1-Chapter One PD and SS Intro

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Chapter One - Introduction

Personality Development

Personality comes from the Latin word persona which means an

actors mask basically. In the context of personality development it means

that we have to wear a different personae masks in the society apart fromthe one you wear at home to face and solve most of the challenges of day to

day life.when we come out of the cellar of our minds, we wear masks of

respectability, adoptability, articulation, at least a smile etc.

In the wider horizon, it means or it can be best defined as the total of

Physical, Psychological, Social, Financial, Ethical or Moral, and Spiritual

characteristics of a person.

Development of course is a positive and progressive, that is, an all

round development in all these areas.

Each and every one of us have immense potential latent in us but we

limit it (condition it). Let us take The Stake and the Circus Elephant

example.

When an Elephant is younger it is called an Elephant cub. In a circus it

will be bound by an immense and a strong iron chain, in the initial stages of

taming. It cannot break the iron chain at that point of time. Later on what it

becomes bigger, the circus people use a small rope to bind the immense

Elephant.

But our Elephant has the iron chain of younger years still in her mind

as a barrier. So she still thinks she cannot break away to freedom. Most of us

are like circus elephants and we limit our capabilities. Lord Hanuman of our

folk lore is another example. Let us break the illusive chains and bring about

the immense potential latent in us, outside. Only then we can be successful.

So do not limit yourself. Bring out the best in you. That is the central

theme of Personality development, that is development in the Physical,

Psychological, Social, Financial, Ethical or Moral, and Spiritual spehers.

If a man is to develop, it will be along these lines :

He will attain a higher level of consciousness He will reach a state of inner harmony instead of disharmony

He will gain single permanent controlling I

He will gain Will.

He will have the insight to help other people. ( paropakaradham idam

shareeram. Our bodys main purpose is to help others. ) as Real

Happiness lies in bringing happiness into others lives.Ouspensky In search of Miraculous has pointed that the higher level

being cannot be reached by breeding or by accident but only by intense

struggle and unceasing effort. Sky is the limit for this imperfect ( still yet to

be evolved ) being called man. Whether he degenerates or evolves into a

still higher being , is in his hands only.

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One mischievous fellow conceals a bird in both his hands, and asks a saint.,

whether the bird in his hands is alive or dead. The saint replies My son, it isin your hands

Dr. T. Bharathi and her team members in their book on Personality

Development and Communicative English say Personality development isan important aspect in the modern society. It aims at an overall positive

expression of an individual for a dynamic living in the society he/she lives.

It is possible only through Self-improvement. An individual has to

build a solid foundation for life with Goals-setting and their achievements,

effective management of Time, building of self-esteem, mental discipline,

introspection, Visualization which are classified as intra-personal skills.

To acquire these skills one should discover the exciting answer to

Who am I. Philosophers long since declared it as Know Thyself as thekey to wealth and happiness. The more the individual knows his/her true self

the more he/she can himself or herself improve. SWOT analysis can be

applied for this. It will be explained in future chapters.

Some of the Interpersonal skills are Leader Ship skills, Negotiation

skills ( Basically, a skill can be defined as a system of behaviour or ability

that can be applied in a whole range of operations.)

So, on one side of the coin. ie; there are these Intra Personal Skills

(intra means within).

Even the word Education has come from educe which means to developfrom within. So Swami Vivekananda says Education is the manifestation of

perfection already in man.

The Intra Personal skills can be defined as those skills that each one

has to employ while interacting with ones own self. It is a subjective

concept. To take examples, our attitudes, our paradigms or perceptions,

introspection, visualization, goal-setting, time management, building self-

esteem, mental discipline are intrapersonal skills

On the flip side of the coin is Inter personal skills (inter meansoutside ) which can be defined as those skills that everyone has to employ

while interacting with other people.

No man is an island. In another sense every one comes out the cellar of

his mind and has to wear a mask ie; a different persona say a mask of

respectability, adoptability and for that to be achieved, one has to employ

the interpersonal skills as they are the abilities or skills to relate to others in a

socially appropriate and meaningful ways or manner.

These are the skills we have to effectively employ while interacting

with the society in which we live, which consists of everybody other than

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yourself, - your parents, siblings, colleagues, neighbours, your country men,

the whole humanity or rather all living things, flora and fauna.

To take examples, Communication skills makes the basic interpersonal

skill and other inter personal skills are Studying and working in teams,

working with people of different cultures, serving customers, learning andteaching others, leader ship qualities etc.,

These intra and interpersonal skills are broadly classified under Soft

Skills. They are essential for Success in any endeavor.

