheaskedsomething.

Gavynasked,“Again?”

Lightly,asifhewereonlygoingofftosummercampfortherestofhislife,hissisterasked,“Missme?”

Hetoldhimselftherewouldbebetterclothes,bettereverythinginhisfuture,betterthaneverythinghe’dbeforcedtoleavebehind.Clothesandloveenoughhe’dnevergiveasecondthoughttothepatheticwardrobehe’dboughtwithhislawn-mowinganddog-walkingwages.Outthere,somewhere,wasalovethatwouldmakehimforgethissisterandhissourceparents.

Thesuitcasefilled,Charmsaid,“Don’tworry.Itwillbefun.”Shesaid,“Whoknows?”Butitwasonlyhermouthsayingit.

Hecaughtsightofherinthemirroroverhisbureau.Ashisbackwasturned,shesecretivelyliftedthebeautifulorange-plaidshirtandtuckeditbeneathallthepracticallong-lastingdenimandcanvas.Sheclosedthesuitcaseandzippereditshut.

Asthehousekeepercoiledstrandsofhairintotightpincurls,MissJosephineleanedforwardoveranopenbook.Heavyinherlaplayafly-speckedcopyofGonewiththeWind,andashereyesscannedMargaretMitchell’sdialog,MissJosephine’slipssilentlymouthedthedialecticpatois.Herlipsstungasshepressedthemwithcoarsegrainsofrocksalt.Herlipsstungandswelleduntilthey’dbeguntosplitandshecouldtastethebloodmixedwithsaltonhertongue.

Onthesurfaceofthevanityinfrontofhersatherdentures.Theteethalmostglowedwithcoatuponcoatofpearlizedwhitefingernailpolish.Inthedark,totaldarkness,theywouldglowduetothephosphorescentdyesMissJohadaddedtothepolish.

Beyondthebook,theimageshesawinthemirrordelightedher.Methoxsalen,likeJohnGriffinusedwhenwritingBlackLikeMe,ithadworkeditsmagic.JustasithadforthatSprigleman,thereporterwho’dtakenmassivedosesofthedrugin1948andtouredtheSouthtowritehisbookIntheLandofJimCrow.Nottobeoutdone,thereporterGraceHalsellhadgoneblackfacetowriteherowntomein1969,SoulSister.NosyAmericannewshoundswerealwaysblackingupandwritingabouttheirmadcapadventures.

Notthatthey’dinventedthetrick.AlJolsonin1927.FreemanGosdenandCharlesCorrellasAmos’n’Andyin1928.JudyGarlandasearlyas1938’sEverybodySing,thenagainwithMickeyRooneyin1941forBabesonBroadway.Allittookwasthirtymilligramsofmethoxsalen,followedbytimeunderasunlamp.EvennowultravioletlightsshoneonMissJofromeachofseveraldifferentangles,evenlyexposingherbarearms,herlegs,neck,andfaceassheperspireddaintilyinherlacechemise.,

Thesideeffectsmightincludeheadaches,dizziness,insomnia,andnausea,butthathadn’tstoppedthelovelyAvaGardnerfromplayingabeautifulblacksireninShowBoat.NorhadpossiblekidneydamagedissuadedJeanneCrainfrombecomingaprettyblackgirlchildin1949’slandmarkfilmPinky.Aslateas1965,LaurenceOlivierhadriskedhishealthtoplaytheblackOthello.Liverdamagewasathreatwithmethoxsalen,aswascancer.EvennowMissJosephine’sheadswam.Hervisionblurred.Butthesewereasmallpricetopayforamiracledrugthatallowedwhitepeopletobecomeblackpeople.

NotthatArabellaunderstood.Thesillywomanyankedonanotherstrandofhairandtwisteditaroundabobbypin.Mostofthehairlaytightagainstherscalpinsimilarlittleknots.Forthenext

step,thehousekeeperwouldapplythepermsolution.She’dwaitjustalittletoolongbeforeapplyingthestoppingagent.She’dusepineapplejuicebecauseitofferedtheperfectacidity.Bywaitingasmidgentoolong,they’dburnthehairamite.Afterthepinswereout,onceMissJofluffedthekinked,tightlycurledhair,itwouldstandaroundherfacelikealushonyxhalo.Dyedofcourse.

Betweenthepainofherhairbeingpulledat,andthequeasinessinhertummy,hersalted,swelled-uplipsandhersweatyskin,MissJostruggledtopronouncetheantiquatedtalkjustasMitchellhadwrittenit.ThereflectionthatstaredbackfromhervanitymirrorhardlyresembledAvaGardner’senchantingcharacterJulieLaVerne,butthatnewlymintedpersonwouldbeMissJo’sescapefromthestrainofhercurrenttenuouscircumstance.

ExactlyasTalbottReynoldshadasked,Walterhadlaunchedthelistonline.First,peoplehadjokedaboutit.No,firstthey’dignoredit.Onlyafterthey’dnoticed,thenthey’dridiculedthesite.Onceithadgarneredafewmillionpostings,somepeoplehadtakenoffenseanddemandeditbebanned.Thesehadbeenmostlythepeoplewhosenamesdrewthemostvotes,thepoliticiansandacademicsandmediacelebrities.Walterhadsatinthebasementoftheabandonedhouseandrefreshedhisscreeneveryhour,andmarveledattheresponse.

He’daskedTalbott,“Howdowemonetize?”He’dhadinmindbuyinghouses,thebigschemehe’ddreamtuptoseduceShasta.

Talbott,asalwaystiedtoachair,Talbottwoozywithbloodlossanddappledwithscabsandrazorbladescars,he’dsaid,“Writedownthesenames...”Ashisinfectedcutsdrained,he’dproceededtorattleoffadozennamesthatWalterhadhurriedlyscribbledonhispad.“Searchonline,”Talbotthadcommanded.“Contacteachman.”

Walterperusedthelist.“Thiswillmakemerich?”

Feverish,glassyeyed,Walter’snewoldmanhadasked,“You?Ishouldmakeyourich?”

WalterhadhitRefreshandtriedtohidehisannoyance.He’dconsideredaddingTalbott’snametothelist.Nowhe’dhavetohuntdownthesedozenmenandmostlikelycontactthem.Lately,Talbotthadseemedtobebaitinghim.Thisentireschememight’vebeentheoldman’ssnipehunt.

Theoldmanhadrallied.“Tomakeyourfortune,”he’dadvised,“buyfakefur.”

Walterhadrepeated,“Fake?”

Theoldmanhadnoddedgravely.“Fur...Naugahyde,”he’dintoned,“Pleather,too.”Hisheadhadsettledtooneside,asleep.

WalterhadhitRefresh.

Amusicianfollowedthematadistance,pipingasoftmelodyonarecorder.AnarrayofpeacocksfannedtheairwiththeirexotictailsasShastastrolledpast,herarmdelicatelylinkedwithCharlie’s.Thegardensfellawayoneveryside,plantedinelaboratepatternsoffennelandasparagus.Thematterofhersalivahadreareditsuglyhead,yetagain.Intheoldentimes,priortoAdjustmentDay,boyshadpressuredherforfellatio.Charlieonlybulliedherforageneticsampletoproveherethnicity.She’dbeenputtinghimoffforweeks,placatinghimwithoralsexandfetishisticnursecostumes,buttodayhe’dfallenintoasullenpout.

Astheywalked,theirsilencebrokenonlybytherecorderandthefrequentscreamsofpeacocks,theansweroccurredtoher.Agirlshe’dknownincollege.AfreespiritShastahadallbutforgotten:Charm.

Agirllikenoneother.OnlyCharmwasCharm.

InWorldMythologies,Dr.BrollyhadtaughtthemancientGreeklegendsofBellerophon,theherowho’dtamedtheflyinghorse,Pegasus.He’dbattledanddefeatedtheall-girllegionsoftheAmazons,andhe’dslaughteredthedragon,Chimaera.Undefeated,he’dbadethegodPoseidontofloodthenationofXanthus,butthewomenfolkofXanthushadconfrontedtheapproachingwaves.Theseenterprisingfemaleshadliftedtheirskirtsandfacedtheoceanwithgirlpartsfullybared.

Crossculturally,fromEuropetoIndonesiaandSouthAmerica,theancientworldhadbelievedthatexposedpussieswouldalwaysfrightenawayevil.Upuntiltheeighteenthcentury,abovethedoorwaysandgatewaysofcastlesandchurches,masonshadcarvedimagesofwomensquattingtorevealthemselves.NeitherSatannoranyevilcouldendurethesightofthefemalesexorgans,itwassaid.

ConfrontedbyallthevaginasofXanthus,thetidesrecededinfear.Thewavesretreated,andBellerophonmetdefeat.EventheflyingPegasushadfreakedoutandboltedaway.

WalkingarminarmwithCharlie,Shastareflectedonwhathadhappenednotlongafterthatstudymoduleontheancientworld.

Charmhadapparentlytakenthelessontoheart.BackinthoseweeksbeforeAdjustmentDay,whenthedoomedsurplusmalesoftheyouthbulgehadcomecourting,she’dputherrecenteducationtogooduse.Theboysvarsitylacrosseteamhad,ononeoccasion,encircledherinanotherwisedesertedhallway.Playfully,theaggressiveteenshadendeavoredtomouthherbreaststhroughhersweater,andtogooseherwiththeirmechanicalpencils.Ratherthanpitythemasimminentcannonfodder,Charmhadreadilyappliedtheteachingsofantiquity.

Asthey’ddancedaroundher,Charmhadsimplyliftedthefrontofherskimpycheerleaderskirt.Unmaskedbyunderclothes,ithadbeenfullyexposed:Hervulva.Weanedonthetamehairlessvaginasofpornography,theyoungmenhadrecoiledinterror.AsachargingarmyofhairyvaginashadspookedthewingedstallionPegasus,Charm’shirsutesexualcenterhadshockedthosewould-besuitors.Astheirjeeringhadfallensilent,she’dclenchedherbuttocks,thrustinghersexatthemlikeadeadlysaber.Panicked,they’dtoppledbackward.They’dscrambledtotheirfeetandfled,butevenasthey’dracedinretreatCharmhadkeptherskirtraisedandchargedthemwithherthrustingstrawberryblondepubichair,somuchliketheruffaroundthedevouringmouthofaferociousAfricanlion.Asiftoaddtothisimpressionsheemittedsnarlsandroarsasifthepussyitselfhadsuddenlyfounditsownsavagevoice.

Shastahadwitnessedtherouttakeplace.Theplayfulflirtingfollowedbytheassaultfromtheunbridledvagina.She’dwatchedCharmchasethelacrosseboysasfarasthefacultyparkinglot.Astheterrifiedyoungstershaddisappearedintothedistance,Shastahadriskedapproachingtheboldgirl.Agallikethat,eventhenrevertingbacktohernormalself,smoothingherskirtdownandreapplyingherpinklipgloss,thisgirlwouldbeafreethinker.She’dbeentheultimateinwhitebeauty,combingherlongblondehairandregardingtheworldthroughglacialblueeyes.Backthenshe’dbeenyoungandlithe,butthere’dalreadybeensomehintofthecrustyoldbroadaboutCharm.She’dnevershrinkfromachallenge.

Alonewithsuchagirl,Shastahadventuredtoask,“How’sitgoing?”Thetwogirlshadtheirmythologyincommon,butthatwasall.

ThepaleskinthatcoveredCharm’sclassicNordicfeatureshadflushedasifsuddenlyself-conscious.Perhapsshe,too,realizedthatherpelvicattackonthesillygaggleofharmlessteenshadbeenunnecessarilyharsh.“Hi,Shasta!”she’dstammered.

Shastadidn’tletslipthatshe’dobservedthegoings-onwiththerowdyteam.She’dcontinued,“HaveyouseenWalteraround?”

TheAryanbombshellhadcockedhersmallheadinconfusion.Anabundanceofstraight,goldenhairhadtumbledtothatside.“Walterwho?”askedthegirl.

HereatMaryhill,promenadinginthegardens,ShastahadtheearandtheheartofoneofCaucasia’smostpowerfulchieftains.Shemustbeabletooffersuchagirlsomeincentive.Iftheycouldstrikeabargain,perhapstheycouldbothbenefitfromShasta’slong-rangescheme.

Charlie,heremainedmute.Hemerelysurveyedhisrealm.Belowthisportionofthegardens,theterrainfellawaytofertile,fruitedplainsthatstretchedtothehorizon.Inthedistancesunburnedfieldwivesstoopedtotendtheyoungseedlings.Amongthebounty,Shastacouldrecognizewideswathsofdeliciousradishes...denselyplantedbushbeans...thetendrilsofcucumbervines.ThehardlifeofafieldwifewasanimprovementoverstarvinginthesettlementhousesofPortland,butitwasafarcryfromthestatusofpublicwifethatShastastoodtoachieve.Despitetheirlowlystation,morethanasmatteringoffieldwiveswieldedbigpregnanttummiesthathadtobeCharlie’sdoing.Hiskingdom,likethoseofanychieftain,consistedofonekingandhordesoffemaleworkers.Theoppositeofabeehiveortermitemound.

Inthesky,directlyoverheadaformationofjumbojetlinerswasescortingthelastoftheAsiangenotypesbacktotheirnativecontinent.Shastawatchedthemgowithdespair.Caucasiahadchosenhaggisoveryuxiangrousi.

Charliecontinuedhismuteoversightofthefields.Abreathtakingplantingofkohlrabilaybelowthem.Acomplicatedbeddingschemeofdwarfsunflowersseemedtobeturningtheirshaggyheadstofollowthesun.Tryingtoshareinhisadmirationoftheplentitudeofnutritiouscrops,Shastacontinuedtolookon.Onlythendidtherealityofthesituationstrikeher.Herarrivalhereatthis

spotatthisparticularmomentintimewasnoaccident.

AsthesuntickeditswayacrosstheblueCaucasiansky,eachsunflowertwisteditsbrightorangeface.Likeastadiumcrowdmovinginperfectunisontoperformthe“wave,”therowsofsunflowersgraduallycametofaceShasta.Lookingpastthethousandpregnantlaborers,beyondtheripeningkohlrabi,shecouldrecognizethesecretofthismoment.

AglanceatCharlieconfirmedhersuspicion.Afaintsmileflickeredonhislips.

Wherehiseyesfell,theemergingshadesoforangeformedapattern.Incontrasttothelighter,limegreenofordinaryproduce,thesunflowersbegantoformwords.

Emblazonedacrossamileofopencountry,legibleonlyfromthisloftyvantagepoint,thecropsturningtofacethemspelledoutthemessage:Charlie(heartshape)Shasta.

Whateveritwasthatenteredtheroom,itsskinglistened.Thecreatureshimmeredwithhazywavesofscent,thescentofeverycoconutintheworldsplitopen.Thestinkofpiñacoladasuncountable.Knottedshredsofredbandanagathereditswiryhairintoapparentlyrandomclumps,butthebulkofitsoilyfrizzburstfromitsheadinamasssodensethehairpusheditsearsforwarduntileachstuckoutlikethehandleonapitcher.

Itsbarefeetshuffledintotheparlor.Theyhoppedandcapered.WhatevermadeitswaytowardJamal,itloped.

Alengthofhempropeheldupitstatteredpants,andtheraggedcuffsfloppedagainstthefloor.Itadvancedacrosstheparlorinjerkingstrides,wavingitsarmsintornshirtsleevesandstretchingitspleatedturkeynecktogawkatthefurnitureandpaintings.InthismanneritcrossedthePersiancarpet,goggleeyedandsmackingitsrawlips.“Lawdy,”itcried,“datMizzJosafeennevahpermissionedmahtahenternopah-lor!”

Theapparitionheldoutitselbowsatshoulderheight,displayingsoiledwhitegloveswornontwiddlingfingers.Witheachstep,itjerkedeachkneesohigh,sofast,itmight’vebeenwadingthroughglue.Amusclespasmseemedtoseizeitsface,forcingtheeyessoopenthatawidemarginofwhitesshowedaroundeachiris.Theseeyesrollingineverydirection,whilethemouthyawnedtodisplaygleamingteethandthechinwaggedsidetoside,juttedforwardonemomentandthenextsunkbackintotheneck.

Thebarefeet,thescrawnylegsvisiblethroughrentsinthetrousers,theneckandfaceofthecreature,theywereallcoalblack.

Asthethingcaperedforward,Arabellalookedonfromherstationnearthedoorway.“MisterJamal,”shesaidflatly,hereyeslookingelsewhere,“thisisBarnabas.”Shesighedheavily.

Asoiledglovethrustitselfathim.Withswollen,crackedlips,theBarnabasthingsangout,“Eye’spleez’dtahmeet’cha,MassahJamal!Yahdonnohawmuch!DatMizzJosafeen,shewazadebilwomin!”

Jamalexchangedaglancewiththehousekeeper.Arabellashrugged.Sheliftedahandandidlyexaminedherfingernails.

Blackasoil,blackerthanwhatpeoplecalledblue-black,theBarnabasthingcontinuedtoprancesprylyinthecenteroftheroom.“Y,datdebilMizzJosafeen,shekeep’dmelok’dindahattackfahmosahmieholelie-f!”

JamalpuzzledthroughitsButterflyMcQueendiction.Helookedtothehousekeeperforatell,anycue,butshe’dburiedherfaceinbothhandstostiflealaugh.Clearly,whateverthenatureofthisdementedgollywog,thejokewasn’tonhim.Reluctantly,hebroughthisgazebacktothehead-bobbing,hip-shakinggrotesque.“Barnabas?”heasked.“CanyoutellmewhereMissJosephine’sgone?”

Theeye-rollingcreaturebroughtbothglovedhandsuptoframeitswrinkledface,andtrembled,asifcoweringinterror.“Shedohngawnskee-daddledtahCock-asia!”

Arabellaclearedherthroat.Winced.

Jamallookedherway.

“Barnabas,”shesaid,noddingtowardthecreature,“hasbeenlivinginyourattic,sir.He’sthenoiseyou’veheardnights.”

Thisnewswasn’tunwelcome.AsoflatelyafearhadbeguntotroubleJamal.Theideathathe’ddonehislife’sworktooearly.ByparticipatinginAdjustmentDayandrisingtothelofty,lifetimerankofaprinceofBlacktopia,hemight’vepeakedtooearly.Therewards,thismanse,thewealth,werepleasing,butastheTalbottbookdecreed:

Propertyisbuttheresidueoftrueaccomplishment.

AdjustmentDayhadn’tsettledhisspirit.Onthecontrary,thatachievementlefthissoulhungeringforgreaterchallenges.Fromhereonhewasdeterminedtolivealifeofdeedsinsteadofobjects.AstheTalbottbookdictated:

Onlytheimpossibleiseverworthdoing.

Nomanwho’dtakenpartinAdjustmentDay,whetherhenowbeaprinceorachieftain,tookanythingforgranted.Jamalknewfromtheforfeiturerecordsthattheowner,thisfabledMissJosephine,hadneversurrenderedthetitletothisproperty.NorecordexistedofherrelocatingtoorapplyingforcompensationfromCaucasia.Longandhard,helookedatthisjabbering,sprymonstrosity.Minustheburnthair,theragbagensemble,andimpossibleobsidianhueofitsskin,thishadtobeher.

Thehousekeeper’sheadshakingandsuppressedamusementconfirmedasmuch.

Theoldlady,clearlyderanged,shepuffedhercheeksandwhistledajigassheslappedtimeagainstherskinnythighsandboppedaroundtheelegantroom.

Thewhistlingandboppingceasedandthecreaturestoodbug-eyedbeforeatalloilpainting.TheportraitshowedawhiskeredmilitaryofficerinConfederategrays,bedeckedingoldbraid,aswordlashedtohisside.Aftermorethanacentury,hisblueeyesstillblazedwithresoluteness.Thecreaturesuckeditsteeth,duckeditshead,andsquintedsidewayswiththeatricalvenomatthepicture.“MassahJamal?”itsaid,“canahaxyahsum-tin?”Pokingwithonedirtywhiteindexfinger,itasked,“Izyahplan’ntahburndeezdebilpitchers?”

JamalmetArabella’ssurprisedlook,matchinghersingleraisedeyebrow.“Why,Barnabas,wouldyoulikemetoburnthem?”

TheBarnabascreaturebareditsgleaming,too-whiteteethandtentativelygrowledatthepainting.Whenthemaninthepicturedidn’tgrowlinreturn,Barnabasraisedonewhite-glovedfistandshookitattheofficer.“Ah’sbinprison’dindishowzmahholetimeahndisurth.”

Jamalstruggledtodeciphersuchgibberish.Everyutterancewasatest.

TheBarnabascreaturesquintedwithmenaceandpeeredaroundtheroom,pointedlytakinginthecrystalchandelier,therosewoodgrandpiano,themarblefireplaceandvelvetupholstery.Everytasselandbrassspittoon.Itpuffeditspigeonchestandflexeditschickenwingarmsasifreadytothrowpunches.“If’nyahaxme,”itmuttered,“ahthinksyahshoodberndawndahholehowz!”

Jamalleveledhisgazeonthepoorcreature.“Barnabas,”hesaid,“haveyouconsideredthatyouranimositywasthereasonMissJosephinenevertrustedyou?”Maybeitwastimetomovebeyondtheoff-the-rack,ready-to-wearpoliticalideologyofTalbott.Maybe,Jamalaskedhimself,heshouldholdontothisproblemtoseewhatinsightitmightyield?

Barnabasballedhisglovedfingersintofistsandtookaboxer’sstance.“WizeyahsidewidMizzJoe?”

Jamalwasn’tfazed.Fromwiggers,tothefilmTenstarringtheactressBoDerekwithherblondehairbraidedincornrows,towhite“trustifarian”youngpeoplewithdreadlocks,thisBarnabasseemedliketheinevitableresultofculturalappropriation.Anoldladywigger.ThelatestinaseriesofchemicallyenhancedSambotypes.Theracialequivalentofadragqueen’sbotchedversionofbeinganactualwoman.

JamalflashedonthefictionalcharacterD’orotheaWilsoninthemuch-belovedTalesoftheCitynovelsbyArmisteadMaupin.Asafailedfashionmodel,awhitewomannamedDorothyhadblackedupandbecomeasuccessful,highlysought-after“black”model.Sickle-cellanemiawasthepunchlineinabookadoredbymillions!That,andtheissueofSupermancomicstitled“IAmCurious(Black)”wheretheintrepidreporterLoisLaneusesadevicetotransformherselfintoafoxyblackwomanfortwenty-fourhours.Whethertheycalleditreportingorresearch,forwhitepeoplecrossingthecolorlinewasalwaysjustfunandgames.

Itmightevenprovetobeapathology.Likemultiplepersonalitydisorderorgenderdysmorphia.

PerHarvardpsychologyprofessorDr.JeremiahBrockyard,racialdysmorphiaortransracialismwasdemonstratedbytheactivistRachelDolezal,whoposedatbeingblack,andbythesingerMichaelJackson,whotookhugehealthriskstoappearmorewhite.AsSigmundFreudhadmadehiscareerwiththecasestudyofDora,Jamalmightjustaseasilyexploitthementalillnessofthisdementedwhiteladyforhisownfameandfortune.

Here,herewashisnextchallenge.Jamalraisedahandtosignalthehousekeeper.“Arabella,wouldyoubesokindastobringmyguestandmetwoextremelycoldmintjuleps?”

Ifthisapparitionwasthemanifestationofashattered,disassociatedpersonality,oritwassomeformofStockholmsyndromebroughtonbyfindingherselfanalieninherformernation,Jamaldidn’tventureaguess.Notyet.Itdawnedonhimthatthis,adventureslikethis,peopledbyflawed,damagedcharacters,werethestuffofbooks.InthisBarnabascreature,hisownbookmightbeborn.

Hiswouldbeabookwrittenbyablackmanaboutawhitewomanpretendingtobeablackman.Thetitlewroteitself.Hisliterarymasterpiece,hewouldcallitBlackLikeYou.

IntheseasonsthatfollowedAdjustmentDaythebeaverpopulationrebounded.Asthehumanpopulationseethedindisarray,citiesbecomingscenesoffamine,notjustbeavernumberssurged.Otter,bobcat,muskrat,andrabbitsallmadeacomeback.Minksandlynxandwolves.Astheweatherflushedthetoxinsfromtheenvironment,eventheapexpredatorssuchasbearsandpanthersrebounded.

Fur,furwaseverywhere.Consequentlyartificialfursemergedasthenewstatussymbols.Minusthenow-defunctpetrochemicalsupplychain,fakefurandleatherwererapidlybecomingextinct.Asstandinginventoryoffakefurswinkedout,nonewfakefursreplacedthem.

ThustoflaunthiswealthChieftainCharliediddonrobesofchartreuseleopardandrareacryliczebra.Hestruttedthecorridorsofhispalaceinknee-highbootsofendangeredNaugahyde.Hiscourtiersarrayedhimincapesoflimegreenfauxsableandfringedgauntletsofpleatherstuddedwithcostlyersatzpearls.ThuslyadornedhemountedthebattlementsofMaryhilltosurveytherichplantingsofsugarbeetsandsweetonions,thearabesquebeddingschemesofacornsquashandendive,thewealthofhiskingdom.

Shastahadtakenherleave,butsoonshewouldbecomehisconsort.Theywouldbewedthemomenthergenetictestingconfirmedherethnicity.

Avoicespoke.Charlieturnedfromthebattlementsandtheview,andhiseyesfelluponaliveriedfootman.Themanescortedayoungmaiden,ahomewifefromamongthestaffofscullerymaidsandchambermaids.Nobeautywasshe,butherloinsappearedsound.Henoddedhisapproval,andthefootmanescortedthegirlaway.Shewouldbewaitinginhisapartmentswhenhewasready.

Astinkhadbeguntosaturatethebasement.Thesourceofthereekwastheoldman’sbloodbecauseevenbloodsourslikemilk,andthestenchofdiscardedbloodhadgivenitsflavortoeverybreathWalterdrew.Blackflieshadcircled,circlingWalterandTalbott,circlingtheirhalf-eatenfoodinaconstantmiasma,asifthesmellitselfgeneratedalowhum.

Notthebestcustodianofhisownhygiene,Walterhadgivenshortshrifttotheneedsofhiselderlyward.Mealssattoolongatroomtemperature,thestinkoftheirdecayundetectableintheroom’soverallstink.TheresultbeingthatTalbott’stoiletinghadbecomesuddenandexplosive.WitheverytaintedinhaleWalterhadassuredhimselfthatpeoplehaddoneworseforafortune.Todate,everytaskTalbotthadsetwasatest.Thebigpicturewouldsoonsnapintosharpfocus.

Oncethelistwaspostedandhaddrawnitsfirstsubmissionsandvotes,Walterhadwaitedforthenextchallenge.Hisnewoldmanhadbeendozing.Hisheadhaddrooped,andhe’djerkedawakewithasinglebubblingsnort.Sputtering,hisheadlollingonhisthinneck,he’dmuttered,“Hypnagogicspasm.”

He’dgoneontoexplain.Betweenwakefulnessandsleep,peoplepassthroughthehypnagogicstate,aphasewhensleepwalkingoccurs.Alsocommonarehallucinations,visionsoftrippingoveranobstacleorfallingfromawindow,andthesleeperjerksawake.Thatsuddenawakening,sleepexpertscalleditthehypnagogicspasm.Anthropologists,accordingtoTalbott,believethatourevolutionaryancestorshaddevelopedthespasmtoguardagainstlosingtheirgriponbranchesorthefurofthemotherprimate.Ourvisionoffallingistheirvisionofplummetingtothejunglefloor,aterrorleftoverfrombeforewewereevenhuman.Talbotthadexpoundedontheconcept.He’dswallowedhardandlickedhisdrylips.Hischesthadrisenandfallenlikeabellows,swellingand

collapsingthelaceratedlittledirigibleofhisribcage.Notallthecorruptfoodhadbeenshatout,asdemonstratedbythevomitusthatspilleddowntheoldchinandclunginpaleclotstothegrayedchesthair.

“YouknowN.A.?”he’dasked.He’dmeantthetwelve-stepgroupforrecoveringdrugaddicts.NarcoticsAnonymous.He’dsaid,“Gothere.”

