28 Day Ultimate Guide “New You, New Life”

By

James Dawborn

Edited By

Kymmie Krieger

Copyright 2013 by James Dawborn

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Contents

1-­‐  Introduction    2-­‐  Chapter  1  -­‐  Step  1-­‐  Emotional  Strength  –  Covering  Topics  on:    Body  Language  Emotional  States  Positive  Thinking  Conquering  Fear  Building  Confidence  Understanding  Change    3.  Chapter  2  -­‐  Step  2-­‐  Align  Your  Blue  Print  –  Covering  Topics  on:      Depression  Keeping  Anger  at  Bay  Values  and  Beliefs  Should  vs.  Must    4.  Chapter  3  -­‐  Step  3-­‐  Progress  to  Happiness  28  Day  Guide–  Covering  Topics  on:    Building  Self-­‐esteem    Positive  Energy    28  Days  to  Success-­‐  The  Walkthrough    5.  Chapter  4  -­‐  Step  4-­‐  Wealth  Management  –  Covering  Topics  on:  Personal  Budget  Planner    6.  Chapter  5  -­‐  Step  5-­‐  Final  Step  to  Success  -­‐  Covering  Topics  on:    Treat  Yourself    Discover  Your  Compelling  Future  Health  and  Fitness  Final  Words  from  James  Dawborn  

Introduction Hello friend, My name is James Dawborn, and I am going to be your inspirational life coach for the next 28 days. Exciting already, isn’t it? Congratulations, and welcome to your new, life-changing 28-Day Ultimate Guide: New You, New Life book. This is definitely the start of something special in your life! Inside this book, I will provide and equip you with the necessary tools to begin slaying your fears, creating compelling goals, and immediately inciting minute yet monumental changes that will grow you, in mind, body, and soul. I will reveal methods that will give you the freedom to boost your self-worth, and write your very own success story! This is the first of many books that I hope to write, sharing my knowledge and inspiration along the way. While I am not a world famous entity, I know my path in life and that it includes helping to transform the lives of as many people as possible (Including you!). You could say I am a new contender in the ever-evolving world of self-development. I have attained the expert qualifications needed professionally in life coaching, with most of my knowledge stemming from my ten years of field experience pertaining to the mental effects of people from different economic backgrounds. My other experiences have evolved from being a personal fitness trainer. I have had the pleasure of training many diverse clients and seeing the positive impacts that fitness and health have on an individual’s life, goals, and attitude. The human mind is a fascinating tool. Moreover, it is very interesting to see how quickly people can spiral out of control, lacking the emotional strength to pick themselves up. This downward turn is the reason why we see depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, and extreme crime plaguing the world around us. However, there is a positive flip side (Thank goodness, right?). I have found, throughout all of my experience, that there are key areas in life that when cultivated and expanded upon provide you with a fantastic foothold of success in whatever field you desire.

From your emotional strength to your core beliefs, I invite you to take this journey with me, opening up your mind to the possibility that change is feasible. Often throughout this book, I will repeat myself, reiterating core concepts and important lessons. These must be learned, taken to heart, and remembered if you truly wish to make the necessary changes in your life. I want to reassure you that no matter what your background holds or what internal conflicts you harbor (from depression to phobias), the common principles, contained in this program, can help soothe your past. Now, there are a few items that will be handy when completing tasks within this 28 day program. Are you ready? First, you will need a note book/journal, and second, grab a diary. I will explain in more detail later why these are needed, but I wanted to give you the “heads up” now. Before we begin, the biggest challenge you will face when creating new emotional strength is being fully ready to “grab the bull by the horns,” solidifying your commitment. This guide will present you with the methods and tasks to create a new life, BUT you have to be ready to fully engage and actively commit to the change! If you’re not completely focused, you simply cannot give 100%, and you, therefore, will not fully experience the amazing and life-changing benefits that this program offers. Your first task is to ask yourself this important question: Are you ready to rumble? Just kidding. But, really, are you ready? In buying this book, I assume that you must play host to some inner element of unhappiness; however, I am more interested in your purpose. I’m not going to pull any punches here. I, truthfully, want you to know that it’s going to take effort, endurance, and dedication to leap towards success. As any athlete will tell you, performance is 80% mental and only 20% physical (Don’t you wish you had known that as a kid?). Make no mistake, success is intentional and to think otherwise is foolish.

I like to envision life as an art piece; it takes time and effort to create something that is both visually beautiful and well thought out. If you can dream it, you can create it (with the right materials, tools, and ideas). Your vision put into action can capture the hearts and souls of others, proving memorable to all whom you touch.

***************** Minute Motivator You are here for a reason, so make something of your life, whatever it may be. Have the confidence to see things through. You will not regret it (believe me).

***************** I feel it’s necessary to highlight that in order to grow and develop as a person, you need to first understand your emotional state, which includes knowing when to motivate, when to work hard, and when to persevere. If you commit to and complete the exercises and steps within this book, I assure you that life will take a turn in your favor. This world is similar to a huge magnet and has to eventually balance out. With a little rewiring of your emotional psychology, you can learn to use life to your advantage. Your dreams will become reality, and you will realize that anything is possible (should you choose it to be)! Remember, your destiny is in your hands (no one else’s)! All that is needed is FOCUS, DETERMINATION, VISION, and A SMIDGE OF SELF CONFIDENCE! With all these tools in your arsenal, anything in life is achievable. You can attain a rich, fulfilling life, whether career-wise, financially, spiritually, health-wise, physically, or relationally. Do not saddle others around you with the responsibility of making you happy. There will be moments when they let you down, and you will feel rejected. But, have faith in yourself. Make your own path in life, and let no one else take away from who you truly are.

Let’s take a moment, and think about successful people. Do you have successful people surrounding you? Think about the big picture. Success does not necessarily have to be limited to financial wealth. It can be happiness or achievement in the form of spirituality, fitness, health, or even a career. So, how do successful people bring in the “dough?” That’s the million dollar question, right? The first step is to take some time to research and learn about how the successful people you know actually became successful. If they’re a close friend, it’s easy! Just ask them. If they are an idol or a role model of yours, take a look at what methods helped them transition from idea to reality. I guarantee that digging into a successful man’s (or woman’s) journey will bring new inspiration and even give you some unique ideas to use along your own path. Now, think about what makes successful people different from you (aside from their mansions, Ferraris, and private jets)? Okay, I kid, but seriously, think about it. Some were born into money. Some were not. Some were instantly given amazing skills and physiques. Some were not. Some had the luxury of jumping straight into their dream job or buying their dream house, but again, some did not. Most successful people increased their knowledge, embraced change, remained open minded, honed in on their goals, designed a plan to achieve their vision, and set it in motion to get solid results. Thoughts took life and became actions! And, you can do the same. Now, within this book, there will be exercises for you to work through. Take as much time as needed to complete each one. Here is Exercise 1:

***************** Exercise 1 – Conducting research You are going to research two people, who in your eyes, are successful. They can be male or female, successful in any

field. In your new notebook, I want you to describe each one, answering the following: 1) Who is he/she? 2) What he/she do to be successful? 3) Did he/she start off with wealth? 4) What is his/her back ground? 5) How did he/she find his/her success? For this task, feel free to write quick summaries. Once you have done this, write down the strengths you think each of the two possessed. This may take a while, so please, take whatever time you need to achieve this.

***************** Right now you may be thinking, “Why in the world is he asking me to do this?” And, here’s your answer: I want you to be open minded, remembering that in most cases, successful people start off with nothing and make significant changes in their way of thinking. These changes in philosophy allow them to devote more time to their vision. Your research will help you see their courses of action and the obstacles they overcame along the road to success. Now, here comes the juicy stuff! Are you ready? There are five main areas of a person’s life that everyone can relate to, no matter the background, situation, or circumstance. Referring back to these five key areas can help you better understand yourself and others. Get ready because this is FACINATING STUFF!!! So, let’s jump right to it. 1. Emotional Strength – It just sounds important, doesn’t it? I have mentioned this attribute several times already, as it is by far the most important factor to success. Stemming from our thoughts and our actions, emotional strength gives us the ability to respond to our gut feelings. It gives us the power to seek solutions to our

problems and determine how quickly we can shift from one emotion to the next. It’s our internal regulator and powerhouse! 2. Comfort – How many people do you know that refuse to leave their comfort zone? Are you pointing at yourself? Are you one of these people? If you are, that’s completely okay. However, it’s important to understand that a lack of comfort in oneself has a massive impact on the thought process. Relationships, for example, rely heavily on both parties feeling comfortable and safe. If these feelings are not present, the relationship can lose control, triggering conflicting emotions such as anger, frustration, sadness, and depression. Comfort is definitely an essential! 3. Control – Raise your hand if you’re a control freak and proud of it (I kid, of course)! However, though it sounds like a negative connotation, most people prefer to be in control of their own lives. I definitely want to direct my own feelings and actions, so I can focus on my strengths, achieve my goals, and progress successfully in life. Control or be controlled, it’s your choice! 4. Value – Who doesn’t like to feel important? We all enjoy being appreciated and valued, whether at work, home, or in a relationship. Feeling valued is a huge emotional factor, which affects our thoughts, self-confidence, and self-image. Moreover, feeling insignificant can cause a loss of our sense of purpose, which can also trigger other unwanted emotions. A sense of true value is emotionally invaluable! 5. Love and Growth – And of course, I saved the best for last. Only when you are completely happy, content, and fulfilled yourself can you truly love others and experience inner growth. You will experience an unmatched connection with others and gain great satisfaction from feeling loved. Relationships grant us the certainty we desire, and with that, we naturally grow individually and in our relationships as well. Love and growth are a perfect pair (like peanut butter and jelly)! Your mindset is pivotal in achieving your goals. Your ability to focus, determination for achievement, desire for life progress, and application of the right mindset WILL ultimately steer you in your desired direction. It’s as simple as opening your mind and accepting some basic truths (regarding who you really are deep

inside and how much effort you’re willing to put into achieving your dreams). In this ever-changing and unpredictable world, anything can be thrown in your path, potentially spiraling your life out of control. To survive the storm, you have to prepare yourself for the potential emotional fallout. Have you ever been caught in an uncontrollable, swirling tornado of emotion (including anger, sadness, fear, and frustration)? It’s no fun now, is it? You jump from one emotion to another, and it is extremely difficult to break this cycle. Control and confidence are going to be the keys to your success during this journey. Once you acquire these (and you will jump for joy when you do), you will be able to put the past behind you, and only focus on the future. This can definitely be a rewarding step, if you allow it to be. Gaining control of our own lives is a major component of our psychology, essential for our success. In addition to control and confidence, you need to have respect for yourself and others around you. We all need core beliefs, most of which are shaped and developed throughout our adolescent years. These beliefs steer how we act, how we think, and the decisions we make. Wouldn’t it be grand to live a life of sheer significance, achieving all of your dreams? Wouldn’t you love to be able to hold your head up high each day, proud of who you are? Many people believe that since this isn’t an animated Disney movie (with talking animals and fairytale endings), those kinds of feelings aren’t attainable. And, that couldn’t be more false! You CAN have the strength and sheer determination to go out into this tough world, and grab it by the horns proclaiming, “World, get ready! Here I come!”

***************** Minute Motivator It does not matter how old you are, where you are from, or how much money you have. What truly matters is that you

wake up each morning, find the positive in your situation, and focus on achieving your dreams. Whether you want more from this life or not, we only get one life to live. So, LIVE IT and LOVE IT!

***************** Today is your moment to change! Notice, I didn’t say next week or in a few years. Right now is the time to decide what you want from life, and start accumulating the tools to achieve your goals. I know you will be glad to hear that I am not going to hold you in suspense until the end of this book to tell you the key to success. In fact, I’m going to tell you right now. Awesome, right? The key to happiness is continually making progress. It’s the ability to make things happen, whether it’s changing a career, choosing a healthier lifestyle, reviving spiritual health, or overcoming a fear or phobia. It is crucial to design and focus on a compelling future, aligning yourself with this path and growing as an individual. Self-motivation and determination will inevitably build along your road to success. (Happiness + Progress = Success) It’s a simple equation! And, you can make it your own! But first, you will need to make some important decisions about what you truly want out of life and how you intend on achieving your wildest dreams. If you truly desire a fulfilling life, you will be amazed to hear that with some slight adjustments to your emotional strength and current actions, you can experience instant gratification coupled with gradual progress. I have divided this 28-day guide into five main stepping-stones for you to utilize along your path to success. From assessing your financial situation to having a more positive outlook on life, I promise that after reading and completing the challenges I set out

for you, you will instantly feel self-gratification and see a positive difference in your life. Doesn’t that sound great? Who doesn’t want some positive change in their life? Right now, hopefully you’re thinking, “Bring it on, James! I’m ready!” This book is scaled down into easily digestible chunks, which I believe constitute the core areas that will immediately begin initiating change within you. The FIVE STEPS are as follows: Step 1 – Emotional Strength Step 2 – Your Blue Print Step 3 – Happiness = Progress 28 Day Guide Step 4 – Wealth Management Step 5 – Final Step to Success

***************** Minute Motivator A sincere chance for happiness is presented within this book. So, open your mind, and focus on what could be and what is, rather than what was. Your past is a mere shadow of who you were. Yes, it’s true that sometimes you need to remember to the past (so as not to repeat mistakes); however, it is best to only focus on the positive memories. Be inspirational and creative with your life. You have the power, motivation, and drive to make the best of every situation!

