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7/29/2019 Foreman Nietzsche
1/42
/ubueditions2001
Rich ar d For eman
Bad Boy
Niet zsch e
7/29/2019 Foreman Nietzsche
2/42
Bad Boy Nietzsche
By Richard Foreman
Permission kindly granted by the On tological H ysterical Theater
Special th anks to C harles Bernstein
2001 /ubu ed itions
/ubueditions
www.ubu.com
contact: slash_ubu@ubu.com/ubu editions series editor: Brian Kim Stefans
7/29/2019 Foreman Nietzsche
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BAD BOY N IETZSCH E
By Rich ar d For eman
Rehear sal scr ipt
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(Nietzsche on a ch air. Ch ild enters)
NIETZSCHE:
Guess.
THE CH ILD:
You lo ok very differen t fro m the way I
imagined you, Mr. Nietzsche.
NIETZSCHE:
Guess
THE CHILD:
I HAVE read bits and pieces of thin gs youwrite, Mr.Nietzscheso I imagin ed you
big and strong, with eyes on fire.
(Pause)
Is it possible maybe you arent the real
Mr. Nietzsche?
NIETZSCHE:
Guess.
THE CH ILD:
Lets make a test. Suppose I climb up
toward that little horse hanging from the
ceiling, and start beating it and beating itand beating it would you protect that
poor little horse, Mr. Nietzsche?
NIETZSCHE:
Guess!
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
No g uesses.
NIETZSCHE:
Guess.
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
No guesses for me, thank you
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NIETZSCHE:Right this minute, guess what Im experi-
encing.
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
I really dont want to know about th is, Mr.
Nietzsche.
NIETZSCHE:
Stage fright.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Jesus Christ
Stage fright!
NIETZSCHE:
Whats that beautiful music?
Oh - Im a wonderful da ncer.
Oh - Im a wond erful dancer.
TH E DANGERO US MAN:
Oh , I bet this is gonn a be special.
NIETZSCHE:
Oh no
Lets face it. Nobody likes being chained
to the wall by somebody elses imagina-
tion.
Please! Wipe me out!
TH E DANGERO US MAN:
Id do it if I could, Mr. Nietzsche.
NIETZSCHE:
You can do it. I want things said to me
that will be very disturbing not to o ther
people of course, but to myself in particu-
lar.
I want th ings said to me, that will cut into
me like a knife. In t hat hope, I want every-
bodys collabora tion
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THE CHILD:
Why should we collaborate with you, Mr.
Nietzsche? A: We do not trust you, and B:
we do not like you
NIETZSCHE:
Really? You d on t like me?
Tell me why you d on t like me
THE CH ILD:
Well, first of a ll, we don t know you well
enough to have definite opinions
NIETZSCHE:
OK, dont try to know me better than you
know me right th is minute. O K?
Just sustain this same level of ho stility for
no particular reason because, I need to
experience this kind of pressure.
Rememb er Ill p ay very well.
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Let me think about this
(exit)
THE C H ILD: (in with cake and 1 cand le)Hey. Is your mind really on fire, Mr.
Nietzsche?
Is this candle for you? Do you like can-
dles?
NIETZSCHE:
In fact, what I like is cake.
THE CHILD:
OK. The ca kes for you too.
NIETZSCHE:
I dont deserve it, I suppose
THE C HILD:
Right
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NIETZSCHE:
Right. Look at me carefully. Im an every-
da y person in fact.
THE C HILD:
Not really. I t hink your mind is on fire,
Mr. Nietzsche
NIETZSCHE:
No. There is no fire inside me
THE CH ILD:
Then how do you manage to capture myattention , Mr. Nietasche?
NIETZSCHE:
Yes. Yes? . . . Yes! I accept tha t
THE CHILD:
Then how do you manage to capture my
attention , Mr. Nietasche?
NIETZSCHE:
Please, be very careful.
THE C HILD:Why should I be carefu l, Mr. Nietzsche?
NIETZSCHE:
It could be that I am dangerous in my pas-
sivity
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
See? Your passivity is somethin g ver y
intense after all, Mr. Nietzsche
NIETZSCHE:
Perhaps.
