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Elegant Time Management

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Video Transcript - October 2019scs society

© French Kiss Life Inc. 2019PAGE 2 OF 8

O C T O B E R 2 0 1 9

Elegant Time Management

Hello, my friends. Welcome to this month’s class, which I am so excited about. We’re going to be talking about elegant time management. I chose this as a topic because it’s something that I have learned so much about. My relationship with time is vastly different today than it was even a year ago, or even two years ago. I continue to have a healthier and healthier relationship with time. Even though many people would say I’m busier than I’ve ever been, I feel like I have more time than I’ve ever had, so we’re going to be exploring why that is.

But I also chose it because I know that this is something that many of you struggle with. I’ve coached some of you around this. I’ve heard some of the beliefs that you have around time, how you don’t have enough of it, how you have so much to do, if you only had more hours in the day. So my goal is for you to have a very elegant relationship with time. The definition of elegance is simplicity and effectiveness. I want your relationship with time to be simple, and I want how you use it to be effective, meaning I want it to align with what is important in your life.

When it comes to time, it is the only nonrenewable resource that we have. I don’t believe you can waste money, because money is something that you can always go out there and create more of, but I do believe you can waste time, because once you spend that second, or that minute, or that day, you can never get it back. So I want us all to make sure that we’re using our time effectively.

The other thing I want you to understand around time is that how you think about it will determine how you use it. Now, time is simply a mental construct. Some people got together and they decided to give time a measurement, in terms of seconds, and minutes, and hours, and days, and months, and years, and we agreed upon it, but outside of that, everything else is your story around time. And trust me, how you think about time will depict how you feel. And as you know, how you feel will depict how you use your time. So one of the best ways to create more time for yourself is to create more thoughts and beliefs around time that feel more relaxing, that offer relief, that literally slow time down.

You know what’s really interesting? As I was saying earlier, I am at a time in my life where my calendar, I look at it sometimes and I’m like, “Wow, this is exciting. There’s a lot on it.” I have many projects that I’m working on. I have commitments that I’ve made. I have a lot of travel coming up. And ironically, time feels slower than it’s ever felt. And I was wondering why is that? It’s because of two things. Number one, how I think about time is very different. I don’t think that I have way too much to do. I don’t create overwhelm for myself, so therefore, I’m able just to show up, get things done, and then move on to the next thing.



The other reason is, however, I did some research on this, and I was like, “Why do I feel like time is slowing down for me?” In a season of my life, I’m getting older, I’ve got a lot on my calendar, and yet, I don’t have that same panic feeling, that same rushed feeling that a lot of people assume I have. What I discovered is actually around Einstein’s theory of relativity. Basically, what this means is that the faster an object is moving in space, the slower time becomes. I was like, “Wow, how crazy is that?” The faster an object is moving, the slower time becomes. And right now, I am physically moving fast, and yet time really feels abundant and plentiful, and I feel like I have all the time that I need. That is what I want for you.

Something else interesting I realized. I was talking to my housekeeper yesterday, and she was telling me about this business she’s wanting to start, and how she doesn’t have enough time, and what I offered her, and I’m going to offer it to you, is that the more I commit to, that is in alignment with my goals, the less time I have to waste. This is super important, my friends. I don’t have time, now, to waste hours on Facebook. I don’t have time to sit around watching TV. Because I have made these commitments, and I have committed to showing up for them, I force myself to produce at a high level, and I also remove all of the time wasters that used to be a part of my everyday life.

So, if you find that you’re wasting time, maybe you have too much time on your hands. Maybe you need to give yourself some big stretch goals, so that you will put things in your calendar that really align with what you want, and it will leave little space for the things that add no quality to your life.

