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ONE OF AMERICA’S TOP 8 SPIRITUAL TRAVEL DESTINATIONS.” — Huffi ngton Post”

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8 To Take Life as Work Maurice Nicoll Change the meaning of your life

10 The Way of the Heart Cynthia Bourgeault There is a path beyond the mind

22 In the Midst of Winter, an Invincible Summer Tracy Cochran Seeing the light when it is darkest

30 How to Reach Where You Already Are Alan Watts New writing from the popular spiritual pioneer

38 The Urge to Create Carol Berry How a washed-up pastor became Vincent van Gogh

42 The Dao of Meaning Dian Duchin Reed How to live rightly and well

48 The Turn of the Dial Susan Ishmael Handling serpents, finding the Lord

56 The Truth of Impermanence Samuel Bercholz What happened after the author went to Hell

60 Viktor Frankl and the Search for Meaning Fran Grace A conversation with Frankl’s grandson and a Frankl family champion

The Search for Meaning

The Search for MeaningPARABOLA

VOLUME 42 NUMBER 1 SPRING 2017

Photo by Dino Reichmuth.Augstmatthorn, Oberried amBrienzersee, Switzerland

66 Laurie Richard Whittaker Meet a man impossible to classify

74 The Dawn’s Heart Star and the Speed of Light Neil Rusch In the African desert, an Aboriginal revelation

82 Life Review and the Search for Meaning Henry Fersko-Weiss Finding meaning at the end of life

90 Impartial Kindness Tcheslaw Tchekhovitch With G.I. Gurdjieff in postwar Paris

94 Towards a Christian Tantra James Hughes Reho In a Turkish cave, a way to God

102 The I Ching and Synchronicity Annette Lowe A Jungian exploration of chance and mystery

112 You Will Find It Waiting for You Oscar Wilde After a fall from the heights, a letter from the depths

BOOK REVIEWS114 In the Beginning Was Love: Contemplative Words of Robert Lax Robert Lax. S.T. Georgiou, editor / reviewed by Richard Whittaker

128 ENDPOINT�

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6 | PARABOLA

EDITOR & PUBLISHER Jeff Zaleski

EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Tracy Cochran

MANAGING EDITOR Alexandra Ashmore

EDITOR-AT-LARGE Lillian Firestone

WEST COAST EDITOR Richard Whittaker

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STORY EDITOR Betsy Cornwell

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VOLUME 42, NO. 1, SPRING 2017

PARABOLA is published by The Society for theStudy of Myth and Tradition. The Board ofDirectors of the Society is as follows:

Stephen Schiff, PresidentRev. James Parks MortonRoger LipseyKenneth Krushel

WHAT IS A PARABOLA?

A parabola is one of the most elegantforms in nature. It is the arc of a thrownball and the curve of a cast fishing line andthe arch of a suspension bridge. A parabola is also the arc of a spiritualquest—seekers leave the known for theunknown, coming home again trans-formed by a new understanding.

Parabolas have an unusual and crucialproperty: as in a parabola-shaped satellitedish, all the beams of energy that strike aparabola’s face converge at a single point.This point is called the focus. Each issue of PARABOLA has its own focus: one of the timeless themes or questions of human existence.

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SPRING 2017 | 7

“BETWEEN STIMULUS AND RESPONSE THERE IS A SPACE,”wrote psychiatrist and neurologist Viktor Frankl in hisunforgettable memoir of his life in a Nazi death camp,

MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING. “In that space is our power to choose ourresponse. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

In this Spring 2017 issue of Parabola, Frankl’s grandson AlexanderVesely explains how the Holocaust survivor found meaning in acts ofgenerosity, describing how Frankl once bought a radio for a strangerbecause he heard the man say he couldn’t afford to buy one, tellingyoung Vesely: “Do I need the extra fifty bucks or would it be moremeaningful if this man had those fifty bucks?” In myriad ways, weexplore how loss—through death or theft or failure or the povertythat can come with being a dedicated artist or spiritual seeker—canopen us to the richness of meaning. As Carl Jung discovered in hisexploration of the I Ching, detailed here in a essay by analyst AnnetteLowe, meaning is opening to relationships beyond causality, to truthsthat call us from unknown depths.

The great paradox known by ancient and Aboriginal peoplesinvoked in this issue is that this sense of existing in the vast space ofthe cosmos can be known in the depths of the human heart. “Putthe mind in the heart,” writes Cynthia Bourgeault here, drawingfrom the PHILOKALIA, a revered spiritual collection from the ChristianEast. The ancient ones of the East and the West knew, as theAboriginal ones still know, that the heart is an organ of subtleperception, intuition, and feeling.

Few knew the oneness of the heart as well as long-timeParabola contributor Huston Smith, who died as this issuewas created. “Whether we realize it or not, simply to be

human is to long for release from mundane existence,” wroteHuston. We at Parabola mourn his passing. May this issue helprelease you from the ordinary workings of stimulus and response,making space for meaning.

—Tracy Cochran

FOCUS From the Editor|

8 | PARABOLA

If a man begins to take life as work, then hiswhole relationship to existence begins tochange, because the meaning of life changesfor him. He sees life in another light, not as anend but as a means, and this enables him….totake what happens in life so that he learns fromlife and all that happens in life and in this waylife becomes his teacher.

—Maurice Nicoll1

1

SPRING 2017 | 9

10 | PARABOLA

PUT THE MIND IN THE HEART.... Put the mind in the heart.... Standbefore the Lord with the mind in the heart.” From page after page inthe PHILOKALIA, that hallowed collection of spiritual writings from the

Christian East, this same refrain emerges. It is striking in both its insistenceand its specificity. Whatever that exalted level of spiritual attainment isconceived to be—whether you call it “salvation,” “enlightenment,”“contemplation,” or “divine union”—this is the inner configuration inwhich it is found. This and no other.

It leaves one wondering what these old spiritual masters actually knewand—if it’s even remotely as precise and anatomically grounded as itsounds—why this knowledge has not factored more prominently incontemporary typologies of consciousness.

Part of the problem as this ancient teaching falls on contemporary ears isthat we will inevitably be hearing it through a modern filter that does notserve it well. In our own times the word “heart” has come to be associatedprimarily with the emotions (as opposed to the mental operations of themind), and so the instruction will be inevitably heard as “get out of yourmind and into your emotions”—which is, alas, pretty close to 180 degreesfrom what the instruction is actually saying.

SPRING 2017 | 11

The Way of the Heart`óåíÜá~=_çìêÖÉ~ìäí

cêçã=íÜÉ=`Üêáëíá~å=ÉëçíÉêáÅ=íê~ÇáíáçåI=~=é~íÜ=ÄÉóçåÇ=íÜÉ=ãáåÇ

Yes, it is certainly true that theheart’s native language is affectivity—perception through deep feelingness.But it may come as a shock tocontemporary seekers to learn thatthe things we nowadays identify withthe feeling life—passion, drama,intensity, compelling emotion—arequalities that in the ancientanatomical treatises were associatednot with the heart but with the liver!They are signs of agitation andturbidity (an excess of bile!) ratherthan authentic feelingness. In fact,they are traditionally seen as theroadblocks to the authentic feeling life,the saboteurs that steal its energy anddistort its true nature.

And so before we can even begin tounlock the wisdom of these ancienttexts, we need to gently set aside ourcontemporary fascination withemotivity as the royal road to spiritualauthenticity and return to the classicunderstanding from which theseteachings emerge, which features theheart in a far more spacious andluminous role.

According to the great wisdomtraditions of the West (Christian, Jewish,Islamic), the heart is first and foremostan organ of spiritual perception. Itsprimary function is to look beyond theobvious, the boundaried surface ofthings, and see into a deeper reality,emerging from some unknownprofundity, which plays lightly upon thesurface of this life without being caught

12 | PARABOLA

there: a world where meaning, insight,and clarity come together in a wholedifferent way. Saint Paul talked aboutthis other kind of perceptivity with theterm “faith” (“Faith is the substance ofthings hoped for, the evidence of thingsnot seen”), but the word “faith” is itselfoften misunderstood by the linear mind.What it really designates is not a leapinginto the dark (as so often misconstrued)but a subtle seeing in the dark, a kind ofspiritual night vision that allows one tosee with inner certainty that the elusivegolden thread glimpsed from withinactually does lead somewhere.

Perhaps the most comprehensivedefinition of this wider spiritualperceptivity is from Kabir

Helminski, a modern Sufi master. Irealize that I quote it in nearly everybook I have written, but I do sobecause it is so fundamental to thewisdom tradition that I have come toknow as the authentic heart ofChristianity. Here it is yet again:

We have subtle subconscious facultieswe are not using. Beyond the limitedanalytic intellect is a vast realm of mindthat includes psychic and extrasensoryabilities; intuition; wisdom; a sense ofunity; aesthetic, qualitative and creativefaculties; and image-forming andsymbolic capacities. Though thesefaculties are many, we give them asingle name with some justification forthey are working best when they are inconcert. They comprise a mind,moreover, in spontaneous connection

This capacity to see from within is explicitly linked to the heart,

and specifically to a “heart of flesh.”

to the cosmic mind. This total mind wecall “heart.”1

“The heart,” Helminski continues,

is the antenna that receives theemanations of subtler levels of existence.The human heart has its proper field offunction beyond the limits of thesuperficial, reactive ego-self. Awakeningthe heart, or the spiritualized mind, is anunlimited process of making the mindmore sensitive, focused, energized, subtle,and refined, of joining it to its cosmicmilieu, the infinity of love.2

Now it may concern some of you thatyou’re hearing Islamic teaching here,not Christian. And it may well be truethat this understanding of the heart as“spiritualized mind”— “the organprepared by God for contemplation”3—has been brought to its subtlest andmost comprehensive articulation in thegreat Islamic Sufi masters. As early as thetenth century, Al-Hakîm al Tirmidhî’smasterful TREATISE ON THE HEART laid thefoundations for an elaborate Sufiunderstanding of the heart as a tripartitephysical, emotional, and spiritual organ.4

On this foundation would gradually risean expansive repertory of spiritualpractices supporting this increasingly“sensitive, focused, energized, subtle,and refined” heart attunement.

But it’s right there in Christianity aswell. Aside from the incomparableOrthodox teachings on Prayer of theHeart collected in the PHILOKALIA, it’scompletely scriptural. Simply open yourBible to the Beatitudes (Matthew 5:8)and read the words straight from Jesushimself: “Blessed are the pure in heart,for they shall see God.”

We will return to what “pure inheart” means in due course. But clearlyJesus had a foundational grasp on the

heart as an organ of spiritual perception,and he had his own highly specificmethod for catalyzing this quantum leapin human consciousness. I have writtenextensively about this in my book THE

WISDOM JESUS, in which I lay out theprinciples of his kenotic (“letting go”)spirituality as a pathway of conscioustransformation leading to nondualawakening. You will see there how thisgoal formed the core of his teaching,hidden in plain sight for twentycenturies now. I will be drawing on thismaterial from time to time as it becomespertinent to our present exploration.For now, the essential point is simply torealize that the teaching on the heart isnot intrinsically an “Islamic” revelation,any more than it is a “Christian” one. Ifanything, its headwaters lie in that greatevolutionary incubator of Judaism, inwhich more and more in those finalcenturies before the Common Era, thegreat Israelite prophets begin to sense anew evolutionary star rising on thehorizon of consciousness. Yahweh isabout to do something new, about to up

SPRING 2017 | 13

the ante in the continuing journey ofmutual self-disclosure that has formedthe basis of the covenant with Israel.The prophet Ezekiel gets it the mostdirectly, as the following words ofrevelation tumble from his mouth,directly from the heart of God:

I will take you from the nations andgather you from all the countries, andbring you into your own land. I willsprinkle clean water upon you, and youshall be clean from all your uncleannesses,and from all your idols I will cleanse you.A new heart I will give you, and a newspirit I will put within you; and I willremove from your body the heart ofstone and give you a heart of flesh. I willput my spirit within you and make youfollow my statutes and be careful to

14 | PARABOLA

observe my ordinances. Then you shalllive in the land I gave to your ancestors,and you shall be my people and I will beyour God. (Ezekiel 36:24–28)

A new interiority is dawning on thehorizon, a new capacity to read thepattern from within: to live thecovenant without a need for externalforms and regulations, simply by livingit from an inner integrity. And for thefirst time in Western history, thiscapacity to see from within is explicitlylinked to the heart, and specifically toa “heart of flesh.”

Without any attempt to end-run themassive theological and historicalparameters that have grown up aroundthis issue, my bare-bones take on Jesus

is that he comes as the “mastercardiologist,” the next in the greatsuccession of Hebrew prophets, to dothat “heart surgery” first announced byEzekiel. And his powerfully original (atleast in terms of anything heretoforeseen in the Semitic lands) method ofawakening heart perceptivity—througha radical nonclinging or “letting go”—will in fact reveal itself as the tie rodconnecting everything I am talkingabout in this book.

DO I REALLY MEAN

THE PHYSICAL HEART?

Not to be naive here, but yes.We are indeed talking aboutthe physical heart, at least

insofar as it furnishes our bodily anchorfor all those wondrous voyages into far-flung spiritual realms.

Again, the Eastern Orthodoxtradition is not in the least equivocalon this point. Lest there be anytendency to hear the word as merelysymbolic of some “innermost essence”of a person, the texts direct usimmediately to the chest, where thesign that prayer is progressing will be apalpable physical warmth:

To stand guard over the heart, to standwith the mind in the heart, to descendfrom the head to the heart—all theseare one and the same thing. The coreof the work lies in concentrating theattention and the standing before theinvisible Lord, not in the head but in

the chest, close to the heart and in theheart. When the divine warmth comes,all this will be clear.5

The following instruction is evenmore specific:

When we read in the writings of theFathers about the place of the heartwhich the mind finds by way of prayer, wemust understand by this the spiritualfaculty that exists in the heart. Placed bythe creator in the upper part of the heart,this spiritual faculty distinguishes thehuman heart from the heart of animals....The intellectual faculty in man’s soul,though spiritual, dwells in the brain, thatis to say in the head: in the same way, thespiritual faculty which we term the spiritof man, though spiritual, dwells in theupper part of the heart, close to the leftnipple of the chest and a little above it.6

While the sheer physicality of thismay make some readers squirm, thecontemporary phenomenologist RobertSardello is another strong advocate for afull inclusion of the physical heart in anyserious consideration of the spiritualityof the heart. When he speaks of theheart, as he makes clear in hisremarkable book SILENCE: THE MYSTERY OF

WHOLENESS, he is always referring to “thephysical organ of the heart,” whichmerits this special consideration preciselybecause “it functions simultaneously as aphysical, psychic, and spiritual organ.”7

It is this seamlessly tripartite nature ofthe heart’s field of activity that bestowsits unusual transformative powers. Whilethere are many spiritual traditions thatfocus on “the heart as the instrument

SPRING 2017 | 15

The heart takes on the subtle individual colors of a person without losing

its essential universality.

through which religious practices takeplace,” Sardello feels that “thesetraditions do not focus on the inherentactivity of the heart, which is already anact of a spiritual nature.”8

To demonstrate what this “inherentlyspiritual nature” of the heart might feellike, Sardello leads his readers on aprofound voyage of discovery into theinner chambers of their own heart.Wielding those two classic tools of innerwork, attention and sensation, heteaches us how to access the heartthrough concentrated sensation (ratherthan visualization or emotion) and therediscover its inherent vibrationalsignature as “pure intimacy...intimacywithout something or someone attachedto that intimacy.”9

I have to say I followed that exerciseseveral times and was astonished by theresults. I had experienced something ofthat “pure intimacy” before, as that sortof golden tenderness that sometimessurrounds a period of Centering Prayer.But never had I experienced it with suchforce or clarity, as a distinct innerbandwidth resonating in perfectsynchrony with (in Kabir Helminski’swords) “its cosmic milieu, the infinity oflove.” No wonder the embodied aspectof heart spirituality is so important! Forit is only through sensation—that is,“attention concentrated in the heart”—that this experience of utter fullness andbelonging becomes accessible.10

Sardello is not the only voice in thefield. There is now a substantial andgrowing body of “bridge literature”linking classic spiritual teachings on theheart with emerging discoveries in thefield of neurobiology. I have alreadymentioned the pioneering work of theHeartMath Institute, but I want to callattention to two other fascinating and

16 | PARABOLA

useful books for the spirituallyadventurous nonspecialist: THE BIOLOGY OF

TRANSCENDENCE by Joseph Chilton Pearce11

and THE SECRET TEACHING OF PLANTS byStephen Harrod Buhner.12 Marshalingconsiderable scientific data in a formateasily accessible to a lay reader, each ofthese books demonstrates howcontemporary science has taken us farbeyond the notion of the heart as amechanical pump to revision it as “anelectromagnetic generator,”13 workingsimultaneously across a range ofvibrational frequencies to perform itsvarious tasks of internal and externalself-regulation and informationexchange. (An “organ of spiritualperception,” after all, can be understoodin this context as simply anelectromagnetic generator picking up

information at far subtler vibrationalbandwidths.) Both books callattention, as does the HeartMathInstitute, to the intricate feedbackloops between heart and brain—almostas if the human being were expresslywired to facilitate this exchange, whichPearce sees as fundamentally betweenthe universal (carried in the heart) andthe particular (carried in the brain). Ashe expresses it, “The heart takes on thesubtle individual colors of a personwithout losing its essential universality.It seems to mediate between ourindividual self and a universal processwhile being representative of thatuniversal process.”14 While such boldstatements may make hard-corescientists writhe, from the spiritual sideof the bridge it is easily

comprehensible and brings additionalconfirmation that “putting the mind inthe heart” is not merely a quaintspiritual metaphor but contains preciseand essential information on thephysiological undergirding ofconscious transformation.

WHAT GETS IN THE WAY?

According to Westernunderstanding, the heart doesnot need to be “grown” or

“evolved.” Every heart is already aperfect holograph of the divine heart,carrying within itself full access to theinformation of the whole. But it doesneed to be purified, as Jesus himselfobserved. In its spiritual capacity, the

SPRING 2017 | 17

heart is fundamentally a homing beacon,allowing us to stay aligned with those“emanations from more subtle levels ofexistence” Helminski refers to, andhence to follow the authentic path ofour own unfolding. But when thesignals get jammed by the interferenceof lower-level noise, then it is no longerable to do its beaconing work.

Unanimously, the Christian wisdomtradition proclaims that the source ofthis lower-level noise is “the passions.”As the PHILOKALIA repeatedly emphasizes,the problem with the passions is thatthey divide the heart.15 A heart that isdivided, pulled this way and that bycompeting inner agendas, is like a wind-tossed sea: unable to reflect on itssurface the clear image of the moon.

Here again is a teaching that tends toset contemporary people’s teeth onedge. I know this from personalexperience, because the issue comes upat nearly every workshop I give. To ourmodern Western way of hearing,“passion” is a good thing: somethingakin to élan vital, the source of ouraliveness and motivation. It is to beencouraged, not discouraged. At arecent workshop I led, a bishopapproached me with some concern andexplained that in his diocese, followingthe recommendations of a churchconsultant, he had managed to boostmorale and productivity by significantpercentages simply by encouraging hisclergy “to follow their passions.”

Well-nigh universally today, thenotion of “passionlessness” (a quality

18 | PARABOLA

eagerly sought after in the ancientteachings of the desert fathers andmothers) equates to “emotionally braindead.” If you take away passion, what isleft?

So once again we have to begin withsome decoding.

If you consult any English dictionary,you will discover that the word“passion” comes from the Latin verbpatior, which means “to suffer” (passio isthe first-person singular). But this stilldoesn’t get us all the way, because theliteral, now largely archaic, meaning ofthe verb “to suffer” (to “undergo orexperience”) is literally to be acted upon.The chief operative here is theinvoluntary and mechanical aspect of thetransaction. And according to thetraditional wisdom teachings, it isprecisely that involuntary andmechanical aspect of being “grabbed”that leads to suffering in the sense ofhow we use the term today. Thus, in theancient insights on which this spiritualteaching rests, passion did not meanélan vital, energy, or aliveness. Itdesignated being stuck, grabbed, andblindly reactive.

This original meaning is clearlyuppermost in the powerful teaching ofthe fourth-century desert fatherEvagrius Ponticus. Sometimes creditedwith being the first spiritual psychologistin the Christian West, Evagriusdeveloped a marvelously subtle teachingon the progressive nature of emotionalentanglement, a teaching that wouldeventually bear fruit in the fully

Today, the notion of “passionlessness” equates to “emotionally brain dead.” If you take away passion, what is left?

articulated doctrine of the seven deadlysins. His core realization was that whenthe first stirrings of what will eventuallybecome full-fledged passionate outburstsappear on the screen of consciousness,they begin as “thoughts”—logismoi, inhis words—streams of associative logicfollowing well-conditioned inner tracks.At first they are merely that—“thought-loops,” mere flotsam on the endlesslymoving river of the mind. But at somepoint a thought-loop will entrain withone’s sense of identity—an emotionalvalue or point of view is suddenly atstake—and then one is hooked. Apassion is born, and the emotions spewforth. Thomas Keating has marvelouslyrepackaged this ancient teaching in hisdiagram of the life cycle of an emotion,16

a core part of his Centering Prayerteaching. This diagram makes clear thatonce the emotion is engaged, once thatsense of “I” locks in, what follows is afull-scale emotional uproar—whichthen, as Father Keating points out,simply drives the syndrome deeper anddeeper into the unconscious, where it

becomes even more involuntary andmechanically triggered.

What breaks the syndrome? ForEvagrius, liberation lies in anincreasingly developed inner capacity tonotice when a thought is beginning to takeon emotional coloration and to nip it inthe bud before it becomes a passion by dis-identifying or disengaging from it. Thisis the essence of the teaching that hasheld sway in our tradition for more thana thousand years.

Now, of course, there are variousways of going about this disengaging.Contemporary psychology has addedthe important qualifier that disengagingis not the same thing as repressing(which is simply sweeping the issueunder the psychological rug) and hasdeveloped important methodologies forallowing people to become consciouslypresent to and “own” the stewfermenting within them. But it mustalso be stated that “owning” does notautomatically entail either “acting out”or verbally “expressing” that emotionaluproar. Rather, the genius of the earliertradition has been to insist that if one

SPRING 2017 | 19

can merely back the identification out—that sense of “me,” stuck to a fixedframe of reference or value—then theenergy being co-opted and squanderedin useless emotional turmoil can berecaptured at a higher level tostrengthen the intensity and clarity ofheart perceptivity. Rather than fuelingthe “reactive ego-self,” the energy canbe “rejoined to its cosmic milieu, theinfinity of love.” And that, essentially,constitutes the goal of purification—atleast as it has been understood in serviceof conscious transformation.

EMOTION VERSUS FEELING

Here again, we have animportant clarificationcontributed by Robert

Sardello. Echoing the classicunderstanding of the Christian Innertradition (I first encountered thisteaching in the Gurdjieff Work),Sardello points out that most of us usethe terms “feeling” and “emotion”interchangeably, as if they are synonyms.They are not. Emotion is technically“stuck” feeling, feeling bound to a fixedpoint of view or fixed reference point.“We are not free in our emotional life,”he points out, since emotion always“occurs quite automatically as a reactionto something that happens to us.”17 Itwould correspond to what Helminskicalls “the heart in service to the reactiveego-self.”

Beyond this limited sphere opens upa vast reservoir of feelingness. Here thecurrents run hard and strong, alwaystinged with a kind of multivalence inwhich the hard-and-fast boundariesdistinguishing one emotion fromanother begin to blend together.

20 | PARABOLA

Happiness is tinged with sadness, grieftouches at its bottomless depths themysterious upwelling of comfort,loneliness is suffused with intimacy, andthe deep ache of yearning for the absentbeloved becomes the paradoxicalsacrament of presence. “For beauty isonly the beginning of a terror we canjust scarcely bear,” observes Rilke, “andthe reason we adore it so is that itserenely disdains to destroy us.”18

Such is the sensation of the heartbeginning to swim in those deeperwaters, awakening to its birthright as anorgan of spiritual perception. And itwould stand to reason, of course, thatthe experience is feeling-ful because thatis the heart’s modus operandi; it gainsinformation by entering the inside ofthings and coming into resonance withthem. But this is feeling of an entirelydifferent order, no longer affixed to apersonal self-center, but flowing inholographic union with that which canalways and only flow, the greatdynamism of love. “Feeling as a form ofknowing”19 becomes the pathway of this

other mode of perceptivity, moreintense, but strangely familiar andeffortless.

The great wager around which theWestern Inner tradition has encamped isthat as one is able to release the heartfrom its enslavement to the passions,this other heart emerges: this “organ ofcontemplation,” of luminous sight andcompassionate action. For what one“sees” and entrains with is none otherthan this higher order of divinecoherence and compassion, which canbe verified as objectively real, butbecomes accessible only when the heartis able to rise to this highest level andassume its cosmically appointedfunction. Then grace upon grace flowsthrough this vibrating reed and on outinto a transfigured world: transfiguredby the very grace of being bathed in thisundivided light.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, forthey shall see God.” In this onesentence, the whole of the teaching isconveyed. What remains is for us tocome to a greater understanding ofhow this purification is actuallyaccomplished: a critical issue on whichChristian tradition is by no meansunanimous. This will be the subject ofour next chapter.