Dr. T. Bharathi and her team members further emphasize in their book

on Personality Development and Communicative English that, while

functional knowledge may be from the core of fundamental programmes ( say

AITUC-All India council of Technical Education and Universities, higher

institutes of learning APSCHE-Andhra Pradesh State Higher Education, UGC-

University Grants commission), and as classified as Hard skills.

Soft Skills such as Communication Skills, Time, Stress and Change

Management, Problem Solving, Leader Ship skills, Employability skills,

Intrapersonal and Interpersonal Skills etc;will extend the knowledge of the

Students and would-be-trainers and enable them to become active participants

rather than passive recipients in the process of dissemination of knowledge.

And in turn Trainers can impart those practical skills to the students to

make them better citizens of the world.

I can say that a better citizen is nothing but a highly evolvedpersonality. I would further add that we should strive for wholesomedevelopment in various spheres of our personalities.

Wholesome development in Personality when broadly classified can be

like this

1. Psychological sphere ( psycho- )

2. Physical sphere- (-somatic)

The above two are called Psycho-Somatic

3. Social sphere4. Financial sphere

5. Moral / Ethical sphere

6. Spiritual sphere

Hindu Dharma advocates Chaturvida Purushardhas the Four fold goals of

humanity. Duty-Money-Desires-and Liberation (-Dharma-Ardha-Kaama- and Moksha

or Nirvana ), first three are collective goals of achievement and the 4th onenamely the Moksha or Nirvana is the individual goal of achievement for

HindusRamo Vigrhavan Dharmaha: Lord Rama is the embodiment of

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Dharma=Duty

1. Psychological sphere ( psycho- )

The psychological sphere consists of our thoughts, feelings, and theresultant actions.

Hindu Dharma also advocates Trikanrana Sudhi (Manasa, Vaacha and

Karmana) in every human endeavor which simply means We should

process thoughts into vocalization ( speak out or write them out ) and takeappropriate actions with utmost purity and sincerity.

For the development in personality, tools like Visualization,

Introspection, SWOT analysis are necessary. So,

Daily meditate upon God or Super Power for about 10 minutes insilence every morning and every night.

Visualize or Re-live the happy or pleasant memories of your child-

hood as often as possible. I can give one of my own.

I can still vividly recollect what my father did when I wanted a Shower

Bath. Let me go down the memory lane. I was a kid of 10 years old at that

point of time. we used to visit my fathers friends house often. That

gentleman was a foreman in the Integral Coach Factory in Madras, now

Chennai and was having well furnished government living quarters, a nice

three bed room flat with all modern amenities. I took fancy towards theShower Bath in the Bathroom. I wished for one at our house.

We were living in a small hut, without electricity and even a bathroom

was a luxury, let alone a sophisticated toilet, geysers and shower baths etc. We

could not afford them at that time. My father was at a loss at first. Then he had

taken an old Amul Tin, punctured lot of holes on the bottom, made it hanging

on to a pole in our bath room, which was nothing but a shed made out of four

sticks and four bamboo mats that were open to the sky.

And he used fill the tin with water repeatedly and continuously, while

humming a rhyme, while me and my elder brother stand directly below the

draining waters- a make shift arrangement of a Shower bath. What a happy

interlude! I visualize it often.

One more good habit of my father was his immense energy to cycle me

every Sunday to Connemera and Central Libraries in Madras, which

eventually made me a book worm and an voracious reader, which in our

present digitalized world is not possible so easily.

I used to visit Childrens section regularly and had developed the habit

of reading comics of Phantom-the ghost who walks, Mandrake-the magician,Dennis the menace, Riche Rich the richest kid of US ( Counter-part of Bill

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Gates ) and various others like Sherlock Holmes Mysteries, Adventures of

Tom Sawyer, 20000 leagues under the sea and various classical works which

kept me in immense joy. Indian Folk lore of Indrajal comics fame were yet to

make its appearance then as they were started from my childrens generation.

My miniscule knowledge of English Language as of today is due to myfathers insistence of reading of books and active encouragement. ( What I am

today is because of him predominantly ).

Even if he sends me to a movie ( 46 naya paise for a Sunday morning

show and 15 naya paise for a masala dosa as an incentive for my belly - I

remember seeing James Bond 007 movies ), he used to demand writing of one

page essay on the movie two versions one in my Mother tongue another in

English language so that I got good proficiency in both the languages.