*****************

Chapter 1 - Step 1 – Emotional Strength Sounds kind of like an oxymoron doesn’t it? But never fear. If it wasn’t key, I wouldn’t waste your time with it. Emotional strength is vital in changing your mentality and in becoming more focused and energetic about life. It will give you a new sense of purpose, help you align your wants/needs, and, most importantly, allow you to handle unexpected events, while attaining the best possible results. Grasping this concept shows you are already a winner! Emotional strength is defined as your ability to control your actions, thoughts, and feelings to attain the results you seek and desire. However, first, you may need to rewire your emotions in order to achieve this. You need to become confidant in who you are, digging down deep into your core. Think about what really makes you happy in life. It might be helpful (at this stage) to write these questions out and spend some time spelling out your answers. Self-reflection, here we come with Exercise 2:

***************** Exercise 2 Rank the following aspects of your life, ranging from 1-10 (1 = very unhappy / 10 = the best it will ever be). This will help clarify which areas you wish to improve upon. 1- Career= 2- Money = 3- Health = 4- Family and Friends =

5- Personal Growth = 6- Fitness = 7- Love/Relationships = 8- Time for Yourself =

***************** Are we having fun, yet? Remember, there are no right or wrong answers, and there is no judgment here. This is all about you! So, try not to be vague with your answers; be as specific as possible because this will later help you to develop more achievable and accurate goals. Remember, these changes are your personal desires, not those of others. You are doing this for yourself and to ensure your own happiness! Now, let’s dig a little deeper (into our Grand Canyon of emotions). What is currently stopping you from having the kind of life and relationships you desire? If you currently don’t know what you want from life or are stuck in a lightless tunnel, this is the best time to get back to basics. Think about what you do know and identify the underlying issues related to your feelings. We’re all in the same boat (metaphorically)! So, here are some examples that you may relate to or even be experiencing yourself: 1- Are you in a relationship that you know, deep down, isn’t working out? Are you worried about the consequences of leaving that person, as well as the thought of being alone? 2- Do you have a job that does not provide you with any satisfaction? Do you believe that you’re simply working long hours for someone else’s benefit? Do you feel like no matter how much effort you put in, there is never any true gratitude or appreciation on the part of your employer?

3- Are you saddled with debt, such as credit cards balances, bank loans, student loans, or mortgage payments? Have you possibly become addicted to gambling? Do you fear you will never be capable of paying off your debt, and your life is spinning in chaotic circles, without a shred of hope in sight? 4- Are you overly stressed at work and at home? Is your health deteriorating due to a poor diet and a lack of physical exercise? Is your couch your new favorite hiding place? 5- Due to life events, have you lost control, become depressed, and resorted to a life of addiction to drugs, alcohol, or some other means? Are you aware that it may give you a short-term fix, but it will never solve your problems in the long run? 6- Are you intimidated by friends and family and lack the courage and confidence to stand up to them? Are you afraid of the outcome of showing others you are an adult, a strong person, and a reliable friend? I have found that all of these situations and experiences are obstacles that many people struggle with in their everyday lives. Luckily, there are easily identifiable, common factors present in all of them. However, the most important factor in these situations is gaining the self-belief and self-confidence to take control of your own life and your own decisions. Think about why you chose this book. Hopefully, you are aware that there are thousands reading right along with you. You are definitely not alone! For whatever reason you decided to embark upon this journey, it’s imperative to remember that others are right there, paddling side-by-side with you, hoping to reach the shore of success. Regardless of circumstance, it all comes down to your emotional health. The end result will change depending on your values, your beliefs, and your comfort zone, but your emotional health is the foundation we must build to withstand any storm. Now, on to Exercise 3.

Jumping jacks! Ready, set, go! I kid, again; however, answering the questions below will help you ‘jump start’ your brain into pondering some of the key goals you want to accomplish in life.

***************** Exercise 3 1. What do I want in life? 2. What do I want more of? 3. What areas of my life am I happy with? 4. What areas of my life am I not happy with? 5. How will I know when I have achieved what I want? 6. What is preventing me from having what I desire? 7. How badly do I really want this change? 8. What am I prepared to do to achieve my goals?

Think about it. What really makes you tick (not ‘ticks you off’ but makes you tick)? What are you passionate about? Maybe it’s your career you want to change. Maybe you want to spend more time with your family and friends. Maybe you’re sick of being hurt by others. Maybe you want the courage to be independent and not have to rely on other people. Whatever your reasons are write them down and explain why.

***************** Now that you’ve identified the areas of your life you are not happy with, you can begin setting goals that aim to directly rectify specific situations and areas you need help with. Everyone needs help with something, right? So, don’t be shy! Level with yourself about your true needs. Perhaps you wish to increase your confidence so you can establish better relationships with others. Maybe you desire to more fully develop your fitness levels so you can lead a healthier lifestyle, guaranteeing that you’ll be there when your children need you. Once you have the answers to these questions, you can properly

strive to shape your vision, or at the very least, begin taking great steps in the right direction. You can have as many goals as you wish, keeping in mind they need to be realistic and attainable. If you are still unclear as to what it is you want or what your goals should be, don’t panic! They will come to you (maybe not in a crystal ball but it will happen). Though it may not be right away, your dreams will present themselves to you at the right time. Haven’t you ever noticed you never find your long-lost sock until you stop looking for it (or for me, until after I throw the matchless sock-mate away)? Then, BAM, there is it! It has been my experience that dreams and visions usually arrive just when you least expect them (sounds magical doesn’t it?). You may be just sitting at home or at work, and your thoughts suddenly turn to deeper life questions. Then out of nowhere, an idea, dream, or desire pops into your head, and thus it begins. It’s moments like these that you become more determined and focused than ever. Remember this saying: Energy flows where focus goes. Doesn’t that make great sense when you really think about it? Our energies are directed and devoted to those entities that consume our focus. Inside your mind lies the key to unlocking the right changes in the key areas of your life. It all comes down to the way you think and perceive life. Right now, you’re probably reading this thinking, “Thanks for the breakthrough moment, James (definitely sarcasm),” but it’s true! What we focus on, we, therefore, attract. I mentioned, in the beginning of this book, that the world is like a magnet. Well, it’s the same for all our thoughts, goals, and dreams. If life hits you with some hard, negative blows and you let them define you, controlling your thoughts, you will undoubtedly attract negative responses and outcomes. So, how do you make lemonade out of life’s lemons? By thinking positively (especially through the difficult times in your life), you will inevitably attract more positive outcomes. Why?

Because you will have put yourself in a stronger position to deal with the problems that come your way, and you will have the confidence to solve them. The mind is like a filter system, and you are in charge of telling it what ‘negative crap’ to flush out. So, start flushing! There is no greater feeling than that of achievement. Whether it’s helping another or making a true difference in someone’s life, it is a pure sense of significance that will positively overwhelm you. Achievement is a desire we all have, a basic need for control in our own lives. So now, it’s take charge time! From this moment on, you need to command certainty in your life. Be assertive, and create a compelling future for yourself. A helpful tip is to start interjecting more positive words into your vocabulary, while going about your day-to-day business. Have you ever noticed that when you talk to a ‘Negative Nancy,’ he/she will hardly ever use a positive word? Don’t become that person! So, the next time you talk to someone (whether it’s a work colleague, friend, or family member), try to spot the negative words they use in a casual conversation. Keep count, if you can. You will be surprised how often and frequently negative words and connotations are used when they are consuming someone’s life. All these negative words, thoughts, and beliefs directly affect an individual’s day-to-day life. Interestingly, studies have shown that people who are pessimistic are more accurate and realistic in their everyday duties. Whereas, optimists see themselves doing better, being more effective, and having more potential. So, in essence, optimists have a greater success rate due to their belief that they can do anything; whereas, pessimists limit themselves, never pushing their limits. Definitely something to think about! Body Language Body language is always an interesting subject to talk about. It’s your physical state reflecting what you’re thinking and feeling, even

when you’re unaware of the outward display. Our thoughts literally become actions. For example, if someone is feeling down, depressed, upset, or uncomfortable, they would typically have their head lowered, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. Their shoulders would slump, and their arms might be crossed, closing off their body. Can you remember a time where this happened to you? How did you feel? What was your emotional state like? What were you doing at the time? How did you move on? On the flip side of the coin, think about someone’s body language in a state of happiness, joy, or excitement. Yep, you guessed it. It would be the exact opposite. Their shoulders would be raised, head held high, body open, and hand gestures flying in sync with the conversation. They would make sure their presence was known, and every action they made would be decisive, oozing with confidence. So, how can we utilize body language when we want it? Well, the best way to do this is to visualize. Think back to a time where you were engulfed in an excited state. Remember exactly how it made you feel. This is a fantastic opportunity to relive a “blast from the past.” So, close your eyes and relive the moment. Recall the pleasure and excitement. These states are where you excel and confidence grows. Reaffirming your belief and confidence in yourself will renew your spirit. It will give you a new sense of self that will make a huge difference in your everyday life and encounters. Be strong in your life’s desires, affirm your beliefs, and control your mental state. You, and ONLY YOU, determine your path in life (and your body language shows it- so throw those shoulders back)! Emotional States Having a strong, positive emotional state is ideal for enforcing commitment to a cause. If you are suffering from too many negative vibes, this can have quite an impact on your health, draining away your energy and creating abnormally high levels of stress. It can also trickle down to the people around you, as negative energy tends to flow to others with a ripple effect.

The big question is: “How do I know what state I’m in?” And don’t worry, we will answer that question together. Do I ever leave you hanging? Never. The best way to identify your emotional state is to write a journal for seven days. You will note how you feel (good or bad) each morning, noon, and night. This will then allow you to refer back, review, and assess what impacted your emotional states, such as what made you grumpy, sad, angry, happy, confident, or cheerful. This does not have to be time consuming. Simply jot down your emotions and what triggered them. Once you determine what initiates certain emotional states within, you can implement a reward system for successful tasks. This will make the process more enjoyable. You don’t have to be a kid to love rewards. Now, let’s dive into Exercise 4:

***************** Exercise 4 Buy yourself a journal and a diary. Each day, write down your thoughts and feelings in your diary. If you’re sad, then describe the reason for your sadness. If you’re happy, then explain the reason for your happiness. It is important to record these entries each day, so you can build an accurate record of the emotional triggers that exist in your daily life. Now, on to the journal. It is good to write significant things and events down on paper. Jot down your thoughts, plans you need to make, notes, or even information given to you by others. This is a helpful resource for you to refer back to later. The journal’s purpose is act as an organizational tool. The diary’s purpose is to record and evaluate your emotions. Okay, let’s presume that you currently have a better

understanding of your emotional states. How can we now use those positive triggers and states (that you’ve identified) to influence our daily business and interactions?

***************** Well, it’s easy. This can be accomplished by associating previous, positive experiences with metaphors, sounds, or hand movements, so that when you wish to access these hidden energies, you can simply use a recall mechanism to instantly change your emotional state. It will take some practice, but I am confident you will soon become skilled at unlocking these pockets of hidden energy. Think back to a time where you needed to come up with instant energy. Maybe it was during a sports match or game, which required you to push yourself to keep up? Try to visualize what it was that triggered you to push yourself. You will probably come to the realization that the trigger was internal, where you said to yourself, “I have to do this. I can’t let myself down. I have to push through this.” And with that small burst of momentum, you preserved, and afterwards, you felt a true sense of self accomplishment. Now, it’s time to develop a hand signal, sound, or saying that you can use to reignite that fiery emotion again. The idea is to create a connection between the two, an internal response. For example, when you hear rhythmic, club music, it makes you want to get up and dance, right? This is the power of association using sounds or gestures. You can also do something called incantations, which I want you to try as well. Ensure that you are in a safe environment, and sit back, raising your shoulders up and pushing your chest out. I want you to imagine a surge of flowing energy rushing through your body. Feel it flow up your legs and then through your back. Imagine it reaching out across your arms and hands, finally reaching the top of your head. Feel the rush throughout your body as this energy takes over. I want you to now recall a time where you truly achieved success. It can be from any time period in your life, but pick a specific time when you felt like you were literally on top of the world.