1 Kabir Helminski, LIVING PRESENCE: A SUFI GUIDE TOMINDFULNESS AND THE ESSENTIAL SELF (New York:Tarcher/Perigree Books, 1992), 157. 2 Ibid., 158. 3 Sidney H. Griffith, “Merton, Massignon, and the

Challenge of Islam,” in Rob Barker and GrayHenry, eds., MERTON AND SUFISM: THE UNTOLD STORY(Louisville, KY: Fons Vitae, 1999), 65.4 For extensive bibliographical information on thiswork, see “A Treatise on the Heart,” trans.Nicholas Heer, (ibid., 79–88).5 E. Kadloubovsky and E. M. Palmer, eds., THE ARTOF PRAYER: AN ORTHODOX ANTHOLOGY (London: Faberand Faber, 1966), 194. 6 Ibid., 190. 7 Robert Sardello, SILENCE: THE MYSTERY OF WHOLENESS(Benson, NC: Goldenstone Press, 2006), 82. 8 Ibid. 9 Ibid., 86. 10 No wonder the embodied aspect of heart spiri-tuality is so important! For if Sardello is right here(and my own work confirms that he is), then thestunning conclusion is that there is no lack. Thatprimordial hunger for intimacy and belonging weso frantically project onto others in our attempt tofind fulfillment is fulfilled already, there in the“infinity of love” already residing holographicallyin our own hearts, once we have truly learned toattune to its frequency and trust that with which itreverberates. In this sense, our physical heart is thequintessential “treasure buried in the field.” 11 Joseph Chilton Pearce, THE BIOLOGY OFTRANSCENDENCE:A BLUEPRINT OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT(Rochester, VT: Park Street Place, 2002). 12 Stephen Harrod Buhner, THE SECRET TEACHINGS OFPLANTS: THE INTELLIGENCE OF THE HEART IN THE DIRECTPERCEPTION OF NATURE (Rochester, VT: Bear andCompany, 2004). 13 Ibid., 71. 14 Pearce, 64–65. 15 For a particularly clear and forceful discussion ofthis point, see E. Kadloubovsky and G. E. H.Palmer, trans., UNSEEN WARFARE, trans. E.Kadloubovsky and G. E. H. Palmer (Crestwood,NY: St. Vladimir's Seminary Press, 1987), 241–44.16 Reproduced in Cynthia Bourgeault, CENTERINGPRAYER AND INNER AWAKENING (Cambridge, MA:Cowley Publications, 2004), 136. 17 Sardello, 72. 18 Rainer Maria Rilke, DUINO ELEGIES, trans. J. B.Leishman and Stephen Spender (New York: W. W.Norton & Co., 1939), 21. 19 Sardello, 72.

From THE HEART OF CENTERING PRAYER by CynthiaBourgeault © 2016. Reprinted in arrangementwith Shambhala Publications, Inc. Boulder, CO.

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As one is able to release the heart from its enslavement to the passions,

this other heart emerges: of luminous sight and compassionate action.

22 | PARABOLA

MY DAUGHTER ALEX ONCE PUT HER BIKE out onour Brooklyn street for any stranger to take.She made a sign saying “Free bike! Please

enjoy!” in purple crayon, adding a bold smiley face. Ihelped her carry the bike down the steep steps of ourbrownstone and place it under the streetlight, the signtaped to the seat.

Lying in bed that night, her face shone with happyanticipation. Things appeared and disappeared on thestreet all the time, but it was different being part of it. Ina way, this was what I wanted her to understand:meaning is an action; we make meaning through ouractions. You exist in a web of life: this was the message.You are part of nature and part of the human community.And when you give, you receive something.

A good friend of mine once told me that her fathertook her and the other kids in the family to Coney Islandto look at the rides through a fence. To an adult,observing other people riding the Cyclone or the WonderWheel may have seemed a clever money-saving move,almost as good as the real thing, even preferable: peopledon’t die watching roller coasters. To the children, ofcourse, it wasn’t even close.

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In the Midst of Winter, an Invincible Summerqê~Åó=`çÅÜê~å

cáåÇáåÖ=íÜÉ=äáÖÜí=áå=íÜÉ=Ç~êâÉëí=çÑ=íáãÉë

Some truths must be lived. I knewthis, even though I spent a lot of timereading and thinking about life. Theaspiration, beyond recycling a littlepurple bike with training wheels thatwas outgrown, was to kindle somethingin Alex: an interest in the great exchangethat is always happening in life, a senseof being part of it. I could barely findwords for it, and I was far from being arole model of engagement. I was anover-thinker, an observer. The hope wasthat if all the elements came together,the action in the street, the larger idea,there might be fire.

The next morning Alex clambereddown the steps from her loft bed andflung open the drapes of the bigwindows in the living room. She whirledaround, her face as radiant as if it wasChristmas morning. The bike was gone!We marveled together, although wewere marveling at different things. I wasmarveling at having given birth to achild who seemed to take joy in givingwithout knowing who might benefit,who seemed to delight in being part ofthe dance of life. Incredibly, in spite of

24 | PARABOLA

myown doubts and major flaws, I seemedto have pulled off something amazing.

“Now, when do I get somethingback?” she asked, her big eyes withoutguile. I had no answer. It was as if acurtain was drawn back, revealing ablank wall. Alex was asking profoundquestions, and I shared them: is theuniverse benevolent? How can webegin to understand our relationshipto this life?

“Be patient with all that is unsolvedin your heart,” writes Rilke. “And try tolove the questions themselves. Do notseek the answers, which cannot be givento you because you would not be able tolive them. And the point is to liveeverything. Live the questions.”

The thinking mind hates this kind ofsuggestion. It wants to know. It wantsto lift itself up above our flowing,changing, moment-by-momentexperience, the world of the body andits perceptions and feelings. It wants usto be someone, and it wants life to bepredictable and within our control. Butour Brooklyn neighborhood gentrified,and our brownstone sold to a Wall

Street investor and his young wife, whobrought an architect into our apartmentto discuss massive renovations as I sat atmy desk, trying to work.

We moved to northernWestchester. Alexandragrieved for the life and

diversity of Brooklyn, withdrawinginto the world of HARRY POTTER and THE

LORD OF THE RINGS, spending hoursonline with friends who shared herinterests. I made a stab at gardening,hoping to soothe and ground us inour new life, to bring a happy little kidback to me by bringing her in touchwith the earth.

Stab is the correct word for theeffort I made, brief and blunt. Only if aperson were blind and drunk andworking without tools could they getmuddier than I even when I was justtransplanting a few flowers. Reluctantly,Alex joined me a few times, wanderingoutside wearing rubber boots andpajama bottoms, trailing a trowel as ifshe were joining a chain gang.

Alex complained that everythingabout the digging and the plantingwent slowly. I told her that the workand the pace were the same for ourearliest ancestors, but I knew thiscouldn’t be true. They would havestarved if they had farmed this way.Alex said she didn’t like pretending wewere “back in ancestral times.” I didn’tblame her. We were not our ancestorsand we couldn’t know what they knew.

There are truths that cannot beknown by outside observation, by

superficial efforts, by quick stabs. Whatdrove me to keep trying to teach what Ididn’t understand? I wanted Alex to feelwelcome on the earth. I wanted to teachher to be strong and have hope, but itseemed we were all being swept alongpassively by time and circumstance.

“Hope is not a form of guarantee,”writes the critic John Berger. “It’s aform of energy, and very frequently thatenergy is strongest in circumstances thatare very dark.”

Within the year, a super stormflooded the downstairs and washed thegarden beds away. I ran around thehouse in the middle of the night, on myway to the basement to save boxes ofpictures and diplomas and other items.The seemingly solid ground turned toliquid mud. Some truths can only beexperienced: the ground giving waybeneath our feet is one.

Life is always in movement andalways uncertain. Yet deepertruths are revealed when we need

them; doors open from the inside. Ilearned this one December, in theinternational arrival terminal of JFKairport in New York. It had been a longand difficult trip, and I picturedsnuggling safely into the car and soonmy own warm bed, a returning warrior,battered but enriched by myexperiences. I reached my hand into thebag and that bubble burst. Somewherebetween the baggage claim and the car,my wallet had disappeared.

I took everything out of my bag andexamined the interior, and then I did it

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Some truths can only be experienced: theground giving way beneath our feet is one.

again, unwilling to accept the gapingabsence of something that felt soessential to my sense of security. I cycledthrough the expected reactions: panicand disbelief, the desperate hope thatsome honest citizen had turned thewallet in, then rage and self-blame aboutlittle things, that psychic cuttingtechnique we use to ward off the greaterpain of feeling vulnerable. I picked onlittle details. Why did I stand in such acrowded place to retrieve my suitcase?Why didn’t I wait?

Home from the airport, after aflurry of phone calls, I lay in bed inthe dark, wrestling with the darkangel of the deeper why. Why was I socareless? A chorus of witch-like voiceschimed in: you’ve always been this way.I felt like a blind and wounded giantlurching around breaking thingsinside. Why hadn’t I gone ahead andbought that ridiculously expensivesweater or that expensive scotch orthat age-reversing face cream I saw inthe duty-free shop? It would have

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been better than just losing all thatmoney to dark unseen forces,wouldn’t it? I was in no state toremember the night I had urged Alexto give her little purple bike to theuniverse, but the contrast was crazy.How could I trust in the goodness of life?

In spite of all of our care andprecaution, life is unpredictable andsubject to change. Our sense ofsecurity and control is mostly anillusion. No matter how hard we tryto be safe and achieve and becomesomeone in this world, life isuncertainty, and we are waveringcreatures. There will be unexpectedchanges at the last moment. There willbe loss.

“Security is mostly a superstition,”writes Helen Keller. “It does not existin nature nor do the children of menas a whole experience it. Avoidingdanger is no safer in the long run thanoutright exposure. Life is either adaring adventure, or nothing.”

I lost the wallet during the darkesttime of year in the NorthernHemisphere, days before the WinterSolstice, the day when the North Pole istilted farthest from the sun. Our ancientancestors noted that darkest day,watching the stars and noticing theshortening days, patiently abiding untilone day, they noticed a shift: the darkestday was followed by a little more light.

In Newgrange, in the east of Ireland,there is a mysterious Neolithicmonument, a huge circular mound witha passageway and interior chambers.Tests reveal that it was built in 3200B.C.E., which makes it older than thepyramids in Giza and older thanStonehenge. No one can say exactlywhat it is for, a tomb, a place of rituals.But here is where it gets extraordinary:it was built so that the light of the risingsun on the Winter Solstice, onDecember 21, floods the chamber. Justas the sun rises, sunlight pours throughan opening above the main entrance,shining along the passage and

illuminating a carving of a triple spiralon the front wall.

I have often imagined how it musthave been to gather in that chamber fivethousand years ago, how dark it musthave been before dawn in a world litonly by fire. Why did these ancientancestors undertake such a vast andexacting project? Some researchersspeculate that they were rituallycapturing the sun on the shortest day, asif they were children capable of littlemore than magical thinking. But theengineering and astronomy required tobuild Newgrange refutes this. It is amonument to attention and faith.

Lying in bed the night of the wallet,finally exhausted from all my thinking, Ithought about this extraordinary feat. Itseemed amazing to me that theseancient people could stay open andobserving that way in all weather, goingon being with life without rushing toconclusion. Left to its own devices, theordinary thinking mind tends towardspessimism. The light will never return, it

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tells us; it is always darkest before it ispitch black: that kind of grim prediction.

A shift occurs when the thinkingmind emerges from its self-enclosedisolation and re-enters the worldthrough the perceptions and feelings ofthe body. Most of the time we modernpeople treat the body as if it is littlemore than a mute animal that carries usaround. We dress it and feed it andsometimes buy expensive moisturizer forthe poor thing but mostly it disappointsus, even as it tries to serve us as loyallyas a good dog.

The trip that landed me in JFK hadbeen a visit to my now grown daughterAlex, educated, married, and living inEngland. How do these changeshappen? Often during the trip, I lookedat my jet-lagged face in the mirror,bewildered by what I saw: who was thisolder-looking woman with the vaguelyworried look in her eyes? Most of usfeel we are not enough somehow, notquick enough or somehow substantialenough. Life sweeps us along, and itoften seems there is no solid ground.

In Buddhism, a definition of faith isthe ability to keep our hearts openin the darkness of the unknown.

The root of the word patience is a Latinverb for “suffer,” which in the ancientsense meant to hold, not to grasp butto bear, to tolerate without pushingaway. Being patient doesn’t mean beingpassive. It means being attentive,willing to be available to what ishappening, going on seeing, noticing

28 | PARABOLA

how things change. When we aren’twishing for something to be over, orwhen we aren’t freezing around an ideaabout what it is we are seeing, we seeand hear more. We notice that naturehas cycles, that each day is not the samelength and quality, and that darknesspasses.

We don’t have the same closeconnection to nature that our ancientancestors had but we have the samebodies and hearts and minds, the samecapacity for attention with faith. TheBuddha described the experience ofenlightenment in many different ways,including being forgiven our debts andexperiencing the breaking of a fever. AZen master once explained thatenlightenment happens in smallmoments, many times. These momentstend to come when we stop fightingreality, when we relax and open. Thisstate of opening is also calledliberation, and it often comes in themidst of what we think of as failure andcrushing disappointment.

We each find the deeper truths inour time and own way. We find them aswe learn to observe from the inside. InEngland, my daughter and her husbanddrove me to visit the sets of the HarryPotter films. It was a pilgrimage to amodern Newgrange, a monument tothe work that showed young Alex themagical potential of life, the way thelight gets in no matter how dark. J.K.Rowling, author of the HARRY POTTER

series, once told a graduating class ofHarvard that failure was the bedrock

We make ourselves available to life, openingour hearts...knowing we will blunder and get it wrong but sometimes right.

upon which she built her real life.Failing utterly by worldly standardsgranted her the freedom to strip her lifedown to the essentials, to tell the storyof a lonely boy who, unknown tohimself, was really a wizard.

Lying in bed that night, Iremembered that the Buddha alsobelieved he was a failure. Alone on ariverbank, split off from his yogibrothers, he broke his vows and tookfood offered by a young woman.Nourished by this simple act ofkindness, he remembered a simple timefrom childhood. He had sat alone undera rose apple tree, watching his father andother men from his village plow thefields for spring planting. Peaceful andhappy, with no adults bothering him, hecould be open and attentive to life as itflowed around him.

“Heaven and Earth give themselves,”teaches the twentieth-century JapaneseZen master Kodo Sawaki. “Air, water,plants, animals, and humans givethemselves to each other. It is in thisgiving-themselves-to-each-other that weactually live.”

The boy Buddha also saw insectfamilies tossed about by the plowing andfelt a pang of compassion. He took thisimpression of equanimity, of being opento the flow of life, to joy and sorrow andall that arises, under the Bodhi tree. Thismemory of being kind and humble andselfless, just a little kid sitting under atree, became the bedrock of hisenlightenment.

At about 1 a.m. on the night I lostmy wallet, the iPhone on the bedsidetable lit up. A band of light flashedacross the screen in the dark, a messagefrom my daughter in England. Mom,I’m so sorry this happened to you. In thelight of day and in smooth times, such a

message would be no big deal, nicewords. But that night it was a candle inthe darkness. The eye barely registersthe light of a candle in broad daylightbut on a dark night it can be seen a longway, shining out as a reminder that therewas still warmth and benevolence in theworld, the possibility of companionshipand kindness here in the midst of it all.

I felt a little blip of love andgratitude. I thanked her and anotherlittle message flashed back. It was atrifling exchange, complete withemoticons, yet it felt wiser and morealive than the dire and dramatic racketin my head. Once when she wasyounger, I told my daughter that itwas more important to be kind than tobe right. Now I realized that kindnessis also wise.

Lying in bed in the dark, watchingmy iPhone light up, it dawned on methat the meaning of life, the real purposeof our presence here, is being attentive,being willing to go on seeing andkeeping our hearts open—not just forour sake but for the sake of others. Wemake ourselves available to life, openingour hearts to the passing flow of it,knowing we will blunder and get itwrong but sometimes right. We do thiseven knowing that those hearts willinevitably break because life isuncertainty and change and loss. Butsometimes when we are open, lightfloods the darkest chamber.

“In the midst of winter, I found therewas, within me, an invincible summer.And that makes me happy. For it says thatno matter how hard the world pushesagainst me, within me, there’s somethingstronger, something better, pushing rightback.” – Albert Camus

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30 | PARABOLA

SO, HOW CAN AN INDIVIDUAL REALIZE THAT THEY ARE

THE UNIVERSAL SELF? In what way can a person who isunder the impression that they are a separate individual

enclosed in a bag of skin effectively realize that they areBrahman? This, of course, is a curious question. It proposes ajourney to the place where you already are. Now, it’s true thatyou may not know that you are there, but you are. And if youtake a journey to the place where you are, you will visit manyother places than the place where you are, and perhaps whenyou find through some long experience that all the places yougo to are not the place you wanted to find, it may occur to youthat you were already there in the beginning. And that is theDharma, or “method,” as I prefer to translate the word. That’sthe method that all gurus and spiritual teachers fundamentallyuse. So, they are all tricksters.

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How to Reach Where You Already Are^ä~å=t~ííë=

mêÉîáçìëäó=ìåéìÄäáëÜÉÇ=ÅçããÉåí~êóÑêçã=~=éáçåÉÉê=çÑ=b~ëíJtÉëí=ëéáêáíì~äáíó

Why use trickster as a word todescribe them? Did you know that it’sterribly difficult to surprise yourself onpurpose? Somebody else has to do it foryou, which is why a guru or teacher is sooften necessary. And there are manykinds of gurus, but among human gurusthere are square gurus and beat gurus.Square gurus take you through theregular channels; beat gurus lead you inby means that are very strange indeed—they are rascals. Also, friends can act asgurus. And then there are gurus whoaren’t people, like situations or books.Regardless, the guru’s job is to show theinquirer in some effective way that theyare already what they are looking for.

In Hindu traditions, realizing whoyou really are is called Sadhana, whichmeans “discipline.” Sadhana is the wayof life that is necessary to follow in orderto escape from the illusion that you aremerely a skin encapsulated ego. Sadhanacomprises yoga, which has the Sanskritroot yuj, which means “to join,” and itis from this root that we have theEnglish words yoke, junction, and union.Strictly speaking, yoga means “the stateof union”—the state in which theindividual self, the jivatman, finds that itis ultimately atman. So a yogi issomeone who has realized that union.But normally yoga as a word isn’t usedthat way; it’s normally used to describe apractice of meditation whereby onecomes into the state of union, and inthat sense a yogi is a traveler or seekerwho is on the way to that union. Ofcourse, strictly speaking, there is no

32 | PARABOLA

method to arrive at the place whereyou already are. No amount ofsearching will uncover the self, becauseall searching implies the absence of theself—the big self, the Self with a capitalS. So to seek it is to thrust it away. Andto practice a discipline to attain it is topostpone realization.

There’s a famous Zen story of amonk sitting in meditation. Themaster comes along and asks, “Whatare you doing?” And the monk replies,“Oh, I’m meditating so I can becomea Buddha.” Well, the master sits downnearby, picks up a brick, and startsrubbing it. And the monk asks, “Whatare you doing?” The master says, “Oh,I’m rubbing this brick to make it intoa mirror.” And the monk says, “Noamount of rubbing a brick can turn itinto a mirror.” To which the masterreplies, “And no amount of zazen willturn you into a Buddha.” They don’tlike this story very much in modernday Japan.

Suppose I were to tell you that you,right now, are the great Self— theBrahman. Now, you might feelsomewhat sympathetic to this ideaintellectually, but you don’t really feel it.You’re looking for a way to feel it—apractice for getting there. But you don’treally want to feel it; you’re frightenedof it. So you get this or that practice soyou can put it off, so that you can feelthat you have a long way to go, andmaybe after you’ve suffered enough,then you can realize you are the atman.Why put it off? Because we are brought

We are afraid here and now to see the truth.And if we had the nerve—you know, real

nerve—we’d see it right away.

up in a social scheme that tells us wehave to deserve what we get, and theprice to pay for all good things issuffering. But all of that is merepostponement. We are afraid here andnow to see the truth. And if we had thenerve—you know, real nerve—we’d seeit right away. But that’s when weimmediately feel that we shouldn’t havenerve like that, because it would beawful. After all, we’re supposed to feellike a poor little me who has to workand work and suffer in order to becomesomething far away and great, like aBuddha or Jivanmukta—someone whobecomes liberated.

So you can suffer for it. There areall kinds of ways invented for you todo this. You can discipline yourselfand gain control of your mind and doall sorts of extraordinary things—likedrink water in through your rectumand push a peanut up a mountainwith your nose. There are all sorts ofaccomplishments you can engage in.But they have absolutely nothing todo with the realization of the self.The realization of the selffundamentally depends on coming offit, just as when someone is putting onsome kind of act and we say, “Oh,come off it.” And some people cancome off it—they laugh, because theysuddenly realize they’ve been makinga fool of themselves.

So that’s the job of the trickster—theguru, the teacher—to help you come offit. And to this end, the guru will comeup with all sorts of exercises to get youto come off it. And maybe after you getenough discipline and frustration andsuffering, you’ll finally give it all up andrealize that you were there from thebeginning and there was nothing torealize in the first place. See, the guru is

very clever. They don’t go out on thestreets and preach and tell you that youneed to be converted— they sit downunder a tree and wait. And people startcoming around and bringing theirproblems and propositions to the guru,and the guru answers and challengesyou in whatever way they think isappropriate to your situation. Now, ifyou’ve got a thin shell and your mask iseasily dispatched with, the guru uses theeasy method. They’ll say, “Come off it,Shiva! Stop pretending you’re this guyhere. I know who you are!” But mostpeople won’t respond to that. Mostpeople have very thick shells, so theguru has to invent ways of crackingthose shells.

To understand yoga, you shouldread Patañjali—the Yoga Sutras.There are so many translations,

and I’m not sure which is the best. Thissutra begins, “Now yoga is explained.”That’s the first verse, and thecommentators say that “now” in thiscontext carries the meaning that you’resupposed to know other materialbeforehand. Specifically, you’resupposed to be a civilized human beingbefore you begin yoga—you’resupposed to have been disciplined inArtha, Kama, and Dharma. You’resupposed to have engaged in politics,the arts of sensuality, and justice beforeyou can begin yoga. The next verse is“Yogash chitta vritti nirodha,” whichmeans “Yoga is the cessation ofrevolutions of the mind,” and this canmean many things—stop the waves ofthe mind, attain a perfectly calm mind,stop thinking entirely, or eveneliminate all contents from the mind.How can you do that? Well, the sutragoes on to give you particular steps:

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pranayama, pratyahara, dharana,dhyana, and samadhi.

Pranayama means controlling thebreath, pratyahara refers topreliminary concentration, dharana isa more intense form of concentration,dhyana—the same dhyana from whichthe word Zen comes—meansprofound union between subject andobject, and then there’s samadhi—theattainment of non-dualisticconsciousness. See what’s happeninghere? First, you learn to control yourbreath. And breathing is a verystrange thing, because breathing canbe viewed both as a voluntary andinvoluntary action. You can feel thatyou breathe and yet you can also feelthat breathing breathes you. Andthere are all sorts of fancy ways tobreathe in yoga which are veryamusing to practice, because you canget quite high on them. So this sutrasets you up with all sorts of tricks andif you are bright you may begin torealize some things at this point.

But if you are not very bright,you’ll have to go on to work onconcentration. You learn toconcentrate the mind on one point.Now, this can be an absolutelyfascinating undertaking. Here’s oneway to try it out: find some bright,polished surface—say, on copper orglass or something—and select on itsome reflection of light. Now, look atit and put your eyes out of focus sothat the bright spot appears to befuzzy, like a fuzzy circle. You’ll see adefinite pattern of blur and you’llhave a wonderful time looking at that.Then get your eyes back into focusand look at an intense light and godeep into it, like falling down a funneland at the end of the funnel is this

intense light. Just go in and in an in—it’s a most thrilling experience.

So you’re doing this kind of practicewhen the guru suddenly wakes you up.And they say, “What are you looking atthat light for?” And you stammersomething about wanting realizationbecause we live in a world in which weidentify ourselves with the ego and wetherefore get into trouble and suffer.And the guru asks, “Well, are you afraidof that?” And you respond, “Yes.” Well,then the guru points out to you that allyou’re doing is practicing yoga out offear—you’re just escaping and runningaway. And how far do you think you canget into realization through fear? Sothen you think, “Well, now I’ve got topractice yoga, but not with a fearfulmotive.” And all the while, the guru iswatching you. They’re a highly sensitiveperson, and they know exactly whatyou’re doing—they know exactly whatyour motive is. So they put you onto thekick of getting a pure motive, whichmeans getting a very deep control ofyour emotions. So you try not to haveimpure thoughts. You try and try andmaybe manage to repress as manyimpure thoughts as possible and thenone day the guru asks, “Why are yourepressing your thoughts? What’s yourmotive here?” And then you find outthat you had an impure motive fortrying to have a pure mind. You did itfor the same old reason. From the verybeginning you were afraid, because youwanted to play one-up on the universe.

