Worries, Stress and Stressbusting · Overthinking. When our minds start telling us stories and...

Dr. Richard SlingerLancashire Emotional Health in Schools

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Worries, Stress and Stressbusting

What is anxiety or worry, or fear or stress?

• Worry is a NORMAL experience that happens to EVERYONE

How would you describe it?

• If stress, worry or anxiety was a ‘thing’ that you could see, what would it look like?

• Would it be like an animal, or a monster, or an object, or a shape or a pattern?

• Would it say anything, or do anything?

Worries and stress come from….

Cavemen and Cavewomen

• Thousands of years ago the world was a much more dangerous place. We needed to stay safe so our brains evolved ways to do this.

• There aren’t so many dangers now, but our brains still try to keep us safe in the same way.

The Caveman Mind Tells Us

• Always be on the lookout for danger.• If something goes wrong, remember it and

replay it.• Always try to fit in with the group.• Compare yourself to others to see if you

are doing it right.

• This is just our brain trying to keep us safe.• But all of these things cause us stress!

What is stress?

• Stress is something that happens in our bodies and our minds– It happens to everybody– Like an alarm system alerting you to

threats– It gets your body ready to:

• Fight (stand and fight)• Flight (run away)• Freeze (wait for danger to pass)

What is stress?

• Stress and fear are responses to things our brains think are dangers.

• It’s job is to keep us safe

What we think changes how we feel

Stress and the Brain

‘Upstairs’ or ‘new brain’

‘Downstairs’ or ‘old brain’

Caveman BrainSignals danger

NEW BRAINHelps us get control

Emotions and the Brain

CAVEMAN/OLD BRAIN: in the centre of our brain is the

‘alarm system’ that keeps

track of everything

unpleasant and threatening

NEW BRAIN: at the front is our ‘thinking

brain’

This takes 19 years from

when you are born to

working fully

Emotions and the Brain

CAVEMAN/OLD BRAIN:

something we see as dangerous

or threatening sets the alarm

off

NEW BRAIN: the sound of

the alarm makes it harder to

think

What would your old brain do?

• Will make us feel panicky, hot and sweaty

• Turn our legs to jelly• Make our heart pound• Make us freeze• Make us want to get down• Stop us talking• Stop us thinking

We need the new brain to help…

• I’m on a harness, I can’t fall off• I can stop this at any time• People have done this before and been ok• It’s not THAT high!

What Are Our Minds Like?

Overthinking

When our minds start telling us stories and over-thinking, it

often makes us stressed, as the stories it tells us are negative.

This is the mind looking for danger and trying to keep us

safe.

Do You Ever…?

I need to get everything right, or there’s no point

Do You Ever…?

I’m so rubbish at this

I’m such a worrier

Do You Ever…?

That was good….but it doesn’t count

Next time will be worse

I still didn’t do it perfectly

Do You Ever…?

It will never get better

Everyone is better than me at this

Nothing will ever change

Our Minds

• Are hard to control• Tell us stories to try to make sense of

things• Try to keep us safe by telling us that

things are dangerous• Too much information in the world,

so it looks for danger first

What Can We Do?

•Learn to relaxFeelings

•Think differently about a situation

Thoughts

•Do more things that make you happy

Mood

Stopping Worries Right Now

BREATHESTOP!

BE HERE

LET IT GO

When You Notice Your Mind Making Worries

• STOP: say ‘STOP’ to yourself when worrying thoughts happen

• DISTRACT YOURSELF: do something else, think about something else

STOP!

FOFBOC

FEETOn the FLOOR

BOTTOMOn the CHAIR

Distract - 54321

• Name 5 things you can see in the room with you• Name 4 things you can feel (“chair on my back” or “feet on floor”) • Name 3 things you can hear right now • Name 2 things you can smell right now (or, 2 things you like the smell of) • Name 1 good thing about yourself

STOP!

BREATHE

Why Think About Breathing?

• Stress makes our bodies ready to fight or run away

• This makes us breathe faster• This makes us hot, dizzy, and

distracted• This then makes us more worried!!

• If we can control our breathing we can feel calmer

Square BreathingBREATHE

BE HERE

Our minds are like a time machine

• We are here right now.• But our minds are often time

travelling:– To the past, thinking about things that

have happened– To the future, thinking about things that

haven’t happened yet

Be Here Now - Mindfulness

• How to calm our minds• Keep your mind, your attention and

your focus on this moment, here and now in THE PRESENT

BE HERE

BE HERE

LET IT GO

What Do You See?

Which of These Thoughts Are True?

• I can see into the future• I know what other people are thinking• I know what I will get in my exams• If I think about something a lot, it will

happen• If I worry about something enough, it

won’t happen

• OUR MINDS TELL US ALL OF THESE ARE TRUE

Struggling with Worries

Can we ever get rid of worries?

NO – we will always find something to worry about

BUT – we can stop struggling and try to relax

AND – accept that worries are NORMAL

Stop Struggling and Let It Go

Tell yourself calming things like……

LET IT GO

Thoughts are not real, they are made by my mind

It’s just my brain telling me

things

Stopping Worries

THINK!

BE KIND TO YOURSELF

Stressed Thoughts

• Can we learn to notice when our minds cause us problems?

• Can we ‘talk back’ to them, and stop them bothering us?

• We can only do this when our brain is working well: STOP, BREATHE, BE HERE and LET IT GO need to come first.

Bossing Back Thoughts

• Our minds say things like:

“I’m going to mess this up”“I don’t think people will like me”

“This always goes wrong”

Bossing Back Thoughts

• Is this thought really true?

• What are the facts?

• Even if it is true, can I stop letting it bother me?

• Is there better way of looking at this?

Bossing Back Thoughts

• “I’m really going to mess this up”

This might not be true - it hasn’t happened yet!

What are the facts? How have you done this before? What helps?

How bad would it be if you didn’t do it well?

Looking After Ourselves

• Do you ever find little things stressful, for no reason?

• This can be a sign that we are not looking after ourselves well.

• And that our skills to cope with stress are being used up elsewhere.

Stress Bucket

Tests

Fall out with a friend

Argument with mum

Phone breaks

Drink spills on the floor

Stress

StressStress

Stress

Emptying your stress bucket

• Tell someone and talk about it• Remember it is normal to feel

stressed, and doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you

• Try drawing your stress bucket tonight – can you talk to someone about it?

• What ideas do you have for looking after yourself?

Be Kind to Yourself

• Am I doing enough of the things I enjoy?• Am I getting enough sleep?• Am I being active enough?• Am I thinking about stuff too much?• When can I ‘switch off’?

What Should I Remember From Today?

• Worry and stress are normal. But some things can help

• Practice ways to calm worries: STOP, BREATHE, BE HERE, LET IT GO

• THINK - try bossing back your thoughts

• Talk to someone• Remember to do the things you enjoy

Thanks for listening!