HerehadbeenthenextphaseofWalter’straining.Talbotthaddemanded,“Findmeonemanortwowithnothingtolose.”

Waltwastoheartheirstoriesandlistenformenwho’dgivenuponlife.Youngermen.Angryanddisillusionedmen.Talbotthadwantedrecruitswho’dturnedtodrugsbecausetheyweresmartandstrong,andthepresentworldofferedthemnooutletfortheirgifts.Thesewouldbemenwhohateddrugsbutwhohatedmoreasocietythathadleftthemnomeanstoachievethestatusthatallmencrave.

Walterwastopromisethemamilliondollars.Hewastopromisetomakeeachmanaprinceofthenewnewworld.Walterhadn’tlikedthesoundofthat,seeinghowhehadn’t,himself,gottenoneredcent.Tobidefortimehe’dpickedupabowlofcoldTopRamenandhadgivenitacursorysniff.He’dclosedthestepstowhereTalbottsatduct-tapedtothechair.Usingaspoonthatmanagedtofeelbothgreasyandsticky,he’dshovelednoodlesintothegapingoldmouth.

Histonguecrowdedwithfood,TalbotthadcitedtheAmericanCivilRightsMovementofthe1950sand’60s.Priortoitthedispossessedandpowerlesshadgonetochurchesforcomfort,andinthosethedisenfranchisedhaddiscoveredtheyweren’taloneintheirmisery.United,they’dformedanarmy,andthechurchleadershadrecognizedtheirpowerandledthosearmiesintobattle.

Chokingandsputtering,Talbotthadsaid,“Thosegroups...recoveryandsupportgroupsarethenewchurches.”He’dsaidthattraditionalplacesofworshiphadbeenreducedtocrasstheaterswherepeoplewenttosignaltheirstatusandvirtues.Atruechurchhadtoserveastheplacewherepeoplewentinsafetytoriskconfessingtheirworstselves.Nottoboastanddisplaytheirpride.Thosewhoattendedrecoverygroups,theyarriveddefeated.Theytoldthestoryoftheirfailure.Theirsinsandshortcomings.Toadmittheirculpability,andindoingsotheyreceiveacommunionwiththeirflawedpeers.Itwaswithintheseunlikelychurches,inthecompanyofthedrunkardandthedopefiend,thatWalterwouldfindtheofficersofhisnewarmy.Thegreatestarmiesintheworldaredestroyedbyidleness,Talbotthadargued.Withoutopportunity,themenWalterwouldbeenlisting,intheabsenceofanexternalenemyandabattle,theywerebecomingcasualtiesofthemselves.

WhatTalbottwastotellWalter,Walterwastopreachtothesemenhehimselfselected,andthosemenweretoventureforthtospreadthemessagetoasmallnumberofmen.Ifthosemenarequeer,beguilethemwithvisionsofGaysia,wheretheycouldliveintheirownhomogeneouscompany.Ifwhite,testifytothemaboutthefuturepossibleinCaucasia.Ifblack,offerupthepromiseofBlacktopia,wheretheyneedneverkowtowtoanyotherrace.

“Bringme,”Talbottdirected,“yourlearnedhelpless.”Hisvoicerosetoashout.“Thewretchedresultsofjobsoff-shored.Lendthese,thehopeless,diversity-vanquished,tome...”

WhereuponTalbotthadappearedtoswoon.Inlittlemorethanawhisper,he’duttered,“I’llfootthebill.Theworldisyours.”

Andonceagainhe’dfallenintoajerking,restless,fitfulslumberfilledwithprehistoricterrors.

AstheTalbottbookputit,thedisunitedstateshadalwaysbeenanationcomposedofnations.Somesovereign.Others,invisible.Parishes.Guilds.Associations.Chaptersandclubs.AfterAdjustmentDaythosethatwereself-sustainingsurvived.Butthosedependentonthelargesseofthevanishedgovernment,oronthefawningattentionofthevanquishedmedia,thosebrotherhoodsandalliancesceasedtoexist.

Thesamewentforfamilies.

Thetwobrothershadagreedtomeetforlunch.Tomeetforonelasttime.Abillboarddwarfedthesmallroadsidedineronwhoseroofitsat.Easilytwicethesizeoftheeatery,itsboldblackletteringread“WhitesOnly.”

Inside,thetwomensatinaboothbesidethefrontwindows.Theysatfacingeachotherlikeimperfectmirrorimages:thesamenose,thesameeyesandmouthandruffleofhair,bothleaningwithelbowsonthetable,buteachwithadifferentexpression.

Aserverwearingacheckeredginghamfrockandanapronwithscallopededgesstoodoverthem.Herpenpoisedaboveherpad,sherecited,“ThesoupdujourisPaulaDeenWhiteBeanStew...Forspecials,wehaveaRichardSpencereight-ouncewhitefishfiletandanall-white-meatLesterMaddoxChickenSalad...”

Oneofthebrothersnoticedherwaiting.“Giveusaminute,okay?”ThatwasEsteban.

Theotherbrothersaid,“We’llhavetwoPaulaDeenstostartwith.”ThiswasXavier.

Whentheserverhadsteppedaway,Estebanreachedintoapocketofhisjacketandtookoutahandfulofwhitepackets.Whiteplastic,littlepillowsnolargerthanBeforeTimescreditcards,heat-sealedalongallfouredges.Hetossedtheseintothecenteroftheemptytable.Inblackfelt-tippedpensomepacketsweremarkedwithalowercase“p”andsomewithalowercase“d.”Estebannoddedatthepackets,saying,“Youdon’thavetoemigrate.”

Xavierreachedtoexamineone.Hesqueezeditssoftnessbetweenathumbandindexfinger.

“They’reblackmarket,”Estebanexplained.“The‘d’standsfordrool.Squeezeoneintoyourmouthifyou’refacingaracialtest.It’slab-certifiedEuropean-derivedsaliva.”

Xavierpokedatapacketmarkedwitha“p.”Asking,“Andthese?”

“Piss.Foraurinalysis,”Estebansaid.“Don’tgetthemmixedup.”

Xavierpawedthroughthepackets.“Yourhandwritingispiojoso.”Dependingontheviewingangle,thep’sandd’swereidentical.

Undeterred,Estebansaid,“StayhereinCaucasiasowecanvisit.Ihavediplomaticimmunity.AsamemberofthefirstlineageIcantravelfreelybetweenallthreenationsformyjob.”

Hisbrotherregardedthepackets,turningthemasiftryingtodiscernwhichwaswhich.Thetwangofcountry-westernmusicplayedonthesoundsystem.Beyondthewindowsamixofmotorvehiclesandhorse-drawnwagonsmovedalongthehighwayinbothdirections.Fromthehighwayagreatexpanseofredcabbagefilledtheacresthatrolledtowardthehorizon.Lookingintothatdistance,Xavierasked,“Why’dyoudoit?”

Estebansquintedatthepackets.Heslidoneawayfromtherest,saying,“Ithink...thisoneispiss.”Heslidanotheraside,saying,“Butthisisdrool.Ithink.”Hestoppedhisfussing,abruptly.“Youhavenoidea,”hemuttered.Louder,hisvoicesteady,“Nationsarefoundedonreligions.They’refoundedonpoliticalsystems.Abstractideas.Whynotsomethingasrealandbasicassexualpreference?”

Xavierdidn’tofferarebuttal.Hisdufflebagsatslumpedontheseatbesidehim.

“Iwantedtohelp,”Estebancontinued,“tocreateonesafespacewherepeoplewouldn’tfeellikeoutcasts.”Aringinterrupted.Thesoundcamefrominsideapocketofhisjacket.Hetookouthisphoneandstudiedthescreen,saying,“Loftyaffairsofstatebeckon.”Hegottohisfeetandexitedtotheparkinglot.

“Twowhitebeanstews?”avoiceasked.ThewaitressslidtwobowlsontothetablewhereXavierstillwaited.SheglancedoutthewindowtowhereEstebanstoodtalkingonhisphone.Thebowls,brimmingwithsteamingmuck,hadpushedasideandhopelesslyscrambledthepoorlylabeledpackets.ShestoodwatchingEstebanoutside,asking,“Haven’tIseenhimontelevision?Ishesomebody?”Conspiratorially,sheasked,“Youknowifhe’smarriedornot?”

Xavierwatchedhisbrothergivingorders,mutedbythewindowglassandthebackgroundoftrafficnoise.Theserverwasn’tleaving.Smiling,heturnedtoherandasked,“Youknowyourmusicsucks?”

Evenassheturnedinahuff,hewasalreadytearingopenpackets.Itdidn’tmatter,p’sord’s.Withtheservergone,Xaviergotbusymixingallthelab-tested,European-derivedwhateverintohisbrother’sbowlofsoup.

ConsideringwhatTalbotthadsaid,theironyhadn’tbeenlostonWalter.Ifrecoverygroupswerethechurchesofthisera,theywerestillconductedintheoldchurchbuildings.AsChristianchurcheshadcommandeeredthetemplespreviouslydevotedtoApolloandDiana,thelocalchapterofNarcoticsAnonymousmetinthebasementofSt.Stephens.Intheabove-groundsanctuary,bathedincoloredsunshinefromstained-glasswindows,thegoodcitizensworetheirSundaybest.Theysanginthecorrectkeyinharmonyandrecitedtheirprayersinunison.Beneaththeirfeet,

underground,itwasanotherstory.

Awayfromthesunshine,aftersunsetanentirelydifferentcongregationshuffledin.Fragmented,solitary.Insteadofincense,thesmellofcigarettesmokewaftedoffthem.Inplaceofsacramentalwine,theydrankblackcoffeeandtookcommunionwithjellydoughnuts.

ItwasonlyhisexcitementaboutShastathathadgottenWalterintothechurchbasement,aboutseeingShasta’sfacewhensherealizedhewasrich.Talbotthadcoachedhimthatcreativevisualizationwouldn’tcutthemustard.WhenanoutfitlikeAmwaywantedtomotivaterookieenrollees,itencouragedthemtotestdriveMaseratisandAlfaRomeos.PeoplewereencouragedtoshopforGulfstreamjetsandcontactrealestateagentsfortoursofmansionsonfairwaysandprivatebeaches.Realdetailsmotivatedpeople.Thesmellofleatherseatsandthesoundofoceanwavesunderthebedroomwindows.Peopleneededtoknowthefinedetailsofthelifetheywerestrivingtoachieve.Vaguegoalssuchasgoodhealthormoneyweretoodifficulttomeasure.Theabstractdoesn’texcitethespirit.Butthesoftnessandwarmthofasablecoat.Ortheglowofadiamondnecklace.Thesilkyfeeloftheperfectsaltwaterswimmingpool.Thesemotivate.AndsoWalterhadpicturedShastaaboardthesailboatinSanFranciscoBay,andheaddedthescentofhersuntanlotionandthetasteoftheChateauLafite,1869they’ddrink.Somedaythey’dnibblebelugawhitecaviarandlaughaboutthemeasuresWalterhadtakentomakehisfortune,aboutflayingTalbottwithrazorsandpostingthelistandinvadingNarcoticsAnonymousinsearchofconverts.BolsteredbythesespecificsWalterhadventuredintothenetherworldofthisnewreligion.

There,parishionershadarriveddraggingtheircrimes.WithnameslikeClemandT.J.andKeishaun.Wearingbusinesssuits,wearingtracksuitsorstainedcoveralls,they’dwaitedtheirturns,menandwomen,tomaketheirfullconfessions.There,awayfromtheworld,eachhadgivenanaccountofhisorherworstbehaviorandhadresolvedtodobetter.

Towhomtooffertheworld?Whichmantoradicalize?Walterhadlistened,weighingtheout-of-workveteranagainstthebaristastrugglingthroughbeautyschool.Talbotthadwarnedhim.Thewhiteswouldblametheblacks.Thegayswouldblamethestraights.Theblackswouldblamethewhites.AndeveryonewouldblametheJews.Walterhadwaitedaseverypersonhadhisorhersay.Talbotthadtoldhimexactlywhattosayandhadforcedhimtorepeatthewordsuntilhe’dknownthembyheart.Wheneveryonehadspoken,ithadbeenhisturn.AndonlywhenalleyeshadfallenuponhimhadWaltersaidhispiece.

“MynameisWalter,”he’dsaid.Anotherday,anothertest.He’dimaginedthesmellofShasta’sterrorasshestoodkissinghiminahousehesecretlyowned.Beforethegroupcouldstophim,he’dannounced,“I’mlookingtorecruitmenwho’druletheworldinlessthanayear.”Acollectivegroanwentupaspeoplehadscoffedandshooktheirheads.“Anyoneinterestedinbeingafoundingmemberofanewrulingclass,pleaseseemeoutside.”AndWalterhadstoodup,andhe’dexcusedhimself,andhe’dsteppedoutthedoor,walkedupthestairs,andhe’dwaitedinthealleyforaheroorafoolorfornoonetofollowhim.

Charmflippedthroughthepagesofacookbook,passingovertherecipesbutlingeringonfull-colorphotographsofLobsterNewbergandWaldorfsalad.Shestudiedcannelloni,feelinghermouthfillwithsaliva.Sheogledbokchoytothepointshemighthavetoswallow,thenrushedtothekitchen.

Hermotherstoodoverthestovestirringsomethinginafryingpan.Sheworeawimple.Awimple!Shewassowhiteherlipsstretchedasthinaspinkrubberbands.Gavynwastheluckyone.Shasta,too.ShastashouldjustsurrenderforexporttoBlacktopia.Charmandherparentsweretrapped,condemnedtothepatriarchal,gun-totingRenaissanceFairethatwasCaucasia.Hermotherlookedupfromhercookingandsaid,“Hello,dear.”

Charmasked,“Beer?It’searly.”

Hermotherwassippingfromatallmugofamberliquid.“This?”sheasked,offeringthemug.“It’surine.Preventscancers.Blackpeopleswearbyit.”

Charmhummedaresponse.Hermouthwastoofullofspittoriskwords.Sheopenedtherefrigeratorandtookoutaplastictub.Hand-letteredonthesnap-tightlidwasthewarning:HandsOff!Charm’sDrool!Shepeeledoffthelidandtippedherfaceoverthetub.Athick,cloudyliquidsloshedinside,andshehawkedanastyloogieintothemess.

Hermotherwinced.“Disgusting.”Shetippedbackanotherswigofmedicinalurine.

Charmspatagainandsnappedthelidonthetub.She’dbeenatthisforacoupledaysandthetubstillfeltempty.“Sciencefair,”shesaid.“Pavlov’sdog.”

Hermotherleveledaworriedlookather.“Youknowscienceisoff-limits.”

Themoratorium,shemeant.ThebigpushtogetanyoneintoSTEMcareerswasdead.Theedictwasthatwhitepeopleweresupposedtobebreedinginsteadofreading.Assheclosedthefridge,Charmtriedtochangethesubject.“I’vebeenthinkingaboutGavyn.”

Hermother’sbrowpinched.Shefeignedconfusion,asking,“Who?”

“Yourson.”Charmwenttothesinkandfilledatallglasswithwater.Allherspittinghadtakenitstoll.

Hermothersighedasdeeplyasthelacingsofherbodicewouldallow.“Wehavenoson,”shesaid.“Youhavenobrother.”

Asshedrankthewater,Charmweighedthestatement.Washermothercruelorjustbeingarealist?OnceGavynhademigrateditwasunlikelythey’deverhavecontactwithhim.ThebesttheycouldhopeforwouldbeasurrogatesonordaughterexportedbysimilarlydisappointedparentsinGaysia.Toomanyparentstookoffense.IftheirchildrenreachedtheAgeofDeclaration,eighteen,andannouncedaninappropriatesexuality,itlookedlikebetrayal.CharmknewherownparentshadaskedGavyntopostponehisdeclaration.Peoplecouldwaituntiltheywerenineteen,anddelayinghisannouncementwould’vegiventhemtwomoreyearstogetherasafamily.ButGavyn,he’dfiledhispaperwork.He’dknownwhathewanted.Hewantedtogetthehellout.

Hermotherdidn’tmeethergazebutcontinuedtostir,saying,“Youknowyoucan’tgooutdoorslikethat.”Whateverwasinthepan,ithissedandspat.

Shemeantbare-headed.WomenofCaucasiawererequiredtocovertheirheadsinpublic.Anothermeasureintendedtoinstillethnicunity.Hencethewimple.FrenchTudorcapsweretemptingfate;agirlmightaswellsashayaroundtopless.Snoods?Forgetit.Charmknewherparentshadalreadylostonechild.Godforbidtheirremainingchildgetbouncedintoaheretic’sworkfarmorwhatever.

Theschoolhadcalledtoday.Theprincipalwasthreateningexpulsion.Hermotherpinchedupsomesaltfromabowlandsprinkleditintohercooking.Shesaid,“Theyclaimyouchasedmoreboyswithyourexposedladyparts.”Usingbothhands,shetwistedapeppermill.“Thoseyoungmenwereawfullyshakenup.”

Charmsmiledatthememory.She’dpanickedthevarsitybasketballteamduringpractice.Byleapingoutofthegirl’slockerroomwithnopantson,she’dstampededacrewofalphamalesoutthroughthefireexits.Alarmshadsounded.Asfeministpowermomentswentitfeltprettyglorious.

Shewasalreadytryingtoworkupanewmouthfulofspit.“YouthinkGavynmightbeintrouble?”WhatshemeantwasthatthenationofGaysiahadonlyrecentlylauncheditsprogramtoreproduceexports.ItwouldbeseventeenyearsbeforeityieldedanyheterosexualswhocouldbetradedforthehomosexualsstockpiledinCaucasiaandBlacktopia.AtthatrateGavynmightbethirty-fourorthirty-fivebeforehestoodachanceofemigrating.Ofcourse,somedo-goodersmightraisethehalfmillionTalbottdollarsneededtoransomhim,buttheoddsseemedslim.Notforalloftheteenagersinretentioncamps.

Allthewhiletheheterosexualnationstateswouldalreadyhavebabiesinthepipeline,andoverthenextseventeenyearsasmallarmyofqueerexportswasgoingtogetbottleneckedattheretentioncamps.Straightfolkshadahistory-longheadstartatthebaby-makinggame.

Ashermouthfilled,Charmwatchedhermotherandtriednottoswalloworspeak.

Currentlynationsconductedamodestback-and-forthtradeinbabiesbornwithamajorityofCaucasianorsub-SaharanDNA,buteveryoneknewtherealbonanzawouldbeintheexportofmis-bornqueercitizens.Thatwasthenewterm:mis-born.Itdenotedanyonebornandraisedinaninappropriatenationstate.

Furthermore,whoknewifGaysiawouldprioritizetheyoungestexports?Otherwisemoregenerationswouldspendtheiryouthwaitingtoberepatriated.IfyoungerexportsweregivenprioritythenGavyncouldspendhisentirelifetrappedinlimbobetweentwonations.

Hislettersdidn’tsayasmuch,butGavynhimselfhadstoppedwritingabouthishighhopes.Whereasheusedtowriteaboutfindinglove,settlingdown,andbecomingaforcetohelpbuildhisnewqueernation...latelyhe’dtakentocomplainingaboutthecampfood.Itwaslousy.Starchybeefstews.Wateryvegetablesoup.Thesamewaythatillnessbecamethechieftopicamongtheelderly,Charmknewthatfoodwasthemainpreoccupationofpeopleinprisons.

Noneofthisshementionedaloud.Shejustwatchedhermotherstir.Itwasfriedchicken,thegreasepopping.Potatoesboiledinapot.Dinnerrollswerebakingintheoven,andthebutterhadalreadybeensetoutonthecountertoptosoftenatroomtemperature.

Hermotherreachedupandpressedaswitch.Thehoodabovethestovebegantohum,andthesteamfromthefrypanspiraledupwardsanddisappeared.

Thesmell,somuchfatandmeat,theparmesancheesesheknewwouldbemixedintothecornmealbreading,thearomafloodedCharm’smouthwithnewsaliva.Inanotherminuteshe’dneedtoopenthefridgeagain.Herbrotherwasahostage,andthefastershefilledthatplastictubwithspitthesoonershemightliberatehim.

Thecallersweren’tClemorKeishaunbuttheyspokewiththesamebrusqueeconomyofwords,demanding,“GetTalbott.”OnthoseoccasionsWalterhadclippedahands-freephonetoTalbott’sscabbedheadandhadretreatedfromtheroom.AtTalbott’surginghe’dbeguntotypehisnotesintoasinglecomprehensivedocument.Towhatend,Walterhadn’taguess.Itmight’vebeenabookinprogress.Oritmight’vebeenjustanewtest.Beginningwiththefirsttest,flayinghisnewoldmaninsearchofamake-believehomingdevice,keyboardinghisnoteswasawalkinthepark.

Themenhe’denrolled,Walterhadonlybeenabletospeculateabout.Thetwoheroinaddicts.Theymightbetoolingaround,livinglargeonTalbott’sdime.TheymightevenbespreadingthegospelofTalbotttotheirfellowjunkiesinsupportgroupsacrossthecountry.Notimpossiblewastheideathatanetworkofdesperatemenwasbranchingandspreadingouttocoverthenation.Or,thosetwomenmightbedead.

NothingaboutTalbott’sdisappearancehadeversurfacedonthenewssites.Again,itwaspurespeculation,butthepolicemight’vekepttheentiresituationunderwrapspendingtheirinvestigation.Thatsaid,theFBImight’vebeenclosinginatanymoment,stakedoutdowntheblock,readytobatterdownthefrontdoor.Walterhadkepttyping.

Talbott’sshoutshadsummonedhim.Theoldmanhadsaid,“Youneedtomakethecallwetalkedabout.”Walterwenttotakethephoneofftheold,spottedscalp.Leakage,dropsofbloodswellingfromoldwoundshadglueditinplacesoeffectivelytheearcliphardlyseemednecessary.ThegruesometruthwasthatWalterhadtopeelthephoneoffthestretching,saggingoldskin,andeventhentheblackplasticwasspeckledwithtackysmudgesandcrustyscabs.SomuchsothatWalterhadbeencompelledtoscrubitwithanantibioticwetwipe.AllthewhileTalbotthadharanguedhim.

“Tellthemthecode,”he’dgrousedfromhischair.“Don’tkeeptheconnectionopenlongerthanoneminute.”

Walterhadsniffedthephone.Ithadsmelledlikenothingbutrubbingalcohol.He’dpunchedinthenumberhe’dlearnedbyheart.

Avoicehadanswered,awoman’svoice,“SenatorDaniels’soffice.”

Walterhadeyedtheoldmanwhilesaying,“I’mcallingonbehalfof—”

Thevoicehadcuthimoff.“Thesenator’sinameeting.”

“Tenseconds,”shoutedTalbott.

Walterhadtakenthenuclearoption.“Thisisacode4C247M.”Theconnectionhadgonesilentforaninstantbeforeaboomingmalevoicehadcomeon.

“Thisisthesenator,”thevoicehadannounced.

“Yes.”WalterhadgoneonwatchingTalbottforanysignsofapprovalordisapproval.“YouneedtointroducetheWarResolutionsAct.”

Talbotthadexplainedthesituation.Howtheyouthbulgeofsurplusmalesthreatenedtodestabilizethiscountryaswellasanynumberofforeignnations.Theactwouldcatalyzetheinductionofamillionyoungmenintothemilitary,andthesemenwouldbepittedagainstequalforcesconscriptedinothercountries.Itwasn’tlostonWalterthatwhenevereventsintheworldwentsouthitwasalwaysmenhisagewho’dbedispatchedtocleanupthemess.Walterhadtoldthesenator,“Mr.Talbottwouldlikethewartocommencenolaterthantheopeningdayofgrousehunting.”

“Ofcourse,”thesenatorhadsaid.UnlessWalterhadbeenmistaken,themanhadbeenpantingforbreathasifhe’dsprintedtoreachthephone.

Talbotthadexplainedthataworldwarwouldreducethesurplusoflabor.Theglobalmanufacturingmarketswouldexplodewithgrowth.Finally,Walterhadimaginedhecouldseesomebigmoneyattheendofthisverylongtunnel.He’dtoldthesenator,“Mr.Talbottsendshisbestwishestoyourwife.”

“Ofcourse,”thesenatorhadsaid.

“Thirtyseconds,”hadbarkedTalbottfromhischair.

Tipsywithpower,Walterhadbaitedthemanonthephone.“HowisMrs.Senator?”

Thesenatorhadhesitated.“She’sfine,sir.”

TodateWalterhadneverbeenaddressedas“sir,”anditfeltsurprisinglygood.Beforehecouldlosehisnerve,he’dgivenShasta’sfullnameandaskedthesenatortoexpungeherparkingtickets.

“Oneminute,”Talbotthadsnapped,“hangup!”

AsonelastmockinggibeWalterhadasked,“Senator,whenisgrousehuntingseason?”

Hisvoicereedywithstress,thesenatorhadasked,“Thisyear?”

“Thisyear,”Walterhadconfirmed.

“ItbeginsonedayaftertheonsetofWorldWarIII,”hadsaidthesenator,adding,“sir.”

Onlythen,withthetestcomplete,withTalbottglaringbulletsathim,takinghisownsweettime,didWalterhangup.

OneeveningstoodoutamongthemanyJamalspenttippingbackmintjulepsandtryingtostudythecreature.Initsindigo-blackhidehecoulddiscerntracesoftheagedbellewho’dburntherhairtoafrizzedmessanddailystrutteddownfromtheattic,high-steppingandanimatedwithBojanglesjazzhandsandleeringminstrelshowfaces.Timesthecreaturewoulddropitsactandreminisceaboutthepeopledepictedintheportraits.Thosetimes,theshuckandjiveerasedbygin,thecreaturewouldholdforthaboutthecemeterythatlayonthefarsideofthefield.Jamalwouldtouramongthegravestones,bigandsmall,andthecreaturewouldnarrateaboutthelivesofoneandall.

Examiningeachgraveclosely,JamalaskediftherewasoneforawomannamedBelinda.

“Datbeezindahslay-vahsex-shun,”saidBarnabas.Thecreaturewalkedtoawoodedareaoutsidethefamilygraves.There,amongtherustedcrossesandsunkengravesites,Jamalfoundasmallstone,thewhitemarbleerodedbyrain.Onlythename“Belinda”waslegible.

OnotheroccasionsthecreaturewouldfallsilentandJamalwouldreadaloudfromtheTalbottbook.Thatgospelofthenewnewworld.Intheparlor,withafirecracklingonthehearthhe’dread:

Welovetofightbuthatetowin.Wechallengeauthority,createconflict,andpitourselvesagainstpowernotbecausewewanttodominate,becauseweknowtriumphonlymeansmorefighting.Welovetofightbecauseweknowthatwhateverirresistibleforcefinallydefeatsus,wecanrejoiceand

recognizethatenemyasGod.

He’dnoticedhowwhenthecreaturewasdrunkandplayingafool,itseemedtoexperiencegenuinejoy.Itraiseditscrackedvoicetobeltoutoldspirituals.Jamalobservedthiswithamixtureofpityandfascination.Thisstruttingclown.Ithadmanifestedasahaunt.Thespiritofthisforlornplace.ThesightbroughttomindmorefromTalbott:

Towhitesthemostenviablequalityofblackswastheircapacityforhappiness.Theyexhibitedagracefuldeterminationandgoodnaturethatwhitescouldonlycovet.Overcenturiesofpersecution

blackshadevolvedanenviablespiritandinnerdelight.Toruinthatjoy,whitescreatedthegrievanceindustryandpoisonedblackhappinessbyreplacingitwithrageandhatred.Bysowinginsecurity,whiteshavedestroyedthegreatestpowerblacksonceenjoyed.Byteachingblackstotakeoffense,whiteshavesucceededincursingblackswithamiseryfargreaterthananywhite

unhappiness.

Asitslumpedinaredvelvetchair,thecreatureblinkedsurprisedeyes.Itsmackeditsswollenlipsandasked,“MassahJamal,datbook...doitreelysaydat?”

Jamalnodded.

Thecreaturenoddedinreturn.“Itsoun’rite.”Lostinthought,theoldeyesstudiedtheirownreflectioninthepolishedsideofthesilverjulepmug.“MassahJamal?”itasked,“Duzyahbuh-leevesinGot?”

