The Marmite alphabetacy 15

This chapter focuses on Elphaba who had recently been made a member of the Sisterhood of the silver racoon.

Let’s pay Elphaba a visit. She’s been working hard since she was made a member of the sisterhood of the silver racoon. Ever since she was a child she’s wanted to find a way to reach Christopher Robin, her father who was eaten my Binky the ravenous cowplant when she was only a baby. She thinks magic is the answer.

However, she’s just knee deep in Little Miss Wendolyn dolls.

But when she confronted Laci, her mentor, about the matter she was told that her power wasn’t sufficient for more complex spells- and besides, she was paying off the money the sisterhood spent on her dress and wand. Elphaba couldn’t help but feel that Laci just wanted to keep her busy with pointless tasks for some reason...

Elphie did not take this well. E: How could she say that? I think I’m quite capable of handling a few old spells! Now, spell book, teach me to reach the dead.

SPELLBOOK: WHAT?! The dead! You sick freak. I only do the “make ‘em think they’re a chicken spells”! Take that!E: AAARARRRGGHHHH!

But Elphaba knew a spell book that would have all the answers she needed. The Octavo was being lent to the Sisterhood whilst the Unseen University of Ankh Morpork was being refurbished. It was guarded 24/7 by Laci due to the terrible power of the spells it contained.

E: I have to get to that spell book. But how will I distract that perverted old- wait a second... I have a plan!

Laci: Hey, if this is about the dolls, I’m not budging. E: Oh, of course not! I was being silly. I should respect your awe-inspiring wisdom. I guess I was just nervous around your *gulp* stunning beauty...

L: *laugh* Oh my child, I should be more careful around those who haven’t been exposed to such malevolent radiance. But I thought you were resisting-E: How could I possibly manage such a feat-L: Well I knew you would come round of course. They all do...E:That’s done it. The horny old hag’s fallen for me hook line and sinker. But I wonder if she’ll go along with the next part quite as easily...

E: So... Do you want to...um-L: SURE! You go right up and I’ll follow once I’ve gotten rid of everyone else. The others wouldn’t understand the connection we have.E: Right, connection...I mean, yes...

Don’t panic simmers. Elphaba’s not a hooker. I’m sure she’s got a devious plan.L: Ah, you’re all ready I see. I’ll just take a bath, I still smell of eye of newt. I’ll join you soon...

L: Hubble Bubble toil and trouble, water run and bathtub bubble...

Elphie snuck downstairs without a sound but not before she locked Laci in her bathroom. E: Great Octavo, in the name of Marvelmax-OCTAVO: Oh never mind all that nonsense. What can I do for you? E: Um, teach me how to speak to the dead please.

OCTAVO: Talk to them? What’s the use in that? How would you like to raise them?E: YES! Teach me PLEASE! OCTAVO: Well then, pay attention...

Elphaba raced away to prepare the spell she had learnt. It required complex potion work and would not be ready for 48hours. But never mind, she had Frodo and Fion’s b’day party to go to in order to kill time.

Elphaba didn’t actually see mush of the party because she was in the garden comforting her sister Eeyore who had recently lost her husband Casper. Eeyore had always been...tightly wound but Elphaba was seriously worried about her. It must have been devastating to lose someone she had come to depend on. E: Poor Eeyore. How can I bring back a man I’ve never met when I could bring back Eeyore’s husband and Billie Joe’s father?

This is basically an Elphaba story but it is the twins’ birthday so here they are. Unfortunately I haven’t got their stats to hand.

This is little Fion.

And here’s Frodo. I love them both.

The spell was ready but nerves had kicked in so Elphie got in touch with someone she hadn’t spoken to in a long time.E: God? It’s me Elphaba. I know we don’t always see eye to eye but what I’m about to do is for the sake of my sister and nephew. Please let this work.

E: here goes nothing...

BOOM!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPP

WOOSH!

WHIZZZ!

YE HAW! POP

And it worked! There was Casper. But something wasn’t quite right...

It was hard to recognise him through the dirt and- what the hell was that on his skin?E: Casper? Is it really-He pulled away and began to sob uncontrollably as Elphaba tried to get a better look. Soon, realisation hit Elphie like a handbag of broken bricks. E: What have I done?

Clearly it had been a less than perfect resurrection and Casper was still weeping all day, refusing to leave the house. Casper: Don’t you see I can’t go back to her as this... This... ZOMBIE! I can’t be around the my wife and son. I’m too dangerous!

E: Oh Casper. I got you into this mess and although I don’t know how to put it right I think I know a man who might. At any rate, he’ll be sympathetic to your situation.

Kennedy: Well you’ve got yourself in quite a state this time Miss Elphaba. I’ve never seen such a pathetic looking reanimated corpse and I see LOTS. Caper: Can you help me or not?

K: Well... That depends... How far are you willing to go for this family of yours?C: I’d die for them!K: Oh! Excellent! Let’s get started shall we?

K: how’s that potion coming along Elphaba?C: You can do this. Think of Eeyore and Billie Joe. You can do this...