THE CHILD:
No Maybe! That s what the word per-
haps really means, really it does. Am I
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right?
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
You re r ight.
THE CHILD:
But in fact, I want nothing more to do
with you, Mr. Nietzsche.
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Shes right, of course.
NIETZSCHE:
Cast back upon my own resources.
THE CH ILD:
Knock knock! Mr. Nietzsche.
NIETZSCHE:
Knock knock?
Who s talking t o me?
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
H ey- Nobo dy said n oth ing
NIETZSCHE:
No, somebody who is outsideis trying to get inside
(Big heads appear)
My dear friends.
After you d iscover me, you find me. The
difficulty is now to lose me, Friedrich
Nietzsche. Careful.
THE DANGEROUS MAN: (indicates
woman above, in the mountains,
stripped to th e waist. Wearing a head -
dress)
Who is that woman up there?
NIETZSCHE:
Well, th is is a person who c laim s, she is
unable to live without me.
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TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
You?
NIETZSCHE:
This is what she secretly tells me.
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
You?
NIETZSCHE:
Not that I believe this is true.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:Really?
NIETZSCHE:
Do I believe this is true?
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Well? Do you b elieve it?
NIETZSCHE:
Yes.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Yes is it?Then whatever happens, youll never
move from this spot.
NIETZSCHE:
. . .Perhaps perhaps not. P erhaps, per-
haps not
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
I dont understand your hesitation.
NIETZSCHE:
No. There is no hesitation.
(Pause)
This is para dise, after all
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
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This doesnt look like Paradise, does itnow?
NIETZSCHE:
Wrong.
Feet, placed firmly on the floor
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Pick up your feet when you walk.
NIETZSCHE:
This is Paradise
(B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Paradise)The oh so poignant torso, twisting slightly
to suggest unimagina ble d irections.
(B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
Paradise)
A certain dizziness entering history by
accident,.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
I d ont get it, obviously
NIETZSCHE:
Here I am, doing my thing in Paradise.
I write on paper, write on wallwith foolish heart a foolish scrawl.
You say the hand s of fools
deface the table and the wall
erase it all! Erase it!
I try to help th e best I can
I wield a sponge, as you recall
but when the cleaning up is done
lets see this super sage emit
upon the walls, sagacious shit!
(on floor, a s if beat-
en down. )
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Jesus Christ.
I heard one bad boy, I.E. Bad Boy
Nietzsche, using the word Pa radise
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but th is does not look like Parad ise the
way I imagined it.
NIETZSCHE:
Wrong.
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
What s wrong ab out it.
NIETZSCHE:
Here I am . Doing my thing, in a place that
looks very much like Pa rad ise.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
If Mr. Nietzsche says so, then I g uess this is
really Para dise.
NIETZSCHE:
Here is a list of potent items.
A cro wn
THE CHILD: (Crown on horse)Oh yes, heres a really nice crown
NIETZSCHE:
A dru m
THE CHILD:
Here comes a big drum
NIETZSCHE:
Hand
THE CHILD:
But th ere are so man y hand s available, Mr.Nietzsche. How can we choose just one?
NIETZSCHE:
Blindfold! Blindfold!
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TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Under the circumstances, a blindfold
might be appropriate
NIETZSCHE:
Knife.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
OK.
NIETZSCHE:
Is a chair appro priate.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Cha ir. Very appropriate
THE CHILD:
Maybe you favor physical o bjects over peo -
ple, Mr. Nietzsche.
NIETZSCHE:
Maybe tha t hurts people, but that s OK.
Because I do no t favor people. No not
people but whats inside people. Again
and again. Shaking things to their very
foundations. My iron fist. My feet like fire.My knife like a terrible kiss. Stabbing one-
self hands covered with blood
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Beautiful white wings. Red blood falling
from the eyes.
NIETZSCHE:
That which is oppressive to me, all that I
hurl into the depths. Once and for all.
THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Wings.