Eventually you see how crazy yourmind is. It can only go in circles.Everything your mind does to get out ofthe trap puts it more securely in thetrap. Every step toward liberation tiesyou up even more. You started withmolasses in one hand and feathers in the

SPRING 2017 | 35

other, and the guru made you clap yourhands together and then told you topick the feathers off. And the more youtry to do so, the more mess you make.Meanwhile, as you get more and moreinvolved in this curious process, theguru tells you how you’re progressing.“You attained the 8th stage today.Congratulations. Now you only have 56steps remaining.” And when you get tothat 64th stage, the guru knows how tospin it and drag it all out, because youare ever so hopeful that you’ll get thatthing, just as you might win a prize orwin a special job or great distinction andfinally be somebody. That yourmotivation all along, only it’s veryspiritual here. It’s not for worldlyrecognition, but you want to berecognized by the gods and angels—it’sthe same story on a higher level.

So the guru keeps holding out allthese baits and the student keeps takingthe bait. And the guru holds out morebaits until the student gets therealization that they’re just runningaround faster and faster in a squirrelcage. I mean, the student is making anenormous amount of progress, butthey’re not getting anywhere. And thisis how the guru tricks you. The guruimpresses this realization upon you bythese methods until you finally find outthat you—as an ego, as what youordinarily call your mind—are a mess.And you just can’t do this thing. Youcan’t do it by any of the means that have

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been presented to you. You can nowconcentrate, yes, but you discoveryou’ve been concentrating for thewrong reason, and there’s no way ofdoing it for the right reason.

Krishnamurti did this to people. Hewas a very clever guru. And Gurdjieff,too, although he played the same gamein a different way. He made his studentswatch themselves constantly and toldthem to never, never be absentminded.And the Japanese sword teachers do thesame thing. Their first lesson is to alwaysbe alert—constantly— because younever know where or when the attack isgoing to come. Now, do you know whathappens when you try to always be onthe alert? You think about being alert—you’re not alert. And you’re a hopelessprey to the enemy. So the trick is to besimply awake and relaxed. Then all yournerve ends are working and wheneverthe attack comes, you’re ready. Thegreat teachers liken this to a barrel ofwater—the water sits there in the barrel,and as soon as you put a hole in thebarrel the water just falls out. It doesn’thave to think about it. In the same way,when the mind is in a proper state, it isready to respond in any directionwithout any sense of being taut oranxious. And the minute anythinghappens, it’s right there, because itdidn’t have to overcome anything, likecoming back from the oppositedirection to respond to an attack. See, ifyou’re set for the attack to come from

How do you get people to trust life?You have to trick them.

They won’t jump into the water, so you have to throw them in.

over there and it comes from here, youhave to pull back from there and comehere, but by then it’s too late. So sit inthe middle and don’t expect the attackto come from any particular direction.

In yoga, you can be watchful andconcentrated and alert, but all that willever teach you is what not to do—hownot to use the mind. You have to justlet it happen, like going to sleep. Youcan’t try to go to sleep. It’s the samewith digesting your food—you can’ttry to digest your food. And it’s thesame with liberation—you have to letyourself wake up. When you find outthere isn’t any way of forcing it, maybeyou’ll stop forcing it. But most peopledon’t believe this. They say, “Well, thatwon’t work for me. I’m veryunevolved. I’m just poor little me andif I don’t force it nothing willhappen.” I know some people who

think they have to struggle and strainto have a bowel movement—they thinkthey have to work to make it happen.But all of this is based on a lack offaith—not trusting life. How do youget people to trust life? You have totrick them. They won’t jump into thewater, so you have to throw them in.And if they’re very unwilling to bethrown in, they’re going to take divinglessons or read books about diving ordo preliminary exercises or stand at theedge of the diving board and inquirewhich is the right posture untilsomebody comes up from behind andkicks them in the butt to get them inthe water.

Excerpted from OUT OF YOUR MIND: TRICKSTERS,INDEPENDENCE, AND THE COSMIC GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK byAlan Watts. Copyright © 2017 Alan Watts. Preface© 2017 Mark Watts. To be published by SoundsTrue in March 2017.

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In 1879, Vincent van Gogh, with hopes of working as a pastor, lived insqualid conditions as a Protestant missionary among coal miners in theBorinage district of Belgium, until he was dismissed for “undermining thedignity of the priesthood.” A disgraced failure—his father wanted him com-mitted to a lunatic asylum—van Gogh faced an abyss of meaninglessness. Thepassage below details what happened then.–The Editors

ALONE, WITHOUT ANY TIES TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD,Vincent continued to shed the familiar, religious, and

social constraints. Family connections that couldhave led to respectable positions were severed. He eschewedhis brother’s encouraging support. He had received noapproval from religious institutions for his effort to ease theminers’ lives, an effort that had taken a devastating toll on hispersonal health. He was weak and ill and without anysupport. But what he did have was his own humanity and hisfaith—his faith in the ray from on high (Amsterdam, April 3,1878). With that little bit of light shining into his own pit ofhell he maintained a glimmer of hope. In that cold dark placewith nothing to distract him, he finally became aware of alight within his soul, a vital spark—the urge to create. He had

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The Urge to Create`~êçä=_Éêêó

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SPRING 2017 | 39

40 | PARABOLA

always had a latent desire to makesketches and drawings, which hesometimes inserted in his letters. Justbefore entering the Borinage he hadwritten to Theo that he would reallylike to

start making rough sketches of one or theother of the many things one meets along theway, but considering that it would actuallynot take me very far and that it would mostlikely keep me from my real work, it is betterI don’t begin. (Laken, on or aboutNovember 13 or 15 or 16, 1878)

At the time he wrote these words,immersed in coursework required by themissionary training school, he hadsuppressed his longing. But now, in thecramped bedroom of the miner’s hutwith nothing else he could do, he tookup a pencil and began to draw far intothe night, to keep some souvenir and tostrengthen the thoughts raisedinvoluntarily by the aspect of things here(Cuesmes, August 5, 1879).

During the next eight months, by thelight of a flickering candle, while theminer’s children were asleep, Vincentsketched. And slowly his spirits began torise, rekindling at the same time thepassion for all the art that had fed hissoul in the past. He found courage andhope, affirmation and inspiration, in therich store of his remembrances. He hadonce written to Theo how rich art was,and that if one could remember thethings one had seen, one would neverfeel alone. For almost three years he hadlived in a place devoid of art, except forthe few prints Theo had sent him. Butthis long absence from the world ofliterature and art hadn’t dimmed hisappreciation and need for it. On thecontrary, that world had remainedembedded within his consciousness.Vincent’s love for art had made his

suffering bearable. The memory ofartworks had helped him see in thedarkened soot-covered world of theminers glimpses of scenes worthy ofpaintings. He had come to the Borinagewith the ability to see with the eye of anartist. This country was unique,everything speaks, as it were, and is full ofcharacter (Wasmes, December 26,1878). Every moment there is somethingthat moves one intensely (Wasmes,between March 4 and 31, 1879). Whenhe took his walks through thelabyrinthine streets, lined with grimybrick houses on either side, or venturedbeyond the towns where slag pilesobscured the horizon, he was remindedof certain aspects and moods seen ingreat works of art:

There is a place nearby from where one cansee in the distance below a large part of theBorinage, with the chimneys, mountains ofcoal, small workers’ homes, the movingabout of small black figures during the dayjust like in an ant heap, in the far distancedark fir woods with small white workers’cottages in front of them, a couple of littletowers in the distance, an old mill etc.Usually a kind of fog hangs over it all, orthere is the whimsical effect of light anddark because of the shadows caused byclouds that remind one of paintings byRembrandt or Michel or Ruisdael.(Wasmes, on or about June 19, 1879)

The prints that he now hung on thewalls of the miner’s bedroom spurredhim on. He returned to reading thebooks he had with him. And instead ofwriting letters to Theo, he relied ondrawing to strengthen his thoughts andreconnect with all that had given himthe greatest meaning.

Reprinted from Carol Berry’s VINCENT VAN GOGH: HISSPIRITUAL VISION IN LIFE AND ART (2015) by permissionof Orbis Books (www.orbisbooks.com).

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WHO HASN’T WONDERED WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT? Forme, the best pointing-at-the-moon answers can befound in the Dao De Jing, written by the Chinese

sage Laozi 2,500 years ago. I’ve read many translations of thistext over the years, and recently translated it myself, in order tocome as close as possible to its underlying bones.

WEI WU WEI

One of Laozi’s most compelling insights is the conceptof wei wu wei. He’s referring to the kind of effortlessaction that is natural and spontaneous. Literally, wei

wu wei means doing without doing, or action without action,which may sound like a paradox at first. “Those who know,” hesays, “find fulfillment without effort.”1 His advice?

Best to live without controlling,act without expecting,perform well without dwelling on it.

Wei wu wei is akin to Mihaly Csíkszentmihalyi’s concept offlow.2 In an interview with WIRED magazine, Csíkszentmihalyidescribes flow as “being completely involved in an activity forits own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action,movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previousone, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you’reusing your skills to the utmost.”3

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The Dao of Meaningaá~å=aìÅÜáå=oÉÉÇ

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Basically, Laozi’s message is to do—aswell as we can—whatever it is we do.Then we can move on, knowing we’vedone our best:

Behave well, and never mind hiding your tracks.Speak well, and forget about blaming your flaws.Evaluate well, and there’s no need to keep count.

ON THE PATH

When we are practicing wei wuwei, we are on the right path(dao), and the traveling is

easy. Taking any other path amounts togoing against the flow. We find ourselffighting life, and since we’re a part oflife, we can end up working againstourself. As Laozi puts it:

If I took what I know seriously, I would walk on the wide path and only act with respect.

Though the great path runs smoothand safe, people keep stumbling down shadowy byways.

Of course, the first thing that Laozitells his readers is that this path can’t bedescribed. The best he can do is to pointat it. The best we can do is to payattention to his hints.

When we consider ourselves separatefrom others and from nature, we run therisk of falling into what Jiddu

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Krishnamurti calls “the daily, dull,insensitive existence, putting up withour misery, defending, quarreling, ekingout our life until death comes.” Whatwe are seeking, he says, is “a totallydifferent existence, so that there is nodivision between nature and ourselves,between another and ourselves, so thatthere is a heightened, deepened qualityand meaning to life.”

How do we get there?Krishnamurti says, “It can only bebrought about when the observer nolonger makes an effort to change,because he himself is part of what hetries to change. Therefore all actionon the part of the observer ceasestotally, and in this total inaction thereis a quite different action.”

Krishnamurti encourages us to startsimply: “Can I look at a flower by thewayside or in my room without all thethoughts arising, the thought that says,‘It is a rose; I like the smell of it, theperfume,’ and so on and on and on?Can I just observe without the observer?If you have not done this, do it, at thelowest, most simple level. It isn't reallythe lowest level; if you know how to dothat, you have done everything.”4

Or, as Laozi describes it:

Simply do, never mind about performing.Simply engage, never mind about difficulties.Simply taste, and forget about namingthe flavor.

In other words, keep it simple:

The key to giving up—or at least stoppingto question—our judgments about

everything that happens is to realize thatwe don’t have the whole picture.

Every day you walk the path, you subtract something.

Subtract and keep subtractingin order to let things go their own way.

Leave things alone; don’t impose meaning.

When we do this, our goals are notseparate from the goals of thosearound us:

Those who know don’t have endless intentions. They treat other people’s intentions as their own.

DOING WHAT COMES NATURALLY

The key to giving up—or atleast stopping to question—our judgments about

everything that happens is to realizethat we don’t have the whole picture.A car cuts us off on the freeway, andwe’re furious. We learn that it’s driven by a man who’s rushing hiswife to the hospital to give birth, andour fury turns into compassion. Afriend ignores us in the street, andwe’re hurt. We learn that she’s notwearing her glasses, and weunderstand that her vision is the issue, not our friendship. Laozi givesus this reminder:

Best to know that you don’t know.

Not knowing this is a problem.

This may seem to pose a quandary. After all, no one is capableof knowing everything. How, then,are we to act? Fortunately, the answer is simple. The answer is in ourvery nature.

No need to go out the doorto be mindful of the world.

No need to peer through windowsto see the right way to act.

The more you go out, remote and distant, the more you know what’s missing.

That’s why those in the know don’t go anywhere but remain aware

of what’s not visible, yet apparent.Not seeing, they perceive.

Not making things happen, they get results.

The answer, then, lies in subtractingjudgement, trusting our nature, andrelaxing into effortless action:

Ohwe do nothing.And the universe takes care of itself.

TAIJIQUAN AND THE ZEN CIRCLE

That most daoist of Chinesemartial arts, taiji quan, providesa wonderful example of this state

of mind. I perform these graceful stepsin my garden first thing every morning.Over the course of thousands ofmornings, I’ve learned that what’s mostvaluable is the practice of performingone step at a time, with nothing added.The body does what it does, whilethoughts come and go freely, and thesenses process the world. It’s a movingmeditation. It’s wei wu wei in(effortless) action.

Another example of wei wu wei is theenso (or circle) of Zen Buddhistcalligraphy. This evocative circle resultsfrom one or two effortless brushstrokesmade by a hand that’s not seekingperfection.

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In fact, seeking perfection can becounter-productive. “Have no fear ofperfection—you'll never reach it,” saidSalvador Dali. Yet for those of us whokeep reaching for perfection, theaccompanying fear of failure can becrippling. No one can avoid failure, butat the same time, perhaps failure is alsonothing to fear. Here again, Laozi hasgood advice:

According to those who know, problems persist;so, in the end, never mind about problems.

Maybe the real problem lies in thelabeling. What is failure, really? AsThomas A. Edison noted about his ownexperiments, “I have not failed. I've justfound 10,000 ways that won't work.”How different life would be if westopped labeling our experiences. If wesimply lived life instead.

LIVING A MEANINGFUL LIFE

One conclusion to draw is thatit’s more fruitful to live ameaningful life than to try to

describe the meaning of life. Anotherway to put this is that the meaning oflife can be found in how we live our life.The Peace Prayer, for example, describeswhat a meaningful life might look like:

Please,Make me an instrument of your Peace.Where there is hatred, let me sow love;Where there is injury, pardon;Where there is doubt, faith;Where there is despair, hope;

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Where there is darkness, light;Where there is sadness, joy.

Grant that I may not seek so muchTo be consoled as to console,To be understood as to understand,To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive,It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,It is in dying to the self that we are born toeternal life.

Each life is unique, important, a pieceof the puzzle. What each of us does isimportant, and at the same time—onthe scale of the universe—insignificant.In the words of Suzuki Roshi, “What weare doing here is so important, we betternot take it too seriously!”

When not taking things tooseriously, a person can accomplish alot, as Laozi tells us:

Those who know advise taking nothing as important. That way you can accomplish important things.

A bookmark I used to own offeredanother paradox, in beautifulcalligraphy: “There is plenty of time,and each moment counts.”

This particular moment is only oneof an infinite number of moments.Each person alive right now is onlyone of seven billion humans on theplanet. And yet, doesn’t everythingaffect everything else? The single flapof a butterfly’s wings can alter thetiming and path of a hurricane half aworld away. Of course, the butterfly is

How different life would be if we stoppedlabeling our experiences.

If we simply lived life instead.

simply floating around, taking nonotice of how its flapping might affectthe air currents around it, notworrying about the enormity of whatit might be setting in motion.

The takeaway? The more we worry,the more we fear failure, the less we arein touch with our true nature. The storyof Rabbi Zusha is a good example ofthis. His students came to visit him onhis deathbed and found him with tearsin his eyes. Surprised, they asked himwhat was wrong. He replied, “When Idie, I know I won’t be asked why Iwasn’t more like Moses. But I am afraid

that I’ll be asked why I wasn’t more likeZusha.”

Following the path that is truly oursmay very well be the easiest—and thehardest—thing we can do.

1 All quotes from the Dao De Jing are from theauthor’s translation: Laozi, trans. Dian DuchinReed, DAO DE JING: LAOZI’S TIMELESS WISDOM(Soquel: Humanitas Press, 2016).2 Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, FLOW: THE PSYCHOL-OGY OF OPTIMAL EXPERIENCE (New York: Harperand Row, 1990).3 Geirland, John, “Go With The Flow,” interviewwith Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. WIRED , 4.09.September,1996.4 Jiddu Krishnamurti, Second Talk in Saanen,Switzerland, 1966.

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IN EASTERN KENTUCKY IN THE 1970S, roadside snake pits were acommon curiosity.

From Montgomery County to Powell and into Estill, the country roadswound into deep forest and low Appalachian Mountains. We’d watch for thesigns—my sisters and I—hand-painted or stenciled wooden boards with thewords “SNAKES” or sometimes, “REPTILES.” We’d beg our mother tostop. On occasion she would, and we’d run from pit to pit, shrieking in aterror that was only partial play. My memory is hazy when I attempt toconjure the image of the snake pits: the bright green summer leaves of talltrees; my mother, shaking her head and laughing; the snake man, telling us inhis deep holler drawl about each reptile in his charge. I’ve heard that thesepits are still there. Eastern Kentucky teems with venomous snakes. It onlymakes sense that they’re gathered together for a greater purpose.

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The Turn of the Dial: Seeking God in the Fringespìë~å=fëÜã~Éä

And these signs shall follow them that believe: In myname shall they cast out devils; they shall speak withnew tongues. They shall take up serpents; and if theydrink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; theyshall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.Mark 16:17-18

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Growing up, on Wednesday nightsMom would take us to Faith Full GospelChurch. It was a church that was really atwo-story clapboard house out in thecountry, and the services were held inwhat I suppose was the former livingroom. The bathroom had an antiquatedslide lock I never trusted, and youentered and exited the church through aslamming metal kitchen door. I likedgoing to Faith, because sometimes thepreacher would let me shake thetambourine, and there was always a lothappening at once, unlike our Sundaymornings at the First Baptist. Theseservices were all about noise: loud,twangy, and lively hymns, lots ofclapping, a rolling chorus of “PraiseJesus” and “Hallelujah.” There was acertain cadence to the hallelujahs, aflowing out of repetitive sing-songuttered by those with closed eyes andpalms pointing to the ceiling, wristscracked back, arms extended.Hallelujah. The hollering andboisterous singing came first, then thesermon, then lots of swaying and moresinging that was softer than before andmore heartfelt.

At this point, when everyone wassitting down and it seemed time to gohome, someone would stand and beginto speak in a language unknown. Onoccasion that person would be mymother. This was called speaking intongues. This was anointed. This waswhen people would get really excited,and the soliloquy would continue onfor quite a while. I remember straining

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my ears, listening for a pattern to thelanguage. The speaker was alwaysincredibly earnest: this was notintentional trickery. After the speechended, people would singindependently and pray out loud untilsomeone else stood up to translatewhat had been said.

Almost every service had an altarcall, but it wasn’t for the lost so muchas it was for the lame. Our preacherfrequently healed bad backs, and acrowd would surround the injuredperson and lay hands. Laying handsjust meant touching, but “time to layhands” seemed to carry a heavierweight than a simple touch. Thehealing of the bad backs meant thattwo legs, uneven in length, would beprayed over until the shortened leggrew to meet the length of the otherone. This meant the person washealed. I’d never known that so manypeople had legs that were differentlengths, and I’d watch this miracle insincere amazement.

There was a young man in my townwho'd stuck his finger in a live socketas a baby and walked with a limp eversince. He was a photographer, and mymom always told me that he was asmart man and that I wasn’t to judgehim by his gait. I wanted to take himwith us to Faith Full Gospel Church.I wanted to see a miracle that I couldbe certain was real, but mom alwaysshook her head at this suggestion.

“He doesn't believe like webelieve,” she’d explained.

I’d seen enough healings...to know at a young age that people would do just

about anything to get right with the Lord.

“So what? Jesus heals the lame,”I’d answered.

“You have to believe. It’s by yourfaith that you are healed, not justbecause you are in need of healing.”

I couldn’t much argue with that. Iwanted to be faithful. I wanted tobelieve. Who was to say what was amiracle, what was the mind, and whatwas pure hopefulness?

There were never snakes at Faith, andeveryone I knew looked down upon thatkind of lunacy. Yet how many clicks ofthe dial did it take to go from straight-laced and conservative Southern Baptistto miracle-performing charismatic? Howmany more clicks to handling snakes [away of showing faith in God'sprotection against harm]? I didn’t knowanyone who’d admitted to going to asnake-handling church, but I knew theywere out there. Why else would thesnake pits exist? People talked. Thedeeper you went into the mountains ofEastern Kentucky, the more likely it wasyou could find such a church. I’d seenenough healings and heard enoughtongues spoken to know at a young agethat people would do just aboutanything to get right with the Lord.

Gregory James “Jamie” Coots, apreacher I never met, was born twentydays after my own Kentucky birth backin 1971. He died on February 15,2014, from a snakebite during a churchservice at the Full Gospel Tabernacle inJesus Name in Middlesboro, Kentucky.He came from a long line of snake-handling preachers. His son, CodyCoots, 21, was bitten three months afterhis father's death and survived. Theelder Coots starred in a NationalGeographic reality show, SnakeSalvation, and believed fervently that hefollowed God’s will by taking up

serpents. He lost the tip of a fingerfollowing a strike in 1998, and refusedmedical treatment for several bites,including the one that killed him. Eachtime, he had prepared a signed letterrefusing medical care, stating that it wasagainst his religion.

Middlesboro is 140 miles south of myhometown. It’s near the CumberlandGap, where my ancestors came toKentucky from North Carolina viaTennessee almost 250 years ago. I thinkabout Jamie Coots as someone I couldhave gone to school with, or stood nextto playing the tambourine during aWednesday night prayer meeting.According to an Associated Press articleby Travis Loller written after Coots’sdeath, an average of five people a yeardie from handling snakes as a part oftesting their faith, and seven thousandto eight thousand people handle snakesannually. All of these deaths,presumably, occur in the Appalachianregion with known snake-handlingchurches: Alabama, Kentucky,Tennessee, West Virginia, and SouthCarolina. Of these states, it’s only legallyprotected in West Virginia. It’s illegaleverywhere else.

Those who take up serpents believeGod will protect them from harm iftheir faith is strong enough. Most whohandle snakes aren’t bitten, which theytake as a sign of their devotion. Thosewho are bitten often survive, yet manydo not. Handlers, in general, areadamant believers in fate, and subscribeto the notion that God takes eachperson at their designated time. Theycontinue to choose to incorporatesnakes into their worship servicesregardless of the danger or the law.

What is it, deep in these Appalachianhills, that instills such intense religious

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fervor, turning the dial further awayfrom mainstream religion? EasternKentucky is remote, poor, and litteredwith pockets of hopelessness: burnedout single-wide trailers, blastedmountainsides laid waste bymountaintop removal, and the illnessesand drug addictions treated in theregional emergency rooms. Some saythe elevated rate of cancer and earlymortality in Eastern Kentucky is becauseof the environmental destruction andpollution brought by the miningindustry. Drinking tap water isdiscouraged, and public drinkingfountains are sometimes closed. Sludgeand waste from the blastedmountaintops fills the formerly fertilestreams and valleys. Shatteringmountains to expose hidden seams ofcoal is quicker and easier thantraditional, underground mining.

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And yet the people of Kentucky areresilient, and witty, and musical. Theycan also be despondent, cynical, andundereducated. They are hopefulwhen they can be. For the most part,they are fiercely loyal to place andheritage, and concerned that theyounger generation may be movingaway too quickly because of theabsence of jobs. Many who stay turnto the faith of their forefathers forcomfort, and this Old Time Religioncan include the handling of snakes.Sometimes, a traditional Pentecostalchurch or non-denominationalcharismatic church, like the one of myyouth, is enough. There is no doubtthat religious beliefs are held closelyhere. Family Bibles are handed downfor generations and often serve as thebest record of ancestry. Churchleaders are most likely conservative,

passionate, and above all, literal in theirinterpretation of the Bible.

The people of eastern Kentucky aredeeply tied to the land. Because of theremoteness of the region, they often relyon vegetable gardens and family farmsfor subsistence. Many men and womenhunt for food, not for sport, and a largebuck or elk can last the winter withplenty to share. Most of the counties inthe region are dry—meaning no legalalcohol can be purchased there,furthering the proliferation of thestereotypical moonshiner with his ownstill or the bootlegger who runsliquor over the mountains from wetcounties. At one point in the 1980s,the mountains were covered in thebright green leaf of illegal marijuana.Not so much anymore—I’d been toldonce at a nondescript liquor storeoutside of Hazard.

“Pills is cheaper”" the longhairedclerk told me.

“That so,” I answered, unsure if hewas offering to sell me something underthe table to go with my bourbon, or ifhe was just making conversation. “DEAflies over us now,” he said, his hand,held flat, moved between us like anairplane. “They can see the pot. Can'tsee the oxy from the skies though.”

In downtown Mt. Sterling, Kentucky,the First Baptist Church stood at thecorner of Howard Avenue and HighStreet from 1914 to 2000, when thecongregation abandoned the oldbuilding for a new sanctuary near thebypass. My grandparents were marriedin this church, as were my own parents,as was I. Although the shell of the redbrick structure still stands, when thecongregation moved, they stripped thebuilding of its stained glass windowsand, I assume, anything of value. I

found photos of the interior of thechurch at abandonedonline.com: thepew-less space seemed vast and smallsimultaneously. The pipes from theorgan and the peeling golden walls ofthe sanctuary stood in hazy bright lightstreaming through the clear panes thatreplaced the original colorful stainedglass. My childhood rushed to meet me.I’d been baptized here in 1977 andscolded for leaving a service early in1980 because my friend dared me to gocheck the time and I was bored enoughto do so. I’d sung alto in the choir,played hand bells at Christmas, anddressed in scratchy bath towels as ashepherd for a Nativity play. I’d marriedhere in 1995 wearing my mother'swedding dress, feeling very much like achild playing dress up.

