ACADEMIC ENGLISH IIIClass 24

June 5, 2013

Today

Quotations & Paraphrasing

First: Review - Nominalization

Noun forms of verbs.

i.e.,

illustrate illustration

fail failure

react reaction

First: Review - Nominalization

Noun forms of verbs.

Problems with nominalization:

- Make sentences less concise (wordy).

- Increase noun-to-verb ration.

- Make sentences more difficult to understand.

- Can make reading tedious.

First: Review - Nominalization

Noun forms of verbs.

i.e.,

The commencement of the ceremony will be at noon.

With an action verb:

The ceremony will commence at noon.

First: Review - Nominalization

Nominalization can make writing very confusing:

An expansion in the utilization of pencils was the cause of the reduction in the utilization of red ink. (19 words).

An expansion in the utilization of pencils was the cause of the reduction in the utilization of red ink. (19 words).

People are using less ink because they are using more pencils. (12 words),

First: Review - Nominalization

Nominalization can make writing very confusing:

The analysis process that was the requirement of the experimentation protocol is an indication of researchers’ lack of ability in data synthesis. (22 words)

The analysis process that was the requirement of the experimentation protocol is an indication of researchers’ lack of ability in data synthesis. (22 words)

The way the researchers analyzed the data indicates they do not know how to synthesize data. (16 words)

Revising Nominalization 1. The budget cuts for the Writing Center were the topic of our debate. We debated the budget cuts for the Writing Center.

2. The intention of the jury is to reach a decision. The jury intends to reach a decision.

3. There is a need for reinforcement of this law.

The city government must reinforce this law. This law needs to be reinforced.

4. We did a study of the progression of lung cancer.

We studied how lung cancer progresses

Revising Nominalization

5. The delay of the flight was caused by the storm.

The storm delayed the flight.

6. There was scorching of vegetation by the 2007 fires in Morgan Hill

The 2007 fires in Morgan Hill scorched vegetation.

7. Our presentation was about a new regulation.

We presented a new regulation.

8. It was expected that our collection of data would be quick.

We expected to collect data quickly.

Revising Nominalization

9. The coroner did an examination of the body.

The coroner examined the body.

10. A demand must exist for clean energy.

We must demand clean energy.

Direct quotations

Usually need reporting verbs or phrases:

• - assert - according to• - insist - As XYZ says• - claim• - say• - state• - suggest

Direct quotations

• It seems apparent that if athletes want to win, they must

consider using drugs. Dr. Michael Karsten, a Dutch

physician who said he has prescribed steroids to

hundreds of athletes, states, “If you are especially

gifted, you may win once, but from my experience

you can’t continue to win without drugs. The field is

just too filled with drug users” (Bamberger and Yaeger,

1997: 62).

Indirect quotations

• It seems apparent that if athletes want to win, they must

consider using drugs. Dr. Michael Karsten, a Dutch

physician who said he had prescribed steroids to

hundreds of athletes, stated that if [athletes] were

especially gifted, [they] might win once, but from his

experience [they] couldn’t continue to win without drugs.

He asserted that the field was just too filled with drug

users (Bamberger and Yaeger, 2010, p. 62).

Changing Direct Quotations to Indirect

1. Remove the quotation marks (“ “)

2. Add the subordinator, that. (i.e., “asserts that…”)

3. Change verb tense if necessary. - Remember tense rules.

4. Change pronouns (and time expressions if necessary) to maintain the sense of the original.

Direct to indirect quotation

Paraphrasing

Putting a passage into your own words without changing the meaning.

- Used to (slightly) shorten a longer statement, maintaining the main ideas.

Paraphrasing techniques

Change from a clause to a phrase

i.e., After he studied, John took a nap.

After studying, John took a nap.

The house across the street is new.

The house that is across the street is new.

Paraphrasing techniques

Change from Quoted to Indirect Speech.

i.e., Mr. Lee said, “I am ready for lunch.”

Mr. Lee said he was ready for lunch.

Paraphrasing techniques

Change from active voice to passive voice **

i.e., A hotel employee will carry your bags.

Your bags will be carried by a hotel employee.

** Use this only if you cannot find a better way to paraphrase.

Paraphrasing techniques

Replace words with synonyms

i.e., A hotel employee will carry your bags.

A bell boy will pick up your luggage.

i.e., The stallion was content with the mare.

The stallion was happy with the mare.

Paraphrasing techniques

When you can’t find a synonym

- Replace the original word with a definition**

i.e., The stallion was content with the mare.

The male horse was happy with the female horse.

** Use this only if you cannot find a better way to paraphrase.

Paraphrasing techniques

Change word forms

- Use an adverb instead of an adjective.

- Use a verb instead of a noun.

i.e., Terry is an accurate typist.

Terry types accurately.

Paraphrasing techniques

The previous were individual techniques for paraphrasing.

You cannot simply change one aspect (i.e., one word) of a passage and call it a paraphrase. That would actually be plagiarism.

Paraphrasing techniques

For effective paraphrasing, you must combine these techniques.

i.e., After he ate lunch, Moe took a nap.

Moe slept a little after eating lunch.

- Change to phrase, use synonym.