Jamalwasalittleloaded.Heanswered,“IlovewhatGodcreates,butIadmitIdon’tgivehimthecredit.”Leaningclosertothecreatureheadded,conspiratorially,“IfI’dsaidprayershalfasmanytimesasI’vebeenonlinelookingforporn,I’dbesaved.Nodoubtaboutit.”Hesmiledroguishly,“IonlywishIlovedGodhalfasmuchasIlovesomeofhisbeautiful,beautifulcreations.”

Whateveritwas,thecreatureseemedtounderstand.Justthenitcould’vebeenwhatitwas:anoldwhitewomaninblackfaceafraidofbeingturnedoutofherancestralhome.Seeingthecreature’sfacesoften,atruthstruckJamal.Hisworstfearwasthatthestooped,freakishgnomewouldresolveitself.Itwouldrevertbacktoafrightenedoldlady.Thewomanwouldleavethishouseandtakewithheritshistory.Hisconcernwasaboutmorethanwritinghisbook.Jamalwouldbealoneinhispower,akinginacastlebutwithoutthisridiculousjester.Thiscaperingludicrousbuffoonwastheonlypersoninhisnewlifehefeltcomfortablearound.

He’dneveranticipatedthatpowerwouldbethislonely.

Noonewouldeverbelievethewordofthisfool,sohecouldconfessanysecrettoit.Howbadlyheneededthislunaticashisconfidant,itscaredhim.Hewonderedwhoneededwhommore.

Tostemthemoment,thekingreachedtoapitcherthatsatsweatingonasidetable.Withoutbeingasked,hepouredthecreature’sdrinkfull.

Deliciouspouredherselfanotherglassofwine.Itwassafertolookdrunkthantolookscared.Thepolicewouldn’tarrestatipsywoman,butthey’dfollowsomeonewhosmiledfurtivelyandwalkeddownthestreettoofast,stayingintheshadowsandlookingawaywhenpassingheadlightsrevealedherface.Shecheckedhermakeupinthebathroommirrorandtouchedasmudgeoflipstickoffonefronttooth.Aknockcameatthedoor.

“Justasec,”shesaid.Herwineglasssatontheledgebesidethebathtub,nexttotheemptywinebottle.Perfume,shealmostforgot.Adabbehindherknees,adabbehindeachear.Shedownedtheglassofwine,thenreachedupunderhershortskirtandwiggledthepantiesdownherthighsandtossedthemintotheclotheshamper.Alastlookinthemirrorgaveherconfidence.Asdidthewine.

Openingthebathroomdoor,Delicioussaid,“Allyours.”

WaitinginthehallwaywasFelix.HewasBelle’sboybyherhusband,notthatGaysianlawwouldrecognizesuchaunion.NowadaysDelicious’sman,Gentry,wasplayinghousewithJarvis,justasDelicioushadwedBelleinagrandpublicceremonyinthestupendousCathedralofHarveyMilkwithareleaseofhundredsofwhitedovesandatwenty-four-pieceorchestraatthereception.Felixhadservedasringbearer.Felixknewwhatwasatstake.

Oneslip-up,andanyoneofthemmightbedetainedasanexport.They’dbeplacedinaretentioncenterandeventuallyrelocatedtoBlacktopiaorCaucasia,nevertobereunitedwithhisorherbeloved.Tomakemattersworse,nowtheyhadFelixtoworryabout.Hewasn’tlikeotherboys.AtanagewhenheoughttobelipsynchingtovintageGloriaGaynormixes,hewasstaringatadtoolongatthescadsofwomentheypassedinthestreet.Hedidn’tseemtheleastbitinterestedindatingotherboys,anditworriedhismother.Sheinsistedhewasmerelygoingthroughaphase.WeeksshyofhisAgeofDeclaration,shebeggedhimnottoopenlyflaunthisheterosexuality.Attheleast,suchriskybehaviorwouldgethimbashedbyself-righteousthugs.Atworst,he’dbedeported.Thatwouldbethelasteitherofhisparentswouldseteyesonhim.

FelixgaveDeliciousasmirk.“Don’tyoulookhot,”hesaid,hiseyestakinginhersmoothlegs,herfeetwedgedinhighheels,herhemlinehighandhernecklinelow.Hesmiledhisapprovalathernewweaveandthesmudgeofglitterinhercleavage.“Datenight?”Henoddedattheemptywinebottleinoneofherhands,theemptyglassinherother,herlongmanicuredfingernails.

Itwas.Datenight,thatis,butnotwithhismother,Belle.

Deliciousignoredtheboy’sleerandpushedpasthim.“Don’tyouhaveacirclejerktoattend?”

“Nope.”Heshookhishead.“Wehadabigspermdriveatschooltoday.”

Deliciousknewhewasn’tkiddingbutdidn’thankertohearthedetails.Shetookherpurseoffthefoyertableandcheckedinside.Acertifiedletterhadarrivedthatafternoon.Withitsafelyinsideherpursesheheadedfortheapartment’sfrontdoor,saying,“Tellyourmomnottowaitup.”

Felixwasnobody’sfool.Heknewthelayoftheland,callingout,“Don’tgetbusted!”

Onthestreet,Deliciousstrodethroughthenight.Sherelaxedinthewarmairandallowedherhipstoroll,pushingherskirthigherthewidershestepped.Bystanders,mannishtypeswolfwhistledtheirpraise.Flannel-outfittedfemalesgrowledcomplimentsinherwake.Apolicecarpulledalongsideandmatchedherspeed,andshedarednotlookinitsdirection.Despitethewine,sheknewthefearwouldshowinhereyes.Shecouldheartheradiochatter.Agenerationseemedtopassbeforethecruiserswitchedonitsflashinglights.HereandnowDeliciousknewshewascaught.Herimaginationspunthescenario:TheGaysianpolicehadstakedoutherapartment,they’dbeenmonitoringhermovements,she’dbedeported.

Thered-and-bluelightswashedoverher.Thecar’ssirenwailed.Tiresbarkedagainstthepavementandthecruiserjettedoffinresponsetoanothercall.

Herlegsweakwithterror,Deliciousstumbledthroughadark,unmarkeddoorway.Itwasadive.Pre-AdjustmentDayskinmagazines,dog-eared,wiltinginwireracks,depictedhealthyall-maleandall-femalesexacts.ThecoversboretitleslikeSapphicClamDiggersandGreekButtPirates.Noonewantedthesevintagewankmagsfromsomebygonediscoera.Theseweresetdressing.Afront.

Abroodingskeletonofamansatonastoolbehindacounter.ShepaidhimafewTalbottdollarsforahandfulofmetaltokens.Secretedbehindthemagazineracks,hiddeninbackofthedustyglasscasesdisplayingpinkdildosandVHStapes,thereacurtaineddoorwayopenedontoadimcorridor.Deliciouspartedthestifffabricandsteppedthrough.Thesmellofsexwaspungent,andshestoodinoneplacewhilehereyesadjustedtothedark.Herfootstepsonthestickyfloormadepeelingsounds.Thisplace,thetawdryunderbellyofGaysia,herepeopleindulgedtheirillegalappetites.

Swimminginmurkyblacklight,thenumbersfourandsevenandthirteenseemedtohoverbeforehereyesbeforesherealizedtheyweresplashedoninastrokeortwooffluorescentpinkpaint.Theseandothernumberswerespacedatregularintervals,eachmarkingapeeling,splintereddoor.Movementcaughtherattention.Ablondman,histeethglowing,said,“Hey,chocolatelady...”

Menandwomen,blackseekingwhite,whiteseekingblack,allheterosexuals,allillegal,theylinedthedingyhallway,someexposingthemselvesinthehopeofenticingasexpartner.

Sheliftedahandandflashedhimherweddingring.

Heflashedhisown.

Shecontinuedalonginthatrank,crowdedspace.Splinteringdoorsopenedontocloset-sizedcubiclesinwhichsame-sexadultfilmsflickeredonstreakedvideoscreens.DeliciouschoseadoorbearingthenumberteninDay-Glopaint.Usedcondomslitteredthefloor.Condomsorworsestuckherheelstothefloor,tuggingtopulltheshoesfromherbarefeet.Aplasticchair,layeredwithcorruption,stoodinonecorner,andsheconsideredsittingbeforerememberingsheworenothingunderherskirttoprotecther.Shesteppedinsideandshutthedoorbehindher.

Thevideoscreenglowedwithtwoastonishinglyattractivemen,oneblack,onewhite,copulatingromanticallybesidealuxuriousswimmingpooloutsideofaregalmansion.InGaysiaraceminglingwaspermitted.Butgendermixingwasnot.

Aknockcameatthedoor,andamalevoicewhispered,“Hey,chocolatelady...”

Irked,Deliciouscrackedthedoor,readytocursesomeamorousstranger.

Inthedarkcorridorstoodastoopedfigure.Notthehandsomestrangerwho’daccostedherearlier,thismanwasfamiliar.Shegrabbedhimaroundonethin,palewristanddraggedhimintothecubicle.Oncetheywerebothinsidesheshutthedoorandblockeditbywedgingthefilthychairbeneaththeknob.Everysurfaceshetouchedfelteitherstickyorgreasy,andshewipedherhandsonherskirt.Eventhenhermouthwasseekingouttheman’s.Herhipsweregrindingintohis.Hishandswererovingoverher,slidingupherlegstodiscoverherwetreadiness.

Withoutprompting,herkneesbuckledandshesquattedlow.Herhandsfoughttoyankhisslacksdownhisslimhips,andherlipssoughttheopeninginhisboxershorts.Herlushmouthdidn’tgiveathoughttorepercussionsbeforetheywerecommittingoneofthemostheinouscrimesknowninGaysia.

Theresultshould’vebeenimmediate,buthismanhoodfailedtorespond.Sheworkeditwithherhandsoshecouldask,“Gentry,baby?”

Herhusbandgroanedsoftly.“Ican’t.”

Deliciousspatonherhandandkeptatit.“What’sup,baby?”

Highaboveher,Gentry’sfacewasshadowedandindistinct.“Wehadanextraspermdriveatworktoday.”

HewasreferringtothecollectionofviablespermfromallmalecitizensofGaysia.Itwasvoluntary,butnot.Notreally.Upstandingcitizenswereexpectedtodonatemassiveamountsofsementowardtheefforttoreproducechildren,thevastmajorityofwhichwouldbeexportedinordertoobtainthehomosexualsbeingretainedinCaucasiaandBlacktopia.Thephysicaldemandsofthesespermdriveshadallbuteradicatedrecreationalmalesex.Andthosemenwhocouldn’tmeettheirquotaorwhoseseedwassubpar,theywerecompelledtodonatemoneytowardthefundforransomingnewcitizens.ThesurvivalofGaysiadependedonthiseffort.

Deliciousgraspedthedismalsituation.HerGentryhaddonehisdutythricetoday.Hewasspent.

WhereasmeninGaysiawerecompelledtodonate,thewomenweren’twithouttheirownresponsibilitiestoensurethefutureofthenation.Throughouthistorymenhadbeenconscriptedtoperformmilitaryservice.They’dsurrenderedtheirbodiesandtheirlivestothestate.Inkeepingwiththisprecedent,nowwomenweredrafted.Ifselectedandsuitable,afemalecitizenofGaysiamustagreetoinsemination.Donatedseedwouldbeusedtocreateanewlife,andthewomanwouldcarryit.Allfertilewomenwereeligible,andnothingshortofamedicalemergencycouldexcusesomeonefromhermaternityservice.

Theresultingchildrenwerelargelyforexport,buttheywouldberaiseduntiltheAgeofDeclaration.Exportedornot,eachwouldequatetoanewcitizen.

ThatwasthereasonDelicioushadshavedherlegs.Themotivationforhertoriskherfreedom,tosneakdowntothis,thiswallowofdegradation.Squattingthere,sheworkedGentrywithbothherhandsandhermouth,buttonoavail.Nomatterhowbadlyshewantedtogetpregnant,tobearhischild,thatwasn’tgoingtohappentonight.Resigned,shereachedtowhereshe’dsetherpurseonthefoulfloor.Fromit,sheretrievedtheletterthathadarrivedthissameday.Gentryhelpedhertoherfeet,andshehandedhimtheenvelope.Thegovernmentknewshehadit.She’dbeenrequiredtosignforit.

Inthefaintlightfromthevideoscreen,herhusbandunfoldedthepaperandsquintedtoreadit.Onthescreen,inwhatwasclearlyapre-AdjustmentDayfilm,thetwomenwerehappilyejaculatinguponeachother’ssmilingfaces.Deliciouswatchedthisanointment,thinking,Whatawaste!

Gentrylookedather,hisbrowfurrowedinconfusion.“What’sthismean?”

Delicioustriedtosoundchipper.“I’vebeendrafted.”

Hecockedhishead.“What’sthatmean,‘drafted’?”Ifhedidn’tunderstanditwasbecausehedidn’twantto.

Accordingtothenotice,Deliciouswastosubmitforartificialinseminationwithintwenty-fourhours.Afterevadingthepolice,aftershe’dventuredintothissinkholeofdepravity,thecombinationofwineandfearfinallyhither.Unlessshecouldcoaxherhusbandtoloveher,she’dsoonbecarryingastranger’schild.Franticallyweeping,sheallowedherfallingtearstowethersmoothpalms,andDeliciousredoubledherhopelessefforttoarouseherbeloved’sflaccidmember.

Totheworldtheylookedliketwoplasticpacketsofketchupfromanyfastfoodrestaurant.Theirtemperaturegavetheonlyhintoftheirtruenature.That,andeachpacket,uponcloserinspection,provedtobetamperedwith.Oneedgeofeachhadbeencutopenandgluedshut,notheatsealedastheotheredges,butglued.

Thebiggergiveawaywasthattheyfeltlikeice.SocoldShastahadtosqueezethemgentlyinherfists,squeezingandreleasingthem,untiltheirthickplasticandsharpedgesfeltpliable.

ThegreatreceptionchambersofCharlie’spalacebustledwithcourtlife.Silksandtaffetassweptthegleamingwoodfloors,andruddyjewelsflashedinthesunlightfromtallwindows.Strollingtroubadoursstrummedlutesinanefforttolightenthegeneralmood.Thecourtphysicianhadbeensummoned,andallwaitedaboutinbatedconversation.AroundShastamilledtheformidablewivesofotherchieftains,theirpublicwives,adornedinthebootyplunderedfrommanyamuseumorgallery.Noneamongthemhadanyroyaltrainingbeyondservingasqueenofahomecomingdanceorseniorprom.Theyweretheprettiestputforwardbytheirsettlements.ChieftainBrachhadtakenashisfavoriteanimpoverishedyoungladyfromtheruinsofSeattle.Althoughheownedfieldwives

andhouseholdwivesaplenty,onlyCharliehadyettoclaimapublicwife.

Apassingfootmanofferedatrayofgrilledpeacocktongues.Shastaselectedone.Slyly,sheonlypretendedtoputthedelicioustonguebetweenherlips.Intruthshedeftlydroppedthetongueintoheramplecleavage.Initsstead,sheplacedoneofthetwoketchuppacketsinhermouth,tuckingitsecretlywithinhercheek.AsanotherwaiterbowedlowtopresentanassortmentofScotcheggsarrayedinanembossedsilverchafingdish,Shastarepeatedhersleight-of-hand,droppingtheeggsintohercleavagewhilehidingthesecondketchuppacketwithinheroppositecheek.

Thearomaoffoodrosefromherbodice,andshestruggledtoswallowherownsaliva.Hermouthmustbedrywhenthetestingtookplace.Herownnaturalsalivawouldbetrayher.Ifthelaboratoriesat23&Mewereaccurate,herspitwouldprovehertobeoffifty-fourpercentsub-Saharangeneticdescent,makingherineligibletoresideinCaucasiamuchlessbecomewifetoachieftain.

No,whatsheheldsquirreledawayinhercheekswasthepackagedsalivaofanundeniablywhitegirl.They’dhammeredoutanagreement.IfCharmwouldhelpShastasucceedinbecomingCharlie’spublicwife,ShastawoulduseherloftypositiontoassistCharminsomeyet-to-be-namedendeavor.

Atthehourappointedforthetrial,thegreatclockstruck.Theminstrelsfellsilent,andtheassembledroyalsfelltobendedknee.Amajordomoclickedhisheelsandannounced,“Thechiefsurgeonoftherealmapproaches!”

ThesurgeonwasamongCharlie’sinnercircle.Terrencehisnamewas,someformerinvalidwho’dbeenroustedfromhisdeathbedbythestirringwordsofTalbott.Hemarchedfromthefarendofthegallery,hisemeraldgreenTabardblazing,embroideredwiththread-of-gold.PearlsthesizeofSpanishpeanutsstuddedhiscodpiece.Toguessfromtheirbutterysoftness,histhigh-highbootscould’vebeenfashionedfromnothingexceptthefinestofpleather.

Whateverhisinfirmityhadbeen,thesurgeonshowednotraceofit.Afinecascadeofblondringletsfelltohisshoulders.BeforereachingShasta,hepausedinthecenterofthecrowdandloweredhisheadwhileheintonedashortprayer.“OOdin,fatherofThorandBaldr,”heliftedhisvoicetowardtheelaboratelycofferedandfrescoedceiling,“Odin,bearerofthespearGungnirandhusbandofFrigg...”

Listening,Shastatriednottothinkofthetastypeacocktonguethatwasevennowlodgedbetwixtherlovelybreasts,lestshesalivate.Sheheldherjawslacktopreventperforatingtheketchuppacketsandprematurelyfillinghermouthwithpricelesswhite-girlspit.

“OOdin,”thesurgeoncontinued,“wepraythatthiswomanprovespureenoughtoserveasourqueen.”Inclosing,heplungedthefingersofoneexperthandintohissporran.Fromitsdepthsheremovedsomethingthatshinedlikeahalointhechamber’sgloom.Itwasrumoredhepossessedfantastichealingpower.AndthatuponreadingthewordsoftheTalbottbookhe’dthrownhimselffromhisdeathbedandpledgedhisnewfoundvigortoservingCaucasia.

TheshiningobjecthepresentedwasasterilePetridish,andwithitheapproachedShasta.

Silently,shepursedherlipsandsuckedhermouthdry.TheScotcheggshe’ddroppedintoherbodiceslippedlower,andshecouldfeelitswarmthagainsthertensedabs.Shemustnotbitethepacketsuntiltheritualbegan.

NoformalmedicaltraininghadTerrence,butitwaswidelyknownthathispalettewassorefinedthatwithasinglesipofaperson’ssamplehecoulddetectone’sentireracialbackground.HekneltbeforeShasta,holdingoutthePetridishlikeanoffering.

This,thiswashermoment.Shebentherfaceovertheemptyvessel.Usingherbackteethshegnawedarentinonepacket.Theforeigntasteofastrangegirl’scolddroolfloodedhertongue.Sheburstthesecondpacket,andthesensationdoubled.HermouthwasawashintheforeigntangofCharm’sbodilyfluids.CoolerthanShastaexpected,thefluidssquirtedbetweenhermolars.TheslipperywetnessofCharmcoatedShasta’stongue,somuchsothatwhenshebentherfacetodribbleadaintysampleintotheglassdish,agushingtideofgirlsalivafellfromherlips.

ThedownpourswampedtheedgesofthePetridish.Terrence,thesurgeon,lookedupinsurprise.Hisextendedarmstrembledwiththeaddedweight.

Shastablushedfuriously.Inwhatshehopedwasanelegantgesture,shewipedherdrippingmouthwiththebillowingsleeveofhersilkgown.Resistshedidtheimpulsetotwistherheadasideand

spitandspituntiltheflavorofCharm’ssalivaryglandshauntedhertastebudsnomore.

Round-eyedwithshockwasthenoblecompanyinattendance.

Thesurgeonassessedthebrimmingdish.Inahushed,awedtone,Terrencegushed,“Milady,thehueofyourexpectorantshowsgreatpromise.”Whosoever’ssalivathiswas,itglistenedinhishands.Asilverglinthighlighteditsbeauty.Thefrothofitshowedbluish,suchwasitspurity.Shastasaidasilentprayerthespitwasn’thers.

Thetworupturedpacketsstillrestedinsidehercheeks.Discreetlysonottobenoticed,shefishedthefingersofonehandfardownbetweenherbreastsandsoughtoutthestashedpeacocktongueandtheScotchegg.ToridhermouthofCharm’staste,shequicklygulpeddownbothoftheraredelicacies.

Theroyalsurgeonliftedthesampletohisnose.Hesniffedatthegooeyliquid.Heputthebrimtohislips,tippedit,andbegantosip.Hesloshedthesamplebackandforthbetweenhischeeks.Hesmackedhislips.

Dawsonhadneverrebuiltawoman.Nottodate.Likeeveryman,he’dseenwomentotaled.Rolledsobad,awoman’sframesotwistedshe’dneverbeputbackintoproperalignment.Fitonlyforthejunkyard.He’dseenafinewomansoneglectedthatfinallyherchassishadrustedthrough.Andhe’dseenolderwomengiventhehotrodtreatment,layeredwithBondotosmooththeircurves,trickedoutwithHookerheaders,andrepaintedincolorsthatwerebarelystreetlegal.

Heinspectedthegalhe’dfoundontheroad.Tuckeredoutasshewas,she’dfallenasleepinthecabofhisrig,leanedagainstthesidedoor.Littlemorethanapileofdirtylaundry.Agalwithherupbringing,shefiguredthathistoryonlymovedinonedirection.TheTalbottbookhadprovedherwrong.Withthepriceonherhead,shewasadeadPhDwalking.

Thetwo-lanehighwayskirtedfieldsthatstretchedtothehorizon.Asmanyrowsofeggplantsastherewereripplesintheocean.Tendedbyaplatoonofstoopedwomenwithheadscarvesknottedtocovertheirhair.Refugeesfromthecities.Thecitiesweren’tsustainable.Nevermindalltherecyclingandwindturbinepower,citieswereneversustainable.They’dcollapsedintopitsofcannibalismwiththeluckysurvivorsstreamingintothecountryside.They’dgonebeggingtoserveontheestatesofthechieftains.Nocounterrevolutionwasorganizinginthehills,livingonhardtackandplottingtoregainpowerwithareally,really,scathinglybrilliantpoem.

Thethugsandgangstershadthegunssonowtheyruledtheirownnationofbondsmenandthralls.ThebrosandredneckshadthegunssonowtheyreignedovertheserfsofCaucasia.Theright-mindedprogressivegungrabberswiththeirright-side-of-history,theyhadtheircivil-rightslawyersandNinthCircuitCourt.They’dlivedtheirentirelivesonpaper.Iftheysurviveditwasasgratefulslaves.

ThePhDgalstirredinhersleep.Dawsontriedtorecallhernamefromthelist.Herbountywassixteenhundredvotes,andthosecouldbeauctionedforgoodmoney.Hernameescapedhim.Ithadbeensomethingmade-up.

Sheblinkedaway.

Hedidn’tbreakeyecontactuntilshelookedaway.Hedidn’tneedto.Theroadswereempty.Hecouldfeedher.Gethersomemilk,abigglassofbuttermilk.Theweddingringdeepinhispantspockettoldhimthiswouldn’tbesoeasy.

Sheslumpedlow.Hidinglow.Andasked,“Whereareyoutakingme?”

“Canada,”Dawsonlied.Onthehorizonhoveredalargewhitesign.Mountedatopapole,itturnedslowly.Inlargeblacklettersagainstawhitebackgrounditread:“WhitesOnly.”

Dawsonasked,“Howdoessomebreakfastsound?”

Shedashedtearsfromhereyes.“Ineedtofeelsafesomewhere.”

Dawsonknewshe’dneverfeelsafeagain.

Itwasjustaswellthiscalamityhadbefallenher,hefigured.She’drisentopowerbyrepeatingtheopinionsofpeoplewho’drepeatedtheopinionsofpeoplewho’drepeatedtheopinionsofpeople.Ifthatwasn’talineageequaltoandjustascorruptasthelineagesofAdjustmentDay,Dawsondidn’tknowjack.Historyhadsavedthiswoman.She’dbeengivenachance,likeScarlettO’Hara,tobetestedanddeveloparealpowerofherownmaking.

Thecryinghadcleanedherfacesome.Minusthecrud,shewasn’tsohardontheeyes.Shelookedattheplowedlandscapewiththedazedexpressionofasleepwalkerwho’dwokenupfromalongdreamaboutuniversalequalityandguaranteedhumanrights.

Dawsonremembered.HernamewasRamantha.

Heparkedinthegravellotbesidethediner,andtheywalkedinandsatatared-toppedtable.Flouncedginghamcurtainshunginthewindows.Theymatchedthefrilledapronofthewaitresswhoasked,“WhatcanIgetyoufolks?”Herbreath,sweetsmellingfromJuicyFruitchewinggum.

Dawsonasked,“What’sgood?”Ajukeboxplayedcountrymusicatlowvolume.

Thewaitresstwiddledherpenbetweenthefingersofonehand.“TheBullConnorWhiteBeanBurritoisnice.”Sheglancedbackatthekitchenpass-throughwindow.“AndtheEvaBraunWhiteCheddarMac’n’Cheeseisrealgood.”

Ramanthaheldhermenutoohigh.Shewasclearlyhidingbehindit.Muffled,shesaid,“I’llhavetheKlanBurger.”

Thewaitresseyedher.Shepoppedhergumandasked,“GrandDragonorGrandWizard?”

Dawsontranslated,“Shemeanslargeorsmall.”

Thewaitressasked,“Honey,mayIseesomeidentification?”

“What?”Ramanthalookedoutfrombehindthemenu.“I’mthirty-five.”

Dawsonsaid,“I’llvouchforher.”Itwasn’tproofofagethewaitresswanted,itwasproofofethnicity.Asachieftainofthefirstlineage,heknewnoonewoulddoubthisword.Heorderedacupofcoffee.

TheprofessororderedaSkinheadSkinlessChickenBreastSandwichandaWoodrowWilsonEggSaladSandwichandaLothropStoddardVanillaSundaewithMarshmallowSauceandWhippedCream.

Hesippedhiscoffeeandwatchedherdigintothemountainoffood.

Ifshestunkhe’dgrownusedtoherstink.Bythelookofherstringyarmsshecouldn’tfightoffmuch.Hecouldravishherjustfortheeffortofpushinghertotheground.

Theweddingringfeltbiginhispocket.

Dawsonflaggedthewaitressandaskedforthecheck,allthewhiletellinghimselfthatassoonasthesunsethewasn’tgoingtorapethishalf-deadwoman.Nope.Positivelynot,nowaywasherapingherandstranglingherskinnyneckandcuttingoffhereartosellsohecouldbuyhisoldladythattreadlesewingmachineshe’dbeenmooningafterforbetterthanayear.

TheirswasthegrandestweddingthefledglingnationofCaucasiahadeverwitnessed.Aftertheregalpromenadeoftheroyalfamilies,eachchieftainbedeckedinjewelsandartificialfurs,leadingacontingentofpregnantwives...afterthelavishbanquetofthelineages...afterthecourtiershadtoastedeachotherwithchalicesofhealthyurine...aftereachpublicwifeoftherealmhadbestowedherbestwishesuponQueenShasta...assheandCharliestoodontheparapetsandwavedtotheirthousandsofserfs...itwasthenatightformationofjumbojetlinerspasseddirectlyoverhead.

Hiseyesfollowingthem,Charliedidsay,“There.ThelastoftheJewsarehomeboundforIsrael.Agoodomen.Letuscelebrate!”

Fortheirnuptialtouraroundtheestate,anopencarriagewroughtfromsolidsilver—agreatheavything—waspulledbyavisiblystraining,enormousherdoftinywhitelambs.

Wholemuttonturnedslowlyonspitsaboveragingbonfires.Theairredolentwithmeatysmellsandthestinkofgunpowder,thelatterfromthecelebratoryfireworks.Meaddidflow,andbodiceswereroundlyrippedtothesoundofmerrypipers.

