10 Ways To Tell If You Are A Perfectionist

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10 Ways To Tell If You Are A PerfectionistThis is part-1 of a 3-part series on why being a perfectionist isn’t so perfect and how we should deal with it.

Part 1: 10 Ways To Tell If You Are A PerfectionistPart 2: 6 Downsides of PerfectionismPart 3: How To Overcome Perfectionism: 8 Simple Steps

How can you tell if you are a perfectionist? A perfectionist is someone who holds the underlying belief thatperfection can be attained and it should be. Many people in our world today are perfectionists or have beenperfectionists at some point in our lives. Personally, I’m quite the perfectionist, always setting the higheststandards for myself and never expecting anything less. In fact, if you are reading this article, you areprobably a perfectionist too, being drawn to the word “perfectionist” in the title and all!

10 Ways To Tell If You Are A Perfectionist http://personalexcellence.co/blog/10-ways-to-tell-if-you-are-a-perfectionist/

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Are You A Perfectionist?

You can usually spot a perfectionist a mile away, simplybecause of the extremist behavior that is exhibited. Hereare ten tell-tale signs on whether you’re a perfectionistor not:

You are highly conscious and hyper-critical ofmistakes. Hence, you have an extremely sharpeye toward details.

1.

You aim to be the best in everything you do, evenif it is something that you are not interested in.

2.

You spend copious amount of time, right down tothe last moment, to perfect something. You wouldrather sacrifice your well-being (such as sleep,eating time, etc) than let something be less than itcan be.

3.

You set absolute ideals. There is only black and white, no grey.4.You are the harshest critic of yourself. You would beat yourself up over the smallest thing that wentwrong, to the extent of being neurotic.

5.

You mull over outcomes if they did not turn out as envisioned. You wonder why it wasn’t a differentoutcome, and whether you could have done anything to prevent that.

6.

You are defensive toward criticism and have a fear of failure because they suggest imperfection.7.You only have the end goal in mind. If you don’t achieve the goal, it really does not matter whathappens in the process.

8.

You have an all-or-nothing approach. If the situation does not allow him/her to achieve the standardhe/she laid out, he/she will abandon the task because it does not make sense to spend time onsomething that he/she is not going to conquer.

9.

You are very conscious of any situation which might give others the perception you are not perfect.10.

If you are a perfectionist, you will find the above traits highly familiar to you.

My experience with perfectionism

I used to be quite a neurotic perfectionist when I was younger, because of my passion toward becoming thebest that I can be. All of the 10 traits you just read above applied me to a tee. My motif in life was (still is)‘As long as you set your mind and heart to it, nothing is impossible in this world’. Whenever there wasany flaw or mistake that came in my sight, such as grammatical or spelling errors, typos, etc, I would flinch. Iwas always the harshest critic of myself.

When I started developing websites as a teenager, I would spend late nights, sleeping just 1-2 hours somedays, tweaking my sites to perfection, from the content, graphics, right up to the syntax itself. My sites had tolook perfect on all different browsers and resolutions. The works I produce had to be the best conceivable. Itwas a unbendable, personal standard I set for myself.

When I was in university, I usually ended up taking over everything in project work because I wantedeverything to match up to the idealized state I envisioned. I spent a lot of time perfecting tasks, right down tothe little nitty gritty. If it was a presentation, everything had to be synchronized to a common look and theme,right down to matching font types, font sizes, colors. If it was a report, all the content, flow and formattinghad to be seamless. There was hardly a time to stop doing work because it seemed that they could always be


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improved upon.

Whenever things did not go the way I wanted, I would overcompensate it by targeting a higher bar the nexttime round. Whenever I hear people making statements like ‘humans are not perfect’ or ‘to err is human’, Iwould cringe. To me, that was just trying to find an excuse to make mistakes. My philosophy was thatperfection was possible and as long as we put in all our effort and energy, we would achieve it. If we did not,it simply meant we did not try hard enough.

It was later on in life that I found that perfectionism was being a disabler, not an enabler, in my life, as youwill find in part-2 of the series.

What leads to perfectionism?

In general, there are three underlying motivations for perfectionism. Perfectionism may result due to eitherone or combination of any of the three reasons. If you are a perfectionist, you may be able to relate to one ormore of the following.

1. Fierce desire for growth

They expect perfection of themselves. Theirperfectionism is the result of an insatiable thirst anddesire for growth and to be the best that one can be. Tocome anything short would be not to live up to one’strue potential, which defeats the purpose in living.