NIETZSCHE:
Yes! Wings! The d ivine ar t is flying to
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great heights from which one throws whatis oppressive into the depths of the ocean!
Shipwreck!
NIETZSCHE:
I throw myself into that ocean
Shipwreck!
I do th row myself into th at terrible ocean!
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Not much of a da ncer, are you Mr.
Nietzsche?
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:A better dancer than a singer maybe.
THE CHILD:
OK, everybody start da ncing! And
again! And again!
(Puppet appears, boat, action,
etc)
(VOICE: Shipwreck, shipwreck, ship-
wreckRemember)
THE CHILD:
He thought he saw a giant boatBeneath a silver moon
He looked again and saw it was
H is lonely living ro om
He thought he saw the sailors
Throwing brea dcrumbs toward the sea
He looked aga in and saw
A giant fish is eating me!
Help help help
NIETZSCHE:
Ow! A splinter, my finger....
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
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Hey
Look what I found.
This is for you, Mr. Nietzsche.
OK. Let me correct myself. Mr. Ba d B oy
Nietzsche
NIETZSCHE:
Whats in the briefcase.
TH E DANGERO US MAN:
Jesus Christ I dont know.
NIETZSCHE:
Open it.
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Oh come on now Are you afraid to
open it?
NIETZSCHE:
Fools have known all along
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
What fools?
NIETZSCH E: (pa use)
The on e thin g necessary
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Yes?
NIETZSCHE: (Pause)
Is to keep pen in motion over the
paper.
The pen scribbles? I say to hell withthat.
Well, to hell with th at . And I say No t o
belief systems of a ll kind s
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Don t d o tha t, Mr. Nietzsche
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NIETZSCHE:
With thick strokes my writing flows so full
and broad.
So what if its illegible? Ow!
Who reads the stuff I write?
I hurt my shoulder
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
I think Mr. Nietzsche ha d a n a ccident
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Theres not much we can d o abo ut acci-dents. They happen
THE C HILD:
We could get m edica l help
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
Is your shoulder really that bad? Are you a
Bad Bad B oy?
NIETZSCHE:
It still hurts, but not so much. I don t
think its broken.
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Oh its not broken.
NIETZSCHE:
But, I hurt my hand
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
Oh? Your H AND?
NIETZSCHE:
My writing h and .
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Then your scribbling day are over, right?
THE CH ILD:
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Wha ts wron g, Mr. Nietzsche?
NIETZSCHE:
Once upon a time I tried writing a letter
to a beloved friend, using my left ha nd,
but th e letter was unread able, of course
not b ecause of its content, which came
from my heartbut using my left hand I
could only partially control th e format ion
of letter after letter after letter!
Ow! I h urt my left hand!
NIETZSCHE:
I better use my right ha nd to cut someslices from this holy bread which enters
my life like an unexpected guest.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Your righ t ha nd ? You mea n your writing
han d, Mr. Nietzsche?
NIETZSCHE:
Have some slices of this holy bread which
trembles in expectation .
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
That looks like normal bread to me, Mr.Nietzsche
NIETZSCHE:
There are valuable jewels in this bread.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
What d id you say?
NIETZSCHE:
This bread is very unusual. You eat it
you grow bigger. Your body becomes
strong and your head double
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
Is that rea lly desirable? Such a big head ?
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NIETZSCHE:There are jewels, valuable jewels in this
holy bread
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
I hear d h im say something unusual.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
So did we all
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
H e said there are Jews in this bread.
NIETZSCHE:No, no, you misunderstand m e. There are
jewels, valuable jewels in th is bread .
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
I would not eat this bread if there were
Jews in this bread.
(Pause)
You un derstand why I say that ? Jews I d o
not eat Jews.
You bet ter ma ke me believe there are n o
Jews in this bread, because, my dear Fritz,
if there are Jews in th is bread , then I will
put no t even th e tiniest morsel of thisbread in my mouth. But on the oth er
hand if I am certain there are no Jews
in this bread, then I will open my mouth,
and extend my tongue in the manner I
am abo ut to demonstrate, and allow a few
tiny crumbs of bread on the tip of my
extended tongue.