Intheirfirstweddedmomentalone,Charliedidtakehisnewwifeboldlyinhisarms.InnoblemodestyheaccededtoShastathathiswasasimplehard-laboring,tax-payingCaucasianpeniswithoutthedimensionsorthestaminaaccreditedtotheblackorthehomosexual.Hismightnotbringherthefulfillmentofothers,buthewouldstrivetosowamultitudeofseedsinher.Charlie

wouldsowherandkeepsowingher,relentlessly,forshewouldbehismate.He’dsowheranytimehedesired,dayornight,headacheornone.Andhe’dsowherinanypositionhecouldimagineandsowherwearingcostumesandashecompelledhertopretendtobehissecond-gradeteacher,Mrs.Halliday,orasexyairlinestewardess,maybe,orhe’dsowheralltiedupbecausetheoverarchingedictofCaucasiawas“ProgressCanWait”andinlinewiththeteachingsofTalbottmillionsofmenhaddiedtocreateandprotecttheformerlyunitedstates,thosemenhadgiventheirlivesandperishedinunspeakableagonysonowwomenshoulddedicatethemselvestopreservingthenation,andinsteadoflandminesblastingthemintoscreaminggoreormustardgasreamingouttheirlungs,thisgenerationofwomenwouldbereveredbyanewnationofoffspringandfuturegenerations,forperpetuatingthewhiterace.

Shasta,Charlieextolled,heldthedestinyofCaucasiabetweenherlegs.

Stillattiredinherweddingfinery,Shastadiddemurelyexcuseherselftomakewater.Charliegaveherapeckonthecheekandtoldhernottotarry.Theyhadyettocuttheirtoweringweddingcake.Norhadtheydancedtothetraditionalmadrigals.

VeileddidShastaimplementthenextphaseofherplan.

TherusewithCharm’sspithadworked.Astheirnewlycrownedqueen,thepalaceguardcoulddenyShastaaccesstonoarea.QuicklyshescurriedtoCharlie’shomeoffice.Thereshebootedhisantiquecomputermachine.Hiswasnogreatintellect,andshereadilycircumnavigatedhiscrudesecuritycodes.Hispasswordwasabitcryptic:“mom&dadRIP.”Thedevicebuzzedandblinked.Itsscreenbegantoscrollthenamesofthelivingandthetargeted.Thosewhohadbeenrelocatedtootherhomelands.ThosewhoremainedinCaucasiaandtowhomtheywerepresentlyindentured.Amongthesenamesshefoundnotthatofhertruelove.

ForShastadidloveonlyoneman,andcontrarytoappearancesitwasnotCharlie.

AndasthefireworksbegantoboomagainsttheduskingskydidsheactivatetheSearchfunctionandtypeinthename“WalterBaines.”

Backintheworldyoustillknow...intheBeforeTimes...WalterwhisperedtoTalbottwhiletheoldmanslept.HehelduptelephonephotosofShasta.Hewhisperedaboutherwisdomandtalents.Aboutherbeautyandstrengthandgrace.Andastheoldmandozedanddrowsedandsnored,WalterheldthepinkfoamearplugsoTalbottcouldn’thelpbutcatchawhiffofitsacridperfume.

Jamalcouldn’thelpbutshowoff.Daysandeveningshe’dsitwiththecreatureinthebygonegloryoftheparlor.Thecreaturebraggedupthemenintheancestralportraits,boastingabouttheiractsofbraveryandscientificachievements.Leftunsaidwastheconstantdrumbeatdeclaringthepasttobeagoldeneraandthepresentaswampoffailure.

ToremedythesituationJamalsummonedthehousekeeperandaskedhertodressBarnabasforaday’souting.Nothingstressful.NotmuchmorethanajaunttoanearbycitytosurveythechangesthathadtakenplacesincethefoundingofBlacktopia.

Arabellapulledaface.“Youdorealize,”shesaid,“thatsoulhasn’tsetfootoffthisfarminyears.”

Jamalassuredher,“All’sthemorereason.”

Barnabasdidn’tappearpartialtotheidea,either.Itcouldn’tsetfootoverthethresholdwithoutwantingtogobackforadifferentshirtortochangeitsshoes.

Jamal’sfirstpointofpridewasthelevitator.Thesameelectro-spiritualprinciplesthatfloatedthegreatspacepyramids,thissameblack-basedtechnologyallowedpersonaltransportvehiclesthatamountedtosmallfloatingplatformsthatcouldskimalongatincrediblespeeds.Throughouthistorywhitemenhadclaimedthatmagiccarpetswereafictionsimplybecausenowhitemancouldduplicatetheachievement.Vehemently,whiteshadlongsoughttohumiliateblacksbyclaimingthelatterhadneverinventedthewheel.

TheBarnabascreaturetentativelyclimbedaboardthefloatingplatformasJamalexplained.BlacksinAfricahadnouseforwheelsbecausetheyflew.They’dnouseforanywrittenlanguagebecausetheycombinedtheirwisdomutilizingthetechniqueofcognitiveamalgamation.AllofthiswisdomhadbeensecretlylockedawaywhenEuropeanshadbeguntoinvadethecontinent.

Barnabasgrippedthefrontedgeoftheplatformwithmetaphoricallywhiteknuckles.Therushofairrustleditsmassoffrizzedhair.Thevehiclebeganitsriseabovethetrees,abovethehouseandbarns.“Lawdy,massahJamal,”thecreaturebawled,“Gawdain’tnev-ahintentioneduztahflah!”

AstheysoaredabovetheopencountryJamallecturedonthestateofthingssinceAdjustmentDay.Gays,who’dlivedsuchgadaboutandfootlooselives,inGaysiatheywereyokedtothenationalcampaignforreproduction.Draconianspermdrivesleftmostmenwithlittlemoneyorenergy.Andwomenhadlostallcontrolovertheirreproductiverights.Healthywomenwererequiredtoregister,andeventuallytobeconscriptedtobear—notarms—butbabies!Tosustaintheirpopulationviaexportleftthemwithscanttimeforsadomasochisticanticsormeth-fueledcircuitparties.Jamalshoutedtobeheardabovethewind,“Liberationhasenslavedthem!”

CitizensofCaucasiawerenobetteroff.Wherethey’dexcelledinscience,theynowbannedit.They’dturnedtheirfocustoJeffersonianagricultureandreinstatingawhite-Europeanculture.ThegreatmetropolisesofCaucasiahadswiftlydeclinedintodeadlyno-gozoneswheredisplacedliberal-artsmajorsstalkedeachotherasfood.Theluckyhadescapedtoindenturethemselvestochieftainsandlaboronthehugefood-producingestates.

Belowthelevitator,thelandsofBlacktopiaappearedwithouthousesorfences.Allroadways,powerpoles,andothersignsofhumancivilizationhadbeenerased.Intheirplacewildanimalsroamed.Sleekherdsofzebras.Hornedmassesofwildebeests.JamaltriedtoreadBarnabas’sexpression.ThePeabodyPlantationstoodalone,thelastsurvivorofthemanydynasticseatsthathaduntilrecentlyfilledtheregion.Thecreaturecouldonlystare,itsmouthagog.

Likeamirage,therainbow-coloredlights,thespiresanddomesofacityappearedinthedistance.UnlikeCaucasia,thepopulationsofBlacktopiahadcoalescedintoitscities,transformingthemintomagnificencewhileallowingthegreaterlandscapetorevertbacktoanalmostlimitlessnaturepreserve.ThefaunaofMotherAfricahadbeenintroducedandhadflourished.Thelevitatorcarriedthemabovetheheadsofwallowinghipposandpreeninglions.Theydippedtobetterobservefiercepacksofhyenas.Aparadise,itamountedto,andJamalfeltjustifiedinhispride.

Everywonderthewhitemanhaddismissedasafable,hereitexisted.ThecitytheyapproachedrivaledallthelegendsaboutAtlantis.Blackshadresurrectedallthepyro-spiritualandelectro-expressivetechnologiesthey’dlongkepthidden.These,thesacredlawsofsoul-metrics,hadneverbeenappropriatedtoenrichthewhiteman’sbrutalempire.

AsachieftainofthefirstlineageJamalwouldbewarmlywelcomedintoanyhome.

Thelevitatorswervedandloopedbetweenthedramatic,multicoloredskyscrapers.Floweringvinescascadeddownfromwindowsandbalconieslikebrilliantflags.TheBarnabascreaturecraneditsneckasifsearchingforanyvestigeofthepreviouscorruptcivilizationbuiltbywhitepeople.MeremonthshadelapsedsinceAdjustmentDay.“MassahJamal,”itstammered,“how?”

“Muse-O-Metrix,”Jamalanswered.Heexplainedthattheharmonicgiftsofhisracehadmuchdeeperapplicationsthanthewhitemanhadeversuspected.Whenasufficientpopulationofblacksharmonizedinunison,thepoweroftheircombinedsongwouldrestructurephysicalmatter.Eachmassivebuildingamountedtothefrozenmusicofasinglebeautifulsong.Indeed,everypinnaclesoaredlikeacrescendo.

Jamalsteeredthelevitatortowardaprominentedifice.Domedandbuttressed,itdwarfedtheless-imposingstructuressurroundingit.AtthegatewayaliveriedrobotassistedhimandBarnabastodisembark.Theyenteredthroughdazzlingcrystallinedoorsandcrossedaplushlobbyalivewithbloomingtropicalplantsandfree-flyingparrotsandcockatiels.

Barnabas,cowed,whispered,“Lawdymassah,hooliv-ahhee-rah?”Thewhispersechoedbackfromthevaultedceilingandthechamber’stroveofpricelessantiquities.

Jamaldidn’tshushthecreature.Hetookpityonthestoopedfreakthatwasshrinkingitselfeversmallerinfear.Barnabaswasbeyondtheageforfindingoutitwasfullofshit.

Pastthelobbynonebutasinglepairofdoors,heavilysculptedfromwhatappearedtobesolidgold,sowarmandsobright,onlythesedoorsstood.Jamaltouchedadiscretebuttonandchimessounded.Thedoorsswunginwardtorevealarobotattiredinatuxedo.Inawarmculturedvoice,thisrobotbid,“Greetings,Jamal.Isyourmotherexpectingyou?”

Therobotusheredthemintoaluminouschamber.Itheldthemuffledsilenceofagreenhouse.Orchidswererootedintheintricatelytiledwalls,andtheirtremblingblossomsscentedtheairwithsweetness.Followingtherobot’sgesture,JamalandtheBarnabascreatureseatedthemselvesonexpensivewickersettees.Theyacceptedtallhighlycoloreddrinksofferedbyarobotdressedinalacyapronandcap.

Hardlyweretheysettledbeforeanotherdooropenedandarushofcolorsandperfumesweptinto

theirpresence.Aswirlofiridescentsilkskirtrevealedtwoperfectlysculptedgamsstridingtowardthem.BraidedhairglintedwithTahitianpearlsandplatinumbeads.“Mydarling,”saidthedulcetvoiceofagoddess.Slenderandregal,shecrossedtokissJamallightlyonbothcheeks.Hereyesfellonthecreatureandherrefinedfeaturestwisted.Atthesightofthisstaineddwarf,hersmoothfaceshriveledwithconfusionandfear.

JamalandtheBarnabascreaturestoodtogreether.

Notaheartbeatpassedbeforeshe’dregainedherqueenlycomposure.“Hello.”Sheofferedalanguidhand,thefingersweightedwithdiamondrings,thewristloadedwithemeraldbracelets.“IamJamal’smother.”Herexpressionbetrayednoneofherearlieralarm.

Jamalhadalwaysadmiredhismom.Richorpoor,she’dalwaysbeenaclassact.Andassheacceptedthewithered,discoloredpawofthecreature,hisrespectgrewbeyondallbounds.Shethrewhimalookofconcernmaskedbehindaserenesmile,markedonlybecausehereyecontactlastedasmidgentoolong.Hersilentnodsummonedarobotbearingasilvertrayofamuse-bouches.“Ihopeyoulikenightingaletongues,”shesaid.

Addedtherobotinascratchy,affectlessvoice,“They’rebite-sized.”

Jamalwatchedwithmilddelightasthecreaturepickedfromamongthedelicacies.“Eye’sbeBarn-ah-bus,”itsaid,andpoppedatidbitintoitsgrinningmouth.

Hismothermaintainedhercomposureasthecreatureregaledthemwithtalesaboutfarmlife.“DatMizzJo,shebe’sahmons-tahtahworksfer,”itsaidthroughamouthfulofpartiallymasticatedtongues.ItwentontodescribemenialchoresandhowMissJosephinehadfledimmediatelyfollowingAdjustmentDay.“DatMassahTal-bott,hebe’satroohee-ro!”

Jamal’smothertookthisinstride.“Mysonhaslongbeenobsessedwithlivinginthatparticularhouse...”

TheBarnabascreaturecasthimapuzzledlook.

Jamalgavehismotherasidewaysglance,oneeyebrowraisedtowarnher.“Yes,”headded.“Wehavefamilyhistoryinthearea.”

Thecreaturedidagoggle-eyeddoubletake.“Wuzya’llfamblyslay-vus?”

Jamal’smothermotionedforarobottorefreshtheirdrinks.“Somethinglikethat...,”shesighed.

Theypassedapleasantafternoon.Jamal’smothershepherdedthemintoherkitchenwherethefleshgeneratorprovidedadeliciousluncheon.SheexplainedproudlyhowthetechnologywasbasedonHeLacells,immortalcellsthatcontinuedtoreproducethemselvesindefinitely.ThesecellshadbeeninventedbyablackwomanandusedtoaltertheDNAofanimals,creatingmassesofbeef,chicken,andporkthatspontaneouslyclonedthemselves.Thefleshgeneratoritselfwasahugecylinderofmeatthatturnedslowlyunderheatlamps.Theexteriorwasalwaysasavorycookedlayerreadytobecarvedawayandeaten.Atthecoreweretheever-replicatingcells,fedbyaconstantstreamofaminoacidspumpedthroughthespindleatthecoreofthecylinder.ToJamalitlookedlikenothingmorethananold-schoolgyroconegrillingonaverticalrotisserie,butinthiscasethetaperingamalgamofbonelessfleshwasalivingthing,rawandvitalatthecore,butconstantlydyingandbeingcookedontheoutside.Thescentwasintoxicating.

Theywatchedthemeatrotatesmoothly.Itsweatedcleargreasethatraninrivuletsdownitsappetizingflanks.“Thetrueblessingisthatwenolongerneedtoslaughteranimals,”saidJamal’smother.Thecore’sgeneticallyimmortalcellswerelikeasourdough“starter”thatperpetuateditselfgiventherightconditions.Everyhouseholdincludedsuchagenerator,thustheanimalsofBlacktopiacarousedincompletesafetyandfreedom.Eventhecarnivoreswerefedfromsimilarfleshgenerators.Fullysatiatedonimmortalmeat,thelionsdidinfactliedownwiththelambs.BlacktechnologyhadcreatedHeavenonEarth.

Barnabasrecoiledatfirst,butasinglemouth-wateringbitemadeitaconvert.

Jamal’smotherleanedclosetothecreatureasifsharinganintimateconfidence.“Idohopeyoucanconvincemysontodemolishthatoldfarmandassumehisplaceofprestige,hereinthecity.”ShelookedpointedlyatJamal.Hertonewasprickly.“Hisobsessionwiththatancienthomesteadisentirelyunhealthy.”

Heandhismotherhaddebatedthispointmanytimes.Insteadofengagingonthetopic,JamalnotedthetimeandinsistedontakingBarnabashome.

Thecreaturefellsilentontheirtripbackhome.ThesightofsomanywondershadclearlyshakenBarnabas.Itglancedaboutwithbulging,confusedeyes.

Jamalfeltahugesympathy,almostafamilialaffectionforit.

Aheavy,inkytearwashedalighterstripedownitscheek.Itspokehaltingly,“Ahah-soomyah’llwanztahee-rad-ah-kateMizzJo’sfamblyplay-s?”

Jamalfixedthecreaturewithacompassionateexpression.“Ipromise,”hevowed,“thataslongasyoulivethathousewillstandasyourhome.”

TheBarnabascreaturegazedintothedistance.There,thefamiliarbarnsandmanorhousewereslowlycomingintosight.Inthebackdrop,thesunwassettingrapidly.

Bingheldthebongtohismouth,sightingdownthelengthofitasifitwerearifle.Heheldacigarettelightertothepackedbowlandflickedthelighterasifhewerepullingatrigger.Heinhaledsohardhewentcross-eyed.Withhislungsfull,heshouted,“Bang!Bang!Bang!”expellingdopesmokelikeburstsofgunsmoke.

Hejerkedthebongfromsidetosideasiffiringonnewtargets,thepeppermintschnappsinsideitsloshing.Hesightedafinaltargetthroughthebongandpuffedoutamuffled,“Bang.”

Felixclutchedhisheartinbothhandsandfellbackwardagainstagarbagecan.“Yougotme,”hecroaked,“I’mdead.”

BinghandedthelightertoFelix.Heloweredthebongandturnedhisattentiontoreloadingthebowl.“Alivedefinesdead,”hesighed.“Youneverfeelasaliveaswhenyoumakesomebodyelsedead.”

Hedescribedhowithadfelttobeintheshootinggalleryofthelegislature.Bing’sfavoritetopic.Theysat,justthetwoofthem,inthealleybackofFelix’sapartmenthouse.

Deliciouswasout.Felix’smomwashome,whichwaswhyhewashidingoutdoors,pullingbonghits.Beingalonewithhismomwasagonythesedays.Shewasforeverguilt-trippinghimtonotdeclarehispreference,towaitatleastayear,tostayathomeandkeephercompany.ButwhenheconsideredanotheryearinGaysia,anotherhands-offyearwatchingeveryoneelsefindlovewhileeverypussywasoff-limitstohim,thewaitmadehimcrazy.

Binghandedhimthebong,saying,“Ican’tbelieveyou’renothomo.”ItwasokayforBingtoknow.Bingwasanationalhero,achieftainofthefirstlineage.He’dstoodinthespectator’sgalleryandputastoptotheoldorder,whereweaklingshadpanderedandliedtowinthepopularitycontestpeopleusedtocall“politics.”

ForBingnothingwouldevercomparetoAdjustmentDay.Thatwaswhyhe’dbecomeastoner,becausehe’dnevermatchtherushofblowingawaytheframeworkofhisoppression.

Felixtookthebong,seeingtheinsideofBing’sforearm.Thetattootherebelowtherolled-upsleeveofhisshirt.Felixasked,“IsthatAndyWarhol?”

Bingtwistedhisarmtoreadhisowntattoo.“It’sTalbott.”Heasked,“DidItellyouImethim?”

Felixhadthebongaroundhislipsashesaid,“Onlyamilliontimes.”Hiswordssoundedmuffledinsidethetubeofit.Thetattooread:

IntheFutureEveryoneWillBeShotforFifteenMinutes.

“Yeah,”Bingsaid,“Iwastherewhenhesaidit.”He’dtoldthestorysomanytimes,aboutTalbottbeinglashedtoachairwithleatherbeltsandducttape,nakedandbloodiedbutstillissuingorders.AboutthechieftainseachseekinganaudiencewithhimintheweeksleadinguptoAdjustmentDay.

Felixexhaled,asking,“How’ditfeel?”Andheinhaledthroughthebong.Theschnappsbubbled,andthemint-tastingsmokefloodedhismouth.

Theybothknewwhathemeant.Anditfeltwonderful.Killingyourenemyfeltbetterthanthebiggestlotterywin.Itfeltlikehavingthelastlastword.Theultimatevictory.AsitwaswrittenintheTalbottbook:

TheCoreHumanDriveIstoDominateandtoAvoidBeingDominated.

Andasthebookwasquicktoadd:

AnyoneWhoDeniesThatFactIsSimplyTryingtoDominateYou.

Felixheldthesmokeinhischestandlistened.

“Sowhereyouheaded?”askedBing.HemeantCaucasiaorBlacktopia.ItwasatestamenttoGaysiathatBingcouldsithere,takingdeepbonghitsinacatpiss–smellingalleyatmidnight.InCaucasiaandBlacktopiacitizenswithapreponderanceofAsiangeneticsweredeportedtoAsia.JewswenttoIsrael.Mexicantypesself-exiledtoMexico.

Andforthefirsttime,anideadawnedonFelix.He’dneverseenBingwithanotherman.MaybeBingwasaheterosexualhidingoutlikehisownparents.MaybethereasonBingwasalwaysbakedwasbecausehedidn’twanttobeshippedofftoanothercontinent,yethewasn’tahomosexual,either.Bingmightbesomeonehecouldtrustwithallofhissecrets.

Felixheldhisbreathandshrugged.He’dcrossthegenetictestingbridgewhenhecametoit.Hestillhadtofilloutthepaperworkforhisformaldeclarationofpreference.

“Killingiskilling,”saidBing.Itwasthebestrush,barnone.Itwaslikewinningthebiggestwin.Toseeyourenemiesburstopen.Tohearthemfallsilentandtoknowthey’dneveragainhurtyou.Itwastheendtoyourworstfears.Theconfirmationthatyoudon’tneedtobeanyone’sslave.Binghadtoldthestorysomanytimes,inbars,infrontofschoolassemblies.Heamountedtoalivingfossil.

Astonedlivingfossil.ThethoughtalmostmadeFelixlaugh.Becauseafossilwasbydefinitionencasedinstone,andBing’seyesweresofuckingbloodshot...evenasherecountedforcingsometerrifiedsenatortofilltheburialpitsatgunpoint.

“Toremovethepersonfromaperson,”Binginsisted,“toreducesomebodytonothingbutmeatandhair,it’slikeamagictrickonlyreal.Youknow?”Hecoughed,chokingouttheword.“Isn’tthatwhatamiracleis?”

Felixnoddedvehementlyandhandedbackthebong.HedebatedtellingBingthewholetruth.Alittlestoned,hetrustedthatBingwouldunderstand.BinghadkepthissecretaboutbeingheterosexualsinceFelixhadmovedinnextdoortothem.“Promisemesomething,”Felixasked.“Willyoucheckinonmymom?LikeonChristmas?Justsoshe’snottotallyalone.”

Packingthebowl,Bingdismissedhisconcern.“YourmomhasDelicious.Deliciousisgoingtohaveakid.”

Felixwaiteduntilthebongwasreloadedandhisfriendwassparkingthebowl.AsBingsuckeddownatoke,Felixmarveled.Theset-upwasperfect.Anditwasn’tjusttheweedtalking.Bingwasobviouslyafugitive,too,livingnextdoor.FelixcouldmakehisdeclarationandfindhisownfutureknowingthatBingwouldstayaround.Granted,Felix’sdadwouldbehere,buthecouldn’triskcrossingpathswithhissecretwife.That,andDeliciouswashere,butshewaspracticallyastranger.Bing,hisbestfriend,wouldcontinuetowatchoverFelix’smotherwhileshegrewold.

Thebowlfulofdopeflaredbrightorangeinthedark.Theschnappsgurgled.

“Don’ttakethisthewrongway,”Felixbegan.Helookedforlightinanynearbywindows.Theonlyglowingwindowwashighupinhisapartmentwherehismomwouldbesittingaloneinthekitchen.Heasked,“We’refriends,right?”

Bing’schestswelledwiththesmoke.HisredeyesmetFelix’s,andhenodded.

Felixcontinued,“Iknowwhyyou’rehere,inGaysia...”

Bingcockedhishead,stillholdingthesmoke.

“You’relikemyparents,”Felixexplained.“Mydadisblack.Theybothmovedhereclaimingtobehomosexual,butthey’resecretlymarriedandgettogetheronthesly—”

ThesmokeexplodedfromBing’smouthinahuge,“What!”

Felixhadfuckedup.

Thebongsetcarefullyaside,Bingglowered.“Saywhat?”Loud.Awindowappearedasinsidealightflashedon.Anotherwindowappeared.

Felixheldupbothhandstoshushhisfriend.“Nothing.Ajoke.”

“SodoesDeliciousknow?”askedBing.Hiseyesblinked.“OrisDeliciousaheterosexual,too?”

Forthefirsttime,FelixcouldseetheoldBing.Themanhisfriendhadbeen,whocouldshoulderarifleandmowdowneveryoneheconsideredanenemy.Abovethem,otherlightsoutlinednewwindows.Peoplewouldhear.Onewindowscrapedopenandavoicecalleddown,“It’slate!”

Felixlunged.HeclampedahandoverBing’smouthandheldit,whispering,“Pleasedon’t.”

Thetwograppled,tumblingsidewaysonthelitteredground.Wrestlinginthecigarettebuttsandbottlecaps.Bing’sfingernailsclawedatFelix’shand,clawedathisfaceandneck,butFelixheldon,whispering,“Youcan’t.”Astheirlegskickedovergarbagecansandpeopleshouteddownattheminthedark,BingclobberedFelixwithafisttothehead.Bingbashedhimbetweentheeyes,andFelixfeltheatsprayfromhisnose,andhetastedsaltandpeppermintschnapps,andhefeltBing’sscreamsmuffledagainsthispalm.BothofBing’shandswerepoundinghimintheribs.HiskneespummeledFelix’sgut.

Morewindowswerebright,andfaroverheadstoodtheoutlineofFelix’smom,theupperhalfofher,herheadandshouldersoutlinedinthelightfromtheirkitchen.

Bing’steethsankintohispalm,andFelixsnatchedhishandback.

Bing’svoicerangout,“Heterosexuals!Heterosexuals!”

AndFelix’sbleedingfingersfoundthelongtubeofthebongandgrabbeditup,andbroughtitdown.Theglassbrokeacrosssomething,andBingfellsilent.Bloodandpeppermintschnappssplashedeverywhere.

Bing’sbodywentlimpandtoppledbackwardontothepavement.Anypersonwasgonefromtheperson.Reducedtonothingbutmeatandhair.Thenightaircarriedthegrowingsoundofpolicesirens.

Felixhadheardthestoriesoftenenoughtoknow.Hisonlyfriendwasdead.

Worsethandead,Bingwaswrong.

Killinghimhadn’tmadeFelixfeeleventheleastbitgreat.

WhenNickfoundthefirstboxhewasn’tsurprised.ItsatinthemiddleofSoutheastYamhillStreet,between42ndand43rd.TheTalbottbookpredictedasmuch.

Thebookhadgotteneverythingright,sofar.Thefireshadstartedweeksbefore,justastheTalbottbookhadforeseen.Herewasthesamemethodtheeliteshadusedinthe1965Wattsfirethathaddestroyedonehundredsquareblocks,inthe1967Newarkfires,andthe1967Detroitfirethathadwipedoutfourhundredbuildings.AsinWashington,D.C.,in1968with1,199buildingsburned,itwasalwaysthewhitestorchingblackneighborhoods.ToherdblackcitizensawayfromurbanareasandbacktolivesassharecroppersandfieldhandsintheDeepSouth.

ThesedaysitwastheCaucasiachieftainscommittingarsoninordertodriveanylingeringblackstoBlacktopia.AndtodrivetheremainingPortlandwhitesouttotheestates.

Theboxleftinthestreetwasthesamedeal.

Inthe1950ssuchaboxwouldbefilledwithheroin.Inthe1990sitwouldbecrackcocaine.Whateverthedecade,theCIAwouldleavetheboxinanyneighborhoodtheywantedtodestroy.Nowitwasthechieftains.Nicktorethecardboardopenandsortedthebagspackedinside.HeshovedthepocketsofhistrenchcoatfullofVicodinandAmbienandXanax,poundsofthemsealedinplastic.Therestheleft.AccordingtotheTalbottbookthey’ddropamessoftheseboxes,andNickscuttledofftohighgradetherest.

Aposteronanearbywallscreamedout:ASmileIsYourBestBulletproofVest!Nick’sonlyfamily,hismom,hadpackedupandgambledherlasttankofgasonfindinganestatewhereshecouldpledgeherself.Wordwasthebiglandoperationswerefringedwithfavelasofdisplacedmediaandinformationworkers.Alllivingoutoftheirdustycars.Washed-upwebdesignersanddiversityofficers,theywereallhopingtoprovethemselvesintheupcomingrhubarbharvestandtobeawardedathatchedcottagebeforewintersetin.

TheentireWiki-squatoftheInternetwastrashed.TheonlyradiowasTalbottandapproved

Caucasianmusic.Mostlypolkas,withsomewaltzesandjigs.Thegreatesthitsofharpsichordandbagpipe.Theradioannouncedthatthefireshadbeensetbyloyalists.Partisans.Talbotthimselfdenouncedanyrumorsthattheoldpresidenthadescapedandthatalookalikehadbeenassassinatedinhisstead.