Moreover he had the infinite patience to go through it Edit it for my

improvement. He used to say often that Telugu, my Mother tongue and

English language are like two eyes. It is Edutainment is it not so?

Every one of you have experienced similar types of Pleasant Events .

So please try to visualize them often.

SWOT Analysis:

SWOT is an acronym that stands for Strengths, Weaknesses,

Opportunities and Threats, which helps you to ascertain your own self. It can

be equated toIntrospection orKnow Thyself. It is tool for self improvement.Johari Window of Perception yet another tool will be dealt with in future

chapters.

To cite my examples

Strengths -My Teaching and Training abilities are my strengths.

Weaknesses

My Short Fuse is my weakness

( I am transparent, and I admit with certainty that I get angry onlytwice in an year and that is my mission statement here.

But, My better-half quips from behind Yes, Yes each one stays just for

6 months .Anger management ( I believe that the word Anger has

derived from danger ) is a recurring resolution of mine every year,as it is yet to be managed by me in full).

- I ask too many questions which is another weakness of me that is

I am a Doubting Thomas

Opportunities

My opportunities lie in the arena of Soft Skills and Personality

development that is - Teaching and Training, as I have a passion for

them.

ThreatsI am on the wrong side of 50, hence I cannot go on frequently to other

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cities to conduct my soft skills classes due to Arthritis.

Fairer sex cannot opt for Night Shifts in their jobs - is another example..

2. Physical sphere- (somatic)

Physical fitness :

Swami Vivekananda says A sound mind in a sound body.

No excesses that is, to maintain moderation in everything -Drinking,

Eating, Speaking and other activities.

Make Exercise, your daily routine, simply walking 2 to 3 kilometers,

a day is more than adequate. Avoid obesity as obese people are more prone to

diabetes and heart related problems.

Meditation concentrate on spiritual aspect ( Meaning and purpose )of life at least for 10 to 15 minutes a day.

Visualization Sit in a calm place and Try to visualize happy events ofyour life.

Try to visualize unhappy events also and try to pause them or erase

them. Visualize tape Recorders erase or pause buttons. Do this as a daily

routine

The above two are Psycho-Somatic.

3. Social sphere

No man is an Island. That is, he cannot live alone. He has to build

bridges of communications. So, soft skills have to be improved. They help in

improving the human relationships. Tools with which you can develop and

improve soft skills will be dealt with in the subsequent chapters.

4. Financial sphere

You should have a healthy financial sense in the sense, you should be

able to save 30 % of your total earnings every month, the bare minimum so to

say. Only that much I happen to know about finance.

Finance is not my cup of tea, so my knowledge about it is quite

rudimentary. For expertise and improvement readers are free to contact

Financial Stalwarts.

5. Moral / Ethical sphere

For peaceful co-existence every human being should develop sound

Values in himself or herself. Values can be classified further into Personal,

Social and Career values.

Let us first examine what values are. Values are certain beliefs that

generally help you decide What is Wrong ? and What is Right ?

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Life has meaning and purpose. Your values generally determine the

kind of person you want to become and the direction in which you steer your

course of life.

Personal Values :Values on Personal issues of your Life :

1. Health

2. Wealth

3. Fame

4. Image

5. Recognition and Respect

6. Personal Growth

7. Meaningful Relationships among your Family members

8. Your contribution to Society or Community it is not what the society

does for you rather it is what you are contributing to the society.You can add your own .

Rome is not built in a day. An immense building starts with small bricks

initially.

Study or Work, Contribution to our society in piece-meal( in Installments

in small measures ) is enough to start with. Let us examine an interesting

anecdote.

Once upon a time, an author was in the habit of going a sea coast to do

his writing assignments. One day he happened to find an immense quantity

of Starfish that were washed up on to the sands due to the storm overnight.

And he was surprised to find an young man throwing some of them

back into the sea. The author commented Hey! young man why are you

doing this?. The young man said if I do not throw them back to sea they

will inevitably die.

The author exclaimed But it is not going to make any difference to

you, and it is futile, as there are thousands and thousands of them on the

sands.

The young man listened politely, smiled and took one star fish and

thrown her into the sea and calmly said It made a difference to her as it isa life and death problem to her. And his action is not in vain after all

because life of one of the Star Fish was saved.