Can you visualize it? Great! Now, do you remember exactly how that moment felt? Relive that moment right now. Take it all in, thinking about where you were, whom you were with, and what it was that brought you such great joy and excitement. As you embrace these feelings, you should begin to feel more assertive and physically refreshed. If not, then move to a more secluded, quiet, safe place where you can refocus, and try again. Contemplate your body language, thinking through the differences between good and bad posture. Then the next time you are out on the town, be observant of other people’s body language. You will begin to see for yourself how body language can truly foreshadow a person’s mood or feelings. Here we go with Exercise 5:

***************** Exercise 5 Now, I know you’re going to think I’m crazy, but just trust me on this one, okay? I promise, this really does work. For this exercise, I want you to give incantations a try on a daily basis. It’s best to pick a time where you can be completely alone and uninterrupted. Doing this in the car will definitely get you some stares (or may even cause an accident), and doing it in front of your spouse or family may raise some eyebrows (or cause them to call a shrink). First, in your journal, you need to write a short, positive, motivational sentence that you can say quietly to yourself while doing these incantations (or when you start to feel low). Use words that promote positive energy such as confidence, energy, focus, command, and power. Here is an example: “I now command myself with all the power inside of me to make a difference in my life and in the lives of others around me. I will be confident. I will be decisive, and I will not let fear

get in my way.” I want you to do this at least once a day (more if possible), but I also want you to believe it. There’s no point in saying something unless you truly believe it. You will not progress until you have confidence in your own words (This will become even more apparent when we discuss your values and standards).

***************** Feeling confident is a positive emotional state, and with a little practice, your goal is to be able to put yourself into positive states whenever you need to. For instance, think about a job interview. Before you arrive, you should spend some time alone, moving yourself into a ‘happy place.’ You should envision your success in attaining that job, have confidence in your thoughts, think outside the box, and realize your own potential. Just as you research a company prior to entering an interview, you also research your mood and prepare emotionally. In essence, a positive, inspiring emotional state will win the job. Something else worth mentioning is the fact that with all the build-up of negative emotions, often you will develop little demons, hell bent on preventing you from being successful. But, don’t worry. This is not your fault. It’s simply your mind trying to rationalize why you can’t possibly achieve a goal and would rather stick to a safe plan. Our minds often play the “better safe than sorry” card. Sometimes, your mind may tell you that a task can wait until later or that there are limits to what you are capable of. Whatever your little demon’s excuse is, don’t allow him to nuzzle his way back into your positive mindset. Kick that demon to the curb! The key to destroying your demons is to immediately stomp on them with your reaffirming “shoe of belief.” STOMP! Remember, your purpose and your goals. Are you easily distracted? Why is that? What kinds of things distract you? Set small, achievable goals for yourself, and begin targeting them with

conviction. Your journey can be enjoyable and fun. No one said we had to miserable, right? Now, onward to Exercise 6:

***************** Exercise 6 What are your strengths and Weaknesses? Write into your journal a list. What are you good at? Everything is in play here, like skills, qualifications, attributes, personality traits, likes, and dislikes. Be open minded. Do not limit yourself. Express your positivity in this table. Then once you have evaluated your strengths, go ahead and brainstorm some weaknesses you have (or areas you wish to build upon). Remember, no one knows you better than YOU! And, this is just for you, so fire away!

***************** So, right now you’re wondering, “Why do I need to do this? Why must I write down my strengths and weaknesses when I obviously know them?” Well, the answer is simple. The best way to truly understand something is to analyze it after dissecting it into small, identifiable chunks. By doing this, you can then focus on the positive (and your strengths) rather than living a life plagued with negative energy. Positive Thinking It’s all positive from here on out, got it? What I need you to do is start honing in on the positives and blocking out the negatives.

Generalizing is part of our nature (and very easy to do), so we tend to make predictions based on similar past experiences. For example, if you lose while playing a particular computer game, you may naturally assume that you are not good at other unrelated computer games. If you fail a math exam, you may assume that you’re not a good test taker. Generalizing is easy to pick up on, as you usually hear words such as these used: never, everyone, always, and typical. Without clear evidence in front of you, it’s easy to make assumptions, and calculate your own endings. In order to combat this cycle, you have to open up your mind, look at each individual situation in isolation, and prepare to accept that sometimes things just go wrong. However, the good news is that just because something happened once, does not necessarily mean that it will happen again in the future. Anxious people have a tendency to allow their imaginations and fears to run wild, assuming the worst in every situation. This line of thinking would be an example: “My car broke down, and now, I can’t get to work. This is just typical. I am going to lose my job. Then, I won’t be able to pay my bills. Everyone will hate me, and I won’t be able to provide for my family. We will lose our house, and I will be a failure. Why does this always happen to me?” People who think in this negative manner will always have a negative end result (no matter what the true outcome) because they will find a reason to see the bad in every situation. Another line of negative thinking is to always believe everything you hear, such as rumors and gossip. This is very easy to do because, as humans, we strive for acceptance from both ourselves and others. The “blame game” is another fabulous way to create excuses for yourself, showing that it couldn’t possibly have been your fault (no matter what the ‘it’ is). It is a tactical maneuver to strategically push the blame as far away from yourself as possible. Please know that when you set your goals so high that anyone who makes a mistake automatically “lets you down,” there is a serious flaw in your belief system.

On the flip side, people who have obsessive-compulsive disorder (commonly known as OCD), blame themselves all the time, fearing the very worst in some cases. OCD is defined as a psychiatric disorder characterized by obsessive thoughts and compulsive behavior, such as continual washing of the hands prompted by a feeling of uncleanliness. They are constantly attempting to reduce their anxiety. The mind plays a huge role in making an OCD individual feel guilty and responsible in most cases. Luckily, all of these states mentioned can be maintained through learning to see your values as a personal choice. It is always best to ask yourself what someone else might think or feel if put in your position, giving yourself some better insight into the situation. Taking on Fear So, besides spiders and scary monsters, what are your fears? Do you have any? What scares you most? Some of the most common fears can be financial worry, lack of confidence, not believing in yourself, loneliness, and rejection. Fear can also come from experiencing life-changing moments that have scarred you, completely knocking your emotions into an instantaneous, downward spiral. All of these examples have the power to stop you dead in your tracks, make you turn around, and head for the hills. Let’s take a look at scary Exercise 7 (kidding, of course):

***************** Exercise 7 Its time to identify your fears (Sounds more appealing than a root canal, doesn’t it? – maybe not). Grab your journal, and begin writing down your fears. Be honest! You have to have at least one or two (or ten). Think big picture. Think about how pleasant it would be to not have that fear in your life. Now, answer these questions:

1. Have you already tried to confront this fear? 2. Is there anything you can do to defeat or conquer this fear? 3. How could you accomplish this victory over your fear? 4. Can you research your fear (and possible solutions) online? 5. Do you need a professional’s advice?

***************** To battle these fears takes a strong combination of inner strength, focus, determination, courage, and motivation. But please remember, if you do not feel strong enough to do this by yourself, then simply don’t. It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help (and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise). There are countless resources available to aid you in overcoming your fears. From hypnotherapy to psychotherapy, there are dozens of affordable options out there. And sometimes, if you look in the right place, help can even be free (However, please be careful with this, as often you get what you pay for). So, don’t be afraid. Reach out to someone (a friend or a professional), and realize you’re not alone. Pain is something we all go through; however, whether you chose to suffer (rather than seek help) and persevere is what counts! If you look closely at fear, it is, in fact, a motivator. Sounds crazy, right? But, it’s true. It can strike at any time, and when it does, it possesses the power it to make people do extraordinary things. Imagine having the confidence to use that fearful energy for something positive. The results would be electrifying! Fear is purely mental, and even though it may give you a beneficial sense of clarity in certain situations, the trick is learning to harness it, control it, and use it wisely. Anxiety, a type of fear, is described as a feeling of worry, a strong desire to do something, or extreme apprehension. When anxious, people often find the power within themselves to take situations to extremes, exhibiting signs of instant adrenaline rushes. They also tend to underestimate their coping and wildly running imaginative

abilities, which often results in mental and physical consequences. This is where the “fight or flight” response comes into play. Some common signs or symptoms of anxiety are: Sweating Nausea Palpitations Hot flushes Dizziness Choking Shaking Loss of control Anxiety attacks can be triggered from a single event such as an injury, illness, death, divorce or domestic violence. These triggers are tripped due to fear of change and uncertainty of one’s ability to handle a situation. The body goes into a form of shock, known as an anxiety or panic attack. Studies suggest that some anxiety disorders stem from buried childhood experiences, scars, and fears. For example, someone who grew up in a family where emotions were not freely expressed is more likely to be vulnerable to these types of attacks later on in life. The affects of drugs can pose a significant threat in regards to the onset of anxiety episodes. Any drug that suppresses the mind has the potential to trigger an attack if a sudden or stressful event occurs and the individual’s mind is unable to ‘function on autopilot.’ If you sense that someone may be susceptible to a panic attack, the most beneficial action for you to take is to gradually calm them down. Have them take several slow, controlled breaths. Try to encourage the individual to focus on something relaxing or envision a peaceful environment (such as a beach). It is best to do anything you can to promote a relaxing, non-stressful atmosphere for the victim during their stressful episode. Building Confidence Confidence is a foundational building block for the new and

improved you! Therefore, you must understand that confidence is strongly linked to control. Low levels of confidence indicate a lost connection within. You may have experienced a hardship in love, a relationship, or a job. All of these are common arrows to the heart of confidence. The problem with confidence is it takes time to build, but only a second to destroy. Take relationships, for example. If you’re in a controlling relationship (whether you’re male or female), you will find that everything boils down to control. If one party is harboring insecurities, they will do their best to make sure they are always in control, even if it means resorting to psychological manipulation. If a controlling partner cannot coerce you to be who they want you to be, they may resort to more drastic measures (which is where a lot of domestic abuse originates from). Seeing the repercussions of people’s actions when they fear they are losing control is eye opening. Some will go to great lengths just to gain a sense of control. Those who obsess about control become experts at it, and in little time, it becomes second nature to them. They learn to manipulate your weaknesses to feed their strengths. Power and control can be dangerous emotions if not harnessed correctly. Relying heavily on others is a guaranteed recipe for “Let-Me-Down-Soup.” One of the easiest ways to get hurt is to allow yourself to trust someone who consistently fails to keep their end of the bargain. You will lose your faith in them, which in turns creates a sense of negativity that you will associate with relationships. While you can’t be overly trusting, I want to point out that not trusting anyone is NOT the answer either. This will only fuel a negative projection of your next relationship without dealing with your inner conflicts. If you enter a new relationship with these strong, negative feelings, it will cause unnecessary tension. The key in resolving this kind of problem is to accept what has happened and understand that everyone experiences pain in their life. It’s a part of being human, but the challenge is deciding to

suffer or not to suffer. Reliving a negative past will only keep you focused on what happened. It will cloud your judgment, and limit your future perspective. If you struggle with thinking about building your own confidence levels, here are some helpful tips to get you started: 1. Try thinking of a role model that has/does inspire you (famous athlete, close friend, parent, sibling, or spouse – someone who has touched your life in a truly significant way). 2. Use their passion for success and life to motivate you (gain a sense of direction from how they inspired and influenced those around them).

3. Immerse yourself in new directions and new prospects. Create an everlasting desire to become someone you can be proud of. It may require all the strength you can muster up on a daily basis to make these changes, which is why it’s so very important to have the right mindset throughout this process. 4. Accept the past, and remember the good times. Use this renewed strength to push for new ventures; this will provide small stepping-stones for new creations in your life. As the saying goes, “Greatness is small things done well.” So, confidence and control play a huge part in everyone’s life. If you lack these, then rebuilding your core beliefs is your first major step in this process. You will need to reestablish your love and respect for yourself. Having self-respect will allow you to stand out amongst a crowd, and take the stand to control your life. This is essential because if you let someone else run your life, then pain and heartache will accompany you throughout your lifelong journey. So, have faith, my friend! You have tremendous self-worth, so start building yourself up. Utilize your strengths, and create a vision for yourself. Life coaching involves extensive planning for the future; however, I want you to understand that your upbringing plays a monumental factor in the actions and behaviors you exhibit today.

