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Brainteasers 5 Tuesday - Return Day (uh, go back where you came from?) Who’s this? 4 Angelo State's Finest Paper Since Fall 2006 Wednesday - Feast of Stolen Fire Ram of the Week 2 Colbert Cornert 5 So Damn Awesome 6 Quote of the Week 3 Facebook Invasion 3 Dante Residential 7 November 2, 2007 Thoughts To Ponder 5 Plan Your Eulogy Day Outie Belly Buttons = Ugly People Outie Belly Buttons = Ugly People Outie Belly Buttons = Ugly People Outie Belly Buttons = Ugly People Volume 3, Issue 6 Beach
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Outie Belly Buttons = Ugly PeopleOutie Belly Buttons = Ugly PeopleOutie Belly Buttons = Ugly PeopleOutie Belly Buttons = Ugly People
Picture of the WeekPicture of the WeekPicture of the WeekPicture of the Week
Lee with Hair...
Beach
(Dramatization)
Saturday - Give Someone a Dollar Day (I got a dollar,
I got a dollar, I got a dollar, hey hey hey hey)
Sunday - Waiting for the Barbarians Day
(hope they don't take too long, I hate waiting)
Monday - National Doughnut Day (mmmmm, doughnut...)
Tuesday - Return Day (uh, go back where you came from?)
Wednesday - Feast of Stolen Fire
Thursday - Cook Something Pungent Day (make sure to hold your nose)
Ramdiculous Observances
Submit your photos at ramdiculous.com
A
Ramdiculous Page
blessed with Superman's X-Ray Vi-
sion. So, sorry outie belly button
people, you're ugly. It's a fact of life.
You take the good, you take the bad.
You take them both and there you
have - the facts of life. If you wish to
change others perceptions of your
outer shell to get the to like you,
rather than face the arduous task of
forcing them to "get to know you as a
person," you are now in luck. There's
a fabulous
I know what you're thinking,
"What kind of person would
make such a blatantly offensive
statement?" Well, if you are
anything like the rest of the
American public, then you
would. Studies have shown that
out of the entire population of
the world, Americans rank as
the most shallow, appearance
based society*. This means that
anything, no matter how slight
it might be in the scope of life,
will be considered ugly even if
it doesn't hold any bearing on
the person's actual being or
personality. Now, most people
have innie belly buttons which
is quite the norm and therefore
socially accepted as beautiful.
But there are a select few who
are predisposed to having
outies, though most times they
are able to wander the streets of
our cities unnoticed. Let's face
it, most people don't go around
with their belly buttons hang-
ing out unless they are on a
beach, a hooker, or Paris Hil-
ton**. So when it is discovered
that a friend or relative, or even
a complete stranger, has an
outie belly button, they are
automatically ostracized and
mocked. Secretly, however,
those poking fun at the outie-
haver are thinking to themselves
that the person is ugly as sin.
And why do they hate people
with outies? Because they are
taught that outer beauty is the
most and only important thing.
Since people with outies are
different, aka not anorexically
thin blondes with implants and
vapid personalities, they are
seen as ugly by the world. That
is not to say of course that they
truly are ugly, but based solely
upon the fact that they have an
outie rather than an innie, they
are. Beauty may only be skin
deep, but that's as far as people
can actually look. We are not all
Angelo State ' s Finest Paper Since Fal l 2006
Included in this issue:
Ram of the Week 2
Movie Review 2
Quote of the Week 3
Facebook Invasion 3
Poetry Time 4
Who’s this? 4
Thoughts To Ponder 5
Brainteasers 5
Movies 10
Dante Residential 7
Colbert Cornert 5
Mythbusters 7
So Damn Awesome 6
A
November 2, 2007
Plan Your Eulogy Day
Volume 3, Issue 6
Continued on page 3
Rambelle of the Week
Awkwardness...
When your roommate asks if you are going When your roommate asks if you are going When your roommate asks if you are going When your roommate asks if you are going to "go over and make sure she puts it in" to "go over and make sure she puts it in" to "go over and make sure she puts it in" to "go over and make sure she puts it in" while referencing his girlfriend...while referencing his girlfriend...while referencing his girlfriend...while referencing his girlfriend... This section of the Ramdiculous Page is for things that
make a normal person feel awkward…
Submit your thoughts @ ramdiculous.com
SAW IV
Laura is cool because she’s so in love with a cool God.
