Adult Anger Management Presentation

Anderson & AndersonAdult

Anger ManagementFacilitator Certification

Training

Agenda

The following topics will be covered in this course:• Anger Management Assessment

1.Anger• Stress• Emotional intelligence• Communication

Agenda continued• Self-Awareness• Self-Control• Social Awareness• Relationship Management• Anderson & Anderson Ancillary training

material.• Feedback about the training.

Course Objectives

Upon completion of this anger management facilitator training program, the individual will be able to:• Recognize the role of individual

responsibility in changing unacceptable behavior.

• Develop a working understanding of anger/stress patterns and responses.

Course Objectives• Use the Adult Anger Management Workbook and

Contrasting Wheels of Behavior as skill enhancement tools.

• Understand how to use the 4 anchors of the Anderson model in classroom management.

• Make the training more interesting by using ancillary training materials including videos and DVDs.

Course Objectives• Help your participants through classroom

exercises and practice in order to:o Identify “situational anger” that consistently

results in angry responses that can lead to unacceptable behavior.

o Eliminate or minimize violent or unacceptable behavior.

o Learn new coping skills to handle anger, stress and other feelings.

Course Objectives

• Learn new assertive communication skills and listening techniques effectively to improve effective communication.

• Become aware of one’s own stress and anger signals and develop the capacity to sense the mood of persons with whom they must interact.

• Understand the entire curriculum is based on Emotional Intelligence.

• Use sports analogies to help to understand the importance of practicing new skills.

Anger Management CurriculumWhat is it?

• Anger Management is a course designed to teach skills in Self-Awareness, Self-Control,

• Social Awareness and Relationship Management.

Anger Management is not:

• Counseling• Psychotherapy

• Nor a treatment for mental illness

Anger Management is

Anger Management is an emotional intelligence skill enhancement course which teaches new coping skills so that an individual can change unacceptable behavioral patterns.

First Assignment

• Complete the Control Log, which is one of the Anchors of the program.

• Have the group analyze each client’s Control Log by using the Contrasting Wheels of Behavior.

Positive Wheel & Negative Wheel

Contrasting Wheels of Behavior

• At any point, the group can be directed to analyze a particular incident by using these tools.

• The Positive Wheel is what we want each client to master.

• The Negative Wheel relates to sell-awareness and self-control.

Anger

Anyone can become angry – that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy.– Aristotle

Getting Started

Starting the educational process.• Intake

o Assessmento Workbook

Group rules Control Log

First assignment

Emotional Intelligence Assessment

• An assessment/screening should be provided at intake.

• Goal of assessment is to select individuals who may benefit from a psycho-educational/emotional intelligence model.

• Rule out candidates who are not appropriate for this type of intervention.

• Determine the clients level of EQ functioning.

Rule out the following categories

• Brain damaged clients• Psychotic clients• Clients who are abusing

drugs or alcohol• Suicidal/homicidal clients• Unmotivated clients

Assessment

• Anderson & Anderson recommends that an assessment be done during intake.

• The recommended assessment tool is the BarOn Emotional Quotient Inventory.

BarOn Emotional Quotient Inventory

• Masters or Doctoral level persons with training in psychometrics may purchase these assessments

directly from MHS Systems• or

• Anderson & Anderson can provide the assessments and interpretation on-line in

minutes

Group Rulesare the 4th Anchor

The Group Rules

• The Group Rules should be customized for use in Jails,Prisons or Military Establishments.

• When clients are in violation of the rules, a review of the rules can quickly bring the group together and back on target.

CASEThe 4 major areas of study in this model are:• Communications• Anger Management• Stress• Emotional Intelligence/Empathy

Control Log Workbook

Control Log DATE ____ / ____ / ____

Briefly describe the incident that resulted in yourreferral to this program.

1. Actions: What did you want to happen in this situation?

2. Beliefs:What caused you to think that your actions wouldget the results you wanted?

3. Feelings:What feelings were you having?

Control Log Continued4. Denial:Did you attempt to make light of your role in this situation? Did you attempt to blame the other person?

5. Cost of Anger:What was the impact of your action?On you:On the other person:On others:

Control Log Continued

6. Past Incidents:Did any past aggression on your part affect this situation?

7. Alternatives:What could you have done differently?

ConstructiveInterpersonal Interactions

Positive Wheel

Definitions of Positive WheelDefine the following terms in your own words:• Assertiveness• Active Listening• Focusing• Seeking compromise• Rephrasing• Honest Feedback• Expressing Feelings• Stating Needs

Destructive InterpersonalInteractions

Negative Wheel

Definitions of Negative Wheel

Define the following terms in your own words:• Hostility• Inattention• Intimidation• Controlling• Manipulation• Interrupting• Avoidance• Rage

The 4 Anchors• The 4 Anchors which appear on the

following slide can be used as often as needed to enhance EQ skills.

