New Cads Report Oct 2011_3

8/3/2019 New Cads Report Oct 2011_3

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CADS Report publishes private, secret, and classified nonsense about the state of the UK from anonymous news sources.

CADS REPORTOctober 2011 Issue No: Five http://cads-amsterdam.org/

F O R S A L E .O N E O W N E R :

B E D O U I N T E N T

B E L I E V E D T O B E

B I R T H P L A C E O F

F A M O U S L I B Y A N M A D D O G

non compos mentis

D E A D D E PO T

Tony Blair is George Very - Smiley

Coming to a cinema near you

TINKER TAILOR SOL DIER DEA D DE SPO T

Former spy George Smiley is called out of retirement for one last top -

secret mission. His task? To turn a blind eye to t he d eat h o

f re bel Li byan

d espot Col Gad d afi. Will he be a ble to unco ver a bsolutely no trut hs at

all In his effort to keep t he ageing d espot ali ve a

nd on t he t hrone? A

super b rend ition of t he classic no vel, w hic h perfe

ctly e vokes t he gru b by

atmosp here of t he mid 2000s and t he insane paranoia at t he top of t h

e

La bour go vernment.

COMING TO A CINEMA NEAR YOU

George Very-Smiley

is played by Tony Blair.Tinker by Alistair Campbell.

The Sailor is Peter Mandelson.

The Soldier is Gordon Brown.

Col Gaddafi is the dead mad dog.

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The pair met each other on the beach

but shortly after Mr Betts was wounded by

heavy machine gun fire and airlifted back to

Britain. He never saw his fellow soldier and

friend again.

During a trip to Arromanches D-Day

Museum in northern France this summer

he spotted Mr Baker's signature directly

above his in a book of remembrance.

He quickly made enquiries and

discovered the signature had been made just

20 minutes earlier - and Mr Baker was

about to depart on a coach.

M r B e t t s , o f W e l l e s b o u r n e ,

Warkwickshire, dashed out to the car park

and had an emotional reunion with his

former comrade.

ENGLAND 0 – FRENCH 1

Disaster has struck in both cricket and

rugby. First, the dastardly French showed

their true colours. After limping hopelessly

through the first round of pool matches,

they turned into veritable tigers to send flat

footed England packing in the quarter finals

of the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand.

This will have immediate negative

impact on the Dutch Horeca trade, and

rumours abound that the English pubs in

Leiden and The Hague will no longer open

early on Saturday mornings for the

remainder of the tournament. France will

now face New Zealand in the final. GO

NEW ZEALAND!!!

And as if that was not enough, after

losing disastrously at test cricket, India has

now found its form back on home turf, and

sent England packing in the second match

of the one day series in Mohali. As I write,

India are 89/1 in the last match, and need

210 more runs to win the series. By the

time you read this, we will know the

outcome… GO ENGLAND!!!

England loseone-dayseries in

India afterthriller in

MohaliEngland lost the

one-day series inIndia after the

home side took

an unassailable3-0 lead with a

tense, five-wicket

win in Mohali.

D-Day veterans whofought side-by-side

on beaches of Normandy reunited

after chancemeeting on same

beach 67 years later

TWO TWO D-DAY COMRADES AND WAR HEROES BILL BETTS, 88, AND CLIFFORD BAKER, 98,

WERE REUNITED BY CHANCE WHEN THEY RETURNED TO THE NORMANDY BEACHES AS

TOURISTS 67 YEARS LATER - ON THE SAME DAY.

WICKET-LEAKS

Young men: Left, Bill Betts pictured aged 19 and right

Clifford Baker pictured in Hanover, Germany, in his youth




CHAIRMAN’S CORNER OCTOBER 2011

CHAIRMAN’S CORNER

Our September lunch was the first of the autumn

season, and we enjoyed a pleasant lunch back in our usual

surroundings of the terrace room. Our speaker Millicent

Odongo gave us an interesting introduction to the FOR

organisation which has set up ‘one stop shops’ for IT

services in Kenya and Uganda – initially using recycled

computers from The Netherlands, and now engaging in

some computer recycling activity of its own, locally in

Africa. FOR encourages members of the African diaspora

to return to invest in small businesses there, and provides

the IT support that enables them to set up easily. And she

manages this from Wassenaar! A dynamic business

woman showing that a not-for-profit enterprise is a highly

worthwhile activity. Last week I was privileged to attend a lunch at the

UK ambassador’s residence, where a number of Dutch-

English business organisations were represented. We are

asked by the ambassador to come with plans to support

stimulation of trade between the two countries, and

particularly also to help celebrate a number of the

activities taking place in 2012, including the Queen’s 60th

Jubilee, and the UK Olympics. For the former activity,

three members have already volunteered their businesses

to be involved (please drop me a note if you would also

like to be involved), and for the latter, please let the

committee have your ideas. Possibilities include an

evening event together with other business groups. We

may also host a special lunch at some point. Theambassador intends to address us at one of the Spring

lunches to talk directly about this.

Please accept my apologies in advance for being

absent from the October lunch next Friday. Mike Carn

has kindly volunteered for a ‘rave from the grave’,

including a speaker from the British Legion and the

opportunity to purchase poppies before Remembrance

Day. I will be celebrating my own 30th anniversary of

married bliss with Mrs. Waters by exploring Cairo before

we cruise down the Nile from Aswan to Luxor together.

I will raise a glass of arak to you all from the pool

deck of the MS Alexandria! On Saturday 12th November at 1030 John

Richardson will again lay a wreath from CADS members

at the Remembrance Day event at the Nieuwe

Oosterbegraafplaats in Amsterdam. All members are

cordially invited to attend and pay respect to the young

people who gave their lives to liberate The Netherlands

during WWII. Afterwards we will repair to the

refreshment centre at the cemetery for a warming cup of

something or other…

Our November lunch on Friday 25th will be

addressed by TimCookeon thesubject of micro-

finance.Timhaschairedanumberofbusinessesto

success during his career, and is now using the

same talents to supervise a number of invested

businesses in Africa around Nairobi and Lake

Victoria. It will be an interesHng andeye-opening

story . CADS has suppor ted some of these

businesseswithamicro-financedonaHon,andTim

willreportonthose.

At the end of the month, on the 29th

November,wewillbevisiHngGaryandIlse’swine

barinNaardenforaCADSdinnerandwinetasHng.

ThestorybehindthisisthatGaryandIlselikedthe

bar in their village so much, that when it was

announced it would be closing they decided to

forestallthatdreadeventbybuyingandrunningit

themselves. Following some staff changes and

renovaHons,theyhaveinvitedustogoandsample

its delights. So reserve the evening of 29th

November inyour diaries, fora greatnightoutin

Naarden!

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New Cads Report Oct 2011_3