Sheets of SobrietyFinding Hope in Sobriety 11:18:51 PM] Sheets of …

Finding Hope in Sobriety

https://us15.campaign-archive.com/?u=e88c06528c4f4f9f727842ddf&id=7cdf96da8a[9/14/2020 11:18:51 PM]

Sheets of SobrietySeptember 2020

[email protected]

IN THIS ISSUE

Live and Let Live

Interview with an "Old-Timer"


Not a Glum Lot

History of AA

Indianapolis IntergroupAnnouncements

October's Topic

Subscribe Past Issues RSSTranslate

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Your replies to what this slogan means to you

"It means stay in my

lane and worry about

my own stuff. And

"Mind my own

business!!!!"



don’t get pissy when

you put butter on the

wrong side of your

toast like the

godless heathen

abomination against

nature that you

obviously.... sorry.

Happened again."

"Tighten my Hula Hoop

and mind my own

business."

"Love & Tolerance"

"Mind my own

business."

"My recovery is a

high maintenance

project. I don't have

time to manage anyone

else's project!!"

"Our code is love &

tolerance."

"Take care of my side

of the street. Let

you take care of

"Put my nose back on

my face."

"4th tradition

applied to my

relationships."

"You spot it, you got

it."

"This too will pass"

"Don't judge people"

"We are all human and

make mistakes."

"Only focus on what’s

inside my hoolahoop!"

"Principles before

Personalities"

"Stop trying to be

the director!"

"Hoopla"



yours."

"Mind your own

business"

"Just what it says

"Allow others the

right to be wrong."

"It is not my job,

nor does it serve my

serenity, to be the

arbiter of another

person's affairs."



Interview withan Old-Timer

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1hZVnOhZcUmEBPEpJ2lWrq0N_jTrpVSAZMjrve3Dch8k/edit#gid=2100526923



1) Why did you come to AA?

Without me realizing it, alcohol had become an

obsession and became more important to me than

everything else. The thought of not drinking

scared me to

death. If I was breathing I was drinking. I had

made so many promises to myself NOT to drink but

to drink was my answer to everything and always

won out. A good friend of mine (an active member

of Al-Anon) who I like to call my ‘guardian

angel’ came to me one morning to borrow

something. And I was drunk while ‘cleaning’ my

house. We had known each other for a few years

and she had confided in me about her husbands

struggle with alcohol and she had watched me

steadily decline. She 12th stepped me and said

some things like did I realize how I was killing

myself with alcohol. She spoke lovingly and so

tenderly about her feelings and how there was

another way to live and asked me if I would go

with her to an AA meeting that night. Out of my

mouth God said YES.

2) What was your first meeting like?

I was terrified and was so hung over and my mind

told me that an alcoholic was a man who wore a

trench coat and lived under a bridge or slept on

a park bench and drank out of a paper bag and

had expected to see that. That is not who I was.

I sat in the very back of the room with my

friend and heard a woman named Vicki tell her

story and I remember two things from that

meeting: she said she was from Texas and also

that she had asked God for help. At the end of



the meeting in Maryland they give out chips for

various lengths of sobriety. I don’t remember

making a conscious decision to get a 24 hour

chip, but when they asked is there anyone who

wants a different way of life, somehow I walked

to the front of the room and received my 24 hour

AA chip. And that night I went home and asked

God to remove my desire to drink and slept

clutching my 24 hour chip. When I woke up the

next morning I knew that God had heard and

answered my prayer.

3) What was the most memorable thing someone did

or said to you in your first years of sobriety?

Wow sooo many lets see: When I was able to say

that I was alcoholic the first time (2 weeks

coming to AA) a freedom came over me like I had

never felt and I asked the people in the room

what do I do now and they said Change one thing

and that one thing was Everything! I didn’t want

to hear that and it overwhelmed me and I asked

How do I change - They told me HOW - Honesty,

Openminded and Willingness are the keys and they

also introduced me to The Serenity Prayer. My

first sponsor had me think of these three things

before saying anything to anyone in response: Is

It True, Is It Kind, Is It Necessary. That was

tough and very hard to put into practice in my

life but I did it, slowly but surely. And to

this day my AA filter and God have me respond

with those three things in mind. It just

happens! Also Having a resentment is like taking

poison and expecting the other person to die! I

had no idea my mind was so consumed with

resentments!



4) Why have you stayed and why do you keep

coming back?