So, what is a phobia? A phobia is described as an irrational or powerful fear/dislike. They can be very destructive; from being scared of flying to the fear of heights, phobias all have the same negative effects on the mind that evokes instantaneous emotions which can cripple the body and cause extreme discomfort. Hypnotherapy is a highly beneficial tool for soothing, if not completely curing, phobias. It has proven successful for many people who struggle and feel they cannot stop smoking, lose weight, or be more confident. If you think hypnotherapy could be a possible remedy for you, please conduct adequate research, and find a local hypnotist that will be able to provide you with more information. So, what is a productive way to resolve or overcome a fear? Clearly, that answer lies within understanding your fear. Let’s use flying as an example. Say you have a fear of flying. The first thing to do is research this fear. So, you ask yourself: 1. What is it about flying that truly scares me? 2. Is it the thought of going on a plane? 3. The look of the plane? 4. The fear of what might happen to the plane? 5. The unknown feeling of when the plane takes off? 6. The fact I have never been on a plane before? Each of these factors need to be properly analyzed, so the specific fear itself can be identified. Use this first step to now examine your own fear. What is it specifically about your fear that worries you? Now, it’s time to use your imagination (everyone’s favorite, right?). You are going to forget about the negatives, and focus only on the experience. Okay, here we go (time to overcome our fears)! You are sitting in your nice comfy armchair, and you turn on the TV only to see yourself on the screen. Take in how you look (Use a real remote control to make the experience more realistic.).

Now, imagine yourself floating out of your body (which is still really in your comfy armchair). Can you see yourself in the chair and on the TV still? Great! Now, with your remote control, go ahead rewind yourself on TV. Start at the moment right before you experience the memory you want to overcome. Now, play the film through until right after the memory ends. You are still safe, without fear or incident. Make sure you imagine yourself throughout the entire film, with full confidence that your fear is powerless. You are assured that, in the end, nothing will happen to you, so there is no need to worry. Now, freeze the film, and float into the TV screen. Replay the film over and over, starting and ending where you are safe. Keep replaying it until you are comfortable with the memory and the experience. When you do finally come face-to-face with your fear in real life, use this method again beforehand (if possible) and during the situation to stay focused on your safe outcome. If you’re reading this and wondering how this could possibly work, hey, that’s completely okay. Fear is all in your mind, and because we control how we think and feel (which scientists have proven in multiple studies), we can create our own outcomes. This is why reliving your memory with a positive end result will allow you to focus on your guaranteed safety, so when you are actually confronted with your fear, you can recall this positive outcome as a focal point. The results of this method will astound you. You can also use this strategy for many other situations, issues, and worries that you may experience. Your brain and imagination can be fantastic tools. If your mind can create negative images so easily, then creating positive ones should come just as easy. It just takes time and practice. But, I have unwavering faith in you, and I know that, after reading this book, you will have the same faith in yourself as well. In summary, it is best to first understand your fear before attempting to tackle it. Discover as much as you can about the fear, and then, create a plan to overcome it. Imagine and relive your fearful situation with positive outcomes, so you can feel

comfortable when actually confronting it. But most importantly, have faith in your ability to overcome all your fears and obstacles.

***************** Minute Motivator Fear is often the unknown. There are many things in life you have overcome already, so continue taking a stand. You are strong, focused, and determined. So, the next time you encounter a personal fear, do not run and hide. Face it. Grab it by the horns. Take control.

***************** Understanding Change Ever heard, “Change is the spice of life?” In so many ways, that statement is so very true. Change in your life is inevitable. It’s bound to happen whether you want it to or not. Some change is good and some is bad, but as the old saying goes, “You have to take the good with the bad.” Imagine a world where everything remained stagnant, never changing. What would that be like? Everything would be predictable. There would be no inspiration. Nothing would be spontaneous. People would be like robots, performing the exact same tasks day in and day out. Our minds would cry out for stimulation and growth, never to be answered. The human mind needs to be massaged and provided with new, exciting challenges to keep us on our toes. Without change and stimulation, we might as well just throw the towel in, sit back, and watch the world pass us by. Without change, we would never be capable of truly challenging our minds or putting our best foot forward. What an uneventful, boring world that would be! When change does occur, it can affect us in so many ways. Even now when I experience change, I face fear. Unsure of how it will affect my life, debating whether or not I made the right decision, and juggling possible regrets are all part of tackling change (even for adults).

Quite frankly, when do we ever know 100% that the moment’s right? And the answer is, we don’t, but we have to have faith in our own ability to make the best of every situation. We can stack the deck in our favor because our minds control our actions (and thus the outcome), and we control our minds. We must accept that we need change, and let go of the old to make way for the new. The best cure for acceptance is time. Time allows change to settle into our lives. It’s like when you move into a new house or accept a new job. It’s all daunting and yet exciting at the same time, but then after a while, it becomes second nature. The fear fades away as you become more comfortable with the situation. I believe ‘comfortable’ is a key word in this process. It’s a word which implies that in order to accept change, you must first understand it. The next step is to accept your fear, and take steps to eliminate it. Lastly, find comfort in your fear, completely eradicating the actual fear and worry itself. So, fearlessly, we tackle Exercise 8:

***************** Exercise 8 When faced with change, it is often useful to ask yourself these four questions to aid in maintaining your focus (Feel free to jot your answers down in your journal): 1. What is it that I am seeking from this change? 2. What do I see as the possible outcome(s)? 3. Will I gain or lose from this change? 4. Will anyone get hurt in this process? These questions are designed to get you to stop and think about your actions. If you are starting to fear the outcome of a situation and you go into a panic, how will that affect the people around you? What if you grow angry and become frustrated with people because you are uncomfortable with this new change?

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These are all helpful questions to keep in mind after you freeze frame the situation, look at it from a better angle, make a wise decision, and initiate the end result you desire. And, that concludes Step One (Can you believe it?). Emotional strength will be mentioned again in Step Two, as you will need to reevaluate yours when revising your core beliefs (if it is interfering with your progress). I hope at this point you understand that confidence and control are the two main players (or triggers) involved in altering your emotions. Without these two, you will attract more negatives than positives, creating false beliefs and limitations. This would not be advantageous because we do not want more barriers blocking our path, making it difficult to clear again. End of Step One Summary To conclude this first step regarding emotional strength, I am going to present a short recap for you (just the main points so you can confirm that you are on the right track). 1. Emotional strength is the main key to making a successful change in your life. 2. Take some decisive steps towards setting goals in life that you desire to achieve. 3. Understand that body language has a huge impact on your physical state and can be seen (and interpreted) by the people you interact with. 4. Identify your fears. Understand your fears inside and out. Replay films (in your mind), where you overcome a specific fear over and over again. Gain a clear and positive mindset. 5. Understand your emotions, so you can begin building confidence. Courage and focus on the desired change are both great attributes. 6. Change is inevitable, and it will happen. Sometimes, it’s forced

upon us, and sometimes, it’s our own choice. However, either way, having strong, emotional strength will allow you to create a solid purpose and meaning behind your change (adapting accordingly to the circumstances). Section 2 is titled, Aligning Your Blue Print. In this section, I will explain how your values and inner conflicts affect your actions today

Chapter 2 - STEP 2- Align Your Blue Print

So, what is a belief? It is a feeling of absolute certainty of what something means to you. Beliefs can change, and sometimes, childhood beliefs must be completely eradicated (if they are blocking you from achieving progress in your current situation). It is very true that often happy people become happier, and sad people attract more sadness. This is because their mentality determines their outcomes. Let me ask you, does your blue print match your current situation? Meaning: Do who you are as a person and what you believe in truly represent the lifestyle you have at the moment?

Belief  Does  it  limit  you?  

Shifting  your  focus    

Create  a  new  belief  

What stops us from having the life we want? It’s a good question, right? Let’s take a deeper look into who you have been brought up to be, your life experiences, and your current beliefs. This is important in determining whether or not you have inner conflicts with your emotional strength. Your body map consists of who you think you should be: your deepest desires, your expectations of life, and your state of happiness. If you’re reading this already knowing that you’re unhappy, then this part of the book will unlock some enlightening answers for you. You can change your situation, your appearance, your career, and even your relationships, but until you truly identify your deepest desires, you won’t be happy (especially if your current desires include trying to make someone else happy). Many people find themselves in relationships where their partner wants them to change because they are not happy with who they are. There is an unhealthy abundance of expectation in the relationship. Unless two people accept each other for what they are, there will always be conflict. No matter the circumstances, you must realize that you should only change if it’s for you. Never change for someone else. First, let’s figure out what your body map looks like. Hopefully, the previous sections have helped with this (or at least made it clearer), showing you what it is that you truly want and desire in life. Completely forget about everyone else around you for the moment. Close your eyes, if necessary, and sincerely think about what it is in life that you want (whether it’s a family, a good career, love, good health, fitness, or success). Now ask yourself, “Does my current life situation match my body map?” If your answer is “no,” then you need to make some changes. If your answer is “yes,” then great! I’m really happy for you, and now you can set your sights on getting more fulfillment out of life.

So, if your body map doesn’t match your life situation, why doesn’t it? That’s the real question, right? What has happened (or not happened) for this to occur? It’s interesting to know that unhappy people rarely blame themselves for what happens to them. They are more apt to blame others for their situation, giving themselves a false sense of control for a short while. However, this is not a cure. They often become confused and desperate to get out of a situation, and then they turn to self-abuse methods such as alcoholism, drug addiction, depression, or even self-deprivation. When a person is in this tragic state, their mind creates a new reality, and all feelings of hope begin to fade away because they have lost control of their life. Even if this has never happened to you, you may have seen it happen to people you know, love, or care about. My goal is to help you understand the despair that you or someone else may be living with on a daily basis. But, the good news is that every problem has a solution! The key is to either change your body map/blue print, or adjust your current situation so that it does match your body map. It’s as easy as that! Depression The mind is such a powerful tool. However, it can be friend or foe, depending on the situation. If you regularly experience sadness, guilt, depression, anger, frustration and resentment, instead of joy, happiness, love, and excitement, then you need to discover the root of all of your pain. What has happened in your life that causes you to feel this way? Again, the great news is where there is a problem, there is always a solution. This may specifically relate to you or you may know someone who it affects. Do you know someone who is very successful and has everything they could ever possibly want, but they still appear depressed all the time?

It is imperative to determine which parts of your depression are within your control. Think about why the feeling is so powerful and difficult for you to break away from. You must find other things in your life that are more important and more valuable to you than this feeling. Once you do this, you can adjust your thinking, and refocus on these new, intriguing entities in your life. A common pattern of poor body language, unhealthy mental state, and repressed communication skills often exists in depressed individuals. You will often notice that someone who is sad or depressed will show signs of a negative body state; they will lower their head, slouch their shoulders, and change the way they talk. It’s truly an addictive state that engulfs your thinking and your entire life. People can very easily and quickly switch gears from sad and depressed to angry and frustrated, which again will be evident through different body language. You may also notice that people use their depressed feelings to satisfy their emotional cravings, which often results from their original insecurities. This creates a trigger effect, so when they think about certain past situations in their life, it triggers instant sadness. When an individual gets caught in this vicious cycle for a few years, it becomes second nature to them. Their mind then recreates an alternate reality within itself, so they go round and round in a never ending circle. Now the idea is to break this pattern or circle by concentrating on a positive emotion, such as pure excitement or happiness. Think back to a time where you experienced joy. Live in that moment again. Close your eyes, and see what comes into your mind. Now, focus on how you felt. Think about exactly where you were, and recreate the positive intensity within yourself. Realize that depression is usually related to past events, so choose to remember the happy parts of your past. If you can’t put the past behind you, then relive the good rather than the bad. That can’t hurt, right? Even in the past, you can still focus on the positive.

