Understanding & Dealing with the Difficult & Disruptive – YOU CAN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU...

Understanding & Dealing with

the Difficult & Disruptive –

YOU CAN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND…

- Bob Dylan, 1961

A LOOK AT CONDUCT DISORDERS

UNDERSOCIALIZED

AGGRESSIVE

UNDERSOCIALIZED

NON-AGGRESSIVE

SOCIALIZED

AGGRESSIVE

SOCIALIZED

NON-AGGRESSIVE

Do We Want to Understand Them?

3 MAJOR RISK FACTORS

BORN WITH DIFFICULT TEMPERAMENT

PARENT W/ MARGINAL DISCIPLINE & NUTURING SKILLS

PARENTS UNDER EXCESSIVE STRESS

Little more detail for those not ready to take a nap

Difficult temperament due to biochemical anomalies

< epinephrine

^ serotonin

< monamine oxidase

^ dopamine-beta- hydroxylase

POOR or No Parenting Skills

INCONSISTENCY

SPARE THE ROD….

WON’T STOP TIL YA HIT EM!

COERCIVE HYPOTHESIS

COERCIVE HYPOTHESIS OR

HOW TO RAISE A NON-COMPLIANT CHILD IN 5 EASY STEPS

1. PARENT ASKS KID TO DO SOMETHING

2. CHILD REFUSES

3. RISING WITH EMOTIONS PARENT REPEATS REQUEST

4. CHILD RESPONDS WITH ABRASIVE DEFIANCE

5. PARENT WITHDRAWS REQUEST TO AVOID UNPLEASANT CONFRONTATION

STRESS – INSIDE & OUT

SINGLE PARENTS

NO ASSISTANCE

NO RELIEF

MARITIAL DISCORD

LOW MARITIAL SATISFACTION = NEG. PERCEPTION OF KIDS

DEPRESSION or MOOD DISORDER

OPPOSITIONAL RISK FACTORS

1 OUT OF 3 = At-Risk

As At-Risk #’s > OD >

All 3 = Unavoidable

Why Have Conventional Approaches Failed???????

PUNISHMENT = < Chance of response recurring

FLAWED ASSUMPTIONS1. CONSIDERED CONSEQUENCES2. WEIGHED CHANCES3. DELIBERATLELY MISBEHAVED

HOWEVER… the OD CHILD’SNEGATIVE BEHAVIOR STEMS FROM:

An UNPREMEDITATED IMPULSE

OR

AN OVERWHELMING EMOTIONAL OUTBURST

IGNORING THE BEHAVIOR

REMOVE THE REWARD AND THE RESPONSE

WILL CEASE = EXTINCTION

PROBLEM IS …

MANY ARE NOT SEEKING ANYBODY’S ATTENTION

How about ‘REWARDS’ ???

RESPONSES AT A LOW RATE WILL > WITH A REWARD

FIXED INTERVAL REINFORCEMENT USUALLY WORKS

FALLS APART AFTER COUPLE OF DAYS

OD kid quits trying

learns not to invest in any behavior plan teacher attempts

HOW COME ???

I THOUGHT REWARDS WORKED WITH EVERYBODY?WELL, BECAUSE…

REWARD SYSTEMS ARE A CRUEL HOAX FOR SOME KIDS !

lack that level of controls

DISENGAGE FROM THE TEACHER

SMELLS CONTROL

CONFIRMS FAILURE

IDENTIFYING THE PROBLEM

Power Struggles

Your “FAV” verbal defiance's

Some non-verbal active defiance's

Think about a challenging student

How do you typically react ?

So how is that working for you?

How would you like to start reacting to the kid or situation?

What is getting in the way?

WHAT DOES WORK?

Understand the 3 underlying motivations

LACK OF RESPECT

LACK OF BELONGING

LACK OF POWER or CONTROL

#1 ASSUMPTION

ALL BEHAVIOR IS GOAL DIRECTED

BEHAVIOR= an attempt to meet a NEED

THEREFORE… IT HAS MEANING

IDENTIFY THE NEEDS OF THE STUDENT

TEACH MORE APPROPRIATE WAYS

THEY DO IT FOR A REASON

IT AIN’T RANDOM BEHAVIOR

And … so do we!

Every action … has a reaction

Even a non-reaction…

is a reaction

Maintain in a low-stress level

Who are you?

EDUCATORS CHECKLISTTRUE 1 2 3 4 5 FALSE

Unless my students and the staff approve of me, it indicates I’m inadequate as an educator.

If I fail as a teacher, I fail in life.

A good teacher is respected by students and should never be challenged.

TRUE 1 2 3 4 5 FALSE

I can’t stand to have my class ‘out of control’.