NIETZSCHE:
I do no t move
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
If you do nt move, youre in t rouble, Mr.
Nietzsche.
NIETZSCHE:
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I hope t o prove to you, however, that I donot bake Jews in this bread. So please.
Feed me some of my own bread .
NIETZSCHE:
I would n ever eat b read baked with Jews
inside. Because to do so, would be to h urt,
terrib ly. . .
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Lets find o ut.
NIETZSCHE:
what I ha ve in my stoma ch now noJews in th ere
only jewels baked in my bread, now in
my stoma ch.
Can you possibly understand how painful
to me to have sharp jewels inside ones
stomach?
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
I am imagining that
NIETZSCHE:
You tell me wha t it feels like in the ima gi-nation
THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN:
It would be very painful
NIETZSCHE:
Yes! It is!
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Like broken g lass
NIETZSCHE:
Yes! It is!
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Or long splinters, driven into t he ha nds ,
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or into the feet.Or eyes wide open
NIETZSCHE:
Please stop
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
Staring straight into th e sun, which is
probably the most painful thing I can
think of splinters going into my eyes!
(VOICE)
(3)Eyes Eyes eyes
NIETZSCHE:
Where is my Chin ese horse?
Where is my Chin ese horse?
THE DANGEROUS MAN: (overlapping)
What the h ell are you talking abo ut?
I don t und erstand you, Mr. Nietzsche
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
H ere is a voice we da re not allow to speakdirectly because the madness of this voice
is infectious, and if one hears this voice
speaking directly for itself, one is intoxi-
cated by such speaking,
one leaps from high windo ws, one
plunges into wide rivers from the power
of whose turbulence no escape seems
possible.
TH E CHI LD: (singing, prancing)
I know where tha t voice is coming from
I know where this voice is coming from
VOIC E: (as horse on, oth ers run off, N
hides head, th en embra ces horse)
H ere is a ma n Here is a man , here is a
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man who simply cann ot opt out of h is ownself-destructive motives who listens to
himself on ly.
NIETZSCH E: (a s ho rse is beat en. )
Where is my Chinese H orse?
Where is my Chinese H orse?
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
Hard to believe, Frederick Nietzsche,
philosopher of power the missing
years of sweet, gentle, Bad Boy
Nietzsche years in the desert, in the
lonely mounta ins of China unknownyears in lonely rooms in Chinese rooming
ho uses visited in secret by th e
Ghosts of wise men seeking power
ghosts of ancient Ch ina.
THE CH ILD:
Where is my Chin ese horse?
NIETZSCHE:
This is my Chin ese Ho rse.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Chinese or no Chinese,That doesnt mean shit to m e
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
I can relate to th is, please I too am ban-
ished to some nether region, where the
best I can do is to try understand ing the
godd amn rules on th is particular shit
house planet
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Sorry about this, Mr. Nietzsche.
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
Im never sorry!
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
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spiritual self-lacera tion is not to mytaste.
NIETZSCHE:
Nobody sees my Chinese Horse.
Nobody sees my Chinese Horse.
Nobody sees my Chinese Horse.
THE CHILD:
Is it not true that to pursue and sing
what ever one truly desires inside each
mom ent as it passes this is to p ursue
incoherence in fact.
THE DANGEROUS MAN: (overlapping)
Chinese whores and h orses! C hinese hors-
es and who res!
S & THE DANGEROUS MAN:
True! True ! True! True!
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
Mr. Nietzsche is a man who sees the dark-
ness, where other people think there is a
light still shinin g
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:That doesnt mean shit to this tough
Chinaman!
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Shit heads of the en tire world. Do you
really believe th at Mr. Nietzsche s purpose
here on earth is to bring light into places
where up till now there h as been dar k-
ness?
NIETZSCHE: (sings)
Nobody sees my Chinese horse
THE C H ILD: (with whip)
You ve never even been to C hina , you bad
bad bad boy
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NIETZSCHE:
whip me, sir, and you whip my horse.