Paraphrasing techniques

For effective paraphrasing, you must combine these techniques.

i.e., The house that is across the street is old.

The house across the street is old.

The house on the other side of the street is old.

The dwelling on the other side of the road is ancient.

Paraphrasing techniques – one more

Change transitions

i.e., Although it was raining, Bob walked to work.

It was raining, but Bob walked to work.

It was raining; however, Bob walked to work.

Paraphrasing techniques – one more

Change transitions

i.e., Although it was raining, Bob walked to work.

It was raining, but Bob walked to work.

It was raining; however, Bob walked to work.

(With changed word form):

Despite the rain, Bob went to work on foot.

Paraphrasing techniques - Practice

Today, people are worried about internet security.

Advocates of internet tracking believe that it helps marketers to understand what people want.

People who oppose internet tracking believe that it is an invasion of privacy.

This information age will cause more and more people to become concerned with the level of personal detail that can be found from the internet.

How to paraphrase

- Read the original passage carefully, several times.

- Decide the main ideas of the passage.

- Highlight important words or phrases.

- Put the main points in your own words.

- Check your version with the original to make sure:

the original’s meaning is preserved.your version is sufficiently different from the original

(Oshima & Hogue, 2006)

Compare the original and paraphrase1. How many sentences are in the original. How many in the paraphrase?

2. Analyze the differences in sentence structure and words between the original and paraphrase.

a. What is the first word of the first sentence in the original? Where does this word appear in the first sentence of the paraphrase?

b. What is the first word in the second sentence in the original? What word replaces it in the second sentence of the paraphrase?

c. What words replace “have dreamed of” in the third sentence? What word replaces “arguments in favor of” in the fourth sentence?

d. Which sentence in the original becomes two sentences in the paraphrase?

Compare the original and paraphrase1. How many sentences are in the original. How many in the paraphrase?

2. Analyze the differences in sentence structure and words between the original and paraphrase.

a. What is the first word of the first sentence in the original? Where does this word appear in the first sentence of the paraphrase?

b. What is the first word in the second sentence in the original? What word replaces it in the second sentence of the paraphrase?

c. What words replace “have dreamed of” in the third sentence? What word replaces “arguments in favor of” in the fourth sentence?

d. Which sentence in the original becomes two sentences in the paraphrase?

56

Language

at the endBut

however

have wished for

reasons

the last sentence

Paraphrase Example 1

Passage from a Book:

Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place.

Good Paraphrase Example

HIGHLIGHTED PASSAGE

Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place

ORIGINAL PASSAGE• Ancient Egyptians

believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place.

PARAPHRASED

PASSAGE• King Osiris was the first

pharaoh and spread knowledge. Queen Isis ruled Egypt when he was gone.

Bad Paraphrase Example

Original Passage• Ancient Egyptians

believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place.

Highlighted Passage

Ancient Egyptians believed that Osiris, a good and wise king, was the first pharaoh. He spread knowledge to other parts of the world, while his wife, Isis, ruled Egypt in his place.

Poor Paraphrasing• King Osiris was an

ancient Egyptian King and the first pharaoh. He was good and wise because he spread knowledge to other parts of the world. His wife Isis ruled Egypt in his place.

Paraphrase Example 2

Passage from a Book:

Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother Set, who cut Osiris’s body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Good Example

Original Passage• Upon returning home,

Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Highlighted Passage

Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Paraphrased Passage

Osiris’s brother Set killed Osiris by cutting his body into pieces, and Isis put the body back together.

Bad Example

Original Passage• Upon returning home,

Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Highlighted Passage

Upon returning home, Osiris was murdered by his evil brother, Set who cut his body into pieces and dumped it in the Nile River. Isis found the body and put it back together by winding linen bandages around it.

Poor Paraphrasing• Osiris was murdered

and Isis found the body

Practice

Passage:

In 1857, a British expedition led by Richard Burton and John Speke set out to find the great lakes shown on Ptolemy’s map. After reaching Lake Tanganyika, the two men split up because Burton was ill.

Example

Which one is the best?

Richard Burton and his friend looked for the great lakes shown on Ptolemy’s map. The men split up.

In 1857, Richard Burton and John Speke searched for the great lakes on Ptolemy’s map, but they had to split up when Burton was ill.

Two men from Britain looked for the great lakes but had to split up because one was ill.

Paraphrase: Important note

ALWAYS include a citation when you paraphrase.

- Just because you have changed the delivery of the idea does not mean it is yours.

- Einstein’s Theory of Relativity

If I call it “Relativity Theory”, that doesn’t make it mine.

Einstein’s Theory of Relativity

Prof. Merritt’s Relativity Theory. Hmm…

Paraphrase: Important note

APA style does not require you to include page numbers for summaries and paraphrasing, but it is a useful courtesy for your reader.

Paraphrase

- “The purpose of paraphrasing is to be able to use it as supporting material in your writing,” (Oshima & Hogue, 2006).

- Obviously, the same goes for quotations and summaries.

Reminder

Paper 4 First draft: Bring on Friday (Peer editing)

- Use the “Paper 4 Self-revision checklist” to edit and revise your rough draft.

- Write first draft

- Bring to class.