Clear Writing

Clear Writing

English Writing Workshop

Bioforsk, Ås

Spring 2009

Agro Lingua Karl Kerner - Måltrostvn 1A - 3142 Vestskogen - karl@agroling.no

Warm-up translation

Please translate to your native language:

I was told that I had been awarded the scholarship by my professor.

2009 Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

Academic writing = Foggy?

Who can find them?

There are three misstakes in this sentance.

The three levels of writing

1. Mechanics – spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc

2. Composition & style – The essence of writing?

3. Meta-level – Ideas, thoughts, logical connections

Tips for clear writing

1. Use the active voice

2. Reduce wordiness

3. Be careful with modifiers

4. Combine or split sentences

5. Avoid expletives

6. Avoid nominalization

7. Use parallel structure

1. Active and passive voice

Active – Subject performs the action: The dog bit the boy. The scientists performed experiments.

Passive – Subject is acted upon The boy was bitten by the dog. Experiments were performed by the scientists.

Active vs. passive voice

Active voice: Clear, direct and shorter!

Passive voice can be useful, e.g.: Subject is obvious, unimportant or unknown In scientific writing (objective, impersonal) For rhetorical purposes

2009 Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

2. Reduce wordiness

It’s like pruning an old apple tree, e.g.: A total of 23 samples = 23 samples The final outcome = The outcome In spite of the fact that = Although Due to the fact that = Because… and many more!

Search for: ”eliminating wordiness” or ”deadwood phrases”

3. A modifier is…

… a word or phrase that describes, clarifies, or gives more detail about a concept.

A green tree. (adjective) She kindly invited us. (adverb) Changing the oil every 3,000 miles, Fred found he

could get much better gas mileage. (phrase)

Careless use of modifiers causes unclarity.

Misplaced modifier

I was told that I had been awarded the scholarship by my professor.

= My professor told me that I had been awarded the scholarship ?

- Or -

= I was told that my professor had awarded me the scholarship?

2009 Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

Dangling modifier

After reading the original study, the article remains unconvincing.

Did the ARTICLE (subject) read the study?Probably a person did!

After reading the original study, I find the article unconvincing.

2009 Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

4. Split or combine sentences

Do you sometimes ”get lost” in a long sentence?

The interaction between Hellenistic Greece and Buddhism started when Alexander the Great conquered Asia Minor and Central Asia in 334 BCE, crossing the Indus and Jhelum rivers, and going as far as the Beas, thus establishing direct contact with India, the birthplace of Buddhism.

Often, splitting a long sentence into several helps!

Split or combine sentences

The interaction between Hellenistic Greece and Buddhism started when Alexander the Great conquered Asia Minor and Central Asia in 334 BC. In crossing the Indus and Jhelum rivers, and going as far as the Beas, Alexander thus established direct contact with India, the birthplace of Buddhism.

Split or combine sentences

Sometimes, combining sentences can shorten and simplify a passage:

The supposed crash of a UFO in Roswell, NM aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. This crash is rumored to have occurred in 1947. (24 words)

The supposed 1947 crash of a UFO in Roswell, NM aroused interest in extraterrestrial life. (16 words)

2009 Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

5. Expletive constructions (Norwegians beware!)

It is / There is / There are

There are twenty-five students who have already expressed a desire to attend …

Twenty-five students have already expressed a desire to attend …

It is inevitable that oil prices will rise.Oil prices will inevitably rise

6. Avoid ’nominalization’ (substantivsjuke)

The current focus of Bioforsk-Plantehelse is disease prevention.

Bioforsk-Plantehelse currently focuses on disease prevention.

“If you sense something soft and mushy in your writing, check for a verb that’s been nouned.”– Patricia O’Conner

7. Parallel structure

What’s wrong here?

The candidate's goals include winning the election, a national health program, and the educational system.

2009 Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

Parallel structure

The candidate's goals include winning the election, enacting a national health program, and improving the educational system.

2009 Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

Parallel structure - Lists

Incorrect: Prepared weekly field payroll Material purchasing, expediting, and returning Recording OSHA regulated documentation Change orders Maintained hard copies of field documentation

Correct: Prepared weekly field payroll Handled material purchasing, expediting, and returning Recorded OSHA regulated documentation Processed change orders Maintained hard copies of field documentation

2009 Agro Lingua - Karl Kerner

Paramedic method

Circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, onto, into) Draw a box around the "is" verb forms Ask, "Where's the action?" Change the "action" into a simple verb Move the doer into the subject (Who's kicking

whom) Eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups Eliminate any redundancies.