She likes nothing more than to play guitar and sing , and
trust me, she has a really amazing voice. You should go
listen to her sing sometime...seriously.
Dark. Sadistic. Twisted. Deliciously evil.
Sick. Hilarious.
All of these are things which I would call
Saw IV, the latest in the franchise,
though certainly not the last. You heard
right, not the last. Lionsgate just inked a
deal committing to the making of at least
2, possibly 3, more Saw films. But,
enough current events, on with the
review.
Done in what has become its' trademark
style, Saw IV is gritty, dirty and looks like
it was shot on a home Hi-8, but this is
what the audience has come to know,
love and expect. The storyline for this
newest installment is centered around Lt.
Rigg, you know, the big burly black
SWAT cop from Saw III. Okay, maybe
you don't, but it doesn't matter, just trust
me. The idea this time is that Lt. Rigg
must face his demons, as is the usual way
with these films, and try to quit his
obsession with saving people. Sound
weird? Well, it is but thus the basis of
appeal.
There are plenty of wicked traps and
tricks in the film which are deliciously
evil and so sickeningly twisted that I
nearly coughed up a lung I was laughing
so much. Yes, I find humor in this film,
maybe I'm a sick freak but at least I know
what's good. I don't want to spoil this
film for anyone because I think you just
have to see it for yourself. In fact, I will
be going again soon if anyone would care
to join me...but I digress.
The only thing I found wrong with this
film was that they blatantly ripped off a
death scene from Final Destination 3. I
don't know if they just thought maybe no
one would notice or they ran out of
ideas, but either way I was saddened. For
shame, Lionsgate and Patrick Melton and
Marcus Dunstan. I caught you. You can't
trick a trickster.
As for acting, it was lame as usual. But
hey, who cares when there are so many
other intricacies and nuances to toy with
your head. I must say that I had to wait
nearly an hour and five minutes before I
figured out the ending (which is a record
best for the writers of Saw. Typically I've
done it in under 20 minutes). And, if any
of you know or care who he is, Scott
Patterson makes an appearance in the
film as Special Agent Strahm, that was a
delightful surprise.
Overall, this film was cruel, unusual (for
a Saw film), and utterly amazing. Tons of
twists (maybe one too many. might have
been stretching it), cohesive plot and
storyline, ample amounts of blood, and a
couple of awkward sad moments. I
definitely think this is the best Saw film
to date, and give it a well-earned, solid A
and 1/2.
--Kendall T Longbottom
Page 2 Volume 3, Issue 6 Ramdiculous Page
The Weekly Journal Have you ever thought about the possible correlations be-
tween pancakes and U.F.O.’s? Well I just happened to be studying this
possibility for the past 150 seconds. It is almost mind-blowing how
correlationy the objects are. The only downside is that one is edible,
where the other may not be. But I think they may be because they are
freekin’ aliens.
First, let’s start with the shape of both objects. Both are rela-
tively flat. Pancakes are very flat, flying saucers are somewhat flat with
a hump in the middle (teehee).
The history of pancakes!!!!
One day an alien got bored in his home planet. He had to be
bored because what can be boring when you’re a freekin’ alien. Flying
through walls is fun much of the time. Unless you accidentally fly into
the bathroom when a whale is taking a shower… So this alien, we shall
call him Hollander. He got bored and went for an inter-galactic drive/
fly/hyperspace thing. HOWEVER! Something went wrong because of
the sun (long story), and he crashed…..BOOOOOOM(&(@&(*^&! In
area 51. Since nothing exists in area 51, it would be a couple days until
he could get help and/or repair his ship. After am arduous day’s work,
the alien became hungry, because he descended from monkeys as
well. But alas! Hollander had no pancake mix! Soooo sad. But lucky
Hollander! There was a 7/11 just around the corner. He used his stealth
cloak and jacked some bisquick and sugar, since you cant have salty
pancakes unless an Iron Chef prepares them. So he returns to the crash
site and grabs his Tupperware bowl and gets to work. Mixing, mixing,
mixing…Hollander was rather happy about his progress until he de-
cided that raw pancake batter was not in the least bit tasty. So he got a
cookie sheet (also his invention) and put it on his still cooling anti-
gravity engine. He began to pour the batter, but to Hollander’s surprise
and dismay, gravity kicked in and made them flat. At first Hollander
was a little bit upset, but then he figured that, since they were flat, he
could make 5000 of them and store them for the return trip. So he
stole more mix, more sugar, and got to work. He finished making the
buttload of sandwiches, but then the army came and killed him.