So, what element would you say you focus on the most? The past, present or future? I ask because each one has a very different impact. The past is often where depression, regret, and sadness lives. It is here where you relive previous experiences, and dwell on them. They consume your thoughts, and you spend precious time wishing that you could change the past. So, what if you are constantly focused on the present? Well, this is, indeed, better than the past but still has its drawbacks. You are probably the kind of person that is well equipped to deal with situations and problems in everyday life. You live one day at a time, not wanting to think about the future. Lastly, do you focus purely on the future? If so, you are most likely a great anticipator because you have dreams, visions, and desires which keep you focused. You have designated a path to your success and have a plan to get there. You use the present to fulfill your needs. Which one of the three do you think is the best category to be in? Well, it’s clearly not the past. The past won’t solve your problems. Reliving your fears and experiences will only bring you down. And, the present will give you fulfillment, but you will be limited in your desires. You need to set your sights higher, have a clear vision, and strive to achieve your deepest needs and desires. So, start focusing on the future today! If you know someone who is depressed and needs help, approach them, and try to help them establish the root of their unhappiness. Depression and sadness almost always relates to insecurities and past experiences that one had no control over. Unfortunately, these feelings of helplessness often manifest into negative thoughts and emotions. We all have the power to help others heal, and it’s truly a great feeling of accomplishment when you’re a part of that process. Essentially, you need to take a real long good look at your current situation, your home life, your relationships, your career, your health, and your financial situation. You need to closely evaluate each one to find the triggering cause for your unhappiness. Once

you identify the trigger, you must determine what about that area of your life makes you unhappy. Is it the people, the environment, or the circumstances surrounding that situation that cause you such discontentment? Whatever the cause, you need to fully understand the root of your unhappiness in order to work through it. The key to understanding others is actually knowing yourself inside and out. Trust me on this one. Once you know your triggers, you can use them to your advantage. People can be very different, but they can also be very similar. Knowing yourself will help you to plan your success, focus on your goals, and muster up the determination to see things through. SIMPLE. Emotions are very tricky to handle. From previous experiences to internal beliefs, the way you interpret situations directly affects how you feel and how you deal with problems. Having a healthy mindset gives you the best chance to take positive steps along your road to success. However, in order to achieve this, you must recognize your strengths, and be aware of your weaknesses. It would be foolish to ignore your weaknesses, as you would then not know them when you saw them. It’s crucial to be honest and realistic with yourself. Its’ interesting to find that most people have never been properly taught how to handle their emotions. Therefore, it’s so easy to feel as if you’re losing control of your life - hence why people fall into a depressed state and become frustrated. They go through a spiral of uncontrollable emotions including sadness, anger, pain, and aggression. All of these are a direct result of losing focus, as well as losing control of your thoughts. So, ask yourself these questions (to see how well you know yourself): 1. How well do you know yourself? 2. Do you know what makes you tick? 3. What angers you? 4. What makes you happy? 5. Do you know how to resist temptation? 6. Do you know how to pick yourself up when you get emotionally knocked down? 7. Are you pessimistic?

8. Do you generalize every situation? So, how’d you do? Are you truly in touch with your own thoughts and feelings? Now, let’s look at some examples. Someone who generalizes every situation would normally say something like, “Someone down the street was burglarized the other night, so now no one is safe anymore,” or, “Things always go wrong for me.” Is this you? Having these thoughts means you need some convincing when making assumptions about life and what goes on around you. The downside to this way of thinking is that it’s often extremely negative. And, we don’t want to attract more negativity, do we? So, in order to break this cycle, you need to revaluate your views of the world, and focus on more positive outcomes. It’s easy. Just open your mind to other positive possibilities. Are you someone who has a black and white approach to the world (where there’s no gray area)? Do you feel that life will either work out or it won’t? People with this line of thinking are usually defensive and are not open to compromise. They can, at times, forcefully impose their own beliefs on other people. A good way to combat this way of thinking is to freeze frame situations, opening yourself up to the possibility that other avenues to explore may exist. In order to have a natural and healthy love for yourself, you need to realize that the past is in the past (and that’s where it stays). It may define who you are today, but it doesn’t have to decide who you will be in the future. You can’t turn back the hands of time (though that would be an awesome experience). You must realize that we live and learn for a reason. It’s merely one of life’s crazy little tests to see just how much you can juggle. Keeping Anger at Bay Are you an “Angry Amy (Yes, she is “Negative Nancy’s sister)?” The main issue angry people have is that they believe they are mind readers and assume that everything is directed at them. They take everything personally.

When anger strikes, it can be both physical and mental. Anger is a form of build-up resentment towards others. Many angry people make the assumption that people are ‘out to get them.’ They feel that in order to regain control, they have to be hurtful, manipulative, and selfish. Anger is instantaneous and sends quick adrenaline rushes throughout your body unexpectedly. When people are angry they often force the same conversations to be had over and over again, until they feel they have proven their point. This kind of behavior relates directly to an element of situational control (or lack of thereof). Anger sits at the opposite end of the spectrum from sadness. This emotional spectrum affects the body in many different ways. Anger usually causes the body to tense and seize up. An angry individual’s blood pressure may shoot through the roof, lending a hand to vision impairment as well (red mist syndrome). Anger takes an extreme toll on the body, both mentally and physically. Other symptoms of anger include: Red Mist syndrome Tight muscles Change in body language (a more aggressive stance) Headaches Take a moment to think about what other symptoms you exhibit when you get angry. Can you add to this list? Go ahead and jot down your ‘anger symptoms’ in your journal. It is a good idea to identify what might trigger your anger or others’ anger. So, ask yourself the following (you can add these answers to your journal entry as well): 1. When do I get angry? 2. Do I get angry when I make a mistake? 3. Do I get angry when no one listens to me? 4. Do I get angry at certain people? If so why? Some great tips for “nipping the angry monster in the rear” are:

1. Completely remove yourself from the situation. Walking away will prompt you to calm down. 2. Imagine, in your mind, what could happen (including consequences) if you carried out your angry actions and threats. This should be done in any hostile situation. 3. Take some slow, deep breaths to relax and settle down. This will begin to soothe and calm your body, but it will not work immediately. Continue this process for a few minutes. 4. Consider the possible outcomes and whether they’re beneficial to you or not. Will you end up being even more upset if this situation does not go your way? Will you lose self-respect or the respect of others? 5. Be prepared with a focus trigger. Have something peaceful and calming (a good memory or thought) handy in your mind, and when you feel the early stages of your anger building, use this trigger to refocus yourself in a positive manner. Ultimately, the best way to deal with anger is to resolve the tension lurking within you. Usually there is built up resentment and anguish causing you to want to move into the ‘angry zone.’ Try to talk and communicate your feeling with others whom you trust. Share your problems, and search for a feasible solution that will yield a positive outcome rather than a fit of rage. Most of the anger we harbor is just a smoke-screen, hiding past experiences that elicit negative emotions when certain triggers are set off. If you grew up around people, who you deemed as role models, that displayed anger as one of their primary emotions, it is only natural that these reactions would be passed on to you. If this is not the case, perhaps the anger actually belongs to someone else, and they are emitting their frustrations onto you. For example, an unhappy partner who exhibits anger regularly can make you feel confused and frustrated. When you are unable to understand what is going on, this causes frustration to build within you, and you will eventually release or vent this anger back towards them or towards others.

So, in this type of situation, it would be best to resolve the anger issues with the person who is passing these addictive emotions on to you. However, this may not always be immediately possible. Please note that sometimes forgiveness is not necessarily always the answer. If the person is not ready to forgive and forget just yet, the best thing to do is direct the energy and power of their anger towards a positive outcome. Maybe focus on and aim your partner’s angry energy towards progress in a career, hobby, or relationship. Pull the good out of the bad. The important thing to remember is that every human being is driven to do what they feel is best for themselves at that particular moment, given the information known. Humans prioritize their values and beliefs, and upon making a decision, they sometimes cause pain to others around them because their decision directly conflicts with someone else’s priorities. I think the best example for this is relationships. When two people have different values and needs in life, they slowly begin to drift apart. This results in one of them struggling to make the relationship work (because family is most important to them), while the other party is more focused on their own career and professional progression. Instant friction and frustration ignites, and when we do not have control, we are suddenly thrown into an emotional cycle of sadness, depression, frustration, and anger. This cycle can have a significant impact on children as well. The best way to combat these types of situations is to not only understand your own values and needs but also those of your partner. You must truly decide together, through open and honest communication, what you both want to achieve together. You will find sharing together will lead to the creation of new, joint beliefs and needs. Then, you both will be on the same path, feel connected, and remain anger free (at least most of the time). Anger really can be replaced with happiness. Values and beliefs What are your values? Have you ever really thought about them?

What is important to you right now? How do you value your life, your family, your friends, your career, your wealth, your opinions, and your beliefs? How is your relationship or marriage? Is family important to you, or are you more career driven? Your values and beliefs guide your thinking for the future. Have you ever had a gut feeling that something was wrong? Well, those kinds of feelings are linked to your subconscious. They’re often telling you to slow down, and think about all the options you have available before making any rash decisions. So, what do you do? Should you ignore your gut? What if it turns out to be a bad decision? You could be left wishing you had gone with your gut. In most cases, your gut doesn’t steer you wrong. How you were brought up is also very crucial in understanding your value system. How were you raised? Did you take on any of your parent’s beliefs or views? Did you grow up as an only child, or did you have a large family? Did your mom or dad raise you raise you as a single parent? All these things factor into understanding who you really are and what you believe. For example, if you were raised in poverty, providing for your family may be a top priority for you. On the flip side, you may have grown up in the lap of luxury, which may have made you less appreciative of the good things in life, taking everything and everyone for granted. I want you to also think about the habits you may have picked up while growing up. Are there any that have affected your life in a negative way? If so, how can you shift that focus and change your habits? This book will encourage you to concentrate on your strengths; however, you do need to also be aware of your weaknesses. At some point in time, you will realize that many weaknesses can simply be erased from your life as you gain emotional strength. I like to think of it as a “game of inches.” Each positive thing that happens to you (or that you do) equals a gained inch. As you start collecting inches, they collectively become something even greater. As the months pass by, you will start to notice the physical changes that are taking place. Why? Because you are changing

the course of your life! It’s almost like a boat trip. If you change the coordinates of your destination, you will begin to head in a different (positive) direction. So, what’s holding you back? Have you ever said or heard others make comments like: I Can’t. I’m no good at that. I get easily distracted. I won’t try that. Why can’t I do that? It’s because you have created a sense of self-doubt that hinders your actions and thoughts of success. So, what can you do to instantly eradicate these negative beliefs and replace them with better values? Well again, you have to analyze each belief separately. What is it that makes you feel like you can’t do that particular thing? Have you actually tried to do it and failed? Did you put enough time and effort into learning about it? Sometimes, it’s just not that important to you, and some things in life won’t be (and that’s okay). However, life is about working around the obstacles in your way, realizing why they were placed in your life, and learning how to shift them in your favor. Imagine accepting a new belief. Imagine the results that could be possible if you put time and effort into your endeavor. For example, maybe you’ve always said, “I can’t do math!” First, identify why you can’t complete the task. Is it a lack of understanding? If so, then you have your first step. You need to LEARN math. You can adopt a learning method that suits you to improve your understanding, focus your efforts, and achieve success. Problem solved. You will notice, as I have mentioned before, that you’re on an exciting road to building your solid foundation. If you have spent the last few months allowing negativity into your life, it will take some time and effort to now shift your focus to the positives. However, with some effort, you will quickly train your mind to think more positively and clearly.

Your feelings and thoughts play a major role in this equation. Whether you feel anxious, stressed, angry, or sad, all these feelings will affect your actions and how you handle the situations you are in. Your thoughts often translate into actions. If an event occurs that brings you happiness, you will have an instant surge of confidence, and luckily, positive vibes bounce off other people. So, your friends and family will naturally take on your positive or negative energies. Try visualizing these positive feelings, and experiment with how it makes you feel. Now, think of a time when you were sad, and recall the feelings you had. Then, switch back to thinking about a time that made you happy, excited, and confident again. Do you feel the difference? Feelings translate into actions, and you can control your feelings with your thoughts. So, now you can turn your negative feelings and outcomes into positive ones. Your mind is like a filter, taking in the information it needs and disregarding the information it doesn’t need. It’s a lot like summarizing events. You pick the out the good bits to hold onto, while flushing out the unnecessary pieces. Because your brain is constantly sorting through so many memories, feelings, and thoughts, sometimes you will not remember all the little details, good and bad. This leads me to the topic of “freeze framing” a situation and looking at it from different perspectives. Let’s now think of a positive memory, something that made you happy. Take that image or situation, and freeze it inside your head. Got it? Now, think about what made it a good memory. What was your mental state at that time? Were you happy or sad? I’d bet money on the fact that you were happy. Am I right? You put yourself into that positive state, and you encouraged positive outcomes. I want you to realize that this positive, happy state was 100% in your control. You put yourself in that specific mood, and you allowed things to make you happy. On the flip side, have you noticed that if you are unhappy, nothing else seems to have the power to change your negative thoughts, mood, or emotions? This is because you created your negative mood, not anyone else. So, only YOU can change it!

I hope you are starting to understand that before progress can take place you must discover and fully understand who you truly are, how you were raised, and what values and beliefs you hold dear. Your experiences all reflect your current day to day living. So, if you’re not happy with your current situation, it’s clear that you have a conflicting belief system that doesn’t align with your current lifestyle. But, the good news is, you, and ONLY YOU, have the power to make a change, and choose happiness! Should vs. Must Each time an event occurs, we create an emotional link from that event to either pleasure or pain. If you accidently burn yourself, nerve receptors send a message of instant pain to the brain telling you, “Ouch! Don’t do that!” It’s the same with the chocoholics, people who associate eating chocolate with pleasure (Yes, I admit – I am one of them, and proud of it). With every event, we make associations. It’s the same when deciding whether something in our life is a ‘must’ or a ‘should.’ And, yes, there is definitely a difference. Here are some ‘should’ statements: “I should go to the gym.” “I should clean the house.” “I should get a job.” ”I should go on a diet.” All of these ‘should’ statements are said without conviction. It’s basically like saying, “Yeah, I would love to do that, but I have better things to do.” The chances are you will never get round to doing the ‘should’ stuff because you will always find other things more important to do and get side tracked. Now, compare them to the ‘must’ statements: “I must become dedicated to my work.” “I must ensure that my family has what they need.” “I must create my own success story.” “I must go to the gym at least three times a week.”

