-
8/2/2019 101 Things to Do at Wal
1/3
101 Things to Do at Wal-Mart
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of
gift-wrap.
9. When there are people behind you walk REALLY SLOW, especially
in thin,narrow aisles.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all
off and turn the
volumes to 10.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, Hi! I havent seen you
in so long
etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for
all to hear, Who BUYS this junk, anyway?
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five
feet away.
Continue to do this until they leave the department.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look
mesmerized and
say, Wow. Magic!
20. Put M&Ms on layaway.
21. Move Caution: Wet Floor signs to carpeted areas.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
Im Batman.
Come, Robin, to the Batcave!
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask,
Why wont you
people just leave me alone?
30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if
there are any
in stock, i.e., Do you have any Shnerples here?
-
8/2/2019 101 Things to Do at Wal
2/3
31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale
battlefield with G.I.
Joes vs. the X-Men.
34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission:
Impossible.
35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing
your legs
together and practically yell at him I need some tampons!!
37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
40. Say things like, Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies?
42. Two words: Marco Polo.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the
fetal
position and scream, No, no! Its those voices again!
62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through,
say things like
the fat man walks alone, and scare them into believing that the
clothes are
talking to them
63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and
get into a very
serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and
you begin
crying How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I
knew there was
another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling.
Then act as though
you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and
having
convulsions.
65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and
begin stroking it
lovingly, saying Good girl, good Bessie.
75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that youre a cat.
Meow when
people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.
-
8/2/2019 101 Things to Do at Wal
3/3
82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say Hello, how
may I help
you? say Yes, Ill have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one
strawberry shake, a
large order of French fries and a diet coke. And when they start
to talk, say Oh,
to go. Then when they say that they cant give it to you say Oh,
This is because
Im gay isnt it? Id expect this from Target, but not Wal-Mart.
People who are gay
are just like everyone else you know. You disgust me, then walk
away mumbling
to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley-girl-like as
you can
97. Walk up to a guy and say Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it
is!!! I havent
seen you in so long!!!! Then kiss him. Then slap and him say,
Why didnt you
ever call me?? Then walk away. This is much more affective if
youre a guy.
98. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend that your a mannequin.
Try to hold
the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as
someone is walking by,
check your watch and say. Finally, my shift is done. I really
dont get paid
enough to do this