2. Social Values :

Your Values on Social Issues :

Religion

Marriage (Let us take the example Marriage One of our Institutions

from Hindu Culture

BrahmaVishunu, Maheswara Groom

Sarswathi Laxmi, Parvati Bride

PaaniGrahana Mahostavam Ardhangi Vagardham and Lord Shiva and

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Parvati Ardhanreswara

Dharmey tvaya yesha Naati Charitavya Natti charmi

Ardhey tvaya yesha

Kaamey tvaya yesha

Shri sai baba says : when you see the husband you should be reminded of

his wife and vice versa Daampatya )

Peace

Poverty & Hunger

Caste

Social inequalities

Love

Abortion

Bribery

Womens Rights, and Empowerment

Empowerment in the real sense, but not as Husband is slightly more

equal than his wife- Bhartha bharya kante koncham ekkuva samanamsame as the rhetoric All men are equal, but, Some men are more

equal and again First among Equals

3.Career Values

60 % of your life, you spend in your work place ( in your alma matter ie

studies in case of students )

So you have to reflect on what is important to you at your work place without

conflicting with the values of your organizations

You should be a Professional as well as you should work for a Professional

Company as well.

Importance or priority and choosing is individual ie ;which is inaccordance with ones own job satisfaction :

1 Achievement A sense of accomplishment

2 Advancement Opportunities for promotions

3 Adventure Tasks that involve taking risks

4 Aesthetics Tasks involving the application of Beauty,

Symmetry and Serenity

5 Affiliation Recognition as a member of a particular team or

group or section - of course A positive one not a

negative grouping6 Altruism Work that emphasizes helping others

7 Autonomy Independence from others only a relative one :

because Inter-Dependence is the key factor in any

social endeavor

8 Compensation Work that pays well

Mozart : a great Music composer I was paid too

much for what I do and too little for what I could

do no place for Creativity in some

organizations

9. Competition A healthy one - win /win

10

Creativity Workplace that fosters (promoting the growth ) fornew ideas, programs and new paradigms

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( perceptions ), organizational structures

1

1

Diversity In the work place means Equal opportunity

Employer ie ; working of people from different

religions, ethnic groups etc

1

2

Decision making The power to decide organizational policies and

courses of action and control over ones owndecisions & actions

1

3

Environment Work that is done in specific surroundings of your

choosing

1

4

Fast pace Work that must be done to meet the deadlines

1

5

Flexibility The ability to set ones own work schedule

1

6

Influence Work that can shape the attitudes or opinion of

others

Attitude : A complex mental state involving

beliefs, feelings, values and dispositions to act in

certain ways

Attitudes : Proactive, positive, Age, continuous

learning LTL , Continuous improvement ( Kaizen ),

Paradigm shift, ie; one minute reprimand first and

then one minute praise immediately, and a desire to

help others

1

7

Intellectual Status Work that acknowledges ones intellectual

expertise

1

8

Knowledge Work that pursues greater understanding in a given

field Transparency ie; Kn. Dissemination fromthe hierarchy

Sarveshameva Daana nam Jnana Danam

Vishishyate

1

9

Personal fulfillment Work that expresses ones personal and cultural

values

Culture = All the knowledge and values shared by a

particular, society or a community

2

0

Physical challenge Work that is physically demanding

2

1

Power and

Authority

The ability to control the work or activities of

others to an extent2

2

Precision Work in situations where accuracy is crucial

2

3

Predictability Work that involves routine daily tasks

2

4

Profit Work that focuses on an organizations and ones

own financial gain without conflicting each other

2

5

Public contact Opportunity for contact with people outside ones

own work group broadening of mental and kn

horizons

26 Recognition Work that affords public recognition for what oneaccomplishes practice of favoritism and private

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praise

2

7

Relationships Work place that allows pleasant inter-personal

interaction with colleagues

2

8

Security Relative assurance of Job Security

29

Skills utilization Work that makes full use of ones unique abilities

3

0

Spirituality Work that allows one to explore the spiritual

meaning of life or at least no un-due hindrance

3

1

Team work Inter-dependent = collaborative work

3

2

Variety Changing of responsibilities and duties as the

variety is spice of life = The Road has diverged

into two and I have taken the one that has least

treaded upon Robert Frost

Moon and Sixpence Somerset Maugham

Robert Frost The woods are lovely dark and

deep, but, I have promises to keep and miles to go

before I sleep

The power to stay focused on the job you do, is so important today. It

is a surge from within, that which propels us ahead, a single minded focus

imbibed by the every human being to move ahead successfully.As per Pareto principle :

80% of Un-Focused effort results in 20% results only.