I don’t want to drink today and feel want to be

an example for others who may have felt the same

way as I did when I first came in. I must

continue to do what I am doing in order to stay

sober. The people in AA have loved me so

unconditionally and been such an example of

God’s grace and love and helped me to see my own

truths and that by working the Steps and seeking

God in everything CHANGE has occurred in me. The

12 steps are summed up in 6 words for me: Trust

God, Clean House and Help Others. I have to give

it away to keep it. I am blessed that the desire

for alcohol has been removed and that was only

the beginning. I am no longer a selfish and

self-consumed unloving creature - I am a cracked

pot and I want God to shine thru me to others.

5) What does Hope mean to you?

Hearing Other People Experience. I heard that at

my first meeting - Noone one has ever TOLD me to

do something in AA. They have just told me their

experience, strength and their hope for their

lives. If I want to stay miserable I’ll keep

doing what I was doing, but if I hear and see a

joyous being I want what they have and will

attempt to do what they have done.

6) What does fear mean to you?

Face Everything And Recover. I did not realize

how so many of my actions were fear based and

that I also caused fear in others. By working

the steps and using other tools, prayers,

meditation...and when I am fearful I ask God to



remove it or clarity why I am having it.

7) Have you had a spiritual awakening?

As a result of working the steps my entire way

of thinking has changed. God has infiltrated

every aspect of my being, my heart and my

thoughts. I did not have a personal relationship

with God prior to coming into AA. Slowly, very

slowly I began to ask for His guidance and the

more the I did and do, my old way of thinking

has disappeared and been replaced with love,

kindness, tolerance and gratitude for His

direction and everyone I meet in this beautiful

day He gives me. Yes I’ve had a spiritual

awakening - Thank you God and the amazing people

I’ve met in AA.

8) What was your hardest amends?

To my older sister - for 42 years I lived in a

different state than her and held some

resentments against her as well. It never

occurred to me that I needed to make an amends

to her. A few years ago I started seeing a

therapist and did some intense work and my heart

softened and changed where my sister was

concerned. My sister and I took a 4 day road

trip in California after my daughters wedding

and I had the opportunity while traveling to

make my amends and I was sober 17 years and it

was an amazing conversation that she and I had.

It was quite beautiful and tears of joy came

from both of us and we are much closer since the

amends.

9) Tell me about how you work steps 10 and 11?



Was I a creator of confusion or harmony today? I

try to live my life for others and show up and

do what I can in each and every situation. God

puts on my heart when I was in the wrong I will

take the action to resolve what I did. I pray

every morning and read 24 hours a day book every

day since I came into AA. I used to mediate

sometimes or go to meditation meetings

sometimes. But I have been meditating every

morning since January 6, 2020 and it is amazing

the peace and calm and love I feel from it and

take into my day. I also read pages 84-88 every

day as a reminder of what I need to do when

throughout my day.

10)What is the best advice you would say to a

newcomer?

Trust God, Clean House and Help Others. God

gives us a day and what will we do with this

gift from HIM?

ODAT - One Day at a Time. Every morning I

rededicate myself to AA and ask

God to be of help and service to Him and others.

~Anonymous~



Submit your story - [email protected]

Alcoholism sucks. Before I even knew that I was an alcoholic,or what an alcoholic truly was, it had a hold of me. King Alcoholtwisted my thoughts & kept me in the wrong frame of mind for

many years.

I am a survivor of multiple suicide attempts & self mutilation.After my 1st attempt at cutting my wrists when I was 13 I became

obsessed with cutting myself. From that time on I was lost in adark place where I didn't value my own life.



I believed my father's hurtful, abusive words & my self esteemfell to less than zero. I thought that I didn't deserve to live. I

begged my God to just end me. I couldn't understand why Hewould leave me to rot from the inside on this planet. I dove head

first into any bottle I could get my hands on.

I met my 1st wife shortly after turning 21. By that time mydrinking career was well under way. It was a marriage held

together by booze & drugs. I already had a concept of my ownhigher power, that wasn't the angry God of the churches I grew

up going to, & I considered myself spiritual.

I had gone a few years without a suicide attempt & even hadstarted to get my arms tattooed so that I would stop cutting

myself.

One night we got into a drunken argument & I ended upgrabbing the .38 special from our bedroom. I dumped all of thebullets out & then loaded 1 into it & spun the cylinder. I pulledthe trigger twice with the barrel pointed at my head. I went to

pull it a 3rd time & clearly heard a voice telling me that the bulletwas in that chamber. I pulled the barrel up at the last second &

the bullet grazed my head.

This was my first real spiritual experience. It was then that Ibegan to think that I was still alive for a reason. However, that

didn't stop my thoughts from trying to kill me.