Constructive InteractionDestructive InteractionThe Control LogGroup Rules

The 4 Anchors

Control Log

Anger, what is it?

• Webster’s definition is; “a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong”.

• Anger is a basic human emotion used to express negative feelings.

Anger is a Primitive Response

The Primitive Roots of Anger

• Anger is generated in the part of the brain called the limbic system. This is a primitive part of the brain concerned with survival.

• The limbic system responds to external stimuli nearly half a second before we can begin thinking about what we have seen.

• The limbic system hijacks both the brain and body in “emergency” situations.

Fight or

Flight !

Expression of Anger

• Anger is a normal human emotion.

• Everyone at some time experiences anger.

The Expression of Anger

Expression of AngerWhen the expression of anger manifests itself in antisocial, self-damaging, or behavior that is damaging it becomes a problem.

Then the expression of anger needs to be modified through the anger management educational process.

Anger is a problem when any of the following situations occur:

• When it is too intense• When it occurs too frequently• When it last too long• When it causes health problems• When it destroys interpersonal

relationships• When it leads to aggression of violence

Learned Response?

Burning a CD

• Most of our responses to situations are learned at a young age.

• These responses can create self-destructive behaviors patterns.

Push My Buttons

Destroying the Old CDs• Behavior that is

learned can be modified with practice and patience.

• Anger Management is helping individuals recognize and manage these self-destructive behaviors.

Burning a new CDAnger Management helpsIndividuals “Burn new CDs” so that when someone pushes their buttons they can respond with a new more appropriate tune.

The application of Anger Management techniques increases Emotional Intelligence.

This is done by learning and practicing a new set of skills.

Anger Check list

• Use the checklist in the client workbook to assist your students in determining their level of anger.

Heavy Costs of Anger

Anger Destroys Personal Relationships

We often think that anger effects strangers, however it’s normally the people closest to us that are hurt.

Anger,Makes Bad Situations Worse

Aggression or Violence

Road Rage

Desk Rage !

Personal Self Awareness Inventory

Stress Management

Three Skillsfor Managing Stress

1.Develop Awarenesso Identifying your stressorso What causes you

Drama?– Acceptance

o Keeping situations in focus

o Talking to yourself– Coping

o Just do it!o Get away from it all

Skill 1Develop Awareness

Symptoms of Stress

• Checking time often• Eating very fast• Rushing to places when there is

no need• Standing in lines• Walking fast even though you

are not in a hurry

• Trying to do everything perfectly

• Not getting along with others

• Getting angry when someone says you did something wrong

• Always trying to beat others

• Not getting things done on time

• Worrying about things

Check each stressor that you notice in your life:

Negative Self-talk:Nine Categories

1.Digital Thinking: Seeing things as black or white a “one” or a “zero” with no in-between value. o “If I’m not perfect, then I’m a complete

failure.”– Hot Stove Thinking: A mind set

based on a single event. o It is destructive to assume that what has

happened in the past will always happen again.


1. Telepathic Thinking: You assume you know what others are thinking and how they feel about you.

2. “Chicken Little” Thinking: Making the importance of an event larger than it really is, seeing disaster where there is none. o Is the sky really falling?

The Sky isFalling!


1.Center-of-the-Universe Thinking:

Everyone else’s behavior is a reaction to you, and you always compare yourself to others.


6. Control Myopia: Unable to tell the difference between things that can and cannot be controlled or which are important or can be ignored.


1.Finger Pointing: You feel a bad event is always someone else's fault. You look only at punishing the people who did wrong.


8. Hall Monitor Mindset: You feel there is a code of behavior that must be followed by you and others. You feel bad when the rules aren’t followed and you see the injustice of it all.


9. Remote-Controlled Thinking: You think your feelings are known to everyone. You believe that if you feel a certain way, then the facts of the situation must be in line with that feeling.

Worry

• Our negative thoughts about stressors often manifest as “worry.”

“Worrying is about as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.”

– Mary Schmich

Skill 2Acceptance

• Use positive self-dialogue• This might be the time for CBT

o Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Three-step Process: Affirmative Thinking

1.Listen:Pay attention to your unwanted stress reactions.

2.Analyze:o Are the self-messages true?o Is the tone of the self-talk negative? o If so, what type of belief does it represent? (Digital Thinking, Hot Stove Thinking, Chicken Little

Thinking, and Control Myopia, etc.)