But, 20% of Focused effort results in 80% results

Hence,

Arise, awake and rest not till the goal is reached - says Swami Vivekananda

First they ignore you,

Then they laugh at you,Then they fight you,

Then you win - you - Gandhiji

Finally they may admire you and may adore you. It is nothing but the

relentless pursuit of your goals, what may come of course Gandhiji insistson through ethical or moral meansMoreover, you success should not mean failure to another.

Please note the tenacity or persistence of Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi : I have come to tell you that I am going fight against

your government.

General Jan Smuts : You mean you come here to tell me that? Is thereanything more you wanted to say ?

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Gandhi : Yes, I am going to Win.

General Jan Smuts : Well, and how are you going to do that?

Gandhi : With your help, of course

General Smuts expressed several years later that Gandhiji did exactly

that.By his courage, by his determination, by his refusal to take unfair

advantage, but especially by his endless capacity to stick out without

yielding and without retaliation managed to get Generals admiration, and

respect and one by one, the laws most offensive to the Indians were repealed

or reversed.

Our Bapujis formidable weapons of Speaking of Truth (Satya vrata ),

Non-coperation ( satyaagraha ) and Ahimsa (non-voilence ) remains elusive to

most of us humans and they are the most difficult of all intrinsic values to put

to practice. Only celluloid Gandhigiri which is virtual, is at present our

solace.

The story goes that , when the formidable Atom Bomb was invented., the team

of scientists who invented it were put to a wonderful question by a journalist

Journalist : Can you tell us, is there a more powerful weapon than the Atom

Bomb?The team said in unison : Peace

I cannot help quoting effortlessly our beloved mother Mother Teresa

We have no peace because we have forgotten that we belong to each other

At first people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can done.

The they began to think it cant be done.Then they see that it can be done.

Then it is done ( by somebody )

And all the world wonders why it was not done before- Arnindam Chowdary

I feel Ah! I thought about it, I already knew but I did not express itOh hard luck I thought about it but he, my neighbour has achieved. that is

the normal trend, or way of thinking of most of us

6. Spiritual sphereLet me enumerate my opinions onReligion and Spirituality. Let me Start

with an illustration from the life Swami Vivekananda.

Let us cite the incidents from the lives of Sri Rama Krishan Paramahamsa and

Swami Vivekananda.Swami Vivekananda, also known as Narendranath used to ask any

sadhu or saint he comes across, three questions. Did God Exists?, Have youseen Him?, and Can you show Him to me? No body could answer him

satisfactorily. He was directed to see Sri Ramakrishana Pramahamsa, a sage

in Ankaleswar.

Sri Ramakrishna said Ok I will demonstrate this to you practically.First let us go to the river, you take a full plunge in the river. Swami

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Vivekananda plunged as instructed. Sri Ramkrishna started pushing

Vivekananda into the deep waters. Vivekananda was loosing his breath, andstarted grasping for air for his lungs. With great strength he pushed aside Sri

Ramkrishna and demanded what is this ? are you trying to kill me or what ? for which Sri Ramakrishna said you have used tremendous force to save

yourselves. You have tremendous passion to live. That has helped to save you.Is it not so ?.But you do not have enough passion to know or realize God. Soyou are not yet ready to see Him. If you have the same intensity of passion as

of your survival instinct you can definitely see HimHe further adds He who from the depth of his soul seeks to know

God, will certainly realize Him. He must Self realization concept so to say.

I can just add that God is like salt to our lives. Without Him our lives aretasteless

God the Intimate response of Spirit

God is to be felt by our hearts. He is an intellectual and a moral

necessity.

Can a musician, can ever put into words his aesthetic / ecstatic

appreciation of say for example Beethoven s Symphonies, Mozarts quartets

or keerthanas of Annamacharya ?( either the listener must have known a

similar string of emotions or else attempted in terms of Octave, F minor, F

major or Raagam, Taanam, Pallavi). It merely becomes descriptive just like

the theory of sound in Physics. You have to experience the emotion

Empathy ( Aaardhata = intimacy ).

The knowledge you have gained is too intimate to be codified or

analyzed. Intellectual attributes concerning God are devoid of that intimate

response of Spirit and Intimate response of Spirit is the essence of

every true religion.

Hinduism advocates Karma which means Action

Action is more important in all our endeavors.