Fast forward a few years. That marriage fell apart. I got lostdeeper in the world of alcohol & drugs. Toss in a few more timesthat I just didn't have the "courage" to end my life. Then, I met

the woman that I've been married to for the last 12 years.

She was the first person that told me that I was an alcoholic thatI actually heard. I first put the bottle down shortly after we got

married. I spent my thirties white knuckling sobriety withmultiple relapses & no program to help me. Our oldest was

diagnosed with cancer when she was 4. That sent me spiralingout of control & into a bottle.



I never completely crawled back out of that particular bottle.My mind kept telling me that I was worthless & not worthy of myfamily. Suicidal thoughts occupied my mind constantly. I lived

with my head constantly in a dark cloud. My doctor put me on anantidepressant. It helped some.

Fast forward again to a few years ago. I have Crohn's disease &from that arthritis all over my body. I had to have a spinal

fusion. Got put on pain meds & even had to start taking chemofor the arthritis. I had my first seizure a week after my spine

surgery.

I'm a welder by trade. I built cranes. It was rough on the body,but I was providing for my family. Once my health started goingsouth King Alcohol really kicked it into overdrive. I got deeply

depressed & my head filled with darkness. I was the provider formy family & that was slipping away. I kept sinking farther into

depression. I thought about suicide every single day.

Luckily I had a supervisor that knew the signs & he got me to goto my doctor. He sent me to a psychiatric nurse practitioner. She

put me on 2 different antidepressants.

I had a seizure that killed me & my very pregnant wife had togive my CPR until I came back. I woke up kicking & screaming inthe hospital. Another seizure followed a few months later. It was

becoming clear that I wasn't going to be able to provide for myfamily much longer. Again, King Alcohol & depression kicked

into hyper drive.

I tried & failed again at taking my life. This time with my sleepmeds. I was so disappointed when I woke up. The dark voice in

my head kept telling me that my family would be better offwithout me.

So I plotted & even researched better ways to end it all. Thethoughts smashing around inside my head for months as it

became crystal clear that I would have to go on disability & takeover the homeschool responsibilities while my wife would have

to go back into the workforce.



Christmas Eve of 2019, my 40th birthday, I finally hit mybottom. I was drunk off of my ass on Crown Royal, trying to

explain to my 6 year old how all of the shows & movies & booksof Star Wars tie together at 3am, & woke up the entire house. Mywife took the kids to a friend's house so that they didn't have tosee me drunk. The look on their faces scared the sobriety into

me.

Jump to February 9th 2020 & I took my last pain pill. I had mydoctor stop the prescription. I walked into my 1st AA meeting

about a week later. Then COVID-19 hit & my ability to get my AAmedicine started to dwindle. My immune system is suppressed

due to my Crohn's disease so I'm a high risk individual.

I finally found the Lost & Found 24/7 group on Zoom & I washome. Still, King Alcohol & the darkness in my head would not

relent. One night I took a lifting strap, fastened a slip knot with it& tried it on for size. The thought of what I would do to my

children by committing suicide made me stop.

Thank God that I had built a network of true AA friends thatnoticed a change in me & reached out to me. They saved my life &

pulled me out of the mire.

See, the fellowship is the greatest tool in my toolbox. At 1st I didwhat I wasn't supposed to do: I cut myself off & locked myself inmy head. My AA network of friends is what pulled me from my

head & got me using my tools.

I just passed my 6th month of sobriety. I still battle KingAlcohol & the darkness, but now I have my AA toolbox & network

plus my sponsor to rely on.

I thank my God & AA for my life now. The program works & I'vemet some of my truest friends through the Lost & Found

recovery group. I wouldn't be alive without them.

~Anonymous



I am an alcoholic because once I pick up a drink, I can’t stop. For me, it is the phenomenon of craving that really gets me. Inretrospect, I think the real reason I drank and drugged was to

get away from me and my thinking. When a non-alcoholicdrinks alcohol, they don’t have the CONSTANT mental obsessionor physical craving that tells them, “I need more, I always need

to be drunk to feel normal or asking themselves, when can Idrink again?” And of course, this has happened to me every timeI made the decision to pick up a drink. It was never putting that

first drink to my mouth that got me drunk. It was what isbetween my ears that did. I had no defense against that first

drink. Thank God, this obsession has now been removed. I firstcame to Alcoholics Anonymous not because I didn’t want to

drink anymore, but to get everyone off my ass that told me I hada problem. Back then, I didn’t understand it wasn’t everyone

else that was the problem... it WAS my drinking and mythinking. In other words, the problem was ultimately me.

