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8/3/2019 New Cads Report Oct 2011_3
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CADS Report publishes private, secret, and classified nonsense about the state of the UK from anonymous news sources.
CADS REPORTOctober 2011 Issue No: Five http://cads-amsterdam.org/
F O R S A L E .O N E O W N E R :
B E D O U I N T E N T
B E L I E V E D T O B E
B I R T H P L A C E O F
F A M O U S L I B Y A N M A D D O G
non compos mentis
D E A D D E PO T
Tony Blair is George Very - Smiley
Coming to a cinema near you
TINKER TAILOR SOL DIER DEA D DE SPO T
Former spy George Smiley is called out of retirement for one last top -
secret mission. His task? To turn a blind eye to t he d eat h o
f re bel Li byan
d espot Col Gad d afi. Will he be a ble to unco ver a bsolutely no trut hs at
all In his effort to keep t he ageing d espot ali ve a
nd on t he t hrone? A
super b rend ition of t he classic no vel, w hic h perfe
ctly e vokes t he gru b by
atmosp here of t he mid 2000s and t he insane paranoia at t he top of t h
e
La bour go vernment.
COMING TO A CINEMA NEAR YOU
George Very-Smiley
is played by Tony Blair.Tinker by Alistair Campbell.
The Sailor is Peter Mandelson.
The Soldier is Gordon Brown.
Col Gaddafi is the dead mad dog.
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CADS Report publishes private, secret, and classified nonsense about the state of the UK from anonymous news sources.
The pair met each other on the beach
but shortly after Mr Betts was wounded by
heavy machine gun fire and airlifted back to
Britain. He never saw his fellow soldier and
friend again.
During a trip to Arromanches D-Day
Museum in northern France this summer
he spotted Mr Baker's signature directly
above his in a book of remembrance.
He quickly made enquiries and
discovered the signature had been made just
20 minutes earlier - and Mr Baker was
about to depart on a coach.
M r B e t t s , o f W e l l e s b o u r n e ,
Warkwickshire, dashed out to the car park
and had an emotional reunion with his
former comrade.
ENGLAND 0 – FRENCH 1
Disaster has struck in both cricket and
rugby. First, the dastardly French showed
their true colours. After limping hopelessly
through the first round of pool matches,
they turned into veritable tigers to send flat
footed England packing in the quarter finals
of the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand.
This will have immediate negative
impact on the Dutch Horeca trade, and
rumours abound that the English pubs in
Leiden and The Hague will no longer open
early on Saturday mornings for the
remainder of the tournament. France will
now face New Zealand in the final. GO
NEW ZEALAND!!!
And as if that was not enough, after
losing disastrously at test cricket, India has
now found its form back on home turf, and
sent England packing in the second match
of the one day series in Mohali. As I write,
India are 89/1 in the last match, and need
210 more runs to win the series. By the
time you read this, we will know the
outcome… GO ENGLAND!!!
England loseone-dayseries in
India afterthriller in
MohaliEngland lost the
one-day series inIndia after the
home side took
an unassailable3-0 lead with a
tense, five-wicket
win in Mohali.
D-Day veterans whofought side-by-side
on beaches of Normandy reunited
after chancemeeting on same
beach 67 years later
TWO TWO D-DAY COMRADES AND WAR HEROES BILL BETTS, 88, AND CLIFFORD BAKER, 98,
WERE REUNITED BY CHANCE WHEN THEY RETURNED TO THE NORMANDY BEACHES AS
TOURISTS 67 YEARS LATER - ON THE SAME DAY.
WICKET-LEAKS
Young men: Left, Bill Betts pictured aged 19 and right
Clifford Baker pictured in Hanover, Germany, in his youth
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CADS Report publishes private, secret, and classified nonsense about the state of the UK from anonymous news sources.
CHAIRMAN’S CORNER OCTOBER 2011
CHAIRMAN’S CORNER
Our September lunch was the first of the autumn
season, and we enjoyed a pleasant lunch back in our usual
surroundings of the terrace room. Our speaker Millicent
Odongo gave us an interesting introduction to the FOR
organisation which has set up ‘one stop shops’ for IT
services in Kenya and Uganda – initially using recycled
computers from The Netherlands, and now engaging in
some computer recycling activity of its own, locally in
Africa. FOR encourages members of the African diaspora
to return to invest in small businesses there, and provides
the IT support that enables them to set up easily. And she
manages this from Wassenaar! A dynamic business
woman showing that a not-for-profit enterprise is a highly
worthwhile activity. Last week I was privileged to attend a lunch at the
UK ambassador’s residence, where a number of Dutch-
English business organisations were represented. We are
asked by the ambassador to come with plans to support
stimulation of trade between the two countries, and
particularly also to help celebrate a number of the
activities taking place in 2012, including the Queen’s 60th
Jubilee, and the UK Olympics. For the former activity,
three members have already volunteered their businesses
to be involved (please drop me a note if you would also
like to be involved), and for the latter, please let the
committee have your ideas. Possibilities include an
evening event together with other business groups. We
may also host a special lunch at some point. Theambassador intends to address us at one of the Spring
lunches to talk directly about this.
Please accept my apologies in advance for being
absent from the October lunch next Friday. Mike Carn
has kindly volunteered for a ‘rave from the grave’,
including a speaker from the British Legion and the
opportunity to purchase poppies before Remembrance
Day. I will be celebrating my own 30th anniversary of
married bliss with Mrs. Waters by exploring Cairo before
we cruise down the Nile from Aswan to Luxor together.
I will raise a glass of arak to you all from the pool
deck of the MS Alexandria! On Saturday 12th November at 1030 John
Richardson will again lay a wreath from CADS members
at the Remembrance Day event at the Nieuwe
Oosterbegraafplaats in Amsterdam. All members are
cordially invited to attend and pay respect to the young
people who gave their lives to liberate The Netherlands
during WWII. Afterwards we will repair to the
refreshment centre at the cemetery for a warming cup of
something or other…
Our November lunch on Friday 25th will be
addressed by TimCookeon thesubject of micro-
finance.Timhaschairedanumberofbusinessesto
success during his career, and is now using the
same talents to supervise a number of invested
businesses in Africa around Nairobi and Lake
Victoria. It will be an interesHng andeye-opening
story . CADS has suppor ted some of these
businesseswithamicro-financedonaHon,andTim
willreportonthose.
At the end of the month, on the 29th
November,wewillbevisiHngGaryandIlse’swine
barinNaardenforaCADSdinnerandwinetasHng.
ThestorybehindthisisthatGaryandIlselikedthe
bar in their village so much, that when it was
announced it would be closing they decided to
forestallthatdreadeventbybuyingandrunningit
themselves. Following some staff changes and
renovaHons,theyhaveinvitedustogoandsample
its delights. So reserve the evening of 29th
November inyour diaries, fora greatnightoutin
Naarden!
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