Because things are not going well now, it indicates things are going to get worse.

Some of these students are just bad kids and the only way they’ll change is to suffer.

RATIONAL or LIFE-ENHANCING BELIEFS

“It would be nice if my staff & students approved of me, but if they don’t, I can still do a good job.”

“My skill as a teacher and my value as a person are two different things.”

“Having the student’s respect is nice, but not an absolute necessity. It’s uncomfortable to be challenged, but it’s happened before and I’ve survived.”

More Rational Thinking….

“It’s embarrassing and frustrating when my class gets out of control, but it’s not the end of the world.”

“Just because things are going well right now, doesn’t mean things will get worse. It’s more likely they’ll get better.”

“There’s no such thing as a rotten kid, only kids who ACT rottenly. A lot of kids misbehave but that doesn’t mean they should suffer.”

Attitudinal Therapy

Kid is being neutral to positive THEN…

You be positive and engaging (Give encouraging feedback & instruction)

If Kid is being negative or worse… THEN You be neutral and business-like (follow-through w/ pre-determined

consequences)

AVOID

Over reacting

Losing your temper

Being inconsistent

Creating “secondary gain”

Embarrassing the student

SEEK INSTEAD

An atmosphere of respect

Convey that you’re in

CONTROLLearning through consistency

Repetition of experience

Following a posted agenda

CHANGING YOUR FRAME OF REFERENCE

REFRAMING: THE ART OF FINDING THE POSITIVE IN WHAT APPEARS TO BE NEGATIVE----

DISCOVERING THE SILVER LINING AND BUILDING ON IT.

SEEING IN A NEW LIGHT

Loses temper = ___________

Argumentative ____________

Defiant ____________

Non-compliant ____________

Annoying ____________

Blaming ____________

Touchy ____________

Resentful ____________

UNDERSTANDING CRISIS

ARE GROWING WHERE THEY ARE NOW

Must have confidence in your skills

Need security, support and tolerance

Need us to view problems as “helping cues” not disaster

STUDENTS IN Crisis

Seven Behavioral Accommodations

Reinforcers and ConsequencesReinforcement InventoryPersonal Prescriptions“Australia” – (grades K-12) JournalingThe Turtle Technique – (grades K-5)Strategic Seating –(The docile/hyper/hostile shuffle)Enlist Support of Class

BASIC DEFUSING SKILLS

LOOK AT THIS PHOTO…

AND JUST

CHILL

MORE DEFUSING SKILLS

P.E.P.

STANDS FOR:

PRIVACY

EYE-CONTACT

PROXIMITY

NON-VERBAL or in-direct P.E.P.’s

INDEX CARDS & POST- IT NOTES

CORRECTIVE OR APPRECIATIVE STATEMENTS

COLOR CARDS FOR SIGNALS

Pre-arranged, Non-confrontive signals for leaving room-

The Questions to open the RELATIONSHIP BOX

Do you know exactly who revolves in their daily orbit?  

Do you understand their chief concerns? 

 Are you aware of their secret likes and dislikes? 

Does each one have a secret passion that he doesn’t share with anyone else?

RELATIONSHIP BUILDING

Understanding your students' world not only strengthens the teacher-pupil relationship

It can become the absolute difference between their success and failure  

3 ways can you forge a better connection with your STUDENT instantly ...  

1.  “Walk and Talk” with THIS student as many times as you can.

2.  Find ways to get THIS student to follow your directions quickly and quietly, the first time given. FOCUS ON THIS --- job# 1

3.  Get closer to THIS student --- even if you are afraid to or don't feel like it.

How to contact me for In-services…

Full-day or ½ day

richard.palazzo@tulsatech.edu

Cell # 918-381-7626

I apologize this is the only photo I have on my desktop…And besides …both Newt & Romney refused to pose with me.

ReferencesAzrin, N. H., & Besalel, V.A. (1980). How to use over-correction. Lawrence, KS:& H Enterprise.

Elliot, S.N., Racine, C. N., & Busse, R.T. (1995) Best practices in preschool social skills training Washington, DC: National Association of School Psychologists.

Frick, P.J., Lahey, B.B. Loeber, R., and Stouthamer-Loeber, M. (1992). Familial risk factors to oppositional defiant disorder and conduct disorder. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 60, 49-55.

Glasser, W. (1965) Reality Therapy, a new approach to psychiatry. New York: Harper & Row.

Hall, R. V., & Hall, M.C. (1980) How to use planned ignoring. Austin, TX: Pro-Ed.

White, J. L., Moffitt, T.E., Earls F., Robins, L., & Silva, P.(1990) How early can we tell?

Predictors of childhood Behavior Disorders. Criminology, 28(4), 507-528.