This is where I learned to sit withoutwiggling, to doodle on tithingenvelopes, and to stage whisper down apew: “What's for lunch?” We sang fromthe Baptist Hymnal: “Just As I Am,”“Holy, Holy, Holy,” “Amazing Grace.”I learned about Shadrach, Meshach, andAbednego here, about baby Mosesturned loose in a basket in the rushes. Ilearned of Ruth and Naomi, Esther theQueen, and Mary and Martha. BibleDrill leaders taught me how to locatePsalms, or Leviticus, or Romans with aquick flick of the fingers. I alsolearned—in obvious conflict to myWednesday night teachings at Faith FullGospel—that modern-day miracles didnot exist, gifts of the spirit were a thingof olden days, and that above all, properbehavior in church was of the highestvirtue. There were no tambourines atthe First Baptist Church. When thingswould get spirited, an elderly man fromthe back of the sanctuary would bellowa low and loud “Amen.” Beyond that

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occasional outburst, the sermonscontinued dogmatically on, thecongregation sitting primly andcompletely silent. We didn’t even clap.

I knew that although ourWednesday night excursions were not asecret, we weren’t exactly to talk aboutthem openly, either. None of myextended family attended a secondchurch and they remained fully loyal tothe First Baptist, as far as I knew. Yetwe continued, my sisters, my motherand me, to drive out county roadsonce a week for faith healings andjubilance, tongues and tambourines. Itwas like an affair: we were committedto the First Baptist for the long haul,but the allure of Wednesday nightskept us coming back.

In both places—the First Baptist andFaith Full Gospel—one thing that wascertain was the surety of the churchleaders. Neither place gave muchcredence to doubt. How was I to rectifythe two conflicting versions of the sameBible? How was I to discern who wasright and who was wrong? Even on thissmall scale of theological seeking, Ipeppered my mother with questions.What about Presbyterians? Episcopals?Goodness, what of the Catholics? Theknowledge of the existence of Muslimsor Hindus was outside of my worldview,and although I’d heard of Jews, I’dnever actually met one, yet agreed witha nod to feel sympathetic for theirplight. I spent serious time ruminatingon the concept of burning in hell—leaving little time to ponder the fate of aMuslim or Jew. Who would make it toheaven and who would burn for alleternity? And then, what about me? Mysins weighed heavy on my heart. What ifI’d forgotten a sin and hadn’t asked forproper forgiveness? What then? And

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what, pray tell, was I to do about thedrinking of all that moonshine?

If my younger sister and I were towalk downtown, we’d cut through analley between the church and theireducational building. This is how welearned that the Catholic Church wasnever locked, and more than once wetested the doors to sneak inside theirsanctuary to see what we could find.Church interiors were fascinating. FaithFull Gospel’s uncovered windows,creaky hardwood floors, and foldingchairs were in stark contrast to the highgolden walls and gleaming stained glassof the First Baptist. But the Catholicsanctuary was like nothing we’d seenanywhere else. The crucified Jesus,hanging high on the wall and life-sized,bled with an anguished face, spear in theside, nails through palms. My youngersister and I would creep soundlessly, ourmouths agape. All of the crosses we'dever known had been old and woodenand not draped in the body of a bloodyChrist. Beautiful Mary in her blue robelooked serenely passive and accepting ofher fate.

Once, a woman—perhaps a nun—found my sister and I in the sanctuaryand scolded us loudly. We ran forhome, our hearts pounding, our soulsonce again in some sort of jeopardyeven though we weren’t sure ifsneaking around was a real sin or not.We decided that it had to be, becausethe woman had scared us. Shewouldn't have yelled if our intentionsand curiosity had been pure.

The faith of a Catholic was just asforeign to me as a child as the faith of asnake-handler. Up close, I foundCatholicism comforting, if a bit austereand frightening. Their bloody icons hadstunned my sister and me, the same way

the thought of lifting a snake from a pitand holding it toward heaven elicitedshrieks of terror. It was the dial ofreligion turning once again, yet nothinglike snake handling, not at all.

I graduated from high school in 1989and started college before myeighteenth birthday. The greatest luxuryof moving away from home, beyond thelack of a curfew, was my decadent choiceto sleep in on Sunday mornings. I didn’tseek out a church, or join the BaptistStudent Union. I was ready to get awayfrom what I’d come to see as a tediouscommitment to prayer meetings, Sundayschool, and the multitude of choirs.

I married. I moved away. I birthedmy own daughters, and a few years agoI became a Methodist. Slowly, I beganto embrace some of the indoctrinationfrom my childhood as a blessing. Icould answer the theological questionsfrom the mouths of my babes withBiblical authority. I could discern afalse prophet from miles away. I foundthat church could be comforting andreliable and a place for the communityto come together. And I found a wayto turn the dial somewhere closer towhere I felt comfortable with my ownstory and my own path. Not mymother’s or the faith of my childhood,but rather a place I could find comfortand peace within my doubt.

A few summers ago I took mydaughters to Natural Bridge, Kentucky,in Powell County. We drove the roadwhere my sisters and I would shriek atthe snake pits, and my trained eyewatched around each curve for a hand-painted wooden board nailed to a treereading “SNAKE.” I never found it.Instead, I told my girls the stories of thepits and of the churches that liftserpents, and they listened, wide-eyed

and curious. It was as though I werespeaking in tongues: how foreign thismust sound to their ears, and howfamiliar to my own.

I’ve often wondered what mymother was looking for on thecountry road to Faith Full GospelChurch. What did my sister and I seekby trespassing in Catholic spaces?What did I find in the stability androutine of the Southern BaptistChurch? Religion is the road, but thespirit is what takes the journey. Ifound that religion can be bothsomething to cling to and somethingto flee. It can create holy spaces andmisguided teachings and so manyquestions. I learned that to seek Godis perhaps the important part—whether it’s through the Bible or theTorah or the Koran. This belief hasshaped my spirituality far more thanthe strictures of my childhood, orperhaps, because of it.

It took time and distance for me tosee things clearly, and I’m not sure howclearly I see things, even now. Perhapsit’s because each religious influence ofmy youth seemed to be at odds with theothers. I now embrace each person’sspiritual journey as their own, and notmine to question. I’ve found my ownpath, and it’s full of doubt, andquestions, and seeking. Perhaps that’swhy Jamie Coots picked up snakes, heldthem toward the ceiling of his smallchurch in front of his congregation, andprayed for God to show him pureenough in heart to be worthy of love.He had his own questions and doubts,how could he not? And as he died, thevenom clutching his forty-two-year-oldheart and claiming his life, who’s to saythat he wasn’t just as worthy of God'sgrace as any of the rest of us?

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Some years ago, Samuel Bercholz, the founder of Shambhala Publications and a long-time Buddhist practitioner, underwent sextuple coronary bypass surgery. In the after-math of the surgery, he died and, in his words, underwent a horrific “pilgrimage toHell.” The following excerpt from his memoir, A GUIDED TOUR OF HELL, picks up his storyafter returning to life from the Buddhist Hell Realm.

OVER THE DAYS, my body adjusted to the pain, and I wantedto get out of the hospital and recuperate at home. I wasadvised to walk and exercise as much as possible after going

home and to drastically change my dietary habits. The doctorwarned that my spiritual life wasn’t going to be much good if Ididn’t take care of my physical health as well.

The men and women on the nursing staff who helped guide metoward recovery were a band of angelic beings, putting their patients’needs before their own needs and preferences. I have such deepappreciation for their dedication and their willingness to deal sodirectly with messy situations, both physical and emotional.

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The Truth Of Impermanencep~ãìÉä=_ÉêÅÜçäò

^êí=Äó=mÉã~=k~ãÇçä=qÜ~óÉ

tÜ~í=Ü~ééÉåÉÇ=~ÑíÉê=íÜÉ=~ìíÜçê=êÉíìêåÉÇ=Ñêçã=eÉää

Finally the day arrived for me to leavethe hospital. I couldn’t wait. It was 120degrees Fahrenheit outside. Blazing. Iwas wheeled to my car and broughthome. It was going to be hard to do anywalking for rehabilitation with thetemperature so high.

The recovery period at home wasarduous; it was especially difficult toget a normal night’s sleep. I would justcollapse at various times during the dayor night. No position was comfortableto lie or sit or stand in. Everything wastorturous. Outside our air-conditionedhome, it was like an oven. When youopened the front door, you werealmost knocked over by the onslaughtof heat. Ivan took me for daily walksan hour before sunrise since that wasthe coolest part of the day. Strengthcrept back into my body, and graduallythe pain subsided.

The experience of hell seemed farbehind me now, although I knew Iwould never see this world in the sameway again. In spite of that, I wasshocked that my bad habits ofdistraction, time wasting, and pettinessall reasserted themselves with avengeance. Even though I hadwitnessed so vividly the reality of thefour noble truths—the existence ofsuffering, the cause of suffering, thepossibility of the cessation of suffering,and the ways to overcome suffering—it

58 | PARABOLA

was just too easy to return to myhabitual ways. There was nothing todo but just keep practicing with faithand diligence, to burn out theconfusions that obstruct awakening.

After a month, I was well enoughto go to Thinley NorbuRinpoche’s house to join with

him and a small group of his students inan evening meditation session. Rinpochewelcomed me with a big smile and warmgreetings. I was so very happy to betogether with everyone again.

In coming to this part of my story, Ican’t help recalling the unusualcircumstances in which I happened toenter the orbit of Thinley Norbu.Several years after the passing ofChögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, one of mywork colleagues, Brian, asked me if I’dlike to meet his teacher, DodrupchenRinpoche, who was arriving from Asia atBoston’s Logan Airport. I accepted theinvitation, and we went to the airport.The plane was late. Brian became quitenervous at some point and informed methat Thinley Norbu Rinpoche had justentered the terminal. Would I like to beintroduced to him? I said yes. I had readThinley Norbu Rinpoche’s book THE

SMALL GOLDEN KEY and had beenimpressed by its depth.

Rinpoche, accompanied by twoattendants, immediately approached

I told him I was much better.“So soon?”

“Yes, Rinpoche.”“Well, Sam. So you think you are

going to live forever? Again?”

Brian and greeted him. Brianintroduced me, but Rinpoche paid noattention. After some moreconversation, Brian again tried tointroduce us. Rinpoche turned to meand started shouting at the top of hislungs about how stupid and arrogant Iwas, thinking I knew anything abouteither Dharma or “crazy wisdom.” Tosay the least, I was stunned.

Suddenly I remembered instructionsthat Trungpa Rinpoche had given memany years before, on what to do if Iwere ever accosted by a high lama. Atthe time, I thought this a very strangeprospect; why would I ever be accostedby a lama? Nonetheless, I listenedcarefully to Trungpa Rinpoche’s veryspecific instructions about exactly whatto say.

I now remembered this advice andfollowed the instructions to a T. At onceThinley Norbu Rinpoche beganlaughing very hard. He then said,“Okay, okay.”

Dodrupchen Rinpoche finallyarrived and was greeted by everyonethere. One of the ladies attendingThinley Norbu Rinpoche then askedme if I’d like to meet with Rinpocheat the terminal at the opposite end ofthe airport.

I made my way to the far terminaland saw Rinpoche sitting there. Hisdemeanor had changed, and hebeckoned me to sit down next to him.He told me how much he liked theatmosphere of airports; they were likebardos, transitional places where peoplepassed from one place to another. Wewent on to converse about Buddhismand politics. That time together made agreat impression upon me.

Weeks later I went to Europe to doa solitary meditation retreat. At theend of the retreat, I received a letterfrom a close friend, to whom I haddescribed the airport encounter. Heurged me to follow up on thatencounter, telling me that Rinpochewas making me an offer.

After returning to America, I wentto see Thinley Norbu Rinpoche andrequested to become his student. Afterconsidering it for several hours, heagreed. First I visited him on manyoccasions and received teachings fromhim in person and often on thetelephone. His insight and kindnesswere unimaginable. He filled in all theareas that Trungpa Rinpoche hadsuggested I should look into. For atleast fifteen of the twenty-one yearsthat I was Thinley Norbu’s student, Ilived in his community and practicedwith him nearly every evening. I was sofortunate to have the opportunity tostudy under such wondrous teachers.

Now our reunion after my near-deathencounter was full of poignant meaning.

Just as we were about to begin themeditation session, Rinpoche casuallyasked me how I was feeling. I told him Iwas much better.

“So soon?”“Yes, Rinpoche.”“Well, Sam. So you think you are

going to live forever? Again?”Rinpoche had to remind me again of

the truth of impermanence, to makesure. It was a bolt of wisdom-lightningdirected into my reborn heart withexquisite precision.

From THE GUIDED TOUR OF HELL by SamuelBercholz © 2016 Illustrations © 2016 by PemaNamdol Thaye. Reprinted in arrangement withShambhala Publications, Inc. Boulder, CO.

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Viktor Frankl and the Search for Meaning:A Conversation with

Alexander Vesely and Mary Cimiluca

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we arechallenged to change ourselves.”

―Viktor E. Frankl, MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING

Few books of the last century have had a greater impact on our quest formeaning than Viktor Frankl’s MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING. This all-timebestseller was written by a Jewish man who had just lost everything in theHolocaust. When Frankl, emaciated from concentration camps,returned to his beloved Vienna, no one was there to meet him. His motherhad been gassed at Auschwitz. His brother had been killed in anothercamp. His wife, Tilly, had starved to death in the women’s camp atBergen-Bergen. Now, he wondered, what was the point of his life?

“I decided not to commit suicide—at least not before I had reconstructedmy first book, THE DOCTOR AND THE SOUL….” After Frankl finished that book,friends who read it asked him to write another, this time about his experi-ence in the concentration camps. He poured out MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING

in just nine days, weeping in an empty room with windows bombed outfrom the war. Seventy years later, the book remains a classic textbook forcollege students and a guidepost for people all faiths. A nun told me thatMother Teresa encouraged her novitiates to read MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING

as part of their spiritual formation. The book was listed as one of the tenmost influential books in America by the Library of Congress.

As a professor, I have assigned MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING to college studentsfor over twenty years. Reeently I invited Frankl’s grandson AlexanderVesely to screen his film VIKTOR & I at the university. I interviewed himand Mary Cimiluca, Frankl family advisor and CEO of Noetic Films,which produced the movie, for a forthcoming book.

–Fran Grace

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“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: thelast of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude inany given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

―Viktor E. Frankl, MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING

cê~å=dê~ÅÉW Did your grandfather see yourpotential as a filmmaker?^äÉñ~åÇÉê=sÉëÉäóW=He actually gave me myfirst video camera! It’s a funny storyabout a side of him that we all knew.He was a very generous man. Onetime he was in a radio store. Therewas a man in the store asking to seevarious models of radios and theprices. Hearing the prices, the mansaid, “Oh forget it, I can’t afford it.”So my grandfather, standing next tohim, said, “Pick the one you like, I’mgoing to pay for it.” He bought theman a radio, but it wasn’t just to be“nice.” It was for the meaning of it.He said, “I have the money, what’sthe most meaningful place for mymoney to be? Do I need the extrafifty bucks or would it be more

62 | PARABOLA

meaningful if this man had those fifty bucks?”

cdW Frankl shared his money easily? ^sW=To such a point that my parentstold my sister and me not to utteranything that could be bought in hispresence! Not to say, “I’d like this orthat.” Because he would go buy it.There was only one time that Iconsciously broke that rule. I wasfourteen, and video cameras werestarting to come down in price. I said,“It would be really great to have oneof these video cameras.” A few dayslater, as I knew it would, the phonerang and my grandfather said, “TellAlex to come over.” So I went overand he said, “I heard that you need avideo camera and I’m going to make

that happen.” There was a discussionwith my parents, of course. Theyknew what I was doing. But by thattime it was too late! I shot a lot offootage of my grandfather with thatcamera, some of which you see inVIKTOR & I.

cdW Mary, what is your story? j~êó=`áãáäìÅ~W=I read MAN’S SEARCH FOR

MEANING in college in the 1960s and thenI met Viktor Frankl in 1987. But itwasn’t until 2008 that I really “got”Frankl—my life fell out from under me.One after the other, every member ofmy family died. When I thought itcouldn’t get any worse, my best friendwas brutally murdered and I had to goidentify the body. I lost my mind andlanded in a psych ward in D.C. I wasmandated to stay for twenty-one daysand be in the care of a psychiatrist. Hesaid, “I want you to read this book,MAN’S SEARCH FOR MEANING.” I said, “Getout of here with that book, I know allabout that book, it’s not going to saveme now!” But he told me, “Your lifeparallels his and someday you’ll realizeit.” That was true.

He let me out when I wrote up my“business plan” for a new life. At thatpoint, I was safe from suicide. At fifty-eight, I wasn’t fond of change. But, sixweeks later, I had sold my house, movedto a sunny place across the country,knowing no one, sight unseen, to retireat the beach. My feeling of being settledlasted three months. I started todeteriorate, sitting at home crying. It’swhat Frankl calls an “existential

vacuum.” I decided to go back to workin a business I owned that did recordingfor conferences all over world. That’show I met Alex, in 2008.

The work of Frankl for me ispersonal. His work saved my life.

cdW How did Frankl help you recover fromyour breakdown? j`W=We all have to face suffering, andwe have to realize that ours may bedifferent from another’s. Frankl said,“Never compare suffering. Everyonehas their own Auschwitz.” He alwaysput himself on the same level as thosehe encountered.

Frankl gave us three ways to uncovermeaning. “Creative” way—write a book,make a movie, create a business, etc.“Experiential” way—encounter anotherperson, love them in their singularityand uniqueness, or go somewhere thatchanges your life. “Attitudinal” way—this is the path for those who faceunavoidable suffering such as anincurable illness or the death camps. Youcan’t escape the condition, but you canchoose your attitude toward it and fill itwith meaning: an inner triumph. Allthree of these ways helped me touncover the meaning in my life.

cdW What is logotherapy [the school ofexistential therapy developed by Frankl]? ^sW=Logos comes from the Greek word“meaning”; therapy is “healing”:“Healing through meaning.” Franklcreated logotherapy as a youngpsychiatrist working with suicidalpatients, before he was deported to the

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Frankl said, “Never compare suffering. Everyone has their own Auschwitz.”

concentration camps. We are meaning-oriented beings, and we long formeaning. If we struggle, we willbecome better if we find somethingmeaningful that fills what he called the“existential vacuum.”

Although he struggled to have faithin humankind after the war, Franklended up, in logotherapy, affirming atheory of humanity that seeks to elicitthe potential for good and for meaning.He would always assume the best inothers, even those who assumed theworst about him. This is a basis in histheory of logotherapy: to look for thebest in people. He would say, “If youtake a man as he is, you make himworse. If you take a man as he can be,you help him become who he can be,the best version of who he is.” And ofcourse he meant “women” too—heused the language of the time.

He was not interested in the worstversion of anyone and how we cananalyze that. My grandfather focusedin on the “best version” of you andacted as if you were already there. Thishad an uplifting effect on people. Still, he wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t one-sided. I want to be clear that he didn’tdeny the horrors of humanity. Howcould he? He had come out of theworst savagery. He would say: “Afterall, man is that being who inventedthe gas chambers of Auschwitz;however, he is also that being whoentered those gas chambers upright,with the Lord’s Prayer or the ShemaYisrael on his lips.”

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There’s a Hitler and a Mother Teresain all of us, he would say. And it’s apersonal decision which of the twowe’re going to let ourselves become.

cdW What is Frankl’s message to youngpeople, when depression, suicide, and drugoverdoses are at an all-time high? ^sW=He saw it as a prerogative of youthto question the meanings and valueshanded down from previousgenerations. As a youth, mygrandfather questioned the“orthodoxies” of his day. His life waschallenging. But he never gave up onlife. Or on himself. He said that it wasour responsibility to find the meaningin what we face. “We all have a will tomeaning in us.” He said that the “willto pleasure” (Freud) and the “will topower” (Adler) do not define thehuman being. They do not bringhappiness or fulfillment. If you try topursue happiness for its own sake, itwill elude you. Happiness “ensues”when you fulfill something that ismeaningful to you. It is through thatseemingly paradoxical process of“self-transcendence”—forgettingoneself—that real “self-actualization”becomes possible.

The will to meaning is there ineveryone, but sometimes it gets warped.Other things cover it over, and you haveto uncover it. Always—even in old age.My grandfather really started going atage sixty! He started taking flyinglessons when he was sixty-six. He wasalways open to new ways of seeing the

My grandfather emphasized that it’s not about “having what you need to live”

but asking yourself, “What am I living for?”

world and experiencing himself. Theopportunities for meaning are differentat every stage of your life.

Abraham Maslow, in his “hierarchy ofneeds,” said that once basic needs (food,shelter) are met, then the intangiblessuch as love, meaning, and self-actualization can be fulfilled. But mygrandfather disagreed. He told Maslowhow people did not have their “basic”needs met in the concentration camps,but it was the “higher” needs (i.e.,meanings, love, and values) that provedto be much more relevant to theirchance of survival. Maslow revised hisideas and said, “Frankl is right.” Mygrandfather emphasized that it’s notabout “having what you need to live”but asking yourself, “What am I livingfor?” The most affluent societies have alltheir basic needs met, but they lacksomething to live for, and neuroticdisorders tend to increase.

cdW Your grandfather was very popular atAmerican universities. Packedauditoriums. What did he say that strucksuch a chord? ^sW=Frankl said there are three problemsfacing youth. One is aggression, killingand harming each other. Look at all ofthe violence. Then there is depression,to the point of suicide, wanting to die.And the third is addiction, trying toescape from life through pleasure,diversion—drugs, drinking, any kind ofexcessive behavior.

cdW What did he say was the way out ofthese problems?^sW=Meaning orientation. If you havemeaningful tasks to fulfill, you will nothurt yourself. If you see that your lifehas meaning, then you respect that life,you feel a responsibility to preserve it.

First, he said, if you don’t see ameaning, the meaning of the hour is togo find one, seek, be on a quest. Makeit a priority. Then, if you still don’t seeit over a long period of time, andperhaps you are even contemplatingsuicide, then the meaning of the hourbecomes to at least stay alive despitethe apparently meaningless situationjust so that you will still be aroundwhen meaning again becomes visible.There’s never a situation where there isno meaning, if you give it time andlook close enough. Let’s say you aregoing through severe depression andyou can’t go out and search for ameaning. If you commit to stayingalive, you will then be here when yourmeaning is made clear. People whoattempt suicide and survive say theyeventually did find a meaning and areglad they are still alive to live it out.

cdW People criticize Frankl for saying thereis meaning to be found in theconcentration camp. Is that what he said? ^sW=No. That’s a misunderstanding. Hewrote very concisely. He wanted tomake his books as simple as possible, sothat anybody could read them. But thenpeople take an already boiled-downstatement, remove a key phrase and saysomething like, “Your grandfather saidAuschwitz had a meaning too!” That isa distortion of what he said. He said, “Ifyou are confronted with unavoidablesuffering, what can you learn from thesituation? What meaning can we nowsqueeze out of this seeminglymeaningless situation?” He did not saythe situation itself was meaningful. Butmaybe a meaning can be derived byunderstanding what led to theHolocaust, so we have a chance toprevent it from ever happening again.

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ONE OF MY FIRST EXPERIENCES IN SAN FRANCISCO was of beingflagged down by a stranger as I drove toward the intersection ofStanyan and Frederick Streets at the edge of Golden Gate Park. My

friend Malcolm Hall and I, both college students, had driven up the coasthighway from Los Angeles in my 1953 Plymouth. The year was 1965. Wewere headed toward the Haight-Ashbury.

Maybe thirty yards short of the intersection, I saw him standing on thecurb, a disheveled young man, not quite in the hippie mold. He was lookingdirectly at me it seemed, and gesturing emphatically, an incongruous grin onhis face. As the car moved closer, my expression must have revealed myuncertainty because he nodded his head. Yes. It was me he was gesturing to.I turned to Malcolm with a look, “should we?” Malcolm was non-committal. I pulled over.

The young man walked up to us still smiling and, without a word,pointed again. I stared in puzzlement. At this he nodded his head and, toclarify matters, repeated the pointing.

“What do you mean?” I managed to ask. “Donuts!” He said. “Do you guys like donuts?”I saw it then, a donut shop right ahead of us at the intersection. Whatever threat this smiling stranger—maybe five foot eight—might

represent stemmed more from his assault on my sense of social conventionthan anything else. Besides, there were two of us.

The hippie revolution was in full flower and things were going on thatcrossed a lot of boundaries. Wasn’t this, in some basic way, part of the idea? Iparked the car and Malcolm and I walked over to the donut shop with ournew friend. Taking a cue from him, it would seem nothing could have beenmore exciting than getting some glazed donuts and maybe a coffee together,the three of us! This was something I could never have dreamt up on myown, an adventure both too banal and too transgressive at the same time.