Whip my horse, sir and I, also, suffer
tho se same blows. Rememb er Ill pay
you very well.
TH E CH ILD: ( sings)
Jews in my bread.... Ow!
NIETZSCHE:
Nobody sees my Chinese horse!
THE CHILD:... I have millions of Jews in my bread.
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
This does not look like China, you crazy
man!
NIETZSCHE:
I am on m y way...
I am on m y way...
(VOIC E)(B ig activity, th rowing props))
Here is a man
Here is a man
Remember
NIETZSCHE:
What do I need. I meanNEED
most of all
THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN: (over)
Say Need, Mr. Nietzsche. Say What do I
Neeeeeeed!
NIETZSCHE:
I need you looking at me.
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
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I NEED it too, Mr. Nietzsche you look-ing at me. Are you looking at me?
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
Why is everybod y looking a t m e.
THE C HILD:
Nobodys looking at you
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
How the hell do I know what kind of
movements to make next?
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:Stage fright!
ALL:
Stage fright! Stage fright!
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
Thought has now come, to far away
China.
Thought is now upside down,
on th e other side of the world,
something wiped out
immense,
where death rules things
NIETZSCHE:
This does not m ean th at d eath rules
things
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Death? I better look that up in my
Chinese dictionary, but in the mean time,
lets have drinks! Drinks for everybody
THE CH ILD:
Drinks on a n empty stoma ch?
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Why the h ell not.
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THE CHILD: wed stagger around being drunk
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
That sounds OK to me
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
There is bread , to calm such terrib le
stomachs
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Where the h ell did that terrible bread
come from?
NIETZSCHE:
Do not b e afraid! Do no t be afraid! I will
protect this holy bread from wind, rain,
thunder and lightening
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Careful, shithead Nietzsche. There are
jewels in tha t brea d!
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
If there are really jewels in that holy
bread, which I dont think very likely
NIETZSCHE:
There a re jewels in this holy brea d
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
that would make it god d amn d anger-
ous to eat that holy bread
THE CHILD:
Oh how dangerous could bread be?
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
Dangerous enough that we could die from
this holy bread.
If we ate th is holy bread, we could all die.
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
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Since we are all going to die from thisbread or maybe not from this bread it
doesnt matter what happens to us.
Therefo re, we should kill people
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Wha t peo ple should we kill
THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN: (Pause)
People we don t like. People who are
already dead
THE CHILD:
That means lots of famous people
TH E D ANGERO U S MAN:
This is all very interestin g.
NIETZSCHE:
Rememb er Ill p ay you very well.
TH E DANGEROUS MAN:(h its Nietzsche
with golf club)
Jesus Ch rist maybe you should work out
a little, Mr. Nietzsche. I don t thin k you
look sufficiently muscular.
THE CHILD:
Oh no He d oesnt look even a little bit
muscular.
NIETZSCHE:
Im n ot supposed to be muscular
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
Of course wed be a little worried if you
got TOO muscular
U p on your feet, Mr. Nietzsche! C ome on
now
NIETZSCHE:
I can do th at b y myself.
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TH E DANGERO U S MAN:Turn a roun d. Loo k me in the eye
NIETZSCHE:
Im already doing that
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
I want you to hold our your arms. Good. I
want you to whisper loud eno ugh so that
we can a ll hear you whispering H ello!
Am I a prophet flying over the countryside
looking into th e future?
NIETZSCHE:Yes, I a m.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Well, yes I am, yes I am...
(hits Nietzsche again and again)
NIETZSCHE:
Do you very much like playing golf?
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
As a matter of fact, I do like playing golf.
NIETZSCHE:Really?
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
I like it.
NIETZSCHE:
Why?
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
No reason.
But you know how much I like golf.
NIETZSCHE:
No, I didnt know that.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
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Weve been fr iends for ten years
NIETZSCHE:
Ten long years.
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Ten wond erful year s.
NIETZSCHE:
Ten long years.
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
After ten years of friendship, you should
know golf is one of my favorite hobbies.
