Relationships uDefinition of biblical love: “A commitment to give of myself in every area for the...

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RelationshipsRelationshipsDefinition of biblical Definition of biblical love:love:

““A commitment to give A commitment to give of myself in every area of myself in every area for the good of for the good of another”another”

RelationshipsRelationshipsA biblical relationship A biblical relationship model:model:

1. Qualities of biblical 1. Qualities of biblical lovelove

2. Areas of investment2. Areas of investment3. Levels of relationship3. Levels of relationship

1. Qualities of biblical love1. Qualities of biblical love4 essential dimensions4 essential dimensions

1. Qualities of biblical love1. Qualities of biblical love4 essential dimensions4 essential dimensions

SacrificialJn. 15:13

1. Qualities of biblical love1. Qualities of biblical love4 essential dimensions4 essential dimensions

SacrificialJn. 15:13

Righteous (Disciplining)Mat. 18:15ff

1. Qualities of biblical love1. Qualities of biblical love4 essential dimensions4 essential dimensions

SacrificialJn. 15:13

Righteous (Disciplining)Mat. 18:15ff

ForgivingI Cor. 13:5

1. Qualities of biblical love1. Qualities of biblical love4 essential dimensions4 essential dimensions

SacrificialJn. 15:13

Righteous (Disciplining)Mat. 18:15ff

ForgivingI Cor. 13:5

EmotionalI Cor. 13:4

2. Areas of Investment2. Areas of Investment

2. Areas of Investment2. Areas of Investment

CommonCommonExperienceExperience

2. Areas of Investment2. Areas of Investment

CommonCommonExperienceExperience

PersonalPersonalInner Inner

WorkingWorking

2. Areas of Investment2. Areas of Investment

CommonCommonExperienceExperience

PersonalPersonalInner Inner

WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The Casual RelationshipThe Casual RelationshipCommon Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The Casual RelationshipThe Casual Relationship

Sporadic Sporadic contact. contact. Tends to Tends to be short-be short-term and term and somewhat somewhat superficialsuperficial

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The Casual RelationshipThe Casual Relationship

Sporadic contact. Tends to be short-term and somewhat superficial

Come out of your comfort zone

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The Casual RelationshipThe Casual Relationship

Sporadic Sporadic contact. contact. Tends to Tends to be short-be short-term and term and somewhat somewhat superficialsuperficial

General General searching into searching into the other's the other's interests, goals, interests, goals, likes, dislikes,likes, dislikes,problems, problems, background, background, spiritual spiritual experiences, experiences, priorities, etc. priorities, etc.

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The Casual RelationshipThe Casual Relationship

Sporadic Sporadic contact. contact. Tends to Tends to be short-be short-term and term and somewhat somewhat superficialsuperficial

General General searching into searching into the other's the other's interests, goals, interests, goals, likes, dislikes,likes, dislikes,problems, problems, background, background, spiritual spiritual experiences, experiences, priorities, etc. priorities, etc.

Get Get outside outside yourself & yourself & explore explore anotheranother

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The Casual RelationshipThe Casual Relationship

Sporadic Sporadic contact. contact. Tends to Tends to be short-be short-term and term and somewhat somewhat superficialsuperficial

General General searching into searching into the other's the other's interests, goals, interests, goals, likes, dislikes,likes, dislikes,problems, problems, background, background, spiritual spiritual experiences, experiences, priorities, etc. priorities, etc.

Interest, Interest, warmth, warmth, enthusiasm enthusiasm "Politeness" "Politeness" means means negatives are negatives are shared shared carefully and carefully and only if only if necessarynecessary

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The Casual RelationshipThe Casual Relationship

Sporadic Sporadic contact. contact. Tends to Tends to be short-be short-term and term and somewhat somewhat superficialsuperficial

General General searching into searching into the other's the other's interests, goals, interests, goals, likes, dislikes,likes, dislikes,problems, problems, background, background, spiritual spiritual experiences, experiences, priorities, etc. priorities, etc.

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

Interest, Interest, warmth, warmth, enthusiasm enthusiasm "Politeness" "Politeness" means means negatives are negatives are shared shared carefully and carefully and only if only if necessarynecessary

Learn to be Learn to be more more expressive expressive and and vulnerablevulnerable

The The CloseClose Relationship RelationshipCommon Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The The CloseClose Relationship Relationship

Regular Regular time spent time spent Quality Quality time time included. included. Shared Shared goals and goals and interestsinterests

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The The CloseClose Relationship Relationship

Regular Regular time spent time spent Quality Quality time time included. included. Shared Shared goals and goals and interestsinterests

No short-cut No short-cut to intimacy!to intimacy!

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

Regular Regular time spent time spent Quality Quality time time included. included. Shared Shared goals and goals and interestsinterests

Freedom to Freedom to ask pointed, ask pointed, personal personal questions: questions: other other relationships, relationships, feelings, etc. feelings, etc.