Officially,thepresidentoftheformerlyunitedstateswasdead.Officially,thefiresthatsprangupatnightanddrovehelplesspeopleintothedarkstreetsweresetbyrebels.Banditsorhighwaymen.MaybeCanadians.Canadians,Nicknoted,werebrandedthenewterrorists.

AccordingtoTalbott’sbook,throughoutmodernhistorywell-meaningblackshadbeenpersecuted.Eachtimeacityhadburstintoflame,whenblackcitizenshadrushedtosavepropertythreatenedbythefire,whitemilitaryforceshadusedthisasapretensetoarrestthemforlooting.ThesedaysasfireschurnedthroughblockafterblockofPortland,anyonewhotriedtohelpwasarrested.Convictedontrumped-upcharges,theywererailroadedtoworkgangs.

Theboxes,theboxesallowedthelessheroicanotheroption.AsTalbottphrasedit,lessusefulmembersofsocietycouldself-selecttoleave,throughaccidentaloverdoseorsuicide.

Thefiresfoiledtheheroes.Thedrugsresolvedthecowards.OnlyNickcouldekeoutalifestayingbuzzedwhentherewasnofoodtobefound.Sleepwasadifferentmatter.Thegreatchieftainestateswiththeirfabledswathsofrunnerbeansandredcabbages,they’ddisplacedthewildpacksofwolvesandcoyotes.Thoseanimalsaswellasbearsandcougarshadroamedintothecitystreets,theparksandneighborhoods,seekingnewprey.Nightswhentheyhowledandtheirvictimsscreamed,Nickhadthepillstosleepsoundlyinwhateverabandonedautomobile.

Days,he’dcomeacrossamessthatmightstretchforcityblocks.Theribcageandspineinoneplace,theheadandpelviswouldbedraggedoff.Theskullmightbegone,buttherewasalwaysthemattedhair.Usuallythehands,too.Thesidewalkoralleywouldbestickywithdriedblood,withfootprintsofbloodwanderingoffineverydirection.Thefootprintsofwolvesorbear.Thescavengerprintsofcoyotesandraccoons,magpies,rats.Eachtrailofredprintspointedthedirectionofsomemissingarmorentrails.Somehaplessso-and-so.Thefingers,thefingersofthegnawed-onhandswouldbeloadedwithdiamondrings,rubyrings.Theeyeswouldbepeckedout,butapearlnecklacewouldbeleftbehind,miredintheblood.Carnivoresknewwhatwasactuallyofrealvalue.

TheXanaxtookcareoftheabsoluteworstaspectofmoderncitylife.Notthefoodinsecurityorthedyingnighttimescreams.Thetoughestdetailtodealwithwastheloneliness.

Shastawasgone.AswereWalterandXavier.Nooneexceptthecertifiablehadstayedintheinnercity,andNicksteeredawidecoursearoundthem.

Ablockdistant,anexcellentexamplelurked.Anakedoldman,hiswristsandanklesflappingwithscrapsofdirtyducttape.Hisemaciatedbodylookedglossywithdriedblood.Whatmightbeahash-markcarpetoftinystabwoundsdottedhisspindlyarmsandlegs.Themanambledalongthedesertedsidewalk.HecaughtsightofNickandwaved.Thebutcheredapparitioncraneditsthinneckandshouted,“Walter!”Inadifferentdirection,itshoutedagain,“Walter!”

Nickturnedtailanddidnotwaveback.

AccordingtoTalbotttheCivilWarhadnothingtodowithslavery.Inreality,thefamousWarBetweentheStateshadbeenjustarusetocullthevastnumbersofIrishwhowereemigratingtonortherncities.Anotheryouthbulgeneutralized.

HefoundanotherboxonSoutheastWoodstockandfilchedthepills.OutsideaburnedhouseintheWestmorelandneighborhoodhefoundapileofscorchedfurniture.Armloadsofclothesstillonhangers.RalphLauren,Gucci,Armani,theseclotheswereillegaltowearnow.Hepickedthroughthepileandfoundagunbutnobullets.Aperfectlygoodguitar.

Theworstaspectoflonelinesswasthesilence.Birdsongwastheonlyregularsoundbesidesthewind.Heswungthepackoffhisbackanddugoutabagofpills.HeplacedtwoXanaxinhismouthandtastedthesweetnessastheydissolvedunderhistongue.OnNortheastMississippiAvenuehefoundathirdboxandtoreintoitscontents.

TalbotthadspokenslowlywhileWalterandtheassembledmenhadleanedforwardtolisten.“Theburialpitsshouldmeasurethreehundredfeetlongbythirtyfeetwideandtwelvefeetdeep.”Allthewhilestrappedtothesamechair,he’dinstructed,“Thefloorofeachpitmustbesealedwithalayerofquarter-inch-thickpolyethylenesheeting,toppedbyatwo-foot-thicklayerofimperviousclay.”

Tosaveeffortheencouragedconsistency,saying,“Don’teveryonetrytoreinventthewheel.”

Inrecentdays,thebasementhadbecomeaclubhouseofsorts.Aheadquartersorcommandcenter.NaylorandEsteban,themenfromthenarcoticsrecoverygroup,hadcomeknocking.Ontheirheelshadappearedothermen,allofthemapparentlyrecruitedfromsimilargroupsacrossthecountry.

IfWalterhadtoguess,theywereheterosexualsandhomosexuals.Blackandwhite.They’dalljoinedTalbott’snewpayrollandzealouslyfollowedtheever-growingInternetlistofnamesnowdubbedAmerica’sLeastWanted.AndasWalterhadbeendispatchedtocompilehisnotesandhireaprinter,thesemencametoserveasTalbott’sinnercircle.

Eachmanhadovercomehisowndemon,beitheroinorcancer,andnowhewasheretoconquersomethingbigger.Asthey’dcrowdedaroundTalbott’sknee,he’dtoldthem:

Flatteryisaddictive.Convinceothersthey’respecial.Assurethemtheyhavetalent.Makeyourselfthesourceofpeople’sself-worth.Doingsobindsthemtoyouanditpreemptsthemfromdeveloping

theirskillsandprovingtheirtruepotential.

Asthey’dpassedcansofbeerandbagsofchips,he’dtoldthem:

Assemblyisexpression.Individualsmustbegrantedtherighttoassociatewiththoseandonlythosetheyselect.Thegroupsthatresultshallnotbecompelledtoopentheirrankstothosetheywishto

exclude.

Deliriousfromsomanytinyinfections,Talbotthadranted:

Behorrible,existasahorriblethreat,andatthemomentofyourgreatestpowerstayyourhand.Byhurtingpeopleandthennothurtingthemyouacquiretheirlove.

He’dtoldthem:

Imaginethere’snoGod.ThereisnoHeavenorHell.Thereisonlyyoursonandhissonandhisson,andtheworldyouleaveforthem.

Ifthey’dlaughed.Iftheysparkedtoanidea,noddingtheirheadsinagreement,TalbotthadsnappedhisfingersforWaltertomakenoteofit.He’dbeenroadtestinghisconcepts.Ifthesemenengagedwithanideaandsecondeditbyofferingupexamplesfromtheirownlives,TalbotthadknownitwasvalidforawideraudienceandhadlookedtoWaltertoputitintotheupcomingbook.

TalbotthadexplainedthatwhileAdolfHitlerhadbeenaprisonerinLandsbergPrison,hiscellhadbeenthesiteofaconstantparty.Peoplebroughtbeerandfood,visitorscrowdedtheroomwhileHitlerregaledthemwithhisideas.Theideasthatresonated,thatmadeHitler’slistenerssmileinrecognition,HitlercollectedthoseideasintohisfirstdraftofMeinKampf.Theseideaswouldengagethelargestnumberofpeople.

AndsoTalbotthadconductedasimilarback-and-forthdialogwiththemenwhomadetheirpilgrimagetoconsulthim.Thesemen,ClemandNaylorandBing,he’dtoldthem,“Inthefutureeveryonewillbeshotforfifteenminutes.”

RufusandL.J.,hetoldthem,“Onlytheleftear,please.”

Walter’snewoldman,he’dexplainedthatthebestfeedbackwouldbeagrunt,asnort,amoan,anynoisetoprovehe’dhitanervewithsometruth.Thebestfeedbackwasneverfilteredthroughlanguage.Atmostitmightbean“Amen”ora“Fuck,yeah.”Someprofaneformof“Hallelujah.”UntilthebookoffragmentsbecamelikeMao’sbookofquotationsorPoorRichard’sAlmanack,acollectionofaphorisms.

Talbotthadexplainedthatwhattheywerecomposingwouldbeasutra.TheTalbottSutra.LikeTheGoldenVersesofPythagorasorthebiblicalEcclesiastes.Itwouldserveasthenewconsciousness.

AmodernMeinKampfasitwere.

Theywouldpublishitsamizdat,liketheSovietdissidents.InthemannerofAndreiSakharov.AnddistributethecopiesviathegrowingnetworkofClemsandDawsonsandCharliessnakingman-by-manacrossthenation.

Andstillcertainthatsomehowthiswouldmakehimarichman,thiswouldwinhimShasta’sheart,Walterhadwritteneverythingdown.

Becauseoftheyellingthepoliceshowup.Becauseit’saftermidnightandBingwasachieftainofthefirstlineage,thismeanthelicopterscirclingtheneighborhoodandsweepingtheareawith

searchlights.Becausethepoliceareforeverandeverywhereafterthesamedeal:Didyoufight?Didhefightyou?BecauseFelix’smashakesherhead,headdown,becauseshefiguresthisissomehowherdoing.BecausethenDeliciouswalksinthedoor,going,“Belle,what’syourFelixgoneanddonenow?”

BecauseDeliciousdoesn’tknowit’sherassatstake,too.Becauseit’severyone’sbuttontheline,becauseifthetruthcomesoutthenBelleandDelicious,JarvisandGentrywillgointodetentionassuspectdetainees,forever.Becausenobodyprioritizesacceptingdamagedgoods.BecausethenewlydeclaredhomosexualsofCaucasiaandBlacktopiabeingheldindetentionelsewherearegoodforahalfmillionTalbottsoranewfreshsomebody,sowhysettleforsometraitorwhomevenGaysiawantsridof.

Becausetheparamedicsaredebridingthecutsandscratchesonhisfaceandneck.BecauseFelixlooksalmostasbeatupasthedeadbodyofBing.BecausefolksleaningouttheirbedroomwindowsheardBing’slastwords,clearanddistinct.Becausepeopleliveintheforever-aftershadowofthatKittyGenovese,thelesbianwhowasstrangledandstabbedandstrangledandstabbedwhilesomeentirecityfullofonlookersfailedtotakeaction.Becausesomanypeopleleanedoutwindowsbackthenandnevercalledthepolicebecauseayoung,prettylesbiangettingherselfbutcheredwasn’ttheirproblem,becauseofthateveryonechimesinrecitingBing’syelled-outlastwords.

TohearFelixtellit,heandBinghadbeenpeacefullysmokingdopeinthealleyaroundmidnight.Intheversionhetoldtheinvestigatingofficers,Binghadbeentellingstoriesaboutthesuccessofhislineage,andhowhe,Binghimself,hadjourneyedtoabasementinPortland,Oregon,andhadanaudienceinthepresenceofthevenerableTalbott.Binghadn’tbeenanobody.Asachieftainofthefirstlineage,hisdeathcalledforamassiveinvestigation.DogshadbeendispatchedtotrackpossibletracesofBing’sbloodonanescapingkiller.

EvenastheparamedicsdebridedthecutsandscratchesonFelix’sfaceandneck,hetoldthemwhathewantedtotell.BecausenooneexceptFelixhadpaidmuchattentiontoBingasoflate.Because,frankly,Bing’sone-daywarstorycouldbeaboreandbecausepeoplehadmoretofretabout,whatwithspermdrivesandbiologicalcarriercommissions.Becausepeoplewouldneversayasmuch,buttheywerebeginningtoquestionthegreatnessofGaysia,thegaypromisedland,andbecausetheymissedthekick-up-your-heelslifestylethey’dlivedunderheterosexualoppression.It’sbecauseofthisguilt—guiltoverdoubtingGaysia,guiltoverKittyGenovese—thatalltheearwitnessesrepeatedBing’slastgaspedwords.

It’sbecauseofthemFelixsaidwhathefinallysaid.Becausehedidn’tsayitatfirst,notrightaway.Becauseheknewitwouldtriggeraninternationalincident.Becausehedidn’twantthisnation,Gaysia,tobeatwar,becausewasn’tAdjustmentDayaboutsavingagenerationfrommilitarycemeteries?

Becausewhyshouldstatesmengettosnuffoutthelivesofmenbarelyabletovote?ButbecauseFelixdoesn’twanttoseehisfolksinternment-camped,andbecauseheneedstobuytime,becauseanysimpleDNAtestwillproveit’shisDNAandonlyhisDNAgrabbedalloverBing’scorpseandclawedunderBing’sfingernails...becauseeveryone’sbayingforbloodandjustice...Felixsaysitwasagangofstrangers.Becauseit’splausible,andbecausethisgainshimtraction.BecauseFelixwasquicklyreplacingTalbottoneverychannel,thesatellite-relayedimageofhim,becausehehadallofGaysiahangingonhiseveryword,becausehewasalreadypackingagetawaybaginhismind,packinghisfavoriteshirtsandanextrapairofshoes,andbecauseFelixneededthatcrucialheadstarttomakehisescape,that’sthereasonFelixfinallysaidwhathedid.

“Straights,”hetoldthetelevisioncameras.“Straightguysbashedhim.”

ItneverfailedtoleaveShastaastounded.ThesamesunthatwarmedherneckatthismomenthadalsowarmedHitler’s.ThestarsshecouldseefromhermarriagebedwerethestarsthathadtwinkledaboveinfamousNazideathcamps.Howhumansorganizedtheirsocietyandconductedtheirlivescountedfornothinginthegrandscheme.

Treesweretakingrootontheburialpits.Theimportantpartsofliferemainedaconstant.Peoplefedtheirchildren.Peoplecouldonlytrulyhatethosewholivednextdoor.Justaslifehadbeenbefore,everyonewaspreoccupiedbystayingalive.Wateralwaysfoundanewlevel.Anewnormal.

Thefieldwives,forexample.Theyroamedthethrivingrowsofkaleandsquash,eachwomanswollenwithachild.Allofthem,Charlie’soffspring.Sooneverydaywouldbemarkedbythebirthofoneormoreheirs.InanotheryeartheestatewouldbeoverrunwithtinyCharlies.

OnerealpossibilitywasthatShastaherselfwastheproblem.Thepartypooper,asitwere.Ifshe’dbeenbornintothismomentshe’dseeonlypeacefulwomendoingusefulworktothesoundof

mandolins.Wellfed,theywereallhealthyandplumpwiththeirfuturechildren.Ifshehadn’tknowntheworldbeforeAdjustmentDayshewouldn’tseethisEdenicscenethroughsuchacynical,bitterlens.Thesefuturechildrenwouldacceptthislifeasagiven.Theideabothcomfortedandenragedher.

Astheylaboredovertheweedingchores,Shastawentaboutherusualsearchamongtherootsandfurrows.Thesunwarmedthehoodedcowlshewore,edgedwithdecadentfakeocelotfur.Abandofrovingminstrelspluckedlutesandcroonedballads.

Awaveofnauseasurgedupfromherbelly,andshefoughttheurgetopukeonarowofmaturingparsnips.Shecouldbe...HeavenknowsCharliehadsewnplentyofseedinher.Sheshudderedatthepossibilityofbecominganotherbroodmarefortherapaciouschieftain.

Ameekfigureshuffledforward.Thegirldidn’tspeakbutstoppedanarm’slengthaway.Alacycapheldthelonghairgatheredatopherhead.Alightveilofnettingcascadedoverherfacetoprotectheryoungcomplexionfromthesun.Herhumble,downcastgazeremainedonherownrusticwoodenclogs.

Thegirlreachedintoapocketofherapron.Shewithdrewawadofsoftcloth.Atinybundleofjoy.Aswaddledtreasure.Woundaroundit,astrandofcarefullyknottedstringkeptitclosed.Shelookedfurtivelyfromsidetoside.Theotherfieldwivesseemedfrozeninthemoment.Awomanintheneardistancenoddedslowly,once.Seeingthatsignal,thegirlofferedthebundleoffabric.

HereyesmetShasta’sforaninstant.Shastareachedtoacceptthegift,andsomethingcaughtherfocus.Thegirlworelongsleeves.Longskirtsandlongsleevesweretherule.Butatthecuffofthesleeveasmoothpatchofherwristshowed.Aboldblue-blacksymbolstoodoutagainstthepaleskin.AthornyuppercaseletterR.

Beforeacceptingthegift,Shastapluckedatthesleeve.Whenthegirldidn’tpullaway,ShastaslidthesleeveuptorevealanIandanO.Inkedacrosstheinsideoftheforearm,fromherhandtothecrookofherelbowwerethewordsRIOTGIRRRRRRRL.

Thismodestlass,withhercringingdemeanor,notlongagoshe’dbeenabadassbitchgoddess.Thistimidwaif,herbellymadehugebyCharlie’sdeeds,she’dbeenakick-assrollerderbywarrior.

NowShastasurveyedthefieldswithnewunderstanding.Thesewomenhadallbeenbikemessengersandbasketballstars.Todaytheywerehunchedfieldwenches,doomedtoimminent,repetitivemotherhood.Butnotayearbeforethey’dbeendrummersinrockbands.They’dbeendope-smokingfirewalkersandhairlesspoledancers.

HowlongagohadAdjustmentDayoccurred?Withoutcellphonesorcalendars,itwasimpossibletotrackthedays.Onlytheweathersuggestedtimepassing.

Shastaletthegirl’ssleevedropbackintoplace,hidingtheevidenceofherformerself.ThegirlgentlyplacedthetinybundleinShasta’shandandshuffledawayquickly.Behindheranotheryoungwomanwaitedtopresentyetanotherbundleoffabric.Mostlikely,wordhadgottenaroundamongthewomenfolk.MostknewwhatprizeShastahunted.BehindherathirdwomanwaitedtogiveShastaherownfragiletribute,wrappedjust-soforsafekeeping.

Checkingthetypesetpagesforthebook,Walterhadmarveled.

ThisbookcombinedwiththeInternetgimmickofTheList—itwasadrug.Astheauthorhimselfhadputit:

AGoodBookShouldGetYouHigh.

Itreadlikepornography.

Whathisnewoldmanhaddictatedtohimamountedtoapornographyofpower.

Walterhadknowntheformula.Thebiggestbestsellersinhistoryhadbeentargetedatchildrenandyoungadults.Peoplewhohadnopower,theywerestarvedforstoriesdepictingsimilarkidsattaininganultimatepower.FromHarryPottertoSupermantoLukeSkywalkertoRobintheBoyWonder,itwouldseemthatallkidswantedtodeveloptheirownlatentsuperpowersandtoseetheirparentsdead.TheTalbottbookdeliveredonbothcounts.Theunemployedandunderemployedsteamfittersandpressoperatorswouldseethemselvesslaytheiroppressorsandthenrisetoruletheirownfiefdoms.

Itamountedtoapornographyofbeingright.Noorgasmwouldbeassatisfyingasprovingeveryone

elsewrong.Nosexualcontentcouldcompetewiththerushmengotfromwinning.AndtheTalbottbookwasaboutnothingifitwasn’taboutwinning.

Talbott,theoldcoot,heknewwhatmencravedmost.

Ashe’dperusedthebook,WalterhadtakenShasta’searplugfromthepocketofhisshirt.He’dheldittohisnoseandinhaled.Thistalisman,somethingawitchmightusetosummonupthedead.Spongy,tittypink,itwasanartifactcoatedwithherdeadskinandinternalsecretions,thisrelicdugoutofthesideofherhead.HisnosecouldconvincetherestofhimthatShastawassittingherebesidehim.

Shasta,he’dknown,she’dhatethebook.ShemightgrooveontheprescribedRenaissanceFairethreadsandresurrectedfaux-Nordicculture.Shedidhavehertattoo.Acrossherchestitread:MiteinemSchwertindeinemHerzensterben.Whateverthatmeant.She’ddigtheproposedmedievalcastlelifestyleandstillhatethebook.

Butshe’dlovethemoneyitwouldbringthem.

Shastawouldtakeonelookattheworlditproposedandshe’dtossthebookintothetrash.Well,notthetrash.Shastawouldtossitintotherecycling.

Afterthat...Rightafterthat,she’dcallupBeyoncéandflyonsomeprivatejettogoshoeshoppingonBondStreetinLondon.WithMadonna.AndWalter’screditcard.

Acurtainseparatedthem.Akintoastagecurtain.Apalesheetofmuslindidhangfromtheceilingofthechamberwiththeroyalphysicianandasizablecontingentofthecourtfacingit.Anoddhundredorsogrooms,squires,valets.Somethingunseenontheoppositesidestirredthefabric,andPhysicianTerrencebade,“Ifyourhighnesswilldousthehonorofpresentinghimself...”

Todate,royalprotocolremainedatbestsemisolid.Thusthebeststrategy,lestthephysiciangiveoffense,wastohewtoamoodofloftyWhite-Speakformality.Asnowhesatuponacarvedwoodenfootstool,hereachedforwardandwithhisfingerspokedatthecurtainuntilhefoundaholetherein.Hewiggledanindexfingerwithinthehole.“Simplydisplaytheroyalscepter.”Fancyworkofsilkenembroiderydidedgethehole.

Theassembledcompanyeyedtheholeandwaited.

Terrencewithdrewhisfingersandwaited.Toputhisroyalpatientatease,herecollectedhisownmiraculoushealing.Howhe’dbeenabedriddeninvalidsinceinfancy.HowamercifulhospitalnursehaddeliveredtohimacopyoftheTalbottbookonbehalfofhisabsentfather.Withhisfather’smarginaliaasencouragement,Terrencehadovercomehisdomineeringmother,awomanwhoseentrancingwordscouldprompthimtoviolentseizures.

Facingthecurtain,hedidrecounttheepictug-of-waroverhiscatheter,andhowthestrugglebroughthismothercrashingtothefloor.HowtheTalbottbookitselfhadstrucktheknock-outpunchandbrokenhernose.Brokenthenosesothatitwouldforeverliesidewaysagainsthercheek.

Ofthecatheter,thecatheterhadrippedfree.Intensehadbeenthepain,buthistackleremainedintact.Foiledhadbeenanyattemptatcastration.

Terrence’sfingersproddedimpatientlyattheembroideredhole.Still,nothingemergedfromtheoppositeside.

OfchiefconcernthisdaywasthelargenumbersofsexualcontactsChieftainCharliehadenjoyedasoflate.Morespecifically,whetheroneofsaidencountersmight’vecommunicatedasocialdiseasetohishighness.Asthephysicianunderstoodthesituation,hishighnesshadgrownconcernedovercertainphysicalchangesofanintimatenature.Nonetheless,therewaslittlethatcouldbedonewithoutaninspection.

“Ofgreatestimportanceisthatwedetermineaprognosis,”saidTerrence.Herehequotedfromtheblue-blackbook:

Thewayofmanisnottohopebuttotakeactionandproduceresults.

Atthisthemuslinfinallystirred.Bulgedidit,andtheembroiderededgesofthesmallholebegantospreadapart.Withanupraisedhand,thephysicianforbidanyman’sutteranceassomethingwanandshriveledmadeitstimidentranceamongthem.

Thenextmorningwhenshebroughtthebreakfasttray,Arabellawastransformed.Asfarbackas

MissJocouldrecollectthehousekeeperhadbeenahunchbackedoldfrump.Inrecentyearstherehadbeensomethingincreasinglyclownishinthedefeatedwaythewomanhadploddedaroundthehouse.Afringebenefitofkeepinghelpwashowwaxingfloorsandpolishingsilverworethemout.Forthesamereasonbrideschooseuglybridesmaidsforawedding,havingthehousekeeperaroundmadeMissJolookremarkablywellpreserved.

Untilthismorning,thatis.ThisArabellawasastranger.Herknottedlimbshadgrownslenderandsupple.Inplaceofherstaiduniformsheworeaflowinggown.Adashiki,MissJodredgeduptheword.Thegarmentmovedlikewateroverthewoman’ssmoothskin,thematerialaccentedwithradiantemeraldsembeddedinitsweave.

Thefrizzedmopofhergrayhairhadbeenchangedintoalustrousmaneoflong,auburncurls.Hercrackedhandsandfacegleamedsobrightwithreflectedlightthattheylookedwetwithperfumedoils.Thoselovelyhandsborethetray:twopoachedeggs,ahamsteak,anEnglishmuffinwithbutterandmarmaladeontheside.

“MissJosephine,”shesaidinavoiceasnewasherappearance,“Mr.Jamalaskedmetoconveyhisapologies.”Thisvoiceresonatedwithanelegantdepth.Avelvetrumble.“Affairsofstaterequiredthathedepartlate,latelastevening.”

ShewassolovelythatMissJo’sfirstimpulsewastodischargeher.ButthiswasnolongerMissJo’shouse,andArabellawasnolongerinheremploy.

ThehousekeeperwassolovelythatMissJocouldonlylookawayinpainedresentment.Catchingsightofherownreflectioninasilverteaspoonshefeltherstomachshrivel.She’dstainedandpoisonedherselfintothisgamboling,sinisterelf.Doingso,yes,she’dcementedherpositioninthisnewnationstate,butatwhatcost?Clearlyshenolongerbelongedhere.

Pretendingtobeengrossedinbutteringhermuffin,sheremarked,“Arabella,thatfrockisextremelyflatteringtoawomanofyoursize.”

Arabellalaughedsoftlyinhernewthroatytones.“It’snottheensemble,”shesaid,“it’sthetransformationofmypeople.”

ShedescribedhowwhitemenhadalwaysbelittledAfricanblacksforneverinventingthewheelortheplow.ThetruthwasthatAfricanshaddisdainedanytoolsthatdisfiguredtheEarth.BlackshadanalliancewiththeEarththatstretchedbackthroughalltime.Anyrequest,theplanetgranted.Thathadmadethecontinentsorichinresources.Thelandenjoyedincubatinggoldanddiamondswithinitswombtodelighttheblackhumans.Andthehumansinturnwouldneverscarthelandwithroadsorplowedfurrows.

“WhenthewhitemanenteredAfrica,”Arabellacontinued,“weexpectedhimtohavethesamerespectforthesacredland.”

Butbecausethissoilwasnothiscradle,theEuropeanhadrecognizednothingexceptthewealthhewantedtoplunder.Amanwho’dneverapproveofabortion,amanwhoprofessedtosanctifylife,hetoreopenthewomboftheEarthandrippedoutthegiftsthathadbeenpreparedandharboredthere.Whiteoilwellsandpitminesguttedtheland.Andwhattheplanethadproducedtorewardthestewardshipoftheblackrace,thewhitemanlootedandspiritedaway.

ArabellaregardedMissJowithacool,disdainfullook.“Sincethattime,mypeoplehavelearnedtokeepourspecialpowersconcealed.Goingbackhundredsofyears,we’vehiddenourtruetalentsandwisdomoutofthefearthatthewhitemanwouldabusethoseaswelltoincreasehishordeofacquisitions.”

MissJolookedatherhands,chemicallydiscolored,andfeltadeepshameforthehistoryofhergreedyrace.Shefelthumiliatedbyherownburnthair.Withoutquestion,thewhiteman’sfollyandguilthadbeenbequeathedtoher.

“Ofallpeople,onlyMr.Kingcameclosetoexposingthetruemagicofblackpeople,”Arabellaexplained.“Formanyyearswedebatedkillinghimforourownprotection.”

MissJosephinelistenedinamazement.“BlackskilledMartinLutherKingJr.?”

Arabellascowled.“NotDoctorKing...,”sheexclaimed.“WehiredamantokillStephenKing.Unfortunatelytheassassinwasinept,andtheintendedhit-and-runwasafailure.”

Intheauthor’smasterpiecenovels,shesaid,bookssuchasTheShiningandTheStandandTheGreenMile,Kinghadalmostconvincedwhitepeopleofthemajesticuncannypowersblackskept

underwraps.