E: It’s nearly done I think. I hope you know what you’re doing.

K: One big drink. It’ll be easier for us to watch if it happens quickly.

Elphaba felt terrible for her part in all this. Once again, she had tried to help and it had backfired spectacularly. She couldn’t help but wonder if this plan would too.

C: Here goes...There was a dreadful silence as they waited for the potion’s effects. Not a heart was beating as the tension built.Although really, Casper’s a zombie and Kennedy’s a vampire so really Elphaba’s heart was the only one to pause in terror.

They watched in horror as Casper’s knees buckled beneath him. Clutching his throat, he screamed but the potion was already closing his airways and all that was heard was a dry hiss. They had known what was coming but they were unprepared for the reality- well, Elphaba at least.

DIDN’T I COLLECT THIS MAN A WHILE AGO? WAIT A SECOND, THIS CORPSE HAS BEEN FIDDLED WITH. YOU THERE, WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?E: Oh please can’t you help him? It’s my fault... I didn’t think he’d come back like...like this. Can you bring him back as he’s supposed to be? WELL...

I DON’T NORMALLY DO THIS. BUT I’M A REASONABLE ANTHROPOMORPHIC PERSONIFICATION SO...E: I’ll do anything to put this right.WELL IN THAT CASE, I HAVE SOMETHING THAT I NEED YOU TO... TAKE CARE OF FOR ME. A MERE TRIFLE REALLY, PART OF AN...EXPANSION PLAN OF SORTS. IF I BESTOW IT UPON YOU WILL YOU CARE FOR IT FOR AS LONG AS NECESSARY?

E: And you’re not even going to tell me what this thing is?NO.

E: Well I guess I have no choice.EXCELLENT.

The next moment the shadowy spectre had vanished and in his place stood a totally unzombiefied Casper.

C: Thank you so much Elphaba, for everything!

When Elphaba called Eeyore over with news about Casper she insisted that she couldn’t handle talking about it any more. But when her husband stepped out from the kitchen, Eeyore returned to the true side of her self that had vanished in recent times.

Just 2 short days after, Elphie got one hell of a shock.

E: Kennedy? That ‘item’ Death wanted me to look after? It’s here I think.

K: ZOMG. That’s disgusting. So that’s what? The spawn of Death inside you?

E: I guess so. But why would Death want a child and, more importantly, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I can’t be a mother? I’ve still got the Sisterhood of the Silver Racoon after me!

Evidently this was no average pregnancy. Elphaba was pregnant for 2 days before giving birth. She had not told her family about her news.

Elphaba named her daughter Ysabell.

Not a natural mother, Elphaba spent lots of time staring at her daughter thinking: whatdoidowhatdoidowhatdoido?

What’s more, Laci had visited the house and tried to force entry several times. In her heart Elphaba knew that she couldn’t keep this up much longer.

Eventually, Elphie sought her out and confronted her face to face. A vicious row ensued and Laci made it clear that the Sisterhood would not allow her to get away with this treachery. Elphaba had immense raw magical ability for a fledgling witch and they couldn’t risk her joining another order. Plus, she had discovered many of the Sisterhood’s secrets in her short time there and they could not be revealed. On a personal level, Laci was infuriated by her betrayal and rejection.

Laci: Gotham is no longer a safe place for you my pretty. You have power yes, but you cannot compete with the entire sisterhood. You will crumble before us and mark my words, you shall beg for death before the end.

Elphaba realised with a heavy heart that Ysabell lwould be in danger as soon as the Sisterhood found out about her. She could not compete with over a hundred witches lead by a scorned woman like which fury hell hath no. Just as she had begun to become attached to Ysabell she would have to give her up. There was only one person she would trust with her daughter.

Once again, we’ve arrived on a birthday at the main lot. Fiyero’s a child now and looks incredibly like his mother. But that’s not why we’re here. This is Elphaba’s story.

Elendil: Hey Elphaba! Come inside and have some birthday cake! Fiyero would-Elphaba: Lendy, I can’t stay. I have to ask you something.

Elphaba: Know that I wouldn’t ask this of you unless I had to.Elendil: Elphie, what’s going on?

Elendil: Is that a BABY? Is she yours? What’s going on Elphaba?Elphaba:Ysabell’s not safe with me any more; I have to leave and I can’t promise things will work out. Will you look after her?Elendil: Of course but Elphie-

Elphaba: Thanks you so much for this Elendil. You and Daphne will give a better life than she could have with me even if- well good bye.And without answering any of Elendil’s MANY questions she flew off into the night leaving Ysabell in Elendil’s arms.

Fiyero: Who’s that Dad?Elendil: I guess Ysabell is your sister now. She needs us to welcome her here, we can do that can’t we?Fiyero: Well yeah but Dad?Elendil: What son?Fiyero: Mum’s pregnant again.

Well he did wish for a huge family. Thanks for reading everybody! I thought I’d end with a picture of my garden in the snow we had a while ago.