One of the things that I’ve also heard from people, especially people that are close to me, they’re like, “Don’t you ever have time for yourself ?” They assume, again, that because I’m doing so much, that I have no time, and actually, the opposite is happening. The more I get done, the more I produce, and I’m not spinning in procrastination, and worry, and perfectionism, the more time I create on the back end. I still have days of leisure. I have moments in my day where it’s just for me. The difference is that now I feel like I am using my time effectively, I’m getting things done, and therefore, I am actually creating more time, because that was time that I used to spend in nonproductive activities, like worrying, people-pleasing, procrastination, and perfectionism. There’s so many ways that we waste our time, which we’re going to explore what some of your time wasters may be.

When it comes to elegant time management, there are three things that you need to focus on. The first thing is your thoughts around time, because how you think about time will depict how you feel, and how you feel, as you know, depicts what actions you take or you don’t take. What are your thoughts about time? So many of you have thoughts like, “I don’t have enough of it. If only I had more of it. I’m running out of time. I’m too old. There’s not enough time in the day,” thoughts that create a lot of anxiety and a lot of fear around time. When you’re feeling that way, you’re not just showing up and doing things. Those are the kinds of thoughts that lead to the



anxiety that wants you to curl up in the bed and watch Netflix all day.

So, you need to really be mindful of what are your thoughts around time, because you get to choose what you believe about time. You can choose to believe it’s plentiful, and that it’s abundant, and that you always have enough, or you can choose to believe that there’s not enough, and that it’s running out, and it’s something to be afraid of.

The second thing you need to do when it comes to elegant time management is to decide your priorities. If everything is a priority, nothing is, so you’re going to need to decide what are your top priorities during this season of your life. Then the third thing is to align your calendar with your priorities, and when you do those three things, you will have an elegant time management system that will help you live in alignment with what it is you want, and to also help you use your time effectively.

Let’s dive in and go through the workbook together. The very first exercise that I give you is your time beliefs. What do you think about time? Do you remember as a kid, I’m assuming many of you can relate to this, but I remember, it would be like 10:00, I would be sitting in the classroom, and I knew that the bell was going to ring at noon for lunch, and it seemed like a lifetime before that bell would ever ring. Why is that? My thoughts about time was so different. Time was abundant. It wasn’t something that was going fast, and therefore, my experience of time was very slow. And we can do that in our lives now.

One of my favorite mantras is, “There is no hurry.” There is no hurry, and the moment I say that, I relax, I get into the present moment, I look around, “Okay, what needs to be done?” I do it, and time feels like it’s moving slower, simply because I change my perspective of it. So we need to know what are your current time beliefs.

The second exercise that I give you is to ask yourself, what are your top three priorities in your life right now? And I love what Greg McKeown says in his book, Essentialism, which is a fabulous book by the way. It’s one of my favorite books. If you have not read it, go grab a copy immediately, and you’re welcome. It is so, so good. But this is what he writes, “Essentialism is not about how to get more things done. It’s about how to get the right things done. It doesn’t mean just doing less for the sake of less, either. It is about making the wisest possible investment of your time and your energy in order to operate at our highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential.” What is essential for you?

This may be your WEG, your wildly elegant goal, that we did in our very first month together. This may be self-care. This may be around your finances. It may be around your family life. But what are your top three priorities in your life right now, in order? I want you to write those down, because the goal here is to align your calendar with what you say is important. So get clear on what your top priorities are right now.



Then exercise number three is your time inventory. I taught a class about three years ago on this topic, and I had women sending me emails, saying, “I had no idea how I was spending my time,” which is crazy. If you think about it, it is our most valuable resource, and yet many of us aren’t even aware of how we’re spending it. So what I want you to do is for 48 hours, I want you to keep a log of how you’re spending your time, everything, your time on social media, your time at work, your time in the car, your time eating, your time sleeping, your time getting dressed, your time doing whatever it is you do.

Do this without judgment. We want you to be curious about it. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re spending two hours on Facebook, because what you resist persists. Instead, I want you to be very curious as to, “Why am I choosing to spend my time on something that doesn’t necessarily add to the quality of my life, and isn’t leading me towards my goals?” I want you to keep this time inventory for 48 hours, and then I want you to ask yourself, “Does my time inventory accurately reflect what I say is a priority in my life?” Does how you’re spending your time match with what you say is important? If not, you need to figure out why. Why are you choosing to spend time over here versus on the things that you say are important to you? You may find that it’s not a priority. You may find that you think it should be a priority, but actually it’s not, so then you need to go back to exercise number two and figure out, “Okay, what are my true top three priorities?”