Bhagavad Gita says : Karmane vadhikarassey , Maa Phaleshu Kadhaachana ,

Maa Phala Heeturbhoo, Matey Sagoshva Karmani - Sakhya 2 : 47

It can simply be interpreted as renounce the results to me and just act .Never abstain from Action.

So inactivity is stagnation or death. In Bhagavad Gita, even the Lord

Krishna says I act though there is no need for me do it. So, Bhagvad Gita

basically emphasizes Karma Yoga.

Gita Sastra Midam Punyam, . Bhaya Sokaadi Vargitahaa

Yandamoori Virendranath a Personality Development Trainer and a

writer opinions that Bhagavd Gita is the ultimate Personality developmentbook on Earth. Krishna is the Motivator. Arjuna is having skills and is the

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doer (Action ) His duty was to wage war ( yuddhaya krutanitchaya ha ) we

are like Arjunas. We have to wage war with our weaknesses it is our

Kurukshetra the battle field. . In our modern scenario they are :

1. Ignorance - and can be dispelled by Knowledge Functional and Soft

Skills or Life skills or Human Skills development.2. Doubt or indecision - and can be dispelled by Goal setting, Time and

Change Management Skills etc.

3. Worry or Anxiety and can be dispelled by Stress Management

4. Fear and can be dispelled by Intra Personal and Interpersonal skills

5. Psycho-somatic ailments and can be dispelled be Intra personal and

Interpersonal skills

6. Anger or Aggression and can be dispelled by Anger management

That is why Gandhiji says : Bhagavad Gita replaced my mothers death, when

ever I felt depressed or have a problem I found solace in her lap.

Two girls are late to their school; they are running towards it, moreover it is

drizzling, and they find Lord Ganesha s idol (can be a Church or a Mosque)

on their way )

First girl : Let us stop and pray that our teacher does not punish us for late

attending.

Second girl : no, no, let us pray to God while running.

That is the pragmatic approach that everyone of us have to cultivate.

in lighter vain

A man does lot of penance or he prays and prays for many years to realizeGod and to ask him boons. After many years God appears and asks him what

he wanted. The man says O! God ! let me have one lakh rupees in lottery.

God replies Ok man meet me half way. First buy the Lottery ticket at least.

Purushaprayatna , Maanavprayantna action from our side should be there.

Where ever there is Krishna and Arjuna there will be

- Success or Victory

- Glory

- Prosperity

- Righteousness

Yatra Yogeswara Krishana and Yatra Paardho DhanurdharahTatra Sri, Vijayor Bhootihi

Dhruva Neetir Matir Mama the Last Sloka of Bhagavad Gita

in lighter vain

We get Gods help for 50% , where as we have to put up another 50 %

But the most important thing is that

We do have to put up our 50% effortfirst. Gods help comes second

in lighter vain

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Lord Brahma, the creator in the Hindu Theology seems to be a less popular

God as he has the fewest temples in his dedication and the legend has it that he

is very easy to please. So one of our smart and resourceful one prays and prays

and Lord Brahma materializes and is very happy to grant three boons.

Our smart ones boon 1 : Give me lot of riches.

Our smart ones boon 2 : Give a Palace , a good wife, and wonderful children.Our smart ones boon 3 : Give me three more boons when ever I ask for.

We are too greedy, we expect too much from God for too little labour or no

labour from a TV channel preacher

A man prayed and prayed to God. After 10 years God appeared and asked

him what he wanted.O ! God ! please be with me always, in happiness and in sorrow as well and

guide me properly. God said Ok and explained you are seeing two pairs of

foot prints on the sand, They belong to us - you and me. So, be sure that I amalways with you.

After few years the man fell in bad times. He was debilitated bodily andmentally and no human came to his rescue. He was depressed and to his

dismay he found only one pair of foot prints in the sand. He cried,

O ! God ! you are also like other human beings, you have abandoned me inmy crisis

God replied No my son, you are mistaken. As you are not able to carryyourself on your own I am carrying you on my shoulders. The single pair of

foot prints are mine.

One can only say that if you believe Him, he will not abandon you.

Of course for our individual problems our own Karma gives explanation.

As he sows, so he reaps.

You cannot make God responsible for our own actions.

You are the master of your destiny. You alone can make or mar your destiny-

says Swami Vivekananda. Karma is not bad. Serendipity is the positive aspect

of Karma ( here karma means Fate ). They all depend on our own actions past

and present. And you have control and choice on your future actions

So Swami Vivekananda asserts that you are an atheist if you have

no faith in yourself. So have faith in yourself at the least.