I ‘must’ has more punch to it, don’t you agree? If you were hanging off the edge of a cliff (holding on for dear life) would you rather your friend say, “Hey, we should save him/her” or “Hey, we MUST save him/her!” I don’t know about you, but I would go with the ‘must.’ In your next conversation, throw a few ‘must’ statements into the mix, and gauge the response you receive from others around you. You will find people respond positively to this line of thinking, and they will be saying to themselves, “Wow, he actually means what he says.” So, identify and define what it is you want in life. Make your goals into ‘must’ statements, and put them into action. This is the very reason why right from the start of this book, I have encouraged you to start thinking about what it is you want out of life. Keep these goals fresh in your mind on a daily basis. Your aim is to create a definitive list of actions that become ‘must’ statements for you (rather than ‘should’ statements). Now, we ‘must’ hop right into Exercise 9:

***************** Exercise 9 Now, after talking extensively about core values and beliefs, I want you to try this. In your journal, write down all of your core values (things you truly believe in). What is important to you? Following that, I want you to write down words that you associate with these values (see examples below): Energy – Children and being active Power – Confidence and significance Teamwork – Progress at work and better relationships Achievement – Success and recognition The purpose of this exercise is for you to not only discover what’s important to you, but it’s also helpful to see what you associate with these values.

I will talk more about “should vs. must” in a bit, when we discuss rituals and standards.

***************** Minute Motivator Do not let time get the better of you. Seize the moment, and enjoy life with every chance you get. Always aim to improve your situation. Make tiny changes every day, and earn your own self-respect. Write your own success story. Show the people around you that you have the heart, conviction, and sheer determination to break down any emotional door, and smash your way through to success. Make yourself better, my friend. I believe in you!

***************** End of Step Two Summary The main point I wanted to make in Step 2 is that once you understand the concepts of how important emotional strength works, it’s time to truly discover the roots of who you really are inside. So, here’s a quick review of Step 2 (Don’t you just love when things rhyme?): 1. A belief is having absolute certainty in something that guides you along your chosen path. 2. Understand your upbringing, and use the exercises available to identify your beliefs and values. It is possible to change your belief system, creating new beliefs that align with your blue print (and do not cause any internal conflicts). 3. Depression can be linked to past, internal issues that have not been fully resolved that can lead to anger. Therefore, it’s even more important to identify your values, change beliefs that aren’t in alignment with your life, and seek happiness. 4. Define what it is you want in life. Understand the difference between a ‘must’ and a ‘should’ statement, and create a new set of new standards for yourself. If life is not working for you, then

change the game. Move the goal posts until you can score a touchdown. Chapter 3 - Step 3- PROGRESS = HAPPINESS 28-Day Guide

As you have probably guessed already, I am a big believer in two things: (1) Making progress in life that results in happiness, and (2) doing the right thing at the wrong time can cause significant pain. If you plant flowers just before winter hits, what do you think is going to happen? Not the best results you could hope for, I can assure you. So, knowing when to make the right decision at the right time is key. Having the right frame of mind and your body map (or blue print) aligned with who you are is a recipe for success. These are both steps in the right direction which will help you in formulating educated guesses, making good decisions, and getting fabulous results. If and when the result is not what you wanted, you simply pick yourself up, and try again and again and again, until you get the desired result. It is okay to wish for a new life, but progress is the mechanism which will get you there. Progress is such a fun concept. It’s ever-

Goal  

Find  your  purpose  

Create  a  vision  Progress  

Happiness  

changing, never stagnant, and will always produce results (whether good or bad). You decide the outcome, and you must realize things change constantly. It’s almost automatic. Our bodies change. The environment changes. Your friends change. And, all this happens whether you move a muscle or not. So, you have to take control of your life, and ensure that when change happens, it’s in a positive manner and in your favor. Taking tiny steps will eventually make a huge, ever-lasting impact on your life, while also affecting the people around you. Now you have the fun and inspiring challenge of keeping yourself motivated and focused on what you want to accomplish. Keep your eye on the prize! For example, let’s take a look at ‘New Year’s resolutions.’ Why do people have to wait until the 1st of January to start a new change or challenge? Every month can be a new month for change. Don’t wait until the end of the year to achieve your goals and dreams. The calendar seems to serve as a concrete guide for many people. You will hear people say, “Ahh, I will start the diet in January,” or “I will get these next few months out of the way, and I’ll start fresh then.” People who plan to achieve things in the distant future have less chance of following through. Do you know why? It’s simple. Procrastination allows you time to come up with various reasons to put things off, and soon, it just becomes wishful thinking. Think back to people you know who have talked about their ‘New Year’s resolutions’ and made promises to themselves like: “I’m going to quit smoking!” “I’m going to lose weight, and join a gym!” “I’m going to run a marathon!” The problem with these statements is that they all consist of what you are going to do and have no true meaning, timeline, or inspiration behind them. Look at the difference:

“I’m going to join the gym today, and be healthy!” “I’m going to start enjoying life and the people around me, so I will quit smoking now, and be happy!” You need to have positive visions, and more importantly, you should have positive reasons for wanting these changes. You need to create something meaningful to you. Make it compelling and attractive, so you’ll want to immerse yourself in the process of reaching it. Make it a change that you must do rather than just one you should do (must vs. should – see how I snuck it in there again?). Look back at those people you knew that came to mind when we were talking about ‘New Year’s resolutions.’ Have they achieved their goals? If they have, that’s fantastic! It may help you to ask them about their journey, what motivated them, how difficult the changes they made were, and how they stayed dedicated and determined to see their goal through. If those people didn’t quite achieve their goals or resolutions (and ended up calling it quits at the gym after 2 months), it may help you to take a look at why. What made them give up? Why did they throw in towel? You can learn from others mistakes. You will often find that people who do not reach their goals come up with a whole laundry list of negative excuses like: “I didn’t have enough time.” “Something else got in the way.” “I have a very stressful job.” “I’m not happy in my relationship.” “Nobody would help me.” “I had to do it all by myself, and I just got worn out.” “I don’t feel loved like I used to.”

No matter what the reason, every excuse serves as an inner barrier or obstacle that they have created to reassure themselves that they did not really fail. People make excuses because they didn’t go out and make a difference in their own life, and they don’t want to shoulder the blame. It’s always easier to pass the side dish of blame around the table. However, if you are serious about creating a fulfilling life for yourself, you must wrestle with these inner conflicts.

You need to raise your standards and your beliefs! You need to make these everlasting changes a ‘must’ rather than a ‘should’. Find the reason, and create the hunger behind it. You need to immerse yourself in the change, breathing it in every day. Look at your body! Go ahead. Right now, look at your body. This defines who you are. If you are muscular and athletic, then you have already created your world and an environment that revolves around good health and fitness. You must go to the gym. You found a burning desire within yourself, and you feel great every time you leave the gym or finish exercising. If you’re over weight, then again, this mirrors your standards. You value food and comfort more than anything else, and this figures into your blue print. In order to change, you need to have strong reasons and a real vision. Now, this is only an example. Some people who are overweight are more than happy with themselves. This is because they understand who they are and are confident in themselves, and that’s great! It’s up to you to decide what makes you happy (and if you’re not happy - why not?). You need rituals and standards! I’ve said it already, but I really want to drum this in because it is so important for progress. Look at what you do every day, your daily routine. What are your rituals? Grab your journal, and write them down! You will find after reading this book, you will be programed to write more than you have ever done before. I cannot stress this enough - who you are today is a direct result of your childhood, your upbringing, your experiences, your relationships, and your financial background. Despite what your circumstances were, you are now in a position to look back, review, and analyze your beliefs, and assess if they match your current lifestyle. Discover why you are who you are and why you do what you do. This is especially important if you know you are not happy and that something inside of you is holding you back. Find the issue, and resolve it. This will put you on your way to making good progress. Merely having great focus is still not enough to establish ever-lasting change; you will need the tools as well. The right mentor,

the right environment, and the right mindset are all still key factors in your equation for success. If you desire to be healthy but eat pizza every day, you’re not going to end up with the desired results. You may be focused, but it is on the wrong thing. ALIGN YOURSELF with the right path. If you want to be healthy, then gather the right tools (i.e. a diet plan, a trainer, an exercise routine, etc.). Use professionals around you. Go to the local gym and ask for help. Make sure you have clear, established goals in mind, and research how you are going to achieve them. Immerse yourself completely in your journey, and you will begin to truly feel your results (rather than just imagining about them). So, what small, simple things can you do to maintain a strong, peak mental state? The very best thing is to have some alone time each day. A moment to yourself without noise, confusion, or pressures from the outside world. It’s a fantastic way to recharge your battery in a short period of time. So, here are some ‘recharging’ suggestions: 1. Join a gym - This is a great way to unwind and release tension. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins, which will relax you, keep you alert, and put you in a good frame of mind. You’re sure to be ready for whatever comes next! 2. Road running - If the gym is too expensive but you enjoy exercising, just go for a run and listen to some music. This is more than sufficient personal, thinking time. 3. Beauty treatments – Yes, guys, I am talking to you as well. You do not have to paint your nails pink, but having a 30-minute neck and shoulder massage is the perfect way to unwind after a hard day in the office or at home. 4. Coffee break - What better way to relax than to take a nice little coffee break? Just visualize sitting down, closing your eyes for a few seconds, and taking a deep breath, while soaking in the peaceful moment. Sounds relaxing, doesn’t it? 5. Sleep your way to success - How much sleep are you getting at the moment? Could you squeeze in more? Even an extra 30

minutes to an hour per day will pay huge dividends in the long run. After a few weeks, you will feel revitalized, and ready to go! 6. Introduce a healthy diet - When change hits home, sometimes people eat because they are anxious and psychologically find comfort in the food they eat. The problem with this behavior is, after a few months, the pounds begin to pack on, and it negatively affects your health. Keep a healthy balanced diet. Try to eat fresh fruit, vegetables, and good carbs. You will soon find that your diet keeps you in great shape and gives you a proactive mind. NO CHOCOLATE or junk food stashing. Save the good sweets for treats! 1. Pay for life coaching sessions - Having open, arranged

sessions can give you the opportunity to blow off some steam, and talk to a professional about any burning issues in your life. A problem solved is a problem shared.

2. Keep a diary/journal - Writing can be therapeutic. Just by

spending five minutes a day openly writing about how you feel (or noting challenges), you can create a greater sense of vision, and keep a steady focus on the future.

3. Expand your creative side - Start a new hobby, or pick up where

you left off on your last one. Doing this will keep your mind sharp, keep you focused, and provide some fun.

Small incentives will keep you focused and on track. You will soon apply these to your daily life without thinking, and it will become second nature. Boosting Self-esteem Now, let’s talk about self-esteem. There are many things you can do to not only understand the concept of self-esteem but to also build it back up or revive it (if yours has been stomped on). People with low self-esteem often show signs of shame and fear. They create core beliefs that make them feel comfortable about themselves. However, when their core beliefs conflict (or break down), they often feel let down, ashamed,

or hurt. The main cause of all this is creating standards that are unrealistic and unachievable, which quickly leads to failure. In order to improve your self-esteem, it is best to make sure you have three fundamental beliefs at the core of your thinking process. They are growth, freedom, and personal development. Any belief that conflicts with these three fundamentals can cause trouble in paradise. An example of this would be living by the belief that, “I should always put others first.” You might then create the rule, “I must avoid saying ‘no’ to people.” These beliefs or assumptions can be limiting, harmful to self-esteem development, and inherited from your childhood. Let’s take a look at Exercise 10:

***************** Exercise 10 Think about your values and the assumptions you make about life. Then apply the rules you have associated with them. Are your rules limiting? Are they inherited? Do they work with your beliefs, or are you on the road to failure? Grab your journal, and write out, in a simple list, your values. Then, next to each one, write the rules you associate with it as well.