-George Ferguson
Laura
Hertzler
home surgery kit that can reverse your outie, thus giving you an innie and
making you gorgeous. All you need to do is take a pair of scissors, a steak
knife and a bucket (to be placed beneath you) and start cutting away. Also, a
vacuum cleaner will come in handy for sucking away the excess blood and
the final remnants of your outie***. Sad as that may seem, it may be your
only option if you find yourself with an incurable outie that has brought you
nothing but pain and mockery. On the downside, if you are affected by peo-
ple thinking your ugly for having an outie, you are very impressionable and
just as shallow as they, we suggest joining a cult and drinking the Kool-Aid.
--Samuel Clemens
*study doesn't actually exist
** a snatch does not count as a belly button, but it is hanging out most of the
time also.
*** Ramdiculous Page does not condone this action, but suggests it only as a
way to make you less ugly, uglyface
*** Ramdiculous Page does not condone this action, but suggests it only as a
way to make you less ugly, uglyface. What celebrity do you
have a crush on?
BSM ActivitiesBSM ActivitiesBSM ActivitiesBSM Activities
Ignite @ 7:30 PM on Monday
Freshmen Bible Study @ 7:30 PM on Tuesday
Logos Lunch @ 12 PM on Friday
Upcoming EventsUpcoming EventsUpcoming EventsUpcoming Events
Volleyball v. Cameron, 2 p.m.
Nov. 3, JC/SA.
Football v. Tarleton State, 6 p.m.
Nov. 3, SA Stadium.
Quote of the WeekQuote of the WeekQuote of the WeekQuote of the Week
“You don’t watch TV and you “You don’t watch TV and you “You don’t watch TV and you “You don’t watch TV and you
don’t do good in school.”don’t do good in school.”don’t do good in school.”don’t do good in school.”
----Seth ChomoutSeth ChomoutSeth ChomoutSeth Chomout
Consumables of the
Week
Drink: Dr Pepper
Snack: Popcorn Make sure you have at
least one this week
Ryan Reynolds
-Logan Lankford
Brisbane, Australia
WEATHER:
This Week’s Happenings
Page 3 Volume 3, Issue 6 Ramdiculous Page
BEYONCE KNOWLES!!!
Who happens to be my
future wife!
-Casey Grounds
Matthew McConaughey....
droooool!
-Katie Harpool Television… If you want it back let us know…
When our favorite shows come back we will put
random ones here… i.e. Lost...
Continued from page 1
DDDDDDDDOOOOOOOO YOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOUYOU KNOWKNOWKNOWKNOWKNOWKNOWKNOWKNOW WHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHO THISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHISTHIS ISISISISISISISIS????????????????????????
If you do,
tell us at:
ramdiculous.com
And we will put your name in the
paper.
CHECK US
OUT @
Page 4 Volume 3, Issue 6 Ramdiculous Page
I like pizza
Its warm gooey nature astounds my
senses
I like pizza
The taste of a fresh crust is incomparable
Your can put almost anything on it
And somehow its great taste is main-
tained
You can even leave off all but the cheese
And it will still make your tongue jump
I like pizza
Pizza is good
POETRY TIME
.Aries- DO NOT GO ON AN ESCAPADE. It may prove
fateful. If you do, however, go on an escapade, be sure to
take a fishing spoon.
Taurus- Today is your day to flaunt.
Gemini- A cookie is worth a thousand words to John Stewart, but worth a million to
Stephen Colbert.
Cancer- Listen to a death metal song. It could be fun.
Leo- Argue a lot. Like a piece of land…
Virgo- Always….always, use plastic. I see fire in your future.
Scorpio- This week your friends will not call you a friend. Go cry emo kid.
Sagittarius- we may have a land full of evil supermans. Go get lots of kryptonite.
Capricorn- Ode to the jambalaya stew. You, stew, are good. So much filled with goodness. Even with
Andouille sausage.
Aquarius- Pay off your credit cards or THE ENFORCER WILL KICK YOU IN THE BABY MAKER!
Pisces- F.Y.I. Dr. Pepper is addicting, and the world will run out in 2.5 minutes (that’s 150 seconds for all non-astute
persons)
Horoscopes
Page 5 Volume 3, Issue 6 Ramdiculous Page
Thoughts To Ponder
• If someone owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way to the center of the earth?