Three-step Process: Affirmative Thinking - Continued

1.Replace: Negative self-talk with positive self-talk based on affirmative beliefs.

o By making a new habit of affirmative thinking and positive self-talk, you will be able to control your unwanted reactions to stress.

Affirmations to Manage Stress

• I control my emotions.• I get rid of all tensions.• I take charge of my life.• I can deal with stress.• I let go and have fun every day.• I have time to do my work every day.• My life is great just the way it is.• I am excited about my life.

Develop a “Stress Resistant” Personality

• Keep situations In focus.• Worrying about things

that will never happen.• When put into a stressful

situation, people will normally think the worst.

• Use positive self-talk to fight this tendency.

• Talk to a Professional.

Skill 3:Coping Skills, the Do’s

• Physical exercise is an ideal way to help reduce your stress level.

• Exercise has a calming effect that lasts long after the exercise session is over.

Skill 3:Coping Skills, the Do’s

• Take a mind trip• Do a body inventory

o Sit or lay in a comfortable position and mentally scan your body for tense areas.

o Start at the bottom and work your way up your body relaxing each area as you go alone.

• Talk yourself down with calming self-talk

Coping SkillsThe Don’ts

• Eating and smoking are not a good way to deal with stress.

• Smoking and alcohol can:o increase the physical impact of stresso increase the likelihood of depression.

Systematic Desensitization

Four steps to a less stressful life:1.Recognize how your body reacts to

stress.– List of stressful or anxiety provoking

events.– Practice makes perfect (do it in your

mind)– Practice makes perfect (do it for real)

How well do you manage stress ?

• Can you name three situations that cause stress in your life?

• Can you list three symptoms, physical, emotional or behavioral that occur when you are stressed?

Acceptance Skills

1.Are you able to maintain the proper attitude?

2.Can you sometimes talk yourself out of feeling stressed?

3.To what extent can you anticipate stressful situations and apply prevention strategies to protect yourself?

Coping Skills

• Do you know and use relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation?

• When you feel stressed, do you ever exercise to get rid of this feeling?

Action Skills

• Make a list and prioritize tasks to keep yourself from feeling too rushed?

• How do you plan your activates to avoid or reduce stress?

Communication Skills

• Are you able to express your feelings easily?

• Can you communicate effectively with others when conflicts arise?

• Are you able to listen to others with a sense of concern and caring?

Stress Log

Use the stress log to keep track of the stressors and responses you noticed through the day.

Thinking Ahead

• Choose two high risk situations which you are concerned about now.

• Identify your physical, emotional, and behavioral reactions to the stressor.

• Write the situations down and identify three coping strategies or ways to handle these with our resorting to inappropriate behavior.

Stress Test

1.What is stress?2.What are three skills you can use to manage

stress?3.Name two physical signs of stress.4.Name two emotional or behavioral symptoms of

stress

Stress Test

What do we mean by:1.“stress is good”?– “stress is harmful”?– “stress is energy”? – What causes stress in your life?

Part 3Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Simply means:Putting your heart over your head.

EQ skills can be practiced and learned at any point in one’s life.

EQ is a greater predictor of success in life, work and marriage than is IQ.

Our emotions guide us in facing predicaments and tasks too important to leave to intellect alone.

The Four Domains of Emotional Intelligence

1.Self awareness2.Self control3.Social awareness4.Relationship management• Self-awareness facilitates both empathy and self

control.• Empathy and self control combine to provide

effective relationship management.

Self Awareness

• Emotional self awareness: Reading one’s own emotions and recognizing their impact.

• Accurate self assessment: Knowing one’s strengths and limits.

• Self Confidence: A sound sense of one’s self worth and capabilities.

Self Control

• Emotional self control: Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses under control.

• Transparency: Displaying honesty and integrity – trustworthiness.

• Adaptability: Flexibly adapting to changing situations or new obstacles.

• Achievement: The drive to perform to meet personal standards.

• Initiative: Readiness to act and seize opportunities.

• Optimism: Seeing the possibilities in events – “The glass is half-full.”

Social Awareness• Empathy: Sensing others’

emotions, understanding their perspectives, and taking active interest in their concerns.

• Group awareness: Reading the currents, decision networks, and politics at the group level.

• Service: Recognizing and meeting the needs of others.

Relationship Management• Inspiration: Motivating and

empowering with a compelling vision.• Influence: Impacting decisions and

outcomes while respecting the rights of others.

• Mentoring: Helping others to develop.

• Conflict management: Resolving disagreements.

• Collaboration: Partnership, cooperation, and teamwork.

Self Awareness: The Foundation

• Without self-awareness, we cannot be aware of our emotions.

• We cannot manage emotions we are not aware of, so our emotions will tend to be out of control.

