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how to attract a woman through simple stories
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Dating Tips: Using Storytelling to Attract WomenBy: Vin DiCarlo of www.vindicarlo.comToday I want to talk to you about a subject that I feel is very
important and powerful when it comes to meeting and holding
the
interest of not only women but anyone in your life.
This subject is none other than Storytelling and when used
correctly,
can make your desirability with women sky rocket.
Before I jump into the tips and secrets behind successful story
telling
and how to construct a powerful story (which will be covered
more in
depth in Part II) I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to
the
matter of story telling.
Myth one: My stories have to be true and about me.
Now this is ultimately up for you to decide but as long as you
keep the
conversation fun, apply the right story telling techniques, and
can keep
the conversation moving, then your story does not have to be
true.
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Even if the women does not believe the story, if you kept it fun,
she
will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation
topics
developed from your stories.
I am not encouraging you to lie though, the most powerful
stories are
ones that are true and come from a place of emotion.
You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably
becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a
newly
painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more
importantly
create together. (This becomes a key factor in "Role Playing"
and by
mastering storytelling, your creativity in "Role Play
Conversations"
raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be
saved for a
later issue.)
However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the
stories
have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to
be
about the story teller.
One of the main goals of story telling is to communicate to the
listener
about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about
yourself by
HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.
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Through the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language,
you can
convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor,
interests,
and over all personality.
When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be
able to
repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that
directly
makes you more interesting and displays your personality.
Myth Two: As you get better with women you become less
dependent
on story telling.
Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do
not go
into interactions with prescripted stories as much as you may
starting
out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops
that
make you less dependent.
Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made
up or
written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject
in an
interesting fashion that makes people listen.
This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is
one of
the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great
way to
improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social
skills.
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What is storytelling and why is it important?
Storytelling is the direct means of communication when
highlighting
important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through
context,
but through delivery.
Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know
someone and
the great thing about telling a story, is that it creates so many
other
subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always
followed by another story.
If you are familiar with "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey
Chaucer,
you will see how each story is molded by the one told before it
and by
who told the story. (Don't worry; your stories don't have to have
a
rhyme scheme during the interaction like many of Chaucer's do)
There are many reasons storytelling is important and if you are
not
currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following
facts:
*Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations
This is one of the most common problems that I see with many
guys. An
interaction will be going great, then conversation starts to die
and
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there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a
story
from your arsenal and revive the interaction.
Knowing you are armed with a story creates more approach
confidence
when entering an interaction.
People are afraid to enter interactions because of the fear of
running
out of things to say. By developing a great story or two and
keeping
them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a
great since
of confidence during the initial approach and can really help
limit the
anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women.
You are
guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of
your
story.
*Storytelling is a great way to display dominance
When you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you,
you are
the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word.
Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you
in a
dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and
everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take
the
group next.
What you convey through your stories is how you will be
remembered.
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Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story
is
unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you
about
some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories
have
been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists
till this
day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and
be like
"Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting
activity that
relates to you)."
*Storytelling develops stronger social skills
This is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure
everyone
masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture
the
entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your
personality
and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are
developed
from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social
personality
that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid.
The
expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future
interactions
and directly improves your social personality.
*You can convey things through storytelling that you normally
could not
say.
There may be some interesting details of your life that said
outside
the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story,
these
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little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain
subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your
identity.
Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective
and what
you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to
work on
creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored.
All this
will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an
exercise I
want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips
and
tactics to create an amazing story.
Exercise 1: Write down anywhere from seven to ten moments in
your
life that you feel changed or defined who you are.
If you have a funny story then that is just a humorous time then
you
can feel free to include that. But even if the story does not
seem
major, just entertaining, the fact that you can remember it
means it
has a bigger effect than you realize.
This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do
learn
through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these
down to
just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get
into
the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.
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Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable
concert or
sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that
happened to you or a friend.
Now I know that there are going to be people that say they
have no
interesting stories. This is just not the truth; everyone has
something
interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest;
even if
it's a silly story write it down. You can't be afraid to share a
story,
sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can't think
of a
past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life.
And if
you still can’t think of one then go take a vacation, you will
return with
hundreds of them.
So many things happen in one day that people don't even think
would be
a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no
excuse
not to have one.
Exercise Two: Write down at least 5 things that you would like
people
to know about you.
This is going to tie into personality conveying. Think of the
things that
you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about
you. These
are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you
who
you are. Do not be surprised if these things are directly related
in
some way to the stories you wrote down in exercise one.
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Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job,
your
goals, your skills and achievements.
Now save this list, we are going to use it a lot in Part II of this
newsletter to create some super powerful stories that you can
always
rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and
how to
use them to make every story and conversation more
interesting.
I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you
will get
to see my story end product as well.
Till then keep an eye out for the next letter and great ready to
really
take storytelling to the next level.
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