Things we fight about

James 4:1-2

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? 2 You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to

get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage

war to take it away from them.

Reason 1

We forget about a mess called US.

James 4:1-2

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they

come from the evil desires at war within you?

Conflict is inevitable.

Your brother and sister are

not your enemy!

Things we fight about…1. Worship wars. 2. Prolonged minutia meetings. 3. Facility focus. 4. Inwardly focused budget.5. Greater concern about change than the gospel.6. Inordinate demands for pastoral care.7. Program driven. 8. Anger and hostility. 9. Evangelistic apathy.

Thom Rainer: I Am a Church Member (p. 38).

Five reactions to conflict1.Silence.

2.Direct agression.3.Indirect agression.

4.Escape.5.Assertive.

Reason 2

We forget its not about US.

James 4:2

You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it,

so you fight and wage war to take it away from them.

Key Questions1.Who is the church for?2.Who does the church belong to?

Only 15% of kids born after 1980 are

Christians.

(Thom Rainier)

Reason 3

We forget to fight fair.

The objective is not to stop fighting, but to fight fair when

we do fight.

Three tips for conflict resolution: 1.Ask, don't interpret, assume

or take for granted.

2. Pray before. (We end fights like we start them.)

3. Concentrate. Stick to the real problem and stick to one

problem at a time.

Proverbs 18:19 (NLT) An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.

John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.