303 H Your marriage

Marketplace facts: Lead your family with dignityMarketplace facts: Lead your family with dignity

MARKETPLACE FACTSModule 303 H

DEALING WITH THE IMPASSE IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Mario Denton

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Overall purpose of this series on Marketplace

To understand and learn from various marketplace facts so that you can: • Be more effective and anointed wherever you are in the marketplace.

• Adapt and benchmark your marketplace practices and principles discussed in this series.

• Use these material to facilitate the work of evangelism.




• Have you ever experienced an impasse in your marriage?

• You know, two people, coming from different backgrounds, temperaments and giftedness, who look at the same data and come away with opposite conclusions?




• No amount of talk, persuasive efforts, argumentation, manipulation or pressure can change their perspective.

• Period. • From their standpoint 2 + 2 seems to equal

4.2. • The irresistible force against the

immovable object!



Well, what to do.

Pout? Yell? Threaten? Withdraw? Cast blame? Slander? Move to the

Bahamas? What?



Well, what to do. • No, as a sheer act of the will you start with

praying over, and applying I Corinthians 13:4-8.

• You just do it, because it’s not about being right.

• It is about being Christ-like: “Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.



Well, what to do. • Love doesn't strut, Doesn't have a swelled

head, doesn't force itself on others, isn't always ‘me first,’ doesn't fly off the handle, doesn't keep score of the sins of others, doesn't revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.



Well, what to do.

• Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit.” (Msg.)



Next you prayerfully ponder James 1:2-5:

• “When all kinds of trials and temptations crowd into your lives, my brothers, don’t resent them as intruders, but welcome them as friends!

• Realize that they come to test your faith and to produce in you the quality of endurance.




• But let the process go on until that endurance is fully developed, and you will find you have become men of mature character with the right sort of independence.




• And if, in the process, any of you does not know how to meet any particular problem he has only to ask God-who gives generously to all men without making them feel foolish or guilty-and he may be quite sure that the necessary wisdom will be given him.”



• You have a trial in your life that God intends to use to produce in you the quality of perseverance that translates into spiritual maturity. (Romans 5:3-5)

• God is more concerned about your development character-wise then in you being right relative to the impasse.



• He intends to use the impasse to forge godly character in you…with no guarantee of solving the impasse.



• Then, you prayerfully mull over and apply the characteristics of wisdom mentioned in James 1:5 (above), as amplified in James 3:17, 18.

• That is, you concentrate on yourself in making the necessary character changes, and letting God take care of the necessary changes in your spouse



The wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all:

Pure: Literally: Clean, modest, innocent. (See Philip. 4:8; 2 Cor. 11:2)

Question: Am I living without hypocrisy? With total integrity?




Peace-loving: Literally: Loving peace, bringing peace. (See Hebrews

12:11) Question: Do I really desire peace (but not at the

expense of purity)?




• Considerate: Literally: Patient, mild, yielding, equitable. (See Philip. 4:5; 1 Peter 2:18)

• Question: Am I truly a reasonable person or am I dogmatic and arbitrary? Is it my way or the highway?




• Submissive: Literally: Compliant, good for persuasion, reasonable. (See Eph. 5:21, 22; 1 Pet 3:1,2)

• Question: Am I willing to carefully consider and even submit to my spouses’ preferences over my own?




• Full of mercy: Literally: Compassionate, tender, possessing pity. (See James 2:13,16)

• Question: Am I willing to lighten up and not demand my standard?

• Do I allow for mistakes and human frailty?




• Good fruit: Literally: Good deeds. (See Philippians 1:11; Matt. 7:17,18)

• Question: Is what I am saying validated by the integrity of my attitudes and actions?




• Impartial: Literally: Unwavering, unhesitating, not doubting. (See James 1:6)

• Question: Is my thinking, and are my decisions based on the solid foundation of a pattern of applied Biblical truth into my life?




• Sincere: Literally: Genuine and unfeigned. (See Romans 12:9)

• Question: Am I the genuine article? That is, unaffected, real, frank, truthful, and honest at the core?




• Discuss how to apply these same principles in your career. How much would it cost you annually to apply these?



Philippians 4:9• Practice what you have learned

and received and heard and seen in me, and model your way of living on it, and the God of peace (of untroubled, undisturbed well-being) will be with you.presence in my life this week. Amen.



Philippians 4:9• Doing the right thing brings reward.• We need to put into practice the

things we know to be right.• Then we will experience God's

peace.• Then we will enjoy more of God's

presence with us.



Philippians 4:9• PRAYER: Lord, forgive me for the

wrong things I have done. • I want to follow You and do what

You would have me do. • Give me Your peace and may I

enjoy Your presence in my life this week. Amen.



Prayer Focus• Father, In the name of Jesus, I

surrender myself to walk in the Word in the marketplace. Your word living in me produces the Life in this world.

• The word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. It makes my way plain before me.

• I boldly and confidently say that my heart is fixed and established on the solid foundation – the Living Word of God! Amen



Learning, application and commitment: James 1: 22-25

• “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves.

• Do what it says. • Anyone who listens to the word but does not do

what it says is like a man who looks at his face in the mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

• But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does.” (NIV)



Learning, application and commitment

• One of the principles that I have learned from this lesson was …

• I intend to apply this principle in my marketplace by: …..

• With the help of the Holy Spirit, I will begin applying this truth immediately.



Jesus said: Take what I have given you and change the world!



Let's keep the good marketplace vibes alive. Let's network.

Become a member of the Crown Companies Marketplace Coaching Forum.

Tel (w) + 27(0) 82 88 29903. e-mail address:[email protected]

Website: www.crown.org.za

Blessings from Dr Mario Denton as the Africa: Continental Programme Director - Marketplace



Sources and acknowledgementCHRIST@ WORK NEWSLETTER

• Copyright Notice• © 2005 FCCI- Limited permission to copy without altering text or

profiteering is granted subject to inclusion of this copyright notice. Copy is limited to member and/or FCCI small group use.

• The “Facts of the Matter” is also available through the Internet: www.factsofthematter.org. 2003 R. Dwight Hill.

• Slides compiled by Mario Denton. • Please commit yourself to inform us of the results regarding the

effectiveness thereof should you wish to use this material.


Documents

303 H Your marriage