NIETZSCHE:
You kno w what?. I ve seen you going off t o
play golf so often , Ive concluded its a
hobby
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Right. I like it
NIETZSCHE:
I believe you.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
I like it.
NIETZSCHE:
You like it because you re goo d a t it
THE CHILD:
H e hopes to get better
And better.
And better and better and better!
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Excuse me, Mr. Nietzsche, bu t wasnt
there supposed to be mon ey in th is for
the rest of us?
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NIETZSCHE:A promise is a pro mise.
THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Oo oh. The G ods provide.
Where does all this wonderful money
come from, Mr. Nietzsche?
NIETZSCHE:
I dont want to know such things
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Right. Some people get nervous about
money
NIETZSCHE:
How did it come to be that there is money
rather than n o money.
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Thank goodness.
NIETZSCHE:
Ho w did the world itself decide to invent
and spew forth mon ey.
Take off your shoes, please.
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
You d on t mean take off our shoes?
NIETZSCHE:
I promised lots of money. Im going to
stuff ten dollar bills inside every-
bodys shoes.
THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Thats crazy
NIETZSCHE:
Yes Im goin g to squ eeze ten do llars
inside this shoe, and another
ten do llars, and lots and lots of
crumpled up ten d ollar bills
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TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
This is crazy
NIETZSCHE:
OK. With ten dollar bills stuffed inside
everybod ys sho es, are th ose
shoes a little bit uncomfort -
able maybe?
THE CH ILD:
My shoe is very uncomfortable
NIETZSCHE:Yes! But ha ving th ose extra ten d ollars
makes. being un comforta ble
O.K.
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Ten d ollars no t a b ig sum, Mr. Nietzsche
NIETZSCHE:
Ten d olla rs? -Well, ten do llar s is ten
dollars my friend
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
OK. We have ten dollars in our shoes.Now what.
NIETZSCHE: (Indicates tank)
OK. Why don t all three of you
just squeeze inside that ugly
thing
THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN:
That ugly thing?
NIETZSCHE:
Squeeze inside please!
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Do you imagine us having sex inside that
thing, Mr. Nietzsche
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NIETZSCHE:
No. I never said t hat
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Guess what, Mr. Nietzsche. Imagine it, and
it might happen
THE C H ILD: (a s all three enter)
Ob viously its going to happen happen
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Obviously.
NIETZSCHE:
I do not love my neighbor near/ but wish
he, or she were high up and far
away. /How else could he, o r
she, become my guiding star?
THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN:
All don e in here, Mr. Nietzsche
NIETZSCHE:
What happened to th e ten d ollars, please?
THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN:Do n t worr y, its still in our sho es.
NIETZSCHE:
OK. Take out the money, and now see if
the mon ey STINKS!
THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN: (Pause)
You ve been a very bad boy, Mr.
Nietzsche
NIETZSCHE:
Yes I have Tell me how Ive been bad
THE DANGEROUS MAN: (indicate
Woman )
You h ad sex with th is lad y, I believe
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NIETZSCHE:
No, tha ts not possible.
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
A certa in species of g irlfriend ; a possible
wife; an everlasting bun dle of look but
dont touch.
NIETZSCHE:
I have not done this terrible thing.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
But you ha ve
NIETZSCHE:
In m y dreams only.
TH E CH ILD : (a s Woma n kisses Niezsche)
We all love Ch inese ba bies.
NIETZSCHE: (pushing Woman away)
No! In my dreams I have.
So punish me for such terrible dreams
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN: (g ives sword )OK, Mr.Nietzsche. P unishment can some-
times be handed out on demand . But
other times
a big surprise.
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN (U nd ressing)
Wha ts wron g, Mr Nietzsche?
NIETZSCHE: (Pause, as others undress)
Lest her happiness oppress us
cloak yourself in devilish tresses
Devilish wit and devilish dresses,
All in vain !
(sword to h is own neck))
H er eyes express
her an gelic
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saintliness.
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Wha ts wron g, Mr. Nietzsche
THE CH ILD:
Wha ts wron g Mr Nietzsche?