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LaurieoáÅÜ~êÇ=tÜáíí~âÉê

jÉÉí=~=ã~å=áãéçëëáÄäÉ=íç=Åä~ëëáÑó

Walking in, we found a booth and satdown, Malcolm and I facing thestranger across the table.

“What’s your name?”“Laurie.”That’s a girl’s name, I couldn’t help

thinking. “How do you spell that?”Laurie just stared at me with his big

smile, and nodded.He had a scraggly beard and his teeth

were uneven.“How do you spell that?” I asked

again.“L-a-u-r-i-e.” The smile remained

along with his direct gaze on us both.He didn’t seem uncomfortable, at least.

“Do you live around here?”An awkward conversation hitched

along for a few minutes and then hesaid, “Let’s get some donuts. Don’t youguys want some?”

“Sure.” I said, getting up. “Can weget you some?”

“Thanks! Maybe some coffee, too,”he said.

I don’t think I’d ever met a streetperson before. In 1965 I’m not surethat phrase had even come into usage.There were tramps and bums and, bythen, beats, beatniks and of course, mostimmediately, hippies. But in Laurie’scase, no categories quite fit. This was asituation I’d have to face without them.

Struggling to relate as we ate ourdonuts, we swapped basicinformation. We told him we were

visiting and would be heading back toLA in a few days. Were we going to passthrough Monterey? he wondered.Could we drop him off there? We toldLaurie we’d check in with him on ourway out of town and he gave us anaddress. The conversation hitchedalong. When it faltered, Laurie just

68 | PARABOLA

looked at us with a silent grin, notmaking small talk to smooth thingsout. When we finished our donuts, Iwas happy to escape.

When the morning came to headback to LA we found the address, aboarded-up house. Approachingcautiously, I pried back a piece ofplywood. “Hey Laurie!” I shoutedinto the shadows. After a couple of tries an answer came back from the shadows and, sure enough,Laurie appeared.

“You guys!” He was not expectingus. We’d awakened him. “Come in,” hesaid. Enough light was coming in hereand there to permit our seeing adilapidated couch, old coffee table and acouple of chairs.

“Wow,” he said, just looking at us.“You guys actually came back.” Whatroutines of betrayal put our simple act insuch a light? I couldn’t help wondering.

“Do you guys want to listen to someof my songs?”

“What about Monterey?” I asked.No, he couldn’t go down there today.But did we want to hear some ofhis music?

Where I come from, you don’trefuse certain things and this seemedlike one of those moments. Lauriedisappeared and returned with an oldacoustic guitar. His singing wasn’t sogood. That was my first reaction, butI listened and then something elsecame in; it’s what I remember most.

He finished his song and said, “I'vegot a tape of more of my songs.”Reaching for a beat up tape player, hesaid, “Hey, wait here. I’ll be rightback,” and disappeared into thedarkness of the abandoned house.

Malcolm and I sat listening to thetape player and its tiny speaker. Yes,

the same quality I’d heard before wascoming through it, too. If I had topick one word for it, it would besomething like heartbreaking.

My encounter with Laurie, as briefas it was, left unforgettableimpressions. Moreover, by a twist offate, it was not the last I’d see of him.In fact, it was just the beginning.

THREE YEARS LATER

By 1968 I’d lived in San Franciscofor two years and had recentlymoved in with a woman I’d

fallen in love with. In North Beach,she’d cut quite a figure. Besides beingtall and beautiful, she’d become a bit ofa celebrity among the locals. One of thecharacters Karen had become friendswith was named Laurie Seagel.

“You know Laurie?” I asked inastonishment. “Laurie Seagel?”

Karen and I lived at the top of VallejoStreet on Telegraph Hill and I began torun into Laurie regularly. Sometimes wehad Laurie over fordinner along withstreet poet JohnnyWoodrose, who I’dmet while running apoetry program inthe basement of achurch near HaightSt. Before my moveto North Beach I’doccasionally seenLaurie at freeconcerts in GoldenGate Park whereThe JeffersonAirplane, BuffaloSpringfield and BigBrother and the

Holding Company with Janis Joplinoften performed for free. Lauriesometimes jumped up on stage andtried to grab a mike to join in onharmonica. His harmonica playingwasn’t any better than his guitarplaying, but he seemed unfazed bysuch considerations. He’d always getushered off the stage, but I couldn’thelp noticing that the band membersall seemed to know Laurie and neverseemed much upset with his antics.

A longer account of my friendshipwith Laurie is for another time. But hisfreedom from worry about what othersmight think is one of his qualities Iremember most clearly. It wassomething I witnessed time and again inmany different ways. Perhaps this qualitystruck me so much because of my ownlack in that regard. There were manyother things I learned about him thatsurprised me. He’d been a giftedphilosophy student at StanfordUniversity and related amazing storiesabout his time spent with GregoryBateson’s family, Richard Alpert and

others.From time to time,

Laurie would saysomething with astrong inflection ofZen. I rememberasking him about it.Yes, he used to lovebeing around SuzukiRoshi, the head of theSan Francisco ZenCenter. He told meabout having a mealthere one day. Themonks were having asilent lunch and hemanaged to join thegroup, but Laurie

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wasn’t interested in keeping thesilence. He kept attemptingconversation with the monks sitting attable with him. Finally one of themonks complained. “If he’s going totalk, why can’t the rest of us?” Suzukireplied, “For Laurie, it’s allowed.”

Laurie was a man impossible to classify.

Given his talents, whateverobstacles stood in the way ofconventional success must have

been powerful. But the most obviousproblem he faced was addiction. He’dbeen shooting up amphetamines at leastsince I’d first met him in 1965. He’dsuffered from hepatitis at least once ifnot two or three times. Listening to hisstories, I learned that he’d been arrestedseveral times, too. He’d been severelybeaten at least once while in jail byanother inmate and had also beenbeaten more than once by police. Hewent through difficult times, but wasalways far more dangerous to himselfthan to anyone else. By 1968 the yearsof physical abuse were showing up inmental as well as physical symptoms.Laurie’s future appeared grim indeed.

Then one day, I got a call fromLaurie. He’d been in Napa StateHospital detoxing and now was out.Somehow he’d managed to get anairline ticket to Israel. “It’s my lastchance,” he told me. Could he borrow asleeping bag to take with him?

I wondered if it was a flight of fancy,but a few days later, Laurie showed upat the door. I handed over the sleepingbag, we embraced, and I wished him thebest of luck.

Laurie did go to Israel. He joined aKibbutz. A year later, I got a letter fromhim. He had married a beautiful Israeli,

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Talilah. He’d become a social worker.Why didn’t I come over and visit? As thenext few years passed, I got moremessages. First there was one child,Hadar, then Sagi then a third. I haveforgotten the name.

Then a few years later, I got a callfrom Talila. Laurie had died from liverfailure. She told me a story aboutLaurie’s social work in Israel. She toldme how hard it was, the low pay. Heworked with addicts and others, and wasmuch loved, she said. People thought hehad mysterious powers. She told me of awoman who wanted to have children.She had tried everything. No luck. Butone day Laurie met with her and heldher hand. “You are going to havechildren,” he told her. “Don’t worry.”Shortly thereafter, Talilah told me, thewoman conceived. She did have a child.

I don’t remember exactly whenLaurie gave me a copy of a manuscripthe’d written, ALL MEN SHALL BE GODS, but Istill have it. For years, I’ve wanted topublish a particular section from it, aremarkable account of an experiment inliving he carried out in San Francisco inthe early 1960s before he fell under thesway of amphetamines. I feel compelledto underline how striking I find thissingular inquiry to have been. It’s anontological adventure that could easilyhave remained untold and I’m grateful,finally, to be able to share it with others.Here is that excerpt:

Laurie Seagel writes: I decided to try to find out what were

man’s basic needs. I would live withoutmost things I was accustomed to and seewhat it would be like. I decided to giveup words; I would only say “yes,” “yes”to every question, nothing more, a nodof the head would usually suffice. I

would give up things; sandals, a thinshirt and a thin pair of pants would beenough. I knew I could adjust totemperatures in San Francisco throughbodily relaxation. The fewer clothes thebetter; I would worry about changingwhen the need arose. Nothing in mypockets, nothing, no money, noidentification, nothing. And no place. Iwould break the habit of thinking“where” and “where to?” All placeswould be equal. I would try to learn tobe comfortable anywhere.

I hid a sleeping bag in the bushesnear Coit Tower, the highest point onTelegraph Hill, though I ended upsleeping in it only once. The rest of mybelongings I hauled over to the familyhome in Oakland.

Usually, I wore a hat pulled downlow. I sat, relaxed my body, andwatched, or listened—looked andlistened. I sat in Cassandra’s, in theCoffee Gallery, the Bagel Shop, ThePlace—these were the main gatheringspots for people I knew. There was also

the Cellar Jazz Club, evenings. Still latersome nights after the Cellar closed, wesojourned across town to the BlackFillmore district where jazz was playeduntil early morning at Jimbo’s Bop City.Or I’d go off by myself, as most of theothers went home.

When Cassandra’s closed, I’d crossthe street where a small cafe was goodfor a short stop. The small hours of themorning, three to five, I’d spend in avariety of regular ways. Lying amongthe empty bins in the Italian bakery onGrant just above Green, I watched thebakers working, kneading, arranging,shoving the long rows of loaves into thegreat oven—rhythm, movement, fireand quiet Italian talk. I enjoyed thewarmth and the smell, enjoyed watchingthem work, like a dance it was—andthey always welcomed me. I was aspectator whose enjoyment in watchingthem heightened their own enjoymentin the work. Invariably one of themwould thrust a fresh loaf of bread uponme when I rose to leave.

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Another activity for three to five inthe morning was walking through thebustling, bright and raucous producemarket located then at easy walkingdistance from North Beach. My eyesdelighted in the colors of the fruits andvegetables, and I felt energy from thesurging of the men and their machines,the helter-skelter of it all. Here too,people got used to seeing me amongthem. I was always silent and happy,smiling from the delight my eyes werebeholding. I was joyous watching thebeauty of existence. Here in the producemarket people called me “wolf-man,” Isuppose because my hair was long andshaggy, but they always acted toward mewith friendliness and offered me fruit,which I ate.

When I was especially tired, duringthese pre-dawn hours and at other timesalso, I went into rhythmical walking,sometimes for long distances aroundSan Francisco, long rhythmical strides,arms swinging. The action sort ofturned me on, got me high, rested me.

Every day, before the sun rose, Iclimbed to the top of Telegraph Hillsomewhere alongside of Coit Tower, tosit and meditate. From my spot, all thesounds of the bay down below me in anarc left, right and center rose up directly,undisturbed by any edifice. I sat, relaxeddeeply, deeply, and listened, watched.The sounds of the ships, of the city, ofthe birds were pleasant to me. I enjoyedthem every day, day after day, for hoursat a time. When I began hearing thecoarser hum of human voices—touristsappeared about nine in the morning tolook out on the bay—I lay down whereI was and slept for a few hours. I likedsleeping in the sun.

When I awoke, I usually went toWashington Square Park, or down

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through Fisherman’s Wharf to AquaticPark. On the grass of WashingtonSquare, or the sand of Aquatic Park, I’dcatch some more sleep in the sun,sometimes swim in the bay at AquaticPark, eat raw fish at the wharf, or Iwould sit and watch, listen, or betogether with friends— “beatniks” wewere beginning to be called afterChronicle columnist Herb Caen puttogether Kerouac’s “beat” with the“nik” from the Russian “Sputnik.”

Looking and listening were for meways of quieting my mind, teaching it tonot think, breaking habits of thoughtlike: what to do? where to go? But afterawhile, looking and listening becamesomething much more: I came to seeand to hear the world, existence, moreand more acutely. The more I watchedand listened, the more I saw and heard,more keenly, more distinctly.

Every day I gained more and morepleasure from this listening and looking,always seeing and hearing more clearly.As time went on, I appreciated howglorious and beautiful existence is,living. I saw how busy, preoccupiedwere most people with doing, making.Existence was already so much to enjoy,so grand and lovely, so exquisite. Just tosee, to hear the sights and sounds thatwere there made me happy anddelighted. I was truly happy and atpeace. Everywhere. All the time.

Throughout those eight months, or ayear—I’m not sure exactly how manymonths went by—I had not the slightestinkling of trouble of any kind. The twopolicemen on the beat, when theypassed me they said, “Hi Laurie,” andthat was that. I did what I wanted, whenI wanted to, sometimes with others, butmost often alone. I roamed freely, dranklots of water, ate enough somehow and

was always serene in enjoyment of thebeauty of all I saw unfolding before me,day into night, night again into day: thewarmth of the sun, the cool breezes, thefog, the wind, the sea, sky and stars,trees, flowers, children playing, oldpeople, young mothers with theirchildren, the Chinese, the Italians, theFrench, the Basque.

My attention became so keen I saw incrowded coffee shops and meetingplaces, how people’s bodies reacted toeach other’s without their consciouslyknowing it.

When I sat at a live jazz session, myhearing was so sharp, it was like whatpoets call “a sensitive ear in theaudience.” I would hear each particularinstrument, separately. The musicianstold me that when I listened, theybegan to hear themselves moredistinctly, then each heard the other,and the music grew in intensity andthose jam sessions were reallysomething else… at the Cellar, and onweekends, at the Coffee Gallery.

It was all a part of that communityspirit which existed, the spirit that bothallowed me to be on “this trip” and tolive freely in the midst of it. The life ofNorth Beach nourished me, fed myspirit and my body. It was fun to be withthis happy throng, to share with themthe sounds of talk, laughter, music,nature, the clanging of the cable carbell, the sound of the seagulls, Sonny’ssaxophone, Max’s bass fiddle, BillWiesjon’s piano, Chuck Taylor’s drums.

What are the basic needs of man?What did I learn during this time? Ilived very contentedly on almostnothing. I required little sleep and littlefood. I drank water copiously, hadabundant sunshine, walked and rantremendous amounts, meditated, rested

much, did not feel the need for sex,though I enjoyed frequent humancompanionship, or at least proximity.

I came to regard my needs as so scantthat you could say that what you need iswhat you want. Air, water, rest, exercise,a little food, this is all I seemed to need.

I did have an acute sense ofsomething like regret or sorrow thatother people were not enjoyingexistence as much as I was then. If onlythey could sit more quietly and look,listen, feel. I felt that people could livebetter that way and that society wouldbe better, life would be better that way.But I didn’t talk. I didn’t think I couldstart talking and somehow teach peopleto be that way, change the world.

When I finally did decide to end thisperiod, I just hoped that somehow,some way, I could express what I hadexperienced and learned and somehowbring some of it back into existence, atleast into my own existence, and perhapsfor others as well…. .

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The Dawn’s Heart Star and the Speed of Light kÉáä=oìëÅÜ

^ÄçêáÖáå~ä=ïáëÇçã=~åÇ=~Çî~åÅÉÇ=éÜóëáÅë=ãÉÉí=áåíÜÉ=h~êçç=çÑ=pçìíÜ=^ÑêáÅ~

IN PHYSICS THERE IS ONE DEFINING CONSTANT—299,792,458 meters persecond. It is the speed of light.

Galileo Galilei (1564–1642), observing the moons of Jupiter,accidentally—because he was attempting to find a measure of time that wouldsolve the problem of longitude—set in motion a line of investigation that wasresolved by the Danish astronomer Ole Roemer (1644–1710), who establishedthe speed of light sixty-six years later using, as the basis of his calculations, themoons of Jupiter (rightly called Jovian, or Galilean, satellites). What began as aninquiry attempting to solve a problem of navigation (thrown out because deemedimpractical for use at sea) has had profound consequences for cosmology.

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Light is the most rapid meansthrough which one part of the universecan relay an impression, through space,to another. Light thus considered movesus into deep time, a measure of which isthe speed of light. There is, however,another way of apprehending andmeasuring time, and this derives fromthe inconstancy of light. Light changesand shifts in cycles yielding days andnights; spring, summer, autumn,winter—the seasons; years. The diurnalnature of light generates and animatesorganic life on earth. By this account,light motivates change and process,while on the other hand, light speed, asa constant, is unchanging and eternal,although paradoxically in motion.Light’s dual nature—constant butshifting—impinges on us, and we livethe contradiction of being in one placeat two times; both times in the sameplace: one world, two modes ofapprehension, timely and timeless.

BY THE LIGHT OF TWO

COSMOLOGIES

The light that is received from theGalilean satellites informs twocosmologies; the one, a Western

motivated scientific story, and the otheran inspired narrative specific to the|xam-speaking San people who inhabited

the centralKaroo, a placeknown to themas |xam-ka !au(dust of the|xam). What is

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remarkable is that it requiresexceptional eyesight to see theDawn’s Heart Child (as they callJupiter’s satellites) with naked-eyeobservation.1 Very few people canachieve this; however, it was possiblefor the |xam, assisted by semi-desertatmospherics, such that the Dawn’sHeart Star story was pervasive andpersuasive in |xam cosmology. Here isthe |xam story-teller ‖kabboreporting the Dawn’s Heart Starspeaking to his heart, the Dawn’sHeart Child. The narrative in itsentirety fills three-hundred notebookpages and took five months to dictateand record. The extract provides avivid description of the Galileansatellites orbiting Jupiter, in additionto being a story about the Dawn’sHeart Star.

You are the Dawn’s Heart Child, a star. Iam your father, a star. And so I bury youas a star.You are my heart. I made a child with myheart and so swallow you.I walk with you. When you grow I spityou out from my mouth.You go from me and I walk behind.

MARGINAL BUT MEANINGFUL

TERRITORY

Karoo is a KhoeSan word thatdescribes a region in southern Africa. Itis both biome—“the place of greatdryness”—and geological system.Additionally, it is a landscape saturatedwith meaning.2 The cosmology andknowledge of the |xam San people isrecognized as especially valuable and is

Most of the universe is not in the stars andgalaxies. It’s in what we can’t see.

included in UNESCO’s Memory ofthe World-Register for DocumentaryHeritage.3

The Karoo does not only haveexceptional atmospherics and aunique mythology of globalsignificance, it has exceptionalacoustics as well. Elsewhere, there isanother location with similarcharacteristics; the desert region nearthe Murchison Range in WesternAustralia, an area inhabited byAboriginal people for millennia. Ahuge telescope is presently underconstruction in both places because ofthe aforesaid reasons. Known as theSquare Kilometre Array (SKA) radioastronomy project, this telescope,when completed, will be the world’sbiggest telescope anywhere, and willbe capable of “seeing” further back intime than any other telescope. TheSKA is a global project supported bytwenty-two countries and involving122 international institutions. It isthe largest terrestrial scienceexperiment ever undertaken (spaceprograms excluded).

WHAT ARE WE LISTENING FOR?

Radio astronomy took off in the1940s. The curved lens of anoptical telescope captures and

magnifies frequencies of visible light.The curved dish antennae of a radiotelescope, in contrast, receive andamplify discrete wavelengths—“signalsof invisible radiation”—that are beyondthe visual and auditory range of humansight and hearing. Russ Taylor was anearly convert. Since its inception, in theearly 1990s, he has been with the SKAproject and is one of the chief architects.He explains radio astronomy like this:“We realized in spite of all thediscoveries and advances in astronomythat we actually still knew very littleabout the universe. The light that wecould see with our optical telescopes wasin fact a small fraction of what theuniverse is made of. The real mysteriesof the nature of the universe are not inthe places we see light, but in the darkregions between the stars and thegalaxies, the stuff we call dark matter.Most of the universe is not in the stars

and galaxies. It’s in whatwe can’t see.”

The intellectualbackground to the aboveposits two forces:expansion and collapse,which are bound indynamic interaction (thirdforce). Matter mustcollapse from primordialclouds of hydrogen andcondense to form starsand planets. “This is adynamic struggle,” Taylorsays, “between thegravitational force ofcollapse and forces that

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oppose collapse; swirling motions,explosions and magnetic fields. Themost puzzling of mysteries is that 96%of what makes up the universe is an‘essence,’ which is the dark matter,revealed by the effect of its gravity onthe visible universe. Most of it is a formof pure energy spread throughout theuniverse. This ‘dark energy’ is the realfabric of space and time. Its propertiesare unknown, but they determine theultimate fate of the universe.”

The SKA objectives are ambitious.Discoveries in radio astronomy haveearned Nobel Prizes. Twice in mypresence Taylor has said that furtherNobel Prizes will be awarded when thedata from the SKA becomes availableand when scientists and astronomerssubject that data to analysis. “Theanswer to our biggest science questionswill be in this data: life, the universe andeverything.” The SKA will be the largestdata producer in the world when fullyoperational. Equally huge amounts ofmoney are being invested in developingnew technologies and computingsystems in order to process big data.The Inter-University Institute for DataIntensive Astronomy (IDIA) waslaunched in September 2015, and willoversee this important aspect of theproject. Teams, institutions, andnetworks of people will be involved. Thenarrative that tells the story of thecosmos will in future not have anindividual author or a singular voice. Ifthere are Nobel Prizes in the offing,these will be awarded to multiplecollaborators, not individuals. In thisrespect the SKA will advance newmethods of doing science, which willsurpass conventional systems ofknowledge production. Cosmology, aswe know it, is bound to change and our

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orientation in the universe is liable toshift as a result.

AN INVARIANT UNIVERSE

Upon scrutiny, Galileo’s visionreveals his striving, which aimsfor meaning that is objective,

pure, and abstract.

Philosophy is written in this grand book,the universe, which stands continuallyopen to our gaze, but the book cannot beunderstood unless one first learns tocomprehend the language and read theletters in which it is composed. It iswritten in a language of mathematics, andits characters are triangles, circles andother geometric figures without which itis humanly impossible to understand asingle word of it; without these, onewanders about in a dark labyrinth.4

In pursuit of invariance and perfectforms, Galileo’s vision cannot but finddistracting and problematic variabilityand change. In the extreme there is noplace for process, paradox, andcontradiction. Meaning resides in

absolutes and pure forms (Plato’s eidos)that have an exclusively timelessderivation. Galileo’s conception of theuniverse finds its apogee in Descartes’dualism, which by any measure is harsh,since it places thought outside thephysical realm. In their cognitiveframing of the world, Descartes, andGalileo before him, are light-years awayfrom the Dawn’s Heart Star. Animalsare denied consciousness, for example,and are deemed to be without reason(Cogito ergo sum), and thus arerelegated to the category of automata.Progress in science and technologythrough the seventeenth andeighteenth centuries advanced thehegemony of a philosophy ofobjectification and strengthenedmechanistic understanding. As aconception of the universe it stands incontrast to sensate perceptivity andlived-body experience. In this latterformulation, intellect is not alien tophysicality but rather physicality and alistening body play upon intelligenceand vice versa. As a way of being in theworld it is productive of a relationalontology that emphasizes sentience andinterdependence. Animals are viewed aspeople in mythological-time-space, forexample, which in turn hasramifications for everyday practice. Innumerous ways there is brutality inmechanistic leanings and theapplication of dualistic principals.Judged by this rationale “certain”people, in a misconceived idea ofevolution (social Darwinism), wereconsidered animals and thus less thanpeople. Time and again this thinkingjustified the extermination of FirstPeople. Psychologically, this mentalblindness, disassociation, and denialcomes back to haunt us.

PSYCHOLOGY OF TECHNOLOGY

The dualism of Descartes, and itsresidual residence in science andtechnology, should be viewed

with necessary caution. Ambivalence,even skepticism, are not abnormal butrather a healthy response. Assertions ofscientific and technological “progress”become problematic, if ultimately theyprove divisive and destructive. Such isthe dilemma expressed by MichaelCollins at a significant moment inWestern technological development:Apollo 11 awaits take off for the journeyto the moon. Three American astronautsare ready to embark on perhaps thegreatest technological achievement inhistory. The date is July 16th, 1969.Michael Collins, the command pilot,gazes down at the early morning Floridalandscape. These are his impressions:

On my left is an unimpeded view of thebeach below, unmarred by human totems;on my right are the most colossal piles ofmachinery ever assembled. If I cover myright eye, I see the Florida of Ponce deLeon, and beyond it the sea which ismother to us all. I am the original man. IfI cover my left eye, I see civilization andtechnology and the United States ofAmerica and a frightening array of wiresand metal. I am but one adolescent in anarmy which has received its marchingorders.5

Collins describes an incapacity tointegrate two powerful and contraryimpressions. Why this self-reflection andreturn to origins before assertion andsetting forth? Confronted by thecolossus of technology andmilitarization, why does original mansuddenly appear? Surely, it is becauseFirst People—original man andwoman—are embedded in the psyche

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and cannot be suppressed. Time andagain, First People have beenphysically and emotionally suppressedand oppressed. Can the Dawn’s HeartStar co-exist with the speed of light,as was earlier insinuated?Conceptually yes, but in practice theprognosis is not good, given the factsof history. With the best of intentionsno amount of publicity and posturingwill rectify the situation; much moreis required.6 Psychological well-beingand individuation requires meaningfulintegration of polarities (third forceagain), otherwise left and rightremain divided. The universe dependson our search, with conscience, in thedark places for the sake of our soulsand that of the cosmos. Invariablyquarrels arise in consequence ofcultural incompatibilities but there isequally a deep unifying and universalhope and healing in the concept ofco-creation. Nested within co-creation is understanding, whichsuggests that interdependency is thefabric of existence, the acceptance ofwhich requires responsibility and care.