My Children the secret of religion lies not in theories but in practice To be

good and to Do good, that is the whole of religion.

God exists in every Jiva. To serve Jiva is to serve God. Service to humanity is

service to God. Says Swami Vivekananda

Of course first comes duty dharma and then comes social service

Bagavad Gita says follow your own dharma Swadharma

Sreyan swadharmo vigunaha paradharmath anushititaat

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Swadharmey nidhnam sreyatam, Paradharmo Bhayavahaha.

Swami Vivekananda further says that If one religion is true then all

other religions must also be true. We know that all religions are alike from the

lowest fetishism to the highest absolutism are but so many attempts of the

human soul to grasp and realize the infinite. So we gather these flowers( different faiths ) and bind them together with the cord of love and make them

into a wonderful garland of worship. Art Science and Religion are but

different ways of expressing Single Truth.

Hence, you need not change your religion.

One atheist said there is no God Votaire said Create one . God is

a moral, intellectual and psychological necessity. Re-invent Him if you have

not done so.

Research shows that theists are more happier than atheists and if you

believe in a super power our feel good hormones will be generated.

Let us examine the philosophy of Existentialism and Phenomenology

of Western thought.

The philosophy ofExistentialism is based on the belief that individual

human beings face a meaningless absurd and science-oriented world.

Individuals must therefore find or construct meaning from their existence and

answer their own questions about self-identity and proof.

This is not new to Hinduism it is the concept of Know thyself and Atma

atmaneva udharete says Bhagavad Gita. Which means Cultivate your own

garden.

The philosophy ofPhenomenology is the study of human experience

and interpretation of experience. It is a close cousin to Existentialism. It

advocates Realism and Transcendentalism - A literary and philosophical

movement, associated with Ralph Waldo Emerson and Margaret Fuller,

asserting the existence of an ideal spiritual reality that transcends all of our

existence.

Existentialism influenced Martin Luber who focused on I and

thou Teacher and the Student relation ship.

Phenomenology influenced Abraham Maslow and he theorized the

hierarchy of human needs and the ultimate need for self-realization - realizing

your fullest potential which is nothing but our Wholesome Personality

Development in all spheres of life.

Let us take Abraham Lincolns Appeal to the Teacher of his son.

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This is a literary master piece of ideas for Communicative competence

as well as Personality Development which can teach parents, teachers and

even students alike. Today there is so much talk ( a lip service) on Value

Education but less is being done.

This letters content, the choice of words, their arrangement, style andtone of it. epitomizes the Communicative competence as well as a good

guide to Personality development.

A Father to his Sons Teacher

Abraham Lincolns Appeal to the Teacher of his son.

Dear Mr. Teacher

My son. He will have to learn, I know, that all men are not just, all men

are not true. But teach him also that for every scoundrel three is a hero, that

for every selfish politician, there is dedicated leader.

Teach him that for every enemy, there is a friend. It will take time, I

know but teach him, if you can, that a dollar earned is of far more value than

five found. Teach him to learn to lose and also to enjoy wining. Steer him

away from envy if you can, teach him the secret of silent laughter. Let him

learn early that the bullies are the easiest to lick. Teach him, if you can, the

wonder of books, but also quiet time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in

the sky, bees in the sun and flowers on the green hillside.

In school, teach him it is far more honourable to fail than to cheat.Teach him to have faith in his own ideas even if everyone tells him they are

wrong. Teach him to be gentle with gentle people and tough with tough. Try to

give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone is getting the

bandwagon. Teach him to listen to all men, but teach him also to filter all he

hears on a screen of truth, and take only good that comes through.

Teach him how to laugh when he is sad. Teach him there is no shame

in tears. Teach him to scoff at cynics and beware of too much sweetness.

Teach him to sell his brain to the highest bidders, but never to put a price tag

on his heart and soul. Teach him to close his ears to a howling mob, and to

stand and fight if he thinks hes right.

Teach him gently, but do not cuddle him, because only the test of fire

makes fine steel. Let him have the courage to be patient. Let him have

patience to be brave. Teach him to always have sublime faith in mankind.

This is big order, but see what you can do. He is such a fine little

fellow, my son Abraham Lincoln.

Abraham Lincoln preached what he practiced.