NIETZSCH E: (a s orgy begins)
This too shall pass
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
This will not pass, buddy.
NIETZSCHE:
This will pass.
This will not pass.
Falls on bench)
I have this appendage on the front of my
body that swells up sometimes. Its called
my penis, maybe
A grea t variety of species on this plan et
have a similar system that swells up. But
why is this necessary? Why? Why?
THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN:Maybe the grid on which you chart your
experience is never your exper ience, Mr.
Nietzsche.
NIETZSCHE:
Oh, Why is she clever now, and so refined?
On her account a man s now out of his
mind.
His head was good before he took this
whirl
He lost his head to the a foresaid girl!
(Woman captures him in
a white sheet)
I have this appendage on the front of
my bo dyit swells up sometimes
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TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
Make some babies, Mr. Nietzsche
NIETZSCHE:
Babies? No- !!.
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Millions and millions of babies making
millions and millions of thoughts. Millions
of tho ughts until that one d ay comes,
when every possible thought has finally
been th ought, Mr. Nietsche!
NIETZSCHE:
Is that possible?
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
Butit takes a lot of bab ies until all possi-
ble thoughts,can fina lly be though t. So
thenthis whole rotten , beautiful planet
can just STOP , Mr. Nietzsche.
Not death maybe,
but something even mo re interesting.
NIETZSCHE:
Oh my Go d. Shipwreck! Shipwreck!
THE CHILD:
Shipwreck! Shipwreck!
THE CHILD:
Your b oa t is read y, Mr. Nietzsche. Your
boat is now ready, Mr. Nietzsche!
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Whats wrong?
NIETZSCHE:
Theres no b oat.
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THE DANGEROUS MAN:I know theres no bo at.
NIETZSCHE:
Theres no bo at. Nobo dy climbs on b oard
because theres no bo at
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
You a lread y said tha t, Mr. Nietzsche.
NIETZSCHE:
I said that because I want things said that
will cut into m e like a knife. I want that
kind of p ressure
(Bell)
VOIC:
Your boa t is now r ead y for d elivery, Mr
Nietzche.
NIETZSCHE:
Was I ill? Have I got well?
Oh my memory is rotten
But th ose are well who h ave forgotten!
(whip him)
There is no boat!
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
Im sorry to tell you, My Nietzsche. You
hurt people. Just like everybody else.
NIETZSCHE:
That was never my intention
THE CHILD:
Everybody h urts everybod y, Mr. Nietzsche.
NIETZCHE: (att acked)
Oww!
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
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See what I mean, Mr Nietzsche? You reallyhurt people
THE CH ILD:
Nobody reads the stuff you write, Mr.
Nietzsche.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Nobody wants your babies, Mr. Nietzsche.
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Nobody offers you hugs and kisses.
NIETZSCHE:OK. To bring a little bit of happiness to
somebod y who deserves, of course, no
real happiness Ill just lock myself
forever inside this ugly thing and Ill
never come out .
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
You re still no t in side it, Mr. Nietzsche.
NIETZSCHE:
Im never coming out, believe me?
TH E DANGERO US MAN:Nobody can live forever inside that thing.
NIETZSCHE:
Im n ever coming out.
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
You won t co me out?
NIETZSCHE:
Im n ever coming out!
THE C HILD:
Ok. If youre never c coming out, th en we
can b eat th e shit out of this poor little
horse as much as we like, and nobo dys
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going to stop us. Right Mr. Nietzsche?Right? Right?
(Beat h orse, tank
advances, scream. Nietzsche
dances)
THE CHILD:
You lied to u s, Mr. Nietzsche. You said you
were never coming out.
NIETZSCHE:
Yes, I said tha t. B ut h ow is that possible?
Beca useI n ever lie.
THE END
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TH E D ANGERO U S MAN: (g ives sword )
OK, Mr. Nietzsche, punishment ca n some -
times be handed out on demand but
other times a big surprise.
NIETZSCHE: (Pause, as others undress)
Lest her happiness oppress us
cloak yourself in devilish tresses
Devilish wit and devilish dresses,
All in vain! H er eyes express
her angelic saintliness.