2. Social expectations

Their perfectionism comes about because it is sociallyexpected of them. Family, teachers, coaches, managersand leaders with authoritarian, dictatorial styles induceperfectionism by drawing a high standard of benchmarkwe need to reach and reciprocating failure with forms ofpunishment. Failing is equated to being worthless. Schools and workplaces with a fierce culture ofcompetition and strong emphasis on performance and achievement are common breeding grounds forperfectionism. Society and media perpetuate untainted, flawless, virtual, perfect end states which aresubsequently brought to life in the form of imagery, verbal and sensory cues in advertising, marketing and idolworship. They create the aspiration toward unrealistic ideals and instill the belief that such ideals are in factachievable.

3. Sense of insecurity

For some people, perfectionism may arise out of insecurity of one’s own worth. People who have faceddiscrimination of sorts or sidelined since young develop a sense of inadequacy or void in themselves. Thisabyss in turn manifests the desire or need to overtly prove themselves through their actions andaccomplishments. They desire to make a statement about themselves, whether for themselves or other peoplearound them.

To you, the reader – Are you a perfectionist? What drives you to be one?

This is part-1 of a 3-part series on why being a perfectionist isn’t so perfect and how we should deal with it.


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« Perfectionism Series Overview 6 Downsides of Perfectionism »

Part 1: 10 Ways To Tell If You Are A PerfectionistPart 2: 6 Downsides of PerfectionismPart 3: How To Overcome Perfectionism: 8 Simple Steps

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Filed in: Awareness & Growth, Goals & Success | Published: Dec 17 2008 | By CelesTags: perfectionism8 Responses to "10 Ways To Tell If You Are A Perfectionist" | Share Your Thoughts

Tom Volkar / Delightful Work says:December 18, 2008 at 8:43 am

Thanks for a very thorough and well-written look at this disease. I call it that because the perfectioniststhat I have worked with and coached are far from taking life easy.

I have a couple of the tendencies but gratefully I am not a perfectionist. Good enough is often goodenough in my book.

“1. Fierce desire for growthThey expect perfection of themselves. Their perfectionism is the result of an unsatiable thirst and desirefor growth and to be the best that one can be. To come anything short would be not to live up to one’strue potential, which defeats the purpose in living.”

I found this very interesting. I hope this new insight for me helps me to help those I coach.

Like: 0

1.

Celes says:December 18, 2008 at 1:04 pm

Hi Tom! Thanks for your kind comment Indeed, perfectionists make their life the hardest for

2.

Like 106 Send


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themselves – so much so that they are just taking the joy out of living. The worst thing is when they arekept in their own world and there is no one to knock on their door to shake them out of their tendencies– it is important to let them know that perfectionism is a mindset in itself and it can be changed.

Like: 0

[email protected] says:December 21, 2008 at 3:31 am

Hi Celes!I enjoyed this post. Perfectionism is a two-edged sword. It can make people unhappy, and it can helppeople to achieve and improve. I wrote an article on perfectionism here:http://goodlifezen.com/2008/05/30/are-you-an-all-or-nothing-person-here%E2%80%99s-how-to-change/

Keep on writing, Celes!

Like: 1

3.

Davina says:December 21, 2008 at 9:14 am

Hi Celes. “I used to be quite a neurotic perfectionist when I was younger.” Hey girl, you’re only 24years old! :-) You are a wise soul.

I’m a recovering perfectionist. What I’m learning is that it’s not the details I’m trying to perfect, theycome naturally… I want to be clear about what the real message is that I want to share.

Like: 0

4.

Celes says:December 21, 2008 at 12:18 pm

@Mary: Thanks and glad you like the post! @Davina: Thanks for your comment I do the samething as well – focus on the message, and let the details worry themselves And they always fall inplace in someway or another!

Like: 1

5.

Juan Carlos Gayoso says:February 9, 2009 at 5:47 am

Thanks, my nice and dear friend :))

Like: 0

6.

e says:February 19, 2009 at 12:43 pm

7.


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Your article reminds me so much of my current self.I’m trying to learn how to quit being a perfectionist, which is the main reason why I’m here right now.Thanks for the article! =D

Like: 0

Celes says:February 20, 2009 at 4:47 pm

Hey e, no problem! Welcome here and I’m glad the article is helpful for you! Hope to see youaround soon!

Like: 0

8.

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