Managing the Chaos and Maintaining the Calm oct 2015

Managing the Chaos and Maintaining the Calm

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Education Wellbeing Research Key Finding:

Essential to an educator’s wellbeing is having an emotional intelligence that allows them to think

positively about the demands of the job and apply realistic coping strategies to effectively manage

demanding emotional situations that arise in working closely with children, young people, parents and other

adults.(Hastings & Bham, 2003; Kern, Waters, Adler & White, 2014; Kilgalon, Maloney & Lock, 2008; Lambert, McCarthy, O’Donnell & Wang, 2009; McCallum & Price, 2010; Parker, Martin, Colmar & Liem, 2012; Pillay, Goddard & Wilss, 2005; Spilt, Koomen & Thijs, 2011; Sturmfels, 2009; Ross, Romer &

Horner, 2012; Vesely, Saklofske, & Nordstokke, 2014)

What is Emotional Intelligence?

What is Emotional Intelligence?

•Self Awareness

•Managing Your Emotions

•Empathy

•Putting altogether in

positive relationships

What is the number one thing we need to facilitate learning?

Managing Emotions

1. Managing difficult emotions

2. Willingness to experience emotions & learn from them

3. Cultivating positive emotions

1.Managing Challenging Emotions Which emotion do you regularly experience in your working day, that you wish you did not?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFkRbUKy19g

What you focus on is what you get to the exclusion of all else

Your Reality

Potential Reality

Potential Reality

Potential Reality

Are you focussing on what’s right or what ‘s wrong?

YourReality

2 million bits of information a second

delete, distort, generalise

7 chunks

0.00054% of reality is what we experience

Managing Challenging Emotions Which emotion do you regularly experience in your working day, that you wish you did not?

• things I have not done

• what I have not got right

• what else I should be doing

• how can I possibly get this all done?

• how stressed I am and others seem to handle it.

• the students who did not complete their work.

• how out of control I feel

Example: Stressed What do you focus on? ( thinking)

Disempowering Thinking Empowering Thinking

Your Turn : __________ (emotion)

Disempowering Thinking Empowering Thinking

All the things I have not done

How can I possibly get this all done?

What else I should be doing

_______(the emotion you wish you did not feel)

Disempowering Thinking Empowering Thinking

All the things I have not done

How can I possibly get this all done?

What else I should be doing

When you are so busy focussing on this, what are you NOT CHOOSING to focus on?

When you are so busy focussing on this, what are you NOT CHOOSING to focus on?

Disempowering Empowering

Things I have not done Things I have done

What I have not got right What I have got right

What else I should be doing Focus for 30 minutes on this task

How can I possibly get this all done?

One small step at a time. What is the next small step?

The students who did not complete their work

The students who did complete their work, what support do students need who did not?

STAMP TECHNIQUE

Stop

Take a breath

Acknowledge the emotion

Make a different choice

Praise

Other Tools to Manage Difficult Emotions:

• Meditation is when you intentionally set aside time to do something that’s good for you. There are all kinds of meditations.

• Mindfulness is both a general awareness of the world as you go about your day and a formal meditation practice. Meditation and mindfulness overlap in mindfulness meditation, which is one of the most popular types of meditation.

Not about finding an hour (idealization)

Pear Breathing

Sitting Still Like a Frog

Mindful Eating

2.Willingness to experience our feelings and learn what we need

It is crucial to help us notice how we are feeling, understand the feeling and learn that we are not our feelings.

Willingness to Experience our Feelings and learn from them

Feel Great Tools For Learning and Life

Willingness to Experience Our Feelings

• Notice and name the feeling

• Allow yourself to see how this feeling could actually serve you, or benefit you. What can I learn from this feeling?

• Journal about how making this feeling wrong and not having a healthy relationship with it actually impacts your life. How does it impact your choices and behaviors? What is the cost?

• What is an action step you can do this week to embrace this feeling?

What to do when there is too much to do?

Part of the problem is an overarching belief system which creates this thinking that we have to do it all.

I don’t have enough time.

There is too much to do.

I can’t get it all done.

I have to get it all done.

I have to do it all.

This creates a divide

Having it all done

Working hard trying to get itall done

----

Source of many of our frustrations whether in the classroom or our life

Problem with having to do it all

What we do is never enough, feeds devastating energy that we are not good enough that at times every single one of us feels, we don’t like to feel this so we:

• Work harder

• Medicate

• Do things to excess

• Do nothing

We simply can not do it all

Work

Parent

Relationship

Health

Connect back to Purpose

Was that connected to ….

How to let go of having to do it all?

• Meditation

• Mindfulness of the need to do it all, allow it, thank it and allow it to pass just like the weather

•Visualization process

• Prayer

• Stillness, Reflection

• Coaching (inner critic work, building self worth)

• Gratitude that what you have done is enough

• Priortising and scheduling what’s important

Keys to Productivity

Keys to Productivity

1. Input vs. Output

2. Cluster Your time according to Activities

e.g. Lesson planning, emails, phone calls

3. Put the clock on: esp. for little annoying tasks

4. Turn off notifications

5. Serious/ Playfulness see the ridiculous

6. $30000 List

$30000 List

1. Complete to-do list the night before

2. Top 6

3. List from most important to least important

4. Do worst job out of most important

5. Move across undone tasks to following day

To do List?

1. Teach __ lessons (building relationships)

2. Planning and Prep for __ lessons

3.

4.

5.

6.

3.Cultivating Positive Emotions

CALM: Set alarm five minutes earlier and sit up in bed for some meditation/ relaxing/ mind time.

CONFIDENCE: First, look in the mirror and say to yourself, “I am capable and confident.”

OPTIMISM: Brushing your hair, “How am going to learn today?”

GRATITUDE: Brushing your teeth, “What am I grateful for?”

LAUGHTER: What’s funny about this? Happy dance

PLAY PLAY PLAY

Summary

Emotional Intelligence: Managing Emotions

1. Managing Difficult Emotions

• Above and below the line thinking

• Own emotion: STAMP technique

• Mindfulness, Meditation

2. Willingness to Experience Emotions & learn from them

3. Cultivating Positive Emotions

Letting go of mindset of having to do it all

Keys To Productivity

What action step will you commit to this week?

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