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8/9/2019 The Crazy Pelican by Steven Donnini
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The Crazy
PelicanBy Steven Donnini
Halloween Party at The Pelican Bar.
Copyright 2010
Steven Donnini
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Halloween night 2005, The Pelican Bar was the place
to be in Orlando, Florida. Everyone was dressed in
elaborate costumes much like the Halloween Parade
in New Yorks East Village. But instead of gay New
Yorkers dressed in bazaar costumes, the place was
filled with Colombians and Brazilians dressed for
Mardi Gras. There has been bad blood over the
years between Colombians and Brazilians. So much
so that when they mix liquor and women one can
expect that before the night is through theyll be
hair, teeth, and eyeballs on the bar top.
Fernando Vidajet bought the Crazy Pelican in 1990
after he moved to Florida from Bogot. As his
Attorney Jimmy James said, Allegedly escaping a
homicide rap of a Judge who didnt care much for
cocaine traffickers pouring cash into the offices
of the Mayor and other city officials.
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Since moving to central Florida he had become low
key in an effort to clean up his reputation. But
its hard to give up the easy money, so his hand is
in the business enough to know the players. Now
the big money traffic is in high-tech guns and
fashionable body armor. The thing is Fernando
looks like a pint sized Golf Caddy. His wardrobe
consists of Tommy Bahamas shirts, Bermuda Shorts,
Colombian handmade sandals and a Ping cap.
He has a nervous habit of bouncing a golf ball on
the bar floor. Norma a Attorney with Jimmy James,
is late to the Pelican Halloween Party, she figures
its going to be a long night and she will do some
prospecting handing out of business cards later.
With this crowd the action will start about
midnight when the Peotone and Mescal is flowing.
Mescal is hard and cheap not like any other
Tequilas. Its consumed by the Colombians who
use it to wash down the ever present cocaine.
Fernando doesnt sell coke in the bar.
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Instead he has a customized Black Cadillac Escalade
complete with the vanity plates CANDY MAN,
registered to his gangster second cousin Pepe who
parks in the back lot with a sales crew. They
offer the finest nose candy, Dips (PCP dipped
cigarettes) and Blunts at a premium price. Jimmy
James and the regulars call Fernando The Crazy
Pelican. The truth is Fernando makes more cash
selling guns and shipping untaxed American
cigarettes to the Colombians than the cocaine that
passes through. He knows that Pepes wife Semone
has been skimming on the coke sales. Fernando
never liked her after he caught her having sex with
a Porto Rican in the power room. Caught red faced,
she cried and he agreed to keep it quite. Anyway,
Semone was being watched 24-7.
As Fernando says, Yeah, Kemosoby, you need an
extra set of eyes in your ass, because everybody is
trying to hose you.
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Jimmy James makes his way through the crowed bar
and is greeted by Fernando, Hop-a-long Casa-
dooch.
Jimmy, Shit man this is what I always ware.
Bartender, Thats Paladin not Hop-a-long.
Jimmy, I like the black western look, its my
trademark. You know.
Fernando, A cracker cowboy?
Jimmy, How about you? You look like a doorman at
the Disney Resort.
Fernando, Im in disguise. Its low key.
While the Halloween party is in full swing a few of
Fernandos boys are unloading a shipment of
firearms into the storage room of the Pelican Bar.
6 fifty cal. Sniper rifles, 4 Stinger surface to
air missiles, 12 RPGs, 6,000 9mm rounds, 25
newly minted 45 cal. Chrome plated US Navy
pistols, 2 - 45 cal. Chrome plated pistols with
white Ivory handles and 12 Kevlar all-weather
Jackets with vests.
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Rico a bartender opens the boxes to inspect and
verify the delivery. Fernando is careful about
what he ships to his Colombian clients because they
are very picky, especially about fashion and the
Kevlar clothing he is having tailored for them in a
small shop in Deltona. Fernando is a compulsive
gambler and loan shark. So, when someone owes him
on a bet or drug deal, its going to get paid one
way or another. He does this work himself. About
12:00 James Jimmy James joins in the Halloween
party dressed as Al Capone and carrying a Israeli
Submachine gun loaded with live ammo. To announce
his arrival, he fires a few rounds into the wooden
floor. The music stops. Half the men in the crowd
pull out their pistols and take aim at him.
Fernando jumps on top of the bar and says, Hay
cool it. Its just a costume.
James high on some of Fernandos product says,
Just kidding.
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The music starts again and festivities continue.
Jamess high ginks have gotten him in many a hard
place. He has an unpaid sports gambling debt with
Fernando that is way overdue. He walks up to
Fernando.
James, Ive got a deal for you.
Fernando, Just pay me. No deals.
James, You cheap bastard. Kiss my cracker ass.
That ball game in Miami was rigged. I do favors
for you all the time.
Fernando, So do me a favor, pay me. James takes a
roll of 100 bills and counts off $2,500.
James, Dont ask me for anything.
Fernando, OK were square. Fernando calls out to
Pepe to get a case of Corona from the cooler. Pepe
is a hot headed Colombian with many years of
experience in the drug trade. The party breaks up
about 4:00am.
At 10:00 in the morning, Jimmy arrives in his
office and is greeted by Norma who had just gotten
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in. She turns on the small TV on her desk to see a
police chase on Interstate-4.
The helicopters from TV network affiliates are
following a black Cadillac Escalade with tags
reading Candy Man, being chased by a dozen police
cruisers from Orlando, Orange County, Altamonte
Springs, Winter Park and The Florida Highway
Patrol.
As for the story, it was called into a 911 operator
by a frightened neighbor, She reported, Pepe had
come home to discover his wife Semone in the act
with a Porto Rican man half her age. The man
escaped out the back door, around the pool and over
a fence into my backyard.
When the police arrived they surmised Pepe had
returned to the bedroom and confronted Semone who
had gotten dressed in a t-shirt and very short
shorts. After being out all night at the Pelican
Bar, Pepe lost what little cool he had, riffled
through a hall closet for his machete and whacked
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off her head. He grabbed her head by the hair,
carried it outside and put it on the passengers
seat in the Cadillac SUV. The police put out a
call to all departments in the area. I-4 and
Altamonte exit Florida Highway Patrol cruiser
pulled up close to the right rear end of the SUV
and gave it a nudge. At 70 mph it doesnt take
much to flip an SUV. It flipped over and over
until it came to a stop in the grass beside the
road. In all the flailing around Semones head
flew out an open sunroof like a canon ball and
landed 300 feet away in the roadside brush.
Pepe was OK except for a badly cut left ear. He
was arrested and transported to Orange County Jail.
Fernando called Jimmy James to meet him there.
Pepe wasnt talking to police who were interested
to know what happened to Semones head.
Jimmy asked the homicide detectives to please leave
the interrogation room. He asked Pepe, What
happened?
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Pepe answered in Spanish, I came home about 9:30,
walked into the bedroom and found Semone with her
cousin Alberto. Chopped of her head and took her
with me to get an oatmeal breakfast at Dennys.
Thats when the police chased me.
Jimmy, Wheres her head?
Pepe, Must have flown out the window in the
crash.
Jimmy, Why did you take her head with you to
breakfast?
Pepe, I wasnt finished talking to her.
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