The documentary record of co-creative existence is fragmentary. It isa knowledge system not highly valuedin techno-industrial society and isthus relegated to the margins. Whereit survives, it does so precariously inthe practices and wisdom traditions ofmarginalized people, mostly. The|xam story of the creation of theMilky Way gives an example of whatco-creation was, and might be.

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My mother was the one who told me thatthe girl arose; she put her hands into thewood ashes; she threw up the wood ashesinto the sky. She said to the wood ashes:“The wood ashes which are here, theymust altogether become the Milky Way.They must white lie along the sky, thatthe stars may stand outside the MilkyWay, while the Milky Way is the MilkyWay, while it used to be wood ashes”.7

This is a story of metamorphosis. Init humans play a part in thetransformational processes required forthe formation and maintenance of thecosmos. The universe that is portrayedis not simply created from above but iselevated from below as well. Humanparticipation is required as afundamental principal of co-creation.The en-framing structure of the story isthat the ash, which becomes the MilkyWay, was formerly the roots of the!huin plant. The !huin roots, youngand old, are nutritional andsymbolically significant, plus they havean aesthetic purpose, imparting colorto the stars. The roots, once growing inthe earth, are returned to the sky. Theearth’s things and the sky’s things arecultivated through mutuality andreciprocal exchanged. The fire burnsthe roots, and then the ash, whichbecomes the Milky Way, lights the sky.Light and energy are not static buttransforming and transformational.

INSATIABLE CURIOSITY

MeerKAT, which represents onepercent of the SKA, will be completed

Confronted by the colossus of technology and militarization,

why does original man suddenly appear?

in 2017. The next nine percent of theSKA will be finished around 2023 or2024. With ten percent of thetelescope operational there certainlywill be startling revelations. The finalninety percent of SKA will befunctional by 2030, “capable ofanswering questions about the universethat we have not even asked yet.”

Humans have a natural curiosity,which would be perfectly innocent ifit were not insatiable. Betrayal canhappen most insidiously at the level of identification with preferentialmeanings, including the myth ofmeaning itself. Plus, there is theautomatic penchant for meaning-making, and an inability to turn away from the self-created self. Final injustice resides in a blindconceptual slant that is neglectful ofco-creation. Knowledge is doomed ifit cannot understand that knowledgealone is recursive, or worse, harborsthe seed of its own destruction, iftaken to extreme.

In the |xam world the known andthe unknown were no doubt acceptedas given, and death was inevitable.8

Nature provided but it was not aGarden of Eden. Nevertheless, theworld was meaningful because arelational, co-creative way of being inthe world provides assurances, fed byinfluences coming from beyondmeaning per se. Individualsparticipated directly in a universalliving order, ultimately unfathomable,in which the psyche and cosmos arenot separate but rather, profoundlyintegrated, in ways not always obviousor easy to assess.

With the advent of the SKA there isan opportunity to pause and reflectupon aboriginal nature, once again,

and especially to consider the processesof co-creation. A cognitive shift withwide-spread acceptance is critical atthis moment in time for the sake ofthis planet; mother to us all.9 The SKAis also an apt metaphor for search ingeneral, given its operational methods:focusing on the dark regions,purposefully seeking to understand theessence of the cosmos, reaching us viasignals of invisible radiation.

1 ǁkabbo pointed out the Dawn’s Heart Star andthe astronomer George Maclear identified theDawn’s Heart Star as Jupiter. There is convincingevidence that at least two of the Galilean satelliteswere visible to the |xam, aided by the ideal atmos-pheric conditions and by exceptional eye-sight(Koorts, W. P. (2007). The nature of the Dawn’sHeart Star. AFRICAN SKIES/CIEUX AFRICAINS 11 (July):54-56.2 The Digital Bleek and Lloyd Archive http://lloy-dbleekcollection.cs.uct.ac.za/.3 UNESCOhttp://www.unesco.org/new/en/communica-tion-and-information/memory-of-the-world/reg-ister/full-list-of-registered-heritage/registered-heritage-page-8/the-bleek-collection/.4 Galileo Galilei, IL SAGGIATORE, 16535 Collins, M. 1974. CARRYING THE FIRE. pp. 359.Italics added6 See, http://www.conservation-watch.org/2016/09/09/planet-at-the-cross-roads-where-are-indigenous-peoples-in-iucns-con-gress-theme/ , accessed 4 October, 2016. Also,Solastalgia: distress caused by environmentalchangehttps://www.linkedin.com/pulse/solastalgia-dis-tress-caused-environmental-change-neil-rusch?trk=mp-author-card, accessed 18 October,2016.7 Bleek W. & Lloyd L. 1911. SPECIMENS OF BUSHMAN

FOLKLORE. pp. 73. 8 Rusch N. 2010. “My Heart Stands in the Hill”Parabola (Life after Death) Vol. 35(2), pp. 14–21.9 The carbon dioxide levels in the earth’s atmos-phere crossed a critical threshold of 400ppm in thelatter months of 2016. What this means we don’tknow, ultimately. What we do know is that it isdangerous, and likely irreversible. http://www.sci-encealert.com/earth-s-co2-levels-just-perma-nently-crossed-a-really-scary-threshold, accessed28 September, 2016.

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A doula is a trained professional who assists a woman, as well as her spouse and family, before,during, and after childbirth. In the passages below, the author, founder of the first End of LifeDoula Program in the U.S., applies the doula principle to the act of dying and an accompany-ing search for meaning.–The Editors

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE MEANING OF ONE’S LIFE arise quite naturally asa person approaches death. The questions center on how well a personfeels they have lived, the things they have accomplished, how happy

they were, and the impact they had on others. These questions oftenarrive in the middle of the night when the dying person can’t sleep or inthose moments when activities around them don’t hold their attention.Usually, these questions do not result in a careful examination of events,because people do not appreciate the benefit of doing that. Instead, theysurface and disappear in fleeting moments, like silvery fish jumping above thesurface of a stream and falling back in.

Only when a person explores these questions in a serious and concertedway will they resolve the basic conflict that Erik Erikson delineated betweenego integrity and despair….A dying person can either ignore thatdevelopmental challenge or face it head on. The doula approach advocates forengagement, because we have seen that successfully resolving this challengehelps a dying person achieve wisdom and peace at the end of life.

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Life Review and the Search for Meaning eÉåêó=cÉêëâçJtÉáëë

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Life review is the primary tool adoula uses to guide the dyingperson in exploring questions of

meaning. One of the main theoreticianson life review was Dr. Robert Butler,who wrote about the need to processexperiences from the past so that aperson can reintegrate them in a positiveway. Research prompted by Butler’swork demonstrated that life review canreduce depression, increase lifesatisfaction, and promote greateracceptance of self—results that supporthealthy ego integrity.

In my work with dying people, I havefound that the most powerful andinsistent memories tend to revolvearound unresolved conflicts, guilt,regret, and blame. It is easier to explorethose kinds of memories afterestablishing a relationship of trust with adying person. Sometimes, however, evenin an initial visit, the painful memories

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are right there and need to be workedon immediately. This happened duringmy first visit with Richard, a man in hislate sixties who was dying frompancreatic cancer.

Richard’s wife led me across amarble floor to an unexpectedlysmall living room crammed

with furniture, vases, sculptures, andpaintings that covered nearly everysquare inch of the walls from floor toceiling. The effect was claustrophobicand dizzying, as if the room couldsuddenly start spinning on its own axis.Richard was huddled into one corner ofa couch covered in a wild print fabric. Aswe went through the introductions, hehanded me a framed picture of himselfstanding confidently on a ski slopesomewhere. He was solid looking andlarge framed but not heavy.

“That was me before I got sick,” hesaid. “I hardly recognize myself nowwhen I look in the mirror.” The mansitting on the couch looked half the sizeof the man in the photograph.

“You look like you belonged on theslopes,” I said.

“I was an excellent skier. Every winterI would go to Europe at some point toski in the Alps. It was one of the ways Iindulged myself,” he said, his voiceheavy with nostalgia. “Now, I can hardlymove off this couch to get to thebathroom. One of the few pleasures Ihave left is watching the leaves on theJapanese maple out there [he pointed tothe one window in the room] as theydance in the wind. They look like theybelong on a bird rather than a tree.”

I was sitting on a chair in front of thecouch. I didn’t say anything, waiting tosee if he would speak again. I could feela pensive sadness in the slow way hespoke. It was clear that there wassomething on his mind that was largerthan the decline in his body. As Idiscussed in chapter 5, during activelistening, a doula will allow silence,especially in moments that seemcharged—like this one did.

“I’ve been thinking about so manythings in the last several days,” Richardsaid. “Failures from the past and regretshaunting me. How can I come to termswith that at this point? It feelsoverwhelming.”

So here we were, entering the zone oflife review work at Richard’s initiative.When this happens as organically as itdid with Richard, the doula will allowthe person to control the direction ofthe conversation, because it comes froman urgency inside them.

“It sounds like you’re thinking aboutthe negative things that happened inyour life; things you wish you couldchange. Is that right?”

“Yea, it’s all the places I messed up. Maybe I’m thinking that waybecause I’m staring into the face ofdeath. You can see it in my body; it’sgetting closer.”

“Would you like to talk about someof that now?” I asked, still not sure if hewas ready to do life review work. Iwanted him to decide.

He seemed to grow smaller as he satthere, gazing once again out thewindow. I knew better than to interruptthe inner calculation that would lead towhatever he needed to say next. As Iwaited, I saw signs of physical pain playacross Richard’s face. He rubbed theright side of his abdomen below theribs. I chose not to ask him about thepain just then, because I didn’t want todivert him from his internal process. ButI wondered if worsening pain wascontributing to the urgency he felt totalk about the negatives in his life—asense that time was running out.

When Richard did talk again, hestarted to tell me the story of his first

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I wondered if worsening pain was contributing to the urgency he felt to talk

about the negatives in his life—a sense that time was running out.

marriage. He had been in his mid-twenties. He said that his wifeperiodically experienced deepdepression, which dragged him down into dark moods he had neverexperienced before. At some point,they had started fighting a lot. Herealized after a few years of this thathe didn’t love her anymore, but hecouldn’t bring himself to end therelationship. The crucial decisionpoints in life, those times when aperson chooses one direction oranother, and the reasons they makethose choices, reveal a great deal.They can become the focal pointsin exploring meaning, and later, inexpressing that meaning in alegacy project.

Choices lead to outcomes that maybe positive, negative, or a combinationof the two. When a person does lifereview work, they need to explorechoices, events, and outcomes.Discussion about negative outcomes orevents will reveal some of the work aperson might do to resolve conflicts thatstand in the way of turning towardintegrity and away from despair. Talkingabout the positive outcomes or eventswill reinforce integrity and may lead topossible legacy projects. Looking atboth leads to uncovering meaning.

As it turned out, it was the choices inhis first marriage and their outcomesthat caused Richard the greatest pain inhis life. His second marriage, which hadproduced two daughters who were veryclose to him, had brought him only joy.

When a person does life review work,it helps if they cover all the periods oftheir life to discover the seminalexperiences that drive their overall senseof success or failure. Typically, I findthat the middle years of adulthood tend

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to contain more of those, so I usuallystart my life review there, askingquestions that are pointed toward themain activities of life: work,relationships, socializing, involvementwith spirituality, and time spent alone.The questions should be open-ended,such as: “Tell me about your work.”“How did spirituality or religion play apart in your life?” “What felt satisfyingor disappointing about the work youdid?” One of the broader questions Ilike to ask, because it often uncoversunfinished business or unresolvedconflicts, is: “What difficulties did youencounter in your middle years?”

Without me needing to ask thequestion, Richard had led us directlyinto a conversation on probably thebiggest difficulty in his life. A difficultythat, when he looked back on it now,involved a series of bad choices andpainful outcomes. It took us a couple ofvisits to fully explore those choices andoutcomes. They involved having a childagainst his better judgment and stayingin the marriage too long.

“When I finally left,” Richard toldme during our second visit, “my wifeturned bitter and nasty. I was the solesupport for them. I tried to stayinvolved in our daughter Jennifer’s life,but my wife made that more and moredifficult. By the time she was in hermid-teens, I saw Jennifer onlysporadically, and she made it clear shedidn’t care if I visited.”

“That must have been verypainful,” I said.

“It broke my heart. But by then I wasremarried and had young children wholoved having me around. At one point,due to circumstances and the demandsof my successful business, I didn’t seeJennifer for six months. When I thought

about calling her, it just felt too hard, soI didn’t. I only heard from Jenniferonce, about five years later. It was a veryangry phone call. She accused me ofabandoning her and blamed me foreverything that was wrong in her life.Now I haven’t seen or spoken to her in

over fifteen years. This is the big failurein my life. It haunts me now as my deathgets closer.”

At this point Richard looked straightat me, and I could see the suffering inhis eyes. When someone is in suchdespair, it doesn’t help to try to

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immediately change the feelings, to findsome way to soften them or push themaside, like hosing dead leaves off thewalkway to your house. I knew therewas much in his life to be proud of. Butoften when a person approaches death,it is the failures or the regrets that speakmost insistently in the mind.

“I think about Jennifer all the time,like a tune you can’t stop hearing,” hesaid. “And the thoughts seem to getlouder and more insistent. I try tothink about the good things in mylife, but the guilt and self-blamewon’t let go of me.”

“It sounds like trying to replace yourtroubling thoughts with more positiveones isn’t working. Have you thoughtabout other ways to deal with this?”

“I have thought about trying to getin touch with her. But even if I couldfind her, I’m terrified that she wouldn’twant anything to do with me. Thatwould be so devastating at this point.How could I carry that into my death?”

Up to this point in our worktogether, my role as the doula was tohelp Richard explore the issue that wasplaguing him and allow solutions tocome from inside his struggle. Now Ifelt the time was right for me to make adirect suggestion that might help himmove in a direction he had consideredbut was afraid to try.

“Of course you don’t know whatcould happen. But you are certainlysuffering a great deal now. Taking someother action might at least let you stopbeating up on yourself so much.” Iplaced my hand on his arm, so he couldfeel my support at a physical level.

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“Maybe trying to get in touch directlyisn’t what you need to do. Other peopleI have worked with who had to dealwith a broken relationship found thatwriting a letter to the person was veryhelpful. Something about the familiarformat of a letter makes it feel likeyou actually communicated, even ifthe letter never gets sent or theperson never sees it. I know peoplewho wrote to a parent or sibling whowere no longer alive, and still it feltlike they had communicated. It maylet you unburden yourself more.”

This was the beginning of a processthat moved Richard out of the despairhe was stuck in to working toward aresolution— or at least toward easinghis pain.

After writing the letter and rewritingit a couple of times, he decided toactually try to get it to Jennifer. One ofhis other daughters, Lisa, searched theInternet and found Jennifer’s address.So Richard sent the letter.

As we waited to see if she wouldrespond, Richard agreed to try avisualization to release some of hisguilt. I had him imagine that his guiltand shame were dark clouds that hadgathered inside his chest, surroundinghis heart. He could see the edges of hisheart turning grey. Then, in hisimagination, I came to him andhanded him a jar with magic salveinside. I instructed him to rub it on hischest above his heart and watch as itturned into an opalescent light thatpenetrated his skin and turned the darkclouds to ones that were white andhealing. He could see his heart turning

Even though he kept moving toward his death, he was more alive inside.

a vibrant, glowing red and feel it filledwith love for those around him, forJennifer, and for himself.

I guided Richard in thisvisualization many times over the nextthree weeks. We also continued to dothe life review work. Now that he hadtaken action on his unfinishedbusiness regarding Jennifer, he wasmore available to explore otheraspects of his life. If there arepowerful negative issuesoverwhelming a person, it is difficultto have them explore the morepositive parts of their life experience.Once the negative issues areaddressed in some way (and justlistening deeply may be enough), itbecomes easier to turn from despairtoward integrity. Then, discussingsuccesses, accomplishments, andjoyous events will accelerate themovement toward integrity.

When Richard finally received aletter from Jennifer, she said she wouldcome to see him the following week.The visit was very awkward anduncomfortable for everyone. Theconversation skirted the real issuesbetween Richard and Jennifer.Through the tightness in the wayJennifer spoke, they could feel theanger inside her. As a result, the visitfelt stilted and unsatisfying. Lisa walkedJennifer to the door and asked her toplease come back. She told Jenniferthat many times in the last few months,Richard had expressed his great sorrowover what had happened; that hedesperately wanted to somehow makeit different before he died.

Jennifer did come back a couple ofweeks later and finally expressed heranger and hurt. Richard took it all inand told her how sorry he was to have

caused her such pain. The visit didn’tresolve the feelings, but Jennifer keptvisiting. During the last four monthsof his life, Richard was able to bring adegree of healing to his once brokenrelationship with Jennifer. I don’tknow how the relationship might have developed if they’d had moretime with each other, but at leastthere was a relationship.

The life review work with Richardmoved into new territory. He hadcome to an accommodation with thebroken part of his past, which allowedus to talk about the things he wasproud of, his most satisfyingexperiences, and his love of snow andthe mountains. The shift in hisemotional state was dramatic. Eventhough he kept moving toward hisdeath, he was more alive inside.

He made a video legacy in which hespoke about the values he had tried tolive, the things he had come to believewere most important in life, what hehad learned—even through hismistakes and failures. He toldeveryone, Jennifer included, howmuch he loved them and what hehoped for them after he was gone.

The video was only about thirtyminutes long, but it summed up hislife in a powerful way. When I watchedthe video, Richard looked larger to methan the shrunken man I had met atmy first visit—more like the image ofhim on the ski slope in the picture hehad showed me. In the end, in spite ofthe great pain he had to deal with, hedied very peacefully.

Adapted, and reprinted with permission fromConari Press an imprint of Red Wheel/Weiser,CARING FOR THE DYING by Henry Fersko-Weiss isavailable wherever books and ebooks are sold ordirectly from the publisher at www.redwheel-weiser.com or 800-423-7087.

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Tcheslaw Tchekhovitch (1900-1958) studied with G.I Gurdjieff (1866-1949) for decades.The following passage details experiences during the late 1940s in Paris.–The Editors

MR. GURDJIEFF WOULD NOT ALLOW ANYONE TO SAY that he actedfrom kindness, yet it seemed obvious to us that he did. Ifrequently asked myself what the motives were behind his often

unexpected actions. Did they originate from kindness, sympathy, or wasthere some other inner imperative?

Certainly, his motive was not kindness in the usual sentimental sense ofthe word. This was especially true in relation to his pupils. No, if it waskindness, it was a real kindness and outlook on everything that could onlybe described as something called love. It was not a personal feeling foranother, but rather one that came from somewhere else. And this includedhis relations with his pupils. In other words, it was an opening to a sense ofthe sacred that he shared with others. This was quite distinct from hislegendary generosity, his kindness in the ordinary sense of the term, ofwhich we caught comical and unforgettable glimpses nearly every day.

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Impersonal KindnessqÅÜÉëä~ï=qÅÜÉâÜçîáíÅÜ

táíÜ=dKfK=dìêÇàáÉÑÑ=áå=mçëíï~ê=m~êáë

Since I was often with him atdifferent times of the day, I saw in anintimate way aspects of his life that mostof his pupils, who only attended theevening groups, never knew about. Ihave often spoken of his kindnesstoward me, but now I want to recallsome events that I chanced to witness.

Mr. Gurdjieff often did his ownshopping when he took his morningstroll. As soon as he returned, he startedworking in the kitchen. During thistime, he would not receive any of hispupils, and the door opening onto themain staircase remained closed.

It was quite another story, however,at the back staircase. One had to see itto believe it: from the bottom of thestairs to the top, there was a longprocession of beggars, parasites, andthe like. One had his bowl, another histin plate, still another an old pot, allcoming solemnly to receive a full rationof soup accompanied by some kindwords. Mr. Gurdjieff himself servedfrom enormous cooking pots whileasking after the health of everyone, notforgetting those who could not comebecause of illness. When he found outthat someone was sick, he would say,“Well, let’s give him somethingspecial!” and, according to the latestinformation he received about him, hewould fill the container with some dishor other that he had prepared.

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Here was an old woman who camefor herself and also for her husband,who could no longer walk; there, anundernourished and sick man who saidhe was unable to work; then childrenfrom a large poverty-stricken family; andthe concierge from a neighboringbuilding, who had looked after abedridden tenant on the seventh floorfor a long time.

Now, an old, aristocratic Russian ladyappears. She respectfully greets Mr.Gurdjieff. He takes her bowl whileasking for details of her husband’shealth. Instead of answering directly, shestarts to put on airs, to grovel, and toflatter Mr. Gurdjieff, who still does notknow what food would be appropriate.He interrupts her and asks the samequestion again, this time more dryly.The lady finally answers, but while Mr.Gurdjieff serves her, she repeats hermundane compliments. I amembarrassed for her and make a move inher direction, wishing to make herunderstand that she is on dangerousground. But, carried away by hergroveling, she is totally unaware andgoes on to compare the kindness of Mr.Gurdjieff with that supreme…. I do notlearn which paragon of virtue she meantbecause he interrupts her in mid-sentence. “You, your husband, and allyour kind have made your path in lifeby playing the role of ass-lickers, and in

His table was a veritable cornucopia, forno day passed without parcels of food

arriving from all over the world.... Yet, ifthere was no one to eat with, he would

often choose not to eat at all.

spite of so many years in exile, you arestill not free from that repugnant trait.It is truly sad!”

The woman begins to justify andexcuse herself. Mr. Gurdjieff says to her,“Good, good, I know, it’s not yourfault. Now be off with you; we still havemuch to do.”

The woman, offended, goes towardthe door, but Mr. Gurdjieff reassuresher in a warm voice, simply saying,“Till tomorrow.”

This scene was repeated everymorning, the procession usually endingaround one o’clock, sometimes only tostart again in the evening. Mr. Gurdjieffalso prepared enormous quantities offood to share with his pupils and otherswho regularly frequented his apartment.His table was a veritable cornucopia, forno day passed without parcels of foodarriving from all over the world: thesouth of France, Spain, Turkey,Australia, the Americas, and even Africa.Yet, if there was no one to eat with, hewould often choose not to eat at all.

As for the children, Mr. Gurdjieffnever left home without filling hispockets with a good supply of bonbonsand various sweets. When he cameacross a mother with her child, healways offered a bonbon to the littleone. If the child offered it to hismother, he gave him two more. But ifthe child did not offer anything, thatwas all he received. If the mother hidthe sweet to give to the child later, shewas offered more too. In the districtwhere he took his regular walk, he waswell known to all the children andthose who accompanied them. He wasa kind of Father Christmas, and wascalled “Monsieur Bonbon.”

The reader may be irritated by whatappears to be a blind attachment and

unreserved partiality on my part. If so,please excuse a devotion that may seemexcessive. One has to imagine how livingnear him shattered all habitual forms:one found oneself literally entering intothe world of myth. We all experiencedthis same feeling.

After Mr. Gurdjieff ’s death, Iwitnessed many touching scenes. Forexample, an old woman came to theapartment about three weeks later.Overcome by the news that he was nolonger there, she could only say, “Andnow, how shall I pay my rent?”Someone else came and said, “I wouldso much liked to have thanked him. Hepaid for my daughter’s treatment, andshe has just come out of the sanatorium,cured.” After hearing of Mr. Gurdjieff ’sdeath, one man collapsed into anarmchair, remained silent for tenminutes, and then murmured, “Tocome from South Africa and learn this.How sad.” And he left.

And I thought to myself, “Yes, howsad, how sad not to have known him;but more, how sad to have known himand not to have understood him. Andabove all, how sad to have understoodhim and not to have served his work.”

Reprinted by permission from TcheslawTchekhovitch’s GURDJEFF: A MASTER IN LIFE (DolmenMeadows Editions, 2006).

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Tantra is the hot blood of spiritual practice. It smashes the taboo againstunreasonable happiness; a thunderbolt path, swift, joyful, and fierce.—Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche

And I say: can [those], who have in [their] hearts the Divine Fire of theHoly Spirit burning naked, not be set on fire, not shine and glitter and nottake on the radiance of the Deity in the degree of [their] purification andpenetration by fire? —St. Simeon the New Theologian

Set as jewels within the fairy chimney rock formations of the high desertof central Turkey, historic hermit caves dot the mountainsides of Göreme,Cappadocia. I came to these caves nursing a recent disappointment. Onlya week before I had been in Istanbul (ancient Constantinople) and hadgone to the great Hagia Sophia church there. This church, largelyunknown to Western Christians, was the central church of Christendomfor over a thousand years and serves still today as the model for nearlyevery mosque built around the world. Hagia Sophia had been “the holy ofholies” of the Christian world, long before St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome tookcentral stage in the West. Hagia Sophia had been the church of Byzantineemperors and ecumenical patriarchs. Its mosaics are rightly among themost famous and recognizable works of art in the Christian world.