• Why are both of Spongebob's parents round like sea sponges while he is square like a kitchen sponge?
• If bald people work as chefs in a restaurant, do they have to wear hairnets?
Brainteasers
Looking for a customized
website for your business?
Give us a call and set up a meeting.
(512) 567-4460
A
These are some
brainteasers, if you
don’t know what
they are go home…
the answers will be
down there next
week...
Words of wisdom from the great
Stephen Colbert
“Where is this myth coming from that eating trans-fat
and high sugar will make you fat?”
“There, Paul Stanley
finally looks masculine!”
Art by:
http://www.isthistomorrow.com/
80% of our readers prefer Colbert to Stewart
A little on the big side
Double Team
One flew over the
cuckoo's Nest
Winnie the Pooh
From Winnie the Pooh
Thank you Derek Durst, for knowing the
right answer...again.
t
t
u
b
smblowoke r
u
o
y
R
G the rosey I
N
play play
play play
Ramdiculous Page Page 6 Volume 3, Issue 6
This week, in part five, we examine Stephen Colbert's book, I Am America (And So Can You).
Colbert penned this best-seller so that his plethora of unaired opinions would be available to the masses and help to fix the problems of
this nation. For a book that has only been out a scant three weeks, Colbert's book has already garnered much attention and was even
awarded The Stephen T Colbert Award for the Literary Excellence, even before it was released to the public! The book is written in classic
Stephen Colbert truthiness and is straight forward, unabashed helping after helping of sheer genius. Reading this book is like watching a
227 page edition of The Word. If you have no idea what that is, I suggest playing a rousing game of "Go swallow the stuff under the sink."
If you do know, kudos, you are on track with our most influential pundit of all time. Colbert addresses many of the poignant social issues
facing our nation in his trademark style of brilliance, cynicism and sarcasm, and yet is able to persuade you with his docile tonality and
reassuring fatherly hand placed firmly on your lower back. He discusses, candidly, such things as the American family, immigration, homo-
sexuality, religion, and of course, himself. His ideas on such things are as humorous as they are ingenious. Who else but Stephen Colbert
could suggest, "[buiding] a 2000-mile-long front porch along our border with Mexico and line it with the angry aged" (p. 26) as a solution to
how to solve the illegal immigration crisis? Another thing Colbert helps with is the awkwardness of dating. Sound strange? Well, being that
Stephen Colbert was once himself a young adolescent, though clearly more suave than anyone else then or since, he offers up sure fire ways
to win over a lady friend on a date. He suggests always, ALWAYS ordering for the woman because "she's wrapped up in food issues...if she
orders an entree,..she's a pig, but if she only orders a salad,...she's anorexic." And who wants that kind of pressure? Thank you, Stephen
Colbert for easing the minds of all of us smart enough to purchase your life-changing book. Granted, the book goes on from there, but I
have yet to be able to finish it all. Sad, I know, but what can you do? You apparently have to "attend class" in order to "get credit" and on
top of that, you need to "do the homework." That's a lot and I've thus been slacking on my Colbert-ucation*. But, until next time....
--Samuel Clemens
*Colbert-ucation is a trademarked word of the author. Any unauthorized use of the word or any other word the author has coined** is
subject to prosecution (or execution) under the law.
**For complete list of words coined by author, please mail self-addressed envelope and $25 US to Ramdiculous Page, 9482 ASU Station,
San Angelo TX
Glen Meadows Baptist Church would like to
invite you to its college ministry!
We meet at the Lake House at 9:00 AM on Sunday Mornings,
as well as Tuesday evenings at 7:00 PM. Come early and stay
late and use our free washers and dryers, as well as the big
screen TV, free food and drinks, and a load of fun. Come by
and check it out.
Oh yeah, the Lake House is across the street from the Glen Meadows,
which is west on Knickerbocker. Take a left down American Legion Road
and it is the first lake house on the right.
http://www.college.gmbc.org
Ramdiculous Page
Ok Ram Rugby fans, this year there are only two home
games left, so plan for them.
Saturday, December 15, 2007 (alumni game)
Saturday, January 19, 2008 (University of Texas)
Remember: new players are always welcome.
1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two counterfeit $16 bills. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxi-cated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still wouldn't give him the money, so the robber called the police -- and was arrested.
2. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walk-ing" stole a steamroller and led police on a 5mph chase, until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.