• Out of control emotions impair our ability to experience empathy and to connect with others.

• When our emotions are out of control, our relationships suffer – we do not have social awareness or the ability for social management.

Self Awareness and Anger

• Self awareness allows us to notice destructive feelings, such as resentment.

• Resentment can be used to justify actions.

• Self control allows us to use assertive communication to resolve emotional distress.

• Thus, the resentment does not continue to fester bursting out as rage.

Emotions & Feelings

• Emotion: A set of body-rooted survival mechanisms that have evolved to turn us away from danger and propel us forward to things that may be of benefit.

• Feelings: The mental awareness of emotions.

The Importance of Emotions• A life without emotion, without joy or love,

sadness or anger, would not be life as we know it.

• Emotions allow one to make rational decisions, especially in a moment of crisis.

• Emotions help us to function efficiently in any capacity.

• Without emotions it can be difficult to make the simplest decision or to pursue any single plan to fruitful conclusion.

• Without emotions it is difficult to evaluate one thing over another.

Managing Negative Emotions1.Identify the feeling.2.Ask if it is healthy

or helpful.– If it’s not healthy

work to put it out ofyour mind.

The Four AgreementsDon Miguel Ruiz’s book, “The Four Agreements”, exposes self-limiting beliefs and shows how to strengthen emotional intelligence:1.Be impeccable with your word.– Don’t take anything personally.– Don’t make assumptions.– Always do your best.

Self-Talk

• Often, self-talk is negative and hurtful: o “Oh, I’m such an idiot to have done that again!”

• Self-talk may be aimed at others and lead to anger:o “What a jerk he is! Is he too stupid to use his turn

signal?!?”

• Being impeccable with our word means learning to reframe our self-talk.

Positive Self-Talk

• Positive self-talk will break the anger cycle and led the way towards higher self-esteem.

• Positive self-talk is honest, but non-judgmental. It is being impeccable with your word.

• Frequently it is a challenge to develop positive self-talk.

• With practice positive self-talk will become automatic.

I am smart

Anger Management

Anger First Aid

• When the limbic system is running amok and surging with adrenaline, a simple strategy to deal with anger is needed.

• Anger First Aid consists of three simple steps to apply whenever you become angry in order to keep from acting out destructively.

Anger First Aid

Step 1. Recognize that you feel angry.

Anger First Aid

Step 2. Take a cleansing breath.

Anger First Aid

Step 3. Take a “time-out” to “cool-down.”

Take a Time Out

• Whatever situation triggers anger, angry people are in no state of mind to resolve it effectively.

• The limbic system impairs judgment and the ability to reason during anger.

• It is effective to wait until one has calmed down before attempting to resolve the situation.

Three Elements of a Time-Out

1.Tell the other person that you are taking a time-out.

– Tell the other person how long your time-out will be.

– Actually take a mental time-out. Do not focus on the problem or how you have been wronged – this will only make things worse!

Six Seconds

• According to Six Seconds, the leading emotional intelligence organization in the nation:

• It takes six seconds to manage anger• It takes six seconds to create compassion• It takes six seconds to make a difference

Anger LogSituation: Describe the situation about which you became angry.• Beliefs – What did you tell yourself about

the situation?• Feelings – Describe how you felt.• Actions – Describe what you did. • Dispute – If your thinking is what caused

the anger, modify your thought processes.

Seven Steps to Anger Control

1.Feelings2.Thoughts3.Reframe4.Clarify5.Goals6.Options7.Actions

Communication

Improving Communication4 Key Elements:1. The ability to listen without judging.

2. Show understanding of what has been said.

3. Acknowledge and accept another’s views.

4. Don’t impose your beliefs on someone else.

Roadblocks to CommunicationEleven communication stoppers

1. Ordering• Warning• Preaching• Advising• Lecturing• Criticizing• Name calling• Analyzing• Denying feelings• Interrogating• Sarcasm

8 Positive Communications Skills

1.Silence2.Acknowledgement3.Validate4.Encourage5.Positive body language6.Restate7.Reflect8.Summarize

4 Styles of Communication

1.Passive2.Passive-Aggressive3.Aggressive4.Assertive

“I” Message

I feel

When

Because

I need

Assertive Communication Model

Termination/Completion

• Review the original entry on each client’s Control Log.

• Contrast the changes or lack of changes.• Suggest problems areas for future work.• Ask each client to contribute feedback to

those completing the course.

The Key to Success in Mastering Anger Management…

• Motivation to change

• &

• Practice,practice,practice

12301 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 418Los Angeles, CA 90025

Tel: 310.207.3591~Fax: [email protected]

www.andersonservices.com

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Adult Anger Management Presentation