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Towards a Christian Tantrag~ãÉë=eìÖÜÉë=oÉÜç

få=~=qìêâáëÜ=Å~îÉI=~å=~åÅáÉåí=ï~ó=íçï~êÇ=dçÇ

For years I had dreamed about the dayI might visit the Hagia Sophia. In myfantasy I had imagined walking into thisgreat and beautiful sacred space andbeing struck with awe, being overtaken bythe living presence of God, never to be thesame again. I can still remember myexpectation, the openness of my heart andspirit, as I entered this great mother ofchurches through the patriarchal door.My eyes were wide with wonder, and I feltmy heart quicken. I crossed the thresholdand breathed in the fragrance of theplace. And nothing happened. Thestirring beauty of the mosaics, theimposing grandeur and opulence of thespace, the dizzying domes and cacophonyof ancient items, like the pre-Christianbaptismal font taken from a healingcenter dedicated to the god Asclepius,were all as I had hoped, even more so—and yet that burning presence I sought,which in my imagination livedparticularly here, eluded me.

A week later, warm in the dry heatand bright sun of the Anatolian highdesert, I was climbing into the small cavesinhabited by early Christian ascetics inGöreme. Some of these caves were barelylarge enough to lie down or walk aroundin. Others could fit a small gathering.They served as home, chapel, and study forthe early hermits and mystics who spenttheir lives here seeking union with Godthrough spiritual practices, silence, anddevotion. The fragrance of these spiritualseekers still lingered on the cave walls andin the desert air. The dry climate ofCappadocia has preserved the crude holyicons and textual fragments they hadchalked on the walls of their hollowed-outcells over a thousand years ago, makingeach cave a unique devotional spacecreated through the synergy of nature andmonk. Toward the end of the day, my

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companions and I were brought by ourguide (it was mandatory to have anofficial guide) to one of the refectories, ordining rooms, of these early monastics.The dining room in its entirety consistedof two parallel troughs of about twentyfeet in length and three feet in depth; itwas a study in minimalism. The asceticswould sit on the ground, their lower legsin the trough as if they were on a chair,with the ground between the troughsserving as their dining table.

I was gripped with an urge to sit there,to take a seat at this table where so manyspiritual seekers had taken their scarceamounts of food before returning to theirholy work of solitude. Our guide was clearthat we were to look but not touch. Beinga bit of a scofflaw, I lingered toward theback of our group as the guide began tomove on, waiting for him and my tentravel companions to round a bend. ThenI walked straight for the refectory and saton the ground with my legs in the trough

and elbows on the table, as countless othershad done before me.

Immediately, I experienced what feltlike a lightning bolt coming from theground beneath my seat and moving upthrough my body with speed and power.With this lightning came a revelation,which I heard from somewhere like the pitof my guts or the center of the earth: Thepeople at the Hagia Sophia are not yourancestors. These people are your ancestors.I began to shake and felt like I wasstrangely overheating. Sweat poured outfrom every pore, and I think I blacked outfor a while. I don’t remember rising frommy seat. It took me quite a while before Itried to share what had happened to me,since at the time I had no idea what thismessage meant.

These people are your ancestors.There exists another lineage,another stream that was

outside, or maybe underneath, thepower and grandeur that had been theHagia Sophia in its prime. Tracing thisstream, we find it leads us back to theoriginal wellspring of Jesus and theearly communities that gatheredaround his presence, before and afterhis death. At certain points in history,this stream has been a roaring river,bringing life and refreshment to many;at other times, it has been anunderground aquifer, all but invisible.

Writers of the first centuries of theCommon Era who swam in and drankfrom this stream used the thought-language of their time to relate theirexperience. They redefined the terms ofNeoplatonic philosophy in an attempt toexpress a reality that was in manyimportant ways contrary to the views ofNeoplatonic mysticism.1 In the sameway, the initial generations of Jesus’

followers appropriated the titles ofRoman power used to describeAugustus Caesar, such as “Son of God”and “Savior” and even “Virgin-born,”to express a very different picture ofpower antithetical to Rome and herCaesars. In the long run, thisantilanguage was only somewhatsuccessful. Over time, the paradox andprotest that informed the early Christianuse of Neoplatonic and imperial Romanlanguage was largely lost. Christianspirituality fell prey to the world-denying and body-negative views of theascetic Neoplatonists, just as Christhimself became more and more fusedwith the imperial Roman god SolInvictus (the Unconquerable Sun).

The mystical Christianity that I tastedamong its own artifacts at Göreme hadthrived largely outside the officialinstitution symbolized by largestructures such as the Hagia Sophia.This lineage is not rooted in imperialpower or Sol Invictus. It is rooted in away of seeing that parallels the insightsof Eastern Tantra, though from within aChristian framework.

THE REST BETWEEN TWO NOTES

As I began a more focusedexploration of the meaning ofwhat had happened to me at

the Göreme refectory, I quickly raninto a problem. It became clear thatmuch classical Christian language thatmight have been used to speak aboutthe deep revelations of the mysticaltradition had been drasticallyredefined or had become loaded withdogmatic baggage and strangeassociations from more modernexpressions of the faith such as

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evangelicalism or biblicalfundamentalism. In searching for avocabulary to express the unique andoften surprising insights of this mysticalChristianity, I found that the traditionalreligious language of the Christianhousehold was, paradoxically, notalways the best choice. I began toexplore other vocabularies.

During this same period ofsearching, I had a series of powerfulvisions (some recounted in this book)that included both Christian andHindu imagery. These visions broughtup new questions for me. For instance,what did it mean for me as a Christianperson to have a vision that includedboth Jesus and the goddess Durga, andled me to an experience of the Divinethat seemed to move beyond theparameters of either? I meditated uponthese visions and discussed them withmy own spiritual mentors, who bothaffirmed that such experiences couldbe part of a genuine Christian path andhelped me come to realize that thesubstance of these visions would besignificantly flattened if limited to onlyone tradition’s iconography. Ourpluralistic world allows for theinterplay of such images in ways thatare still faithful to one’s root tradition,just as in its early days Christianityengaged the art and deities of oldertraditions in fruitful ways. In my owncase, the insights and images of theEastern world, particularly of Indianand Tibetan Tantra, had been veryalive for me from the time of my

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childhood, and formed the center ofmy university studies.

Now it seemed that I was beingcalled to inhabit both worlds, to allowTantra and mystical Christianity tocoexist in my heart. Bearing authenticwitness to what was coming alive withinme, I sought for the clearest and mostuseful way of expressing the truths ofmystical Christianity within our ownhistorical particularity. This work drewme into an exploration of the resonancesand parallels between Tantra andChristianity. Two lines that are paralleltravel in the same direction but neveroverlap: each remains its own reality. Yethonoring the space between them makestheir resonances all the moreinformative. There is a pregnant silencebetween the unique notes (languages) ofTantra and Christianity. It is that silencebetween the two notes that makes theminto music, and holds the promise of adeeper sounding. As the poet RainerMaria Rilke has written,

I am the rest between two notes,Which, struck together, sound discordantly,Because death’s note would claim a higherkey.But in the dark pause, trembling, the notesmeet, harmonious.And the song continues sweet.2

Many Christians in the past, limitedby their cultural isolation or lack ofmutual sharing with other faiths, mayhave had a cultural or tribal reactionagainst difference and understood theirfaith in an exclusionary way. Today, deepinterspiritual sharing made possible

We can experience the Divine, but we cannot fully circumscribe the Divine

with names, definitions, or categories.

through modern pluralisticenvironments leads many of us to seethat all these traditions can be other,legitimate faces of the Divine Mysterythat carry learnings for us all. Eachreligious tradition offers a particularculturally conditioned picture of ourrelationship with the Divine. The Divinereality, transcategorical in itself, can onlybe perceived through categories: that is,through our own historical, cultural,embodied particularity. And onedistinctive particularity can be fructifiedby engaging another, especially in aculturally complex world.

Stories and fables that are of universalappeal tend to cross into many differentcultures. The story of the blind men andthe elephant is one such story, and it isfound in various Asian and Europeanforms. In a Jain version of this fable, sixblind men are asked to encounter and

describe an elephant. One, grasping aleg of the elephant, says, “It is like apillar.” Another, holding its tail,affirms an elephant is like a rope. Athird man, running his hands along theelephant’s trunk, says it is like a treebranch. The fourth man, stroking theear of the elephant, says it is like ahand fan. The fifth feels the belly ofthe elephant and believes it is like awall, while the last man, holding thetusk, claims an elephant is like a solidpipe. After some confusion, a kingexplains to the blind men that each, infact, is right, though none of theiraccounts is complete. It would not bepossible for any single one of them tofully describe an elephant; each,however, could assert something trueand meaningful from the position ofhis own engagement with the elephantthrough his distinctive particularity.

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It is through the particular, theconditioned, the finite, that truth can beknown; and it is because of the nature ofthis knowing as conditioned and finiteand arising within a given context thatthis knowing cannot be total. Accordingto Jain thought, an object ofknowledge has an infinite number offacets (Sanskrit: anekantatmaka) andwhat we come to know is partial, notcomplete. Complete knowledge,according to the Jain theory of partialpredication (syadvada), would only bepossible in the hypothetical situation inwhich every singular viewpoint isconsidered on an absolutely equalfooting with every other.

Resonating with this sense of theDivine as beyond full knowability is thestory from the Hebrew scriptures inwhich Moses encounters the presence ofGod in a bush that burns but is not

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consumed (Exodus3). When Moses asksGod for God’s name, God responds, “Iam who I am” (or, “I will be who I willbe”). In this cryptic response, Godoffers Moses something beyond adefinition. God lets Moses into the veryheart of God, which exceeds allcategories and names. So we canexperience the Divine, but we cannotfully circumscribe the Divine withnames, definitions, or categories.

As a modern parallel, John Hick, amodern philosopher of religion, assertsthat our absolute truth claims aboutGod are in fact absolute claims aboutour perceptions of God; our religiousknowledge is culturally and historicallyconditioned. Such conditioned pathsprovide various ways to genuinelyexperience the Divine, yet also preventour reflection on this experience fromever being objectively definitive; that is,

the Divine is never fully knowable. Aswe can only approach the Divinethrough our distinctive cultural andreligious particulars,3 no one faith canclaim to have a monopoly on describingthe elephant, and every spiritualtradition can benefit from the experienceof others.

Our particularity also includesour bodies, minds, andemotional patterns. The

Divine, which transcends all categories,is our elephant. To enhance how weknow the elephant, we can productivelyengage the knowledge that has emergedfrom other differing and distinctivecontexts. It’s important to be clear thatwe are not saying that at some point wecan gather enough blind men andwomen to know the elephant in itsentirety, or to know some universal orPlatonic elephant divorced from theexperiences of the blind men. We neverfully know the elephant, at least notwhen that elephant is the Divine. Wecan, however, come to a very deepknowledge of our own perceptions ofthe elephant, and we can enhance ourperceptions through hearing theperceptions of others, shared in openand respectful dialogue. Perhaps wecome to assimilate two such sets ofexperiences and perceptions. Such aprocess can open a living space withinus where resonances arising from aplurality of belongings enhance ourown native tradition and help usunderstand it and express it in new and

life-giving ways that are still faithful toits particular genius.

It is in this context that we will lift upcertain resonances that Christianmysticism has with the Tantra of theEast. It is in this context that we willlook to the vocabulary, images, and evendeities drawn from the world of Tantrato clarify, through correlation, the pathof Christian transformation. Our hope isto offer an invitation into this exciting,blissful, and powerful path in a wayrelevant for today’s seeker and devoid ofthe unwanted and unhelpful baggage ofthe past that would only confuse thesimple but profound and life-givingtruths of the Christian mystical path.Our hope is that as we explore aChristian Tantra we will dust off jewelsin our mystical treasure house that havebeen buried for centuries, and placethem in new settings that will not onlybring us greater joy and vitality andpeace than we have ever known, but willencourage and enliven us to be of deepservice to the world.

1 Vladimir Lossky, THE MYSTICAL THEOLOGY OF THE

EASTERN CHURCH (Crestwood, N.Y.: St. Vladimir'sSeminary Press, 1976), 32.2 Rainier Maria Rilke, POEMS FROM THE BOOK OF HOURS,trans. Babette Deutsch (New York: NewDirections, 1975), 21.3 For more on John Hick and religious pluralism,see John Hick, AN INTERPRETATION OF RELIGION: HUMAN

RESPONSES TO THE TRANSCENDENT, 2nd ed. (New Haven:Yale University Press, 2004).

TANTRIC JESUS by James Hughes Reho © 2017Destiny Books. Printed with permission from thepublisher Inner Traditions International.www.InnerTraditions.com

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We can enhance our perceptions throughhearing the perceptions of others,

shared in open and respectful dialogue.

JUNG WAS LARGELY RESPONSIBLE for making the I Ching knownto the Western world. He did so by writing the foreword toRichard Wilhelm’s translation of the I Ching into German, in

1929. This “contributed in no small measure to the acceptance ofthe book in Western intellectual circles.” The English edition, re-translated by Cary Baynes, appeared in 1949. When approached byWilhelm, Jung had already known the I Ching for some years, andwas fascinated by it. In MEMORIES, DREAMS, REFLECTIONS he says:

I would sit for hours beneath the hundred year-old pear tree, the IChing beside me, practising the technique by referring the resultantoracles to one another in an interplay of questions and answers. All sortsof undeniably remarkable results emerged—meaningful connectionswith my own thought processes which I could not explain to myself.

Jung and Wilhelm met in the early 1920s. Richard Wilhelm was atheologian and missionary, who lived in China for twenty-five years.His knowledge of the Chinese language enabled him to translate theI Ching and other classical works into German. Translations fromGerman into English and other languages soon followed....

The I Ching, or Book of Changes, is one of the first efforts of thehuman mind to place itself within the universe. The I Chingportrays the changing balance between the forces of yin and yang.

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The I Ching and Synchronicity^ååÉííÉ=içïÉ

Yin is represented by a broken line,and yang by an unbroken line. Thereare eight sets of three lines. One set hasthree unbroken lines, another threebroken lines. Three more have onebroken line, at the bottom, in themiddle or at the top. The last threehave one unbroken line at the bottom,in the middle or the top. Each readingconsists of two hexagrams, an upperand a lower, so that the I Ching offers8 x 8, i.e., 64 possible readings, or

typical situations. A basic interpretationrelates to the force of yin or yang risingthrough the lines. So a reading withfive yang lines, and a single yin line atthe top, would suggest that yin energyis dying away and yang energy is almostcompletely dominant. This particularreading (no. 43) is called“Breakthrough” in many translations.The Book of Changes providesinterpretations of each reading, and ofeach line in the reading.

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The questioner throws three coinstogether, six times, and notes how many“heads” or “tails” are shown on thecoins after each throw. The questionerlooks up the result in a table whichindicates the relevant reading to beconsulted. According to the oldtradition, it is ‘“spiritual agencies,’acting in a mysterious way, that...give ameaningful answer.” In Jung’s view,the reading simply mirrors thequestioner’s inner situation in someway. Even in English translation, thevarious interpretations may seemobscure. They are full of unfamiliarimagery relating to life in ancientChina. The questioner needs someimagination in order to grasp ameaning that is relevant. For example,I might ask, “Should I change myjob?” If I receive reading no. 48, “TheWell,” I will read that the well remainsin the middle of the town and provideswater for all who go to it. I couldinterpret this as “Stay where you are,you are doing useful work.”

Jung acknowledges that a Westernpsychologist might say that Jung hadprojected his own unconsciouscontents into the interpretation of thehexagram. Yet that is exactly its value:to function as a mirror for our as-yetunrealized thoughts.

Too often Westerners use the IChing to predict what will happen ina particular situation, as a means offortune-telling. This is not itspurpose. The I Ching simply showshow things are for the questioner inthis moment when the coins arethrown; it shows the psychic energiesavailable at this moment. As Jungputs it, “The I Ching presupposesthat there is a synchronisticcorrespondence between the psychic

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state of the questioner and theanswering hexagram.”

Synchronicity is most easily definedas “a meaningful coincidence.” It is“a coincidence in time of two or morecausally unrelated events which havethe same or a similar meaning.” Oragain: “the simultaneous occurrence ofa certain psychic state with one ormore external events which appear asmeaningful parallels to the momentarysubjective state.” Marie-Louise vonFranz provides a helpful example:

If an aircraft crashes before my eyes as Iam blowing my nose, this is a coincidenceof events that has no meaning. It is simplya chance occurrence of a kind thathappens all the time. But if I bought ablue frock and, by mistake, the shopdelivered a black one on the day one ofmy near relatives died, this would be ameaningful coincidence. The two eventsare not causally related, but they areconnected by the symbolic meaning thatour society gives to the colour black.

Jung gives an example. He wasworking with a young woman andtalking about her dream of a goldenscarab, when a European form of scarabbeetle started knocking itself against thewindow pane, “which contrary to itsusual habits had evidently felt an urge toget into a dark room at this particularmoment.” Jung pointed out the parallel,and the shock of the coincidence wasenough to disturb her rigidly rationalattitude and allow the process oftransformation to begin. Jung notes thatthe scarab is an Egyptian symbol ofrebirth. The dead sun-god changeshimself into a scarab and “mounts thebarge which carries the rejuvenated sun-god into the morning sky.”

So the I Ching is based onsynchronicity. In fact, it is synchronicity

which is the real intellectual bombshell,and its implications have not yet beenabsorbed into Western thinking.Synchronicity does not attribute causeand effect to events, it stands beyondcausality. Synchronicity merely indicatesthat the coincidence of two eventsdemonstrates a meaning, and it is ameaning of which the individual was notpreviously aware.

G. Bright understands Jung to saythat “if meaningful coincidences cannotbe explainedcausally, thenthe connectingprinciple mustlie in the ‘equalsignificance’ ofparallel events.”So when twoevents create ameaningfulcoincidence,the symbolicmeaning thatthey have incommon is themeaning of thesynchronicity.Obviously nointerpretationof cause andeffect ispossible. Brightquotes Jung:“Causality isonly one

principle, and psychology...cannot beexhausted by causal methods only,because the mind lives by aims as well.”These are ultimately the aims of the Self,driving the development of theindividual’s personality towardswholeness. So a synchronicity, and itsmeaning for the individual, is the Self’seffort to further that individual’spersonality development, little by little.

Obviously we cannot know in detailwhere the Self is leading us; we can only

assimilate themeaning of themomentarysynchronicity. Forwork in therapy oranalysis, this meansthat anyinterpretations canonly be provisional.No-one canpresume to knowthe truth, andtherapy or analysismust always be ajoint search formeaning. Thisaccords with theview that no symbolcan ever be fullyknown, and canalways producefurther meanings.

The psychestretches outtowards infinity. As

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Synchronicity merely indicates that the coincidence of two events demonstratesa meaning, and it is a meaning of whichthe individual was not previously aware.

Jung puts it, “the psyche, in its deepestreaches, participates in a form ofexistence beyond space and time, andthus partakes of what is symbolicallydescribed as ‘eternity.’”

The Self does not only exist withinthe individual psyche: the Self iscollective. The individual simply hasaccess to the Self. The Self can bedescribed as having one face turnedtowards the transpersonal, and another

106 | PARABOLA

face turned towards the individualpersonality. When the Self initiates asynchronistic meaning, that meaningmust first exist in the collective ortranspersonal realm. The meaning isconveyed to the individual psyche onlyby the synchronistic event.

Our Western minds rebel against thisidea. We have always assumed thatmeaning is latent in the psyche of theindividual. If this were true for

synchronicity, then we would have to saythat the synchronicity was somehowbrought about by the individual. Theimplication would be that the individualpsyche works on matter, e.g., on theway the I Ching coins fall. Yet onlyspoon-benders have ever been able tochange matter through the mind.Usually it is magical thinking thatdeludes us into believing that we caninfluence matter or events simply byimagining, or by superstitious actions.In magical thinking, we believe that ourthoughts can affect the external world.That is impossible. So we cannot saythat the meaning within a synchronicityexists within the individual psyche.

Well, if the individual mind does notshape a synchronicity, what does? Whena synchronicity occurs, archetypalenergies have influenced matter, andperhaps events in time as well.Synchronicity clearly demonstrates thatarchetypal activity has the capacity toaffect both psyche and matter. Suchactivity specifically occurs outside theconscious realm, and outside the will ofthe individual. Both are excluded fromsuch activity. Jung called the archetypewhich straddles both matter and psychethe psychoid archetype. It is thepsychoid archetype—prompted by theSelf—that produces a synchronicity....

Once that link between mind andbody was established, the study ofpsychosomatic illness blossomed in thetwentieth century. The reader is referredto the article in this book onhomeopathy, a healing that works firston the spiritual level and permeates tothe physical level.

An indirect form of support forthese ideas of Jung’s came from thescience of atomic physics. Thetheories of quantum mechanics were

developing early in the twentiethcentury, at the time when Jung wasdeveloping his own ideas. Quantummechanics, also known as quantumphysics or quantum theory is,according to Wiki, “the body ofscientific principles that explains thebehaviour of matter and itsinteractions with energy on the scaleof atoms and subatomic particles.”Atomic scientists discovered that theelectrons in an atom can move inunpredictable ways. This researchshattered Newtonian laws of causeand effect, which had dominatedscience for the previous two hundredyears. The concept of acausality beganto emerge in atomic research.

Science students will know that inan atom, electrons rotate around thenucleus in a series of orbits. When anelectron takes on an extra charge ofenergy (when heat or electricity isapplied to the substance), the electronmoves up to a higher orbit for a time.This is known as a “quantum leap.” Itthen falls back to its previous orbit,emitting its added energy as a photon of light.

But significantly, when an atom isenergised it cannot be predicted whetherany given electron in it will traverse, forexample, from one orbit to another by goingfrom its home orbit to a higher orbit leveldirectly, or by stopping along the way atintermediate orbits.

So the quantum leaps of an electronseem to be acausal.

It was not only acausality, but also theidea of the psychoid archetype that fittedthe new theories of atomic physics. Oneof the leading researchers, WolfgangPauli, worked in analysis with Jung, andthe two men maintained a friendlycorrespondence. Pauli expresses one of

SPRING 2017 | 107

the laws of the newphysics that “theconsistent investigatorof the unknowninterior of the atomcould not help seeingthat the nature of theobserving processbecomes perceptible in the disturbancecaused by the observation.” This is ascientific expression of the linkbetween psyche and matter, or thepsychoid archetype.

Jung had a strong influence onPauli’s later work. “Pauli becameintensely interested in developing a newperspective that brought togetherphysics with Jung’s analytical psychologyyet transcended them both.” SinceEinstein’s time, it had been known thatlight behaves as both a wave and aparticle. The more light is measured asa wave, the less light seems like aparticle. Put more scientifically,

...objects have complementary propertiesthat cannot be measured at the same time.The more accurately one property ismeasured, the less accurately thecomplementary property is measured.

Werner Heisenberg and Niels Bohrmade an interpretation of themeaning of quantum mechanicsbetween 1925 and 1927. This isknown as the Copenhageninterpretation. Again, a link betweenmatter and psyche is implied.

According to the Copenhageninterpretation, physical systems generallydo not have definite properties prior tobeing measured, and quantummechanics can only predict theprobabilities that measurements willproduce certain results. The act ofmeasurement affects the system, causing

108 | PARABOLA

the set of probabilities to reduce to onlyone of the possible values immediatelyafter the measurement. This feature isknown as wave function collapse.

Pauli believed that this principle alsoexisted in the psyche. As he says,

...the concepts “conscious and ‘unconscious”seem[s] to offer a pretty close analogy to the“complementarity” situation in physics.Every “observation of the unconscious,” i.e.,every conscious realisation of unconsciouscontents, has an uncontrollable reactiveeffect on these same contents....

This inner and outer “mirroring”of the complementarity principle was,Pauli believed, an important stepforward in reconciling the oppositesof physics and the psyche.

So far, the definition ofsynchronicity used in this article hasbeen, “the coincidence of a psychicstate in the observer with asimultaneous, objective, externalevent that corresponds to the psychicstate or content (e.g., the scarab).”Where there is no evidence of a causalconnection between the psychic stateand the external event, Jung adds twoother categories of synchronicity. Oneis the coincidence of a psychic stateand an external event occurring at adistance. For example I may dream ofmy cousin’s car crash at the time itoccurs—in a foreign country.

The other category is thecoincidence of a psychic state and anexternal event occurring at a distancein time. For example I may have astrong intuition that my cousinshould not drive while she istravelling in Europe. Two weeks later,she has a car crash. These second twocategories can also be described asforms of telepathy. Jung points outthat the “psychic state” of telepathic

perceptions “occur as if in part therewere no space, in part no time”. Hesuggests an explanation:

In man’s original view of the world, aswe find it among primitives, space andtime have a very precarious existence.They became ‘fixed’ concepts only in thecourse of his mental development, thankslargely to the introduction ofmeasurement. In themselves, space andtime consist of nothing. They arehypostatised concepts born of thediscriminating activity of the consciousmind, and they form the indispensableco-ordinate for describing the behaviourof bodies in motion. They are, therefore,essentially psychic in origin....

Fascinatingly, Einstein’s theory ofrelativity includes the concept that“Measurements of various quantitiesare relative to the velocities ofobservers. In particular, spacecontracts and time dilates.” Of coursethe implications of all this are allhighly speculative.

The I Ching remains popular in theWest, but the world view on which itis based has had a far deeper influenceon Western culture. The I Ching hasplayed its part in helping Westernersto understand the unity of existence,

...that the outer world is also a subjectand when we experience our ownpersonality being reoriented through themeaningful activity of material events inthe outer world, we soften. The outerworld is no longer something to act onand control, it is a place asking us for arelationship....