***************** People with low self-esteem have been programmed, since childhood, through negative messages which have been permanently imprinted on their minds. If your parents repeatedly told you, “You can’t do that,” or “You’re useless,” you would begin to believe it at some point. It is these negative words that create an unhealthy lack of self-worth in individuals. Children need warmth, affection, and certainty. If these core needs are not met, their future can be affected in many ways. On the flip side, when parents expect too much from their children, it can lead to a lingering sense of failure because the tasks presented are unachievable or the bar is set too high. When these unrealistic

standards are not met, the child is left feeling worthless and unfulfilled. Even worse than this is being a victim of abuse, whether physically or mentally. When something bad happens, an abuse victim’s immediate thought is, “I am being punished for this.” Trauma leaves a heavy burden of feeling powerless and unable to deal with life’s obstacles effectively. Aside from childhood, there are also the effects of peer pressure from the people you associate with. In many instances, when their expectations are not met, you may be made to feel ashamed or worthless. A lot of people with poor self-esteem sit on their dreams and goals for years due to a constant, negative thought process, which tells them they are not good enough to make their dreams a reality. They truly believe their dreams will never come true or work, so they ask themselves, “What’s really the point in trying?” These feelings can attribute to constant anger directed at life or at other people.

***************** Minute Motivator A friend who puts you down is not a friend at all. Surround yourself with people who bring the best out in you. You will definitely see the change in your energy levels and attitude immediately when you are around positive influences. They will also help you develop your interpersonal skills which will make you a more versatile individual.

***************** So, what can you do to repair or rebuild your self-respect or self-esteem? Many people who do not respect themselves often let their appearances go, not keeping up with personal hygiene or basic cleanliness. Therefore, the first step is always to begin with yourself. 1. Start a new diet, and join a gym to begin building a new you.

2. Adopt the philosophy that small rewards should be obtained after achieving success in tiny steps. Reward yourself when you achieve something, whether big or small. This will give you some self-pride and satisfaction, allowing you to focus on promoting self-development. 3. Improve your communication skills. Giving yourself the time and strength to convey your feelings to the people close to you will allow for self-reflection. Give people the opportunity to help you if you’re struggling. Be more assertive during conversations. Say you will do something instead of saying that you might. 4. Change your body language. Making eye contact is a positive sign of confidence. Walk with your head held high. 5. Go ahead, and welcome mistakes. This will allow some room for criticism, and reinforce the reality that no one is perfect. Sometimes, you can only do your best and nothing more. Beating yourself up over a mistake is not healthy or worthwhile. 6. Make mini, achievable goals. This will give you satisfaction, and reinforce the reality that progress is being made. You can then celebrate your successes, and learn to appreciate yourself more. 7. In an effort to boost your confidence and self-esteem, create a list of skills and past achievements in your journal, so you can revisit these when you need a little ‘pick-me-up.’ These reminders will reaffirm the belief that you are a great achiever. 8. Learn to accept that sometimes things won’t go your way. Unfortunately, things will go wrong, and you will feel pain. This is a part of life, but you cannot let it bring you down or cause you to suffer. Accept the situation, and find a way to learn and grow from it. Attracting Positive Energy Wow! Positive energy, even the word itself sound motivating, doesn’t it?

Do you believe it’s possible for things to happen in your life that you attract or bring on? I personally believe that this definitely happens and can totally work for you. The best example I can give (which I know most people can relate to) is think of a time when you were running extremely late for something, maybe work. You rushed to your car, and while driving, you notice that you are hitting every single red light on the planet. This makes you even more frustrated, and on top of that, the car in front of you literally could not drive any slower. Your temper flares, and you end up shouting like a madman in your car at everything that gets in your way. Sound familiar? Well, it all has to do with what you’re focus on. Had you not been in a hurry or a frustrated state, your mind would not have processed each red light as a painful dilemma, and the car in front of you would not have been such a nuisance. It all has to do with your perception. Most likely after this kind of morning, it would be followed with a lousy day. So, one bad feeling has the potential to ruin your entire day (all because you were running late). That is the law of attraction in action. You focus on one bad thing that happened and allow it to affect your whole day. Thus, a ripple effect takes place. On the flip side, I am sure you can think of days where you have woken up, the sun is shining, and you feel like you’re on top of the world. You leave your house on time and are in a great mood. Other drivers do not bother you. In fact, you barely even notice them. You even decide to be generous, allowing others to go ahead of you. Every red light you stop at is no hassle. You just enjoy what is going on in the world outside, listen to your music, and get to work in a timely fashion. Thus, a great beginning equates to a great day. Does that sound familiar to you as well? Again, all of this is mental. What you focus on, you attract. Where focus goes energy will flow. Remember that? Can you see where I am going with all of these examples? My intention is for you to see that if you start with your internal roots, rewire your conflicts, create a purpose, find meaning in life, and make positive steps towards change, you will be successful.

Immerse yourself in the ‘new you.’ With dedication, motivation, and focus, you will soon forget the ‘old you.’

28 Days to Success- The Walkthrough I decided to not reveal the actual 28-day walkthrough section until now because I wanted to equip you first with the fundamentals of building your understanding about your inner self. You have now identified your values, core beliefs, and standards, and you discovered how to overcome issues such as fear and anger before moving into the actual goal-setting stage. This is where I hand the baton over to you, and you begin to take action, starting with tiny steps that will lead to a better life. By now, you should certainly know what you want to get out of life. Now, comes the moment to put your words and thoughts into action. I want you to split a calendar into separate, achievable chunks. Do not set any unrealistic goals for yourself. This will only cause you frustration. Start small, and build up your confidence first. As your confidence grows so, too, will your achievements! Okay, hang on because here we go! Days 1- 7 The first week will be used to research, collect your tools, and digest this e-book. If you haven’t already (and can), buy a diary and a journal. This will help you to record your thoughts and feelings throughout the upcoming weeks. Your first goal is to create a list of your wants and desires. Write these out along with the reasons why you want to make each change. These are contained within the first few exercises of Step 1 (feel free to refer back). Identify your strengths and weaknesses, and have a clear plan in place. Take small steps where you build confidence through daily tasks. These steps may be as simple as communicating with a family member or loved one, spending some time with someone, or letting a friend know you care. No matter how small, take a new step confidently that you would not have had the courage to take the week before.

Day’s 8-14 This week and the next should include Steps 2 and 3, which is going to be difficult. You have now been introduced to the idea that emotional strength needs to be mastered. This means you must understand your past and identify your values and beliefs to see if they align with your current situation and lifestyle. Take time to rediscover your inner beliefs and core values. The exercises inside this book are perfect for this. Inside your diary, make sure to have your daily incantations written out, so you can verbalize them to keep you focused throughout the week. Keep your steps and actions small and achievable. If you have a fear that you want to overcome, now is the time! Identify it (or them), and design a clear strategy for confronting it (or them). If confidence is an issue, make small plans over the next week or so, and identify days where you can complete minute tasks to increase your confidence. Day’s 15 – 21 This week should ideally be deemed “plan of attack” week. You must have a plan in place. You are now open to what needs to be done, and you have a clear vision of your path. You know your beliefs, your values, and your standards. You should understand if any conflicts exist. You should be focused on making progress and changing your rituals so that they match your goals in life. If you are still struggling, then revisit the book again, and complete the steps and exercises until you are satisfied with your progress. 1. Ensure that you are using your diary to record emotions. 2. Remember to use your journal to record daily actions, and keep yourself organized.

3. Recite daily incantations! Say strong, powerful, positive words before leaving for work or before you start your day. Pretend that you are telling the world how you are going to take control and really be someone. Please note that if your conflicts are an issue, you may need professional help. Take this opportunity to ask for help, and book an appointment with a professional therapist. You can also open up your heart and soul to someone you really trust (a close friend, spouse, parent, or sibling). Day’s 22-28 It’s “ACTION” week!! Every day should be a positive thinking day. Every morning, you should wake up happy and determined to make the day yours. Own it, my friend, with all you heart, and be passionate about what is to come. Spend the week making yourself happy, overcoming your fears, and tackling small challenges. If you lack self-esteem, then this is your week to try new things. Immerse yourself in new pleasures, so you can let the past flutter away. Help other people; make this week the week where you help as many people as possible. Do things for others, but do them for yourself not for praise. Make solid decisions, and be proactive. At the end of each week, look back and reflect to see what you have done. Compose a plan for the next week. Everyone loves a man with a plan, right? Once you have completed your goals, go ahead, and move on to the next area of your life that you feel needs improvement. Remember, this is ALL ABOUT YOU! Now, plan your next 28 days, and take your life to the next level! Here are some action plan examples for key areas of life that most people can relate to or want to change: Career- First, identify what it is you dislike about your job. What skills do you have or want to have that could make it better? If you desire a complete career move, then start making changes and

updates to your CV or resume. Go to your local job agency, and upload your CV or resume with them. Start to actively search for your new dream job, or begin a new part time course to sharpen your skills. Health and Fitness – Visit your local gym or fitness center, and ask for an introduction or tour. Research online or speak to a nutritionist about your diet, and create a new, healthier eating regiment. Make sure your next meal is a healthy one. Bite the bullet, and cut out fried foods, chocolate, fats, and bad carbohydrates. Measure your body weight, and record it each day. Measuring your progress will allow you to reward yourself, and take pride in your progress. Relationships – Whether you’re in a relationship or not, allocating enough time for others can be difficult. Using your calendar, establish certain days to spend with your loved ones, as well as days where you can be productive, getting chores and work done. There must be a healthy life balance. More importantly TALK to your partner/family. Help them understand that you want to spend more quality time with them and how you intend to do so. If you are single, maybe try a dating site. Load up some flattering pictures of your gorgeous self, and create a clear, concise description of who you are and all your qualities (Try to avoid any negatives, but be honest). If dating sites are a no-go for you, it’s okay. Do not panic! Have patience, and enjoy your time. Immerse yourself into meeting new people and friends. You never know who might be around the corner, just waiting to sweep you off your feet. End of Step 3 Summary Start your engines! Step 3 is all about putting thought into action; it is making things move with actual goals in place. The calendar provided is an example for you to edit however you see fit, adding in your own thoughts and targets.

In addition to the calendar, it is important to continually build your self-esteem. This way when you do make progress and something unexpected happens, you won’t take several steps backwards and become demoralized, but rather, you will have the confidence to carry on. This links back in with Step 2. Again, it’s important to understand how you were raised as a child and how you can become more open with your thoughts and feelings. This way, when a negative thought, feeling, or situation does hit you, you can shrug it off, and bounce back quickly! Lastly, positive thinking will most definitely put you in good stride for success. Attracting the good energy surrounding you will improve your life. Simply having good thoughts from the moment you wake up can affect your whole day, and keep you focused on bigger and better things.

Chapter 4 - Step 4 – Wealth Management

A wise man will desire no more than what he may get justly, use soberly, distribute cheerfully, and leave contentedly

-Benjamin Franklin

Along with having the right frame of mind, it’s a great idea to get your finances on track. The pressures associated with debt and financial problems are a major source of stress and one of the main reasons many people want to make a change in their life. Your finances reflect you as a person. If you earn a lot of money, your lifestyle will reflect that. If your funds are limited, again, this will be reflected by your current circumstances. It’s essential to find a clear direction in which to steer your wealth. For most of us, money is a major part of our lives. Debt influences how we spend our remaining money once we have paid off our monthly debts. Debt causes bankruptcy; debt subdued and minimized creates financial freedom. As our world fights to survive the current financial crisis, each of us faces a similar personal balancing act. We must ask ourselves:

1. Are we confident enough in the economy and our own personal abilities to risk more debt? 2. Can we be content with what we have accumulated and not have to fake abundance for the sake of keeping up with the Jones’? In the midst of all this confusion, the media continues to bombard us with credit card offers, refinancing deals, reverse mortgages, and debt consolidation scams. Suze Orman, author of Nine Steps to Financial Freedom, says: “You will never have financial freedom if you have credit card debt. It is impossible. Debt of any kind is bondage.” I intend to map out a strategy for surviving and overcoming debt and achieving financial independence and freedom. You’ll discover the psychology behind why people fall into debt, stay in debt, and never achieve true financial freedom. Then we’ll explore the abundance mindset and how to transform a debt mentality into a prosperity program. For the sake of this book, I am going to use America as my example. Forty to sixty million people are on the brink or over their credit limits. Twenty-five percent of the adult U.S. population has “problem” credit. There has been a 19% increase per year of bankruptcies with the current rate being 1.5 million per year. The debt to income ratio is 2.5 to 1, meaning the average person would have to allocate thirty months of their income solely to pay their debt (with no other expenses paid or figured into the equation). Our economy is built upon debt. Many of us live under the assumption that debt is a necessary part of life that drives the economy (so not true). Many households would be broke if they operated like a business, trapped beneath piling bills and interest. Debt does not fuel the economy; it only suffocates it. It does not nurture growth; it stunts and poisons it. Extreme debt is not a fundamental organ in the body of commerce; it is an aberration, a spreading of cancer, which disrupts the circulation of healthy trade. Debt, in large, is unnecessary.

