I –MESSAGES HELP US

TALK OUT PROBLEMS

TALKING IT OUT Talking problems out helps solve a

disagreement or problem between yourself and another person.

Talking it out is hard – but can help the situation get better.

You need to stay calm and be patient.

BLAMING DOESN’T WORK Starting out with the word “you” creates

blame. The other person will often not listen to you if they feel blamed for something.

BOTH SIDES Each person needs to explain their side

while the other person listens, then SWITCH.

I - MESSAGES I Messages are a powerful when you

have good eye contact and use the other person’s name to get their attention.

4 STEPS There are 4 easy steps students can let

others know how they are feeling and what behavior is bothering them.

These steps use good manners to solve the problem.

It gives everyone a chance to tell what they want to happen.

4 STEPS

HOW TO TALK IT OUT: Wrong Way to talk it out: "You

interrupted me! You never let me talk!“

Correct Way to talk it out: "I feel frustrated when you interrupt me because I want to share what I'm thinking.  Can you please stop?"  

LISTENING Talking it out will only work if both

people are willing to listen to each other.

PRACTICE I MESSAGES USING THESE PROBLEMS: someone is throwing eraser pieces at

you there's a pencil found on the floor and 2

people go to pick it up at once someone keeps chasing you at recess

and yelling out your name a classmates is whispering to you when

the teacher is giving instructions someone keeps kicking your desk when

you're trying to work someone cuts in front of you in line

PRACTICE I MESSAGES: the person in front of you is fooling

around at the pencil sharpener and won't let you have a turn

a student is following you around at recess copying what you do

a friend won't let you play with them at recess

a friend takes your scissors and won't give it back

a classmate cuts in front of you in line.

FOR “I MESSAGES” TO WORK: Go to a quiet spot Use good manners Use the other person’s name Have eye contact Take turns talking and listening, each

telling how they feel and what they want to have happen

Respect how the other person feels Good Job!!