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DOUBT

To quote effortlessly , Yandamoori Virendranath a personality development

trainer and a writer whose ideas when translated roughly into English from

Telugu language.

If God materializes before me what I would ask :

1. When I am mentally weak give me the self analysis of why I am likethat how I can overcome my difficulties.

2. When fear engulfs me, give me the strength to know the reason for my

fear.

3. If I am unsuccessful or I lost in an endeavor give me the courage to

accept it. ( humility or eating the humble pie so to say).

4. If I win, give me humility which can hinder my arrogance.

5. Do not fill my mind with desires. Instead fill my heart with desires and

mind with ideas of how to fulfill my desires.

6. Give me the common sense that the first lesson to knowledge is

Know Thyself7. Do not make my life a bed of roses. Let the knowledge of thorns seep

into my mind first so that I can enjoy the real softness of roses.

8. O! God ! let my heart be pure, aim high, and my thinking exact.

9. Let us all realize that he who brings success in himself at the earliest

brings success into others lives.

10. Please teach me how to laugh happily, but let me not forget sorrow.

11. Dear God give me the quality that does not remove my sense of humor

so that in serious circumstance I will not loose my heart.

12. Give me adoptive ness so that how big the success is I will not loose

myself.

I believe, these are the characteristics of a wholesome personality

Personality development can further be classified into Hard Skills and

Soft Skills development.

Hard Skills :

Your functional areas, you have taken in college, your Arts,

Commerce, Engineering, Science subjects or streams with certain amount of

practicals. Even trades like driving and swimming etc; can be called hard

skills. They are tangible, measurable, gradable and have objectivity.

Soft Skills, Human skills, Life Skills : the need of the hour are not easilymeasurable, they are intangible, hard to quantify and are subjective.

Definition of Soft Skills :

UNICEF (United Nations International Child Education Fund ) defines Soft

skills as the behaviour change or behaviour development approach designed to

address or strike a balance between Attitude, Skills and Knowledge ( acronym

- ASK )

Remember - Acronym- ASK which stands for Attitudes, Skills, Knowledge.

A Attitudes that induces us to act in one way or the other

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S - Skills Stands for Hard Skills - the functional skills and other physicalSkills & Soft Skills or Life Skills or Human skills

K Knowledge Knowledge in general.

Attitude

A complex mental state involving beliefs and feelings, values, and

perceptions or dispositions to act in certain ways.

Proactive, Positive, Age, continuous learning LTL, Continuous

improvement ( Kaizen ), Paradigm shift, ie; one minute reprimand and then

one minute praise, preparing for Change, and a desire to help others

Soft Skills

WHO World Health Organisation defines Soft Skills as the abilities

for the adaptive and positive behaviour that enable individuals to deal

effectively with the demands and challenges of every day life.

Soft sills or Human skills or Life skills are essentially those abilities

that help promote mental well being and competence in young people as they

face the realities of life.

Few Examples of Soft skills

Communication Skills, Intrapersonal and Interpersonal skills, Time,Change, Stress management, Listening skills, Team work, Problem Solving,

Negotiating, Can-Do-Attitude, Passion to Learn and Teach, Serving Clients or

Customers, working with Culturally diverse members etc, and personal

qualities like Adoptability, Responsibility, Self-esteem, Sociability, Integrity,

Honesty, Discipline, Empathy, Leadership, Facial expressions, Body

language, Eye contact, Tone of voice, Fluency in language, telephone and

email etiquette so on so forth.

Let us examine some of the important Soft Skills in the succeeding

chapters

___________________________________________________________________________

Bibliography :

1. Works of Swami Vivekananda and thoughts of Gandhiji from various

resources.

2. Personality development and Communicative English Dr. T. Bharathi, Dr.

Hariprasad, Prof. V.Prakasam Neelkamal Publications.

3. Vijayaaniki aaro mettu ( Telugu ) Yandamoori Veerendarnath

4. Meaning and purpose (intimate response of spirit) author unknown ( as I

have lost the first few and last few pages of a priceless but worn out book I

still possess )5. You can win Shiva Khera

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6. Stories as an Effective Teaching-Learning Tool Prof. P. Nachimuthu

Neelkamal publications

7. Communicative Competence Varanasi Bhaskara Rao BS Publications.

8. INTERNET

9. Our TV Bhakti channels.

10. Bhagavad Gita Pocket book of Gita Press Ghorakpur ( Telugu & English )

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Documents

1-Chapter One PD and SS Intro