Further:

For more and more people, the spirit nolonger comes down from above. Itemerges up from matter and is there forthose who are willing to accept the earth’s

complication and see the spirit in thestorms body and matter throw at us. This is Jung’s contribution to us andour time.

References:G. Bright, “Synchronicity as a Basis of AnalyticAttitude,” JOURNAL OF ANALYTICAL PSYCHOLOGY,October 1997, 613-35

A. Douglas, THE ORACLE OF CHANGES (Middlesex, UK:Penguin Books, 1971)

C. Dunne, CARL JUNG: WOUNDED HEALER OF THE SOUL

(New York: Parabola Books, 2000)

M. J. Greenberg, INTRODUCTION TO THE INTERPRETATION

OF NATURE AND THE PSYCHE (New York: Ishi Press,2012)

C. G. Jung, “On Synchronicity” in THE STRUCTURE

AND DYNAMICS OF THE PSYCHE (Princeton, NJ: CW 8Bollingen Series, Princeton University Press,1951)

C. G. Jung, ‘The Soul and Death’ in THE STRUCTURE

AND DYNAMICS OF THE PSYCHE, (Princeton, NJ: CW 8Bollingen Series, Princeton University Press,1934)

C. G. Jung, FOREWORD TO THE I CHING IN PSYCHOLOGY

AND RELIGION (Princeton, NJ: CW 11 BollingenSeries, Princeton University Press, 1950)

C. G. Jung, “Synchronicity, an AcausalConnecting Principle” in THE INTERPRETATION OF

NATURE AND THE PSYCHE (New York: Ishi Press, 2012)

A. S. Sabbadini, “Eranos, Synchronicity, and the IChing” in SPRING, Vol. 92 Spring 2015, NewOrleans

J. G. Sparks, AT THE HEART OF MATTER: SYNCHRONICITY

AND JUNG’S SPIRITUAL TESTAMENT (Toronto: Inner CityBooks, 2007)

M-L. Von Franz in eds. C. G. Jung & M-L. vonFranz, Man and his Symbols (London: AldusBooks, 1964)

THE I CHING OR BOOK OF CHANGES (Princeton, NJ:CW 9 Bollingen Series, Princeton UniversityPress, 1961)

Wikipedia website: “Theory of Relativity”

SPRING 2017 | 109

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1:1 THE HERO In quest of the meaning of Self1:2 MAGIC The power that transforms1:3 INITIATION A portal to rebirth1:4 RITES OF PASSAGE Symbols and rituals of transformation

2:1 DEATH Beyond the limits of the known2:2 CREATION From formlessness, something new2:3 COSMOLOGY The order of things, seen and unseen2:4 RELATIONSHIPS Our interwoven human experience

3:1 SACRED SPACE Landscapes, temples, the inner terrain3:2 SACRIFICE & TRANSFORMATION Stepping into a holy fire3:3 INNER ALCHEMY Refining the gold within3:4 ANDROGYNY The fusion of male and female

4:1 THE TRICKSTER Guide, mischief-maker, master of disguise4:2 SACRED DANCE Moving to worship, moving to transcend4:3 THE CHILD Setting out from innocence4:4 STORYTELLING & EDUCATION Speaking to young minds

5:1 THE OLD ONES Visions of our elders5:2 MUSIC, SOUND, & SILENCE Echoes of stillness5:3 OBSTACLES In the way, or the Way itself?5:4 WOMAN In search of the feminine

6:1 EARTH & SPIRIT Opposites or complements?6:2 THE DREAM OF PROGRESS Our modern fantasy6:3 MASK & METAPHOR When things are not as they seem6:4 DEMONS Spirits of the dark

7:1 SLEEP To be restored, or to forget7:2 DREAMS & SEEING Visions, fantasy, and the unconscious7:3 CEREMONIES Seeking divine service7:4 HOLY WAR Conflict for the sake of reconciliation

8:1 GUILT The burden of conscience8:2 ANIMALS The nature of the creature world8:3 WORDS OF POWER Secret words, magic spells, divine utterances8:4 SUN & MOON Partners in time as fields of force

9:1 HIERARCHY The ladder of the sacred9:2 THEFT The paradox of possession9:3 PILGRIMAGE Journey toward the holy9:4 FOOD Nourishing body and spirit

10:1 WHOLENESS The hunger for completion10:2 EXILE Cut off from the homeland of meaning10:3 THE BODY Half dust, half deity10:4 THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS The mystery of goodness

11:1 THE WITNESS Silent guides and unsleeping eyes11:2 MIRRORS That which reflects the real11:3 SADNESS The transformation of tragedy11:4 MEMORY & FORGETTING What we remember and why

12:1 THE KNIGHT & THE HERMIT Heroes of action and reflection12:2 ADDICTION The prison of human craving12:3 FORGIVENESS The past transcended12:4 THE SENSE OF HUMOR Walking with laughter

13:1 THE CREATIVE RESPONSE To represent the sacred13:2 REPETITION & RENEWAL Respecting the rhythm of growth13:3 QUESTIONS The road to understanding13:4 THE MOUNTAIN A meeting place of Earth and Heaven

14:1 DISCIPLES & DISCIPLINE Teachers, masters, students, fools14:2 TRADITION & TRANSMISSION Passages from wisdom into wisdom14:3 THE TREE OF LIFE Root, trunk, and crown of our search14:4 TRIAD Sacred and secular laws of three

15:1 TIME & PRESENCE How to welcome the present moment15:2 ATTENTION What animates mind, body, and feeling15:3 LIBERATION Freedom from what, freedom for what?15:4 HOSPITALITY Care in human relationships

16:1 MONEY Exchange between humans, and with the divine16:2 THE HUNTER Stalking great knowledge 16:3 CRAFT The skill that leads to creation 16:4 THE GOLDEN MEAN Balance between defect and excess

17:1 SOLITUDE & COMMUNITY The self, alone and with others17:2 LABYRINTH The path to inner treasure17:3 THE ORAL TRADITION Transmission by spoken word and silence17:4 POWER & ENERGY The stunning array of atom and cosmos

18:1 HEALING The return to a state of health18:2 PLACE & SPACE Seeking the holy in mountain, sea,and vale18:3 CROSSROADS The meeting place of traditions and ideas18:4 THE CITY Hub of the human world

19:1 THE CALL To ask for help, to receive what is given19:2 TWINS The two who come from one19:3 CLOTHING Concealing and revealing our inner selves19:4 HIDDEN TREASURE Value, hope, and knowledge

20:1 EARTH, AIR, WATER, FIRE Essential elements of all things20:2 THE STRANGER Messenger or deceiver, savior or threat20:3 LANGUAGE & MEANING Communication, symbol, and sign20:4 EROS Human sexuality and the life of the spirit

21:1 PROPHETS & PROPHECY Seeing beyond the veil21:2 THE SOUL Life within and beyond our corporeal existence21:3 PEACE Seeking inner and outer tranquility21:4 PLAY & WORK Struggle and release in the search for meaning

22:1 WAYS OF KNOWING Different avenues to truth 22:2 THE SHADOW Cast by the light we follow22:3 CONSCIENCE & CONSCIOUSNESS Inner guides to understanding one’s being22:4 MIRACLES Enigmatic breaks in the laws of nature

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23:1 MILLENNIUM To what end, to what beginning?23:2 ECSTASY Joy that transports us outside of ourselves23:3 FEAR Sign of weakness, or of strength?23:4 BIRTH AND REBIRTH Journey toward renewal

24:1 NATURE Exploring inner and outer terrain24:2 PRAYER & MEDITATION Petition, praise, gratitude, confession

24:3 NUMBER & SYMBOL Languages that disclose the real24:4 EVIL The duality within us, within the world25:1 THRESHOLD Neither here nor there, real nor imaginary 25:2 RIDDLE & MYSTERY Questions and answers25:3 THE TEACHER One who shows the way25:4 FATE AND FORTUNE Inevitabilities that speak to us26:1 THE GARDEN Cultivating within and without26:2 LIGHT That which illuminates our inner and outer darkness26:3 THE FOOL In search of divine innocence26:4 THE HEART Where the quest begins and ends27:1 THE EGO AND THE “I” Which one is real?27:2 DYING Ending or beginning of transformation?27:3 GRACE Gifts bestowed from above27:4 WAR Violence as a means to an end28:1 COMPASSION Actions that embrace others28:2 PRISON Inner and outer confinement28:3 CHAOS AND ORDER The interplay of creative forces28:4 TRUTH AND ILLUSION Seeking clarity amidst confusion

29:1 MARRIAGE Union with the Other29:2 WEB OF LIFE The interrelationship of being29:3 THE SEEKER In search of the Way29:4 FRIENDSHIP Companions on the path

30:1 AWAKENING Casting off slumber30:2 RESTRAINT The power of not doing30:3 BODY AND SOUL Two mysteries30:4 FUNDAMENTALISM Getting out of the box

31:1 COMING TO OUR SENSES Shaking our senses free31:2 ABSENCE AND LONGING The path of yearning31:3 THINKING Thinking as prayer31:4 HOME The homes of great spiritual leaders

32:1 FAITH Seven great acts of faith32:2 SEX Spiritual teachings on sex32:3 HOLY EARTH Our sacred planet32:4 THE NEW WORLD Frontiers of the spiritual33:1 SILENCE The place of not speaking33:2 GOD Approaching the Unknown33:3 MAN & MACHINE Traditions & technology33:4 JUSTICE The Divine measure34:1 IMAGINATION The story issue34:2 WATER The sacred element

34:3 THE PATH Finding the right way34:4 THE FUTURE The way ahead35:1 LOVE The divine energy35:2 LIFE AFTER DEATH Beyond the known35:3 DESIRE What compels our lives?35:4 BEAUTY What transports us; where do we look?36:1 SUFFERING To be with it, and to let it be36:2 GIVING & RECEIVING Gift of life, flow of mediating energies36:3 SEEING An act of attentiveness in body,mind, and heart36:4 MANY PATHS ONE TRUTH Finding thelight, within and without37:1 BURNING WORLD Healing a world in crisis37:2 ALONE & TOGETHER Balancing solitude and community37:3 THE UNKNOWN We, ourselves, are the deepest unknown37:4 SCIENCE & SPIRIT How both serve to apprehend Reality

38:1 SPIRIT IN THE WORLD Reflections on embodiment38:2 HEAVEN & HELL Symbolic and timeless, real and present38:3 POWER Ancient power, new power, sustaining force38:4 LIBERATION & LETTING GO Freedom comes with unbinding

39:1 WISDOM The ability to perceive reality with equanimity39:2 EMBODIMENT The quest for living truth39:3 SPIRITUAL PRACTICE To make room within for the sacred39:4 GOODNESS An echo of the call to come together

40:1 SIN Missing the mark, staining the inner life 40:2 ANGELS & DEMONS Eternal forms for struggle40:3 INTELLIGENCE Reciprical sharing, human & divine 40:4 FREE WILL & DESTINY What is written, and how do our choices matter?

41:1 THE DIVINE FEMININE Creation and the mystery of renewal41:2 INNOCENCE & EXPERIENCE Seeing life anew every moment41:3 WAYS OF HEALING Paths toward wholeness41:4 GENEROSITY & SERVICE To give is divineWINTER 2016-2017

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In 1895, Oscar Wilde, the most celebrated literary figure of his age, was convicted of“gross indecency” for homosexual activity and was sentenced to two years in prison. Whilebehind bars, Wilde wrote a fifty-thousand word letter to his lover, Lord Alfred Douglas,later published as the book DE PROFUNDIS. What follows is a brief excerpt from that work.–The Editors

THE GODS HAD GIVEN ME ALMOST EVERYTHING. But I let myselfbe lured into long spells of senseless and sensual ease. I amusedmyself with being a flâneur, a dandy, a man of fashion. I

surrounded myself with the smaller natures and the meaner minds. Ibecame the spendthrift of my own genius, and to waste an eternal youthgave me a curious joy. Tired of being on the heights, I deliberately wentto the depths in the search for new sensation. What the paradox was tome in the sphere of thought, perversity became to me in the sphere ofpassion. Desire, at the end, was a malady, or a madness, or both. I grewcareless of the lives of others. I took pleasure where it pleased me, andpassed on. I forgot that every little action of the common day makes orunmakes character, and that therefore what one has done in the secretchamber one has some day to cry aloud on the housetop. I ceased to belord over myself. I was no longer the captain of my soul, and did notknow it. I allowed pleasure to dominate me. I ended in horrible disgrace.There is only one thing for me now, absolute humility.

SPRING 2017 | 113

You Will Find It Waiting for YoulëÅ~ê=táäÇÉ

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I have lain inprison for nearlytwo years. Out ofmy nature has comewild despair; anabandonment togrief that waspiteous even tolook at; terrible andimpotent rage;bitterness andscorn; anguish thatwept aloud; miserythat could find novoice; sorrow thatwas dumb. I havepassed throughevery possiblemood of suffering.Better thanWordsworthhimself I knowwhat Wordsworthmeant when he said—

Suffering is permanent, obscure, and dark

And has the nature of infinity.

But while there were times when Irejoiced in the idea that my sufferingswere to be endless, I could not bearthem to be without meaning. Now Ifind hidden somewhere away in mynature something that tells me thatnothing in the whole world ismeaningless, and suffering least of all.That something hidden away in mynature, like a treasure in a field, isHumility.

It is the last thing left in me, and thebest: the ultimate discovery at which Ihave arrived, the starting-point for afresh development. It has come to meright out of myself, so I know that it hascome at the proper time. It could not

114 | PARABOLA

have come before, nor later. Had anyone told me of it, I would have rejectedit. Had it been brought to me, I wouldhave refused it. As I found it, I want tokeep it. I must do so. It is the one thingthat has in it the elements of life, of anew life, Vita Nuova for me. Of allthings it is the strangest. One cannotacquire it, except by surrenderingeverything that one has. It is only whenone has lost all things, that one knowsthat one possesses it.

Now I have realized that it is in me, Isee quite clearly what I ought to do; infact, must do. And when I use such aphrase as that, I need not say that I amnot alluding to any external sanction orcommand. I admit none. I am far moreof an individualist than I ever was.Nothing seems to me of the smallestvalue except what one gets out ofoneself. My nature is seeking a fresh

mode of self-realization. That is all I amconcerned with. And the first thing thatI have got to do is to free myself fromany possible bitterness of feeling againstthe world.

I am completely penniless, andabsolutely homeless. Yet there are worsethings in the world than that. I am quitecandid when I say that rather than goout from this prison with bitterness inmy heart against the world, I wouldgladly and readily beg my bread fromdoor to door. If I got nothing from thehouse of the rich I would get somethingat the house of the poor. Those whohave much are often greedy; those whohave little always share. I would not a bitmind sleeping in the cool grass insummer, and when winter came onsheltering myself by the warm close-thatched rick, or under the penthouse ofa great barn, provided I had love in my

heart. The externalthings of life seem to menow of no importance atall. You can see to whatintensity of individualismI have arrived—or amarriving rather, for thejourney is long, and“where I walk there arethorns.”

Of course I know thatto ask alms on thehighway is not to be mylot, and that if ever I liein the cool grass atnight-time it will be towrite sonnets to themoon. When I go out ofprison, R— will bewaiting for me on theother side of the bigiron-studded gate, andhe is the symbol, not

merely of his own affection, but of theaffection of many others besides. Ibelieve I am to have enough to live onfor about eighteen months at any rate,so that if I may not write beautifulbooks, I may at least read beautifulbooks; and what joy can be greater?After that, I hope to be able to recreatemy creative faculty.

But were things different: had I not afriend left in the world; were there not asingle house open to me in pity; had I toaccept the wallet and ragged cloak ofsheer penury: as long as I am free fromall resentment, hardness and scorn, Iwould be able to face the life with muchmore calm and confidence than I wouldwere my body in purple and fine linen,and the soul within me sick with hate.

And I really shall have no difficulty.When you really want love you will findit waiting for you.

SPRING 2017 | 115

IN THE BEGINNING WAS LOVE: Contemplative Words of Robert LaxROBERT LAX. S.T. GEORGIOU, EDITOR. TEMPLEGATE (WWW.TEMPLEGATE.COM), 2015.

PP. 136. $15.95 PAPER

Reviewed by Richard Whittaker

THIS BOOK CAME INTO MY HANDS UNEXPECTEDLY.Perhaps I’d consider reviewing it. Then I noticed thename on the cover: Robert Lax. Oh, my. That took me

back. I’d run across his name decades earlier, but hadn’t takenthe time to acquaint myself with his work. There was aconnection with Thomas Merton, wasn’t there? And lingering inmemory was my impression of Lax as a singular figure.

116 | PARABOLA

Book Review

SPRING 2017 | 117

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In the book’s foreword, JonathanMontaldo writes of Lax that “hesubdued fame. [I]f anyone else read hiswork it was purely through grace, andhe left it at that.” This was no smallthing because as a young man, Laxwrote for TIME magazine, was an editorfor the NEW YORKER, and founded thepeace magazine PAX. In other words, hewas well positioned to make a name forhimself. But as the compiler and editorof this anthology, S.T. Georgiou, writes,“Lax’s attitude, even in terms ofwriting, was purified of notions ofreputation, success; rather it wassteeped in disinterestedness, in holiness,charity….” Georgiou adds that Laxadvised his friend, Merton, not to aimat being a good Catholic, but at

118 | PARABOLA

becoming a saint. And lest this soundtoo wild, he adds that Paul the Apostlewrote in the EPISTLES that all men arecalled to be saints.

So now the time had come,apparently, for me to meet thismysterious figure—with Georgiou, whohad known Lax, as intermediary. Hemet Lax in 1993 on Patmos—serendipitously, as he writes. Then, aftermeeting the poet/sage, he, along withother ardent searchers, intermittentlyreturned to the isle to meet with himuntil his death in 2000.

Turning my attention to this smallvolume, my intuition that a raredocument had come into my hands wasquickly confirmed. Not everyone mightfeel this way. One could come to the

The REALITY of Being, DECODEDByMitzi DeWhitt

This daring and elucidating book, a rare find, takes the reader on a journey through usually inaccessible ideas of the Gurdjieff Work. The reality being decoded here concerns certain specific frequencies —396 417 528 — the signs by which Being makes itself felt, and whosesound understanding derives from the enneagram.

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etation pream InterDrAncient and Modern

om the Seminar Notes frGiven in 1936–1941

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work of Robert Lax too soon and missits depth. But eventually one couldwelcome with gratitude, even with joy,his discernment that stripped away allembellishment. The simplicity of hiswriting is the reduction that makes clearwhat one has glimpsed and lost sight ofover and over again.

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This bread is bread. This wine is wine. Thisbread is bread. This wine is wine. Thesehands are hands. These hands are hands.This bread is bread. This wine is wine.

As Georgiou writes, the inner life ofRobert Lax is the primary theme of thisanthology. And he quotes Merton: “Laxwas much wiser than I, had clearervision … he had seen what was the oneimportant thing.”

122 | PARABOLA

For the man one talks to(when one talks to the inner self)is not at all the man the world knows.It can almost be saidhe is not the manthe man himself knows.

Reading Lax’s work, I found myselfthinking about his contemporary, theartist Agnes Martin. She worked“with her back to the world,” as shewrote. I see them as much alike. Bothfound something that’s deeply absentin today’s culture. What Martin found

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after many years of searching, andwhich provided direction, she calledhumility. She also said “all art isabout beauty.” In essence, humilitypermits entrance for the luminous,which is one way of describing thework and life of Robert Lax.

As noted in the book’s foreword,“These poems and meditationscollected by a foremost student ofLax’s literary work come just at theright time. We live in a confusion ofwords, pronouncements and points ofview; nothing centrally meaningfulseems to hold.”

Where, one might ask, can we turnfor wisdom? It’s a question Lax ponders.

what is the value of wisdom? many values,but perhaps the most obvious, the most

nearly tangible:the value of survival.

This echoes what I heard a TibetanBuddhist, Lobsang Rapgay, aprofessional psychologist from LosAngeles, say at a conference of spiritualleaders in the 1980s. He spoke ofaesthetic thought. It wasn’t clear to mewhat he meant by that, exactly. Thatkind of thought, he said, was difficult.In the West we were too exhausted tobe able to practice it. He went on to saythat when it reached a certain level, thenuminous could be brought down intocirculation in a culture. Without that, hesaid, a culture could not survive.

Richard Whittaker is the West Coasteditor of Parabola and the foundingeditor of works & conversations.

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HappinessThe next issue of

PARABOLAFall 2017:

THE SACRED

Winter 2017-2018: GRATITUDE

SPRING 2017 | 127

PROFILESSAMUEL BERCHOLZ, the founder ofShambhala Publications, has taughtBuddhist philosophy and meditationfor more than forty years.

CAROL BERRY has for many years lec-tured and led retreats on the spiritualteaching of Henri Nouwen andVincent van Gogh.

CYNTHIA BOURGEAULT is an Episcopalpriest, teacher, and retreat leader.Among her many books are THE

MEANING OF MARY MAGDALENE and THE

HOLY TRINITY AND THE LAW OF THREE.

TRACY COCHRAN is editorial director of Parabola.

HENRY FERSKO-WEISS is executivedirector of the International End-of-Life Doula Association.

FRAN GRACE serves as professor of reli-gious studies and steward of the med-itation program at the University ofRedlands in California.

SUSAN ISHMAEL works as a freelancewriter and editor and has had shortstories, poetry, and articles publishedin multiple magazines, newspapers,and journals. She is the co-founder ofWhatWomenWriteTX.blogspot.com,a blog devoted to issues of writingcraft and publishing.

ANNETTE LOWE is a Jungian analyst inprivate practice. Her first book, JUNG

TALKS (2011), celebrated fifty yearsof the C.G. Jung Society ofMelbourne, Australia.

MAURICE NICOLL (1884-1953) was aBritish psychiatrist and a student ofG.I. Gurdjieff and P.D. Ouspensky.

DIAN DUCHIN REED has been a studentof the Dao De Jing and practitioner oftaiji quan for more than three

decades. Her new book, translatedfrom the Chinese, is DAO DE JING:LAOZI’S TIMELESS WISDOM (HumanitasPress, 2016). Learn more atwww.dianduchinreed.com.

JAMES HUGHES REHO is an Episcopalpriest, a yoga instructor, and aKirtan leader who has been initiatedinto several spiritual lineages, bothEast and West. He now serves asSenior Pastor of Lamb of GodLutheran Episcopal Church in Ft.Myers, Florida.

NEIL RUSCH is an independent pub-lisher, editor, and author. His mostrecent work is SONQUA: SOUTHERN SAN

HISTORY AND ART AFTER CONTACT, byPieter Jolly.

TCHESLAW TCHEKHOVITCH (1900-1958) was a longtime student ofG.I. Gurdjieff.

ALAN WATTS (1915–1973) was a popu-lar interpreter of Eastern philosophyin the West. He spoke to millionsthrough his recordings, radio broad-casts, and books, including such clas-sics as THE WISDOM OF INSECURITY, BECOME

WHAT YOU ARE, and his new book,adapted from recordings of live pre-sentations by his son and archivist,Mark Watts, OUT OF YOUR MIND:TRICKSTERS, INDEPENDENCE, AND THE COSMIC

GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK (Sounds True,March 2017).

RICHARD WHITTAKER is the foundingeditor of works & conversations andWest Coast editor of Parabola.

OSCAR WILDE (1854-1900) was the Irish author of such classics as THE PORTRAIT OF DORIAN GRAY, THE

IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST, and DE PROFUNDIS.

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ENDPOINT

WE SHOULD UNDERSTAND WELL that all things are the work of theGreat Spirit. We should know that He is within all things: thetrees, the grasses, the rivers, the mountains, and all the four-

legged animals, and all the winged peoples; and even more important, weshould understand that He is also above all these things and peoples.—Black Elk1

1

New York Center for Jungian Studies

Have Jung ,Will Travel!

The New York Center for Jungian Studies’ programs are open to the general public and mental health professionals. Each week provides an exceptional opportunity for interested participants from all backgrounds: CE credits avaialable. Accommodations are deluxe and the food is gourmet. Optional outtings to unique sites enhance the experience.

For more information or to register nyjungcenter.org • jofisher@nyjungcenter.org • 845-256-0191Subscribe online to the center’s email list — receive timely updates about the faculty, session topics, and more.

Travel and Study TourBARCELONA, SPAINKabbalah and the Western Mystical TraditionNOVEMBER 5–12, 2017Explore some of the great mystical paradigms of the West — from the Kabbalah to Christian and Islamic mysticism — with an outstanding faculty, including Dr. Ann Belford Ulanov and Professor Raymond Scheindlin. Visit splendid museums and experience firsthand some of Northern Spain’s striking architecture and landscape.

17th AnnualJUNG IN IRELANDAging with Panache: Later Life is NowMARCH 31—APRIL 7, 2017Join us in Galway this Spring and enjoy a unique learning vacation in Ireland. A combination of many workshops to choose from and superb accommodations on Galway Bay insure an experience not to be missed. Our outstanding and distinguished faculty includes Jean Bolen, Erik Goodwyn, Alan Guggenbuhl, Christine Mulvey, Nóirín Ní Riain, and Monika Wikman, among others.