3. (28 February 2000, Delaware) A Dover man filled his portable propane bottle at a service station, placed the bottle on the floor of the passenger's side, and drove home. As he was driving, the nicotine blues hit him hard. He had to have that smoke. Unfortunately for him, he had only partially sealed the propane bottle's shutoff valve. Our hero flicked his bic, and we had lift-off... of the sunroof and windows in his car! Our astronaut didn't make it into outer space this time, but he did manage a ride on the helicopter that airlifted him to the hospital for treatment of his burned hands and face.
Ramdiculous Page T-Shirts? Yes, they are coming!!!
Do you have a great shirt idea? Send it to us at
Page 7 Volume 3, Issue 6
Darwin Awards (Ex Celebrity Arrests….because it
was stupid)
Ok, so we received an idea from a Rambelle of the Week from long ago, who
thought having a Mythbusters segment would be cool… So we are going to run
with it…
If you have any kind of Myth that you want to find out the truth on,
email us @ [email protected]
They are going to start serving
chicken strips in Roscoe’s Den!!!
(this one is actually true!)
Attitude is Everything By: Sir Walter Raleigh I have come to a few conclusions through the first ten
weeks of school. First of all, I hate school. Now, you might
say that is an unhealthy feeling, to which I would reply,
“You’re right.” Nonetheless, that is the way I feel, and there
is not much I can do about it. Or is there? That brings me to
my second conclusion. That is that repeatedly telling your-
self and others is very detrimental to your schooling. It ba-
sically puts you into a spiral because the more you hate
school, the less effort you put into it, which causes you to
do more poorly in your classes, then causing you to hate
them more. It may seem as though it is unavoidable. If you
hate school, then you hate school. But that’s not true. If you
try to think positively about school and work hard at it, you
will actually find that it’s not as bad as you thought. You
will feel good as you are rewarded for your efforts, and
you will likely spend much less time on homework if you
just have a good attitude about it and get it done, instead
of dreading it and putting it off as long as you can. It’s the
simple things like that which can make all the difference.
Those simple things like just doing your work and study-
ing without complaining. Oh, and also try to avoid other
people who complain about school because it will become
very easy to just start right in with them, and then you will
just feed off each other until you are both worse off than
before (though you will feel better ‘cause after all, you got
to vent right?). As good as it may feel to “vent,” you will
feel much better if you just suck it up and stop complain-
ing.
Page 8 Volume 3, Issue 6 Ramdiculous Page
I weep for San Angelo's morning ra-
dio scene. It's just too terrible to bear.
Take for instance the Bob & Tom
Show on The Rock. In an ideal world, the
show would play some music every now
and then. Instead it's two-plus hours of
fart jokes and some guys guffawing at lame
comedians, interspersed with all the static
from the station's ridiculously weak trans-
mission.
Or there's morning rock jock Chase
O'Reilly on The Fire. Truthfully, in recent
months I've been wondering whether
Chase O'Reilly actually exists, or if he may
simply be a figment of everyone's imagina-
tion. Anything is possible in radio.
No, the perfect morning show in San
Angelo was the Mix Morning Madhouse,
a pristine balance of music and comedy,
which the geniuses at Mix 106 cancelled
in late 2004. In its place, piped in from
Dallas, is some dude named "Kidd Krad-
dick."
But, first, I must backtrack. Do you
remember the IN-YOUR-FACE AWE-
SOME Mix Morning Madhouse on Mix
106 back in the day? If you don't, to hell
with you:
IN THE BEGINNING, there was J. Pat
McKaye and Jack the Burrito Guy. And they
had the Morning Madhouse. And it was
GOOD.
Then, in 2004, J. Pat left for lands un-
known. Into his chair came Andy Allen. And
he was UNFUNNY. And there was a great
darkness.
But, once again, there was great rejoicing
in the land, because Andy was SMOTE from
the Madhouse. His replacement was Jayson
Slater, who sat in J. Pat's chair alongside the
Burrito Guy. And Slater was GOOD.
And thanks to the talents of Slater, I
was starting to listen to the Madhouse
again. Then they yanked it in favor of
something more poppy.
And I wept when they did (not
really). Godspeed, Burrito Guy.
So now there's Kidd Kraddick. And
I'm not certain who "Kidd Kraddick" actu-
ally is, because there are like three dudes
on that show at any given time, and they
all sound mostly the same. And the chick
on that show annoys me.