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:Wha ts wron g, Mr. Nietzsche
THE CHILD:
Wha ts wron g Mr Nietzsche?
NIETZSCH E: (a s orgy begins)
This too shall pass
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
This will not pass, buddy.
NIETZSCHE:
This will pass.(takes off pant s)
I have this appendage on the front of my
body that swells up sometimes. Its called
my penis, maybe. A grea t variety of species
on this planet have a similar system that
swells up. But why is this necessary? Why?
Why?
TH E B EAU TIFUL WOMAN:
Maybe the grid on which you char t your
experience is never your experience, Mr.
Nietzsche.
NIETZSCHE:
Oh, Why is she clever now, and so refined?
On her account a man s now out of his
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mind.His head was good before he took this
whirl
He lost his head to the a foresaid girl!
(J captures him in white sheet)
I have this appendage on the front of
my bo dyit swells up sometimes
THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Make some ba bies, Mr. Nietzsche
NIETZSCHE:
No- !!.
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Millions and millions of babies making
millions of t hough ts. Millions of tho ughts
until every possible thought has finally
been th ought, Mr. Nietsche!
NIETZSCHE:
Is tha t rea lly possible?
Butit takes a lot of babies unt il all possi-
ble, can finally be thought. So thenthe
whole plan et can just STOP , Mr.
Nietzsche.
Not death maybe,
but something even m ore interesting.
NIETZSCHE:
Oh my G od. Shipwreck! Shipwreck!
THE CH ILD:
Shipwreck! Shipwreck!
THE CH ILD:
Your b oa t is read y, Mr. Nietzsche. Your
boat is now ready, Mr. Nietzsche!
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
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Whats wrong?
NIETZSCHE:
Theres no boat.
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
I know theres no boa t.
NIETZSCHE:
Theres no bo at. Nobod y climbs on boa rd
because theres no boa t
TH E DANGERO U S MAN:
You a lread y said tha t, Mr. Nietzsche.
NIETZSCHE:
I said that because I want things said tha t
will cut into me like a knife. I want that
kind of pressure
(Bell)
VOICE:
Your boa t is now read y for d elivery, Mr
Nietzche.
NIETZSCHE:Was I ill? Have I got well?
Oh my memory is rotten
But th ose are well who h ave forgotten !
(whip)
There is no boat!
(run around)
(fall)
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Im sorry to tell you, My Nietzsche. You
hurt people.
TH E D ANGERO US MAN:
Well, I m sorry to tell you, Mr. Nietzsche.
You h urt p eople.
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NIETZSCHE:That was never my intention
Oww Oww
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
See what I mean? You really hurt people
Mr. Nietzsche.
THE CHILD:
Nobody reads the stuff you write, Mr.
Nietzsche.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Nobody wants your babies, Mr. Nietzsche.
TH E B EAUTIFUL WOMAN:
Nobo dy offers you hu gs and kisses.
NIETZSCHE:
OK. To bring a little bit of happiness to
somebody who deserves no real happiness
of course Ill just lock myself forev-
er inside this ugly thing and Ill never
come out.
TH E DANGERO US MAN:
You re still not inside it, Mr. Nietzsche.
NIETZSCHE:
Im never coming out, believe me?
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
Nobody can live forever inside that thing.
NIETZSCHE:
Im n ever coming out.
TH E D ANG EROU S MAN:
You won t co me out?
NIETZSCHE:
Im n ever coming out!
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NIETZSCHE:Im n ever coming out!
THE CH ILD:
Ok. If youre never c coming out, t hen we
can b eat the shit out of this poor little
horse as much as we like, and nobo dys
going to stop us. Right Mr. Nietzsche?
Right? Right?
(Bea t hor se, tank ad vances,
scream. Nietzsche dances)
THE CHILD:You lied to u s, Mr. Nietzsche. You said you
were never coming out.
NIETZSCHE:
Yes, I said t ha t. But how is tha t possible?
BecauseI n ever lie.
THE END
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