Another thing that I want to say about your time inventory is that I want you to notice how the way you’re using your time makes you feel, because time management really comes down to energy management. We want you using your time on things that feel good, that help you get closer to your dreams, to your goals, that help you feel rested, versus spending your time on things that drain your energy. So really pay attention to how the way you’re spending your time makes you feel.

Then we’re going to move to the next exercise, and this is called time wasters and time givers, because there are things that we do that add to the quality of our lives, and then there are things that we do that don’t align with our priorities, and actually take away from the quality of our lives. Those are time wasters.

Some of the common time wasters that I’ve identified are worry. Worry is a waste of time. It’s a misuse of your imagination. Some people say it’s praying for what you don’t want. Every time I’m in the state of worry, I’m less productive, I spin and a toxic cycle of overwhelm and really doing nothing, and this is when I love to do my list. Some of you may have heard me talk about this, but my list, God’s list. I write down everything I’m worried about, and then I divide it up. I put everything I have no control over on God’s list, and then I take care of what’s on my side of the list. I want you to understand that worry is a misuse of your time, because every time you worry, are you showing up? Are you taking action?

The other time waster that I’ve identified is people-pleasing, because oftentimes, when you’re



pleasing everybody else, you’re not showing up for what is a priority for you. So, maybe for you, it’s about saying no to all the people-pleasing so that you can say yes to yourself. Indecision. This is such a big time waster. I know so many of you are afraid of making the wrong decision, but the momentum is stalled in your life when you’re not making decisions. Make decisions and move on. You can’t make a wrong decision. You can simply make a decision that you learn from. So be willing to be decisive if you want to create more time for yourself.

The fear of failure is such a time waster, because when you’re living in that state of fear that you’re going to fail, often you don’t put yourself out there and do the things that’s required in order to create your goals, so fear of failure, huge waste of time. You’re going to feel it anyway, but just don’t sit around and entertain it, right? Keep showing up and using your time effectively.

Waiting to feel ready, time waster, because your brain is always going to tell you that you’re not ready. It’s always going to tell you that you need to take one more class. It’s always going to tell you that you probably should get another degree. And I’m not saying you shouldn’t do those things, but you need to look at your intention. You need to look at, “Am I doing this simply because I’m afraid to go out there and put myself in front of everyone? Is it because I don’t feel like I’m enough, or is it something that I’m genuinely excited about, that I really want to learn?”

Perfectionism, huge, huge waste of time. The amount of time I spent in perfectionism, if I could have that time back, I would be even further ahead than where I am now, because I would stall myself. I wouldn’t put things out there. I wouldn’t show up, because I was afraid of not being perfect, and that was definitely a waste of time. We need to focus on progress, not perfection. To me, that is part of elegant time management.

Another thing that I’ve been thinking about as potentially a waste of time, and this can be different for everyone, because I don’t believe that debt is necessarily bad, but I do feel like when we overspend, what we are doing is committing time on the back end to pay for that. We are literally trading our time for things, and all I’m saying is just be mindful of your spending, and is it costing you time or is it something that feels really good for you? That’s only something that you have to figure out. It’s something I can’t tell you if it’s good or bad for you, but it’s something that you just need to be mindful of, because for me, personally, sometimes I spend money and it feels really great, right? Other times, I spend it, it doesn’t feel so great. It is a waste of time.

I also don’t have debt, so I’m big on paying my things off. If I can’t afford it, I don’t buy it, so because of that, I feel like I’m buying time on the back end by not going into debt. But I will say, if something came up, there was an opportunity that I was really excited about, and I may have to go into debt temporarily, I would absolutely do it, because I don’t think debt is good or bad. It’s just something, again, to be mindful of, because it could potentially be a time waster.