Alcohol filled a void within me that nothing else could. It was mybest friend and my solution, until it turned on me and stopped

working. I couldn’t live with it or without it. I got to a pointwhere suicide seemed like the only option to escape this horrific

realization. I now thank my higher power for keeping mearound because I should be dead. I used to think my only

purpose in life was to drink and run. Because I have accepted Iam a real alcoholic, came to believe, and turned my will and life

over to a God of my understanding, got a sponsor, LISTENED



(that is why God gave me two ears and one mouth), took somesuggestions, and worked some steps, I have a purpose now. I am

here to carry this message to the next suffering alcoholic andhave the ability to be present and accountable to everyone and

everything else in my life inside and outside of A.A. I have a lifetoday, not an existence. It has been pointed out to me in this

program, I am not alone in this or terminally unique. Everything I am saying is not original. It is an accumulation of

all the experience, strength and hope I have heard over the yearsin A.A... not only from the alcoholics who came before me, butalso from those who are just walking in. That void I spoke ofearlier has finally been filled with the grace and love from my

higher power, my A.A. family and all the people in my life I loveand care about who have stood beside me and supported me,

even when I was at my worst. I am so grateful for the life I havetoday. Even when I think I’m having a bad day, it is ALWAYS a

good day if I don’t pick up a drink. Although I have made and amstill making progress, I am human. I will never be perfect. I

make mistakes, don’t always think right or react in ways Ishould. The cool thing is though, I can now see my part ineverything, own up to those mistakes and admit when I’m

wrong... one of the many gifts I have received from thisprogram. The ultimate gift I have received is a connection with apower greater than myself. I love the story in the big book wherethe person states, God didn’t bring me to A.A... A.A. brought meto God. So true for me. Because I am selfish and self-centeredby nature, sometimes my first thought will be about me and mydisease will tell me, “If only everyone would act the way I think

they should and if only I got my way all the time, everythingwould be okay.” The third step prayer has always been my

favorite and gets me down to my right size...

God, I offer myself to Thee – to build with me and to do with meas Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better

do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them



may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love,and Thy Way of Life. May I do Thy will always!

It is God’s plan and will... not mine. God will carry me when Ifeel like I can’t even walk. He will do for me what I can’t do formyself, but he won’t do what I can do for myself. This includesputting in some effort to reach out to him and others for help. AND to do the same thing when others come to me for help. I

can’t ever change anyone or anything... only me and how I react.

Amen for now...



12 Ideas for Meeting Topics:By: Brandy D.

1. Accepting Spiritual Help2. Love and Tolerance

3. Carrying the Message4. Willingness Toward Sobriety

5. Service Work



6. Prayer and Meditation7. Am I a normal drinker?

8. Being a Sponsee9. Finding the Similarities

10. Having a Spiritual Experience11. Honest with Myself and Honest with Others

12. Experience, Strength and Hope

Give us your best recovery joke ~ [email protected]

What ideas do you have? [email protected]



Have something to say? ~ [email protected]

SEPTEMBER HISTORICAL DATES

1937 - Florence R, 1st female in AA in NY 1938 - Bill W & Hank P form Works Publishing Co1939 - Morris Markey runs story on AA, "Alcoholics and God", inLiberty Magazine 1939 - 1st AA group founded in Chicago1940 - Bill 12 steps Bobbie V who replaced Ruth Hock as his secretaryin NY 1940 - AA group started in Toledo by Duke P & others.



1941 - WHJP in Jacksonville, FL airs Spotlight on AA1942 - U.S. Assist. Surgeon General Kolb speaks at dinner for Bill andDr Bob1946 - 1st AA group in Mexico City is formed 1947 - Dallas Central Office opens its doors1948 - 1st issue of Grapevine published in "pocketbook" size 1975 - Bill W a biography by Robert T is published 2001 - 30 Vesey St, New York, AA's first Office is damaged during theWorld Trade Center attack

Notable September DeathsSeptember 17,1954: Bill D, AA #3 dies.September 19,1975: Jack Alexander, author of Saturday Evening Postarticles, dies

What does your meeting look like? Send us pics! [email protected]

Committee Announcements

Intergroup for September 12, 2020



Next Intergroup meeting will be October10,2020 will be via Zoom at 9:30 am

Meeting ID : 894 4432 6346Meeting Password: IG

Need a Nortside Rep~ contact central Office if interested!

Central Office is open and in need of volunteers to helpanswer phones! Central Office needs updated Intergroup

Rep informationCall Alex at 317-632-7864 or [email protected]

Area 23: area23aa.org for information about area

ARCHIVES COMMITTEE:Like any other A.A. service, the primary purpose of those

involved in archival work is to carry the message of AlcoholicsAnonymous. Archives service work is more than mere custodialactivity; it is the means by which we collect, preserve, and sharethe rich and meaningful heritage of our Fellowship. It is by thecollection and sharing of these important historical elements

that our collective gratitude for Alcoholics Anonymous isdeepened.