The The CloseClose Relationship RelationshipCommon Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

Regular Regular time spent time spent Quality Quality time time included. included. Shared Shared goals and goals and interestsinterests

Beginning to Beginning to understand understand each other's each other's problems and problems and potentials. potentials. Able to Able to promote promote potential and potential and help with help with problemsproblems

The The CloseClose Relationship RelationshipCommon Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

Regular Regular time spent time spent Quality Quality time time included. included. Shared Shared goals and goals and interestsinterests

Beginning to Beginning to understand understand each other's each other's problems and problems and potentials. potentials. Able to Able to promote promote potential and potential and help with help with problemsproblems

The The CloseClose Relationship Relationship

Thinking Thinking about the about the other while other while not togethernot together

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

Regular Regular time spent time spent Quality Quality time time included. included. Shared Shared goals and goals and interestsinterests

Beginning to Beginning to understand understand each other's each other's problems and problems and potentials. potentials. Able to Able to promote promote potential and potential and help with help with problemsproblems

Loyalty, Loyalty, affection and affection and gratitude. gratitude. More honest More honest about about disappoint-disappoint-ments, but ments, but also careful also careful to encourageto encourage

The The CloseClose Relationship RelationshipCommon Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

Regular Regular time spent time spent Quality Quality time time included. included. Shared Shared goals and goals and interestsinterests

Beginning to Beginning to understand understand each other's each other's problems and problems and potentials. potentials. Able to Able to promote promote potential and potential and help with help with problemsproblems

Loyalty, Loyalty, affection and affection and gratitude. gratitude. More honest More honest about about disappoint-disappoint-ments, but ments, but also careful also careful to encourageto encourage

The The CloseClose Relationship Relationship

Most of us are Most of us are too negative- too negative- we have not we have not discovered this discovered this powerpower

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The The IntimateIntimate Relationship Relationship

Extensive Extensive time time commit-commit-ment. ment. Availability Availability has few has few limits. limits.

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The The IntimateIntimate Relationship Relationship

Shared Shared worlds:worlds:goals, goals, activities, activities, and other and other people. people. Backlog of Backlog of common common experienceexperience

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The The IntimateIntimate Relationship Relationship

Shared Shared worlds:worlds:goals, goals, activities, activities, and other and other people. people. Backlog of Backlog of common common experienceexperience

Prolonged Prolonged investment investment overcomes overcomes other other deficienciesdeficiencies

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The The IntimateIntimate Relationship Relationship

Shared Shared worlds:worlds:goals, goals, activities, activities, and other and other people. people. Backlog of Backlog of common common experienceexperience

Complete open Complete open communi-communi-cation.cation.

Common Common commitment commitment to develop to develop each other's each other's charactercharacter

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The The IntimateIntimate Relationship Relationship

Shared Shared worlds:worlds:goals, goals, activities, activities, and other and other people. people. Backlog of Backlog of common common experienceexperience

Complete open Complete open communi-communi-cation.cation.

Common Common commitment commitment to develop to develop each other's each other's charactercharacter

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The The IntimateIntimate Relationship Relationship

Confronta-Confronta-tion and tion and affirmation affirmation go both waysgo both ways

Shared Shared worlds:worlds:goals, goals, activities, activities, and other and other people. people. Backlog of Backlog of common common experienceexperience

Complete open Complete open communi-communi-cation.cation.

Common Common commitment commitment to develop to develop each other's each other's charactercharacter

Same as Same as "close," but "close," but even more even more freedom to freedom to share openly. share openly. Emotional Emotional giving is giving is constructive constructive & controlled & controlled

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The The IntimateIntimate Relationship Relationship

Shared Shared worlds:worlds:goals, goals, activities, activities, and other and other people. people. Backlog of Backlog of common common experienceexperience

Complete open Complete open communi-communi-cation.cation.

Common Common commitment commitment to develop to develop each other's each other's charactercharacter

Commitment Commitment to share to share nurturing nurturing feelings for feelings for the sake of the sake of the other the other even when even when not not spontaneousspontaneous

Common Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

The The IntimateIntimate Relationship Relationship

Shared Shared worlds:worlds:goals, goals, activities, activities, and other and other people. people. Backlog of Backlog of common common experienceexperience

Complete open Complete open communi-communi-cation.cation.

Common Common commitment commitment to develop to develop each other's each other's charactercharacter

Commitment Commitment to share to share nurturing nurturing feelings for feelings for the sake of the sake of the other the other even when even when not not spontaneousspontaneous

The The IntimateIntimate Relationship RelationshipCommon Common ExperienceExperience

Inner Inner WorkingWorking

EmotionalEmotionalSharingSharing

Some Some expressions expressions will will nevernever be be spontaneousspontaneous

Using the ModelUsing the ModelFor each point of tension:For each point of tension: -the key is to appropriate the -the key is to appropriate the power of God for changepower of God for change

-persistent prayer and -persistent prayer and availabilityavailability

-don’t be confined to working -don’t be confined to working on only one levelon only one level

-get help from others-get help from others

Next WeekNext WeekManaging inter-personal Managing inter-personal conflictconflict

Relationships Week 3Relationships Week 3

Comments?Comments?Questions?Questions?

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