A typical show goes something like
this (although this may not be entirely
accurate; I couldn't stand to listen to more
than one minute):
Some dude: Welcome back to "Kidd
Kraddick in the Morning". You're listen-
ing to Kidd, Al, Kellie, and [random host],
and BOY, we're having a good time.
Aren't we? Aren't YOU?
Kellie, the only discernable voice:
Oh my GAWSH. I went out one day and
my car wouldn't start. And it was COLD
outside, YA'LL! I can't STAND IT! It was
AWFUL! [Tells story to death]
Random voice: YEEEOOOOW!
Some dude, likely Kidd: Listeners,
don't forget to help Kidd's Kids, a non-
profit organization that I'm constantly
promoting. And go to our website, which
I promote even more. I want to kiss my-
self. Kraddick Kraddick Kraddick.
Other dudes: Yeah. Good times.
Kellie: Hey, do that song. It cracks
me up.
Another dude, apparently a guest:
[Sings vague parody of an outdated song, proba-
bly "SexyBack"]
A dude, perhaps Al, maybe Kidd:
We'll be right back after these Ashlee
Simpson songs we'll be making fun of
next week.
Mix 106 Announcer: You're listening
to "Kidd Kraddick in the Morning" here
on Mix 106.
Me: No, I'm not. [Switches to The Fire;
listens to overplayed Nickelback song; wishes
Chase O'Reilly would play some KISS]
REQUIEM FOR THE BURRITO GUY by Thomas Nast
Ramdiculous Page Page 9 Volume 3, Issue 6
We also have the
RAMDICULOUS PAGE
in color, online!
"The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and
came across some poll data I found rather hard to
believe. It must be true, given the source, right?
The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Ameri-
cans are unhappy with the direction the country is
headed, and 69 percent of the country is unhappy
with the performance of the President. In essence,
2/3's of the citizenry just isn't happy and want a
change.
So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking,
''What are we so unhappy about?'' Is it that we have
electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week?
Is our unhappiness the result of having air condition-
ing in the summer and heating in the winter?
Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks
have a job?
Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at
any time, and see more food in moments than Darfur
has seen in the last year?
Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean
to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present
identification papers as we move through each state?
Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we
would find along the way that can provide temporary
shelter?
I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying
cuisine from around the world is just not good
enough.
Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency
workers show up and provide services to help all, and
even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.
Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans
who own a home. You may be upset with knowing
that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of
trained firefighters will appear in moments and use
top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus
saving you, your family and your belongings.
Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat
screen TVs, a burglar or prowler or intrudes , an
officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest
will come to defend you and your family against
attack or loss.
This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of
bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents.
Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own
cell phones and computers.
How about the complete religious, social and political
freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in
the world?
Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks un-
happy.
Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled
brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world
loves the U.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens.
They ! see us f or what we are. The most blessed
people in the world who do nothing but complain
about what we don't have , and what we hate about
the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live
here.
I know, I know. What about the President who took
us into war and has no plan to get us out? The Presi-
dent who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is
this the same President who guided the nation in the
dark days after 9/11? The President that cut taxes to
bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the
same guy who has been called every name in the book
for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful
brats safe from terrorist attacks?
The Commander-In Chief of an all-volunteer army
that is out there defending you and me? Did you hear
how bad the President is on the news or talk show?
Did this news affect you so much, make you so un-
happy you couldn't take a look around for yourself
and see all the good things and be glad?
Think about it...are you upset at the President be-
cause he actually caused you personal pain OR is it
because the "Media" told you he was failing to kiss
your sorry ungrateful behind every day.
Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and
Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many
cases may have died for your freedom. There is cur-
rently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go.
They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a
''general'' discharge, an ''other than honorable'' dis-
charge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' dis-
charge after a few days in the brig.
So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds
of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want, but I
blame it on the media. If it bleeds, it leads; and they
specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car
crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids
selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this
and media outlets! are for -profit corporations. They
offer what sells , and when criticized, try to defend
their actions by "justifying" them in one way or an-
other. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like
O.J. Simpson to write a book about "how he didn't
kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this
way"...Insane!
Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by
the media. Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use
the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage.
Then start being grateful for all we have as a country.
There is exponentially more good than bad.
We are among the most blessed people on Earth, and
should thank God several times a day, or at least be
thankful and appreciative.
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud
slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the
country from one end to another, and with the threat
of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a
good time to take God out of the Pledge of Alle-
giance?"
—Jay Leno, 2007
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