Withoutprompting,ArabellashookoutthelinennapkinandtuckeditintothenecklineofMissJo’shousecoat.Thehousekeeperliftedtheknifeandcutasmallsquarefromthehamsteak.Withthefork,carefullysheplacedthemorselintotheoldwoman’smouth.“Noweat,”shesaid.

Speechless,MissJomutelychewedthatsamebiteofham,overandover,likeacowwithitscud,unawareasthemeatwasreducedtoatastelessmush.Silenceandexpectationboredownuponher.Finally,sheventured,“So...wherewasthefire?Why’dJamalflyoutofhereinsuchahurrylastnight?”

Inresponse,Arabellasteppedtotheroom’ssmalltelevisionandtouchedabutton.Thescreenfilledwithtinypeople.Atorch-bearingmob.

“Youknowthatboyisholdinghisownsecrets,”thehousekeepersaid,watchingthecrowdedscreen.“You’veseenthewayhestudiesthoseoldpaintingsofyourancestors.”

Ontelevision,anoceanofrioterssurroundedastatelybuilding,throwingrocksandbricksagainstitscarvedfaçade.Gunshotsrangoutandpuffsofdustshowedwherebulletsricochetedoffthestone.Therewasthebrightsoundofglassbreaking.

Aclosershotrevealedthetall,ornatewindows.Theyframedthefacesofpeopletrappedwithin.Handsomeandbeautifulbuttrappednonetheless,allthosefaceswereblack.

Talbott’sintuitionhadbeenspot-on.The1960shadtorndownallthepatternsforliving.Sincethen,generationshadwanderedthroughtheirlivesinsearchofanewsharedblueprint.Theanswerwasn’tCommunismorFascism.NorwasitChristianityorCapitalism.Politicalactivismandeducationwerebothrevealedtobecorrupt.Thegreatestaccomplishmentofmodernmanhadbeentodoawaywiththoseconstrainingmodels.

“Theonlyqualitythattrulyunitesusisourdesiretobeunited,”he’dalwaysinsisted.“Whatmenwantisastructureforcommunion.”

Untilrecentlyourcircumstanceshaddrawnustogetherandkeptusunited.Oursharedproximityasnext-doorneighbors.Ascoworkersatourjobsandcongregantsinourchurches.Asclassmatesinschool.Allofthesestructuresbroughtpeopleintocommunitywithregularity.Butaspeoplebegantomovehouseholdssofrequently,whenjobsbecamelessstable,andchurchesbecamelessrelevant,we’dlostreliablecontactwitheachother.

AsTalbottsawit,raceandsexualpreferencehadtobecomethelastbastionforcommunity.Asallthegrandunitingnarrativesfloundered...whenallthetenuous,externalcircumstancesfailedus,we’dbeforcedtoformourranksbasedonourmostbasicelements:skincolorandsexualdesire.

Walterhadseenit.ClearlyhisnewoldmanintendedthebookasavehicleformakingWalter’sfortune.Themen,thoseJamalsandEstebans,theywerethefootsoldiers,theadvanceguardopeningthemarketforthebook’swiderintroduction.Thoserubesandpreppers.Herewerefaux-profoundthoughtstoreplacetheslogansthatadvertisinghadplantedinpeople’sheads.

AccordingtoTalbott,onlyconsumptionremainedasameansofself-expression.That’swhymen’sonlyresponsetobeautywastoconsumeit.Thusbeautybecamepornographysoitcouldbeconsumed.Statuswasmeasuredbylevelsandqualityofconsumption.Ofpeople’stime.Oftheirenergies.Cannibalismcouldn’tbefarbehind.

What’smore,astheTalbottbookdecreed:

SuicideIstheUltimateActofConsumption.

Andbyextension:

CivilizationIsConsumingItself.

ThathadbeenhisexplanationforwhyWesterncivilizationsweredwindling.CitizensofthewhiteDiasporawereconsumingthemselveswithdrugs.Blackswithviolence.Homosexualswithdisease.

Intheirtapestry-linedhoneymoonchamberShastafoundhernewhusbandhurriedlyfoldinghosenandsurcoats.Hesteppedtothegargantuanwardrobecabinetandstrippedthedry-cleaningplasticoffahouppelandeofrich,royalbluevelveteenaccentedwithscuttledpiping.Asuitcaselayopenacrossthefootoftheirenormouscanopybed,halffilledwithkiltsandtabards.Charliepackedhisfavoritecodpieceamongthem.

WhenShastawenttoembracehim,heshookheroff,saying,“Notrightnow.”Histonewasgruff.“Acouncilofchieftainshasbeencalledtoassemble.”

AgondolierhadbeenhiredtopoletheroyalbargedowntheColumbiaRivertotheruinsofPortland.Therethelineagewouldgatherinaloftyboardroomperchedatoponeoftheremaininghigh-risesintheabandoneddowntowncore.RumorhaditthatPortlandhadlongagooutstrippeditsat-homebathtubproductionoftempe.Theirstoresofsoyexhausted,thedenizenshadtakentodevouringeachother.Thetranquilgardencitynowstanklikeanopengrave.Thisjourneywouldholdnoappealforanyofthechieftainswho’dbeensummoned.

Undeterred,Shastaapproachedhimoncemore,andshelightlyfingeredhismerkin.Thetensioninhisbodyrelented.Shedroppedtoherknees.DeftlystrippingasidehisscabbardandunlacinghisVenetianbreeches,herhandsdiscoveredhisflaccidprideandcommencedtheirkneading.

Withajarringwince,Charliecried,“Ouch!”

Shasta’sfingerscontinued.Moregently.

“Watchit,”heprotested,hisvoiceweaker,faint,carriedawaybythepleasureofhertouch.

Shasta’smouthjoinedforceswithherhandsintheirwifelyduties.Thenauseastirredinherbelly.Despitehervoluminousorganzaskirtsthestonefloorhurtherkneecaps.

Hisheadlolling,Charliewhined,“Ifeltsomething.”

Hermouthpausedinitstasksoshemightdrawabreath.“Noduh,I’dhopeso.”Shequelledthebitchinessinhervoice.“Iamhonoringyourhighness.”

Hemoaned.“But...”Hiswordsfailed.“ButGaysia,thepeopleofGaysiahaveoverrunourembassyandtakenourdiplomatshostage...”

Muttering,slurringhiswords,deliriouswithsensation,herhusbandwentontoannouncethatGaysiahaddeclaredwaragainstbothCaucasiaandBlacktopia.

ThenewscaughtShastaoffguardandshegaggedaninstant.Hergorgerose,threateningtoscaldtheroyalmanhoodwithbiliousdigestiveacids.Afinegoing-awaygiftthatwouldmake.Onlywithgreateffortwassheabletochokedownboth.

Andoneafternoon,whenWalterhadbeenidlyleafingthroughacopyofthenewlyprintedTalbottbook,theoldmanhadlookedup.Walter’snewoldman,he’dglared,hisbrowfurrowedanddemanded,“What’sthatyou’rereading?”

Walterheldupthebook,showingitsblue-blackcoverandthegildedtitle.

Talbottsnarled.“What’sitcalled?”

Waltranafingertipunderthetitle.“AdjustmentDay.”

Theoldman’sfaceflushedsoredthatfreshbloodspurtedfromtwosmallcutsonhisforehead.“That’snot!”

Walterturnedthebookandreadthetitle.Thatwasit,AdjustmentDay.

Sputtering,salivaflying.“That’snotwhatIsaid!”bellowedtheoldman.

AchillranthroughWalter.Hisheaddidthegrimmath.Howmanybookshadbeenprintedandalreadydistributed?Answer:Allofthem.

Talbottsaid,“Youidiot!Stopthepresses!”

Itwastoolate,butWalterdidn’tsaythat.

“ItoldyoutocallthebookAJudgmentDay!”Talbottranted.

AJudgmentDay.GodonlyknewwhatelseWalterhadmisheard.

Talbottshookhisheadindisbelief.Hesnapped,“Isittoolatetofixthis...typographicalerror?”

AJudgmentDay.Duh.

AndWaltlied.Heputonhisbestlookofsincereconfidence,andhetoldtheoldman,“Don’tworry.I’llfixit.”

ClosingtheTalbottbookandcarefullysettingitaside,thespeakerproclaimed,“QueerbodieshavealwaysbeentheshocktroopsinWesterncivilization.”

AgeneralgrumblerosefromtheaudienceseatedaroundGavyn.They’dbeenhearingthislecturesincethey’drelinquishedthemselvestotheRetentionCenter.

Itwouldhitonthesamepoints:MalcolmXbeingabisexualhustler,JamesBaldwin,thefeministmovementandtheirownNightoftheLongKniveswherethey’doustedtheirfoundinglesbiancontingentinordertomakethemovementmoreappealingtosoccermoms.Thespeechwouldtouchonurbanrenewal.AndtheclimaxwouldbeabouthowHitler’sschoolboycrushonLudwigWittgensteinhadsetinmotionWorldWarIIandtheinfamousFinalSolution.

Everymonthorso,achieftainfromGaysiaarrivedtodeliverthesepeptalks.Toboostmorale.Today’sspeakerwasachieftainofthefirstlineage.AmannamedEsteban.Heraisedhisvoiceinresponsetothegrumbling.

Interrupting,Gavynsaid,“Mysister...”Theroomquieted.“Mysister,Charm,didthemath.Andshesaysnoneofusaregettingtradeduntilwe’realmostforty.”Hewasn’tloud,butthesilencewassoabsolutethathisvoicesoundedhuge.

Anotherkidyelled,“What’supwiththat?”

Thespeakercountered,“Femaleemigrantswillbegrantedfirstprioritysotheycanbegintheproductionofexportsasquicklyaspossible.”

TheyounglesbiansseatedaroundGavyngroaned.Thecampdidn’tlooksogrimwhencomparedtoacareerashumanbreedingstock.

FromthepodiumEstebanstressed,“Thatshouldexpeditetheexchangeprocessbyanumberofyears.”

TheGaysianstance,theirofficialplatformwasthatneitherCaucasianorBlacktopiawantedtofeedandhouseexportsanylongerthanwasabsolutelynecessary.Astimepassedspecialaccommodationswouldbemadetoexchangeexportsasquicklyaspossible.AtradeagreementmightbereachedthatwouldallowcurrentGaysianexportstoemigrateinexchangeforfutureimmigrantsfromGaysia.That’sthereasonthepipelinehadtobeasburdenedaspossible.

TherealitywasthatGavynandhisgeneration,thefirstgenerationtoreachtheAgeofDeclarationsinceAdjustmentDay,wassortingtrashforrecycling.Theywereimprisoned,sleepingindormitories,eatingramennoodlesthreetimesdaily,withnodistractionotherthanseparatingNumber6plasticsfromNumber8plasticsandtinfromaluminum,ataskthatusedtobedonebymachinebeforeslavelaborbecamemorecosteffective.Exceptthatitwasn’tcalledslavelabor,itwascalledoutsourcing.Itwasoff-shorelaborexceptthatitwasn’toffshore,itwaslocatedsmack-dabinCaucasia.Andtheworkersweren’tslavesexceptforthefactthattheycouldn’tleavethecampus,exceptthecampuswashemmedinwithbarbedwireandguardtowers.Anditwasnoble,rewardingworktobenefittheirfutureandthefutureofGaysia,excepttheyspenteverydayslouchedoveracrawling-byconveyorbeltloadedwithstickytincansandsoiledpaperunderaconstantswarmofblackfliesattractedbythestinkofdecomposingyogurtandstalebeer.

Noneoftheexportshadlivedherelongerthanayearexcepteveryweekfeltlikeayear,exceptnoonehadacalendarbecausenoonehadexpectedtobestuckherethatlong,exceptsomerealistswho’dbeguntoscratchhashmarksinthepaintinonebathroomstallsoeveryonecouldgoandcountthedaysatanytimeandbeappalledbyhowlongthey’dactuallybeenbivouackedherepickingthroughthegarbage,exceptitmadenodifferencebecausetheywerestilltrapped,excepteverymonthsomebodyofficialfromthepromisedlandthey’dneverreacharrivedtoraisetheirspiritswitharousingspeechaboutthegloryofGaysia,excepttodaywhenGavynstoodupinthemiddleofthespeech,inthemiddleoftheaudienceandaskedthehorriblequestion.

Heasked,“Ismygenerationcondemnedhereforlife?”

Charmhadsuggestedasmuch.She’dwritten,speculatingthatnoonewouldbetradeduntilthefirstchildinGaysiaturnedeighteen.Notinanysizablenumbers.Yes,thereweresomechildrenin

Gaysia,butnotinnumbersthatmattered.AndeventhenCharmpredictedthatyoungerexportswouldbegivenpreference,justaswomenwerebeinggivenpreference,andthatCaucasiawasmorethansustainingitsownpopulationandthatthemoreexportsitproducedthemorecheapslavelaboritcouldmaintaininretentioncamps.Because,frankly,heterosexualswerejustbetteratreproductionandtheyhadalongerculturalhistoryofmakingbabies,andthefuturewouldbereducedtoaconstantexport-makingracebetweenthenations.

Gavyndidn’twanttoberude.NooneheldagreaterrespectforthechieftainsofGaysia,exceptGavynwantedthetruth,excepthewanteditspokeninfrontofeveryone.Excepthedidn’twanttobethemessengerofbadnews.Exceptnoneofthemwasgettinganyyounger.

“Sir?”askedGavyn,wantingtoshowsomerespectandnotjustbeanag.“Willweeverseeourhomeland?”

ThequestionelicitedascatteredoutburstofapplauseexceptGavynwasn’ttryingtodumpalloverthisEsteban,whowasthekindofgoodlookingwhereifhesmiledatyouyou’dhavetosmileback,exceptyoudidn’tknowwhathewaslikeasapersonexceptforhowhot,exceptthisbroughtCharmtomindandthelasttimetheyplayedthegameofMine/Yourswherethey’dpointoutrandompeopleaspotentialsexpartnersandshout“Mine”or“Yours”likethegameSlugBugwhereyoutriedtoslamyouropponentbysurprise,exceptthelasttimetheywereinLaurelhurstParkGavynpointedouttheskagkingpushingashoppingcartloadedwithprescriptions,Nickhisnamewas,withthecrystal-methcheekbonesandsun-bleachedhairandGavynyelled“Yours”exceptthenCharmpointedoutaguythedoppelgangerforthecuteoneoftheThompsonTwinswiththerattailhaircutwiththehennaandtheskinthecolorofpowderexceptwithoutthebaggy1980sgear,exceptthenGavyngotconfused,exceptwhenherealizedCharmwasplayingbydifferentrules.It’sbecausesheactuallywantedthebestforhim,exceptshedidn’trealizehe’dbeentryingtoslamherandit’sbecauseshereally,actuallydidhavethehotsforthatcrystal-methNickguy.

He’dbeentryingtoirkandembarrassher,exceptallshewantedforhimwashappinesswithaThompsonTwinslookalike,exceptthat’swhatmadeitscarywhenshewrotewithhertheoryabouthimprobablyneveremigrating.It’sbecauseshewasn’thissiblingrival,shewastellingthetruth.

ExceptEstebanredirected,sayinghowhistoryhadamodel.Sayinghomosexualshadalwayslivedwalledinsidemonasteriesandconventswherethey’dpreservedtheknowledgeoftheancientworldandcompiledthesecretsofthenaturalworld,hybridizingsweetpeasandmakingsuretheDarkAgeswouldnoteradicatethelegacyofman’scivilization.

ExceptGavynwasnotthrilledbytheprospectofwatchingpeashavesex,notwhilehisprimehotporn-readyeighteen-year-oldbodywaspickingtrash.AndhewasgoingtosayasmuchwhenanadministratorsteppeduptothepodiumandimpliedtoEstebanthathehadanimportantphonecallbackstage,andwhenEstebanduckedouttogetit,theadministratorleanedintothemicrophoneandannouncedGavyn’sname,notinagoodvoice,andsaidGavynwastogotothefrontofficewherehehadaguestwaiting.

Gavynwenttothereceptionarea,andtherewasagirlwithsomanytattooshehadtowonderifherboyfriendslayinbedaftersexandreadherbodylikethebackofaboxofcereal.Rightthenaskinnyoldmanwithflappingarmskin,hisskinshiningwithdriedblood,anakedbloodyoldmanwalkedacrossthefarsideoftheroom.Astinky,nakedoldman,hischestandbackoozingwithcountlesstinywounds.Gavyncouldn’thelphimself.Hedidanick-inducedfull-bodyshudderandacringingdanceasifhe’dsteppedthroughabigspiderweb.Themanwasn’tNickbuthewascloseenough.Gavynlookedathissisterandsaid,“Yours.”

HardlyhadCharlieglimpsedhisownmanhoodinrecentdays,soconstantlyburiedwasitinoneoranotherofShasta’smoistorifices.Hiddenandlaboredwasitbyher,untilhewasgratefultofatethatShastawashisfinalwiferatherthanhisfirst.Anydaythewivesofhisfieldsandhouseholdwouldbegintopushforthhischildren.Theywouldpopwiththeferocityandfrequencyofpopcorn.Manyhadheblessedwithinminutesofoneanother.Theirfruitingwouldoccurwiththesamerelentlessspeedandrepetitionwithwhichhe’dsewnhislordlyseeds.

Amongthesewomenweremanynothappytobeinservicebeneathhim.

InnofemaleexceptShastahadhismanhoodmetitsmatch.Inherwetembracehehadspenthimselftoooft.Likeaninsatiablesuccubuswasshe!Leavinghimsoflaccid.Almostnumb,yetwerehisexhaustedtesteshypersensitivetoeveryjoltofhiscarriagewheels!

Ithadcomeatanopportunejuncture,thiscallingoftheChieftainsCouncil.IfShastayetwaswithoutabellychild,thattaskwasbeyondhisdoingtoperform.

Althoughintuitionandhopehintedotherwise...Greenwashercomplexionasoflate.Andseveraltimesdidshetakeflightfromhermorningrepasttohurlchunksinthepalacecrapper.Ifkinglywisdomserved,Charliehadplantedwithinherloinsanheir.

HadCharlieagreatsacrificetoThoroffered.Aplentitudeofsweetrutabagasandsavorygorsewasit,insuchabundanceastosatiatethegod.AtpresentasheandhispartyapproachedthesilentcitywasthechieftaingreatlygladhehadacquiredthegoodwillofOdinandLoki.ForthedesertedtownshipofPortlandamountedtonotbutadenseforestonitsoutskirts.Thepassingmonthshadallowedthevegetationtoamassitself,consolidatinganimpenetrablejungleoffloweringbuddleia,thiswovenwithtendrilsofstoutprivet,thisshotthroughwithasuffocatingblanketofjunipertams.Theseneglectedsuburbsconstitutedaformidablebarrier.

Nolesserarmyofstoutswordsmencouldhavehackedapaththroughthismattedwallofhybridtearosesanduntamedlilacs.AnycompanysmallerthanCharlie’swould’vebeenswallowedupbytheonslaughtofpyramidalarborvitae.

Norwasvegetationtheirsoleconcern.Thedementednativesdidposeaconstantthreat,asdemonstratedbyadartingfigure.Astalkingpuppet,askeletaloldmanclothedinnaughtbutasheenofdriedblood.Thisspecter,lancedwithwoundsuncountable,dashedwithinsightoftheroyalcompanyforaninstant.Itshouted,“Walter!”andwasinstantlygone.Vanisheddeepintothedensesedge.

Satisfactorytimehadpassedthatthecitywasdeemedsafe.Safeenough.Moststragglershadeateneachother,andthesurvivorswouldbeweakandfew.Astheroyalprocessionallaboredtoclearapath,faintstrainsofmelodyreachedthem.Unseenwasaplayercraftingatuneonsomestringedinstrument.Thecaptainoftheguardcalledforsilence,andthewoodsmenandknightsstilledtheirhacking.

Nonebutthesongbirdsdisturbedthedeadlycalmofthatghosttown.Themusicgrewinvolume,itssourcecomingnear,untilatlastafiguresteppedintoview.

Emergingfromthethicketofdeathanddesolationwasaman.Littlemorethanaskeleton,hisleatherylimbsworetatteredrags.Thisragamuffin,hisfaceappearedlostbehindarobustbeardandtheshroudofhislonghair.Themanheldaguitarinhisarmsandstrummedit.Soabsorbedinhismusicmakingwashethathe’dsteppedamidsttheroyalentouragebeforestoppinginhistracks.Minushissong,onlythebirdsbrokethesilence.

ReclininginhiscarriagewasCharliecaptivatedbythestranger’stunefulness.Thechieftainhadgrownwearyoftheusualmincingjugglersandyodelers.“Here,vagabond!”hebidfromthevehicle’svelvet-cushionedinterior.“Belongyoutoahouseandmaster?”

Thewastrelglancedupfromhisguitar.Hemadenoanswer,theimpertinentvarlet,butcommencedoncemoretosoftlystrokehisinstrument.

Anaxemaninthechieftain’scompanyliftedhisbladeinsubtlethreat.“Answer,you!”Herearedback,readytolopofftheman’sshaggyhead.“AndansweryeinnonebuttheapprovedWhite-SpeakofCaucasia!”

Charliedidcallagain,“Well,man?Areyoufreetobecomemyslave?”

Thetosspotceasedhismusicmaking.“Whoisitwouldbemymaster?”hesneered.

Anotherintheparty,theroyalphysician,spokeup.“Youunschooledgroundling!ThisisnoneotherthanCharlie,chieftainofthefirstlineage.HusbandofthebeautifulQueenShasta,andliberatorofCaucasia!”

Hearingsuchpraise,Charlieliftedhischin,andhischestswelledwithpride.TodisplayhisvaluableNaugahydegloves,heliftedahandasiftostraightenhisweightygoldcrown.

Themusician’sscowldissolved.Hisfacewentslackwithamazement,andhedrewalongbreath.Hestammered,“Mylord,youarenotunknowntome...”Collectinghimself,heplacedanopenhandoverhisheartandbowedhisheadinrespect.Lookingup,heasked,“Yournoblewife,perchanceissheShastaSanchez,formerlyofSoutheastLincolnStreetwhoattendedFranklinHighSchool,workedpart-timeatStarbucks,andplayedgoalieincityleaguesoccer?”

Silenceseizedallpresent.Charliesensedathreat,arivalperhaps.Warily,heasked,“Knowyouthe

shapelylassinquestion?”

Thestrangerwavedawaytheidea.“No,mylord!Herrenownissuchthatallhereaboutsknowherlegend.”Hesetasidehisguitaranddoffedhisraggedstockinghat.“Wetakegreatpridethatamaidenfromourhumbletownshipshouldbecomeaqueenofthewhitepeoples.”

ThestatementpromptedevenmorepridewithinCharlie’sbreast.Hearingsuchpraise,hetookanimmediatelikingtotheman.“Doyouknowthisplace?”Hegesturedaboutattherottingcondominiumsandtumbledownfreewayoverpasses.Heasked,“Canyouguideusthroughthismorassofthornsastoavoidanybandsofhighwaymenwhoyetremaininthisgodforsakenplace?”

Thephysician,Terrence,inquired,“Howareyoucalled,peasant?”

Themanturneddisdainfuleyesontheasker.“Myname?”growledhe.“YoumaycallmeNick.”

Thestrangerfoldedhisarmsandrolledhiseyesasifweighingtheproposaltoserveastheirguide.Hecockedhishead.Hewetthepadofasoiledfingeragainsthistongueandhelditupasiftocheckthespeedanddirectionofthewind.Nexthekneltandpressedonefilthyeartothecrackedconcreteasiflisteningfortheapproachofhorsemen.Onlyafteralltheprecedingdidhenarrowhiseyesandask,“Towhereisyourhighnessjourneying?”

Amountedcavalieramongthemcalledback,“TheTerminalSalesBuilding!”

Fromanothersteed,asecondcavaliershoutedlustily,“Tothehighestconferenceroomofthesame!Thereagatheringofallthechieftainsshalltakeplace!”

CharlieheldupaNaugahyde-glovedhandtosilencethem.Ofthegrimymusicianheasked,“Knowit,you?”

Makingnowordyreply,themanretrievedhisguitarfromtheground.HestartedawayonfootdownashadowyavenuethatnoneamongCharlie’sattendantshadtakennoteof.Hewavedforthemtofollow,andafteramoment’shesitationthemightyhorsesleanedintotheirtracesandthegreatwheelsoftheroyalcarriagecreakedandturned,andattendantsnumberinginthehundredscommencedtomarchforwardinthestranger’swake.

Estebanlistenedtothevoiceoverthephone.Heknewthathistorywouldeventuallyerasethem,buthe’dneversuspecteditwouldbethissoon.TheTalbottbookhadreadiedthemtodie.Ithadliftedthemfromaddictionandresignation.Ithadgiventhemcontroloftheirworldandtheirownlives.Nowatwhatoughttobethetimeoftheirrejoicing,Bingwasgone.

Estebanrelinquishedthephonetotheclerkincharge.Heexcusedhimselftogotothebathroom.Seatedinastall,hediscoveredhashmarksscratchedinthepaint.Hecountedthreehundredseventy-fourmarks.

InGaysia,Delicioushadherfeetinstirrups,buthermindhadwanderedmilesaway.Wondering,wouldGentrystillloveher?Pondering,haditbeenworththistrial,hidinginacountrywhereshedidnotbelong?

Avoicesnappedherbacktothehereandnow.Shelaybackonanexaminingtablewithherlegsintheair.Curtainsdividedthemfrominnumerablesuchboothsstretchingawayoneitherside.Amaskedfigurestoodbetweenherknees.Asurgicalcaphidthetechnician’shair,buthereyeswerebloodshotandsunkeninexhaustedpitsofbaggy,discoloredskin.“There,nowrest,”shesaid,holdingadrippingpipetteinonelatex-glovedhand.Thetechnicianswabbedthepipettewithawipesmellingofalcohol.Inadistractedtone,shesaid,“Thankyouforyourservice.”

Anation’sfirstgenerationisnosmallevent.Deliciouswasthenesttoacuckoo’segg.Shewasthecuckold,compelledtoraiseastranger’schild.Theenemy’schild.Astheenemywouldberaisingoneforher,figurativelyspeaking.

HernewnationteeteredonthebrinkofWorldWarIII.AndsothatGaysiawouldholdasmanyhostagesaspossible,everywomanofchildbearingagehadbeencalledupformandatoryinsemination.Domesticindustrieshadbeenretooledforthemaximumproductionofwartimesperm.

Inthefacilitythecurtainsflutteredasadragqueeninasequin-spanglednurse’sgetupenteredcarryingametaltraycrowdedwithtinypapercups.Delicioustookoneandgulpeddownamouthfulofwateryorangejuicewhilethedragsang,“Theseedinsideyou,Icanseeitgrowing...,”fromthePaulAnkahit“HavingMyBaby.”

Thedragdisappearedintothenextcubicle,andDeliciousheardthesongstartup,again.Thetechnician,whowas,herself,extremelypregnantunderherscrubs,setasideherinstrumentsandstruggledtohelpDeliciousoffthetable.Onceshewasonherfeetasmockwasoffered,andDeliciousslippedherarmsintothesleeves.Fromanearbycubiclecame,“Thankyouforyourservice.”

Thetechnician,pullingafreshstretchofsterilepapertocoverthetable,said,“Werecommendyouliedownintherecoveryareatoguaranteeresults.”

“Thankyouforyourservice,”saidaman’svoiceinthedistance.

Delicioustoldherself,Anotherangelgotitswings,andsuppressedalaugh.

TokeepupappearancesBellehadbroughtherandwaswaitinginthereceptionarea.Theclinicitselfhadoncebeenanairport.InafewweeksDeliciouswouldreturnthefavorandescortBellebackhereforthesametreatment.TheDixiecupoforangejuice.ThesnippetofPaulAnka.

Thesmockamountedtoamilitaryuniform.Delicioustoldherself,Thosealsoservewhoonlysitandwaitwiththeirlegsintheair,andchokedbackahystericalgiggle.Thestreetsandshopswerefilledwithwomenwearingthissamefloursack.Roomy,itwasdesignedtobewornthroughgivingbirth,subjectingthewearertoendlessroundsofbeingthankedbystrangers.