Of course, debt can be very useful if you need to buy a home or finance a business. The good news is that over the last year or so, people have made more of a concerted effort to save and reduce credit card debt. Due to this trend, consumers will also be affected, through mortgages, car loans, credit cards, and student loans. This will cause slower economic growth and potentially weaken the job market. Your relationship with money dates back to some of your earliest relationships formed. Family dynamics play a huge part in the way you interpret money and finances. What were the “money messages” you received growing up? How did your parents handle or talk about money? Did they have enough money? Were they constantly comparing their money with wealthier people in the community? Did they argue over money? Did they try to buy your love and respect with “things” instead of touch and empathy? What you learned about money as a child influences your attitudes and actions around money today, and you may need to free yourself of this “negativity toward having money” mentality. Many people obsess and strive excessively to be wealthy and instead become emotionally poor. Their relationships suffer because they dwell on becoming rich rather than working on their relationships. This stems from a power struggle over control. On one hand, the person craves money to equalize a power relationship where he might have often been told, “As long as you live in this house, you won’t!” The attention to accumulating wealth, attention to the price and value of possessions, and the obsession with the wealth of others sits at one end of the spectrum. On the other hand, a person may stick his head in the sand, pretending money issues don’t concern him. This obsession to accumulate more and more money, possessions, prestige, control, and honor puts his relationships, health, and other interests at risk. These kinds of people expect money to bring them happiness. Children and spouses become distractions on the way to the ‘Promise Land of Wealth and Prestige.’ Relationships become power struggles, where money becomes their idol and creates a disease of isolation. All decisions, discussions, and relationships revolve around money, which yields power and control.

Being in debt, as I mentioned earlier can lead to depression. People work so hard to achieve their dreams, and when their expectations are not met, they turn to debt, spending, gambling, and sometimes unsafe deal-making to recuse themselves. This will only make their financial situation much worse. There are people who have a profound feeling of shame around money. They live in fear and despair of ever being able to turn their life around and become debt free. These people most likely grew up in families where there was not enough to go around. When losing control financially, it affects our relationships, jobs, health, and money. Some people incur more debt despite negative, emotional, financial consequences. Losing control can spur anxiety related issues and cause further debt problems if the person is pushed into making hasty decisions while trying to resolve a situation. With compulsive spenders, they, too, always end up in debt unless they have a magical money tree (Haven’t you just always wanted one of those?). They feel that they have to have something now, even though they have lived without it for years. This is linked to an inability to accept limits from others or self-imposed limits. Even when they buy what they desire, they still do not feel satisfied, and the cycle of craving repeats. The advantages of reducing debt include that you will have more savings and expendable income at your disposal (instead of wasting most of your hard earned cash paying off interest and credit). The object is to become financially free to save money, and create your own wealth. When reducing debt, you can also reduce the emotional scars which money sometimes represents. Some people use money to gain respect, which will only create false expectations. Being in control of your financial situation affords you the luxury of also controlling your emotions regarding debt. Controlling your finances feels like freedom itself and will give you added confidence and determination to improve other areas of your life. It will also give you more expendable income to spend on your family and yourself. The best ways to reduce debt NOW are:

1. Complete the attached personal budget form. This will help you consolidate onto one document how much you spend and how much you owe, allowing you to see exactly where you are spending money and where you can save. 2. Make a list of loans and debt separately to identify how much you owe in total. You can include your mortgage if you wish, as technically this is still a debt. 3. Speak with your bank for free financial advice. They are professionals, and they may provide you with the answers you have been struggling to find. 4. Create a money plan to start saving. Whatever money you can save in accordance to your budget, place into a separate high interest savings account, and do not touch it. Hold yourself accountable. What you focus on, you will attract. The road to freedom starts inside your mind, so you need to focus on saving money and spending less than you earn. I know that seems like common sense, but believe me, a lot of people live way beyond their means daily. Here is the secret; the key to creating abundant wealth is to have multiple income funds, separate pots containing enough money for you to survive off the interest. Having a higher standard will give you the edge, so raise your standards. It is the same principle for losing weight. Setting a high standard for yourself, in regards to your eating habits, will give you the momentum to stay strong, and see your goals through. It is a case of must vs. should statements. You decide in life what becomes a must and what stays a should. You can say, “I should save my money,” but in truth, are you really going to do it? When you say, “I must save my money,” then, you are making a statement with more conviction and setting a high standard behind it. You will unleash significant determination when you fully commit to live and breathe your beliefs.

Here are some helpful tips in creating a positive and realistic mindset for financial wealth: 1. Define: Identify a purpose for your life, which includes an ideal or value you cherish and want to contribute to society. 2. Desire: What do you intensely desire? Write down your deepest desires, so you can keep them close. 3. Self-reliance: Believe in your abilities. Despite your childhood and societal messages, it is ultimately up to you to decide to live in abundance. We are all endowed with unique abilities. Find yours. Trust your own intuition. Be persistent. 4. Organize: A sloppy plan just leads to more chaos, clutter, and weakened motivation. So, put together a well-organized plan, my friend! 5. Knowledge: Once you design a plan, insert the knowledge you’ll need to acquire to be the best you can be. Be consistent in learning. Research and experience will give you the confidence to move forward with your dreams. 6. Cooperation: Cooperate with others. Show empathy and understanding of others’ plights in life. Otherwise, building resentments and living off the opinions of others simply destroys persistence to want to rise above the crowd. Personal Budget Planner I want you to have a clear idea of what your financial situation is and look at what areas you can save money in. Please feel free to fill in your details, or copy this out into your journal. Mortgage/Rent: Council tax: Gas, Electricity, Oil: All personal property insurance: Food:

Expenses: Clothing: Telephone: Internet and TV: Car tax and insurance: Car running costs: Car service: Children’s expenditure: Loans: Credit cards: Savings: Holidays: Total Expenditure = Personal Income: Any Additional Family Income = Net Total Survival Budget = Once you have filled this out, you will be able to see roughly what your outgoing expenses are per month, and how much money you have left over. Now, you can easily identify what areas (if any) you can save money on, and use that spare money to start your “honey pot,” which you can build upon. Please be aware that if you are in significant amounts of debt, it may be worth seeking professional help and weighing your options. If you are finding yourself in a hole you cannot climb out of, do not suffer alone in silence. End of Step 4 Summary Step 4 is a basic understanding of what wealth can do for you. I did not want to get too detailed as this guide is simply for the first 28 days of making primary changes in your life. Wealth is very important and should not be over looked (hence why I included a personal budget planner). So, get yourself and your finances organized, and start thinking of some great ways to

save on your expenses. Get started on creating multiple income pots of wealth.

Chapter 5 - Step 5 – The Final Step to Success I hope the last 4 steps have been beneficial, and you are in good shape for taking decisive action to create a better life for yourself. In this section, I am going to talk about health and diet, while also covering some of the topics you may have already read. I want to make sure, by the end of this book, you have done all the exercises and are committed to start making some small changes in your life. I am often asked during coaching, how is it possible to have certainty when all these events and changes occur? Well the answer is simple. The secret to life is to find meaning behind each event. Sometimes in your life, there will be instances when you think things are not going your way, even though you are making progress. This, my friend, is life, and you can either chose to suffer or persevere. You can allow it to affect you, or you can simply see the meaning and purpose behind it, and rely on your emotional strength. As long as you stick to the main principles, which are: have a vision, find the meaning, gain momentum, and take action, you will fully enjoy the fruits of your labor. You simply cannot go wrong. You cannot just fall into success. It needs to be worked for and earned.

***************** Minute Motivator You are the only one who can push for success. Do not let other people write your destiny for you. It is in your hands so be confident. Be wise, and learn as much as you can. Knowledge is power to those who know how to use it.

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Treat Yourself A crucial part of change is to reward yourself through every step. Progress deserves to be recognized, and what is better than treating yourself at the end of each week or month? For example, if you are intending to change your health and fitness, you embark on your road to transformation. Let’s say, you start by designing your nutrition plan, which includes how many days a week you intend to hit the gym and what to eat for each day. This is where you plan or build in a ‘naughty/cheat’ day. Maybe on Saturday or Sunday, you designate that day to be where you can eat whatever you want. Your treat could be your favorite meal, dessert, or take away. Whatever it is, make sure it’s a fulfilling reward for all the hard work you have put in during the week. The method behind this madness allows you to gradually ease into a pattern of working hard during the week and having something to look forward to at the end of it. If you completely cut out all rewards, there is a good chance that your mind will start to find the task boring, and you won’t be stimulated or motivated to continue. This will eventually cause you to give up. So, don’t be afraid to treat yourself to a reward when you work hard. This can be applied to any challenge. If you are wanting a new car, work your money plan out to achieve the financial goal, and when it happens, your brand new car will be waiting! I want to remind you that the main focus here is to stimulate your mind with progress. After several weeks and months of adapting, your mind will love the new you, and the old you will feel like a distant memory. Find The Compelling Future In order to grow we need hope. We need that light at the end of the tunnel to head for, and with your new vision, it’s paramount that you ensure you have hope firmly grasped within your reach. A compelling future will ensure you stay motivated and focused. You must find reason behind your actions and the decisions you

make. It will also give you an amazing flow of confidence because you know what it is you want, and you have a plan to achieve it. This, my friend, is the secret to success. As I have been saying throughout this book, come up with the idea, mold it, put the work in, sweat for the cause, and reach for results. You will have your moment to shine! Health and Fitness Talking as a qualified fitness instructor, it would be foolish of me not to include a small section in this book about health and fitness. I would personally recommend taking a serious look at your diet and health patterns. Do you have a good diet? Do you feel energetic? Having a bad diet will inevitably cause an increase in weight; this will then cause strain to the back and other major joints and muscles, which will affect the body’s mobility. Even if your plan only includes walking three times a week for thirty minutes a session, that will still make a huge difference to your life. It will give you a great feeling of accomplishment. I have mentioned this already, but your physical appearance matches your lifestyle. This is very true. If you go to the gym times times a week, your body will show it. It has to! So, hit the gym! Your body will love you for it. For me, it’s the psychology behind being healthy and active that excites me. When you decide that it’s a must to go to the gym, then you discover a new purpose and goal to get in shape. Maybe you want to lose some weight or have bigger muscles. Either way, good fitness is a very attainable goal to have. You will start to enjoy seeing your results as they come and basking in the elevated feelings of phenomenal self-worth. Your self-worth and self-esteem will provide you with a reason to keep reaching for your dreams and goals, and when you have been on your journey for a year or two, it will become second nature.

So, if fitness and being in good physical health is one of your goals, that’s great! Spend some time figuring out what it is you like to do because it has to be enjoyable, or you won’t stick with it. Make a plan, and schedule to get started. You should also track results in your journal or diary, including your current weight, your targeted weight, and a record of each session. This will give you a great reference to look back on to see your improvement. Along with fitness you should also implement a good diet. So, if you are wanting to lose weight, do some research online, and look for healthy diets that might suit your needs. Consult with a physician, and try one out. Simply cutting down on carbs and eating more fruit and vegetables is a great start. You can do it! I know you can!

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Final words from James Dawborn I just want to personally thank you for reading this book. I hope it brings new meaning to your life and sets you on a course that will be both rewarding and satisfying. Your emotional needs are essential for understanding your current situation and why you are who you are. There are so many topics I could write about, in so much detail, but then, this guide would be over 1000 pages (and it would take you forever to read). I want you to read, and get started! So, I kept it short and sweet. Please feel free to revisit any part of this e-book, and redo any of the tasks or exercises again. Your destiny is in your hands. Do not let someone else tell you who or what you should be. You’re here for a purpose, so identify that purpose, find a path that best suits you, and start making the necessary changes to make great progress. If you do all of this, you will definitely experience success. Once you have achieved your goals, you will naturally want to improve other areas of your life, which is perfectly natural because our life is constantly changing. However, the main purpose of this

book is to show you the emotional tools that will allow you to adapt to ever-changing situations. You must be able to accept that, yes, pain will happen. It is a significant part of life, but it is how we choose to interpret this pain that truly makes a big difference. Goals will always be set, and dreams and desires will always exist. But, it’s your emotional strength that will decide whether or not they come true for you. I sincerely hope they do! Do remember if you find that you are still not strong enough to do this by yourself, then DON’T. Ask for help. There is no shame seeking guidance, and there are professional therapists out there waiting to help you. Communicate with your friends and family. A problem shared is a problem solved, and it is most definitely a strength to admit a weakness. So, please do not ever suffer alone. Please keep a look out for my next book, and let me know how your transformation is coming along. In the meantime, you can find me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/Oraclewellbeing I would love to have you along for the journey. All the very best, James Dawborn

***************** Minute Motivator Do not let pain cause you to suffer. Find the meaning behind each action, and allow it work in your favor. Your life will be amazing, and you will inspire not only your loved ones but also the people around you. Live with passion, my friend, and live with pride.  

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