But now let’s talk about time givers, things that you can do that actually give you back your time. One of them is meditation. Now, even though you’re sitting there and you’re spending time on it, it creates more space and more clarity, and it gives you back time because of how you feel after your meditation practice. I know for me personally, after I’ve meditated for 20 minutes, what follows that, I am so much more focused and productive, versus had I not spent that time in meditation. To me, it’s time well spent. The same goes for journaling. For me, journaling is a huge time giver, because I’m able to get so much clarity. I’m able to get myself in the state of being that I want to be in, in order to go out there and do what I’ve committed to do for the day.

Another one is planning and scheduling. This takes time up front, but on the back end, the time you get back by effectively planning and scheduling your life is enormous, so enormous. And sometimes, women will say to me, “Well, if you plan your whole life, where’s the spontaneity? Where’s the freedom in that?” What I can offer you all is that by planning and scheduling, I have so much more freedom than all of those years that I didn’t. I’m actually creating more time for myself. I don’t feel scattered. I’m getting things done. I’m moving forward. I’m creating the results that I’m wanting to create, and it’s because of planning and scheduling. To me, that is a huge, huge time giver.

Another one is exercise. Yes, it takes time to do it, but how I feel after I’ve exercised is so worth that investment of time, and I feel like on the back end, it has the potential of giving me a longer life, therefore giving me more time. Also, things like batching and automating gives me back my time. I love to batch my doctors’ appointments, and all of my appointments that I do on a monthly or every six month basis, I’ll try to get them all done in a day or two, so that I don’t have to think about them anymore, versus having them throughout the week, where I’m having to stop what I’m doing and go to an appointment, come back, and get back into the flow and back into the groove. I love batching.

The same goes for like my podcast. Many times, I’ll batch my podcasts, and do several in one day, and then I have more space and time on the back end of doing that. Then, the other one that I have down here is knowing my priorities gives me back my time. It is worth the investment in your time to sit down and really dig deep into what is a priority for you, so that you can begin to align your schedule with whatever that is. That is that exercise.

Then we’re going to move to exercise number five. This is what I call the yes and no list. Whenever you say yes to something, often it means saying no to something else. When you begin to say yes to the things that are important to you, and you make space for them on your calendar, it’s probably going to mean that you say no to other things. It may be saying no to an obligation of sitting on the PTO board. It may be saying no to wasting your time on social media. It may be no to commuting to work every day. You may decide, “You know what? That is time I want to get back. I’m going to look for a new job, because I don’t want to spend two hours commuting two and from work.” It’s going to be different for everyone, but once you get clear



on your priorities, and what needs to happen in order to live accordingly, then you’ll know what is a yes, and therefore you will begin to entertain, “So what is my no?” Okay, so there’s that.

Then the last exercise is super fun, because a lot of times, we’ll say to ourselves, “If I only had extra hours in the day.” I want you to pretend that I gave you four extra hours every single day. How would you use those four extra hours? Because oftentimes, what I’ve found is that the things that we want to do the most are the things that we would be doing in those extra hours. Women will say to me, “Well, I would exercise, or I would write my book, or I would work on my business,” so the goal of this exercise is for you to begin to ask yourself, “How can I put those things that are actually super important to me into my calendar? How can I make space for it?”

Because I don’t believe that you don’t have enough time. I believe that sometimes, we use that as an excuse to not show up and do the work that we’re meant to do. We use it as an excuse not to live our lives in alignment, because we know that by doing that, we’re going to have to say no to things. We may let people down. People may not be happy with our choice. We may have to do the hard things, by putting ourselves out there in the world, but that is where the most amazing life is existing for you, and you have to have the courage to decide what is important, and to make space for it in your life, and to use your time effectively for the service of your dreams and desires. So, let’s practice effective and simple time management this month. Let’s be elegant with how we use our time.

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10€¦ · The first thing is your thoughts around time, because how you think about time will depict how you feel, and how you feel, as you know, depicts what actions you take or