Theyrodehomeinacab,anextravagance.Attheirdestinationthedriverrefusedtoacceptpayment.Hebegan,“Thankyoufor—,”butDeliciousavertedherfaceandraisedanopenhandtointerrupthim.

Fromtheentrancetothealleywaybesidetheirbuildingamassofcandlesandteddybearsspilledoutontothestreet.Bouquetsofcarnationsfilledtheairwiththesweetnessofrot.Hand-letteredandheart-shapedsympathycardsread“Bing”and“OurHero!”Aqueueofmournersstretcheddowntheblock,eachwaitinghisorherturntodepositabouquetofrosesorafluttering,flashingbunchofMylarballoonsinrainbowcolors.

Acrewoftelevisionnewspeoplepannedthecrowdwiththeirlights.Amanwithamicrophonewalkedtheline,askinghowtheassassinationhadaffectedpeople.Afewweptopenly.Thenewscasterturnedtoaddressthecamera,saying,“Policehavelocatedsecurityfootageofthekilling.They’veannouncedthatanarrestisimminent.”

Thetwowomenhurriedfromthecab,keysinhand,tothebuilding’sdoorway.Behindthemachorusofvoicesshouted,“Thankyoufor...”Theelevatordoorspinchedoffthefinalwords.

Safelyinsidetheapartment,withtheboltthrownandthechainon,Bellecalled,“We’rehome.”Whennooneresponded,shecalled,“Felix?”

Thetelevisionwason.AsalwaysTalbottfilledthescreen.Hetoldthem:

Theworldwantsaunifiedfieldtheory.Athing,onesomethingthatexplainseverything—giveittothem.

DeliciousstoodinthelivingroomasBellesteppedtoherson’sdoorandknocked.OntelevisionTalbottsaid:

Themeasureofamanisnotwhathedoesforwagesbutwhathedoeswithhisfreetime.

WhenBellereappearedshewascarryingasheetofpaper.Fromitsheread,“DearMom...,”andlookedatDeliciouswithbrimmingeyes.

Canadawasatest.LongaftersunsetDawsondrovethebackroadsofwhatusedtobeIdaho.Afterthefugitive,Ramantha,hadfallenasleepheturneddownarutteddirtlanecrowdedbybriarsonbothsides.Nomoonhadrisen.Hefollowedhisheadlightsintothedarkuntilhecouldseeafenceblockingtheirpath.Agatestoodinthecenterwithnosign.Itsdistancewasjustasfarashecouldmakeoutinhishighbeams.

Dawsonreachedoverandnudgedthewoman.“We’rehere.”

Shejoltedawake.Peeredintothenightaroundthem.

“We’reattheborder,”hetoldher.Godonlyknewwhatthatgateledto.Someestatewhereshe’dbetakenprisonerandexecutedinaccordwiththenewlaws.Orwastheresomebackpasturewherethewolveswouldchaseherdown?Eitherwayshe’dbedead.Theyweren’tanywherenearCanada.

Butshe’dnolongerbehisproblem.

Heshutofftheenginebutkepttheheadlightson.Helookedaroundasiftocheckforborderpatrols.

Shesquintedthroughthestreakedwindshieldandasked,“Throughthatgate?”

Henodded.“Hurry.”ThewordsofTalbottwhisperedfromthetruck’sradio,“...thewayofmanisnottohopebuttotakeactionandtoproduceresults...”

Shekepthereyesonthedistantgateasherhandscheckedherpockets.

Dawsonfelttheweddingringstuffedinhisownpantspocket.Hewaitedforsomethanks.Hehadn’tkilledher.He’ddeliveredhertosafety,safetyasfarassheknew.Shewasfailinghistestbigtime.

Forthefirsttime,sheglancedatthetruck’svisor,atawallet-sizedphototapedthere.Itshowedawomansmiling.“Pretty,”shesaid.“Yourwife?”

Helookedatthepictureofhiswife,Roxanne,smilingdownontheminthemurkygreenglowofthedashboardlights.Hesaid,“No.”Hesaid,“Mysister.”

Withoutawordofgratitude,thewomanswungopenthepassengerdoorandsteppedout.Shelookedathimandopenedhermouthtospeak.Hereyeskeptdartingtothegate.Bugsspiraledandflittedinthetwinconesoflight.Thegateglowedwhiteasphosphorusburning,withblacknessassolidasawallontheotherside.Awolfhowledmediumcloseby.Hereyessnappedbacktohim.“WhereinCanada?”

Dawsonmadeashowofliftingonehand,pullingbackhisshirtsleeve,andlookingathiswristwatch.Itwasaftermidnight.Ifshethankedhiminthenextminutehemightnotletherwanderofftoherdoom.Anotherhowlsplitthenight.“OkanoganValley,”hetoldher.Hedescribedprettylittlehousesandorchardsfilledwithcherrytrees.Gardensandlakes.Heassuredherthatonceshe’dpassedthroughthegateshe’dqualifyasapoliticalrefugee,andthey’dhavetoprovideherwithshelterandafreshstartinlife.

Hecouldletherlastthoughtsbeacomfortingfantasy.Sheshouldstumbleintothedarkexpectingtofindloveandacceptance.Oncethatwolfpackcaughtupwithher,notlongafterhe’ddrivenaway,she’dwishshe’ddiedonAdjustmentDay.

Theacademic,Ramantha,shestoodbesidethetruck.Shepulledsomethingfromapocketofhercoatandleanedintoplacethisgiftontheseatbesidehim.Papersomething.Inthedimlightitwasoldmoney,uselesstrash.“Foryourtrouble,”shesaid.Shebeltedthecoattightaroundherself.“Leaveyourheadlightson,”sheordered,“atleastuntilIgetthrough.”

Inquickresolutesteps,shemarchedaway.Centeredinthelights.Hershadowloomedinfrontofher,toweringandterrible.Eachstepraiseddustthatfloatedinherwake.

She’dturnedoutjustliketheothers.Aselfish,gutlesstribewhoconsideredjusttheirownself-interests.Shewasn’tthefirst.Dawsonhadbroughtothershere.Thefirstwasajournalistwho’dmanagedtoescapeAdjustmentDay.Tweedsomething,atelevisionreporter.Thesecondhadbeenanotherthinktanker,adoctor.Dr.Ashanti,atherapistwithahalf-millionvotestohisnameonthelist.Bothhadchargedoffintothedarknessinexpectationofthewarmembraceoflike-mindedliberalprogressives.Athirdhadbeensomedude,acitycouncilmanfromSeattle.Eachofthethreehadgonethroughthegatewithoutsomuchasagoodnight.AfterwardDawsonhadkilledhisheadlightsandsatlistening.Eachnight,thehowlinghadfoundthembeforetheycouldfindtheirwaybacktohistruck.He’dheardthemcrashingthroughthebriarsandscrub.Andhe’dheardthemscreaming.Neverhisname,becausenoneofthemhadeveraskedhisname.They’donlyshriekedforhelp.Forsomeonetohelpthem.Forsomeonetosavethem.They’dscreamed“mister”andthey’dscreamed“please,”andintheendthey’donlyscreamed.

Thisone,Ramantha,washalfwaytothegate.

Dawsonhadthesamethoughteachtime.Insteadoflettingthewolvesshredthisone,heconsideredgunningthetruck’sengine,droppingitintothirdgear,andpeelingout.Hecouldrunherdown.Takeherear.Amercykilling.Awin-winbenefitingeveryoneoncethewolvesfoundhercorpse.

Heslidahandintohispocketandplayedwiththeweddingringhiddenthere.Homewaited.Hehadn’tbeenhomeallseason.He’dspenthisyouthbeingagoodhusbandandamodelemployeeontheshopfloor.Sure,nowhewasachieftain.Ifhewanted,hecouldhaveapasselofwives.Ruleovermultitudes.Butthatjustlookedlikeabiggerversionofthesametrap.Asarulerhe’dhaveto

beagoodhusbandtomorewomen.Andakingamountedtobeingamodelemployeewithcountlesspeopletolookafter.

Hisfingertipsfelttheround,hard,closedcircleoftheweddingring.

That’swhyhe’dbeenontheroadthislong.He’ddiscoveredhehadthesoulofabarbarian.Awarrior.Andwinningwasdeathtothatspirit.Hewantedanewarmyandnewbattles.

Winningwasfine,butnothalfasrewardingasfighting.That’swhythetesting.Tofindjustonepersontoserveashisaccomplice.Apartnertohelphimkeeptheadventureofhislifegoing.

Itcouldbethathe’dlivedatthebottomoftheheapfortoolong.Hecouldonlysavorthefight.Hisconstitutionwasn’tcompatiblewithpeaceandleisure.Whateversidehadtheuphillbattle,that’sthesideDawsonwantedtojoin.

Thefigureofthefugitiveacademicrecededintothedistance.Hershadowagainstthegatewasalmostthesamesizeasher.Theheadlightsblazed,turningherbackintooneblankwhiteshapeofahuman.Hershadowwastheblackversionofthissameshape.Andinanotherstepthesetwoopposingshapeswouldtouch.

Hehadn’twishedthisfortheothers,buttonightDawsonwilledforhertostop.Hishandhoveredabovethecenterofthesteeringwheel,readytohonkthehorn.Towarnher.Still,heknewtherewasnopointinsavingherunlessshewasworthy.Whispering,hebeggedhertostop.Tocomeback.Tojoinhimonhisnextcampaign,whateverthatwouldbe.

Heyearnedtobeaforceforchange,notalandlord.Hiswifewouldn’tstarve,she’dcontinuetoreceivehisallotmentofTalbottbucks,anincomesufficienttomaintainherhundredsofdependentservants.

Asasmallsacrifice,herolleddownhiswindow.Hisfingersproducedtheringfromhispocket,andheliftedittowardthespaceopenabovetheglass.Heletitdropanditfell,bouncingonceagainsttheoutsideofthedoor.Atinychime.Thenitwaslost.

Atthechime,thewomanfrozeinplace.Onehandhadreachedouttotouchthelatch,andthisblazingwhitehandtouchedthefingertipsofhershadowhand.Thenbothhandspulledawayfromeachother.

Sheturnedandbeganwalkingback.

Thewolveshowledcloser,andDawsonlaidonthetruck’shorntoscarethemaway.Heleanedacrosstheseatandpushedopenherdoor.

Sheclimbedin.“Ican’t...,”shesaid,hervoiceflatwithresolve.Herarmsfoldedacrossherchest,shesaid,“Ican’tjustgiveupandforgeanewlife.Notforallthemaplesyrupintheworld.”

Itwasn’tfearofthewolves.Thewomanhadchanged.

Sheglaredintothenight.“Ican’tletthebadguyswin.Ican’tditchmyideals.”Sheturnedtomeethisgaze,hereyesblazing.“GenderStudiesisarealthing,andIwon’tletitbealostcause,notifIhavetofightbackwitheverydropofmyblood.”

Furycloudedherface.Herfrailhandsclenchedintostonyfists.Inavoicehoarsewithvengeance,sherasped,“Peopleshouldreadbellhooks!”

Dawsonhadbeenwrong.She’dpassedhistest.Shewasafighter.Akeeper.

Herfacesoftened.“Wherearemymanners,”shesaid,“Ineverthankedyou...”Sheofferedherhand.“Please,tellmeyourname?”

Atthathetoldher,“Dawson,”andturnedthekeyinthetruck’signition.

MissJohadtakentoreadingtheTalbottbook.Itheldthattheactofstorytellingwasessentiallydigestiveinnature.Webringupatopicmuchlikehowaruminantanimal,acowforexample,bringsuppartiallymasticatedgrassfromitsstomach.Inourstoriesweexhaustouremotionalattachmenttopastevents.Weelicitsimilarstoriesfromothers.Bymullingthingsover—andthewordmullingmeanttogrind,justasruminatemeanttothink—weareabletoassimilatethemostunhappyorhappyexperiencesofourlives.Weacceptthemasnormalhumanevents.Wequittellingthem,andthestoriesbecomepartofus.

MissJo,she’dbeenrecountingthegloryofherfamilyandraceforsolongthatshehadwhitefatigue.TheTalbottbookclaimedthatmankindwassufferingidentifyfatigue.Peoplewerelivingtoolongtoretainasingleself.Therefore,theboldestwereseekinganewfrontier.Menwerebecomingwomen.Whiteswerebecomingblacks.

DawningonMissJowasthefactthatshewastheculminationofalonglineofrebelsandpioneers.Shewasthelastofherbreed,andshewasbonetiredofrepeatedlygivinglipservicetoherillustriousfamilyhistory.Herfamilyhadoutliveditsglory.Itsstoriescoulddiewithher.

Thestoryofherlifewasatastelessmouthofmush.Sherosefromherchairandmovedaroundtheroomturningoffthelamps.Incompletedarkness,herfingertipsfoundthecandleandthematchbookonthelacedoilyonherbedsidetable.

Shelitamatch.

Thebooksaid,“Peopleareaddictedtobeingright.”

ItsuggestedgoingtoadinnerpartyandstatingoverthetablethatthewriterSylviaPlathwasaracistduetothescientificconclusionsshe’dreachedinhermostfamousbook,TheBellCurve.Yourfellowguestswillenjoysputtering,multipleorgasmsofrightnessastheycorrectyou.ExpoundonthefactthatdespiteallofhislegendaryassociationwiththeAlgonquinRoundTable,RobertBenchleydidn’tachievepopularsuccessuntilhewroteJaws.LecturethatmanypeoplebelievetheNewZealandshort-storywriterKatherineMansfieldwasbeheadedinabizarrecaraccidentthattookplaceonaLouisianabridgeheavilyshroudedinmosquitoinsecticide.Thefactofthematteristhatshediedofbluntheadtrauma,buthersignatureblondewigwasphotographedwhereithadcometorestintheshatteredwindshieldofthecar,leadingmanytoconcludeherheadwasseveredfromherbodybytherearedgeoftheflatbedtruckherdriverhadrearended.Concludebysayingthatsinceherdeathallcommercialtruckchassismustcomeequippedwithabarontheundercarriage,calledthe“Mansfieldbar,”whichliftsthevehicleinsimilarcollisionsandpreventssuchfatalinjuries.

“Itmighttakeamoment,”Talbottcounseled,“Butyouraudiencewilldescenduponyou,correctingyouwithalltheyelpingbloodfrenzyofapackofrabidhyenasfellingalonewildebeest.”

Makingothersrightredeemstheirpaltryandpointlesseducations.

Makingothersrightmakesthemloveyou,accordingtoTalbott,becauseweonlylovethingswefeelsuperiorto.Weonlylovethosewhodon’tposeathreat.

Makingothersrightisthebestmethodforcontrollingthem.

Jamalwassavoringasnifterofpre–CivilWarport.Heneededthedrink.Havingrecentlyreturnedfromthecouncilofchieftains,heknewthatBlacktopiacouldn’tavoidawarwithGaysia.

HeraisedhisglasstothepeaceandprosperitybroughtaboutbyAdjustmentDay.Itwouldsoonbeinterrupted.Thefuturewasalreadyuponthem.

Raisinghisglass,hetoastedthemilitarymendepictedintheoilpaintingsonthewallsaroundhim.Eachmanhadfollowedthedictatesofhisconscience.Eachhadbeenaheroaccordingtohistimeinhistory.Theirworldhadbeenadifferentworldthanhis.Jamalhadtoadmiretheircourageanddetermination,eveniftheiractualactsmightseemill-advisedinretrospect.Paintedlikethis,framedandhungtodecoratesomeparlorwalls,theymightbeprimpedandposedforposterity,butthesethugshadbeenthebadassesoftheirday.

HespeculatedthatevensomethingasnobleasAdjustmentDaymightbedeemeddespicableinthedistantfuture.AsperTalbott:

Theweakestpeoplealivewilltrytoglorifythemselvesbytearingdownthetrulyamazingstrengthofthedead.

Tosomeyet-to-be-bornweakling,Jamal’slikenessmightbetheimageofavillain.Jamalonlyhopedthatfuturecowardcouldappreciatethebraveryithadtakentodispatchafailingsystemandreplaceitwithsomethingnew.Facingaspotted,antiquemirror,liftinghissnifterofport,hetoastedhimself.

That’swhenhispitbull,Bouncer,rosefromthecarpetandsniffedtheair.Thedogwhined.

That’swhenJamalhadsmelledsmoke.Theashesinthefireplacewerecold.Asirenblastedfromsomewhereinthehouse,asmokedetector.Asecondjoinedit.Achorusofsirenswailedfromtheceilingofeveryroom.

HismindwenttotheterroristsTalbotthadwarnedagainst.TheloyalistsorCanadianswerecommittingarsoninordertothwartthenewnationstates.Someonepledgedtoreunitingtheformerlyunitedstateshadputatorchtothehouse.Eitherthat,oragentsofGaysiawerealreadyattacking.

Heclimbedthestepsthreeatatime.Thesmokehungheavieronthesecondfloor,heavierstillonthethird.Atthetopofthestairstheatticdoorfelthottohistouch.Hewrappedthetailofhisuntuckedshirtaroundthedoorknob,butitwouldn’tturn.Locked.

Poundinghisfistsonthewood,heshouted,“Barnabas!Openup!”

Afeeblevoiceanswered,“Youdon’tunderstand.”

Thedoorwasalmosttoohottobeatagainst,butJamalslammeditwithhisshoulder.Thecenturies-oldoakwouldn’tbudge.“Unlockthisdoor!”hecommanded,andhisownvoiceshockedhim.Theauthority,hisauthority,boomed.Itwasavoiceforgivingspeecheswithoutneedofamicrophone.

Poundinghisfistsonthewood,heshouted,“Barnabas!Openup!”

Thiswasn’t,thiswouldnotbetheendofhisbook.Atbestthiswouldbethecrisisattheendofthefirstact.Hisbook,BlackLikeYou,neededalotmorewritingbeforehecouldcallitdone.LikeTheThreeFacesofEve,allsuccessfulcasestudiesneededahappyending.

Ifhisstrengthdidn’twork,hiswileswouldhaveto.“Oh,Barnabas,”hebegged,“Ineedyou.Onlyyoucantellmethehistoryoftheplantation.”

Theunseenvoicesobbedinreply.Itcouldn’tbemorethanafinger’slengthaway,separatedfromJamalbyonlythisslabofoak.“Damnthisplace,”itsobbed,“it’sstolenmylife.I’vebeenafooltokeeppraisingthepast.”

InspirationstruckJamal.“Thenleavewithme.BecomeafounderinthegloriousfutureofBlacktopia!”

Somethingfellheavilyagainsttheoppositesideofthedoorandslidtothefloor.Thesmokewasoverwhelming.Whenthevoicespokenext,itspokefromthethincrackatthefloor.There,whereBouncersniffedanddugagainstthefloorboardswithbothpaws,theweak,faintvoicesaid,“Jamal,youdon’tunderstand...”

Hedroppedtothefloorandyelledback,“Iunderstand.”

“Myfamilyhasdeeprootshere,”thevoicewhispered.

Jamalspokesofternow,“Sodoesmine.”

Thedyingvoicesighedwithresignation,“Jamal,I’mnotevenanegro.”

Jamalalmostlaughed.Almost.Insteadheaskedhimselfwhathishero,TalbottReynolds,woulddointhissituation.Andagainsttheroarofthegrowinginfernoandthechoirofshriekingsmokealarms,Jamalbellowed,“I’mnotblack,either!”

Atthatthestairwaylightsflickeredandfailed.Glasscrashedsomewhere,windowsexplodingoutwardorthecrystaldecantersintheparlor,filledwiththeexcellentflammablehooch.Inthischaosofnoise,thedarknessrelievedbyonlyflashesoforangeflame,aneternityseemedtopass.

TheBarnabascreaturewasdead,Jamalassumed,andhehimselfwoulddieifhewaitedatthisdooramomentlonger.

Thedoor’sboltclicked.Theknobturned,andthedoorswungasidetorevealastooped,soot-blackenedimpsurroundedbythepyresofhell.Bug-eyedwithshock,thedemonasked,“Whatdoyoumeanyou’renotblack?”

Thedogwhined,andJamaltoldit,“Go!”Hegotthehellbabytightaroundonewristanddraggeditalong,airborne,ashedovedownthetunneloffirethestairwayhadbecome.

Thebrightestmindsoftheretentioncenterseemedtobepreoccupied.Theguardatthedeskwas

deepinhushedconversationwiththedoorguard.EvenwhenCharmapproachedthemandsaid,“Ineedmybrother,here,tohelpmegetsomethingfromthecar...,”eventhenneitherguardlookedup.Thedoorguardjustwavedherthrough.

CharmandGavynfoundthemselvesstandingonthefrontstepsoverlookingtheparkinglotandthegatebeyond.Amongthecarsinthevisitorparkingspaces,onewastheirmother’s.Inthecarparkednexttoittheafternoon’sspeaker,Esteban,satbehindthesteeringwheel.Heweptfuriously,cuppingbothhandsoverhismouth.Evencrying,hisshouldersheaving,andhischestshudderingwithraggedsobs,hewasstilltotallydoable.

“Mine,”Charmwhispered.

Herbrothersaid,“Youwish.”

Theysidledtowardtheircar.Aguardinatowernearthegateheldarifleatparaderest.Evenfromadistancehelookedgross.

Inunison,bothsiblingssaid,“Yours.”

Gavynsaid,“Jinx.”

Hissistersaid,“Getinthecar.”

“Andgowhere?”heasked.They’dnevergetpasttheclosedsecuritygate.

Charmwavedtotheguardinthetower.Sheclimbedbehindthewheelandstartedtheengine.

Gavyngotinthepassengerside,andtheypulledout.

Bynowthedoorguardandthedeskguardhademergedfromthebuildingandwererunningafterthem.Themaninthetowerheldsomethingtohisear.

Asthecarspedacrossthepavement,astheclosedgateseemedtoraceforwardtomeetthem,thecar’sradiopreached,“Thejoyoffictionisthatitonlyhastosmelltrue.”

Charmscreechedtoastop,leavingsmokingskidmarksontheconcretedrive.Thegatewasmadeupofsteelbarstooheavytoramthrough,electrifiedalso,andtheguardswerealmosttothecar.Akeypadwasperchedatopapolewithinarm’sreachofthedriver’swindow.

Gavynwatchedtheguardsapproachingintherearviewmirrorandsaid,“Busted.”

Charmloweredherwindowandreachedout.Deftly,shepunchednumbers,andthegateswungopen.

Theyspungravel.

Astheguardsshrankanddisappearedinthedistancebehindthem,coughinginthesmokeofburntrubber,Gavynmarveled.“Howdidyouknowthecode?”

Charmthrewhimasmile.“Believeitornot,”shesaid,“Iswappedspitforit.”Shesaid,“Putonyourseatbelt.”

Gavynbuckledhisseatbelt.

Astheyplungedthroughasuccessionofimmolatingparlorsanddrawingrooms,MissJosephinemarveledatherownobtuseness.Thisboy,thisJamal,hisfacewasthespittingimageofsomanyoftheancestralportraits.Hiswasthesamepatricianbrow.Thehigh,thoughtfulforeheadandwidow’speakrecedinghairline.HehadtheslightlyhoodedPeabodyeyelids,theresultofgenerationsofcarefulmatchmaking.

Draggingheronanobstaclecourse,veeringbetweenblazingsetteesandfierysideboards,theyoungmanexplainedthathewasthedescendantofanantebellumslavebythenameofBelinda.Theforgottengraveinthewoods.Thegirlhadbeenwooedbyandsecretlywedtoagreat-great-greatuncleofMissJo’s.

“There,”Jamalshoutedastheydashedpasttheburning,curlingportraitofahandsomeConfederatemajor,“thereismygreat-great-great-greatgrandfather!”

TheBarnabasmarveled,“Soyou’rewhite!”

Jamalwinced.Hescowled,“Hell,no!”Shoutingtobeheardovertheroaringconflagration,hesaid,“Ionlyliedtosaveyourdementedwhite-privilegedass!”

Thescorchedimpstaredbackathiminconfusion.

“But,”headded,“mybloodisyourblood.IamyourlastlivingPeabodykinsman!”

Bellestoodintheliving-roomdoorwayandreadaloudtheletterfromherson.

“DearMom,”itbegan.“WhatIdidwasn’tself-defense.ItwastodefendthoseIlove.Isn’tthatwhatAdjustmentDaywasallabout?”

BellemetDelicious’seyesandthrewaglanceatanarmchair.Suddenlymindfulofherafternooninsemination,Delicioussatdown.

“WhatI’mdoingnow,”Bellecontinuedtoread,“I’malsodoingtoprotectyoursecretandkeepyousafe.”

Faintanddownthehallwayoutsidetheapartmenttheelevatorbellrang.Heavyfootstepsandmuffledvoicesdrewcloser.

Readingfaster,theletterflappinginhershakinghands,Bellesaid,“I’mgoingtotheborderlandstoseeiftherumorsaretrue...Iwanttoliveinasocietybasedonchoiceinsteadofbiologicalcircumstances.”

Fromthehallwaycamethesoundofaneighboringapartmentdoor.Avoiceasked,“Isthisaboutthekilling?”Asurlyvoiceresponded,“Policebusiness!Getbackinyourunit!”

DeliciousnoddedforBelletokeepreading.

Hereyesdartingbetweentheletterandtheclosedfrontdoor,Bellesaid,“Anareapatrolledbywolves.Areasmadeoff-limitsbymountainlions.Thethornsandhornetsandmosquitoeswillserveasmymoatandbattlements...”

Thenoiseinthehallwayhadgonequietwhenapoundingbeganontheoutsideoftheapartmentdoor.Agruff,menacingvoiceshouted,“Police!Openup!”

DeliciousexchangedpanickedglanceswithBelle.Thelatterread,“I’msorryBingisdead.Bingwasmybestfriend.”

Thevoiceinthehallwaycontinued,“WehaveawarrantforthearrestofFelix!”

Deliciousliftedbothhandsasifholdingasheetofpaper.Shepantomimedtearingitinhalf.

Belletoretheletterintwo.

Delicioussnatchedonehalfandwaddeditintoatightball,noddingforBelletofollowsuit.AsBellecrumbledherhalf,Deliciousstuffedtheballintoherownmouthandgrounditbetweenherbackteeth.Belledidthesame.

Thevoiceoutsidethedoorshouted,“Wehavethebuildingsurrounded!”

Withamightygulp,Deliciousswallowedherwadofpaper.Belletried,gagging,herhandsclutchingatherthroat,herfaceturningblue.

Theapartmentdoorburstinward.AnexplosionofsplintersrainedonthetwowomenasDeliciouspoundedBellebetweentheshoulderblades.

Atalljack-bootedfigurewassteppingthroughtheshattereddoor.Adragqueeninaglitter-encrustedpoliceuniform,sportingabadgeheavilylayeredwithrhinestones,demanded,“Where’stheboy?”Pinnedtotheuniformwasanametagwith“Esteban”spelledoutintinyjewels.

Theofficerheldaservicerevolversoheavilycrustedwithsmallgemsthatitwasimpossibletoguessitsmakeorcaliber.

Attheshockingsightofthisblindingcolossus,Belleswallowedhard.Inthatmannertheletterwasresolved.

ThePeabodyMansewasdoomed.Genteelasitwas,thatlegacyofpolishedsilverjulepcupsandrosewoodharpsichords,itwascrashingintofierywreckagearoundtheirears.

WhenitseemedcertainthatBarnabasandJamalwouldperishbeneaththetopplingmassofagrandfatherclock,adog’sbarkdrewtheirattention.Bouncer,withadog’ssuperiorolfactorytalent,hadnavigatedthedensesmoketofindthefrontdoor.JamalandMissJohadonlytofollowthesoundofbarkingandtheyquicklyfoundthemselvesonthefrontporch.

Eventhen,thetoweringGreekrevivalcolumnsthatfrontedthemanse,thosecolumnsweresplittingintheintenseheat.Thegreat,blazingporticofelltowardthemwiththespeedanddeafeningroarofafreighttrain.

Amightyleaptothefrontlawnsavedhumansanddog.Andwhiletheancientfamilyseatcrumbledbehindthem,theyranintothecoolnight.

Panting,MissJosephineworriedaloud,“What’stobecomeofus?”

Sprintingbesideher,Jamalasked,“Yourememberthatbook,TheGrapesofWrath?”