Contact - [email protected]

CORRECTIONS COMMITTEE:The purpose of a Corrections committee is to coordinate the

work of individual A.A. members and groups who are interestedin carrying our message of recovery to alcoholics behind the

walls, and to set up means of smoothing the way from the facilityto the larger A.A. community through prerelease contacts.

Currently having meetings via Webex. Orientation for HamiltonCounty Jail meetings October 26 @ 7




COOPERATION WITH THE PROFESSIONALCOMMUNITY (C.P.C.) COMMITTEE:Members of C.P.C. committees inform professionals and futureprofessionals about A.A.— what we are, where we are, what wecan do, and what we cannot do. They attempt to establish better

communication between A.A.s and professionals, and to findsimple, effective ways of cooperating without affiliating.

Looking for Volunteers for 6th Annual Hancock County Recovery

Walk and LuauSaturday September 26, 2020

Registration 9 amGreenfield, IN Town Square


PUBLIC INFORMATION COMMITTEE:Like all of A.A., the primary purpose of members involved withPublic Information service is to carry the A.A. message to the

alcoholic who still suffers. Working together, members of localPublic Information committees convey A.A. information to the

general public, including the media.

Needs Chair and co-chairContact - [email protected]

TREATMENT and ACCESSIBILITIESCOMMITTEE:

While A.A. is not affiliated with any form of alcoholismtreatment, A.A. Treatment committees are essential in carrying

the A.A. message to treatment facilities where the sufferingalcoholic may be introduced to A.A. for the first time.



Accessibilities Committees assist A.A. members who have avariety of challenges to accessing the A.A. message in A.A.

meetings, Twelve Step work and other A.A. service.

Looking for groups to go in treatments centers. Currently havelooking for groups for:

Truth Treatment Center7150 S. Madison Ave

Indianapolis, IN 462276:30 Wednesdays

Daniel's House 233 Eastern Ave.

Indianapolis, 46201Every other Wednesday @ 5 Starting October 7th


TELEPHONE ANSWERING SERVICE(TAS) COMMITTEE:

Takes call for after hours

Need volunteer for 3rd Thursday of the month 4:30 pm - 11 pmto answer phone calls.


SHEETS OF SOBERITY (SOS)COMMITTEE:

Assembles articles and submissions for publication fromIndianapolis A.A. Members, Intergroup Committee Chairs,and the Central Office Manager for the monthly newsletter;

Sheets Of Sobriety (S.O.S.). Publications provided digitally via



email subscription and on the www.indyaa.org, both free of charge.

NEED Chair and Co-ChairAlways needing stories, funnies, and anything else you want to

share!Contact- [email protected]

12 STEP CALL LIST COMMITTEE:

List has been updated. Need Chair and Co-ChairContact- [email protected]

DEVELOPMENT COMMITTEE:Need chair and co-chair Contact - [email protected]

TOPIC TIME for October

Fall out of FearHow do you deal with FEAR in Sobrietry?

Share your Experience, Strength, and Hope regarding thetopic for the October Edition of S.O.S.

Submissions are not limited to the suggested topic and weencourage you to write about any topic as it relates to

Alcoholism for any month.

Submissions for October are due by September 30th. Anysubmissions received after September 25th may be included in

later Editions.Please submit to [email protected] and title your email

"Newsletter Submission".Please keep all submissions around 700 words or less.

Receive the SOS monthly in your email. SUBSCRIBE HERE

http://indyaa.org/http://eepurl.com/cMaCIb



Include a title for your submission where applicable. If no titleis included, we may provide one for you.

If you wish to be published anonymously, DO NOT include yourname in your document and please write "post anonymously"

in your email submission to SOS.If you wish for your name or initials to be published, please

write it at the end of your submitted document exactly as youwould like it published. If no indication of intent has been

made, your submission will automatically be postedanonymously.

Please note, only first names, first name and last initial, orinitials only, will ever be published. We will never post last

names even if you submit them.

We look forward to hearing from you!

Copyright © 2020 indyaa.org, All rights reserved.Sheets Of Sobriety - July - 2020

Our mailing address is:S.O.S.

2320 S. Tibbs AvenueSuite C

Indianapolis, In [email protected]

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Sheets of SobrietyFinding Hope in Sobriety 11:18:51 PM] Sheets of …