MissJonodded,hurriedly.

“Everythingtheydidtosurvive,”Jamalsays,“weneedtodojusttheopposite.”

AccordingtoTalbotttheirbookwouldchangetheworld.

Walterhadsnorted.“You’rejoking.Thisbookisajoke,right?”

Hisnewoldmanhadlaughedwetly,anoiselikesomeonegargling,andsaid,“That’swhatRudolfHessasked!”Heexhaledforone,two,threebeats,alongtime,deflatingwiththefinalityofadyingbreath.Theribsofhischestfoldedinwarduntilthereseemedtobenothingleftinsideofhim.

Walterhadfidgeted,hishandsreadytotakenotes.He’dbeenlisteningforsolonghe’dlosttheknackforforminghisownthoughts.“Youwroteafantasy.”He’dadded,“Wewroteafantasy.”

Talbott’schinhadsunkuntilitcametosettleagainsthischest.“We’rewreckingthenationtosavethepeople.”He’drested,breathingheavily.“Youngblacksareshootingeachotherinrecordnumbers.Gaysarekillingeachotherwithdisease.”He’dlaboredforthenextbreath.“Whitesarewipingthemselvesoutwithopiates.”Hisframehadsagged.Hisheadhadtoppledforward.

Onlytherestraintshadheldhiminthechairastheoldmanwhispered,“Whetherit’sbybreedingchildrenorpreaching,it’swhatmendo:Thisconstantdisseminationofself.”

“Isthatwhatwe’redoing...,”Walterpaused,“disseminating?”

InBeforeTimes...backbeforethisbookwasabook...hisnewoldmanhadfailedtorespond.

“Thisisjustabook,”protestedWalter.“It’snotsupposedtohappen!”

Theoldmanhadseemedtocollecthisstrength.Liftinghisheadhe’dcontinued,“Weregularlysacrificepeopletopreservethenation.”Hislipshadformedaloose,sloppysmile.“Perhapsweoughttoscuttlethenationeveryhundredyearsinordertopreservethepeople.”

He’dfixedWalterwithblearyeyes.“Thankyou,Warner.”

Walterhadn’tcorrectedhim.

Hisnewoldmanhadcontinued,“You’remyBoswell.”Talbotthadsaid,“Myscribe.”Stenographer.Amanuensis.He’dexplainedthatJeremiahhaddictatedhispartsoftheBibletohissecretary,Baruch.St.Paulhadwrittenthegospelsthroughhisscribe,Terius.St.PeterthroughSilas.St.JohnthroughProchorus.

HitlerhaddictatedMeinKampftoRudolfHess.

“TheBible.”Walterhadlaughedatthecomparison.

HistonehadwarmedasTalbottconfided,“You’reascloseasIwilleverhavetoason.You,you’retheapprenticeeverymandreamsofteaching.Youwillcarrymylifetime’swisdomintothefuturesothatmankindwillbenefit!”

Walterhadsuppressedashudder.

“Theworldwantsaunifiedfieldtheory,”Talbotthadcrowed.“Athing,onesomethingthatexplainseverything—giveittothem!”Hiseyelidsfluttered.Thebloodthathadbeenleakingfromadozen

stubborninfectionsceasedtoflow.“Ifyouwanttomakeyourfortune,buyNaugahyde.”Talbott’svoicefelltoawhisper,“GetagunandreporttoDawsonorJamal.Killthetargetsheassignsyou.”Atthathe’dseemedtodriftofftosleep.Hisheadhadfloppedbackwardandhungoverthebackofthechair,hismouthstretchedopen,histonguelolling.

Walterhadn’tcheckedhispulse.That’showdeadhe’dlooked.NeitherhadWaltercalled9-1-1.Therewerelargerissuesatstake.He’dbeeninthebasementforweekswhiletheoutsideworldhadbeenslowlyandirreparablychanged.Forallhe’dknownpitswerebeingdug.Thelist,America’sLeastWanted,nowstretchedtothousandsofnames.Tensofthousands.TheTalbottbookhadbeendistributedtojustasmanyreaders.Everythingthey’ddone,ithadtobeajoke.Agiantfraud.

Justincaseitwasn’t,WalterhadtelephonedNick.He’dtelephonedShasta.

Shastaturnedvamp.Beguiling,shedidbeg,“Matewithme,milord.”ShedidmakehereyeshalfclosedatCharlie.Shedidparthercrimsonlipsslightlyasifsheweredrunkenwithaharlot’smaddesire.

Scarcelyhadhereturnedfromthetribalcouncilwhenshehadpressedhimforintercourse.Hehadscarcelyvacatedhiscarriage.Thisvagabond,Nick,haddeftlynavigatedthemthroughthewastelandofPortland,toandfromthecouncilsite.Nowhewasstrumminghisguitar.Delightfulweretheman’sharmonies.SuchapleasantcompanionwashethatCharliebidhimreturntoMaryhillandregalethecourtforthedurationofthebountifulgourdharvest.

AsprotocoldictatedCharlieintroducedthislatestplayertohishomewives,hiscourtiers,andhisqueen.

StruckdidShastalookinthemoment,althoughsheinsistedshe’dneverbeforeencounteredthemusicalstranger.ShedidblushheavilyandentreatCharlietoretirewithher,makingmuchofhowhisbeingawayhadspurredinherloinsapowerfullonging.

Retreatingtotheirprivateapartments,shedidsnatchathislacings.Recklesslycastingasidehispearl-studdedcodpiece.Andwithslipperymachinationsofmouthandhanddidshestruggletoexcitehim.

Todatehe’dmatedwithherineverycornerofthepalace,andhewasobviouslyexhausted.HedidtossbackhandfulsofViagratonoavail.Hiskinglyscepterandorbscontinuedtofeelspongyandunresponsive.Theyhunglimpandheavyandcuriouslynumb.Yetsosensitiveweretheirsurfacesthatevenhismostpliantcodpiececausedhimdiscomfort.Theconditionwastheresultofoveruse,theroyalphysicianhadassuredhim.Fromstress,hedidassurehimself.

Despitehisprotests,hisqueenwasoncemorebesieginghim.Despitesurelybeingbynowblessedwithadvancedbellychild,tojudgefromchangesinherbosomandtheabsenceofhermenses,despitebeingsoencumberedShastadidclutchathisNaugahydepantalets.Shedidripherownbodiceandboldlyexposeherself.Hervoluptuousbodybare,hisfavoredwifemaneuveredtostraddlehimandbybrutestrengthforceuponhimherperfumedcharms.

Alasweretheroyalscepterandorbsimmunetohersensualgrabbing.Akintoadeceasedboawashis.Paleandbonelessasalengthofsausagecasingdiditappear,yetShastaproceededtotugatitwithcarnalfury.

Charlieborehereffortswithhusbandlygoodhumor,fortheyborescantpain.Soarduouswereherexertions,hereasoned,thatshe’dsoonexhaustherself.HismindechoedfaintlythetaleofTerrence’smotherandthecatheter.

Untilonemightyyank...Withaheroicjerkthequeenfellbackwardofftheirmarriagebed.Risingfromthecarpetssheheldaloftaprize.Slackandflacciditwas.Rubberyandlimp.Bloodlessasthemoonithunggrippedinherfist.

“Whathaveyoudone?”criedCharlie.“Witch,you!”

“Dude,stopwiththeRennFaire–speak,already!”Shastadidretort.Sheshookthedrippingtrophy.“Noduh!Youeverhearofthebrownreclusespider?”

Thendidshelaunchintoalearnedtiradeaboutsomearachnid.Aspiderthebiteofwhichinjectedatoxinintoitsunknowingvictim.Fortocreatenecrotictissue,wasitsloathsomevenom.Mostoftenpainlesswasthisbite,andtheeffectsweregradual.

“Dude,”laughedthemeat-clutchingfemale,“I’vebeenputtingspidersonyourhighness’royaldingussincethefirstwatercressharvest,duh!”

Overtime,thispoison,thispoisonousspidervenomhadanesthetizedandbeguntobreakdownhisorganofmanliness.Theprogressiveeffectsofmultiplesecretspiderbiteshadgraduallydissolvedthecellularstructures,leavinghistoolofreproductionhardlymorethananelongatedsackofpinkishjelly.

This,thisbladderofgoodidtheenragedqueenripasunder.NowdidsheholdithighaboveherheadanddidshakethebonelesstrophylikeaPolaroidpicture.

Thatquiveringmassofsemisolid,insensatefleshshediddrawbackherpitchingarmandmakereadytothrow.

Charlie,mightychieftainofthefirstlineageofCaucasia,noblelordoftheMaryhillestate,boldkillerofmanyenemiesfromTheList,CharliechosenbyChieftainDawson,CharliethechooserofChieftainMartin,chooserofChieftainPatrick,chooserofChieftainMichael,atthisdidCharliereleaseascreechingwail.

ContinuedShasta,“Ilookedonyourcomputer.”Shedidscream,“IknowwhatyouguysdidtoWalter!”

Withoutpausedidsheflingthewiltedmeatstickagainstabedchambercasementofhighlycoloredglass,throughwhichitexplodedinashowerofredsandgoldsandplummetedagoodlydistance,wrigglingdownfromthecloudlesssky,towhereitflopped,bouncingdamplyatthefeetofmanyfieldwiveswhorecognizedtheiteminstantlyasitthuddedamongtherowsofSwisschardandzucchini.Thereinthedustdiditcometorestandwastherelicimmediatelyseizeduponbyhungry,devouringants.

Wailinginhorroratthewetcraterthatwasallthatremainedofhisscepterandorbs,Charliedidsquealforhisguardstoseizeher.BeseechingOdinandThor,didCharliecurse,“Yeshallburnforthis,vilebeldame!”

Butnotbeforehiswife,themotherofhisfinalbellychild,didtakehurriedleaveofthelocale.Andnotbeforeshedidcry,victoriously,“AndnomatterwhatErnstZündelsaidtheHolocaustreally,reallydidhappen!”

Intheworldwheretheburialpitswerejustbeingdugandlinedwithplasticandquicklime,Nickhadsoundedwasted.“So,Walt,you’resayingit’ssomebigrevolutionaryattackdeal?”herespondedoverhiscellphone.

Walterhadn’tbeensurewhatthebookandmendevotedtoTalbotthaddoneyet.Hewascalling,tryingtoalertsomeone.Anyone.Hewascallingtheonlytwopeoplehe’deverreallytrusted.

Overthephone,Shastahadasked,“Walter,you’resayingyoukilledsomebody?”

They’dbothaskedwhatheplannedtodonext.

Walterhadbeeninabasementwiththebodyofadeadman.Acloudofblackfliescircling.Theoldmanhe’dpromisedhewasn’tgoingtohurt.Lookingatthecorpseslicedwithtinycutsandblotchywithdriedblood,he’dsaid,“AdjustmentDayiscoming.ButIcanstillstopit.”

Theborderlandsteemedwiththefree-rangegrizzliesofCaucasiaaswellasthetigersimportedbyBlacktopia.Itwasano-man’sland,leftasinhospitableaspossible.Anaturalbufferofpoisonoussnakesandrabidcarnivoresbetweenthethreenations.Toventurewithinamountedtoadeathwish.

Theircampfireblazed,creatingacracklingcircleoforangelight.Charmandherbrotherhadrunoutofgasandroadatroughlythesamepoint.Afterwardsthey’dhikedoverrawwildernessuntiltwilightforcedthemtosetupcamp.She’dbroughteverything:tents,flint,apantryofdriedfood,awaterfilter,sleepingbags,andtoiletpaper.

AstheysatlookingintotheflamesGavynsaid,“Momisgoingtokillyou.”

Sadly,Charmretorted,“Shealreadykilledyou.”Shedidn’telaborate,butshedidn’thaveto.

Roastinghotdogsonsticks,theyspeculatedabouttheirparentsridingbicyclesouttosomesprawlingagriculturalestate.Therethey’dindenturethemselvesintimeforthelatehopsharvest.Somechieftainwouldprovideforthemuntilthewinterwheatwasreadytothresh.Theirswouldbeamerrywintersolsticequaffingmeadandmunchingyulelogsaroundabonfireofdriedhorsedung.

Panthersormaybeleopardssnarledinthenot-far-offdarkness,andthesiblingslaughedtovanquishtheirfear.

Attheedgeoftheirsmallclearingatwigsnapped.Charmliftedaflamingbranchfromthefireandmadereadytoclubtheunseenpredator.

Adiscoloredgremlinlimpedintotheflickeringlight.Stoopedandshrunken,itsmattedhairformedanirregularmassarounditswrinkledface.Itsblueskinwasalmostaperfectmatchtotheinkynightaroundit.Onitsheelswasatall,handsomeyoungmanwearingonedazzle-brightdiamondearring.Apitbullwithblack-and-whitemarkingsboundedintoview.Thedogrushedtosniffatthecampers.

Gavynmuttered,“Jamal.”

Charmsaid,“Mine!”

Themanliftedahand.“Hey.”

InunisonGavynandCharmsaid,“Hey.”Charmwavedherflamingclubinaclumsygreeting.

Jamalindicatedthehobbling,paintedimpandsaid,“ThisisBarnabas.”

Charmelbowedherbrotherandsaid,“Yours!”

Thedisturbingcreatureliftedaclawedhandandsaid,“Actually,I’mMissJosephine.”

Beforeanyonecouldbreaktheuncomfortablesilence,anothertwigsnapped.Somethingunseenrustledthroughthedryleaves.

Thesmallgrouprecoiledfromthenewsound.Withsizzlinghotdogwienersandfierymarshmallowstheybracedtodefendthemselvesagainstapackofstarvingwolves.Instead,akidsteppedoutofthewoods.“Hey,”heasked,“isthisstillGaysia?”

Elbowinghissister,Gavynsaid,“Mine.”Heasked,“Yougay?”

Thekidshookhishead.“I’mFelix.”

Charmheavedasigh.“Thisistheborderlands.”

Felixsaid,“Isn’tthistheendingofFahrenheit451?”

Itwasturningintoquitealittleparty.FelixhadbroughtMountainDew–flavoredDoritos.Jamalandthepixiecreaturesharedmintjulepswiththegroup.Nobodyaskedwhyanyoneelsehadcometothisnowhereplace.Theircombinedvoicesdroveoffthehowls.

Anothertwigsnapped.Afemalevoiceasked,“Charm?”

Charmcalledback,“Shasta?”

Ayoungmanandwomansteppedoutoftheshadows.Together,theysaid,“Hey.”

Inreturn,thegrouparoundthecampfiresaid,“Hey.”

NosoonerhadShastaintroducedNickandthey’dfoundplacesbesidethefire,buttherustleofleavesandsnappingoftwigsandthescreechofnightbirdsheraldedanewpresenceinthedark.

Peopleaskhowitended.

Walterhadbeenawell-intentioneddoofusishowitended.He’dbeenthegoodscout,theoneineverycrowd.Thealtarboy,theteacher’spet,he’dwalkedintotheSoutheastPrecinct,lookingbothways,whisperingwithonehandcuppedbesidehismouth.Pastdarko’clock,itwasahundredyearspastmidnightwheninhadwalkedWalterBaineswithhishoodup,headdown,wearingsunglassesnoless.He’dwhisper-asked,“CanItalktosomebodyincharge?”He’dtoldthedesksergeant,“Iwanttoreportacrime’ssupposedtohappen.”

Thedesksergeant,mistersergeanthadbeen,“GotsomeID?”

Thedesksergeanthadpalmedhimoffonadetectivewho’dtakenWalterintothebasementwherebythenitwasalreadytoolate.

AmuffledvoicefromsomewhereWaltercouldn’tsee,ithadsaid,“Theonlyqualitythattrulyunitesusisourdesiretobeunited.”Fishinginhispocket,he’dbroughtoutShasta’searplugandsniffedit,inhaledthesweetnessofherearwaxandbrains.Forthatlongeyes-closedhuff,she’dbeenstandingrightnexttohim.

Proofthatevenawritercandieahero’sdeath.

That,thatwastheendoftheBeforeTimesandthebeginningoftheend.

Thereleaseoftwenty-fivethousandwhitedoveswentoffwithoutahitch.Theywereblessedwithperfectweather,andtheirfiftythousandfeatheredwingscarriedthemintoabluesky.Foramomenttheyformedasoaringwhitecloud,thendoubledbacktowardthecountrysidewhilefarbelowthemacheeringhordelinedtheparaderoute.

StarvationandcrimehadleftPortlandsafetoinhabitagain.Asaresult,Charlie’slegionsweremarchingtriumphantlyintotheovergrown,desertedmetropolis.Shaggydrayhorsesharnessedinteamspulledthebattlewagons.Thecatapultswereequippedwithnuclearprojectiles.Thebatteringramstippedwithenrichedplutonium.EndlessbrigadesofarcherscarriedquiversfilledwithC-4arrowheads.Marchingbehindthesewereranksoflancerswhosespearsweredrippingwithanthrax.Andwiththeappearanceofeverydirigiblefilledwithmustardgas,thethrongscheered.Likewisewitheverycannonandsiegetowerthatpassed,theythundereduponittheirapplause.

MostconspicuousamongtheonlookerswerethehomewivesandfieldwivesofMaryhill.Foreverywomanamongthemstoodsplayfootedandwithherbellychildpushedforward.Andmorethanafewwereevennowfeelingtheonsetofbirthingpains,forCharliehadbeenabusybeeamidhissweetflowers,pollinatingmorethanafeweachday,andtodaytheycranedtheirnecksandstoodontiptoeforthechancetoseehimmarchpastand,perhaps,catchhiseye.

Andlostinthiscrowdwasanolderwoman,beyondherchildbearingyears.Araggedpeasantwomanwhocouldbutfaintlyrecallanagewhenshelaboredoverthekeysofsomethingasmagicalasadata-entryterminal.Herlonggraytressesweretiedatopherhead.Herhandsweretheraw,redhandsofawasherwoman.Sometimeagohernosehadbeenbrokenandhadcometohealflattenedsidewaysagainsthercheek.Herkneesached,butstillshepeeredintotherowsofmarchers.

TheairwasalivewithrosepetalsandconfettiandloudspeakersblaringthevoiceofTalbott,whorepeated,“CaucasiaisatwarwithGaysia!CaucasiahasalwaysbeenatwarwithGaysia!”

Theairtrembledwiththewords,“Whatmenwantisastructureforcommunion!”

Asthewasherwomansquintedandstudiedthefacesofpassersby,anotherwomanoflikelatemiddleageandappearancecametostandatherscabrouselbow.Thisnewcroneaskedofthefirst,“Doyourememberme?”

Thewasherwomangaveheraglanceandwentbacktooglingtheparade.“No,”shesaidsoftly.

Thenewwomanpersisted,“Myappearancehasnotalwaysbeenthus.”SpeakingintheprescribedlanguageofWhite-Speak,shesaid,“InBeforeTimeswasIahealer.Anurse.”

Thewasherwomancastanotherlookuponthisstranger.Hereyesscouredthewomanforaclue,beforereturningtoreviewthepassingmarchers.

Nearthem,ayoungerwomanmadeasharp,high-pitchedoutcryandslumpedtothecobblestones.Thosearoundherlookedonnervously,butnonewenttoheraid.

Withouthesitationthewasherwomanandthestrangerkneltandcommencedtoadministersuccor.Theyoungerwoman’shangerockandmuslinunderdressweresaturatedinhotbrine.Clearlyherbirthingtimehadarrived.Ifthiswerethecase,thebabewouldarriveasthefirstofCharlie’soffspring,andforthatreasonnoneoftheotherrivalwiveswouldlendcomfort.

Thereforethewasherwomancametocradlethelaboringwifeasthestrangerkneltbetweenthekneesofthewomaninpain.Astheyeasedthepassageofthechild,thekneelingwomansaid,“Resteasy,forintheBeforeTimesdidIattendmanybirthings.”Herwordscantedtowardthewasherwoman,shecontinued,“ItwasIwhotendedyourson.”

Thehardenedwasherwomanshedherflintydemeanorforaheartbeat.“Myson?MyTerrence?”

Attendingtothebirthingwork,thestrangersaid,“Howcameyournosetobesobroken?”

Thewasherwomanraisedascalyhandandtouchedabsentlyattheforgottendisfigurement.Butshemadenoanswer.

Inaworldbeforeeverythingcametobemeasuredbybumpercropsofsweetpotatoesandbabies,thisstrangewomanhadservedmankindinahospital.Inthatcapacityhadshepresentedthenow-washwoman’ssonwiththeTalbottbook.“Atyourbehest,”recountedthenurse,“Ilied.Itoldtheboythebookcamefromhisfather.HisfatherwhomIdidneverencounter.Asyoubid,IliedandtoldTerrencethathisfatherwasonguardforhim,althoughIknewthattobeamistruth.”

Bothwomenspokedistractedlyastheyworkedtofreethebellychildfromitsdam.

“You?”askedthewasherwoman,unbelieving.

Thenursetendedtotheemergentbabe.Shakingherhead,shesaid,“Isawyouwritethenotesinthebook.Whydidyouperpetuatesuchafalsehood?”

“Shit.Idon’tknow,”sworethewasherwoman,breakingadangerousprecedentbyspeakinginthecoarsemannerofBeforeTimes.“IgottheideafromBambi.”

Thenurseechoed,“Bambi?”

Deadpannedthewasherwoman,“Thatcartoondeer.”Hersaggywrinklesblushedasifwithchagrin.“Remember?ThatpartwherethestagstepsoutoftheforestandsaysBambiishissonandheir,andthestaghasalwaysbeenhissecretguardian?”

“Wait,”saidthenurse,momentarilypausingoverthehalf-bornoffspring.“Soyouinventedanoble,lovingfather?”

Withoutprotestthewasherwomancontinued,“IneededTerrencetohatemeifhewasevergoingtogrowapair.”

Thenurseheftedthebloodynewbornaloftandsmoteitsrosybuttocks.Inquiredshe,“Didnotthemotherdeerdie?”

Thebabewailedlustily.Atinyfemale,thepoorthing.

Distractedbythememory,thewasherwomansaid,“Yeah.Butwhowantstodie?IforcedTerrencetorejectme.”

Thenurseplacedthehealthy,squirminginfantinthenewmother’sarms.Forthefirsttime,theweary,sweatyyoungwomanjoinedtheconversation,asking,“AndwhatbecameofyourTerrence?”

Asifoncuetheparadeonlookersthrewupamightycheer.Heraldicbannerssnappedsmartlyinthebreezedisplayingmanycolorsofvibranthand-loomedvelvets.Thewarmairreverberatedwiththetimpaniofmassedkortholtsandbladderpipes.Themarchingfeetkeptpacebytheregularbeatoftaborsandtimbrels.ThefocusofthischeeringattentionwasChieftainCharlie.Cloakedinleatherette.Adornedinpleather,helimpedheavilyfromsidetosideassistedbyhisroyalphysician.

Thislearnedattendant,thisphysiciantotheking’shealth,wasnoneotherthanTerrence.Anduponglimpsingherson,afull-blownman,theholderofsuchaprestigiousposition,herwasherwoman’sheartleaptwithprideandaccomplishment.

Briefwashertriumph.Forasheriffofthelawwasproddinghertostepbackandclearacorridorsothatallmightgazeupontheirlimping,painedruler.

AndnotunheardbyCharliewerethegalesoffemalelaughterthatlappedathisback.Andlaughdidmanyofthethousandwivessoheartilythattheyslumpedtothepavementsandproceededtoalsoemptytheirwombsofhealthy,pinknewborns.FormanyoftheirnumbershadgiftedQueenShastawiththebrownreclusespidersthathadliquidatedCharlie’skinglyparts,andallknewthathispearl-encrustedcodpiecewasasemptyasadrum.

Asthewasherwomanandthenursesettoworkbirthingthisnewtideofinfants,thehealerasked,“Buttellme...whythelie?”

Lookingafterhersonashedisappearedintothedistance,thebeamingwasherwomanshrugged.“IwantedhimtobelieveinafatherandbyextensionaGod.”Watchinguntilhewasgone,shesaid,“Life’sjusteasierthatway.”

Thetremblingfigurecreptintotheclearing,illuminatedbythefirelight.Anemaciatedwandererwearingatailoredsuitmaderaggedbymonthsinthewild.Thestrangerlookeduponthecuratedlittlegroupofgaysandstraights,blacksandwhites,femalesandmales.

Oftheyoungstersseatedaroundthecampfire,nonedaredmoveamuscle.Atwitchwouldsendthisstrangerbolting.Thewanderer,thiswanderermettheirstareswithwide,traumatizedeyes.Hesniffedtheair,hisnostrilsflaring,apparentlytantalizedbythearomaoftheirroastingwieners.

Nick,generoustoafault,Nickrifledhispockets.Withanoutstretchedhandheofferedthetremblingwildmanapill,saying,“LookslikesomebodycoulduseaPercodan.”

Shastahushedhim.ShepluckedthewarmmeatfromtheendofJamal’ssharpenedstick.Shefeltthewiener’sdampheatinherfingersandsufferedatwingeofwifelyguilt.Inrecompense,sheknelt.Herfellows,NickandFelix,JamalandMissJo,GavynandCharm,theyhissedforhertokeepasafedistance,butshedismissedthemwithamotionofherhand.

Nodding,hiseyesclosedinbliss,Jamalwhisper-yelled,“Cool!JustlikeinSteinbeck!”

Thepictureofcompassionategrace,ShastaSanchezofferedthesweating,drippingmorseltothis,thehounded,haunted,formerpresidentofthedisunitedstates.

Itwasslowwork.Afterthemarchersandpipershadpassed...oncethecheeringthrongshadgonetheirownwaywithsquallingnewborns...formerSenatorHolbrookDanielspushedaheavytwo-wheeledgambrelalongthesilentparaderoute.

Withapushbroomhealonepileduptherosepetalsandconfetti.Usingaflat-bladedshovelhecollectedthecast-offplacentasaswellasthedriedhorsedung,andalloftheseheheapedinhisstrainingcart.

While,attractedbythescentoffreshblood,droolingwolfpacksweregatheringinthesurroundingshadows.

AndwhileWalterBaineshadbledtodeathfromagunshottotheforehead...

Inthebasementofanabandonedhouseadropofbloodhadwelledupinthescabbedwoundonthescrawnyarmofanoldman.He’dopenedhiseyes.Findinghimselfalone,he’dflexedhisstifffingers,andthemanhadbeguntotearawayattheducttapethatboundhiswristsandanklestoastoutwoodenchair.He’dneverbeenboundwellandcould’veescapedatanyjuncture.Ifescapehadeverbeenhisgoal.

HisfirstitemofbusinesswouldbetodeleteTheList.

Grousehuntingseasonhadbeenonlydaysaway.

ALSOBYCHUCKPALAHNIUK

Legacy

Bait

FightClub2

MakeSomethingUp

BeautifulYou

Doomed

InvisibleMonstersRemix

Damned

Tell-All

Pygmy

Snuff

Rant

Haunted

StrangerThanFiction

Diary

FugitivesandRefugees

Lullaby

Choke

InvisibleMonsters

Survivor

FightClub

Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentsaretheproductsoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously.Anyresemblancetoactualevents,locales,orpersons,livingordead,isentirelycoincidental.

Copyright©2018byChuckPalahniuk

Allrightsreserved

FirstEdition

Forinformationaboutpermissiontoreproduceselectionsfromthisbook,writetoPermissions,W.W.Norton&Company,Inc.,500FifthAvenue,NewYork,NY10110

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TheLibraryofCongresshascatalogedtheprintededitionasfollows:

Names:Palahniuk,Chuck,author.

Title:Adjustmentday/ChuckPalahniuk.

Description:Firstedition.|NewYork:W.W.Norton&Company,2018.

Identifiers:LCCN2017057999|ISBN9780393652598(hardcover)

Subjects:|GSAFD:Humorousfiction.|Satire.

Classification:LCCPS3566.A4554A642018|DDC813/.54—dc23

LCrecordavailableathttps://lccn.loc.gov/2017057999

W.W.Norton&Company,Inc.,500FifthAvenue,NewYork,N.Y.10110

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978-0-393-65260-4(e-book)

TableofContentsTitle

Part1

Part2

Part3

AlsobyChuckPalahniuk

Copyright